“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
I’ve learned in my own particular spiritual walk that no expectations is the way to accomplish everything in the world.
Father Michael Lopez
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I was able to come home early from school and relax at home yesterday. Nice!
Sat in slumber with a bent neck
Focused on the flashing lights
Like waiting for the three sevens to appear
Many hours passed the only movement, eyes
And twitching thumbs
Manipulating an avatar
Somewhat to my will
Game over for body
Game over for brain
The creaks and aches remind me
Reality is only virtually the same
The ones who thrive long term are those who understand the real world is a never ending chain of absurdity, confusions, messy relationships and imperfect people.
Morgan Housel
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for this delicious-smelling skin cream that I bought 2 or 3 years ago and use sparingly. Today is not special but it smells special now.
What a journey this life is! Dependent entirely, on things unseen.
James Baldwin
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be friends with Nong Art, who helped me order kratom online this morning, accidentally finding a cheaper option!
There was a wisdom to the air
A confidence contained in words
A charismatic character
Striding forth with bellows
Seen from the side
Seen straight ahead
Backwards or upside down
Never questioned, the whys
– I questioned the wise
Found lacking and falling short
Unveiled, revealed to me
It matters not, what you see
This is just a matter for me
When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.
bell hooks
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that Amy got offered both jobs and took the 2nd one as it allows her to travel in February before starting in March. Excellent.
What exists, exists so that it can be lost and become precious.
Lisel Mueller
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that Amy is going for two job interviews already! She hasn’t even been in Australia for a week yet.
Last night I had a couple of spoonfuls of kratom powder and got really dug into creating some music, though I ran out of time to play guitar. It was only later, when I was feeding the cats and talking with Amy, that I realised how hungry I was and I was even feeling a little nauseous as I was eating some salmon I had bought.
After watching some TV, I was feeling tired and had a shower and couldn’t even read much before falling to sleep and it was a deep, long one. I don’t remember waking up at all. I’ve started using a sleep app, though I don’t have a watch for monitoinrg and the app told me my sleep was only 69% quality, so I’m a little doubtful how well it is actually working.
Amy has two job interviews lined up today, which is crazy. She hasn’t even been there a week! Fern also advised her about a position available where she works too.
My morning classes were excellent. I tested 2/9 (grade 8) with a really difficult text and they were so happy and shocked when I told them it was for a grade 12 level. I was teaching them not to be scared of difficult-looking things and that their skill level is very good.
I’ll take it easy for my last class in the afternoon and then have to psych myself up for the weekend. Vacuuming and washing need to be squeezed in along with all the cat and garden maintenance. Also have to take the car for service, which will give me the opportunity to walk a bit until it’s ready.
I hope in my lifetime to see the first human being created without pain.
Aria Babu, on Artificial Wombs
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to meet Matt yesterday and get a surprise gift which was very kind and generous.
Time goes quickly, whether at home or work. I should remind myself that time quickly goes when I’m having fun, so I should be happy with that.
Last night, after getting home, I fiddled about with the things I fiddle about with and then enjoyed watching some comedy. I wanted to watch a movie but within a couple of minutes, I was put off by the acting, so I checked IMDB for reviews and read that the story was ok but that the bad acting spoiled it all so I decided to give it a miss.
Had a good sleep that I would’ve enjoyed for longer if I could but got up and did an arm workout. As I was eating breakfast, I saw someone walk past our window, which, weirdly, didn’t surprise me as much as I thought it would! I quickly realised that it was just Amy’s mum and she had come early, as grandmum wanted to go to the temple for her birthday today.
This morning’s classes were fun and I was very heartened to hear from students that next week, when they all have to do Red Cross activities, they all said that it was a waste of time and that they would prefer to be studying instead. Apparently, we (the high school teachers) are supposed to be going to Primary to help out there. I would rather be teaching!
Sitting in House for the rest of the afternoon. Looking at writing prompts and the first one is about obstacles. I don’t feel that I have any obstacles, really. But I want to imagine myself having an obstacle to overcome and how to go about it. Actually, I don’t want to imagine myself, but to write a story about someone else having that problem to overcome. I need to get my imagination back in gear again. My creative side.
I’ve enjoyed messing around with the keyboard to create mini-tunes, so want to continue developing that side of my personality. When talking to Matt yesterday, he said that he hadn’t been recording anything of the modular music he’d been creating and I was considering saying to him to record some and give it to me to manipulate more, but then I remembered that I had self-committed to remixing all the Senyawa stems last year but only ended up doing three. So, really, I would probably feel better motivated by doing it all myself from scratch – that would feel like more of an investment to me.
Anyway, obstacles. As I sit and write, I can think of many minor obstacles that I could consider. They just don’t seem significant. They feel like they will just naturally be overcome. I’ve learned to sit back and reflect on things more and problems (obstacles) tend to just naturally disappear. The importance we place on many thing just aren’t really what they seem.
When you’re young, dumb and energetic, your greatest asset is that you’re young, dumb and energetic.
Cole Schafer
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that Amy arrived in Australia safe and sound. It was good to see her in our old house last night.
17th August 2023 – Amy’s old friend Anna and her husband still live in our old Chatswood apartment and offer us space to stay if we ever need it and I still receive bits and pieces of mail there so I can use it as an Aussie address still if necessary.
Damn, those kids were noisy in class and I can see that for some, they are not interested to study. So, I’ll just continue to focus on the ones who are trying their best. The sad thing is that the ones not interested could actually do the work. It’s not difficult. There are just too many damn kids in the class.
Anyway, I kept it as fun as possible and everything was OK. I floated around for the afternoon, pretty much just waiting until 4pm to go home.
I couldn’t tell if Amy’s parents had come and watered, so I did it again, which was pleasant and relaxing. I made it to my room but didn’t do much on Ableton and the keyboard; instead, I got sucked into the guitar, which has fallen off the last few weeks, so my fingers are a little soft. I played until they hurt too much to carry on.
In the middle of this, Amy called from our old home, where Anna and Big Boy now live and Amy felt so happy to recall all our memories from there. She was already excitedly talking about new plans. I’m glad she’s feeling good, though I can (and she can) already feel how expensive everything is. 100 dollar taxi from the airport!
(Later) Just the one class today, which was fine, though the kids were a little restless. It was still fun. I got my pay cheque today, which I’ve been hanging for and not just have to wait for it to clear.
I went over to Matt’s and he surprised me with a huge bottle of wee tincture, some dried wee and some mushrooms. Awesome! A pity I have to take the car for service on Saturday morning but maybe I can take a dose when I get home.
Matt and I talked a lot about getting older and being happy not to be surrounded by friends for friendship’s sake. We’re happy with ourselves.
Do you still have a deep dark secret?
I don’t think I do. There are perhaps certain things that I wouldn’t tell certain people but ultimately, there’s nothing really so secret in my life. There are things I’ve done that I’m not so proud of but they are all in the context of growth and development. In the end, I hope to put down everything here (in this blog) and some things may upset certain people if they ever saw them but they are generally intended without judgment and just a record of events and feelings of those moments.
I don’t think I’ve ever had any kind of dark secret.
On writing: In these youthful efforts, there was no desire to say something particular, to recall a memorable experience, to express a strongly held opinion or to air a grievance.
Abdulrazak Gurnah
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for this pretty red and black shirt that I can fit into again now that I’ve lost some weight!
It’s a cold Chinese New Year morning. Yesterday was a great day and I was very happy even though busy running around, taking care of the cats and trying to fit in all the things I like doing. As I was reading comics, I was starting to feel sleepy but then I went for a shower and got re-energised again. Eventually, I had a good sleep with good, forgotten dreams, but less than six hours.
Still, I woke up just before my alarm and got up and exercised and got myself up and running, ready for the day. My morning classes were cancelled as there is something going on for the Chinese New Year. Just the noisy 1/6 (grade 7) kids in the afternoon, so it should be an easy day
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