Month: August 2024

A Breath Of Life – 11th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A 15-year-old girl executed by fascists
Was the superhero in this tale
The revolution was real on the ground
The freedom fight must never fail

No one else came to save the day
A deus ex machina, just an invention
A teenager who trusted herself
Guided by virtuous intention

Real heroes often lose their heads
The blade brings a sudden halt
Left a monument to liberation
Against the brutal fascist assault

Inspired by the story of Liu Hulan who was executed by the KMT (who were supported by the USA)

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and a little out of it. I think that I might get kick-started with some coffee but could just as easily go the other way and nap some more!

(later) I haven’t napped but have had a pretty constant headache.

Health:

Physical: 4
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy for letting me rest a little and watch the Volleyball with Mum and Dad whilst she was preparing all our food for dinner.

The best thing about today was:

After dinner Amy wanted to sing karaoke with Aun and Priyao and so I was left to watch Netflix in the other air-conditioned room and I watched The Wandering Earth, based on Liu Cixin’s novel. 

A cool story but held back by a Hollywood-style screenplay.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My laziness and poor health have kept me out of my room today and lodged in front of the TV with a headache. 

A little of this is in part knowing that we go to Amy’s parents for Mother’s Day this evening and I’m conserving energy for that. And as tomorrow is a holiday I can catch up a little then.

Something I learned today?

I saw Shiso for sale in Makro. I was tempted to buy it and and just eat it there and then!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I got a message from Anchan yesterday asking me to tutor her on weekends as she needs to catch up on her language skills to take an exam for a school in Chiang Mai. 

Today she added that she wants to get away from her grandmum here in Chiang Rai as she found out that her mum was sentenced to one and a half years in prison in Myanmar and not six months, which would be up soon.

I can’t tutor on weekends, though. I’m already so tired and today, in particular, really feeling my age. I gave her some ideas but I’m curious about her commitment to pulling herself through.

The Door – 10th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

Is the door ajar?
Is Debbie looking in?
Her eyes drew me closer
Mine, all set to spin

Held me tight in embrace
Touched by your presence dear
Kissed me under the swamp tree
Woke up, sudden and clear

The door was not ajar

Submitted to dVerse prompts – jar and dreams and inspired by a dream I had after watching Blondie’s ‘Touched By Your Presence Dear’ on TV, where I swore that she was looking and talking to me, so powerful was the dream that the next day I went to the tree in the swampy woods and waited for her to appear again. Predictably, she did not.

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired and dizzy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to watch the Swans just get over the line against Collingwood this morning. I gave up on them but they somehow pulled it off.

The best thing about today was:

Putting together the sleeves and vinyl for the High Voltage/SpeechOdd split and figuring out how to get rid of as many of these things as possible!

It gave me a little more motivation, though my energy soon ran out again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I came back from my room at about 4 pm and started watching videos and thought it would be a good idea to eat the last weed gummy in the fridge. A couple of hours later and my head was spinning badly and I felt nauseous. I went to pee but soon had to stop as I needed to throw up and out came the chewed-up gummy and a couple of Amy’s delicious cookies.

Thankfully, I felt much better after that but couldn’t do anything except watch another four hours of The Boys, finishing off Season 2.

I ended up forgetting to write here and catching up on Sunday morning.

Something I learned today?

I think that’s it for weed for me. I’m too old for that shit now!

Taking Stock – 9th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Are you sick and tired of the same old thing
Or are you happy enough?
Tell me
When does so much become so little?
When does too little become too much?

It feels like you’ve been here before
These are familiar words you sing
Wheels spinning
Stuck on the rat race treadmill
Are you sick and tired of the same old thing?

A trophy wife and trophy life
Surrounded by all this glittering stuff
Are you empty?
Is that a constant nagging inside
Or are you happy enough?

I have so many questions
Are you certain of all that you see?
Never wrong?
I don’t believe everything that you
Tell me

The Joneses are growing bigger
Your ego inflexible and brittle
Tired of waiting
Believing it’s always your turn
When does so much become so little?

Your debt to yourself is catching up
Your life is empty (as such)
Left with no thing
Just sand slipping through your fingers
When does too little become too much?

A cascading poem based around the final verse of Nomeansno’s ‘Stocktaking’ from their album ‘Wrong’
21st Sep 2024 – Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Wrong

Today I’m feeling:

A little better today after all that sleep yesterday.  I ended up waking a little early this morning, took a while to get myself going but my first two classes were fun and easy.

I feel freaking hot though, my body seems to be working overtime to get rid of whatever is making me sick.  No fever though.

Today I’m grateful for:

Getting through the day in reasonably good shape. I was tired but energised again after another bowl of Pla Tom from Chef Amy. I think I’ll sleep well tonight if I can keep this little cough under control.

The best thing about today was:

On my way to my last class, I found 4 of the students that I had penalised for not submitting work yesterday furiously writing it all out in the canteen. I stood over them for about a minute and they were so focused they didn’t realise I was there.

When they all looked up they gave me a half-upset and annoyed look, along with an ‘ok, I fucked up’ half-smile.

They were wonderfully behaved in my class today and we all had a good time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was all set to teach in my normal room with aircon this morning when another teacher came along and kicked the kids out.  We easily found another room but unfortunately, without aircon.

To be honest, the aircon doesn’t make that much difference when a room is full off sweaty teenagers (and a sweaty old man!).

In the past, I might have let this sudden change bother me but now I can deal with it easily.

Something I learned today?

I learned that the US Anti-Doping Agency, which monitors for performance-enhancing drugs in sports, let off offenders and allowed them to keep competing so long as they dobbed in other cheaters!

This same agency has now accused the Chinese swimmers of being drug cheats at the Olympics, even though they were tested 3 times more than any other country and passed every test. 

The anti-China rhetoric has jumped the shark.

I took this picture because earlier in the week, Baipad had alerted me to a Facebook auction with this Gloomy Bear plushie. I bid 220 baht and won and here he is sitting on the shelf next to my bed.  It gives me the opportunity to give back the plushie that Baicard gave me on Teacher’s Day 4 years ago and had been sitting there collecting dust ever since.

Don’t Poke A Sleeping Cat – 8th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 10 Comments

Behind the smiles, sharpened fangs
The soft face belies a strength
When considered less than human
She will go to any length
To give you a pause for reflection
A reconsideration of your role
Don’t imagine her at your level
With the humanity you stole
For her, it’s just another fight
One she’s fought so often
The rage never dissipates
And she’s careful not to soften

Written after seeing a particularly strong performance by a front woman for a band (SpeechOdd) and their song ‘More Than Decoration’.

Submitted to Poets and Storytellers United and somewhat connected to the prompt “Love your neighbour as yourself”

Today I’m feeling:

Exhausted.  I think that I slept deeply but only in small bursts, so that I woke up well before my alarm and realised that I needed way more rest and so I reset my alarm and decided not to go to school today.  I’m glad I did.

My alarm woke me up again at 7.30 and I sent messages to Kru Mai and sent some work for my morning class to complete and send to me.  Then it was back to sleep.

Around what I thought was maybe 10 am, I thought about maybe getting up but then checking my phone, I found that it was already 2pm!  I got up quickly, though still groggy and dozy.  I got on my laptop and sent work to my afternoon class that was due to start in 30 minutes.

After that, I almost fell asleep again watching videos and at around 5 pm, Amy made me fish congee with ginger, which made me feel much better, though I’m about to get back into bed again now at 8.30.

I think I’ll be ok to go to school tomorrow but the morning will tell for sure.

Today I’m grateful for:

The delivery guy who dropped off the record covers from Malaysia, though, didn’t contact me until later to pay the customs fee.  I don’t know what he would’ve done if I hadn’t paid him but I knew this was coming and happy to do the right thing despite how fucking annoying paying these fees are.

I can’t imagine anyone in the West trusting people like that.

The best thing about today was:

Catching up my exhausted body.  Have done little else today.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Naturally, sending my students work to do whilst I’m not in class causes more work for me – especially with the students who don’t bother to do anything and I have to chase them up.

The Rides – 7th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment
Image created by Kevin at The Beginning at Last

A lizard onlooker shouts for both sides
The winners and losers, just along for the rides
The best place to hide is out in the open
There are no promises that cannot be broken

There is no yin and yang or balance
The race is run purely by marketing talents
They’re all donkeys dressed up as horses
Rides into the sunset as democracy endorses

Submitted to Bad Jonny’s competition at AllPoetry.com “Why have we only got 2 lunatics to choose from?” concerning the USA election this year.

Today I’m feeling:

Tired still and my sore throat, whilst not as painful, feels weird and is making me think that I have some form of Covid.

Last night I tried to sleep at around 9.30 but it took a while as I had a bad headache and eyeache.

I also had a weird dream about finding snakes under the bed in my old Forest Cottage bedroom and mum came in and just picked them up and threw them out of the window, no fear!

Today I’m grateful for:

It being my low-pressure day today, giving me chance to relax a bit and catch up on some reading and writing.

The best thing about today was:

The challenge of getting my poorly skilled grade 8 students motivated and awake this afternoon. A few of them are sick too. Somehow, I feel like I kind of managed it and everyone was reasonably happy.

Something I learned today?

Just by chance, I was in the teacher’s room with Kru Mai and I started talking about the Integrated Program for next year and that I thought that I could probably do it with the type of lessons that I have already.  Kru Mai was grateful for this information and then let slip that the school is not happy with George as he didn’t talk with them about not wanting to teach Integrated this year, instead, going to Nancy and having her ‘fix’ it for him.  He also said that students are not happy with seeing one teacher so much of the time (as George only teaches grades 11 and 12).

I told Kru Mai that both David and I are exhausted by the weekend, having to deal with the grade 7, 8 and 9s all the time too.

I asked if students had raised any issues about my classes and he said no, everything seemed to be fine, which was nice to hear.  He seemed to be happy with both me and David.

Also, I can’t remember if I wrote about it here before but last week there was a message from the head of our department that parents had made complaints about the quality of teaching in our classes, as their children had reported back that other students would be sleeping, playing on their phones or doing their make-up instead of paying attention.

Complaints were made in person to the director so our department was warned that we would be checked up on this week. I hadn’t noticed any real changes or effort on the part of the teachers but I also haven’t been around much either. 

With the exchange students being here, it has also made things a little more chaotic with teachers being pulled here and there at random times, too.

At the weekend, I showed Bruno and Amy the warning from the head and we talked about it a little bit. Today, Kru Mai mentioned it to me too, telling me that it was a grade 7 student who had complained and it was particularly about Kru Ren’s class.

I could’ve guessed as much but didn’t think much else about it until I got home and Amy said that it was actually her friend Goy’s sister-in-law who complained to the director and her daughter, who is a smart student and is attentive and wants to learn is being bullied by the other students for being a goodie-two-shoes and to give them her work so that they can all copy it!

Chiang Rai is so small that everyone is at about three degrees of separation rather than the stereotypical six.

Anyway, the kid seems smart and I want to meet her.

I took this picture because these colourful flowers stood out in the dull grey-green of the day as I made my way through the garden at House.

Shatters – 6th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 9 Comments

Shatters
Into pieces
A thought multiplying
Mirrored, reflected, refracted
Splinters

Submitted to No Theme Thursday and the attached picture.

Cinquain is a short, usually unrhymed poem with twenty-two syllables distributed in five lines: 2, 4, 6, 8, 2.
Line 1 has one word (the title).
Line 2 has two words that describe the title.
Line 3 has three words that tell the action.
Line 4 has four words that express the feeling
Line 5 has one word which recalls the title.

Today I’m feeling:

Not so terrible but I can’t speak clearly because of whatever is going on in my throat.

I felt ok to get up but once I got to school I felt tired again.

Today I’m grateful for:

My grade 10s contacting me whilst I was at the cafe, asking if I could teach them immediately, as they had no other classes today and didn’t want to wait until 2.30. It seemed like a good idea because it meant that I could finish at 12.30 and go home too.

This turned out to be a double-edged sword. The grade 10 was simple enough and the grade 8s immediately afterwards went well enough too and I headed home. However, I was low on energy and motivation and had an hour snooze and after getting up again from that, just felt like wanting to sleep more.

This meant that I didn’t do any reading or writing today and I’m back in bed again now at 7.30 pm

The best thing about today was:

I put my grade 8s into random pairs to practice conversation. Most of them complained and asked to swap partners, to which i just ignored them and asked them to get on with it. 

This showed me who was prepared to just get on with it and do what was asked rather than avoiding it until the very end. None of them got away.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite my fairly low feeling today I didn’t let anything in particular bother me.

Something I learned today?

I came across this quote that I like: “People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.” – Soren Kierkegaard

Father To Son – 5th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It was never true, that all I knew
Was everything or there about
I let you believe, and so you did
I never left you any doubt

There’s always advice I’ll give you
Do with that as you so desire
As we move away, we closer get
Until it’s your turn to inspire

I hope you’ll be a better version
I’ll head toward my obsolescence
Thanks for all the fish my friends
Good luck with your adolescence

Inspired by this post at The Red Hand Files

Today I’m feeling:

A little run-down but forcing myself through with what little energy I have. My stomach is sore from all the medicine but hopefully I’m on the up from here.

Today I’m grateful for:

The welcome students gave me when I joined them at the exchange student ceremony this morning and even before that. Students I don’t even know wanted fist bumps today. That was nice.

I’m also grateful to Kru Ning for inviting me to sit with the teachers for the ceremony but I preferred to be with the students anyway, mostly because it meant that I could sneak out easily when I wanted to.

Also, Kru Pooky sent a message warning that the teachers from other countries may visit during my classes in the afternoon, with my two noisiest classes but thankfully no one came in the end.

The best thing about today was:

After sneaking out from the ceremony, I ended up talking with Mee and Rista a little while they were avoiding doing Kru David’s work. Mee told me that she is sad with herself because she doesn’t understand the English work that she is doing as extra classes outside of school. I tried to encourage her but I think that she doesn’t have the self-motivation to push herself through.

I also ended up helping Nong Fah to find the correct answers, which she appreciated.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The pharmacy was shut at Big C today and the supermarket also had a disappointing selection of expensive muesli. The bread shop had also run out of the Korean chewy cheese bread I like but I did manage to grab the last two sesame ones. I’ll keep checking back in.

Something I learned today?

Malaysia issued a travel warning for its citizens thinking about travelling to the UK, due to the demonstrations and riots there, which seem to be focusing on immigrant populations.

Cameo – 4th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

Stage left
Enigmatically
Entranced; entranced her audience
“There she is!”
The crowd’s breath held; rapturously
Applauded and exited
Stage right

Submitted to What’s Going On – A Cameo Appearance.
Cameo is a seven-line syllable count, unrhymed poem invented by English poet Alice Spokes. It has 2-5-8-3-8-7-2 syllables per line, for a total of 35 syllables.

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and sick again, though not too terrible, just lacking energy and motivation. My throat is getting more sore and I’m full of medicines.

Today I’m grateful for:

Not having to do anything today, and that is pretty much what I did. 

The best thing about today was:

I watched another five episodes of The Boys to finish off the first season. It was good but the comics were more fun.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After coffee, I came home to watch the football and was hoping that the Swans could get their act together but they got trounced by Port and now look less likely to win anything else this year. Oh well. 

Something I learned today?

I watched a video about dead hangs and how not to push them too much. I haven’t done it much recently and should get back to it.

See Me Dead – 3rd August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 10 Comments

I want to see the grief expressed
Hear the kind words manifest
Let me celebrate the life I led
To become immortal now I’m dead

You don’t need to shed those tears
I got to enjoy so many years
But being gone is a long, long time
Don’t forget me and what was mine

What wishes made, to have been said
Or ones wished retracted instead
Look on my legacy for what it’s worth
You’ll too join me soon, returned to earth

You and me, will all be forgot
Ladies and gentlemen, that’s your lot!

Inspired by reading others’ poems about grief at dVerse this week and the idea of wanting to know how others feel about you once you are gone, much like my teenage student, who, after attempting suicide, said that she wanted to see her mother’s reaction once she was gone!

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and a little sick with a sore throat. I slept for almost twelve hours and crawled back in again at around 11 am, after a couple of coffees.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy told me that she was talking to a village auntie (the cowman’s wife) over the fence this morning and asked if I was teaching at CRPAO. Amy said yes and the auntie said that her son is in grade 8 and that even though I don’t teach him, she has heard that I’m a good and kind teacher.

That was nice to hear.

The best thing about today was:

Eating some nice food at Bruno and Nut’s place this evening. Even though I was feeling a little tired and sick, I enjoyed eating, talking and listening with them.

Something I learned today?

I watched an interesting video about a new DAW in development called Blockhead. Even though I don’t even use the DAWs that I have, I would still be interested in the idea of playing with them one day.

The Tides – 2nd August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 23 Comments

The words all emptied out of me
Contemplating the push and pull
Heart and head once so proud and full
Sat now, a sculpture by the sea
Contemplating the push and pull
The words all emptied out of me

Shared with WDYS #247 and the attached picture

The Biolet is a six-line poem; the first two lines are repeated as the last two lines in reverse.
The rhyme scheme can be expressed as ABbaBA (with the capital letters representing the repeated lines).
The length of the lines can be in iambic tetrameter (8 syllables), iambic pentameter (10 syllables), iambic hexameter (12 syllables), or in unmetered lines of random lengths.

The second line doesn’t fit the iambic tetrameter but I like it there as the actual words make the reader contemplate the push and pull, chaotic like the ocean.

17th Dec 2024 – Published at Edge of Humanity

Today I’m feeling:

Tired! Gah! Reset my alarm again to get an extra 30 minutes, as I slept very well last night and wanted to sleep more.  It’s another English weather day, making my eyes ache and strain again and though my classes were all fun today they also felt like a struggle.

Thankfully, my mind was in pretty good shape and I was able to come up with some good ideas on the fly.

Today I’m grateful for:

The village uncles (see below)

The best thing about today was:

Getting a message from Amy during one of my lessons whilst teaching.  The message said ‘I’m in trouble’ and there was a picture of our car stuck in the mud of our lawn, as she had driven it across there to get closer to the house to unload her shopping.

I chuckled to myself as I carried on teaching.  She managed to get it out later with the help of a couple of uncles from next door.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In my second class today, half of my students didn’t turn up as they had been pulled off to do something else.  It was annoying to find out just as my class was starting and not have advance warning.

I dealt with it by just working with the 11 students who were there, which is a nice number of students for a class!

Something I learned today?

Ukraine has apparently reached out to China to help broker a peace deal with Russia.  Hmm….whilst NATO is trying to keep the war going and possibly expanding it to China too….

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I got a message from Winter’s mum that he had had an accident in the morning and was in ER!  I later found out that it was a motorbike accident and that he’s ok but his grandmum broke her arm.  I wished them the best.