“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
The house and pool, a shiny car
There’s a driving need we must
We think these define who we are
But our lives are held in trust*
We may fight together or alone
But we are looking at it wrong
*So what is it that we own?
Just our lives and not for long*
*Almost direct quotes from Marcus Aurelius. Inspired by the 4th December entry of the Daily Stoic.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for a long weekend this weekend and next weekend!
I am so happy and grateful to have a sleep-in this morning. I could have gotten up but the cold and my tiredness drew me back to my dreams. I’m lucky to be able to afford the time to do that.
I enjoyed my sleep so much last night that it kinda scared me. I was so deep and down in my dreams every time I woke up, I wondered if I had died. The pull was compelling.
I didn’t get up with my alarm because of this and because it was damn cold too. Getting up early during the winter is tough. I’ll have to push on through if I want to maintain my exercise routine. Not helped by the fact that next Monday and Friday are holidays.
Two classes this morning and I relaxed a bit with the students in anticipation of their laziness for next week. I can adjust my lessons accordingly. I have to teach Na again for an hour tomorrow and I’m really not sure what to do with her yet. Maybe some preference questions and philosophical style work that require a little more thought. I’ll figure it out in the morning.
I want to get more writing entered to the blog too, change my room again, listen to more music, watch less TV, do some other exercise while it is cooler.
21st Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for our washing machine that can fit a doona inside. Needed today as Tigger peed on Amy’s last night.
I was super tired last night and got into bed at about 6.30 pm. I read for a bit and then slept and slept very well, even when Amy woke up and turned the light on as Tigger peed on the doona right next to her head! I don’t know why he pees everywhere at random times. If there is something wrong, he doesn’t show it. He’s really happy most of the time, with us at least.
He fought with Kim Chi a few days ago and was having a go with Cap yesterday, too. Usually, if we see something starting, though, it seems to be Cap that starts it. He’s stupid like that! Tigger is much bigger and stronger.
Two good classes this morning and I will only do a little easy work tomorrow in preparation for a 3-day week next week. Thailand certainly enjoys its public holidays.
I’ve become involved in helping Champ with plans for the students to do a TED Talk video. I’m not sure what it involves just yet but I think it’s good to be asked to be involved. It’s a little bit of a show thing and I would prefer just to be encouraging all students to put in more effort day to day.
I’m feeling ok, though I may flake out again early tonight. I’ve been getting up a little earlier and I realise that my morning exercise has moved up to about 30 minutes from the ten minutes or so when I started doing this. I feel good after exercise and I’m definitely working off the weight but I will need to find a better balance and increase my food intake again.
Apart from breakfast, I generally only eat lunch and then snack on nuts in the evening. I’ve managed to push my lunch until 3 pm, so I have two long periods with no food intake. Just water and coffee between breakfast and late lunch.
The abs routine is getting tougher but I struggle my way through and don’t feel inclined to give up as I may have done in the past.
Inspired (and butchered) by a reply to a letter to Nick Cave at The Red Hand Files newsletter
and submitted to Thursday Inspiration #246
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that our cats seem to have recovered. Cap from a bad stomach and Kim from wounds after a big fight with Tigger. Tigger has been very well recently though his fur is starting to make him look old.
I was planning to do some preparation and reading and writing this afternoon but Fui brought his teenage son and daughter to House and I ended up talking with all of them for most of the time! Fui’s kids study in Singapore, and have done for many years. I’m not sure why and didn’t ask, but it’s interesting to get their perspective on things especially as English has become their first language.
My one class this morning was with 2/11 and it went well. I got them more involved by helping me to learn the Thai words for all the English vocabulary that I wanted them to remember. So, I’m feeling good.
A rest day from the abs workout. I can feel that there is less fat on my chest and my ribs are becoming more visible. I like this healthier me. As with anything, I should’ve started sooner. I’m still thinking about that time of brushing off Rupert when he started lifting weights at school. I was all about smoking and drinking. I was lucky that my metabolism sustained my skinny body into my late 30s and only the beer started sticking on my hips.
OK – back to it. More free time tomorrow afternoon to finish off this preparation.
Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 47
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the two chairs we have on our front porch where we can watch the sunrise over the mountains on these cool winter days.
A quick one today as I dash out in between classes. Both my classes this morning were great and all students took part. It seems weird that last week parents were complaining about me and then this week students seem to be trying harder. Hopefully, the parents pushed their children a little too.
It makes me feel more confident in what I’m doing. One more class this afternoon and then some time to read and plan. Just one class tomorrow, so lots of free time to prepare for next week.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for this crunchy strawberry muesli – it’s delicious. I look forward to breakfast every morning.
Try to get some writing in today as tomorrow I probably won’t have time. I did briefly talk with Hayden yesterday. He was out on a walk at the beach with his mum, so we didn’t talk for long. He seemed pretty happy after doing his care training. It’s early days but I hope he keeps it up and starts to feel the rewards of the work.
I sat down with my first class this morning – the wonderful 2/9. Whilst about 80% of the class do my work, there are a few who are struggling. The work is not hard once you understand what’s required. I sent all the class out except the 4 students who didn’t do my work last week and with the help of the leaders, explained how to think about my work. I’m hoping they understood a little bit and will put in a little more effort. I told them that if they don’t do anything, how can I know what to grade them? That trying and being wrong is better than not doing anything.
I think I’m going to do the same thing with my afternoon class – my least favourite class – 2/10. I’m hoping that this approach will ward off any more parent complaints. I was thinking over the weekend how the parents and many teachers just want their kids coddled through school. Pretty pictures and Venn diagrams.
I must admit to being a little lazy now at finding more engaging methods of teaching. The whole online/in-school fortnight is a bit of a challenge and I’ve tried to make it so that the method for the kids is the same in and out of class. We’ll get there. Keep going until they fire me.
22 Sep 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for all the opportunities I took when I was in Sydney. To be inspired and then later, to inspire others.
21st Sep 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – ferocious
Leopold – The Wreck of Hope
CD on Total Annihilation Records
I’m always checking out new music, mostly through Bandcamp pages. This album was mentioned on the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast, which is going through the SST catalogue. At the beginning of each episode, the hosts (Brant and Ryan) talk about other items of interest that they’ve been listening to. Brant leans more on the metal side of things whilst Ryan is more in the noise rock direction so my ears prick up when he mentions something he likes and so it was with Leopold. I had a quick listen on their Bandcamp page and liked it enough to contact them about buying the CD.
Usually, I’m fine with just a digital copy but I think I was feeling comfortable with my bank account balance at the time that I shot off an email to find out how much it would cost to get a copy sent to Thailand. It was ridiculously expensive, the shipping costing one and a half times more than the actual CD. But having made the enquiry I felt obligated to buy it and in the end, glad that I did.
Quebradita Num. 4
This pummelling intro has me hooked already. Jesus Lizard-like, before a change of pace into a chugging bassline and some screeching guitars that have a wonderfully sharp tone. And here’s the riff, which has a nice Drive Like Jehu melody and timbre. The vocals are reminding me of my good friends from When Chimps Attack. I think this could have been what attracted me to buy this CD. I still wish the Chimps had made 10 more albums, so this is a nice addition to my album collection. Some nice high-neck guitar action breaks into the melodies and then there’s this funky Iron Maiden break. Er…perhaps funky isn’t the right word. It’s great!
Yes My Love
Oh, some skronking sax! Excellent. Great off-kilter rhythms that swell to a wicked bouncing chorus, if it could be called a chorus. Air punching, floor punching good stuff. Followed by a spacious guitar to let the bass and drums flow. Nice dynamics. Now chilling…is it going to stop? It feels like a wind-down. And that’s it.
Junior Perkins
Jesus – it’s the Ace of Spades warped into a noise rock blur with buried vocals trying to punch their way out of a sleeping bag. The guitar tone is sharp and piercing, just the way I like it. Doubled vocals make me want to sing along but all I can make out is ‘get me out of here.’ I think I would like these lyrics. And it’s over as quick as you like.
(Another Killer In) Texas
A nice switch of pace after the previous frenzy but the whole band soon gets busy again, pulling everything together into a ferocious pounding force. Sinister and foreboding the song lurches forward, stalking the listener down the darkened streets. Suddenly cornered and roaring, the killer pounces, your guts are twisting, head exploding. Here it comes again. You’re dead.
Bag
A galloping pace, this one jumps out of the gate and feels like it won’t let up. A break comes a couple of minutes in which allows some breathing space before the anticipated relaunch. A great drum-rolling finale puts the final full stop in the sentence. The bag is broken.
The Wreck of Hope
Is this the opus rock-epic title track? This reverbing intro could go anywhere. Thankfully it dives into a gripping riff-heavy verse and staccato chorus and post bridge these soaring guitars are taking my mind off to faraway places. I’m back now.
Kentucky Nurse
A no-wave guitar freak-out leads this off before we get back to the brutality with an epic guitar sliding riff, flying off a cliff into some dark air. This is bringing me back to the best Chimps’ work.
Lovingstick
Holy ripping intros of death, Batman! Some exceptional noise rocking noise rock, all too brief but nailing each idea to the wall and screaming ‘THIS IS IT’
When Cousins Marry
A creeping pace with some Yow-like whispers, from Jack Brewer no less, before a lovely sax (?) riff gets added to the mix. No chords in sight so far….oh wait – here they are and we’re off, rolling down the freeway, overtaking the Tar Babies on the inside lane, skronking off the turnpike, heading nowhere in particular and without a care. Damn, that drummer is tight, holding the falling bumpers together. Train coming!
Brick Full of Tables
The rhythm section is freaking exceptional I realise by now, having paid too much attention to the guitar tone at first. Ah, this one has a buried chorus I would like to scream into the faces of all the idiots who’ve wronged me. I’ve no idea what they are saying but I’m absorbing the passion. More freak-out guitar before coming together for the chorus again. Time is flying along and I want the songs to last forever. But now we’ve disintegrated together and I’m spent.
There’s lots of great noise rock out there and I can’t quite put my finger on what sets this apart from many of its contemporaries. But, apart it stands.
Favourite songs on this listen: Junior Perkins and Brick Full of Tables.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to go to Game’s new cafe, fulfil, and try new coffee and his wife’s cookies and talked a little to Didi who dropped in. More good coffee in Chiang Rai.
It’s been a good Saturday so far; exercise, coffee, reading more about Slash’s childhood, blogging more poems, a nice drive to a cafe/restaurant for lunch, listening and reviewing the Leopold CD.
The morning sun has disappeared and a grey doldrum has set in that wants me to get out of my room. I still feel content but my mood has deflated. I was going to call Hayden but I don’t have the feeling now. I must do it tomorrow morning.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to Bruno to be able to help me plant a tree from a branch we pulled off from the side of the road. It’s only the size of a flower at the moment but I will plant it one day and watch it grow.
Be thankful for life’s difficulties. Grateful for those who show you disrespect. Thanks to those who judge and criticise without knowing more.
Thank you, Champ. I’m grateful that you let me rant at you and you showed some understanding. I calmed down later and I realised that that is because of you.
Thanks, George, for being consistently rude to me despite my being polite to you. Your behaviour feels like a challenge I can rise above and I’m sure you have your own motives and difficulties to deal with that I don’t understand. I can’t control the way you act so it won’t make me angry. I can control the way I act and respond – that is the test for me. So, thanks!
Thanks to the parents who complain about me as a teacher. I cannot control their actions and they have judged me on the words of their children without any interaction with me, so who am I to assume to know what they are complaining about?
Thanks to this virus that has challenged me to come up with new ways and means to teach and to spend my days.
Thanks to my aching back and sore butt from sitting on wooden chairs all day. Reminds me to move.
Thanks to the difficult students, the lazy ones, the pretenders, they are a constant challenge for me to improve myself.
Yesterday, when I went back to the teacher’s room, I had a long talk with Kru Karn and she couldn’t stop talking! Her English pronunciation is very Thai and she has a limited vocabulary but we had a good chat about all sorts of things and I enjoyed it very much.
I’ll try to have more connective conversations with some of the other teachers too. It’s often difficult to do when there are many teachers in the room but if I can find them alone, I will try. I’m not interested in becoming friends with any of them. In fact, what I think is that I just want to improve their English abilities! My students have better English than some of them!
I’m sitting in Game’s new cafe that just opened today. Another place for good coffee in Chiang Rai. I’m pretty spoiled for choice here.
Weirdly, this has made me think that I want to get another tattoo. I have some ideas for tattoos but haven’t gotten around to following up on them. No hurry, I suppose. We’ve got forever.
I’m doing a free online course about Coleridge that is influencing my writing a little. I don’t like to read poetry much but I do like it when it is explained. Much like the couple of Shakespeare books I picked up. I’m curious about language and its use. Maybe if I study enough I’ll be able to enjoy it without explanation.
Or I can keep on listening to music and enjoy screaming along to the words. I’ve printed out some lyrics that I want to analyse and keep thinking of more, and I also have this stupid plan to review all my CDs, one by one, which will actually force me to listen to them. I estimate that doing one a day may still take me 4 or 5 years to complete. Never mind all the digital music I have!
I still haven’t sat down to listen to the Leopold CD again. Oh well – I have forever, right?
*quote from Stanislaw Lem
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for T. Champ to be understanding about the way I teach. He’s good to be around.
I’m pretty happy this morning to receive lots of messages from my students asking questions or submitting their work. This makes me feel better about my teaching and confirms a little to me that those parents complaining don’t understand what I’m trying to achieve with their kids. It will take a long time to change things in this country.
Is my way better? It doesn’t matter. I am the way I am and I teach what I believe. I just want the students to try and not just think that everything is going to work out whether they put in effort or not.
Sometimes I know I’m intense but it’s my character. I can change it somewhat though I find it hard. I’m also not all crazy strict with the kids and I think they like me. It’s usually the parents who are the problem! I know they have their ways that they want things done. I guess I’m not the person to do that for them! Haha!
Anyway, the good students are doing really well. They make me proud.
I’m starting to miss Amy a little already, even though it’s two more months before she leaves! I’m starting to think about all the extra things that I will have to do for myself and the cats and the house. But this time I want to have music playing all day, every day! That should make things bearable.
I’m thinking about whether to post on the MFU Facebook page for students to come and hang out on weekends and to practice their English – but I’m not sure about this as I value my free time so much!
Hopefully, we get a good holiday in April next year. Perfect! I can practice retirement.
1994ever 