Month: July 2024

Shine The Light – 11th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

These are ghosts
White
With bloodied teeth
Dead
Inside the cold room
Shiver and sweat, feel along the walls
Water
Drip……drip…..dripping in tears
Into a puddle
Of blood muck
Sticky in the dark
Fear and fumble for the exit
A midnight moon, it’s way past bedtime
Shine the light back to safety

Written on a day when I was teaching (and learning) about Thai ghosts.
The form is a Paiku. The Piaku form takes part of its name from the fact that the syllable count for each line matches the digits in Pi.
Pi:  3.14159 26535 897
Inspired by this Paiku at Moonwashed Musings and the first line is a variation on the Karate song ‘There Are Ghosts’

Today I’m feeling:

Tired on waking, so I snoozed for an extra 30 minutes, skipping exercise. 

I was sitting at House from 8am until 3.30pm. Before lunch I got a bit of reading and writing done and after lunch I finished off a couple of lesson plans and was feeling inspired to do more but had to go and pick up Amy to take her to the hospital as she will stay overnight with her dad as he is due to have his operation this evening.

Today I’m grateful for:

My usual Jetyod dispensary that had brownies and gummies in stock. I’m hoping to sleep well tonight but hope I still feel ok in the morning too.

Sometimes I still feel sleepy in the morning after eating this.

The best thing about today was:

Really getting into the flow whilst working at House today. Time pretty much flew by and I was enjoying every second of it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After sitting for a little while at the cafe I noticed a dull ache in my left hip joint which has gotten steadily worse throughout the day and causing me to limp a little. It is very tender to touch. 

I’m assuming I must’ve overdone it with the exercising earlier this week.

I hope it doesn’t disturb my sleep and I definitely won’t be doing any exercise on it in the morning.

Something I learned today?

My students at the competition all messaged me to tell me that they had done well, coming 2nd or 3rd place, which they were all quite proud of.  I’m still waiting to find out about others too.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

After I got back from the city I took some cookies to Baipad and her sister and mum. It was already getting a little dark so she wasn’t keen to practice riding the bike so I managed to twist her arm to get in her mum’s car and we just went through everything in front of her, without going anywhere.

I told her I should be free tomorrow afternoon and if it works out, we can practice driving. She threw her arms up in a semi-mocking fright but also a happy resignation that if I push her to do it, then she doesn’t have a choice.

Mandala – 10th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Wild chaotic geometry

Vague approaches to symmetry

A universe in the hand

Reintegration as planned

Womb world thunderbolt

Ritual sensory assault

Burning up ignorance

A ring of fire confluence

Diamonds in illumination

Aspects of individuation

Graveyards to lotus leaves

Here the mandala conceives

Inspired by the image above for Reena’s Xploration Challenge #337 and a quick perusal of the online Britannica entry for mandala.

Today I’m feeling:

A little bit tired and unmotivated.  With no kids at school for the rest of the week I have lots of time to read, write and prepare more lessons but now I’m sitting here in the cafe I kinda just feel sleepy!

Amy had a sore throat a couple of days ago and mine is starting to tickle a little bit too.

I have to go to the dentist at 11.30 but hopefully it won’t be too expensive and shouldn’t need any work done.

Today I’m grateful for:

A decent, long downpour which has finally seen the temperature become more bearable.  Ironically, I’m not at school to enjoy it and everything will be back to scorched and sweaty by next week would be a pretty good guess.

Still, it was nice to feel the cold rain on my skin when I was outside looking around the garden.

The best thing about today was:

My phone being ok (see below) and also the dentist telling me everything was looking ok and them cleaning up some plaque for me.

I wasn’t too surprised when the bill was 800 baht, so I sent through the payment via my phone but then the receptionist realised that she had given me the wrong invoice and that, in fact, today was free of charge.  So she refunded me in cash!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy sent me across from the cafe to get some cookie bags from the bakery and I was leaving my phone fell out of my pocket and something happened that has made it difficult to use.  I’m hoping that it is nothing too big and expensive to fix but it will be a further strain on my budget this month.

(Later) I managed to restart the phone and everything was back to normal which is something else that I’m grateful for today.

Something I learned today?

I’m learning lots of little pieces of interesting information from my grade 12 kids with their oral diary.  

Beam told me that he is really interested in human behaviour and psychology and wants to study that at university.

Blow And Crash – 9th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

A vile legion, no alkaline vial
A third eye opened up to show
The first two burned out and bled
Soon forgotten, supposed to know

A toot of one’s own horn
I found myself getting in touch
With beauty scarily sublime
It overwhelmed, too much

As skin returned from blue
The views up there began to fade
Stirred up in a sandy wave
To crash on the beach I made

It’s not these orange-tinted glasses
Or butterflies flowing from my gut
Reality was just a ‘barely hanging on’
Out of my mind, a door slowly shut

Submitted to No Theme Thursday and the attached picture as inspiration.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. An easy start and a relatively simple first class with my grade 8s.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to quickly rearrange my afternoon class so that everyone could finish early.

The best thing about today was:

Getting home by 3pm and though it’s a bit of a negative, I lazily watched TV rather than getting anything done.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My second class was supposed to be at 2.30, but a few students had told me that because other teachers were away, they had nothing to do until then.

So during my first class, I was thinking how to start at 12.30 instead so that everyone could finish early.

I decided to go for it and messaged them to come at 12.30 and we would find a classroom to study in.

It was only a little later that I realised that I had forgotten that this class is made up of students from two different programs, and one had classes until 12.30, which meant that they would miss lunch by coming straight to my class this time. 

I thought I’d smoothed it over because I knew that they wouldn’t actually study until 12.30 and asked them to quickly grab lunch whilst they could. 

The class went well and we got it all done in an hour, as the room was due for another class.

Later, I heard that the two groups of students were quarrelling about this change of plan, so I had to try and smooth things over. Though I also found out that this was not just about what happened today, but an ongoing situation between the two.

Something I learned today?

Burmese armed resistance are financing themselves by flooding Thailand with cheap drugs, causing a moral quandary for those who support their fight for (supposed) ‘democracy’ there.

Somehow, I never come across these cheap drugs!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I watched all the students preparing for the drama competition and personally wished each of them good luck for the next few days. Lin, Jet, Namyen, Guitar, Noah, Poppy, Achang, Alew, Wipping, Palm and a couple of others. I dispersed all my coins to them as they begged for spending money while they are away. I think that cost me 17 baht in total!  I hope that they have a good time because they have been working hard on this play.

I took this picture because these are my old students, Aoey, Pleng and AimAem rehearsing their speech for their competition. Unfortunately for them, they couldn’t stop themselves from laughing when I started taking pictures and holding my hands as they were. As with my other students, I wished them well and to try their best.

The Wild World – 8th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We live alone
Our relationships symbolic
Resources for production
Or a backdrop for healing

A miracle of blindness
Debasing all else
To second-order existence
We live alone

A massive fiction of things
The wild at the margins
An intellectual sleight of hand
Of us versus them

Ignorant of our nature
Domination the goal
Trading in certainties
At a bloodied altar

Denying our relationship
We live alone
We are the pandemic
In a wolf head mask

It’s business as usual
Caught in the weave
Dualistic blindness
We chose to live alone

Possessing the wisdom
The germ of a solution
Future archaeologists found
We died alone

Inspired and borrowed from Dan Ray at Philosophy Now’s review of Ways of Being Alive by Baptiste Morizot

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good, though I feel like I’m overheating.  Not sure if something is going on in my body or it’s just leftover from pushing myself with exercise this morning.

Today should be a relatively easy day at school and hopefully I still feel motivated when I get home and play some guitar.  I totally lazed away the weekend and though I don’t feel guilty about it, I still know that I should be doing stuff.

Today I’m grateful for:

Only five students turning up to my first class.  They didn’t know where everyone else was and assumed that they were taking the whole week away from school, as from Wed-Fri, they are not at school and supposed to be studying online.

I played a Quizziz of each student’s choice for the first hour and then let them go for the second two hours of our class, so I’m back early for more coffee!

The best thing about today was:

The extra coffee time that turned out well, as I got a couple of nice poems written after doing a bit of reading and thinking.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another one of my pens went missing today during my class with 2/7.  I’m fairly certain that it is Program who is taking them as he is always trying to steal things out of my pocket, never has his own pen and always walks around the room and near the table when I am not there.

I may be wrong but I’ve got my eye on him.

Something I learned today?

As I had some spare time in the morning, I ducked into the grade 10 English class to chat with some of the students I knew and whilst there, Kru Ren came in to teach.  He didn’t do anything to try and get the students attention and seemed to be just shouting to no one, as everyone else was either on their phone, playing games or making TikTok videos.

I just don’t get how that is going to work.  But what was weird was that meeting some of the students a couple of hours later, I asked them about the class and they were able to talk about the subject fairly coherently.  Maybe it got better after I left, or Kru Ren decided to teach in Thai rather than English, so that at least he would be understood.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I stayed back after my last class to talk with Praew some more.  I think she is a little bit of an attention seeker in some ways and I’m not totally sure what to believe.  With her anxiety, depression and being bullied in class, it is sure to mess with her behaviour.

Not My Business – 7th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Your opinion of me, it could hurt
You can only teach if I wish to learn
Keep kicking it along in the dirt
Your opinion of me is not my concern

To take offence is to give offence
An ever-decreasing circle of pain
I’ll not give you satisfaction at my expense
Or even bother to explain

First attempt at an 8-line poem about what offends me. Nothing offends me, not personally.

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy.  I didn’t intend to. Though I didn’t have any other intention either.

My energy has returned but motivation has gone missing. Part of this is due to knowing that I will have lots of spare time this coming week.

Today I’m grateful for:

The freedom to be lazy today. 

The best thing about today was:

Clearing a bunch of videos out of my ‘watch later’ queue.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Everything was in my control, I just made the laziest choices!

Something I learned today?

I finished watching the Idles documentary and enjoyed it a lot. I like their music but usually only in small doses. I can appreciate their appeal as genuine human beings and that makes me like them more.

I took this picture because I wanted to send it to Noey. I told her that Utopia is boys only now (now that there are no female staff). Save also said that she had told him that she wanted to stay in the USA, so I messaged her to find herself a boyfriend while she’s there.

Go Figure – 6th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It was a cliché to be sure
A thumb stood out, throbbing sore
Cats and dogs did not truly pour
The joy was in the tale

Dead from boredom, a slow burn
The Cheshire cat smiles in turn
The bad seeds will never learn
The joy was in the deed

Brand new, champing at the bit
To get to the bottom of it
It’s hyperbole I must admit
The joy was in the search

It doesn’t get much better than this
A cuddle before make up and kiss
From shotgun wedding through to bliss
The joy was in the idioms

Submitted to the Ovi Poetry Challenge – joy and for an assignment at AllPoetry

Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy and bleary. I can’t quite focus my eyes on the screen, and despite killer coffee, I feel as if I could enjoy another few hours of sleep.

Nothing in particular to do today, and Amy and I talked about watching a movie later.

Today I’m grateful for:

Seafood buffet grill with Amy and Aun. I wasn’t going to go originally, but in the end I decided to. The food was average but cheap.

The best thing about today was:

A late morning nap after a little book and comic reading. I finally felt a little more awake after that.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At the seafood buffet, hygiene did not seem to be a high priority, highlighted by the maggot I found crawling across the ‘clean’ dishes. Hopefully, the spicy seafood sauce was able to kill anything that is likely to kill us.

9th May 2025 – That shop has now gone.

Something I learned today?

This evening we watched Furiosa, the latest Mad Max movie. It is big, dumb fu,n but not really that good.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I messaged Lin to see how she was doing because after having some issues at home mid-last week, she then looked and felt sick on Thursday and Friday. Happily, she said that she was getting a little better.

Tonaor took this picture yesterday and I think it’s funny. I don’t usually see myself in profile and it shows me a little of what I look like to the kids. The expression on Namking’s face is hilarious too.

Scattershot – 5th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

You made them, baby boys
Conceived in a sweaty room
Forgotten fruit left to rot
The urge to run too soon

Scattershot bonds stretch
Heated passion, spoiled seeds
Helpless baby boys flailing
Without the direction he needs

You made them, baby girls
Breeders, they can’t stop breeding
Pretty pink unkissed lips
Rushing towards the seeding

Scattershot, the TV dreams
Promises whispered or unspoken
Babies make babies cry
So all the boys and girls are broken

Submitted to FOWC with Fandango and inspired by my experiences teaching wild and untamed students already on their sexual journies as their young parents are missing in action (for various reasons).

Today I’m feeling:

Good again.  I pushed through the tough exercise again this morning, feeling breathless and sweaty by the end.  Amy has been sound asleep in the mornings for the last few days and in the evenings I’m usually asleep well before her.

I enjoyed my first two grade 11 classes this morning and just have a reading class with the grade 8s this afternoon and it’s the weekend again.

Today I’m grateful for:

My student, Beam. In the task I set his class yesterday of sending me an oral diary telling me what they learned that day, Beam told me that he really enjoys my class and learning things from me. 

Whilst he is smart enough to know how to butter someone up I believe his sincerity. It felt good to hear and encourages me. I will return that encouragement to the class.

The best thing about today was:

… (As I’m writing this on Saturday morning, I don’t feel that there was one best thing about yesterday. The day was pretty good all round until I ran out of energy, and as I’m still not fully recovered yet, it is clouding my memory of yesterday a little too.)

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In my last class, I could feel my energy giving out and was glad to end it a little early and then head home.  I revived briefly with some dinner, but by around 7.30 pm, I was crashing badly and melting into the lounge, mindlessly watching TV.

Amy tried to revive me again before sleep, but ended up disappointed, and I was asleep an instant later.

(I didn’t even have energy to complete writing here and doing it now on Saturday morning)

Something I learned today?

Praew told me that she will leave our school at the end of the semester because of her unhappiness, and on further investigation, she told me it was because she was bullied in our class. 

I thought maybe this was by her old friends, Nudee and Ueang, but I was surprised to learn that it was by KanomBang. I hadn’t seen this at all.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I sympathised with Praew and her situation.

She Is Beautiful, They Said – 4th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

Somehow, she deals gently with her blues
A feathery kind an introvert would choose
All told her that she is beautiful and smart
She counters she has no confidence at heart

A common theme for sure, though this poem is about one student of mine in particular. I could have gone on writing but I think I managed to sum it all in these four lines.
Submitted to WDYS #243, Writer’s Workshop Prompts – counter, Word the Day Challenge – introvert and Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Feathery blues

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. I got up and exercised, the 20-minute video workout again, not feeling quite as strained after finishing this time.

Once at school, Baipad, Apple, and Ploy were excited about a new game, and I also later downloaded it and played a bit tonight to see what it was all about.

It looks really good, but trying to follow everything on the small phone screen just makes my eyes ache.  I can’t imagine what it is doing to children’s eyes, with them playing for hours on end.

After my morning coffee time, I had the pleasure of teaching the grade 12 kids, who are getting more into what I’m teaching them and also doing quite well.

With my younger kids, their blank stares usually indicate no understanding, but the older kids’ blank stares are them thinking!  Part of my class today was about showing enthusiasm in their conversation.

Today I’m grateful for:

Not teaching my second class as the classroom was in use for next week’s competition preparation.  I assigned the students some writing work to keep them busy for a little while, and was able to skip out an hour earlier than usual.

The best thing about today was:

Having the grade 12 students use the website that Kru Tang told me about today, and seeing the happiness on a few of their faces when they achieved relatively good scores testing their speaking.  

I will get them to test themselves each week, and hopefully they will be able to see their own improvement over time.

Something I learned today?

Parents have complained to the school that the teachers are not teaching their classes because they are too busy preparing for next week’s competition, just handing out worksheets instead.  I think the parents would complain even more if they actually saw what goes on in the classrooms!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Spain turned up for class even though I had given them some writing work to do.  He ended up following me around the school as I went checking up that the kids were doing their work.

Spain is a funny kid.  He was some form of something or other, I wouldn’t like to say what, which seems to affect his social skills. With me today, though, he was nonstop talking, and I was quite impressed with his English skills.  He struggles to make friends because of the way he is, but deep down, he’s a nice boy with a good heart.

Tonaor took this picture because she saw me passing by and shouted ‘selfie’, and everyone else came running out.  From top right: Fah, me, Mei, Tonaor, August, Namthip, Namkhing, Nicha, Dena. Sadly, after three years of being in the ‘Talented English Program’, they can barely speak any English between them! Somehow, we’ve been able to bond and communicate with each other, though.

Cursed – 3rd July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Incarnated into another low form
Cursed again to never feel a real peace
It’s too late now to wish I’d not been born
The struggle to survive will never cease
Next life, please guide me away from the storm
Let me take a turn at a life of ease
Shed this skin before an exchange of breath
A return to life in exchange for death

An Ottavo Rima poem on reincarnation, submitted to FOWC with Fandango — Cursed and Three Things Challenge #M742 – death, wish, peace

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired but happy.  I skipped exercise this morning as I was dead asleep from perhaps 10.30 until my alarm at 6 am. 

My body is definitely feeling the effects of that exercise yesterday morning, so I’m ok to skip today and try it again tomorrow.  It’s a kinda good tired feeling.

Today I’m grateful for:

Mee’s mum getting out of the hospital last night.  I had just randomly messaged Mee to see how she was, and she said that her mum had been suddenly rushed to the hospital.  

Happily, everything was ok.  I didn’t ask anymore about it. 

My guess is that it wasn’t as serious as Mee was making out, but I also know how important it is for her to have her mum back in her everyday life.

The best thing about today was:

Nong Praew told me that she has three dads.  Her dad, her mum and me!  That was nice to hear.  I know she struggles in my class, not just with what I’m teaching but also socially.

I don’t know how much of an effect her medicine has on her, but she can be a little hyper happy sometimes, though she knows who to show it to and who not to show it to.  I can understand why some students are put off by her, but as an adult, I can feel empathy for her.

She told me that she might move to Chiang Mai at some point because she is not happy at this school.  I’m not sure how much that will help her in the long run.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My most annoying student really pissed me off today as he pulled down his best friends pants whilst he had his hands full, in front of the whole class.  I asked him to leave and have since been talking to his homeroom teacher about what to do with him this time.

No previous warnings or punishments have had any effect and I believe they won’t have this time either.  I will see if I can switch from teaching his class because I’ve had enough of having to deal with him.

Something I learned today?

“Do you want some tea?” Is the new kids code word “Do you want some gossip”.  I found out this morning from JubJib that the gossip is that a group of grade 9 students from my old class are bullying Yurin in various ways.  I think I wrote here a few days ago about it.

Whilst Yurin is unlikely to be blameless in whatever is going on, the others shouldn’t be ganging up on her either.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Kru NumNim was away from the grade 8 class this morning so I sat in and encouraged them to do their work which was a little tough as kids played and slept instead.  

By the end of the class, about 80% of the students had at least put something together.

This morning Nong Praew gave me some rice crackers as a gift for which I thanked her.  A few minutes later I met Lin and she looked very sad and thoughtful.  

She couldn’t or wouldn’t explain what was wrong, so I just patted her back and handed over the rice crackers for comfort.  I also sent her a message later on.

The Horror – 2nd July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Unrecognised alive
Ash and dust
Swirl around your eyes
As the grim sun starves
Flies start investigating
The first on-scene
To witness the horror

An unrecognised state
Take a breath
Before the bullet
Where revenge rises from the shadows
Books and bodies burned
On the wrong side of the fence
The olive trees have no branches

One day, one day
God’s wrath will flood the earth again

Inspired by Palestinian poet, Noor Hindi.
Submitted to Weekly Prompts -The One-Day Prompt (3)

Today I’m feeling:

Happy, though a bit undecided.  I woke up with a start, enjoying my sleep and a sexy dream (with Amy) and struggled through my first 20-minute video exercise, which made me feel good but also on the edge of over-exertion.

At school, the kids that I regularly visit in the morning were all in pretty good moods, and we chatted and played a little.  Now I’m waiting for the first coffee to kick in before heading back to school early to help Kru Tang again, and then my first class of the day with my grade 8s.

Today I’m grateful for:

Gui for allowing me credit again last month and then for getting paid and being able to pay off the debt.

The best thing about today was:

I felt a bit rushed today but still got a few things done. I got to Kru Tang at 9.30 and whilst waiting for her students to arrive, my grade 11 students were doing an online speaking exercise that instantly gave them a CEFR and IELTS score. 

I tried to help them a little bit and also thought it would be a good test to do with my other students too.

Something I learned today?

As I was leaving school yesterday, a car drove by and a shout came, ‘Hey, Teacher Shaun’.  I looked around and waved back to see ShinChan driving an old car.  This morning I saw him and asked him how old he is, to which he replied, 15!

He told me that he lives with his dad and they have a motorbike and a car.  Sometimes his dad will take the motorbike, so he has to take the car to get himself to school.

He has a motorbike license, but I don’t think he can get a car license until he is 18.  He knows to be careful, but could get caught out if someone crashes into him.

It’s good that he has taken some responsibility at an early age, and I have to chuckle a little at the way things work here.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I caught up with Anchan briefly this morning and found out that her mum should be home in a couple of weeks’ time. That’s great news for her if it happens.

Sitting with Baipad and Fahmai this morning, Fahmai said that Baipad is smart and beautiful. I told him that Baipad doesn’t think that she is and asked him why he thought that might be. He said he couldn’t understand that, and she quickly stated, ‘I’m not confident’. Hopefully, these kind words her friends say about her are remembered and will accumulate to bring her confidence in the future. Fahmai said that he is smart and beautiful, demonstrating his confidence.

Later on I was chatting online with both of them and I asked them about whether they did anything kind today which they both found something to say about each other. Well, that’s a start.

Kids playing together, July 2024. Earn, Dena, Namthip, Nicha and Fah, my old students, now grade 9.