Author: shaun tenzenmen

Australasian DIY music specialist and practising poet, amongst other things

Ordinary Days – 24th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Recalling times without that hand
Holding me, wild and untamed
Seeking excitement and following
An uncontrollable urge

When you came I began to understand
Big ups are followed quickly
By downs, so far down
You smoothed out my graph

Of course, it wasn’t the way I planned
All these years later, still popping
But I’m grateful for the comfort
Of ordinary days

Submitted to AllPoetry.com – antidepressants

Today I’m feeling:

Slow and lazy. Slept until 8.30 and felt lethargic even after morning coffee. 

The sun made it out in the morning and the rain looked distant in the mountains, but by 2p,m it was back and after our car service, we drove over the river into the city and it is already flooded over the side roads. 

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The folks at Nissan for not fucking around and servicing our car in under two hours. Hopefully, they did more than just clean it. I didn’t recognise it at first because it was so shiny and new-looking again.

They said everything was good, though. I don’t care much about cars so long as they work and little Almy has been doing a good job.

The best thing about today was:

Finding some decent words to describe my current feeling of my second post-covid experience.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I didn’t make it out to my room today, as I was tired and our plans changed throughout the morning. I haven’t played guitar for almost two weeks now. 

I just run out of energy and motivation at home these days and end up watching videos. 

I haven’t read many books this year either, though I have read a fuck-ton more poetry.

Feeling a little under the weather for the last few weeks hasn’t helped but I hope I can wean myself off the videos and back to books and guitar again.

Something I learned today?

I was finally able to access the EDSY online trial that some of my students have been trying and was surprised to find Milk, who struggles a lot with English, was #1 of all the students, even beating Momo by a couple of points.

It looks like a reasonable tool to use but I feel that there are some components missing that don’t motivate the students to improve.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

As I checked Milk and Momo’s work in EDSY, I messaged them both to give them encouragement and advise on little things that they could do to improve.

I took these pictures because it was haircut day today. HoiTod reminds me so much of Kim, same size, colour and affection.

Side Of History – 23rd August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Standing amongst the uncertain
As history falls around my inventions
Reverberating into the ground
A violent collision of good intentions

The aches and joys of this moment
Fall down, messy and infallible
No clear line may be drawn
History is an idea rendered irrational

Submitted to Weekend Writing Prompt #377 – Reverberate and inspired (and paraphrased) by the Red Hand Files #296

Today I’m feeling:

A little bit of everything. I could not force myself up with my alarm this morning. I felt a dark ache around my nose, like having a cold but with no other symptoms. Maybe it’s just a covid hangover. I’m still coughing up mucus from my chest but it’s not clearing at all.

I slept for an extra 30 minutes before getting up and slowly started to wind up for the day. And once I was going, I was fine. 

My first two classes with grade 11s were both easy and enjoyable. A quick dash out for another coffee and back for cat-herding my grade 8s, who still managed to make me laugh.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Yoghurt being in stock at Makro and when I arrived there, I was directed to a parking space that was undercover from the rain. Perfect.

The best thing about today was:

…there’s not one thing that stands out in particular. My time at school was very enjoyable all around.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

 Amy told me that it had been raining at home all day and it came to school in the afternoon with torrential downpours. 

When I got home, Amy wanted to go down to the bridge at the end of our Soi where she could see people gathering. It was already flooding on the other side of the bridge and runoff water spilt into the rice field. If the rice field fills, then our houses are next.

It’s stopped raining here but still falling up in the mountains and all that water will be heading down here at some point.

Amy is panicking a little as she sees pictures and stories online of animals and pets being drowned in floods in various parts of the country. I’m not too worried just yet.

Something I learned today?

As Nomsen was lying on the floor to do her work, she accidentally showed off a tattoo across her chest. I asked her about it, and she said that she has six tattoos already! She’s only 13 years old. 

She’s not the best student, but she doesn’t seem to be a stereotypically ‘bad’ girl either.

I told her that in Western countries, you must be 18 to get a tattoo (not that that stops everyone, of course).

Review your acts, Good and bad.

At the halfway point of the year, and halfway point of the three years of junior high for my grade 8s, I’m starting to see who will soon give up and not be able to go further. 

Somehow, these kids are the most fun to interact with and I will still try to keep pushing them, even just to try and fail but never give up.

I took this picture because it is unusual for Tigger to lie down here and he quickly made himself comfortable.

Slow Death – 22nd August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

Softly on the summer breeze, the satin dress
Illuminates the room as she steps into the
Light, gathered at her chest, the guests
Knew not to question the apparent apparition
Eyes greyed blue and deep, she will
Never be yours to keep, but still…..

Broken by all the glamour and gold
Left alone, to suffer the weight of eyes
Under the hammer, bought and sold to
Everyone, where each time she slowly dies

Submitted to Moonwashed Musings – silken blue and also to Ragtag Daily Prompt – blue

Today I’m feeling:

OK, though I fleetingly contemplated sleeping some more just because I was enjoying it so much but I was able to force myself up and exercise and feel pretty good for that.

My dreams were based on running around with my grade 8s after our class yesterday.  The dreams were as enjoyable as the class.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Different teachers helping me to find rooms to teach in, as both my normal rooms were taken over today by students preparing plays to perform next week.  Typically, I only found out by accident, by translating some Thai messages between teachers and realising that it affected me too.

It was all easily sorted and worked out in my favour in the end, too.

The best thing about today was:

Ending up teaching my afternoon class of grade 8s in what is called the Slope Room.  It is basically a small theatre/lecture room and as the floor slopes….that’s how it got its name.

There was already another class of students in there but they were just taking advantage of the air conditioning and weren’t studying.  It’s a big room, so I said that they could stay if they sat at the back quietly and as they were all glued to their phones anyway, it wasn’t a problem.

I gave my students a randomised online quiz based on the six previous reading texts I’d given them, which they should all have had written in their books, catching out those who didn’t bother writing or had left their books at home.  I also told them that they had to keep retaking the quiz until they got 80% correct answers, and as the questions were randomised, it wasn’t so easy for them to just remember correct answers the next time they played.

Slowly, most of the more diligent students managed to complete the task, whilst others called me over to help them, and together we used their books and I led them through finding the answers in the text.

This was the best part of the exercise as the students slowly realised how they can help themselves in the future.  I think that they also enjoyed being in a different environment from the usual stuffy classroom.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As described above, having to change classrooms at short notice, which could have been frustrating, turned out well enough and even pleasurable with the powerful aircon in the Slope Room.

Something I learned today?

A couple of days ago, Momo told me about a new online tool her class is using called EDSY, and today I tried to use it, but couldn’t find a way to create an account.  Momo pointed me to the website, which in turn directed me to a LINE account, where I eventually found out that it is being used as a trial project between the school and EDSY.

Amazing that I find out these things from students and not from our school!

Also, Takky came over this evening and said that his department had been approached for an English camp by someone at the school.  They were offering to pay just 6000 baht for two days, teaching 150 kids!  I chuckled when he told me.

I took these pictures with Nudee’s phone as she had left it on the table when she went outside the room. I didn’t realise that it was hers and when she came back in, she didn’t look amused and left again. Some others pulled me over and said ‘Period. Period. Nudee’s got her period’, implying that she’s in a bad mood. But at the end of the class, she was laughing and happily sent me the pictures when I asked her. In the pictures are Techit, Auto and Aunwar.

Insatiable Child – 21st August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

I don’t know why
She bent to my will
Years later
It confuses me still

Why did she
Fulfil my dreams
Ignoring her own
As I played my schemes

I was the child
Though she was younger
I was insatiable
She fed my hunger

Submitted to dVerse Quadrille #206 – bend

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good after sleeping well. A little bit of exercise again, where my body felt good immediately afterwards, though it was also telling me that it would be great to go back to sleep again. That will have to wait, though.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Karn encouraging her grade 8 students to commit to the assignment that I set and do so in their free time. 

Most of them complied, and it was actually a fun, though slightly chaotic, afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

Starting some little Instagram videos of a little stupid idea I had. I got three done at random times today and have sent them to Jet to see if she can fancy them up a little before posting them online.

Also, the grade 8 classes that I talk about elsewhere here were fun too.

Something I learned today?

Two of my grade 8 students came to me during my afternoon class, claiming that they couldn’t do my assignment, of a three-minute conversation with another (unfamiliar) student, because they were introverted and too shy. Both their English is reasonable too. 

I encouraged them to just try and do it and that afterwards, they would feel much better. Sure enough, they seemed quite pleased with themselves when they had finished.

There were others too, putting up some opposition to this task and I explained to everyone that now is a time to put their learning to use, instead of just filling in gap-fill forms or doing grammar quizzes.

It’s making me rethink what I want to do with these classes next.  I learned a lot from it.

I took this picture from a video that I was trying to do with this student, Best.  I don’t teach her, but she must know me through her friends, as she always wants to talk with me when she sees me. Today though, she couldn’t stop laughing when trying to make the video.

Placard – 20th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 9 Comments

To protest alone demanding to be heard
Upset at the wrong use of the word
Defined by slogan, magnified by fear
More important than contrition here

Any apology draws more contempt
No exclusion, no person exempt
A placard of placation has no effect
What does repetition come to expect?

A madness of masses in individual
A singular dogma conformed to ritual
Angry at the freedoms provided
For all to enjoy themselves divided

I’m still reading Crisis In Culture and finding new inspiration to write.
29th Aug 2024 – Submitted to dVerse – stormy weather

Today I’m feeling:

Not so bad. Amy woke up before my alarm and started looking at her phone and the dull light movements were enough to wake me too.  I covered my head with another pillow but soon enough, my alarm went off.

I managed to motivate myself to do a little exercise, which got my blood moving, which was good.

Both my classes were fairly entertaining and fun, though the rowdy grade 8s were certainly noisy today, but as I gave them the speaking task they’ve been practising again, I wasn’t so bothered.

After class, I ended up stuck in the canteen talking with many, many students.  I was kind of waiting for Jet to appear, as we had discussed her editing some Instagram videos for me and she said she would be around there at lunch time.

Eventually, I left though, back for another coffee and some reading and writing catch-up before heading home.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

A quick power nap from 4 til 5 that, if I hadn’t woken me from, I probably could’ve slept through until morning.  I’m also grateful for Amy’s home cooking, which I haven’t had since Friday, as we’ve either been out or I’ve just made myself sandwiches instead.

The best thing about today was:

Hanging with the students at lunch time was a lot of fun, as I walked around and found new groups to chat with.

I went over to sit with Momo, Baifern, Pan and Namsai, and Momo always gets nervous in these situations because I’ve known her for a long time already. She told me that Pan really wanted to talk with me but that her English wasn’t good enough.

So I went and sat next to Pan and got her talking as much as she could. I told her that the only way to improve is to practice and to talk to me whenever she wants. I think she was happy that I was prepared to make the effort and I was happy that she tried her best too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’d been given a room to teach in for my grade 10s but found that it was being used today so we had to resort back to the library again, which wasn’t too bad in the end.

Something I learned today?

Momo and her friends told me about a new app that they are using to study English called Edsy. I’ll check it out.

Momo took this picture of me and Pan at lunchtime. All the younger tomboys love Pan.

To The Streets – 19th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Blank and empty, heads will reel
Success beckons patriotic appeal
A society stamps a robust seal
To flood and scuttle boats!

Success fills a blank page
With a flood of vitriolic rage
Shouted from a high-street stage
Robust to never fall

Firing blanks, march in time
A robust claim of social decline
Protest success in the migrant line
Fist-floods fuel the fire

A see-saw balance of success
Flood the streets under robust stress
No one wants to be second-best
Blankly shouting slogans

Robust walls; dismantle bricks
A blank slate for new party tricks
Flooding Facebook for the clicks
Success, just another Like away

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 61: success, Word of the Day Challenge – flood, Ragtag Daily Prompt – blank and Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – robust. Loosely inspired by discussion around the purpose and usefulness of protests in the Western world.

Today I’m feeling:

Not too bad after a reasonable and long sleep.

I still have a cough coming from the centre of my chest but generally feeling physically better. I will try to get back to exercise again tomorrow morning.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding my favourite crunchy berry muesli at Big C on the way home from work. It seemed cheaper than usual too.

The best thing about today was:

I enjoyed the look of disbelief on the faces of one of my grade-8 classes this afternoon when I told them that they would have to go and record a conversation with a random student from the other grade-8 class. Now, suddenly, they are realising that others will see their ability and skill level.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was all set for a surprise class with my grade 12 English students, where we would watch the Quiet Night In video but after setting it all up and getting them to write out all the questions in preparation the connection with the projector suddenly stopped working. I spent about 25 minutes trying to sort it before giving up and apologising.

I went downstairs and plugged it in and it was working again. Argh! It’s happened a few times recently and I think it has something to do with the USB-C adaptor playing up so after some coffee resuscitation I went off the Central to spend 2000 baht, that I can’t afford, on a new one. I also ordered just a cheap VGA adaptor online and will try not to open the expensive one unless absolutely necessary. If I get things up and running again with the cheap one then I’ll take the other back for a refund.

I took this picture of this early evening storm rolling in. This was just one direction but it was black to the north and south too.

Come Sail Away – 18th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Face the world alone with your suspicions
Silently wake to the morning’s pledge
Whisper in the darkness all your secrets
Your novel nears the river’s edge

Board the vessel unable to steer
The ache of nostalgia for the past
Alone again, your secrets spilled
The river flows along, wide and vast

Submitted to Wordle 667 at the Sunday Whirl

Today I’m feeling:

Surprisingly good despite only 5 hours of sleep and waking up still drunk. I know it will catch up with me later, but right now I’m getting myself set for the flight back to Chiang Rai.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The Casa Luna homestay in Siam that was in a good location and reasonably priced. Nothing extravagant but everything that we needed.

The best thing about today was:

Getting home. It’s nice to go away but it’s also nice at home. 

I’m also surprised how well I feel considering how much I drank last night.

Something I learned today?

Ipswich lost their first game of their return to the Premier League, 2-0 at home to Liverpool. From the look of the highlights, they seemed to do well for the first 60 minutes, though.

I took this picture yesterday at Union Mall because I was surprised to see a Junji Ito t-shirt here.

Winter/Summer – 17th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 9 Comments

I have no time for winter blues
A clear sky has little else to choose
Gone is the rain
That flooded my brain
It’s a return to the mountain views

Pouring the sunshine out of our hearts
Deep in the valley, the cloud departs
High season, no joke
Then awaiting the smoke
Of burning fields when summer restarts

Submitted to dVerse Zeugmatically Speaking and inspired by other poems written there. Not quite sure I’ve hit the mark with this one and I find limericks to be lazy poems but this one fell into place.

Today I’m feeling:

Slow to go but woke up before my alarm and had to get moving soon enough to get to the airport where I’m sitting now, caffeinated and ready to fly.

Still coughing, slight headache but at least a change of scenery ahead.

Health:

Physical: 5
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

A surprise appearance of Jessica at lunchtime. Amy told me that we were meeting an old high school friend of hers and when we arrived, I was surprised at how much she looked like Jess, and it took me a second to realise.

The best thing about today was:

A little bit of shopping at Union Mall and Central Lad Prao, which Amy let me put on the Westpac card. A new bottle of Bath and Body Works perfume and a shirt and pants for work.

In the evening, we went to the Red Sky bar, which is a rooftop bar where we had expensive snacks and cocktails as part of a deal. It was nice enough but we didn’t want to stay for more.

Amy found a jazz bar and posted pictures on Facebook of the rooftop bar in the meantime. Soon after, we got a message from Aing and we asked her to come and meet us.

We arrived at the Saxophone Bar at around 9 pm and soon enough Aing, Now and Nu arrived and we got stuck into more cocktails and a bottle of Jack Daniels apple flavour.

We had a good time catching up and Amy and Nu enjoyed dancing to the live band.

Afterwards, Aing was kind enough to drop us back to our hotel at around 2.30 am and we quickly got stuck into a short sleep.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I managed to pick up a copy of a book that Baipad really wanted in CentralWorld.

I took this selfie because ‘Let’s go to Bangkok!’

Another One Hundred Years – 16th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A freight train of bodies dumped into the sea
A nightmare lost in the fog of history
Knock down the bridges, build a wall of bones
Shut in with golden fish, the moans
Of a madman to the fringes lifts
Decrepit and depraved, fives and fifths
The swamp city fell under a hurricane
Rose and fell in unfolded patterns again

Submitted to Poets and Storytellers United and inspired by 100 Years of Solitude, which I haven’t yet read but based this on a couple of synopses I found. I’m looking forward to reading this one day.

Today I’m feeling:

Tired, despite sleeping early. I had planned to get back to full exercise this morning but needed an extra 30 minutes’ sleep and even that wasn’t enough.  I’m coughing more and feeling a little wheezy and consequently, my mood is a little low too.

It’s another event day (Lanna and art) so my morning classes are cancelled and I’m free to read and write.  Just my grade 8s in the afternoon and then home.

Tomorrow we’re due to head to Bangkok to surprise Nong Dao for her birthday, though Jimmy sent a message that she has a stomach infection, so we’re not sure if the party they’ve planned will go ahead or not.  We have non-refundable tickets, so we’ll travel anyway.

Health:

Physical: 5
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

A lot of free time again on what is usually my busiest day. I caught up on some reading and did a lot of writing, though was not particularly happy with the output. My brain is still a little uninspired.

The best thing about today was:

Watching my grade 8 class improve after giving them the same speaking exercise but with different partners for three days running. 

I felt like they were actually putting what they learned in class into practice for a change. They also seemed to enjoy themselves.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My cough is a little out of control and I handled it the only way possible, by coughing. Lots of my students are similarly afflicted.

Something I learned today?

This evening, we found out that Nong Dao is in the hospital and her party was cancelled. Oh well, Amy will figure out meeting some other friends and a nice dinner somewhere.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Grade 9 August told me it was her 15th birthday today, so I ducked into the cafe again to buy her a piece of chocolate cake.

Fatman report

The First Time – 15th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Cloth cut and gathered
Then stitched and sown
I rented the suit and tie
She made the dress her own

A true story, my first wedding. Submitted to Weekend Writing Prompt #376 – Handmade

Today I’m feeling:

A little down with a headache behind the eyes.

I didn’t sleep particularly well and woke up at one point with a disconcerting dream where I was trying to find my friends in an AFL stadium but ended up outside, around a car parking area and went through a fire exit door that led into a dank dark wide stairwell and off to the side, a cavernous tunnel dug through the concrete, dirt and rock, the pathway littered with old beer bottles.  Obviously, a place for nefarious folks to gather. 

As I stepped through, a dodgy youngster stepped out of the shadow, saying, ‘Well, well, what have we here?  Welcome to The Pricks.’  I replied with a ‘What?’ And attempted to get back to the fire door to exit, somehow knowing and submitting to the fact that I wasn’t going to make it and my legs were as if stuck in treacle.

Unable to face my fate, I woke myself up, wondering who won the football and scared to go back to sleep.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

My old student Cake, who is in grade 10 now, is in the Science Program and aiming to be a doctor.  She took me to the stand where she was demonstrating what worms are made up of and how they work.

She looks and behaves so grown up now that last Thursday, when students don’t need to wear a uniform, I mistook her for a teacher!

Also, Jet, who showed me a little about how Instagram works and Tonaor, who showed me how to follow everyone in their class.

The best thing about today was:

Watching some of my students perform a dance routine that I had seen them practising for the last few weeks. I thought that they were just doing it for fun but I was amazed at how professional they were when they were on stage today.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I arrived back at school at 10:20 to discover that today is Science Day and many of my 10:30 grade 12 class were taking part in it and those that weren’t wanted to go and watch them.  Well, ok, I guess. 

I didn’t know anything about this (though I do know that tomorrow is another event that disrupts my classes) but I rolled with it and went to check it out for a little while too. It was pretty fun, though I’m not sure how the sexy dancing competition fit into the theme of the event but everyone seemed to be having a good time. 

After an hour, I headed back for more coffee and reading and writing ( and my final grade 8) class, asking to skip today to go to the event, but we all knew that it would be finished by then and they were just trying it on. 

I took it easy with them, though and we had a fun class practising what we did yesterday, introductions and asking conversational questions and I came up with an interesting idea for them to try next week. Basically, getting each of my grade 8 classes to go and record themselves interacting with each other, having the same type of conversations. It will push them a little and will show me who is motivated.

Something I learned today?

In the Middle Ages, what we now call a hedgehog was called an urchin. That’s a fairly useless piece of information.

I also heard about a Palestinian man who went to register the birth of his three-day-old twins and came home to find that Israel had bombed the apartment where they were staying (as they had been displaced) killing the babies, their mother (who was a well-liked doctor) and grandmother. 

Sickeningly, some Israeli online commenters said that they were happy to have taken away everything from this man.

This is how terrorists are made.

I took this picture because we had a visitor again when I got home. Uncle cowman had already chased him out one time today but there must be something good with our grass. I didn’t chase him out, hoping to get some free lawn mowing. Our cats looked on, slightly bemused.