Wound tight, played precise A night fight, all that jazz Voodoo spell, doll will dance Deadside hell and razzmatazz Pagan sages, a ragtime roll Inner rages in shadow hours Pinprick pain, man divided Ridden insane by fiendish powers
Still a little dusty and vague. Predictably, last night I didn’t sleep well as indigestion bothered my stomach and the oysters bothered my guts.
A really vivid poop dream got me out of bed as the oysters decided to make their early exit and it was a struggle to get a good deep sleep after that.
Today I’m grateful for:
Starting to feel normal again this evening. Even early this afternoon I could still taste Friday night’s whiskey in my mouth. This evening I seem to have my energy and motivation back after pushing through with a few things this afternoon.
The best thing about today was:
Sorting things out this afternoon for the Bennu 12” release and the upcoming MPC CD, downloading some comics, listening to some tunes and playing a bit of guitar. I have to try and force myself into my room this week to play some more. No book reading again this weekend sadly. I really want to read more but seem more invested in YouTubing. I’m going to turn off the video I’m about to watch and read instead.
Something I learned today?
Watching the Swans mini-match I found out that we lost by one point in a poor game. Hopefully, it keeps us from being complacent.
The following is a letter from July 17, 2023, delivered today from the past
Dear FutureMe and FutureAmy,
Today is 17th July 2023 and Amy has just come back from Australia for one month and has whizzed around cleaning the house and getting it up to her standard of cleanliness.
Of course, she will have to clean it again when she comes back again in October!
Writing this today I feel quietly hopeful that Amy will be able to find herself again in Thailand. The onset of the pandemic at the end of 2019 really disrupted our plans to do some kind of business on our land or somewhere in Chiang Rai.
I think we all went a little stir-crazy being stuck at home so much, though for me I am quite comfortable sitting back and enjoying our little paradise.
I hope by the time this letter arrives that Amy hasn’t run off again to another part of the world in frustration. But whatever has happened I will support her. I have resolved to stay here and see out the lives of our cats and I am fine with that, whether Amy is here or not. Wherever she is in the world I can feel her with me. I want her to be happy.
When you receive this email it will be your birthday my little moo. I never know what to get you because I have already given you all that I have. Know that wherever you are, you have all my love.
Happy Birthday for another year, little Amy Love you, Shauny
Today I’m feeling:
A bit dusty after my first night of drinking this year. I fell asleep in my clothes last night, half expecting to be dragged up again. At some point, I must’ve undressed as I was naked when I got up at 10am with a whiskey mouth.
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff at La Favola who took care of us tonight for Amy’s birthday dinner. We had a great time, overloading on their buffet, especially the oysters.
The best thing about today was:
Besides late morning coffee and dinner, the rest of the day was mostly spent either sleeping or reading in bed.
The best thing was going out for a fancy dinner and having a good feeling of being together tonight.
Something I learned today?
The AFL usually quickly puts up videos of the last two minutes of very close games and I happened to see that there was one for the Swans game today which is a bad sign. Did we manage to scrape by or just lose? I’ll find out tomorrow.
A sip on a brandy to warm before bed All the weekly beers still kept in the shed Put on another log to keep the fire burning The grandfather clock chimes our time turning
Another Sunday roast, all sat at the table A quiet word for all being so grateful Once were children running around playful Suddenly, time passes and no longer able
Inspired by Existential Comics 249 and my own formative years living at my grandparents’ house.
Today I’m feeling:
Great (once I got to school). I skipped exercise this morning and opted for an extra 30 minutes of rest.
Most of this week I’ve been waking up a little before my alarm but today was a sudden jolt and I took the lazy option. I know that I could’ve pushed through but thought that tonight I would not be able to relax so much as friends and family will be over to celebrate Amy’s birthday.
Once at school, there was a very good feeling as students prepared for Teacher’s Day to pay respect to us (though us farang teachers are not particularly included).
Baipad was back at school and happily showed me all the videos that she had taken at Chiang Mai Zoo. When I commented that she wasn’t in any videos or pictures she said that she didn’t like having her picture taken. I was like that too at her age but wish that I had more photos of myself from then.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the well wishes that I got from students throughout today, for Teachers Day.
The best thing about today was:
Dutchie asked me if he could call me P’Shaun instead of Kru Shaun. I didn’t think much about it at the time and said to call me anything except Lung Shaun!
P’ indicates something along the lines of older brother whilst Lung is uncle (usually associated with being old).
I wonder what their thinking is behind wanting to call me this but I’m taking it as a positive, that the kids feel that I am more a brother than a teacher.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
We had a nice big party that Amy told me she finished at 3.30 am. I crashed at around 11 pm I think, after having my first alcohol of the year, opening the Glenfiddich that Amy bought for me last year. The party meant I didn’t do any writing until now (Saturday morning) sitting at Utopia.
Something I learned today?
Bruno talked with Takky about applying for a bachelor’s at MFU. I wonder if he will follow through.
What is my favourite time of day?
My favourite time of day is usually the one that I’m in.
I try to make the best of whatever the situation may be. Getting up early for school or to travel, staying up late to read or watch something interesting. Stinking hot in the classroom or in an air-conned room.
Day or night, it’s all alright.
August took this picture because she called me over to play selfies.
I dreamt of many unknown friends Their benefits, my dividends Satisfying emotional needs Together, mind and body succeeds
When the pieces of the puzzle fit Combined along with opposite A touch is more real than money Pay the piper for a pot of honey
A delicate and delicious dance From sultry look to seditious glance So on this mental canvas paint A horse to ride without restraint
Sat in saddle; sound, secure Found the fun worth looking for Before the ride, one last check From tippy toes up to the neck
The rhythms of night relish to move From furious and fast to slow and smooth On the corner, shouts “I’m coming home!” Imagination ensures I’m never alone
Always welcome in this house to stay The dream, the wish to forever play Able to ignore all consequences Maintain in my own confidences
The dreams of which I’ll never tell Are memories where I often dwell
Despite spending a total of four hours at House today and constantly thinking there was something that I should do, then remembering and immediately forgetting, so it was I forgot to write anything here until now, in the evening.
All was smooth and good today with my first two hours freed up now. On arriving for my first class my students begged me that they wanted to go and watch their classmates in a dance competition at Kotchasarn. As there were 4 of the class involved there and about another ten also missing, preparing for the Teachers Day tomorrow, I decided it would be best to acquiesce on the condition that they do the writing work that I had planned before our class next week.
And so I went over and watched the competition for a little while by myself, as dance groups from various local schools competed for the chance to go on to the Provincial level competition.
It was a good atmosphere and I met August and we chatted about the competition and also whether we had anything like this when I was in school, which we didn’t. I guess in many ways the school I teach in is more progressive than the one I studied in.
In the end, I really only had to worry about my final class of grade 8s today and they are familiar with my requirements now as we do the same practical exercise twice a week just with different texts. It being the last hours of the day they know that the sooner they get down and finish my work then the sooner they can leave.
Today I’m grateful for:
Word of mouth. That’s how I found out that Teacher’s Day is happening tomorrow. It’s only now, in the evening, that Kru Mai has confirmed all the details for me and I will have another free two hours tomorrow morning. Hooray.
The best thing about today was:
Enjoying the atmosphere at the dance competition and then bailing after an hour, before my students had even performed, so I asked another student to send me a video later and I would give them points in class.
A little later the video came through and they performed really well and I sent them a message of congratulations.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I did get out into my room and played guitar for the first time this week. Unfortunately, it was for less than ten minutes though as I was busy sorting out other things.
Something I learned today?
Baipad sent me a picture of a fennec fox from her visit to Chiang Mai night safari. It looks like a kitten or puppy that hasn’t grown into its adult ears.
She was a little disappointed that she didn’t get to see any red foxes which are her favourite.
I took this picture of five of the dancers today. I recognise Neung but not sure if the others are in my class or not. The girls especially look almost unrecognisable when they dress up. Even Sarah, who I joke and play with every day made herself up and got some hair extensions and I wasn’t sure who she was when she started talking to me!
This Island Under night Skies a-blazing Rows and rows of homes Turning to ash and dust Maui, Hawaii – on fire No rescue until it’s too late There’s money to be made rebuilding This island under night skies a-blazing
Destruction and death Build back better, U.S.A. Casino waiting
The Country of the Blind. – Stanzas 1 and 4 by C.S. Lewis
Hard light bathed them and a whole nation of eyeless men dark bi-pedals, not aware of how they were maimed A long process, clearly a slow curse drained through centuries Left them thus
If a man, one that had eyes a poor misfit, spoke of the grey dawn, or the stars or green sloped sea waves Or admired how warm tints changed in a lady’s cheek None complained he had used words from an alien tongue None questioned. It was worse. All would agree “Of course.” Came their answer “We’ve all felt like that.” They were wrong.
……………… 1. What is Lewis saying? 2. Here he compares the poet to the masses who believe they have experienced the same feelings. Why does Lewis say they are wrong? Look at the first stanza. 3. What are your feelings in comparing the poem to society, today?
This has taken me a while to get to as I prefer to spend my time writing over analysing. Slowly I am starting to appreciate analysis though so as to better understand what a poet might be saying.
So, today I finally came back to this and interestingly I read this quote this morning which seems along similar lines:
That showed me in an instant that not by wisdom do poets write poetry, but by a sort of genius and inspiration; they are like diviners or soothsayers who also say many fine things, but do not understand the meaning of them.
– Socrates, The Apology
To attempt to answer the questions…. 2. Lewis says that they are wrong because society as a whole blindly accepts what it may be told. (Does this connect with the phrase ‘the one-eyed man is the king of the blind?). 3. In comparing the poem to society, I can see the parallels but as a poet, I prefer to consider myself with the man with eyes. But then, maybe individually, we all do that. And thus we end up with society. Individually thinking and believing different things and collectively believing the same things.
And I think that answers question 1.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good again. I forgot to write anything this morning as instead of spending the first six hours of the day at the cafe I decided to sit with my old class and help some of them with their work though I also took advantage of this time to make some future lessons.
Sitting in that class made me look at the kids a little differently. I could see that they were more attentive to the Thai teacher and understood more (obviously). They still struggled when it came to answering questions and their comprehension but it made me feel a little more sympathetic with them.
The work Kru NumNim has been giving them is from the British Council and I decided to take it and reuse it for my reading classes with them. I’m hoping that they at least remember some of it and can draw on their learning in this class when it comes to doing it again in mine.
At House, I sat, read and wrote as usual and now felt that 4 hours was an ok amount of time to spend doing that, instead of the six hours of the previous couple of weeks.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the folks who ensured that my records arrived safely from Hong Kong.
The best thing about today was:
Everything again. It was consistently good from morning alarm, exercise, breakfast and driving to school to getting home, sitting back and watching videos.
I’m also feeling a little relief at having fewer hours to teach tomorrow than before too as another two hours got passed on to another teacher.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The parcel of Bennu The Heron records arrived yesterday but I had to go and pick them up from the main post office and pay 700 baht tax on them which is just about the end of my money for the month.
Still, it was better than paying what Amy originally thought was 4000 baht. If it had been that much then I would have sent them back.
Something I learned today?
I found Yurin sitting by herself today and she looked up at me sadly and said ‘No friends’. I talked with her for a little while and she said that she was quarrelling with Dena and Earn though I’m not sure about what. I told her not to worry and maybe it will all blow over.
Later I caught up with Dena and she said that Yurin was always causing drama and everyone was sick of it. Actually, I’m not surprised at this as Yurin was always causing problems in the first semester of grade 7 when she was hanging out with Hyper, who eventually got taken out of school by her parents. Somewhere inside, Yurin has some conscience, though sadly, I don’t think the future holds much positive for her.
Praew told me that she won’t be in school tomorrow as she has to go to hospital and when I asked her why, she explained that she has to get new medicine for depression.
I asked her how she felt after taking the medicine and she said that she felt better but it also made her more anxious. I noticed before that she has shaky hands. She’s a bright and funny girl and I wouldn’t have guessed that she was taking medicine for depression.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I told Praew that she could talk to me anytime if she wanted.
For the last couple of days, I’ve been trying to encourage Baipad to do something kind for her friends. Yesterday she offered up that she lent her lip balm to her friend.
But then I asked her to do something intentionally kind today and she was stuck.
When I saw her in the morning she and all her friends were all just sitting playing games on their phones, with barely any interaction between them.
She told me that she will go to Chiang Mai tomorrow so I reminded her that she could buy a nice gift for a friend or something like that. Let’s see if she does!
I took this picture because Jin demanded it. Ueang and Jin, busy avoiding study.
A little tired and gloomy, due to the weather and grey skies. Everything is fine, it just looks a little off. I have heavy eyes, perhaps from staying up too late last night.
Today I’m grateful for:
My umbrella, or more specifically for thinking of taking my umbrella with me from the car before my second class. It pissed down about twenty seconds later.
The best thing about today was:
Writing what felt like a pretty good poem in between my two classes today. I struggled for any inspiration earlier in the morning.
Something I learned today?
Julian Assange is finally free.
A lot of the grade 8 girls got a cervical cancer vaccine today and I only found out when I saw Palm crying and when I grabbed her shoulders to comfort her she started crying more!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
This evening I messaged Palm to see if her arm is ok now.
Armed with my umbrella I offered to share it with Ploy and Kaem as they were stuck in the canteen until I came along. We all still got pretty wet though!
I took this picture last week because Tangmo brought along a friend one morning. Very friendly but completely subservient to Tangmo. They love running, rolling and play fighting.
Said with a smile, hand over fist The beating you deserve said with a kiss Hormones kicking in, take a licking The beating you deserve, hand over fist
Given an inch, you’ll take a mile Can you hold your nerve and smile?
Medication kicking in, it’s a kiss in Given an inch, you’ll see what’s missing The beating you deserve, hand over fist Say it with a smile, said with a fist
Like time is running away. I got up and exercised as normal, sat down to eat breakfast and already could see that it was a few minutes later than I thought.
On the roads, it was already busy and took me longer than usual to get to school. I tried my best to be patient in the traffic!
So now I’m sitting with my first coffee, aware that I don’t have too long until my first class, only a short break until my second and then I’ll be dashing off home again. I could do with another day of just sitting around watching videos at home.
Today I’m grateful for:
The old ice cream in the freezer that I finished off. I’d forgotten we had any left and I fancied something sweet after Amy’s amazing dinner, a delicious fake meat crispy pork.
The best thing about today was:
My grade 12 class telling me that they had to go off and do something for the last hour of my class with them, meaning that I could get an extra hour at House with another cup of unrushed coffee.
It was also convenient as the lesson I had for the class was a little too short.
Something I learned today?
I heard Fiery Furnaces and Between The Buried and Me for the first time today. Pretty interesting, the two tracks that I heard though, I’m starting to think about how much time I take to listen to music and how much I already love and how much more I want to try and discover.
I can’t help myself searching for new music but I already have a stack of stuff available that I don’t spend time trying to enjoy.
I took this picture because another year goes by and the dragonfruit flowers again but will we get any fruit?
Can we grow? Help each other know The best is ahead; let’s just start with better It’s the knowing when to come and go Through thick and thin together
Twenty years with no exchange When we didn’t need each other Resumes without feeling strange Wherever you are, I’m your brother
Written for an AllPoetry assignment analysing friendship
Today I’m feeling:
Reasonable. I reluctantly got up with my alarm as my neck was sore but opted out of any exercise and after a shower went out for coffee. I wanted to be productive today so didn’t dilly-dally too much and when I got home I went to my room and caught up on some emails and a little bit of writing.
After lunch though I couldn’t help having a little nap but when I woke up I forced myself back out again to play some guitar.
The rest of the afternoon and evening have disappeared with some YT videos and helping some students with reading.
Today I’m grateful for:
Rain! Finally. Though it didn’t last much longer than 30 minutes and afterwards the humidity set right back in.
The best thing about today was:
Finishing my first erasure poem. The words came out well but the overall look is a bit messy. I need to study what others have done and get ideas from them.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I wanted to read more of my book today but watching videos won out.
Something I learned today?
There was a cosplay event at Central today. Baipad told me that she was going to check it out. She was a little disappointed that it wasn’t bigger but Chiang Rai is still a small city compared with Chiang Mai or Bangkok.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I took some of Amy’s cookies to Utopia for them to try. I didn’t think much of it at the time but when I stepped back in home Amy had already received a message from Art wanting to order some! Amy was convinced that I did it just to try and get her busy at home but I laughed and she was being good-humoured too.
Later in the afternoon, she started working out how much they cost to make and what she could sell them for.
I took this picture because our neighbours were chilling this morning.
Got a head barren of motivation What’s said only delivers frustration Not dead but denied inspiration Get it together or you’re done!
Emo-driven tears an aberration Forgotten fears sudden implication Perspective clears internal narration You got skills but the bills are due!
Each turmoil treads towards education Lessons learned have no expiration Third eyes open to the realisation Time to shine because the rains will come!
Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 53 and inspired by one of my students who is trying hard at school but is close to getting kicked out.
Today I’m feeling:
Woke up tired but got going with Utopia coffee. Game was there and commiserated with me when I told him and Art that I couldn’t hang around as Amy had me quickly home for us to go to meet Mei and Hagan for lunch. I still managed to get a little reading in though, starting Rip It Up And Start Again again.
Today I’m grateful for:
Mei and Hagan for shouting us lunch at Mo’s (near Mae Sai). Good food and good catch-up, probably the last before they head back to Australia.
The best thing about today was:
Whilst out in the village in the evening I went across to the 20 baht shop, which was closed in the morning, and picked up some batteries and a door closer. I saw that KhaoThang was sitting in her mum’s shop so I went in and chatted with her and her mum for a minute.
Her English pronunciation is awesome now, though her vocabulary is still limited as she studies in a Science program rather than language.
They told me that they will close the shop in December and mum will go to a temple in Phan and KT will stay in a dorm near her school (Tessaban 6). She’s only 14 but its quite common here. Good luck to them both.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Somehow it feels hotter than it did in summer. It still hasn’t rained, two weeks now, so our new gutter is still untested.
After the first rain, a month or more ago, it felt cooler and refreshing and now the temperature has remained the same but the humidity seems to have skyrocketed. It’s pretty tiring but despite some huffing and puffing, I’m still trying not to complain out loud.
The heat did stop me from going to my room today though. I could’ve still gone but I couldn’t even really face getting up out of the air-conned living room to get a drink of water.
Something I learned today?
I came across a Roy and HG documentary and it made me reminisce a lot about my early years in Australia and then even more so when there were clips of The Dream which was the show they did during the Sydney Olympics. That was still a memorable prime time in my life.
I found a load of videos on YT which I stuck in the queue to watch at some point.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Around 7pm Amy wanted to go to the market to get some soy milk, implying that I had to ride her there. I still didn’t want to get out but eventually, I did.
I took this picture at Mo’s because I finally remembered to take some pictures today. I knew this one was going to look good when I took it.
My lizard eye spies surprise Sideways sly spy in the skies Explain a name, much the same A play for fame explains the game
To beat the heat or face defeat You gotta cheat the play complete I did the do in watching you So talk me through the dimmest view
Before there’s more along the floor See what I see, saw what I saw Split decision at the supervision I got television with precision-vision I got an eye on you
Not as tired as I usually am by Friday which is pleasing. I’ve already done my morning classes again and they went pretty well. Just my lively grade 8s to go and then off home again.
Today I’m grateful for:
The last drips and drops of my pay cheque that allow me to buy my yoghurt, that should tide me over until next month.
I don’t have enough money to pay for Amy’s birthday dinner now and have to figure out a way to get the credit card out of her wallet on the night without her noticing!
The best thing about today was:
The many interactions with students again, mostly mine but also a few new ones that wanted to talk.
Days like this make all the effort I put in feel worthwhile. I feel like any little small interaction is helping these kids in some way.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I have a sore spot right on the end of my tailbone. I’ve had it before and maybe it was at the same time last year. It feels like dry skin that has maybe split. It could be from spending more time sitting on hard wooden chairs or from doing more exercise at this time of year. I’m not sure. It’s more annoying than painful.
After my first class, I walked past the classroom where George was with the grade 11s that I also teach. The kids were mostly sprawled out across the floor asleep and George sat at his desk engrossed in his phone.
Well…. That’s not a great look in my book but whatever. It seems most of the Thai teachers don’t care either. But I feel at least a little bit responsible for giving these kids as much as I can, whether they would prefer to sleep or not!
Something I learned today?
China just found a cure for Type 2 diabetes and the USA wants to stop their citizens from getting access to treatment by blocking US scientists from working with Chinese Pharmaceuticals.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Aida was looking a bit down again today and she said that she has a falling out with a couple of her friends in the class. I encouraged her to not overthink things and that it may already be ok again by next week.
I can feel that she thinks quite deeply about things and maybe focuses too much on the negative.
I took this picture because these fruits (or nuts) caught my eye as I got out of my car after a quick lunch coffee.
1994ever 