Month: December 2023

Maybe It’s A Madness – 21st December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Staring at the TV static
Hearing the song of the dishwasher
Hidden messages reveal themselves
To those who listen closer

The stars whisper in the wind
Words that make the shapes
Colours taste of iron and gold
The myth perpetuates

Maybe it’s a madness
But someone must be chosen
As the alien messenger
The guide for the gods

Today I’m feeling:

Definitely tired again and not from lack of sleep.  Still waiting to get over the hump of exhaustion brought on by exercise.  Thankfully just the one class in the morning today and I spent til midday running around to get documents together for my work permit again before heading home and a catch up nap.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nancy again, as I asked if she could get the medical certificate I needed for me again, like she did last time.  Otherwise it means me either waiting around or going back to the city after 6pm and the last time I did that the clinic didn’t even open.  Happily, she agreed.

The best thing about today was:

A third coffee at 22 Grams, after a couple earlier at House. It tasted delicious and spurred me to action to make some easy Quizizz for my classes tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been trying to push my student Baipad to become more confident and independent but I can see now that she is not yet mature enough and is somewhat comfortable despite her frustrations.

I get it, at 14, we want independence AND everything handed to us on a plate. Sooner or later a rude shock awakens us.

It’s an interesting contrast that she knows girls a similar age as her back in her family village in the mountains and they are already having babies. We both agreed that that is not a good situation to be in but also highlights her somewhat comfortable life at home where a bed and a mobile phone are the main objects of her interest.

Something I learned today?

I still don’t have syphilis! I’m not sure why foreigners need to get tested for this to get a work permit.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I made sure to encourage the students who were putting some effort into their work today. Once they got rolling with it, it was great to see. Some days they make me proud. Tomorrow may be a different story of course, but I’ll take it for today.

I took this picture because this is as Christmassy as we get here in Chiang Rai. This year, despite being two months into winter already, we’re still using aircon for a couple of hours at night.

To The Beach We Enjoy – 20th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The pinnacle of freedom, sunning on the sand
It’s been worth it, all those working hours planned
How to make the day last longer than a minute?
How to enjoy the freedom when sunk deep within it?

A mind numb from routine, endless pointless tasks
Accumulating misery that the search for freedom masks
Another dollar, another day disappears again
It’s a low bar for freedom that dribbles down the drain

Today I’m feeling:

A little run down after these three days of double exercise.  I must push through though.  I can still feel the general improvement in my body and the tiredness is more through not enough sleep.  I wanted to get to bed earlier last night but was enjoying listening to Amy talking about this, that and the other.

Today I’m grateful for:

Leo being reasonably calm this morning when I took him for a walk so that I don’t need to wash my pants like I did last week.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing another writing book, this one for poems.  It’s always exciting because I look forward to a new book and it’s width will effect how I write in it.  However at the moment I have a couple of half used books that I want to fill up first rather than waste the paper.  Actually, if I think about it I have lots of half empty books that I could finish off too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was grumpy with me when I indicated that I wanted her to stop poking me whilst I was eating.  I know she was just having fun but I got a little annoyed.  I don’t like things happening while I’m eating.  I like to sit and watch TV without disturbance.  Anyway, Amy went off and I finished my food and tried to carry on as normal.

Something I learned today?

I saw an interview with RFK Jr where he said some pretty dumb things (in my mind) about the genocide in Palestine.  It them made me wonder (into conspiracy theory territory perhaps).  What if those who wish to be in control in the USA were getting worried that RFK Jr was looking likely to become president next year and, knowing that he would support Israel in any conflict with Palestine, gave the go ahead for Netanyahu to destroy Palestine with impunity so that when RFK Jr showed his support of Israel he would likely lose lots of votes from those who support his other policies.  I saw lots of comments online saying that those who once supported him would no longer.  USA politics is such a fucking shitshow that conspiracy is almost likely.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

In both my classes I encouraged and coached my students to guide them to the information they needed to complete my work so that almost no one was left behind.  The kids are in a relaxed mood due to sports events and Christmas.  I’m trying to relax with them but also pushing them along.

Some students were a little grumpy with me for penalising them for not doing my work yesterday but I soon managed to get them smiling again.  Mostly, anyway.

In the garden, I tied up a little of the pencil tree again as it is growing off in crazy directions and I watered the plants at the back whilst Tigger was sunning himself on the fresh-cut grass.

Which book did you read in college or school that was actually interesting enough that you still think or talk about it sometimes?

Going through my old diaries reminded me of some of the books that I read in my teenage years and surprised me that I was reading more than I ever remembered.  I always felt it was a struggle to read.  Some of the titles were familiar but not so much the stories.  I was proud of reading all 6 of the Thomas Covenant books and, again, whilst remembering little of the story now, the achievement still resonates with me and has removed the fear of reading long books.  War and Peace now sits waiting on my to-be-read shelf.

Tonaor took this picture because she likes to take selfies and so I gave her my phone because I can’t hold the phone in the professional manner that these kids can. So lots of face pulling and snaps later this is the one I like the best. Tonoar, myself, Namkhing.

Titanium – 19th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This missile will find its way
Into the hands of men as gods
This bomb, when come out to play
Accelerates the unlikely odds
Nowhere safe from your precious metals
In bunkers even, sat hiding
Under rocks, the earth unsettles
Monsters are patiently residing

Today I’m feeling:

Good again though I can feel tired from the morning exercise and last night I didn’t stay up much past nine pm.

Today I’m grateful for:

The immigration officer at Mae Sai who gave me my visa, which allows me another ninety days stay and then one year. And I can get that next one at Chiang Rai.

The best thing about today was:

Not being at work in the morning.  It’s always good not to be at work when you are supposed to be, even though I enjoy my work these days.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Every day I could fill this space with something about my classes or students.  Knowing that I wouldn’t be at school this morning I sent work to my students on Saturday to give them plenty of time to do it beforehand if they so wished.  I reminded them on Saturday night, on Sunday and yesterday too but still, there were 13 students that didn’t do any work or communicate with me about their not being able to do it. 

Some will use an excuse that they had to go for vaccination during class time but that’s not going to fly as they knew about the classwork three days previously.  It has got me thinking about how to make some kind of lessons about planning and preparing for things.

Something I learned today?

I read an interview with volunteer medical emergency people in New York where they discuss trying to treat gunshot victims sometimes even as firefights are happening between the police and the ‘criminals’. Just replaying those thoughts over made me realise that the USA is already a third-world country.

What kind of responsible country has gun fights on its streets? What kind of organised country requires volunteer emergency services? A third-world one. It feels like the USA is trying to drag everyone down to their level.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I drove myself and Amy to the city this morning and I took Leo for a walk before driving us both to Mae Sai and back home.

I took time to prep a class for work that they have to do tomorrow so they were a little surprised that they had no actual work to do. 

Hopefully, they are primed and thinking about what they need to do tomorrow.  I’m pretty sure they can articulate in Thai but they need to figure it out in English.

I had to hold three students back in class because they didn’t do the work that I asked of them during class time.  Once they had resigned themselves to this fact I tried to make it at least a little bit fun for them until they had finished. 

Unfortunately, one of them was overemotional and rushed their work so that it was illegible and I had to make them do it again.  By now, everyone else was gone and the sound of kids outside having fun was very obvious. She eventually broke down crying saying ‘I want to go home’ and though I felt sorry for her I realised that she is very selfish and very spoiled by others around her.  I gave her some sympathy but also reminded her that it was her own bad choices that put her in this situation. 

As we were leaving the class I tried to remember what it was like when I was being ‘taught a lesson’ and put myself in her shoes. 

I like to credit my kids with smarts, they know exactly how to manipulate adults to get what they want and I feel like their tears are more because they know they fucked up and were wishing they hadn’t.  I felt really sorry for her but had to stop myself from giving in and letting her off.

How have I prioritized my well-being this year?

This has been by slowly increasing the amount of exercise I get and I have learned that I feel better and more positive on the days that I exercise.

I have also gotten into the habit of reading things that reinforce what I already know and though they often fizz in and out of clear memory I can feel that reinforcement building slowly, protecting my emotional stability.

Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

If this was inside the house…I don’t think there’s anything that can’t be replaced so maybe I might just grab anything to hand….  Grabbing important documents would be handy but I’d have to shove Amy back inside to grab them as I would undoubtedly grab the wrong things, for which I would forever feel her wrath!

If it was in my room then it would probably be my old photos. I’m slowly trying to digitize them all and if that ever becomes the case, even though I would have them stored online somewhere I would probably grab my hard drives with all the pictures, music, books and comics that I’ve collected over the years.

I took this picture because I was surprised to see all this extra decoration on the window at Utopia over the weekend.

To The Bliss – 18th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Challenge the unchallenged
Surrendering to the blissful
Ignorance, life unexamined
Anxiety becomes wishful
– A fate worse than death!

inspired by Existential Comics
submitted to Moonwashed Musings

Today I’m feeling:

Excellent.  Got up 5 minutes earlier than usual so that I can incorporate some stretching into my morning exercise routine.  Also gone back to two lots of exercise.  The habit is fairly well entrenched now so doing a little extra is not too much of an issue.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru David joining me briefly for a coffee at House. It cut into my writing time but actually, I appreciated a quick chat about AFL and racist English hooligans!

The best thing about today was:

Getting home around 2pm and getting lots of things done earlier than usual (trying to prioritise things).  It’s not even 6pm at the moment and just a couple of things left to do.  I was already contemplating going to bed and reading comics and I’ll do that soon I think. 

I need to adjust my sleep time a little too, with getting up five minutes earlier and extra morning exercise.  I don’t seem to have any problem falling asleep but I’ve not been getting good sleep recently due to waking up with pain in my right shoulder.

Something I learned today?

I read an interesting article on the West’s history of the Great Leap Forward in China and how no one who went there could find any evidence of a famine at all.  There were food shortages due to 3 years of crop failure and the US, intent on destroying the Communist Party of China, then sanctioned grain into the country.  However, the CPC continued to distribute grain to those most in need. 

The whole narrative is posited to be pure Western propaganda and the figures quoted for the number of people who died were just the usual number of people that died anyway.  When something is quoted as ‘6 million people died during the famine’ it implies that it would be on top of the normal death rate. 

The author provided lots of evidence and it also reinforces other articles I’ve read recently stating that the US war with China started when they realised the Nationalists would be defeated by the communists. 

Over time, I’ve become more convinced of the lies and deceit at play in the hands of the USA and it has become much harder to decide what is the truth.  As the old phrase states, ‘If you see the lips moving then you know they are lying.’

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

The usual encouragement to my students for trying their best.

What were some moments of joy I experienced this year?

This is hard for me to recall specifically but as moments of joy did not particularly stand out (which doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy or having a great time) I do recall moments of savouring. And these too are not specific but I do recall the feeling when it occurs.

Sometimes this might be several times a day and other times maybe just once a week. It could be on a bike ride, drinking a coffee, eating food or just sitting and reflecting. That feeling has come more often in recent years rather than moments of joy.

I took this picture because Cappuccino looked beautiful sitting in the soft light of the sunrise this morning.

The Expected Surprise – 17th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Raise a toast from the bottle of heartbreak
Tears mist the eyes of dead teenage butterflies
These wounds become a comfort given time
Waxing poetic about the expected surprise

These are the happy things, preparing for grief
The painful goodbyes in the rear-view mirror
Bigger, brighter things are on the way to love
Slowly, gently, this will all become clearer

Butchered, mangled, inspired by this post at Spinning Visions
Submitted to #Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge Expect

Today I’m feeling:

A little lazy. I was going to get up with my alarm but still sleepy, Amy almost shouted at me from her bed, getting up, where are you going….? Jesus, let me wake up a little! I brushed my teeth, took a piss and got back into bed for another hour of sleep where I had a dream about us being able to drive on a piece of A4 paper as if it was a car!

Today I’m grateful for:

The trees that Amy’s mum planted on our land years before we came here and have grown to provide great shade from the sun but now have gotten so big that their roots threaten to cause problems to the foundations of our buildings.  We will cut four and I hope the remaining three will be able to grow faster and stronger to provide shade again into the spaces that will be left.

The best thing about today was:

Having a tidy garden again once the gardeners had finished their work, the smell of cut grass wafting through the house.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve noticed (again) that I don’t really like being in my man cave so much – it’s not quite comfortable for me and whereas in the living room of our house I feel like I am centred, in my room I feel like I am on the periphery. It’s only a remove of about six metres but it makes all the difference. 

I’m having to force myself to go there to get certain things done and figuring out ways to do other things back in the living room without having all my stuff scattered around.  This is a compromise of Amy’s return to our home.

Something I learned today?

An avocado is a berry.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I wished Noey a happy holiday as this will be the last time I see her at Utopia until next year.

I bought an onion in the local market and thanked the lady who commented that I spoke good Thai.

I nodded appropriately to the gardener who explained what they would do to our trees though I only caught a few words. I could understand the gist especially when he pointed at some leaves that looked like they were getting eaten by some bug.

I did the washing this morning, hung it out and brought it back in in the evening.

I shampooed Tigger’s head as he is getting the scabs again that he got last year around this time.  He wasn’t happy but accepted his fate well enough and of course, went outside as soon as he could and rolled around in the dirt again.  He really loves our home.

What changes did I experience this year?

The biggest change has been at home of course, with Amy being back in the house, cleaning up and bossing me around.

Other changes have been more subtle, such as my slow improvement to health and fitness. Also my adjustment in confidence when riding the motorbike since coming off it.

And if I look closely I can see signs of my skin sagging a little around my cheeks and neck as my I struggle with gravity. Even lying down can’t help.

I took this picture because here’s one tree down, and three more tomorrow. It’s going to look so odd for a little while.

Le Guin’s Law – 16th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What is it I’ve lost?
I really wish I knew
Forever counting cost
The dreams that withdrew

Always filled with hunger
Came the realisation
When I was younger
I stunted imagination

Though I roll in riches

On stock market gambles

I can’t scratch the itches
That fantasy unscrambles

Today I’m feeling:

Good to go in the morning but after lunch I flaked into a long afternoon nap from which I didn’t feel very inspired by.

Today I’m grateful for:

Paul Merton, an English comedian who I have enjoyed since the 80s. I loved his absurd humour in his TV series and now he is still on the long-running show Have I Got News For You where his very English wit still resonates with me. I can still enjoy the show whilst not having any real idea of what’s going on in the UK these days.

The best thing about today was:

Morning coffee and reading some more Wuthering Heights, followed by some pleasant (forgotten) dreams during nap time.

Something I learned today?

This app (Day One) offers a book service and it looks awesome. It would be better for me if WordPress did something like that though as that has more content. Still I reckon I might get a couple printed up for Hayden and Amy.

12th Mar 2024 – I’ve since discovered that there are services that print out WordPress sites and I will try and get one done for 2023 when I finally have finished updating it, which may still take another year yet!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I bought a T-shirt from Utopia, not because I need one but just to support them. I think Utopia T-shirts are one of the most popular shirts in our area.

What songs were the soundtrack for this year?

I decided to try answering this question knowing that this year is part on an ever decreasing tendency of listening to music. 

Without there being a specific artist I would say the two things that I have heard the most are the songs that I bash along to on guitar and the Jazzcore podcast that I listen to about once a month for an hour or so, usually when I’m napping.

Which particular small thing that your partner does irritates you the most?

I’ve been mulling this over for the day and there may be many possibilities to mention but ultimately at the end of the day anything that irritates me is a choice that I’ve made.

And this is what I will keep telling myself every time I feel that way.

I took this picture because the hairdresser’s kitty reminds me so much of Kim. A happy friendly tiny little ginger cat.

Fatman report

Bloodstains – 15th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

*What you don’t understand you can make mean anything
Bleeding the meaning dry, the overthought
Adjusting the angles, mentally scrolling through the rainbow
The world become more endless once the meaning caught

*Chuck Palahniuk from Diary

Today I’m feeling:

Good and positive again. Squeezed in a couple of workouts this morning and that has given me some energy boost. Looking forward to sitting and writing after my first class today.

(later) I caught up on poetry writing, easily inspired just by random phrases from things I was reading.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the students that asked me to watch them play their sports after classes and I stayed around for more than an hour walking from place to place, watching, cheering, chatting. Everyone was in a cheerful frame of mind.

The best thing about today was:

My old workmate Marie, from the Woolworths cafe in Sydney messaging me out of the blue after about five years. She had crossed my mind occasionally when I remember happier times working there. She is now living back in France, near Paris and is a single mum. A change from when she was in Sydney and dating girls.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After having just bought tubs of ice cream at Big C I got stuck in the car park as the police closed the roads for some Royal family member passing through. No point getting too bothered, if the ice cream melts, it melts. I won’t die because of that. I did beep the guy in the car two in front of me when he let every other car out of the car park for the next five minutes after it got moving again. But it wasn’t in too much frustration, more just a reminder that maybe we could get moving too.

Apparently, lots of locals complain when the roads are closed for royalty here and it did make me wonder how it’s done in other countries. I think in some they must travel incognito because it seems pretty obvious here that it would be easy to take out the vehicles if you so had that intention, it’s pretty obvious which vehicles would be carrying someone important. I wonder how the police would react too, as it would be so unexpected and they’d probably never have had to deal with a situation like that. I’m imagining a Keystone Cops movie!

Anyway, it’s sleepy Chiang Rai. People complain and then get back on with things.

Something I learned today?

I learned how to use Kahoot in team mode in class and the kids enjoyed it a lot. I can see the benefits from it too. I think I will try to incorporate it a little more often in my lessons.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I cheered on all my students in their various sports.

I checked in with ****** this morning but didn’t talk about her home situation and just let her get her mojo back with her friends.

I took it easy with both of my classes today. I had prepped them for it so that they happily obliged doing the work that I asked them to do.

What was a small detail I noticed today?

Looking at this this morning and wondering if there might be anything I notice. I need to pay attention.

I noticed the small Christmas trees Gui put up in House. I don’t think they were here yesterday….

When I stepped out into the dark garden to take tonight’s picture I made sure to step loudly just in case there were any snakes in the grass. Unlikely but possible. I didn’t really think too much about it. Yet, as I turned to come back inside I noticed something long thin and shiny on the ground which turned out to be a shed snake skin.

I know there were many other small details registered throughout the day but they were so inconsequential that they aren’t worth any mention.

I took this picture because my camera thinks it can see the dark side of the moon.

A Muse – 14th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Her words are like kisses
Each sentence inspires
She’s an amusing muse
Setting touch-paper fires
Lighting the way to art
Where the image is created
We set ourselves apart
Related, yet unrelated
Yes, she is an amusing muse
It wasn’t up to me to choose

2nd Dec 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – amusing

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good and positive. I got to school early so that I could chat with students a little. That makes me happy. ****** wasn’t there today, Jan said she threw up this morning but I messaged her a bit later and she seemed ok though she still hasn’t even met her mum in their house since things happened a couple of nights ago.

Today I’m grateful for:

The new iOS Journal app looks pretty interesting as it gives prompts based on things you do on your phone. It’s not near a replacement for Day One yet though but it’s possible it could become so in the future.

The best thing about today was:

Watching a Love and Rockets documentary on YouTube and being reminded about what a truly awesome and inspiring comic it is. It reminds me that I would still like to get a Maggie and Hopey tattoo one day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I started looking into my lessons for the next week or two and realised I needed to make some changes but there was some problem with the files that had me fixing them for the best part of three hours. Not exactly what I had planned for the afternoon (though I hadn’t really planned anything to be honest).

What random memory comes to mind right now?

Trying to force a memory into my head just to answer this question is hardly random!

Hira Hira have popped into my head a few times recently for some reason. Seeing them play at different venues at different stages of their couple of years existence. They are a reminder of fun times of involvement in Sydney’s music scene.

I took this picture because this interesting menagerie of items caught my eye at the hotel we stayed at. The Guy Fawkes mask has become a common emblem though I’m not sure that it’s use here is indication of anything in particular. No new pictures for three days now!

Titanic Struggle – 13th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 13 Comments

All adrift, clinging to a plank
An act of violence ruptured
The bottom of the boat that sank

All hopeless, no help in icy waters
The push-and-pull unstructured
The cruel winds of heaven tortures

All alone, no kindness heard
Can the heart be healed?
Returned by the comforting word

All afire, broken and impermanent
The future one day revealed
When feet planted on new firmament

dVerse challenge

1st Jun 2024 – Submitted to the Ragtag Daily Prompt

Today I’m feeling:

Very good. I pushed through exercise and felt good for it. At school, I comforted ****** as best I could and asked Jan to keep me updated. I feel a little hopeless about helping her and I can imagine she feels even more so.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nut’s Auntie and uncle who came and cleaned up lots of little details around our garden, in particular, pulling the weeds out from the driveway where our purple grass grows.

The best thing about today was:

Hearing from my grade 10 students that the reason that they wanted me to teach them next year is that they feel relaxed in my class and find it fun and more enjoyable than with Thai teachers. I have to wonder what some of their other classes are actually like.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

On arriving home Amy was cleaning Bruno’s high-pressure hose (and seemed to be in a bad mood) and told me he wanted it back. 

I was doubtful about this as he had said to keep it as long as I needed and I still have a few places I’d like to clean up. 

I was also informed that I would have to drive Nut’s Auntie and uncle back to Bruno’s after they had finished which would be soon. 

I didn’t say anything, I hadn’t even got the shopping inside yet. I just accepted my fate and took a quick shower by which time they were ready to go. 

Of course, once we got there, Bruno was surprised to get his machine back already as he knew I hadn’t finished with it, and said to take it back. I hushed him and told him not to worry about it, as it already revealed Amy’s little white lie and I made no complaint. Amy seemed to be in a better mood by then, so all was good as we drove back home again.

Something I learned today?

It has only ever snowed two times in the Sahara. How’s that for some relatively useless information.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Once again offering support to my students struggling with mental health issues.

I took this picture on Sunday morning because this was the same mountain that we were at the top of the afternoon before, rising out of the cool morning mist.

Burn – 12th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Forgive the fire the pain
The hand pulls away
You’ve broken down again
Beautiful, in a way

Who you were is worthy
Of the love in your heart
Your mind made up too early
You pulled it all apart

Once the scar has healed
The tears have all dried
The love deserved revealed
Comes from deep inside

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Struggled through exercise this morning as I’m still tired despite a long sleep and my first class was a little difficult to settle down but we all got there in the end.

Today I’m grateful for:

There not being the bad traffic I was expecting when driving home. There are some events going on around the city and surrounds during this month as well as royal visits that close off roads from time to time. But not today! Hooray!

The best thing about today was:

Doing some investigation, planning and discussion with Nampan from SpeechOdd for an upcoming vinyl release. I’m hoping that this will help me get more involved with the scene here in Thailand.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Both my first and last classes were difficult and annoying today but I persevered, having to keep the second class late due to constant interruptions. It doesn’t help that my lessons are designed for two full hours and now we only have 100 minutes.

Something I learned today?

Just as I’m writing here this evening I got a message from Jan wanting me to talk with ****** because tonight she wants to kill herself! Sigh… it’s easy to see how despondent kids can get in the home environments here sometimes.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Talking with Jan and ******, getting information from one and consoling the other.

Offering a helping hand to Freya who is also suffering from depression as well as some physical ailments.

Sharing in the happiness of Mee, who also tried to kill herself last year, but today ran up to me to give me a big hug and smiles, pronouncing that her mum is home from abroad after a long period of absence. Hopefully, this will be enough to turn her life around.

Offering to help out to teach some extra classes since two of our teachers have left recently.

How does my body feel today?

It’s pretty good today actually. I did arm exercises this morning but didn’t feel any after-effects from that during the day, even feeling compelled to do 10 push-ups in the evening. Yes, it’s not much but this weakling old man has to start somewhere and started I have.

After my exercise in the morning, I noticed a sharp pain in my foot like I was standing on a sharp stone. I then just thought that perhaps an ant had bitten me. It wasn’t until I got home after school I found that it was a thin deep cut. I didn’t feel anything whilst wearing shoes at school but in bare feet again it’s painful as hell as every time I put weight on it the cut opens up.

Apart from still aching shoulders after the weekend ride everything else is feeling just about at the normal level of ache for a 56-year-old boy.

I took this panorama picture on Saturday because the whole view was just magnificent. A picture doesn’t do it justice really. No pictures today.