Month: October 2023

What Is Culture Today? – 21st October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Everything is an advert Begging you to pay But it’s all a load of talk With very little to say No contribution to society Not in any little way Is it only me alone That doesn’t understand the play Too old for an opinion Too old, too far away Is it possible to tell me What is culture today?

Today I’m feeling:

Excitedly anxious as we pack and prepare for our flight this afternoon. I’m not looking forward to it but am looking forward to getting back to Thailand and home. It’s been very pleasant to be back in Sydney as a tourist but that’s all I am in relation to being here this time.

Today I’m grateful for:

Karin and Peter for letting us use their house as a base whilst they are away on their own travels. I’ve never met them but I am grateful.

The best thing about today was:

It hasn’t happened yet but getting off this plane will probably be it!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There are lots of empty seats in today’s flight so should be able to spread out a little bit after take-off. 

(later) The ten hours are nearly up and this flight has been nowhere near as much of a struggle as the one to Australia. I’ve stayed awake and hope to be able to sleep soon after getting to the hotel and then be back to normal in the morning. Let’s see.

Something I learned today?

Being able to catch up on my Substack reading I read a lot about Israel and Palestine and didn’t realise that the Jews in Israel are extremely disunited and would likely collapse into civil war without having Palestinians as an enemy.

How can I be kinder to myself today?

I’m pretty kind to myself every day. I don’t think I need to be especially kinder. I’d be better served by being kinder to other people and again, I feel I’m kind most of the time too. I have noticed how much Australians are more wordily polite than folks in Thailand but also at the same time how these words don’t always translate into actions.

Today will be a little gruelling as we spend 9-plus hours on a plane. I’ll try to remain patient and kind!

I took this picture because that’s our plane and the last picture of Australia for a while.

The Price Of Peace – 20th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Reality doesn’t care about your shoulds and shouldn’ts
The way out of suffering is the same on any scale
Would you side with peace or with the wouldn’ts?
Determined to see the negotiations fail
Does the price of peace negate your profits?
How many bodies are on your bottom line?
The brave will do the right thing to stop it
Not afraid to call the reality a crime

First two lines borrowed from Caitlin Johnstone

Today I’m feeling:

Slow but positive. Got home at around midnight and found the documentary about the making of Dogs in Space on TV so watched that and then there was a show about an explosion on an active volcanic island in New Zealand that killed 22 tourists. It was pretty compelling and kept me up til 2 am.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s co-workers to have become good friends and colleagues over the last 18 months. They were quite emotional to say goodbye today at dinner.

The best thing about today was:

Walking through Balmain down to the ferry, with a beautiful full blue Australian sky, purple jacaranda blooms scattered across the ground and the scent of jasmine everywhere.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy wants to dance this evening and I’m tired already but know that she will miss all this very much. I sat just outside in the foyer reading and finally, Amy came out.

Something I learned today?

China’s divorce rate has dropped for three years in a row. This seems surprising considering that time includes pandemic lockdowns where it would be assumed that families having to spend so much time together would get on each other’s nerves and separate easily.

What are you afraid of?

Toothache. At the wedding, I broke some more off one of my teeth whilst eating risotto of all things. The nerve isn’t exposed thankfully but it’s only a matter of time before more pieces break off and fall out. Toothache is the worst!

I’m afraid of other more existential things too but right now it’s toothache!

What am I longing for right now?

Knowing a long flight is ahead tomorrow I’m longing to be back home again.

I took this picture because it was a beautiful day to be a tourist in Sydney so that’s what we did.

This City – 19th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This city has me beat
And it’s you, not me
We’re not like we used to be
I used to love this dirty street 
Where I could run free
From mountain to sea
Seems it’s been too long
Between drinks for you and me
And what we used to be
Now everything feels wrong
And once again I’ll flee
From the concrete to the tree

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more lively. Slept at about 1 am when I actually felt sleepy for a change. Woke up a few times to pee and then my neck was uncomfortable so got up at 8.30 am. I need to get back to exercise and routine when back home to Thailand.

Today I’m grateful for:

The Mediterranean breakfast that I had for lunch. I haven’t eaten halloumi and hommus for a long time and it was a good affirmation that they still taste good to me.

The best thing about today was:

Catching up with Jochen and Sabina again, enjoying a great meal of Indian food and then Jochen and I checked out Batpiss and Deafcult at the Red Rattler. The show had an odd vibe but I enjoyed the music, especially having not been around really loud guitar bands for so long.

Something I learned today?

I learned how to get to the Tramsheds and also saw the new buildings that have gone up replacing the old Harris Park stadium.

What is something I’m getting better at doing?

I suppose as I get older I’m getting worse at doing physical things but getting better at mental and emotional things. I get better at the things I practice; language, guitar, self-control.

This is the only picture I took today, at the playground behind the Harris Park apartments.

Ground Run – 18th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The whole of life calls for tears
The past is done, the future coming 
Now is when the fog clears
Get ready to hit the ground running

Today I’m feeling:

Tired. I’m sleeping better but still not well so waking up feeling out of it and a little dizzy. Nothing on this morning though so can take it easy and get my brain into gear slowly.

Today I’m grateful for:

Mei and Haken again for picking up all of Amy’s donations this evening after sharing a nice dinner of tapas with them and their friends.

The best thing about today was:

Taking the ferry from Drummoyne to Olympic Park and seeing every single house and apartment that we are likely never to be able to afford along the way. Sydney is a wealthy city, or in a lot of debt.

Something I learned today?

Watching a documentary today about abandoned places, I learned about an old nuclear missile silo somewhere in the USA that housed the biggest baddest bombs of the time but due to technological advances had become obsolete and abandoned after only three years.

What is an experience that changed my perspective?

My experience of being in Thailand has certainly changed my perspective on many things and is highlighted by my return to Australia where I now feel a little out of place again. Perhaps it is the switch from country living to being back in the city again though. I guess I’m a country boy at heart. The slower quieter life.

I took this picture because it was certainly a beautiful day on the Harbour. This was Amy’s view every morning as she went to work.

The Odds – 17th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What are the odds
This collection of atoms came together
And had these thoughts?

What are the odds
You look at me looking at you
Could we be just zeros and noughts?

What are the odds
The serpent swallows the tail
Clinging to dogmatic belief?

What are the odds
Surrounding the enemy with gun towers
Will bring both factions relief?

What are the odds
A three-legged horse
Stumbles forward to win the race?

What are the odds
These atoms are once again returned
To be in their rightful place?

Today I’m feeling:

I thought I would be able to sleep last night but by midnight I was awake again so watched some cricket and read until about 2 am when I finally fell asleep.

A couple of hours after waking up again I’m still blurry. I kind of hope I can struggle through and when I get back to Thailand I can more easily fall back into place with the time change again.

Today I’m grateful for:

An easy day of not having to rush around to meet people. It’s a rainy grey day too so, perfect for minimal action and some TV watching.

The best thing about today was:

Finding a George Carlin documentary on the Foxtel box that they have here where we are staying. Like any kind of cable or stream service, there are a bajillion crappy things to scroll through until you find some gold.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

We caught a bus out to Leichardt to try some Italian food and as we were approaching our stop the bus suddenly veered off down another street and so we got off at the first stop and had to walk back in the rain and cold. Amy complained a little but it wasn’t very far and was soon cheered up by seeing a beautiful blue point cat in a window as we went by.

Something I learned today?

I checked out the new Kings Comics location in Sydney, now in a very nice building on Clarence Street. I saw a copy of Love and Rockets #13 there which means I have a couple of back issues to read to catch up on it.

What is one area of life I’d like to improve?

In general, my life is pretty good. Getting some minor health issues addressed would be useful such as my dodgy teeth, eyes and feet. That’s about it.

I took this picture because these lights outside the school in Rozelle are pretty

No Subjects – 16th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

With no subjects, you are no king
Perhaps just the king of nothing
No one to serve and bring
To give your life the desired meaning

Addicted to looking on down
From the belltowers of the town
An arsenal of words to deploy
The superiority for one to enjoy
The minions though, now vacated
The unknowingly abdicated

Today I’m feeling:

I managed to sleep around midnight but kept waking up, eventually getting up at 9.30 but not really waking up until coffee and breakfast at 11. Even so, I think I could sleep again now. I miss the times of long good sleep, about two weeks ago!

I got a photo from Noey yesterday of her and Art in Utopia without me, where we all usually are on Sunday mornings.

Today I’m grateful for:

Dave and Mai to pick us up and pick up Amy’s things that she can’t bring back to Thailand, drive us into the city and enjoy breakfast together.

The best thing about today was:

A general feeling of calm and well-being, noticed particularly when sitting in Three Wise Monkies as Amy drank a red wine and I looked out of the window as folks struggled with the sudden cold wind and rain.

Something I learned today?

Israel advised people to leave the North Gaza Strip before they would bomb there. That’s nice, isn’t it? Then, they bombed the people as they were out in the open leaving. There will be war forever in Israel. Even when Palestine has disappeared completely, the Zionist agenda has made too many victims.

I took this picture because I was quite impressed with this view from the top floor of Myer.
Fatman report

Aching Bone – 15th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Everyone has got an aching bone
Something imperfect inside
The picture may be pretty
But there’s always something to hide

Flat feet, terrible teeth
The flaws remain concealed
There’s lipstick on the cover
In the morning the truth revealed

Bad breath and wrinkled eyes
The Botox is wearing off
The aching bone is constantly nagging
Unable to look pretty and cough

As I was waiting somewhere, my left foot aching from fallen arches, a pretty girl walked by, drawing my eyes. Perfect on the outside, what is her fallen arch? Her hidden aching bone?

Today I’m feeling:

(1.40 am) still awake with a headache.

(3pm) When I finally got to sleep it was deep and with no real morning planned for, I slept until 11am and headed off to coffee and Tom’s new shop on the bus. Even then I didn’t quite wake up until I started browsing the books in the shop, of which he had curated a good selection and I picked up about five. It was good to see Tom too, he looks like he’s doing well these days. 

I walked over to Newtown which was really nice to do, past old buildings and streets I used to drive through.

I got to Moshpit and met Bob and Julian and the band turned up and I caught up with everyone again. Nicely nostalgic and not too weird, even though it’s a Sunday afternoon and I have other places to go to soon.

Today I’m grateful for:

Tom and 19th Nervous Breakdown for buying me coffee, giving me CDs and only charging me 20 bucks for 5 books and a CD. Good man!

Also to Julian for covering the cost of my ticket to the show today. Good man! 

The best thing about today was:

Catching up with Shouwang and Carsick Cars again and talking about the good old days, I suppose. It seems like in Beijing these aren’t the good old days anymore.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Apart from my sleep there was nothing much that couldn’t be easily handled. I didn’t even eat until 7 pm except a Snicker Bars which took off another piece of tooth after losing a bit last night whilst eating bread rolls. I guess that was out of my control but thankfully the filling is still intact so there’s no pain at the moment.

Something I learned today?

Thanks to Dave I learned too much about chickens and limestone. I’m somewhat jealous of people like Bronwyn and Dave who are just able to keep talking even if it’s not that interesting or relevant. I noticed Dave checking himself occasionally before he started wandering off into conspiracy land though he did end up getting into something but I can’t even remember what it was now because it was just so dumb.

Who do I need to spend time with?

I need to spend more time with Amy and to settle back into a comfortable routine that will work for me again. I know there will not be enough time to do all the things I’ve been used to and Amy will have me busy doing things.

I took this picture because it’s been a good while since I got my ears blasted at a show.

Glimmers – 14th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Every little while
Comes surreptitious smile
Whilst looking at a girl’s pretty toes
A leaf whirls from the sky
A bike goes whizzing by
Towards the city’s night time neon glows

The matrix may be woken
The nightmare briefly broken
When the moonlit water shimmers
A coffee cup of thoughts
Sees a pumpkin on the porch
And hopes to hold on to the glimmers

inspired by a couple of lines in this post at Spinning Visions
24th Jul 2024 – Submitted to Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Moonlit
7th Aug 2024 – Submitted to Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Glimmer

Today I’m feeling:

So tired. Only had about 5 or 6 hours sleep again but had to get up and go to meet Hayden and Bronwyn for breakfast and though I’m tired I still have energy reserves probably from all the food I’ve been eating.

Today I’m grateful for:

The guy from the AEC who helped us skip the hour-long queue because I told him we weren’t sure if we were registered. Neat trick. Got to the Yum Cha quicker for lunch.

The best thing about today was:

Walking around the park parts of Barangaroo and under the bridge, past the Rocks and to Circular Quay was pretty nice this morning. Even though the visage is familiar and I have many similar photos it’s pretty hard to resist taking new ones.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My sleep is still totally out of control. The funny thing is that when I woke up at 8 am Sydney time and sent a message to one of my students, where it was 4 am, they replied wondering why I was still awake. I asked them the same thing! I tried to nap at 4 pm but that was useless too. I’m just out of whack.

Something I learned today?

Our friends Mei and Haken were in a car crash last night though luckily neither were seriously hurt. Mei was supposed to be a bridesmaid at the wedding today but unfortunately was still a little sore and shaken up for those duties.

What is something I look forward to every day?

Coffee. I’ve gotten used to the coffee in Chiang Rai now though and these Aussie coffees are not so tastily satisfying for me anymore. I managed to stick with just two today though, which is good.

Bronwyn took this picture because she wanted another shot of Hayden and me together. We looked at each other laughing and shaking our heads at her. I like this picture a lot.

The Ian Jury – 13th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A complete genius or total wanker
There’s no in-between
A diamond geezer or a tosspot
If you know what I mean?

Of course, it was a waste
For those with good taste
Lost in old England’s dream
When the rhythm stick hit
Championing the Brit
Inspired by old sweet Gene
A London vicar
A treat or tricker
And occasionally obscene
With panties and boots
From Edwardian roots
Cloaked in a music hall theme

inspired by Will Burch’s Ian Dury biography

Today I’m feeling:

(1.30 am) I’m still awake again. I’m super tired but just can’t get to sleep.

(9 am) I reckon I got to sleep at around 3.30 after trying various different places around the house. It was so frustrating. My 8am alarm shook me awake and I did 100 star jumps to try and actually wake up. On the bus and in the city waiting to see Hayden.

(11.15 am) I’m starting to flag. Hayden’s flight was delayed an hour and I’m desperately trying to keep my eyes open.

Today I’m grateful for:

Ray Ahn at Utopia Records and Nic at Repressed Records for giving me information and updates on what’s happening around Sydney these days. I’m glad they still remembered me!

The best thing about today was:

Catching up with Hayden and his news and cruising around town in and out of various shops. Another day of more than ten thousand steps.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My brain was a little out of control there for a while as I got dizzy looking at all the books in Kinokunya.

Something I learned today?

Ray Ahn recommended three bands to me; fortuitously, one of them will play the show on Sunday.

What brings me the most fulfilment?

Teaching for sure. Since returning to Sydney for these few days I’m realising how much my life has changed since leaving Australia. My eyes opened to new ideas and pace of life. Whereas I may have found fulfilment with music before, organising and working with artists; that feels like a different life. That’s ok. It’s better not to just be stuck in one thing forever. I’ve worn many hats and maybe I’ll still have a chance to wear more.

Who has influenced my life in a profound way?

All the special women in my life. My mom, Emma, Cherry, Bronwyn, TLJ, Echo, Lorraine, Kyoko, Chise and Amy. Small parts and big, all these people I have loved and got me where I am right now, attending a wedding overlooking the beautiful waters of Sydney. It’s been an up-and-down journey that I’m proud to have travelled.  Let’s keep going. Now the special women in my life are my students who I hope I can inspire to realise their dreams.

Hayden took this picture because we haven’t seen each other for four years and we’re both happy and healthy these days.

Foreign Policy – 12th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When my boot is on your neck
I’ll offer you charity for your aid
Then once our positions are understood
Your debt to me needs to be repaid

I’m sympathetic to all your woes
But don’t finger-point at me
Even though it’s no longer a secret
About my foreign policy

The blame lies back with yourself
And your own quest to rule
The floods and famine of God’s will
And you’ve been played the fool

You are the pirates, as I steal
You are the dictator, as I dictate
Look around for your own slaves
And look to me to imitate

I rained down democratic bombs
Gave you the freedom you need
You’re exactly where you are wanted
Precisely as I agreed

Today I’m feeling:

(2 am) Despite a long day, I’m still awake. Have a headache and tense legs. I want to sleep. I know I’m tired. But my body just won’t let me.

I’ve watched a star travel from the middle of the window until the edge, over these last three hours.

(11 am) I woke up again around 7 am with the sun shining through the window and was wide awake again for another hour. I managed to get up despite not wanting to, as I want to get coffee!

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to link my Aussie bank card to Apple Pay which makes it easy to pay for things here.

The best thing about today was:

The evening of jazz was nice and I enjoyed it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After looking forward to walking down King Street in Newtown I was disappointed in the shops that are there now and that despite it being late-night shopping, everywhere except for bars and restaurants were already closing before 6 pm. The city too seems a little over-gentrified with only a few old-school shops being able to hold on and it won’t be long for them either. This is not my city anymore.

Something I learned today?

Sydney is not what it used to be.

I got a message today that we go back to school on the 27th which gives me a couple of extra recovery days. However, for some reason they want us to work at the weekend too! I think for us we can probably just go and clock in though. I’m not sure what they expect us to be doing really.

What is one thing that I have always wanted to create?

Since enjoying music so much in my life I’ve also wanted to make it. Unfortunately, I have little talent or education and now I don’t make enough time to do it despite having the tools available. There’s still plenty of time left, right?

I took this picture because this is the first, and maybe last, time at Lazybones jazz club in Marrickville.