Stuck in the lobby with Socrates
There’s no wifi, it’s kinda mid
A peace without joy, it’s no heaven
A torment for the untormented
Simps and himbos in eternal rizz
Cleopatra has lost control
With storms eternally buffeting
One step further down in the hole
The overstuffed couldn’t put the fork down
These foodies drowning in their slop
Cerberus’s claws and icy rain
Torment those who can never stop
Hoarders push boulders at each other
Nicolas Third forgot to share
Not enough hands to carry their wealth
Their futile labour gets nowhere
There’s toxic fights, twenty-four seven
This is Twitter but IRL
In the muddy waters of the Styx
The sullen gurgle down the swell
The unbelievers will be denied
Edgelords buried in flaming tombs
Stationed around the City of Dis
Farinata’s power consumed
Murderers boil in rivers submerged
Centaurs guarding the Phlegathon
Tyrants terrorised, contrapasso
Ever downward, the river’s run
Doomers in the forest are hanging
Trapped inside thorny bleeding trees
While harpies shriek and tear at them
Or chased by black dogs of disease
No water succours the blasphemers
The fiery sand forever burns
Eyes stitched open to the divine skies
Phlegaton flows towards new turns
Scammers, fakes and corrupt CEOs
The flatterers submerged in shit
Boied in pitch or buried upside down
From panderer to hypocrite
Ultimate backstabbers, zero rizz
Satan’s chewing on the traitors
His three mouths full, a mukbang gone wrong
For treacherous perpetrators
In Antenora, a father wails
Gnawing the skull that sealed his fate
His children plead, one by one
A feast of love and burning hate
Yet Satan weeps, powerless and cold
Absent of love, absent of rage
From purgatory towards the stars
Through hell to a coming of age
Inspired by a little research after writing Through The Nine Circles. I haven’t read Dante’s Inferno and used DeepSeek to give me more information about it. However, I had been using that session of DeepSeek to write Gen Alpha bylines for sharing notes on Substack and so initially got information on the nice circles of hell in Gen Alpha speak! And so I ran with it, without overdoing it.
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