Month: February 2024

Dying Dynasties – 9th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Incapable of relinquishing self-image
Narcissus drowned in his own pool
Flailing wildly at the reality around
The king becomes the fool

Trying to satisfy their own myth
Yet satisfying neither foe nor friend
History shows that for every rise
Every dynasty will surely end

Soon the fall accelerates
Mistakes compound exponential
Rulers rue their overreach
Whilst the ruled realise their potential

A letter from future me (sent 9th February 2023)

Dear FutureMe,

I recently received a letter from PastMe which I had written one year previously. In that letter, it was scout week and Aing and Now were here for Aing’s graduation. And so it is this time, scout week and Aing and Now are visiting again for their friend’s graduation.

Yesterday we went on a walk up to Khun Korn waterfall where I couldn’t help myself and stripped down and jumped into the freezing waters and felt the breath pushed out of my body by the water dropping the ten metres or so onto my head. It felt amazing. I feel revitalised but also tired today.

It was a funny coincidence that for scout week the M3 students were also at Khun Korn so I dropped by and saw them all getting cold, wet and dirty. They looked like they were having begrudging fun.

The future is not clear so I’ll just keep going until I receive this letter and can reflect back on what happened. Amy and I have discussed possibilities such as my going to Australia for a little break and then coming back together. This would be around the end of the year. She is also considering going to work with Mai for a while if she gets pregnant again. She is definitely going to Athens and Santorini in July before coming back to help me with my visa again. We also discussed her return here to maybe teach a little again and think about opening a small cafe/restaurant here. I still hope she decides to do that because that was one of our original plans when moving here. I wonder what the situation will be by the time of reading this!?

The world is open to many possibilities for us, which is a good place to be.

Will I remember the struggle this year of dealing with my troublesome classes? Will it have been any better with my new classes? I hope I have found some strategies for better dealing with it.

I’m also busy being lazy. Reading, watching TV, listening to music. But also spending a lot of time updating 1994ever.com. Not that it will ever be finished but I hope I’m closer to having all the pre-2000s information completed by now. There’s still a lot of stuff to go through.

I’m enjoying life though not quite as much as last year. Right now, I feel a little stuck in an anticipatory wait. Maybe I need to make something happen next. Or maybe it’s just a feeling and not my reality. How am I feeling now?

These letters to myself are not as easy to write as they are to other people!
So with that I’ll be off for now!

Today I’m feeling:

Sick with a cold.  My sore throat was hurting through the night and I woke up with a head full of snot.  I think I’ll not hang out for too long this morning before heading home and finding some medicine, rest and sleep.

Today I’m grateful for:

The pharmacy that was open in the village where I bought medicine for fever, sore throat and itchy nose.  KhaoTang’s mum’s shop was closed today as were a few other places, possibly due to the Chinese New Year.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling very relaxed despite my sickness.  I had nowhere to be and nothing to do beyond whatever I wanted.  I wrote to Rob and caught him up on some of my news.  I’ll try to keep that communication going again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite being hungry, eating was a bit of a struggle.  I didn’t really have an appetite and even though I knew the food was tasty my receptors weren’t getting the message.  I forced myself to eat it all though.

Something I learned today?

China made a microchip that uses light rather than electrons. It is said to be three thousand times faster than its electron equivalent and uses so little energy in comparison that it could last for 500 years before needing a recharge.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  15. Rest Before You Are Tired. Even if you love your job, and every day seems like a holiday, you need to take time to rest. You’re a human and not an android, never forget that.

I love rest but I also hate it.  I lay down too much and spend many hours reading in that position.  I love reading.  It feels like resting.  I like to get things done.  I always like to be lazy.  I push myself too much and my body forces me to stop.  I’m still working on getting the balance right.  Another decade or two and I should be good to go!

I took this picture because I thought these tiny little flowers were cute when I walked around Mum’s garden last week. My mind has been focused on words rather than pictures this week.

A Tropical Wish – 8th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

There is no spring here
Where I’m sitting warm
Tropical thunder
Crashes all year round

No icy mornings
I’ve never felt snow
One day I wish to
Wear a winter glove

To feel warm red cheeks
To see words in breath
A thick winter coat
Wet with cold, cold snow

Like two cats in love
We’ll keep ourselves warm
The bud breaks the bark
I’ll watch in wonder

Shared with Tanka Tuesday – Kigo words ‘cats in love’
10th Nov 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – glove

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired again I think because whatever is giving me a sore throat is just taking a little out of me.  I don’t feel too bad but on the edge and it could go either way. 

I slept relatively early again and got up later, skipping exercise again.  There’s nothing to do at school today as all the kids go off camping and thankfully the high school foreign teachers don’t have to go like the primary teachers do. 

Coffee, writing and reading time and then back home. Hopefully, I can avoid an afternoon nap today though it is tempting me right now.

Today I’m grateful for:

Keeping track of various things over time, with the likes of diaries, emails and archives of things that I’ve kept. 

As I was on the verge of dozing off this afternoon I wondered if it was possible to get access to my old email account, pre-2008?  The idea forced me up and though I soon discovered it was impossible I started rummaging around my old Facebook archive and then even older emails and just reading through a little of those triggered more memories. 

I could even see that I was explaining things in 1998 about something that happened ten years earlier that I have since forgotten!

The best thing about today was:

What I mention above.  It has me excited to dive further into the detritus of my life!

Something I learned today?

A burning ban is due to start on the 15th.  So everyone is getting their burning in now.  It also remains to be seen if anything is actually implemented. 

There was also a newspaper article today which describes the government asking people not to burn so much paper money and incense during Chinese New Year!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I think I have only spoken with two people today.  Amy and Gui.  Not much opportunity for either good or bad. 

I did nod good morning to one of the other teachers when I signed in this morning. 

I gave Tokyo her daily snack for which she is always happy. 

I also replied to an old acquaintance from Sydney who contacted me to say hello and ask for music recommendations.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  14. Learn Every Day. You’ve got to train your brain to stay alert. You don’t have to read a book a day to learn every day. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the people around you—be open to what they can teach you.

I force a lot of stuff into my brain every day and as I find answering ‘what is something I learned today’ is often difficult it seems like much doesn’t stick. 

It’s going in, adding to my overall persona (input and output) but I often find myself in a conversation where I say ‘Oh, yeah I heard about that’ but don’t have the details; or think to myself ‘I wish I could recall the things I read to keep this discussion going.’ 

At least, I’m aware and know that I still know little about anything at all.  That’s why I ask myself every day, ‘What did I learn?’

When was the last time I felt inspired?

I reckon it was last year when I first heard SpeechOdd.  I really enjoyed their music and wanted to work with them.  By the end of the year the opportunity arrived.

In general, I am inspired every day.  I try to write poetry every day and I’m always on the lookout for things that may drive that inspiration and have found a couple of regular resources to keep me inspired.

Imagine – 7th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

In my head
I lost my mind
Imagining red
Colourblind

Absent a shadow
No friend follows
A poisoned arrow
No more tomorrows

No peace of mind
Imagined I
None could find
Or satisfy

Coming back
To my senses
None so black
Beat my defences

Submitted to dVerse

Today I’m feeling:

A little sick with a sore throat and lack of energy.  I skipped my alarm and exercise for an extra 30 minutes of sleep.  I’m hoping not to have to do too much at school today.  I could do with an afternoon nap and I’m saying that now before it’s even 8 am.

(10 am) And there we are, the tipping point.  Lazily wandering from place to place and eventually being told there’s nothing for us to do today.  So here I am back at House for coffee number two.

Today I’m grateful for:

Lots of free time in which I could read, write and learn whilst sipping coffee and then later spending a couple of hours reading comics in bed, where I did indeed, enjoy an awesome afternoon nap.

The best thing about today was:

Hanging out with Michael and David for a little while this morning and then lazily walking from school to where some of the kids were doing the zip-line and we watched for a few minutes, ducked away and walked back again.  The temperature was ok for the most part and once off the highway, the walk was quite pleasant.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The typical dysfunction of Scout week activities at school used to bug me but now I listened to how they bugged David instead and accepted the advantages that we can get from it.

Something I learned today?

Andrew Huberman is into Rancid.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  13. Be Nice. I don’t mean you should be a pushover. You can be someone that doesn’t take shit and be nice about it. Just don’t insult people, think you’re better than them, or act like an idiot.

I’m a lot nicer than I used to be.  I don’t insult people or think that I am better than others anymore but I probably am still prone to acting like an idiot every now and then.  One would hope that we are all a lot nicer than we used to be but then you meet some people…..

I took this picture because these flowers have decided to grow, against the odds.

Beyond The Threshold – 6th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Won’t you let me in?
Open heart, open door
A warm welcoming

Wanting little more
Than a hand to hold here
As we cross the floor

Overcome our fear
Let’s go through together
Our intentions clear

In silk and feather
We find ourselves humming
A friend forever

Won’t you let me….

Fake Flamenco: Thursday Doors

Today I’m feeling:

Like I haven’t slept enough. I could easily curl up and snooze for a bit but hopefully, this coffee will kick-start the morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having things to read while sitting around doing nothing at school this afternoon whilst the Thai teachers were keeping the kids occupied.  After an hour and a half though I snuck out and didn’t bother signing out either.  Hopefully, that doesn’t come back to bite me but Scout week is one of those frustrating wastes of time for us foreign teachers.

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s dinner of fried rice with fish sausage, crunchy cabbage, carrot and topped off with a perfectly fried egg.  Since I started just eating breakfast and skipping lunch I’ve been able to easily adapt to eating rice almost every day at dinner time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite having to show groups of 8-10-year-olds over and over again how to tie knots this morning and itching to get out for more coffee it wasn’t actually too bad.  David and I had fun with the kids, some of whom were hilarious. 

It was interesting to notice how much better their English is than the kids we actually teach who are up to 5 years older.  We finished up at around 11.30 and I was happy to get away by then.

Something I learned today?

From Stephen Fry’s SubStack he talked about how in a group of twenty people, for example, there will be a leader, a clown, a know-it-all, a shy one, a complainer, a rebel etc and then if you take all the leaders and put them into a group, all the rebels into a group and so on, within each group they will soon revert back to having a leader, a clown, a know-it-all etc

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

In the morning I met Waiz’s younger sister who always runs up to me for a fist bump.  I had just been given a scout scarf and asked her to ‘do it’ for me because I wasn’t sure how.  She then folded it up and put it on me as she had been taught to do.  It didn’t look great but I kept wearing it because she had done it for me.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  12. Money Isn’t Important. It really isn’t. But you have to train yourself not to care about money. Don’t become too dependent on the stuff you own; otherwise, the stuff will own you.

Money is important when you want to do things.  As I’ve aged I’m starting to want to do less. 

As I write that I question myself whether that is true or not.  Sure some things have dropped off but I still have stacks of music that I haven’t properly listened to yet.  Years and years worth of books and comics that I wish to read. 

So perhaps I should say that I refined some of the things that I want to do.  I want to read more than travel but hell, I’d still like to travel.  I guess I’m taking the easier path more often these days.  But I also see doing less as more suitable to my age. 

Damn, I’m conflicted with this because I’m always imploring people to do something, to do more!  The dichotomy of life in Thailand is rubbing off on me!

I took this picture because our two boys often spend the afternoons dozing in the boxes on their cat castles, often swapping places depending on who gets there first.

Colourblind – 5th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Every green was brown in his eyes
The trees and grass a blur
Every blue was grey to him
It’s smell he did prefer

The world robbed of its style
Trudging through soviet design
Marvelling at the taste of pink
“Oh this synaesthete life of mine”

 Weekly Prompts Colour Challenge Green

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good knowing that I have no classes this week though can expect a little boredom as I have to spend time hanging out with the primary kids doing Scout stuff. 

The kids are fine but the waiting around with nothing to do is a bit annoying.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to sneak away for coffee and writing after a couple of hours with the scout boys.

The best thing about today was:

Finding out who the girl was in the picture that I took 4 years ago that I thought was Funfai but was a younger student called Sugus.  I found her today when I was helping in the primary department and I showed her the picture and she gave a huge smile and said she remembered that time we took the picture together. 

On top of that, about a year ago I saw a primary school student I recognised in the back lanes of our village and as I rode by on my motorbike I waved and she waved back.  That was Sugus!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Last night I badly hurt my foot on the gate as I was closing it.  I cleaned up the wound and it stung like crazy and I hoped that it would be ok in the morning.  Unfortunately it wasn’t. 

It’s ok to put pressure on the toes but not so much on the whole of my foot which is what I’m doing when standing or walking.  It feels very tender and sore underneath the cut. 

How am I handling it? Grin and bear it.

Something I learned today?

Teacher David is partially colourblind, or very good at pulling my leg.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I got two free bottles of water at the garage when I filled up the car this morning and so gave them to the gardener at school who tends the premises, making everything look nice, whilst spending lots of time out in the sun.

What am I thinking about right now?

The pain in my foot which is bruising up now. It’s very tender around the wound though it got easier to walk on throughout the day.

I took this picture because these tiny red berries stood out in the garden at House this morning.

The Rush – 4th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The race never existed in his world
To hurry something somehow seemed wrong
Never a challenge externalised
Until the hare came haring along

…and what were you like before…

Today I’m feeling:

Sore. My back and knees are complaining after stressing them yesterday whilst cleaning out the sink drain. 

Today I’m grateful for:

The parking guys with their whistles at Makro.  I don’t know why they are necessary or why they blow their whistles so much as it’s impossible to understand if it means anything.  I almost ran the guy over because I had a clear reverse behind me and he was the only thing in the way!

The best thing about today was:

Spending a few hours in my room, catching up on reading, sorting music, downloading and listening and then practising guitar.  I want to spend more time doing this but I still don’t really enjoy being in that room anymore.

Something I learned today?

The average age of a Ukrainian soldier right now is 43!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I followed up with Earn, asking her the same question as I did about six weeks ago – Tell me five things you like about yourself.  Her answers are better than last time.  Less focused on looks and more focused on feelings and emotions.

What is a happy memory from my childhood?

I’ve lots of snippets of memories that are not particularly happy or sad, just things that happened. Some may have felt ecstatic at the time such as playing football at school or tragic like the time I cracked my eyebrow open on the edge of a step but at this distance, they are just events. I consider my childhood to be memories until I was about halfway through middle school, pre-pubescent. After that, I consider myself a teenager until I was forty!

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  11. Lead the Way. When you find yourself in a situation where everyone looks at each other, it’s time for you to lead. You’re a leader when you decide to become one. There’s no initiation or a title. Just a decision.

Before going through teenage depression I thought that I could be a leader.  After that though, I mostly wanted to keep my head down though I still had a selfish streak of arrogance which popped up from time to time. 

Whilst doing DIY punk things in Sydney I never felt like a leader but did hope that I was an inspiration for others and I can think of two friends for sure who did take something from what I was doing and ran with it themselves. 

Now, at school, in Thailand, I consider myself the same.  Not as a leader but as an inspiration.  I want to inspire my students to become the best of themselves.  I don’t work for prizes and awards and I don’t want to be managing other adults.  I don’t want to lead people in such a way as to tell them what to do.  Rather than leading I just want to be doing something. Anything.  Just do it.

I took this picture because this was one of the few super cute kittens that were jumping around, playing and sleeping on this spirit house at the Night Bazaar last night.

Honey Glaze – 3rd February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

The orange sunrise
Perfectly reflected on the blue sky sea
Turning back inland
It’s a destruction from the river to me

Still, I have my god
That promises to set my children free
The skies alight
Where the others’ god wishes to be

The river run dry
Across those borders, we must flee
The honey glaze
Shines so that’s all anyone may see
*The honey glaze
On a fine crust of tolerated misery*

* David Elikwu
5th Oct 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Colour Challenge – Mainly Orange

Today I’m feeling:

My regular Saturday exhaustion though Amy didn’t give me the opportunity to wallow as she had me up and busy as soon as I got up. By the time I got to coffee at midday, I was dying for it.

Today I’m grateful for:

Time spent in the hammock reading about Britain’s colonisation of India. The sun is still a little low so that the remaining trees still give some shade though the ants, spiders and flies did get annoying.

The best thing about today was:

At the winter festival, Amy was shocked at the tiny crop tops at one of the stalls and said ‘Oh my god, who can wear a top like that?’ And as she said that she noticed a girl wearing a similar-sized top and finished off with ‘Oh, a girl like her.’ I looked and saw a small skinny girl looking cute in a tight crop top. And it was then that I noticed that she is one of the grade 11 students that I often talk to. And Amy was surprised to see me fist-bump the girl she was just talking about admiring.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was cranky from the get-go this morning and I came close to losing my cool but took deep breaths and soldiered on through, knowing that at some point it would be over and things would be good again.

Something I learned today?

Word is that the local council want our road widened before the rainy season starts which is good news though it will be a little inconvenient for us for a while.

Though we’ve been waiting for this before Amy starts thinking about doing business on our land it has become apparent that since the end of COVID, most students have not returned to the habit of going out and staying out to eat drink and talk like they used to. Many businesses are selling up due to a lack of customers after 8pm.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Amy asked me to pick up some plumber’s tape to fix the joint under the sink. I was on my way to my first coffee but picked up the tape and took it straight home so that she can fix it quickly.

At times I was short in my replies to Amy as I was echoing her behaviour back to her but I shouldn’t do that.

I took this picture because here was another cat in the window above the eatery next to Utopia. That means at least five cats I’ve seen in this window and I know that there are also two dogs.

Children’s Crusade – 2nd February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Those were times of imagination
We made a house of a broken boat
Cooking up sand in the kitchen
Wondering if this home could ever float

Enemies emerge from the dunes
Duck and cover at the stern
Quiet whispers as they pass
And a wish that they never return

Here we live until it is dark
Our jobs and tasks are all set
Sharing dreams of our little crusade
That we shall never forget

Shared with Crimson’s Creative Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and happy this morning.  A little bit of that Friday feeling despite being a little tired due to a crazy pee dream that was trying to wake me up.  I was so aware that in my dream I was even telling myself that this wasn’t just a pee dream but just that I was peeing in my dream.  I was trying to convince myself to keep dreaming. 

But eventually, it was too much as the bucket I was peeing into starting overflowing even after emptying it one time.  I groggily got up to go to the bathroom hoping against hope that there were still many more hours to sleep but getting back to sleep was difficult because I kept thinking about the dream. 

Predictably, it felt like as soon as I got back into a deep sleep my alarm went off.

Today I’m grateful for:

A few folks taking the time to comment on a couple of poems that I’ve written in connection to some prompts.  I’m at the stage of looking for prompts in other new places for inspiration – though I’m rarely ever short of ideas to be honest.  Just looking for a bit of variety and some more challenges.  By taking part in the prompt challenges it is bringing new people to come and look at this blog, which I appreciate.  I’m not particularly after clicks or likes.

The best thing about today was:

Four hours sitting, writing, thinking, drinking coffee.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Two students, Kwang and Pang, pushed me too far today.  I wasn’t angry and not outwardly upset but they have both shown me a lot of attitude recently. 

I like them both and I’ve tried to help them more than other students and I’m sad to feel disrespected by them after all the chances I’ve given them.  We’re near the end of this semester now and I’ll tell them not to bother coming to my classes because I don’t want them disturbing everyone else. 

I just told them to pack up their stuff and go.  The class was much better after that.

Something I learned today?

Pigs can’t look up into the sky due to the anatomy of their neck muscles and spine.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Nomsen came to class this afternoon looking a bit frazzled and her friends told me that she’d been crying and she quickly covered her face as more tears came.  Without making a fuss I left her to it with her friends.

I was asking students random questions about music and instruments and I came around to her when she had stopped crying but she was obviously thinking about something else.  I was guessing it was about a boy.  She soon asked to go to the bathroom with her friend and I didn’t question it like I might do at other times, thinking maybe she’ll feel better when she gets back. 

They were gone for about 30 minutes I’m guessing, and when they got back they caught up with their work as quickly as they could.  When Nomsen came to hand in her work she seemed better so I asked her what happened today. 

She was quiet at first so I asked if it was about a boy and she shook her head and offered… ‘it’s my uncle…’ Oh no, I thought, maybe he’s in hospital or died, so I said ‘I’m sorry to hear that’ and gave her a hug. 

On writing this I’m worried that she may have meant something else by her comment but I really hope not.  I just messaged her to see if she was feeling better and she said she’s ok.  I hope so.

I took this picture because two new pups were outside the gate this morning and were friendly. Tangmo came running over and lots of play fighting ensured and he got so happy he ran at full pace around the teaching room three times without stopping.

Inflation – 1st February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

You can’t keep your dreams under a mattress
Where they’ll be surely forgotten and flat
They have value worthy of investment
There’s really nothing better than that

First line appropriated and the rest inspired by a thought from David Elikwu’s newsletter

Today I’m feeling:

I woke up tired but was able to easily plough through my abs workout because I had things on my mind. I feel a little in and out of depression too but it’s very vague and dissipates quickly. I think some days I wonder if what I’m doing is actually worthwhile. It happens.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nancy and Aob at TLC for helping me get my visa sorted out since I forgot to get the re-entry permit last October!  Despite the hard time they give me and the amount of money they make off me I still appreciate what they’ve done to help fix this.

The best thing about today was:

Getting another year’s stay in Thailand with my new visa.  Though whilst I was sitting there watching the officer stamp and shuffle papers I started to brood on the fact of how much longer am I going to go through this annoying process. Tomorrow I’ll probably forget about all this until next November when I’ll have to start preparing for the next application again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got the message that next week I have to help in the Primary school for Scout week.  It probably will be pretty easy but not as preferable as doing nothing, or even as a regular workweek. Still, a change can be good.

Something I learned today?

From The Jimmy Dore Show on YouTube:

The Internet was abuzz recently after MSNBC host Joy-Ann Reid, while showing a video of Joe Biden, was caught by a “hot mic” revealing her true feelings about Biden by saying “… starting another fucking war.” 

Of course, Reid would never have intentionally said anything so overtly anti-Biden on the air, so she was forced to apologize, although she only mentioned having dropped the “f word.”

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As I passed Rista after class on the third floor of building six I saw that she had some rubbish to throw away. As I already had my coffee cup to take to the bin I offered to take hers too for which she gave her appreciation.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  10. Pick an Industry, Not A Job. If you want to become good at something, you need to spend years and years doing that. You can’t do that if you hop from industry to industry. Pick an industry you love and start at the bottom. You will find the perfect role for you eventually.

 It seems kind of incomprehensible to me that I would ever have a choice of the kind of work or job I would do.  When I left school at sixteen any job was considered good and a starting point.  There were also more jobs available back then too.

When I started my first long-term job it wasn’t something that I was particularly interested in (electrical wholesale) but I did enjoy the hard work when I was a storeman and did work my way up to be the buyer.  I wasn’t interested in progressing any further though, which would’ve meant becoming a manager.

With the opportunity of moving to Australia, I discovered an interest in computing (beyond just playing video games) and was able to spend a year or so studying for that. Then I got in at a low level and worked my way up and sideways for the next 18 years.  Once again I was not interested in (or offered) a management role.

While working an office job I knew one thing and that was that I loved coffee!  After getting laid off it was a simple step to take courses learning to be a barista or bartender and I got into making coffee until injury stopped me short.

Moving to Thailand then forced me to make the decision to become a teacher because there are only a few things that a foreigner is allowed to do here for work.  With each change of job or industry, I’ve always pushed myself to work hard to learn what I can about it.  Teaching has really tested me but when I get it right I do love what I’m doing.

As I mentioned above though, there are times when I am unsure of myself and can’t balance the effort-to-reward ratio properly in my head.

I feel that the idea of this question is a little privileged.  Many, maybe even most people, don’t have choices a lot of the time and just have to take the opportunities that they can get.