She, little fighting girl walking the woods, The big bad wolves ripped her pretty dress, All her dreams now become a nightmare, She skirts around the pain deep inside her.
He runs wild, teeth and snarl, with big bad wolves, Egged on and eager, salivating so, ripping at her pretty dress, her cries echo into the darkness of his soul.
Inspired after reading Yassy’s poem, the form is apparently a tetracyt. Also submitted to NaPoMo.
Today I’m feeling:
A little stressed with my morning coffee and trying to get my brain in gear with the lesson planning. It’s kicking in slowly and I’m familiar with this stage of progress when I have many, many ideas floating around and can’t keep up with them. The rest of the day has been up and down.
Today I’m grateful for:
Momo making it to lunch today, after she messaged me yesterday that she may not be able to make it. With Popo and Baitong we had a good catch-up over pizza and I’m happy to hear their English improvements since we last met.
The best thing about today was:
Firstly, not having to pay anything for my dental appointment and then trying the pharmacy at Central and finding 50mg tramadol for only 45 baht.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Baipad messaged me this morning telling me that she was in the hospital as she attempted to overdose (which I presume must have been last night).
I didn’t get much more information from her so I’m not sure what brought this on. It suggests something happened out in her family village which is a bit of a worry as she mentioned bad things happening to her there before.
In the evening Anchan messaged me that she too was also in the hospital but for her it was for stomach ulcers, brought on by the stress of her family situation, no doubt.
She also told me that she and her brother also inherited the heart problem that killed her father a couple of years ago.
Something I learned today?
This morning we found that a tile from our roof got blown off in the storm last night. Amy learned that trying to get someone to come and fix it is a complete pain in the ass.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Trying to keep on encouraging Baipad and Anchan through their difficulties.
Treating Popo, Momo and Baitong to a pizza lunch and then playing along with their TikTok videos. It was great to catch up with them, three of my favourite students.
I took this picture because how could I refuse my favourite students asking to make TikTok videos in the shopping mall in front of passing shoppers.
Born lucky, amongst cat’s kisses Brought love and calmly kept But laughing aloud cools kinship Banging loudly and can kneel
Business lull as corporations kaput Broken laws allow constables kvetching Black light awareness, cooly kindhearted Both looking around catching kittens
Pretty good though this heat is a killer. I’ve made an agreement with myself not to complain about it though.
It also seems like last night’s mala upset my stomach a little bit this morning but I should be good to go for the rest of the day?
Today I’m grateful for:
Going to Lost and Found, a new cocktail bar in Chiang Rai, after Amy was disappointed with The Space due to poor service and average food.
The best thing about today was:
Starting organising lessons for next semester. It was a bit of a headache and I only did it for a couple of hours, whilst at Utopia for morning coffee, but it is something that will kickstart my brain again to fill in all the gaps that I need.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When we arrived at The Space we sat outside next to the river but with the humidity and the sun setting suddenly there was a great birthing of insects which usually indicates the coming of rain. Let’s hope so but at this time these little critters were dropping into our drinks, food and clothes. We quickly dashed inside with everything.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
A couple of weeks ago Amy drunkenly said she wished that she had a globe and then forgot all about it – but I didn’t. I ordered one from Lazada that arrived a couple of days ago and left it for her to find this morning. Sadly, on opening the box we found that it was badly packed and the cheap plastic base had splintered a little. So my next task is to super glue it and then assemble it. Amy seemed less excited about it than when she was drunk but never mind. Happy anniversary little Amy!
Whilst Amy was extremely upset at the restaurant I tried to stay calm and enjoy some of the food and quickly picked up that we should leave with haste.
I took this picture because as Amy had checked in at Lost and Found on Facebook, earning herself six free shots!
I’ll play a song for you, in this empty room Spill my heart for no one else to hear And when I reach the end of my tune I’ll turn off the lights and disappear
The memory of my words will stay Reverberating around these cold walls And when you wander by one day You will hear the whisper of my calls
“Be careful what you wish for When hope blinds you to the signs Forgetting that less means more Living the curse of interesting times”
A little slow to get going this morning as I turned off my alarm to sleep an extra hour.
Starting to think about getting lessons in order and writing new ones for my new classes. It’s giving me some good background anxiety but I trust myself to be able to pull everything together.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally being able to book flights to Bangkok and back in May to see Arwith and the bands I’ve been working with.
The best thing about today was:
Eating mala sticks this evening. A simple thing but we haven’t done that for a long while.
It was hot enough, even at 8pm, to sweat when sitting still so eating those spicy sticks didn’t really make much difference!
Something I learned today?
Booking AirAsia flights on the website was giving me trouble but using the app on my phone worked instantly.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Staying in touch with Anchan to try and help her through this time.
Talking with Baipad about dealing with her mental health issues.
Pretty good even though I slept badly due to aching shoulders. I should probably get them checked out as it’s been painful for about six months already.
I got up early so that I could watch the Swans game this morning.
I need to book flights to Bangkok to meet up with Arwith in early May, order a filter for our air purifier and will take Baipad and Butter to practice riding the motorbike again.
In amongst all that I’ll do all the things I usually do too; reading, writing, thinking and planning.
Today I’m grateful for:
My alarm getting me up and into action this morning. I could easily have slept another three hours but glad that I gave myself that extra time to do things.
The best thing about today was:
It’s been a pretty good day all round. It was 41 degrees and the house was like an oven so I spent most of my time in aircon.
I didn’t read or play guitar today but did clear up a backlog of emails.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I got back from coffee I prepared everything to watch the AFL but it wasn’t working, which was unusual. I saw one error about location so I downloaded a free VPN and tried some different locations. None of those worked either but they also didn’t have the option to set the server to Australia.
I checked if the Highlights and Mini Matches still worked and they were fine. But even last week’s full match replays were no longer available.
I searched online to see if there might be some information about this and ended up posting on Reddit. Whilst waiting for any response I found another VPN that had an Australian server and finally, I was able to watch the game (which was an unconvincing win).
It looks like someone else had the same problem too so I guess I need to figure out a VPN to watch full games in future. The one I used, TunnelBear, has a 2G data limit and I’m not sure if that is daily, weekly or monthly. I really don’t want to have to pay for a VPN just to watch one match a week.
Something I learned today?
Butter’s mum came and introduced herself to me and when we got back from riding I also met his dad and sister, Cookie! Great names!
Cookie will start grade 7 at my school next month though I won’t be teaching her.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
More encouragement for Butter and Baipad with motorbike riding.
Butter has pretty much got it already and Baipad improved a little more today too. I think that gave her a mini confidence boost.
I can see from her actions that whatever bullying she suffered when she was younger has really knocked her self-confidence. She is still vulnerable to other people who could easily bully and manipulate her.
I also sent another 100 baht to Anchan.
When was the last time I tried something new?
Although I can’t pinpoint it I believe that I try something new every day. The journey through our minutes is diverted off course consistently. Even the Trumans Show fell apart eventually and Groundhog Day was never actually the same.
But something deliberately new? So something interesting? Not just a new restaurant, a new book, a new poem, a new song to listen to?
How about a new country, a new house, a new job, a new hobby?
Read anything here, there is nothing new and something new on every page.
Write about a time when you laughed uncontrollably.
Back in 1989 (I think) I was thrilled to be outside of England for the first time in my life and playing shows with my friends in Belgium and Holland. I soon bonded with our Dutch host Mark and we would drink, get high and laugh a lot much like any other early twenty-year-olds would.
At this one of our shows, which was an amazingly fun night where Mike, from the New York band Shaved Pigs (who had hung on a bit longer after their tour had finished the week previous) joined us on saxophone for our epic jam tune, there was a radio interview at the end of the evening.
Thoroughly happy and drunk, Mark, who was the interviewer, asked me to recite a couple of poems that I had written that he had seen before.
I think I read The Day The Apples Turned To Poison but hassled for more I was requested to read She Lost Her Virginity To A Worm. The anticipation in the room for this short poem was too much and I couldn’t even get to the end of it as Mark and I were in fits of giggles.
A fascinating radio listen? I doubt very much!
I took this picture because His Majesty was looking regal, watching over the dining room this morning. I’m so glad that he is feeling better this week.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to realise A life isn’t lived if it’s lived in fear Even though we fall we still hope to rise We sure could use a drink down here
The further we go the further back we get* The possibilities only ever feel near Along the way exclaiming ‘Are we there yet?’ We sure could use a drink down here
Wherever this winding river will lead Its waters are more muddy than clear It pays to suffer, it pays to bleed And we sure could use a drink down here
Lazy and happy. Woke up at 10 am and have not been motivated to do much of anything really.
I came across this quote yesterday that I quite liked:
“Delusions believed by billions are still delusions and the truth of one humanity embraced by even one human is still the truth.”
Abhijit Naskar
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally receiving my classes list for next semester. I have a wider range of classes so will have to do more preparation and will start getting into that on Monday.
The best thing about today was:
Eating a bowl of LungChom ice cream. It’s been a year that I’ve been denying myself because it is so nice and I was getting too fat from it, so I’ll enjoy it again now and try to resist falling into any further addiction.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Talking with Anchan breaks my heart. She doesn’t know anything about what happened with her mum in court and is sad, lonely and frustrated in Chiang Mai. I discovered that her mum is in a Myanmar prison which is just a nightmare.
I suggested many things to try and take her mind off her situation but she is in a pretty negative state of mind. She did cry that she should be enjoying her teenage life and not having to deal with all this.
I saw that her and Fah were friendly at the end of last semester so I contacted Fah and asked her to chat with Anchan, just to be a friend. I hope some contact will keep her a little grounded.
Something I learned today?
Bonism – the doctrine that the world is good, although not the best of all possible worlds
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I moved around some plants for Amy and fixed up the vine plant so that it should grow over the empty roof space and hopefully give some natural shade at least.
Mee took this picture sometime last year. I’m pleased that she is feeling better than last year.
Mother, I’m not like you I’m not wise to your ways I’m barely a teen And can see through your plays
Is it better raised like this Or for you to be taken away? When you are gone Where do you expect me to stay?
When Dad died we fought hard To make our way together Until you saw the glitter of gold That turned out to be old leather
Uncle tried a little bit but can’t even manage himself! He just takes ALL the money, I don’t know where ALL I’ve got is INSTANT NOODLES for the rest of the MONTH! Mother don’t leave me here, I know you still care…
A STRANGER came to me today and SPUN A GREAT STORY OF FORTUNE I didn’t know whether to BELIEVE HIM BUT I’VE NO ONE ELSE TO TRUST! I ALWAYS TRIED TO DO WHAT’S RIGHT BUT LOOK WHERE THAT HAS GOTTEN ME!? WITH NOWHERE ELSE TO GO I’LL HAVE TO DO AS NEEDS MUST – Sigh!
…
Mother, I don’t want to be like you I don’t want to be wise to those ways I’m still a vulnerable child at heart But I’ll hold on to anything that stays
Sadly, a situation facing one of my best and favourite students right now, though I have taken the poem where I hope it doesn’t end up for her. Submitted to the Word of the Day Challenge – Vulnerability and NaPoMo.
Pretty good again today. Though the pollution is getting worse I, at least, seem to have gotten over any allergic reaction. For now, anyway.
Today I’m grateful for:
The people who came and removed the roof from our entertainment area so that when the storms come this year the winds should just blow through instead of ripping the roof off. It’s a shame to see it all laid out on the floor to be taken away. That was expensive stuff.
The best thing about today was:
Lazily going about my day getting things done that I wanted to do, with a little bit of everything thrown in.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I ate a weed brownie and started reading about the Boer War and how some folks back then saw the British Empire’s decline in the same exact way that happened to the Romans and as is happening to the USA now.
It’s just wild to watch people (societies) walk into the same mistakes that have happened over the centuries.
Anyway, all that was fascinating until I got to the end of a section and wanted to listen to music. I stuck on some CHROMB! and put my brain into overdrive trying to keep track of what the musicians were doing.
I was happily lost in its madness and was in a trance-like state for the best part of an hour. I think I handled that pretty well then!
Something I learned today?
Wholesome news:
Dozens of Huskies Escape Pet Cafe in China
The barking mad footage from a Shenzhen shopping centre shows the dogs running wild after a customer failed to close the door properly. It reportedly took about one hour to round them up.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I took out the garbage this morning which was easier said than done as our usual dumping area on the road has disappeared with the work going on. Luckily there is another area not far away though.
I unpacked the packages of cat food, put them away in the cupboard and broke down the boxes.
I cleaned out the gutters, urging rain to come and fill them.
I watered the mango tree which is budding hundreds of tiny fruit. Let’s hope some make it to maturity this year.
I took this picture yesterday because the restaurant we went to for lunch had these two coloured grasses along their driveway just like we do. But I kinda like it in monochrome.
Pretty good again. The air is pretty putrid again today. You can taste it, not just smell it.
Today I’m grateful for:
The delivery people who still manage to get our parcels to us from all around the world, despite all the disruptions in our soi from the new road being built. 4 parcels were delivered while we were out.
The best thing about today was:
The air was slightly clearer the higher up the mountains we got but then once up there it was impossible to see any view.
Most of the restaurants and resorts were closed but we found one and enjoyed Akha food and coffee before hitting Charin Pie and LungChom for desserts.
We should get home around 5 pm and hoping the electricity is back on.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In our soi, they are moving the electricity poles today so they cut off the electricity all along. And today it’s forty degrees! No choice but to go out somewhere so we took a lazy drive up to Doi Chang.
Something I learned today?
Anchan messaged me again. She is staying in Chiang Mai by herself as her extended family is working in BKK.
Her mum, who is in jail, will go to court tomorrow and may end up in prison. She sent Anchan some money to take care of herself and some bills but her uncle, whose house she stays in in Chiang Rai, demanded it all off her.
She’s only 14 and has to deal with all this. She is keen to work to support herself and is highly motivated but I’m also worried about her being vulnerable and could easily be taken advantage of.
She’s smart but the offer of good money for selling her body could sway her and I don’t want that to happen.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent Anchan 200 baht to keep her going.
She didn’t want me to send her money and I can’t afford it much either but there is little else I can do. Even emotional support can’t buy her some vegetables.
I messaged some other of my vulnerable kids today to try and keep some dialogues open.
I took this picture because these red buds stood out at this little water feature as we entered Suan Charin Pie this afternoon.
Like time is running away too fast. I should not waste what I have been given. But is any of it worthwhile? Well, it has to be. I convince myself.
Today I’m grateful for:
The man at the bottle shop who put the tray of soda water onto the back seat of the truck for me.
The best thing about today was:
Taking Baipad and her neighbour Butter (another one, a boy this time, though quite effeminate) up to the University to teach them to ride a motorbike.
Baipad struggled but Butter picked it up quickly. It was only after talking with them both a little more I discovered that Butter had learned how to ride a pushbike but Baipad never did. Butter still has a bike so I told Baipad to practice on that as soon as possible. Better she falls off that than a motorbike.
After a few more goes Baipad improved every time but she needs to practice more to get her balance worked out.
Something I learned today?
The current Zionist-enforced famine in Gaza is the highest number of people ever recorded as facing catastrophic hunger. Worse than Darfur, Somalia and Yemen.
Israel teaching the world how to genocide. The irony?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I fixed the hose with the new connector that Amy picked up. Works perfectly again.
Teaching riding a motorbike to a couple of 15-year-olds.
What’s one thing I can simplify?
I have simplified a lot over the last few years. As my main focus now is teaching I think that I could simplify my classes for my students, though more importantly for myself.
Sometimes I overestimate the ability of my students and with the usual disparity of skill levels in a single classroom it is a delicate balance to try and keep everyone happy.
I took this picture because one day these kids will look back and remember when they didn’t know how to ride a bike.
Are you receiving My vibrations, Detecting these Oscillations?
I’ve got a message for you That you’re gonna wanna hear Are you receiving me Loud and clear?
Signals in space Time has come A human race Together as one
I’ve got a message for you You’d better be ready There’s only growing up To keep the ship steady
Are you receiving These modulations? Mind control Manipulations
Message understood You’d better tell everyone That you’re ready For what will come
Inspired by the main story of the Three Body Problem and an allegory for a student of mine who is struggling to grow up to face the future. Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – radio and NaPoMo.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty healthy and active. Amy was out last night with Takky, Hangy and Berm so I had some free time to read, write and watch TV. And it appears to be more of the same tonight too. I want to be productive.
As I jumped into bed last night I caught this thought as I was opening up Telegram to get the latest reports from Rise of the Global South. ‘I read just enough tragic news that the axis of evil inflicts on people around the world to go to sleep with just the right amount of indignation.’
This month usually sees me making some adaptations to things that I do. I deleted a whole bunch of Substack subscriptions. One, because there are other things I want to do with my time and two, I’m sick of reading so much about the dysfunction and lies from and about the USA. It seems like inconsequential news to me these days. It is all so negative and decisive too. It’s not a good impact on the psyche.
I want to focus more on Asia and China as it is more relevant to my location and news is mostly just that – news. No opinions, no vague nonsense masquerading as news. And I also want to avoid news that is constantly comparing the USA and China. It’s kinda moot these days.
Today I’m grateful for:
A quiet day of few plans, all achieved.
The best thing about today was:
Spending some time dinking around in my room, trying to organise computer files, reading and writing, though no guitar playing today.
Something I learned today?
Through some miracle, Ipswich is in the top position in the Championship. It’s super close with Leeds and Leicester in the race too.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I spent some time this morning tidying up our cables along the fence.
I also cleaned out the litter tray and swept the floor in our bedroom.
Pretty good again. Trying not to think too much about the events on this day last year. We go on until we don’t.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to easily find the Chinese TV version of The Three Body Problem. I’ll watch that over the holidays.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to sneak a coffee from 22 Grams this afternoon as we took Cap to get checked at the vet. Still the best coffee in Chiang Rai for me.
Cap’s blood levels are a little high for his kidneys now so we have to get him tested again in a couple of weeks.
Something I learned today?
I think it is at the UN that the USA is always found in breach of rules and they always launch an appeal.
But appeals are never heard so that the USA doesn’t have to follow the rules until the appeal is over.
Why are the appeals never heard? Because since the last two appeals judges retired the USA has blocked the positions of any new ones.
Hmm – and they call themselves part of the rules-based order.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I ordered a 32” globe for Amy as an anniversary gift. I hope it isn’t too plastic and cheap-looking when it arrives.
I took this picture because yesterday the gardeners came and tried to trip our hedge so that we push the fence back up. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple and we’ll ask the builder who is coming to fix the drain in the garage soon.
1994ever 