Month: May 2024

No Succour – 21st May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 15 Comments

A restless nest built from gathered straw
The dead-end grass slight comfort bring
Hungry crackles cackling for more
Long forgotten all the songs to sing

For in this desert of desolation
No succour found at every turn
In those times before desperation
When the early bird caught the worm

24th Oct 2024 – Shared with What’s Going On – desert

Today I’m feeling:

That late coffee yesterday kept me up, running through my head the day ahead today.  Well, I’m at the end of it now and it went well.  I’m ready to sleep though.

My last class finished at 4.30 by which time traffic was bad and it took me a while to get back home.  I forced myself out to my room to practice guitar, which with a few days skipped was very rusty.

Well, it’s another day off tomorrow for some holiday or other so everything’s groovy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The neck fan that I ordered on Lazada.  It is next to useless but at least offers a tiny bit of relief from the humidity.  

Some of the kids are walking around with portable 12-inch fans now.  It’s crazy.

The best thing about today was:

A new class, with a handful of students I knew from teaching previously and a handful of new ones, who I’m enjoying learning their skill level.  

It’s a shame though that many of my high school classes are only once a week.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Kru Pooky uses the classroom that I use today often and she doesn’t use the projector or even her computer by the look of things.  She stuck some paper on the board, right where the image is projected which was pretty stupid if you ask me!

She stays in the room when I’m teaching and I can tell she doesn’t enjoy it because my classes are usually pretty rowdy and noisy and of course, I’m encouraging the students to talk and think as much as possible.  I also spot her looking at what I’m doing in class and I’m actually curious what she’s thinking.

Anyway, I asked her if I could take them down, to which she agreed and I tried as best I could to peel them off cleanly.  The whiteboard is the whole width of the classroom so why would you stick them right in the middle of it?

Something I learned today?

I learned that one of my grade 10 students is actually 19 years old.  She’s from Myanmar and has been in Thailand for two years and has learned some English in that time (better than some that I have taught for even longer than that time!)

Limitation – 20th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

There’s liberation in limitation
Reality cannot be broken but may be bent
Your freedom is in your imagination
Not in the amount of guns or money spent

Everything is a choice to be made
Choose anything and all else is rejected
The reward is in the excellence made
That’s the freedom that you selected

Inspired by Epictetus and this Stoa Letter
16th Oct 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Really lazy this morning with nothing to do except check out and then go somewhere to hang out before going to the airport.

Amy returned about an hour after me last night and had been throwing up. I got her into the room and after a bit of sorting out, she slept. 

Today I’m grateful for:

All the taxi drivers, train drivers and airport folks who got us from there to here. Home again. It’s a massive effort of societal coordination and a privilege we often don’t think about.

The best thing about today was:

I experienced a brief moment of bliss as I balanced the taste of lemon tart and bitter coffee at the Coffee Club at the airport. It was so expensive I made damn sure I savoured it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There was a lot of waiting around today. It’s a bit of a write-off. We weren’t inspired to venture anywhere. I used the time to catch up on reading some poems.

Something I learned today?

Manchester City won the English Premier League. I think it was for a record-breaking fourth time running.

I took this picture at the cafe yesterday because it’s an interesting little statue that caught my eye. No pictures today as it was mostly the insides of hotel rooms, taxis, trains, shopping malls and airports.

Returned – 19th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

I was part of a story that I didn’t understand
From glacial mountaintops, the water ran to the sea
Among green valleys, men farmed and planned
And one day a place was made for me

I saw fun and fire as we flew our kites high
We dug at the soil to see what we’d find
There was a balance we kept as time went by
That ensured the longevity of all animal-kind

We remained assured we knew what we were doing
But our values changed that we gave to our space
Eventually, realising that there was trouble brewing
And we’d no longer be welcome in this place

By the time I understood my part in the story
It was too late to make changes of worth
But the rocks remain in their lonely glory
And all humankind returned to the earth

Today I’m feeling:

A little lazy and relaxed. With nothing much to do this morning, we dozed and lazed until Amy decided she wanted to get out. So we’re off to a cafe for a couple of hours before coming back to get ready for the wedding this afternoon.

Today I’m grateful for:

The old lady staff at the cafe who rode a motorbike a fair few kilometres to get a taxi to come and pick us up. We gave her a bit of extra cash.

The best thing about today was:

The coffee at Little Tree Cafe was awesome, which was a bit of a surprise. Beautiful surroundings, must be a very rich owner, tons of staff and quite a few customers. I guess people want to get away from the city.

We accidentally got dropped off at a house next door to the cafe where the huge room was covered in antique furniture and the lady owner was lounging around listening to jazz. She wasn’t phased that we were looking for the cafe. What a life.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

This cafe we came to is out in the jungle and now no taxi wants to come and pick us up! Waiting

Something I learned today?

Today is Baipad’s sister’s birthday. She’s 9. I think Baipad is a little bothered by how much more affection her sister gets than her.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Was it good or vile that I left Amy with a few of the wedding guests at a bar opposite the venue? Nong Mai dropped me back to the hotel and said she would look after Amy. 

Amy wanted to go off somewhere to carry on but Nong Mai convinced her not to, thankfully. 

Quote

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. ”

— Robert Benchley
I took this picture because Amy was impressed with the cafe and this room in particular.

Smooth Sailing – 18th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Love is a lantern in the sky
Taken by the winds of change
Not knowing which way to fly
Along the jet stream strange

Caught in this whirlwind gale
A vortex within your hold
Around you, I smoothly sail
Balanced by the hot and cold

From trade winds, east and west
We made our world distinguished
The Roaring Forties try their best
But this light is not extinguished

Submitted to WDYS #238

Today I’m feeling:

Exhausted so far. Skipped my alarm and slept deeply for another hour. 

It’s the past week catching up, and it only involved two days of teaching! Thursday and Friday are my busy days now so Saturday will be a regular sleep-in I think.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Na coming to stay at our house to take care of Cap and Tig for the next two days for us.

The best thing about today was:

Ending it being in Bangkok again. 

The weird thing is though, it didn’t seem to take much effort or organising (though admittedly Amy was taking care of all the details for this trip). 

I even got a longer-than-expected afternoon nap that Amy woke me from saying ‘We have to leave in 20 minutes!’

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I took some jackfruit to Baipad’s with the intention of giving it to her mum,  hoping that Baipad would still be sleeping but she was in the shop playing with her sister. 

I gave her the fruit and she said ‘I don’t like jackfruit!’ I said that was fine and to give it to her mum, which she did. 

I will talk to her sometime about thinking about something better to say!

Anchan sent me this picture and I’m happy to see her enjoying life. Her friend is my old student Pompam who is a good kid.

The Scammer – 17th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Your promise was a picture book
Of all the losers that we took
Left without a second look
Relieved of all their gold

Then you left along with my share
I couldn’t find you anywhere
You’d taken the time to prepare
To scam me too!

I guess this is my lesson learned
Just rewards were what I earned
The gift of irony returned
Karma’s kicked me in the butt!

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 48

Today I’m feeling:

Great. Got in a little exercise in the morning and right into it with my classes, armed with a couple of coffees and soon some water, though thankfully the new room I was given has aircon!  Not much of any substance with the classes for now, just a gentle easing in.

I’m thinking that I will also have to get some new lessons together – just based on talks with a few students.  I plan ahead as much as I can but I like to get input from the students about what they want to learn.

Today I’m grateful for:

My new student Sky who helped me get organised for the fact that I will miss my first lesson with her and her classmates on Monday.  I only know her from chatting with her when she was working in the school cafe.

The best thing about today was:

Three of my poorer students really applied themselves today and I was very impressed with their attitude. I also really enjoyed their self-satisfaction when they were able to help others too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Right now, mid-evening, there was a boom outside and suddenly some of our power was gone.  Sounds like some of the dodgy electricity work they’re doing along the road has caused some problems.  We’ve got a little power but it’s fluctuating so we’ve turned most things off for now.

There was a brief storm earlier which has dropped the temperature but it’s still pretty warm.

Nothing much to be done except wait.

Something I learned today?

David McBride blew the whistle on Australians committing war crimes in Afghanistan and now he has been jailed for six years for doing so. There have been no convictions for the actual war crimes.

Australia is also keeping a former US citizen in solitary confinement whilst awaiting extradition – for 16 months already. The charges are fabricated and flimsy at best.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Whilst I was teaching my second class Kru Tang came past and asked me if I could teach a couple of extra hours for one of the classes as their course will finish in July.  I was a little miffed as I already teach more than the other teachers but she said she knew that but was trying to fix a problem.

Anyway, I’m happy to teach so I agreed (it’s only for a few weeks effectively) and seriously joked with her about looking out for me when the time comes, when I’m sure to be in trouble for something or other.

Down And Dirty – 16th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Romans once bathed here
Wiping blood from their beat brows
Spa after sparring
Solsbury Hill looks
Down River Avon Valley
Somerset steam rose
Conscious hearts beating
We ran through these stone warrens
Love in ancient times
Praying at the monastery
A different sacking was done

My first attempt at a Choka, inspired by The Skeptic’s Kaddish and submitted to dVerse’s Quadrille #201: Poems of Place

Fatman report

Today I’m feeling:

Good though a little nervous in the stomach. I think I have my head around how I’m going to do things in my classes. 

I can feel less enthusiasm in the air with everyone this morning as the reality of classes starts to hit.

I have a three-flight climb to my first class too and it was already an English summer 27 degrees at 7 am this morning.

One of the boy students was already smelling off by 9am!  And later in the day I saw David in his class of new grade 7s and the whole room stank of rank teenage sweat, like a changing room after five hours of football.

Today I’m grateful for:

Sometimes speaking up and sometimes keeping quiet.  I told the school that I didn’t want to teach the new Integrated Program until it was settled in and that I also didn’t want to teach the grade 9s this year and so it came to be.

So when I got new classes scattered around the school and more hours than the other teachers, I didn’t say anything and just accepted it.

My first class today was in a new (to me) building and on arrival I discovered that the internet cable and wifi don’t work which is a bit of a problem for the method that I teach, everything being stored on Google Drive.

I sent a message to Kru Mai that this was going to be a problem for the five classes I have in the building and he quickly scouted out other classrooms that I could use back in our usual building and voila – four out of five of the classes solved!

When I told Kru David about this he mentioned that sometimes it’s good to speak up and ask for some things and not just expect it.  He also mentioned that George was not happy that he has to teach the Integrated Program now.  He’s had it good for a long time but as soon as something is not to his taste he’s getting antsy.

The best thing about today was:

After my first two classes I managed to get back to House for a coffee refill and sat down to do some writing.

I noticed a pretty young lady studiously working on her iPad in the corner in amongst a lot of people coming and going – probably the busiest I’ve ever seen the cafe.  Some days I might be the only customer all the time I’m in there!

Later the lady got up and as she came to the counter, caught my eye and I thought I recognised her so gave a little smile and then when she smiled back I realised that it was Pear, who used to work there.  She has changed her style a lot but I could easily recognise her smile.

She was studying hard to pass a university entrance exam as she has taken a five-year gap year!  I could sense that she wanted to talk and indeed, she sat down and said that when it comes to English she could read and write easily but doesn’t have much opportunity for speaking.

Actually her listening and understanding is good too and when speaking she can find the words in her head most of the time but it is interrupting her flow.  I could feel that she is driving herself to improve so I stopped what I was doing and we chatted until it was time for me to go.

Something I learned today?

I learned bits and pieces about my new class of 41 grade 12 students.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

After I finished my classes I sent Pear a piece of text to practice reading for me so I could help her more with her speaking.  She replied quickly and I sent a couple more and I will help her when I have free time.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

Motivating tired sweaty students at the end of the day was a challenge and I have three days where classes end at 4.30 pm but it’s looking more likely that I will have to end them all at 4 pm most of the time, which is fine by me!

When was the last time I felt misunderstood?

I can clearly remember thinking that I was being misunderstood by Amy about something that we were quarrelling about but I seem to put quarrels out of my mind (whilst subconsciously learning the lesson of the argument!) so that now I’ve forgotten what it was even about!

Dodging A Bullet – 15th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Never not the same, always
The same, the stubborn stays
Beating chests, off with the shirt!
Myself may be all I hurt

A little bit unusual, quirks
Quietly, and in the corner lurks
Watching, loving the success
At being the worst, being the best

A screw-up, never succeeded
At joining in, as normal receded
Into the dark, I remained on my feet
Offbeat, walking my own street

Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – Offbeat (hence making the phrasing a little off!) and inspired by another entry there from A.M. Moscoso

Today I’m feeling:

A bit better again today, maybe at 85%.  Struggled getting to sleep last night, maybe because I had slept so much the day before, thinking about classes and students and how things slowly change.  I miss all my students in one way or another.

Today I’m grateful for:

Firstly, to the uni students at the PTT station who tried to help me put air in my bike tyres.  Unfortunately, I think I fucked the tube by riding it there in the first place so nothing worked for it.

Secondly, to dependable 100-year-old uncle who replaced the tube for me, jabbering away at me about things, indicating that the tyre on the bike is too small.  I didn’t want to remind him that it was him that put it on there!  He also said that he could replace the starter battery but I told that that would have to wait until next month when I have more money.

Talking of which, the SpeechOdd/High Voltage records are due to be sent to me from the factory in Taiwan and I’m hoping not to get hit with too much customs tax.  I also still have to pay for the cover printing too.

The best thing about today was:

There was a very good atmosphere around the school today for the last day before cracking down to studies.  

Even though I could’ve gone home at 9 am I went to the cafe until midday doing some writing and lessons and then went back to school where I was greeted by students everywhere I went, I guess as I know many different students from grades 8 to 12 now.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It was an ominous sign when arriving home to see two trucks from our internet provider out on the road and sure enough, there’s been no internet at home again since the afternoon.  

Time to read or catch up on other things instead.

Something I learned today?

A jiffy is an actual unit of time, defined as 1/100th of a second.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I met Fui by chance at House this morning and he told me about a school in Bangkok that his son passed the exam to enter so I got the details and passed them onto Anchan.  She would have lots of hurdles to face to pursue this option but at least she can be armed with information.

I complimented Kru Mai on his outrageous shirt today!

What emotions do I feel when I think about my future?

At the moment I feel pretty calm even though the future is uncertain about which direction it may go.  I’m calm because I think I can deal with it whatever happens.

These days I get more stressed and disconsolate when I think about the futures for my students.  I was thinking about this when I was talking to Fui today in connection with Anchan.  A smart kid who knows that she needs to get out from where she is to improve her future but can’t afford to.

When you are struggling to afford new uniforms or lunch day to day, you can’t even consider going to Bangkok to take a free entrance exam for a better school (and think about even cheap fees and cheap accommodation – anything above 0 baht is out of reach.)


I took this screenshot from a video because iPhone called me over to be in the background of her video that she posted on Instagram. She didn’t let me down gently when she said that I won’t become famous!

Accord – 14th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Agreeance is harmony
Connected in symmetry
She and he, they and thee
It’s the you and me
The we,
Written in accord

Submitted for Reena’s Xploration Challenge #330

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty rough this morning, starting at around 60% I guess and now, in the evening back to around 80%.  I will skip exercising in the mornings this week and start again next week instead.  

We start teaching our classes on Thursday.  

It was freaking hot walking around school today and I have a lot more walking between buildings than before too.

Today I’m grateful for:

Spending a little time with Kru Ren, chatting about the new program that he is supposed to be writing lessons for but which he hasn’t even started yet because he’s just not sure what he’s supposed to be doing!

The best thing about today was:

Getting my head around how everything will work for me this semester.  There will be some challenges ahead, some teething problems but I’m sure I will settle in pretty well.  

I found and printed some fun activities from the Twinkl downloads on Sunday and hope they go well.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I ran out of A4 paper to print on in the main office and when I asked someone there for some more they only gave me a few sheets.  Even though I couldn’t finish what I wanted I decided not to get bothered by it and will find some paper somewhere else to print with tomorrow.

Something I learned today?

JubJib told me where building 8 was this morning and I explored it to see the rooms that I will be teaching in there.  They are a bit rough but I’ll do my best.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I rescued a dragonfly in the kitchen.  After what must have been a frustrating few hours for it, it settled on my finger and I walked it outside to freedom.

My vile deed:  I appropriated an ethernet cable from one of the classrooms to carry with me as I’m never sure of the Wifi access in each building and don’t trust its stability.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

I’m suffering a little with the heat as I’m getting used to wearing long pants and long sleeves again.  If I was feeling 100% I would be ok but as I’m a little under the weather it was a bit of a challenge today.

King For A Day – 13th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Arrogance is not self-confidence
The tall poppies will get cut down
A chest swollen with pride will get
Snuffed out, rubbed out into the ground

Because there’s always someone bigger
The kings come and go each day
What is that high opinion hiding?
Always causing offence in this way

Second attempt at writing an 8-line poem about what offends me. I avoided pronouns in this and was trying to put myself into the position of being offended by something but it didn’t quite work out.
Submitted to FOWC – Arrogant

Today I’m feeling:

Really sick. I woke up in the middle of the night, having to run to the bathroom a couple of times. Then after waking up, I had to go again and then threw up too. 

I went to school but decided to come back quickly and got back into bed, getting up again at 5 pm.

Hopefully, I can sleep tonight and feel better tomorrow.

Today I’m grateful for:

Royal-D electrolytes and carbon for calming my guts and replacing things that evacuated.

A Seed Of Sympathy – 12th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Why does the devil drink?
Is he no longer happy
With our eternal suffering?
Has he grown a seed of sympathy?

Why does the devil drink?
Perhaps he suffers alone
We can’t be happy all the time
And that brimstone must irritate the nostrils!

Why does the devil drink?
Because his book didn’t sell that well?
Always seen as the bad guy
When he’s just doing his job

Why does the devil drink?
Does he want to forget past love
That keeps him awake at night
Tossing on his skull pillow?

Why does the devil drink?
Because too much is not enough?
Are hot tempers calmed
After too much banging on the bone drum?

Submitted to No Theme Thursday

Today I’m feeling:

A bit tired again, maybe from mentally preparing to get back into it with the kids again tomorrow.  I’m excited to see everyone again.

Today I’m grateful for:

Twinkl having a free download day for their whole site.  Perfect timing!  I got a stack of role-play and conversation starters that I can go through and see if I can use in my new classes.

The best thing about today was:

Spending time out in my room, clearing out emails, writing and reading, sorting out files on computers and online and probably the top thing was playing guitar with the new strings that I put on yesterday.  Sounds good again!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Our internet connection got fixed but it still seems a little shaky.  I’m struggling to download some of these things from the Twinkl site because it’s so slow.  I’m trying to handle it with patience! Mostly!

Something I learned today?

This morning Noey told me about a nice breakfast cafe in the city which had sourdough toast with avocado and smoked salmon. I’ll try it one day. It’s called In Am’s Kitchen.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I helped Amy with moving a big cactus from a pot to the ground but it was very clumsy and awkward. Hopefully, it doesn’t get blown over whilst waiting to get some deeper roots.

What have I been reading lately? 

I’m two-thirds through Charles Shaar Murray’s Shoots From The Hip, today reading about The Boomtown Rats and Guy Stevens.  It’s a nostalgic read about the wonders of the music business.

I’m halfway through The Decline of the British Empire, which is an amazing read but requires extended periods of concentration that I haven’t been making enough time for recently.

I’m still in the early stages of Goodbye 20th Century, the Sonic Youth biography but I’ve been skipping that and reading plenty of comics instead, 2000AD (still 21 years behind on that!), Judge Dredd Magazine, ALL of the New 52 comics (only up to 630 of 2500 comics so far!), Volume 1 of Shadowman, Heavy Metal (still in the 1978 issues – some of them are hard going) and I want to start Lucifer and 100 Bullets when I’ve finished Shadowman, Stray Bullets too.

I also have 4 books open on my laptop that I’m dipping into every now and then.

I took this picture last weekend at Chatuchak weekend market as there were plenty of tunnels of books to explore. No pictures today.