Month: September 2024

Flat Earther – 30th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Living in a flat world
Able to see from here to there
To smell, touch and taste
Ride on clouds to share

Deconstructed culture
The world still goes around
Instant communication
A lightning strike profound

Automatic information
The hive mind buzzes
Armchair philosophers
Full of fight and fusses

Inspired by a Philosophy Now article about the Crisis of Culture and the thought that the internet has created a flat world

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again, waking up a little before my alarm and energised enough to exercise and do some dead hangs.

Very relaxed at school as many teachers are not teaching and many students are just catching up on work that they were too lazy to do during the semester. I happily let my grade 12 students do that whilst dropping by to David’s class and helping with my old grade 9 students, whom I still enjoy talking with (especially since no longer teaching them!).

Helping them in class was a bit of a reminder of how poor their English skills are. I really hope most of them don’t go into the English Program next year!

It also inspired me to do the same little piece of work to my grade 8s and see if they were any better and in general, I would say that about half of them were!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Couple Cups coffee for keeping me going this morning and also having a good seat and table for me to read and write at for an hour or so.

The best thing about today was:

As ever at this time of year, the relaxed atmosphere of the students (and teachers) and the general good feeling around school, in much contrast to last week.

This morning, Rista wanted to tell me all about her boyfriend and Pleng was shyly hiding her haircut, which she has cut into a boyish style but I think looks really nice. Rista tried to drag me off to her class by escorting me arm in arm but I ducked away for coffee first.

In my last class, Nomsen gave me a playful hug and said that I was the best teacher (possibly because I ran out of time to ask her any of the questions that other students had to answer!).

Ozone and Ploy played and joked with me as they waited for their class and I threatened to pick them up and throw them over the edge of the building. They also told me that they wished that I was still teaching them.

I encouraged Mee, Gam, Pat and Palmy with their speaking and they all did better than they expected and I guided Nam to find the correct answers in a test that they were doing.

As usual, I played with Apple and Baipad in the morning, trying to steal their phones off them and so it went around for most of the day.

Something I learned today?

We had a visitor whilst we were out and Amy found him when she got back from the city.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I’ve done this a couple of times recently. There is a mangy-looking dog that often sits at the traffic lights on the bypass and if the light is red and he’s around, I’ll throw him a dog snack that I usually keep in the car for Tokyo.

I took this picture because this is how I found the ‘bad girls’ in the middle of their class today. Some of my favourite students to play with, but happy not to be their teacher anymore!

What Wisdom – 29th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 12 Comments

Nothing now will change the mind
Of what’s decided by mankind
For all the proofs and arguments made
The highest price is always paid

A spear for heads, a sword for hearts
In search of union, the pulled-aparts
Secrets buried for manipulation
Histories bound for exploitation

The past once written on papyrus page
Wisdom to be lent to a future age
New evidence brings into dispute
The wisest moral substitute

And one true path could be agreed
By humanity unburdened, freed
Yet as decided by mankind
Nothing now will change their mind

Submitted to No Theme Thursday (picture prompt) and Poets and Storytellers United – substitution – a meditation on the stupidity of mankind when presented with the tools for wisdom and peace.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again with a little clarity. I think that is coming from the skipping of Tramadol but the other effect of that is feeling less inspired and ponderous.

So after cleaning the entertainment area and stretching out my back this morning, I took one and will see how I feel later today.

This morning feels like a winter morning with nice, clean and clear cool air and it reminds me to look forward to this time of year and think about doing some bike rides again, which I haven’t been on since last winter.

I’m surprised my body isn’t more stiff this morning, as I spent about 17 hours in bed yesterday, either sleeping or reading. I read a great Paul Jenkins story called Revelations and, despite being tired, read the whole six issues. A great Vatican murder conspiracy with awesome artwork.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Chatting with Matt a little yesterday about maybe jamming some music together soon. To be honest, I’m a little scared as I really am hopeless at playing guitar and haven’t been excited enough to practice much recently.

I do also recognise, though, that doing something creative would give me more reason to practice and improve myself. I’m talking myself into doing it.

The best thing about today was:

Organising more things on my computer, in my room and on my blog. My old MacBook has finally given up, so I’m trying to get my music altogether on my old iMac, which is still going pretty well these days.

I was glad to spend a fair few hours in there today instead of succumbing to any afternoon snoozing.

Jet took this picture because she was messing around with my phone. One of my favourite students, Fah, and that’s Anchan working in the background.

Nothing You Say – 28th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In the game, I’m in the zone
Flowing beyond all your shouting
Laser-focused on the ball alone
Oblivious to all your doubting

There’s nothing that you contribute
Because you have nothing to lose
Distraction is your foremost attribute
I’m strong enough to ignore the boos

You don’t have skin in the game
So you have nothing I want to hear
Everything said is always the same
My silence sends my message clear

Inspired by a David Elikwu thought that applies to those friends who always think that they know best.

Today I’m feeling:

Quite well rested though my body is still sore from exercise. I only did seven minutes for two mornings and my body is really feeling it. This is a message to get back to a routine and rebuild some strength. Now that I’m almost out of this weird illness, I’m feeling positive about it.

I’m also a little tense this morning as I wait for the AFL grand final to start! Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if Sydney wins or loses but I do enjoy supporting my team and being part of this little tribal dance.

One thing I love about AFL is that, despite the rivalries and shit-talk, there is no real aggression between supporters. Once the game is done, it’s done.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Takky for keeping Amy occupied for the afternoon and evening. They are screaming, singing, dancing and singing in the living room whilst I try to concentrate on reading!

The best thing about today was:

Lots of comic book reading. Shadowman, 2000AD, Judge Dredd Megazine, Justice League Dark and especially enjoyable was Ekho, a fabulous European fantasy adventure.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Well, it appears that Sydney, once again, forgot to turn up to play the last game of the year and it was all over by half time, after which I soon tuned out, went to bed and fell into an afternoon nap whilst reading comics.

Another season over. It was a good one in general.

Something I learned today?

Finally, the cheap London Town shaving cream is available online again so despite having already bought other expensive options to try, I ordered a couple of cans to keep for the future. I hate shaving. So boring!

Baitoey took this picture a couple of days ago because… I don’t know why but I go with the flow.

Since Candide – 27th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Since Candide, suffering continues

Existential anxiety remains

Unreconciled with our worldviews
And what our nature explains


Incoherent and senseless
Are we significant at all?
Absurdity undermines purpose
To applaud or to appeal?



To fill the void with meaning
The pursuit of pleasure or power

Afflicts society’s dreaming
Making all our thoughts sour


Down in deepest depression

Addiction rises to the fore

Ideology turns to aggression

The neurotic triad score


Put it all in order, truth

Beauty and justice to prevail

For the sake of creation, proof

There is no win or fail


Absurd joy par excellence
It’s in the act, the doing

The ephemeral quality of existence

Meaning worth pursuing


The love of nature, the love of art

An admiration of a story told

The love of work plays a part

That’s the love on which to hold



What is the meaning to be chosen?
The stance taken on this burden

A call to action thaws unfrozen

A decision made becomes certain



Courage and honour found

In the darkest circumstances

Thoughts and attitude profound

And Candide’s life advances

Inspired by this article on the meaning of suffering at Philosophy Now

Today I’m feeling:

Quite good after falling dead asleep again last night before 10.30. I woke up sometime earlier this morning, though with Fleetwood Mac stuck in my head for some reason. It could be worse, I guess.

Did a little exercise again, noticing that the little that I did yesterday already had me aching in the legs. It will be good to get back to that good ache, though.

By the afternoon, I could barely walk up stairs! I had run out of energy and motivation and left my last class mostly to their own devices, which they were happy enough with too.

I stopped taking any Tramadol a couple of weeks ago, not for any particular reason, I just figured I’d have kratom and give the T’s a miss and see how I felt and as I didn’t have any withdrawal dizziness as I usually experience (I guess I did still have dizziness though it seemed different somehow) I just ended up not taking it.

That could be part of the reason that I’m not quite so focused in my thoughts and a little more scattered than usual. It could also be part of the low energy and motivation situation, too.

Anyway, as I’m feeling reasonably mentally stable, I’ll keep going for a while longer and see if things balance out.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The sudden message to go and sign our financial documents means that we should get paid early next week. I’ve just about managed to make it through this month without having to ask for credit. This is the first time since November last year, after messing up my visa and having to pay a bunch of extra fees to fix it again.

The best thing about today was:

Getting some presentation lessons prepared during my first class, who were busy catching up with work for other classes (or sleeping) and I wasn’t particularly interested in teaching either.

The lessons are not especially exciting but they give the students more information to improve what they will present next semester. I plan for them to present often, so I don’t really have anything more to offer to teach them. Just get them practising.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As I technically had classes for most of the day, I figured that I would spend a bit of time at the school when I had a chance but when I went there at around 11.30, they told me that they had no milk for my coffee!

Well, decision made – back to 22 Grams. I can’t make it my regular spot as it’s a little too far from school and I am really missing House. I hope Gui gets it together to clean up and open again for next semester!

Something I learned today?

Yesterday, when I was talking with Noah and Poppy, Stang also came up to listen in and he asked me if any of the teachers were my friends.

Er…yes, I said…though thinking to myself, well, not really. I mean, I’m fine with everyone but I wouldn’t call any of the teachers my friends.

Stang then asked why I don’t hang out with the teachers and as I was thinking about it, he added, ‘you like kids?’ to which the girls were shocked and laughed too.

I was thinking how to answer them and agreed that I actually prefer hanging out with the students because, for me, we are on the same level. I told them that I didn’t like the Thai style of the teacher being above and the student below and that they must defer all the time. They agreed and hate it too. They know it’s not right.

Also, as an aside to this, I know Stang had an ulterior motive in asking about this, as he pushes the boundaries to see how close he can get to me physically. I’ve felt this since I first met him in grade 7, and he is obviously trying to figure himself out and how to approach boys that he likes.

I’m happy that he feels comfortable trying that with me and it hasn’t gone too far. I’m not sure how he fits in with his classmates. He’s openly expressed his homosexuality but never heard any of his classmates discuss it in particular. He is a big kid too; not fat but tall and chunky.

As ever, it is fascinating to watch all these kids grow and mature.

In his class in the afternoon, I happened to wander in and Namkhing was sitting in a corner and I was struck by how suddenly her face had changed to be that of a young woman, whereas only seemingly last week she still looked like a cherubic schoolgirl.

Amy (on the left) took this picture because we were all waiting around to go into classrooms and she stole my camera from my pocket and started snapping away. Amy, me, Chompoo, Stang.

China! China! China! – 26th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

The Bomb-happy boys enjoy
Another day of telling me who to hate
A dollar for each member of the population
To turn them against their state

Every accusation a clear admission
Of practices tested, tried and true
Never let the facts stand in the way
If you understand what’s good for you

The collapse is soon arriving
As it has been for decades already
A stopped clock is right twice a day
So let’s keep the message steady

Achievements must be suppressed
With the suffix ‘but at what cost?’
Assistance labelled as a debt-trap
Is just an advantage that was lost

When a people claim they are happy
It must said that they have no choice
But if one chooses not to listen
What purpose is your own voice?

As red lines keep being crossed
And its no longer seen just as a game
The pretense must be maintained
So that it’s understood who to blame

So the plan is to keep those people poor
A useless tactic, pitiful and sad
And to push them towards a war
To remind you all that China is bad

A 1.6 billion US dollar budget for anti-China propaganda – is that a dollar for every Chinese person? The Western world seems to be the most propagandised people on Earth. Don’t believe anything you read. Believe what you have seen – and then only trust half of that too. China is not the enemy.
4th Dec 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – collapse

Today I’m feeling:

Well slept this morning as I got a good, solid eight-hour sleep in which I hardly moved throughout the night. I don’t know why I was so energy-deprived yesterday.

I had set my alarm a little earlier to do a little exercise this morning, which I duly did, without pushing myself too hard. I have put on a couple of kilos since getting sick and skipping exercise for the past couple of months. On the upside of that, my shoulders have stopped aching, though. Still looking for balance.

(Later) I’m feeling a bit weird again. A little dizzy and unsteady, as if I’m really hungry. I snacked on some cookies and another coffee, noticing that my hand was trembling a little bit. I seem to be going through all the feelings from good to bad in just a single day!

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Praew, who told me again that she will move schools after this semester finishes next week.

As part of our class today, I got the kids to do a gratitude exercise. I called up a few students to ask them to tell me something that they are grateful for today.

It was interesting to watch them thinking of answers and that they could probably answer in Thai easily enough but I pushed each of them to try their best.

Praew can’t express herself much at all in English, though, so I let her use her phone to translate and she wrote me a nice message thanking me for loving her and taking care of her in class when she struggled so much.

I wished her the best of luck in her new school and hope that she can overcome her difficulties.

The best thing about today was:

Chatting with Poppy and Noah about all sorts of things, getting a little deeper than usual. I think that they appreciated the help that I gave them with their play earlier this semester.

It has been nice to watch them (and the others in their class) mature over the past three years.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I just discovered by chance this morning that we are supposed to be teaching our classes as normal again. I guess I missed a message somewhere.

However, it is only for the juniors, whom I teach in the afternoons. So I have to wait around all day just for them.

Never mind, though, the semester will be over at the end of next week.

(Later) As it turned out, even my seniors wanted me to come to class, so I dashed back to see them but when I got there, they weren’t interested in study (and I wasn’t motivated to teach anything either).

I sat with them for a while before going off around school to chat with whoever I came across.

Metronome – 25th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Nature
Encompasses
Earth, wind, water and fire
A natural concert of peace
For life

Balance
In harmony
A symphony rises
Interconnecting timelessness
Steady

A double cinquain submitted to Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Nature’s Symphony

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good on waking again and all was good at school until I was just about to head off in search of coffee. A huge downpour soon flooded all the paths and the roads, already chockers with cars dropping off kids.

The rain didn’t stop for a good 40 minutes or so and I wondered whether to just head to 22 Grams or bother looking for another cafe.

I opted to keep looking and thankfully, at Couple Cups (recommended by Art at Utopia) there was a parking spot right outside. Even so, I got saturated just getting to the front door!

I’ve been here for almost 4 hours, mostly reading and my eyes are getting blurry and dusty. I’m not feeling too bad, though.

Off home to pick up Tigger and take him to the vet for his follow-up check from last week, He seems all well and good now.

I talked to the kids in my one class that I have this afternoon and they said that they would prefer not to have any work set! Uh-huh!?

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

My first interactions on Instagram after putting up some poetry there, even though I’m sure that they are just promotional accounts looking for business.

I was also grateful to get an unexpected refund from Shopee for some trousers I had paid for and forgotten all about. I ordered a shirt and some multivitamins and still had a little left to spare.

I’m feeling a little more secure financially this month so that when Amy just came and showed me a picture of two ginger kittens, I immediately said yes, let’s get them!

The best thing about today was:

Doing something different for food today. Even though it wasn’t wow, it was nice to have a change of routine.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’m running out of energy again after getting home at lunchtime and coming back to the city with Tigger. I feel like I need to eat.

Amy suggested dropping Tigger off at home and going off for pizza as soon as we can. Sounds like a plan.

(Later) We did that and I ate a lot! When we got back home, I closed my eyes whilst listening to videos of talk about the grand final this weekend.

But no rest as we were soon off to visit Khaotang to help her with her school assignment.

Whilst we were there, though, a Grab rider got knocked off his motorcycle by a truck that sped off and the guy didn’t look in good shape.

I stayed inside, trying to concentrate and told KT that she shouldn’t go to look either.

By the time all the ambulances and other vehicles had cleaned up, I’d finished putting together the text for her to read and understand.

She has some problem with this Thai teacher because he gave her grade 1 when their foreign English teacher gave her grade 4. My guess is that her English is actually better than the Thai teacher’s!

Something I learned today?

Chiang Mai is starting to flood now! Nong May has just arrived and Amy’s old flatmate will be coming next month and we were planning to go and meet everyone.

Maybe plans will change.

Please – 24th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Do you want to discover who you are
Or do you want someone else to tell you?
What is it gonna be?

Submitted to Weekend Writing Prompt #382 – Please (22 words)

My name in LandSat – just for a little fun:

Today I’m feeling:

Well slept and pretty good on waking. Not quite enough to get up a little earlier and do some exercise but at least I’m feeling better.

I got to school and because it has been raining, the kids aren’t out doing any more cleaning just yet. Much of the mud is clear now anyway.

We got advised to just send work in LINE to our classes, which essentially means that I could go back home but I’m at 22 Grams for now. I’ve set the kids some work to send me and so I’m back to catching up on reading and writing some more.

(Later) I got a little screen blind sitting, looking at my laptop all morning, so I headed home and did a little shopping.

When I got home, though, I couldn’t resist a little snooze after reading a little of David Foster Wallace’s Consider the Lobster. There was a big dark rain keeping things cool and I managed to snooze with just the window open.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Receiving an email from Jake back in Australia, replying to an order he placed with me back in April!

He seems to be doing ok though, still dealing with some anxiety issues with certain people. I told him I still have my ups and downs, too.

The best thing about today was:

Discovering that we would have classes (of a sort) today, though we could just ‘phone them in’, allowing me to sit in the cafe and do my stuff.

It wasn’t as uplifting as yesterday and I think, as I’m caught up on a fair bit of reading and writing, I should switch to doing some more lesson planning for next semester.

I miss the chairs and tables at House that I have grown accustomed to, though. I’m not so comfortable at 22 Grams. I should also check out a different space or two tomorrow. Want to get that flow back again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Out of the blue, KhaoTang called up Amy about having trouble with some class work at her school.

She was typically over the top, saying that she’s gonna die and it took a while for Amy to calm her down. KT has some kind of disorder from being smart and overweight and getting bullied when she was younger.

It was odd though, as we haven’t really talked with her often since early 2022 when Amy went off to Australia and we stepped back a bit from her and her mum as they brought too much drama to our quiet lives.

Amy got a little wound up by this latest drama but decided to help, which also involved me having to help.

It’s actually a typical Thai teacher situation that has created the problem for KhaoTang and once we got more information from her, we could understand more about how to help.

We asked her to redo her work again, now that she clearly understood the requirement and will check in on it tomorrow.

We like to help students and already have a kind of relationship with KT but she still exhibits a great lack of social skills that I’m pretty sure come from her upbringing (I don’t want to blame her mum completely).

It’s not uncommon here in Thailand either, as I have come across similar situations at my school too.

Something I learned today?

I read a lot, the info went into the brain and there it seems to be stuck. I guess there was nothing of particular significance today but hopefully that nugget of wisdom rattling around will find good use at some point.

I took this picture because this little cutie was chilling on top of a car outside 22 Grams.

A Reconciliation – 23rd September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 18 Comments

How to make something happen, how
To meet what’s left for me head-on
It’s a long road travelled upon
So what dreams of the future now?

I ran so fast to get ahead
After all the rushing around
I’ve found my feet stuck to the ground
How to make something happen, how

Can I learn from my past mistakes
Blindly followed the loudest voices
Crossroads offer too many choices
So what dreams of the future now?

How to make something happen, how
To reconcile the debris of all that’s gone?
So what dreams of the future now?

A reflection on getting older and wondering what might be next. I’m reasonably happy with my life and feel a little lack of ambition. This could be the folly of comfort but I’m tired too.
Shared with dVerse Poetry Form: Villonnet and Poets and Storytellers United – dreams and also for a course at AllPoetry.com
17th Dec 2024 – Published at Edge of Humanity

Today I’m feeling:

A little better again this morning. It was good to see more kids around school and I’ve managed to get out a little bit for a coffee kick start.

I sent a message to Kru Mai at around 10 am to see what was going on and was told that I could find 2/7 and help them out with cleaning.

So I went back to school but it was an hour and a half before I found them and they were just sitting and waiting in the canteen.

I helped out a little here and there as I was walking around but it was very disorganised and chaotic, though some of the motivated kids were doing a lot of work.

I found Jet and asked her what her class was supposed to be doing in the afternoon and her reply (as was everyone’s) was just ‘cleaning’. Whatever that might entail. She said she will probably ‘jump’, meaning skipping out of school and I laughed and said ‘same!’

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Having options for other coffee shops now that House won’t be available for a while.

I tried Hobby this morning but the coffee is not to my taste, really and also expensive at 70 baht.

In the afternoon, I went to 22 Grams, where at least I know the coffee is great but that is also 70 baht too.

Maybe I will try a couple of other places this week just to see what else is out there.

The best thing about today was:

Getting into a real flow again this afternoon whilst at 22 Grams. I caught up on a lot of reading and a bit of writing and also worked out some other ideas for publishing poetry on Instagram and Substack.

I ended up spending almost 4 hours there and was in a good mood, so I thought to drop back by school on the way home just to check in with what was going on.

However, literally as I crossed the road to my car a huge storm rained down and traffic slowed as rain flooded the roads, possibly as most of the drainage was still blocked from mud.

I decided to skip school, though it took me a fair while to get back home as the rain pelted down all the way.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’d thought that I would pick some things up from Makro on the way home too but the rain put the kibosh on that.

Not to worry, if the rest of the week goes like today, there should still be opportunity to do a little shop one afternoon.

Something I learned today?

I learned a little bit about setting up Substack to publish and then also started investigating the Buy Me A Coffee app, though I struggled to figure out how to add the widget or embed it on my pages so far.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I ended up giving Film my copy of Childhood’s End today. I hope he can enjoy it and get something out of it.

Praewa took this picture because she wanted to take photos of me helping to clean, which was a good idea just in case I got asked if I had helped at all!

Second Thought – 22nd September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

Burn all the books
It’s a cultural revolution
All the thoughts thought
Provided no solution

Dump it in the trash
Far away from winning
The sign says “not in use”
Start again at the beginning

With a second thought
Philosophy is stupid
Is it a world of facts?
Or is it only reputed?

Inspired by Existential Comics 551

Today I’m feeling:

Not too bad today, at least in the morning. I got up at a reasonable time, partly in preparation for going back to school tomorrow at the normal time.

I spent a few hours at Utopia reading and writing and could get myself into the flow for that which felt good.

By afternoon, though I ran out of energy and napped and have been lazy and run down since. I hope that feeling doesn’t carry over to tomorrow.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Noey being back from overseas and bringing me a couple of small gifts and making my coffee today. It was good to see her again and it sounded like she had a great time on her travels.

The best thing about today was:

Hmm – today felt like a day of two halves, the first with energy and positivity and whilst I still felt positive later, my lack of energy was disappointing. So nothing in particular stands out to me today.

Something I learned today?

I made my first poetry Instagram post today and will start learning more about it and give it a go to try and get some more eyes on my writing somehow. With no friends or followers added yet, though I have had zero views in 8 hours!

I also updated my MacBook and iPhone, which now means that I can mirror the iPhone and write directly from my keyboard into this app. This makes writing a lot easier and I would only have been able to do it before by paying for the premium option.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

By following students on Instagram, I found out that today is Rista’s birthday and so I sent her birthday wishes. She’s a nice, lively kid and I like her a lot.

Step Into The Light – 21st September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments
Image Credit: Danial Burka @ Unsplash

So tired of being in the dark and all alone

There’s still a mountain to climb
And will the promise there hold true?

Step into the light I keep telling myself…

Step into the light I keep telling myself…

Step into the light I keep telling myself…

Submitted to WDYS #254 (above picture prompt). The title and first line is from Archers of Loaf’s ‘Step Into The Light’ and constitute the whole of its lyric! I haven’t added much more but it represents the dark headspace I’ve found myself in recently.

My reply to this post about sitting on the fence and UK politics

I could admire Thatcher as a woman dealing with a man’s world, but as a politician I despised her.

It’s impossible to say how things would have gone if she was never elected but I see the decline of the UK starting with her.

I appreciate that things were on the decline before that but this was visible during my lifetime and one of the reasons I was glad to leave the UK in the 90’s.

“Is it so wrong to sit on the fence?” – I constantly consider this, perhaps a reflection of my own Englishness. People who don’t sit on the fence seem to have more charisma and confidence but I find the world far more grey.

I also consider that I shouldn’t express an opinion if I am not fully aware of the facts.

Today I’m feeling:

A little dizzy and out of sorts. I was up early to get to my hospital appointment and forgot to even grab a coffee first.

As I was driving here, just over the bridge, there was a loose flock of sheep on the highway and one had been hit and killed, lying in the middle of the road.

There’s still garbage and drying mud everywhere at the sides of the roads and the vague fences that used to hold in animals are all flattened.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Not taking too long at the hospital this morning and getting back to enjoy a couple of coffees before lunch.

The ENT doctor didn’t seem too worried and just prescribed some more meds and told me to come back in two weeks’ time.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing reading Childhood’s End and enjoying it a lot.

It got me in the mood to watch Interstellar tonight as my student Film kept raving about it. I enjoyed it too, but only really appreciated it in the last 20 minutes or so when some of the earlier parts of the movie started to make sense.

I think I will lend Film Childhood’s End to read. His English is pretty great and I think he can understand most of it and would enjoy it.

Something I learned today?

I know what my throat looks like now after having a tube camera stuck in my mouth. Apart from the mucus stuck inside, things in there look good and healthy.

Brisbane managed to get over Geelong today in a tough match, losing one of their players to injury too.

It bodes well for the Swans next week, except for a couple of things.

Today, Brisbane played at the MCG, where next week’s game will be played. They are also last year’s losing finalists, which gives them extra motivation.

Having said that, most of our team played in the losing final the year before that, so that motivation is there for us too.

Thinking about following sports is something that at least keeps me focused on the now. I understand the appeal to others of sports that I have no interest in.