Author: shaun tenzenmen

Australasian DIY music specialist and practising poet, amongst other things

The Long Way Around – 5th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

There are things you should and shouldn’t do
No matter what you want
Then there are things you don’t want to do
That you don’t wish to flaunt

On the other side of our innocence
Character is constructed
No longer sailing through green lights
The way ahead obstructed

Things are one way until they’re not
Are you willing to accept?
The challenges being laid down for you
Are creating self-respect

Those broken shards poking at your feet
Makes the path ahead seem longer
But taking responsibility for your life
Makes the foundations stronger

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Flat and down.  I have no classes today as the kids will study online and no one has asked us farang teachers to do that.  I still had to come to school to sign in though and now sitting at House, reading and writing.

I’m reading about resilience as I plan to teach about it in the future and I’m doing my best to keep myself up but the uncertainty at home has me rattled.  I know that I have to do some things to improve the situation.  

Reading about resilience this morning made me consider that I am very good at the world view, dealing with big generalities but not so good at the one-on-one and personal.  I need to make some changes.

Today I’m grateful for:

There being no kids at school today, just a few kicking around doing various sports, allowing me free time, in the morning to read and write and in the afternoon to run around sorting things out (see below).

The best thing about today was:

Getting both our bike and car tax sorted out quickly and easily today.  Different to last year, we got up to the drive-through booth and I handed both sets of paperwork and the lady there didn’t say we had to do one and leave and come back to do the other like last time but she did say that we had to pay cash (not scan) for the motorbike one.  Neither of us had any cash so I told Amy I would come back and do it later.

Anyway, after doing the car tax and paying off my four speeding fines the lady then proceeded to do the motorbike one and said we could scan!  What was that about?  Well, never mind – we got it all done, quick and easy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As we were driving to the transport office I got a call from FedEx about the shipment of records from Taiwan and found out the customs tax on them is 3500 baht!

Thinking that I maybe had a bunch of other speeding tickets to pay, maybe up to 10 I was seeing my money disappear rapidly.  I only got paid yesterday and already more than 10,000 has gone already!

Anyway, what can I do?  If I don’t pay they will get sent back and I’d lose a shit ton more money.  I don’t think I’ll be doing much vinyl anymore.

Something I learned today?

I read up about Charon’s Obol and wrote a poem that references it.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I messaged for a little while with Aida and she told me about how her mum has been beating her since she was little.

She said that her dad left before she was born and I’m guessing that her mum has a lot of unresolved issues.  I don’t get how parents can beat their children though.  It’s wrong.

How do I feel about the year so far?

The year is the year, things have happened, mostly good, some bad and stressful.  

Right now I’m not feeling particularly positive but I feel certain that is just my brain focusing on the negative more than all the good things that are in my life.  

And the past is the past.  What next, what now?

Already Dead – 4th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Slowly sipping on iced lemon teas
Savouring the freshness of the breeze
– Who will prepare the food to bring?
– Who will push and pull the swing?

Feet put up and nestled with a read
Imagining there’s nothing else to need
– Who will make sure the dog is fed?
– Who is gonna bake the daily bread?

When the body is settled in for rest
And doing nothing then becomes a test
– Who will ensure the grass is mown?
– And cut the trees that are overgrown?

Dreaming of more of these lazy days
Wondering what the bee to the flower says
– Who’s gonna counter the middle-aged spread?
– The time to sleep is when you’re dead

Submitted to No Theme Thursday picture prompt. The title borrowed from Crass.

Today I’m feeling:

Tired, dizzy and upset.  I slept very badly, waking at 4 am thinking about Amy and how I haven’t been supportive enough of her.

I was remembering that I had written that when Amy returned from Australia it would be good for her to get some business going and every time we have talked about it it has just felt impossible, in that it feels like it would be too much work for too little return.

Along with the many events since she got back, Grandmum passing, her brother’s wedding (and various issues that that has raised) and friends visiting, it hasn’t really but been easy for her to focus on starting a business too.

But now I feel that this may be able to focus her attention away from sitting around at home and brewing and stewing about things going on.

I started to wonder if one of the reasons that I am generally happier is because I am busy all the time.  I don’t have time to think about the little annoying things that bother me.  Maybe Amy needs that distraction.

I wanted to talk to her this morning about this but she is very grumpy and short with me.  When I asked what was wrong she just said that it was her problem and no one else could help her.  She said it’s nothing about me, that I do everything right, I’m a good husband and she needs to be by herself.

Of course, that could mean anything.  Will she leave again?  Will she leave for good?

I’m really upset about all this but still have to keep my head for work at school.  I’d rather be sleeping and not having to think about all this.  Wild scenarios are playing out in my head and none of them are particularly good.

Today I’m grateful for:

My umbrella.  For my last class (grade 10s) I gave a brief overview of two pieces of work that I wanted them to do, whilst at the same time we would go to the gym to watch one of the students playing volleyball.  Just as we arrived there though the game finished.

I sent the work to our chat group and most of them started doing it whilst a few seemingly slipped away (but I will catch them!).  As they started working though, a huge storm came and flooded the school and also trapped us in the gym on the other side of the football pitch.  We were stuck there for about an hour and I helped everyone who was having difficulty (and I’m chasing those who got away now this evening).

Having planned ahead and bringing my umbrella I made my way back across the field and into the flood! Some kids were trying their best to stay dry whilst others took advantage of the slippery playground and dived headlong across the basketball court.

The best thing about today was:

A poem that I wrote today.  Somewhat inspired by events as written here, it was a challenge to write using lots of metaphors and I feel like I did it well.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Not being in the best of moods I struggled with my first class (grade 8s) this morning as they were unfocussed and doing their very best to wind me up.  I ended up choosing a group of about ten boys, some of who were messing around and I asked them to leave.  Things were a bit easier after that though still a struggle.

I sent a message to their homeroom teacher and deducted 5 points from everyone for their disrespect and then tried to forget about it.

Looking back at old entries here I can see that I have said before that it seems that each year’s students seem to be less and less able (generally speaking) and so it seems this year.  I am teaching out of a book that I used with grade 7s a couple of years ago and many of these grade 8s just look at me bewildered!

I had texted a message to Amy earlier with what I wrote above in the What I’m Feeling section and when I got home she was very upset at what she perceived as an attack on her.  Whilst that was not my intention at all I listened as she finally started to open up and get things off her chest.

(Reading back what I wrote I don’t really see an attack on her (of course we all perceive things differently) and I was really just thinking out loud because there was no communication at all last night)

As she was talking I thought perhaps I have misunderstood some things – particularly when it comes to her happiness.  She tells me that she is happy with things at home, with us but not with the things that she can’t control such as the family issue and dealing with the bullshit builder.

I said that I thought that she was unhappy because of all these things and always talking about returning to Australia.  So perhaps I misread some of this and so she took affront at me trying to find ways to keep her busy.

She is a very good homemaker, a great cook and takes care of most everything around the house and I certainly appreciate that about her.  I do not want her to leave me here again for a long period of time if it’s possible.  Yes, we can both survive by ourselves but I was only happy doing that knowing that we were still together, talking every day and supporting each other.

Amy says that I am very involved with my work and students and perhaps that is something that I need to pull back from somewhat. I know that whilst Amy was away I put all my love into little Kim Chi and all my heart into my work.  Now that she’s here again I need to shift my focus back to her.

We are both still upset and ruminating but at least some talking has happened and we both understand each other a little better.

Something I learned today?

I was chatting with Lin and though she was frustrated that she couldn’t say everything that she wanted in English she did very well. I suggested that next year she change to the English Program but then she told me that her parents want her to be a doctor.

I asked her what she wanted to be and she semi-seriously said a K-pop idol.  I asked if she could sing and she sang me a little song. I then asked her about dancing and she said she could but she was too shy to demonstrate.

When I suggested that being shy won’t help her to be an idol she changed her mind to be a gangster’s wife!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I chide myself for my selfishness and lack of understanding of the person closest to me in my life.

I chide myself for a lack of imagination and taking things for granted when it comes to taking care of our relationship.

Good Book – 3rd June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Prepared with a pocketful of prose
The book sprang legs!
Patient and potent, I cannot pull away
The word holds me, the world begs

The porch story-teller
Remembers not to forget
Making metaphors, I’m nostalgic
For something that hasn’t happened
Yet

Innocence gone up in flames
Living mosaics of everyone
And everything ever loved
A good book, once ended
Has begun

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions
20th Sep 2025 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #195

Today I’m feeling:

So-so.  Despite thinking that I might get up at my usual time of 6am I slept for another couple of hours.  I feel less tired than yesterday but still not ready for action.

I did feel inspired enough to bring my laptop to Utopia and caught up on some poetry reading and a little writing.  I may do some more lesson planning.  I should, but I also may not!

Today I’m grateful for:

My old friends from When Chimps Attack.  I messaged Tommy recently after he had posted a picture of himself and Aaron at a show in Sydney.

Tommy had been in London for the past ten years or so but he said things were so grim there now that he came back but that he was struggling a little bit on his return too.  I told how I had felt there back in October – pretty similar.

Tommy also passed on Aaron’s email address and I wrote him today and look forward to hearing from him.

I know Jon and Ama live in Sydney again and wondering if Aaron has moved back too?  A Chimps reunion?

The best thing about today was:

Playing guitar after a couple of days break.  I managed to improve a little on last time and I felt good for that.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Around 4pm I went out to my room to catch up on some emails and play guitar.  Amy came out about ten minutes later and propositioned me.

As I had just sat down to do something else I was hardly in the mood, and these days I’m less in the mood a lot of the time.

My libido is definitely dropping off and I have no thoughts of looking elsewhere for satisfaction.  I love Amy and am committed to her but it’s not easy for me to just put myself in the mood these days. This is not helped by Amy usually propositioning when she has been drinking which isn’t very flattering for me.  Are beer goggles needed to look upon me now?

Having said that, when the time is right for both of us I still have the best orgasms that I’ve ever had with her.

Sadly, today she seems to be offended by my rejection and has locked herself in the second bedroom and won’t even communicate anything.  I was frustrated enough to try and kick the door in but gave up, considering that it would make things worse.

What happens next when she comes out?  I will try to just behave as normal and ignore her actions and try to smooth things over when she has calmed down.

Something I learned today?

All the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are set to 4:20.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave candy to both Art’s at Utopia this morning.

Whilst I was there Amy called me because I had taken the car as I had planned to do some work at Utopia and wasn’t sure if it would rain or not.  Amy suddenly decided to go for a spa and massage and needed the car immediately, so I drove back home and swapped over to the motorbike to go back to my coffee.

I took this picture because I’m trying to get this plant to grow over the top of the old roof frame. With the rain, it will grow like crazy and I just need to keep going along the beams.

Journey Of Joy – 2nd June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

If you’re going to fight the universe
Learn to become wise first
Else you’ll spend time sulking in corners
Where thoughts become the worst

Joys are formed deep within
Even on the path of most resistance
Prepare well for the journey ahead
Is the teacher’s eternal insistence

Inspired by a Sadhguru quote and a student who loves to battle with me in class (and obviously reminds me much of myself at that age)
19th Oct 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Ahead

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and slow which is surprising to me as I did next to nothing yesterday and should feel refreshed. Is my body telling me that I need to rest more or that I need to be doing more?

During the workweek, I’m switched on and ready to go and can usually get up at 6 am without any problem. I’m enthusiastic and inspired.  But with nothing planned to wake up for in the morning, it’s like I’ve died!

Yesterday I didn’t write and didn’t get to play guitar despite having hours of free time.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s safe return and wanting to go straight from the airport to Makro to buy ingredients and cook.  

Even though only gone a few days and knowing I’m able to take care of feeding myself, I was struggling to be bothered a little yesterday so I’m glad to have my personal chef back at home!

The best thing about today was:

Nothing in particular.  I ran out of energy soon after picking up Amy.  She even thought that I was hungover and I kinda felt like that.  

I napped for a little while in the late afternoon and have recovered some energy from that but also ready for an early night and long sleep, with another day off tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was talkative whilst we were eating but my brain still wasn’t working properly. She was, fairly slowly, drinking small glasses of wine but seemed to me to be getting louder. I could feel some tension within me because of that but I knew it was my problem and not hers.

After eating I went to the bedroom and read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.

Something I learned today?

You can buy some highly discounted items on the Bath and Body Works website, so I stocked up the cart and will purchase once I get paid!

19th Feb 2025 – Money ran short so that I never bought anything in the end.

One Step – 1st June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

In the maze presented ahead each day
Unable to navigate true
It is possible to get completely lost

But there is always someone who
Will find you and take you by the hand
And guide you back to your bed
A breadcrumb trail in the form of a friend
Keeping you one step ahead

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and relaxed.  Enjoyed a lazy sleep-in listening to the light rain outside this morning.  

After coffee, I did some work and catching up on emails and then in the afternoon got sucked into watching music reaction videos.

Today I’m grateful for:

Quiet (as such).  No one else around, nothing specifically to do, nowhere to be.

The best thing about today was:

I picked up my book to start reading at midday but then started watching videos and did a little weeding and tidying up in the garden (maybe 20 minutes max!) and it was about 6pm when I actually got to read!  

I finished the chapter about Africa up until about the start of the Second World War and the rise of the anti-colonialist movements there.

Something I learned today?

Nicha sent me a heart message this morning.  I’m assuming that means she’s doing ok.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent a follow-up message to Aida though don’t expect her to answer as she doesn’t usually respond on the weekends.  I will try and talk some more with her next week though.

I also encouraged the students who did reading for me and that I listened to this morning. I love to see the kids improve their reading skills but it is definitely a chore to listen to the same text over and over!

The Silence – 31st May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 18 Comments

The sadness is creeping
– Into my periphery
Until it overwhelms

Salty tears a-weeping
– All about is sucking me
Deep into darker realms

My old friend
– A bitter taste of blood
A dull aching head

Let’s not pretend
– That this is good
But sleep instead

Submitted to dVerse Quadrille #202 – Darkness and Poets and Storytellers United #129

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but kept running by knowing that it’s the end of the week.  Six hours of hot and humid teaching even with brief respites in the aircon have been completely draining.  

I’m home now and will make myself a salad soon.  

I took three of the magic mushroom pills that I got from Matt and can feel a sense of pleasure rising in me and will watch some comedy to wind down the evening.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Den, (I’m not sure if that’s her name actually) who lent me her Bluetooth speaker for my second class.  I gave her a frangipani flower in return.  I’d gotten it from a student earlier, who had put it behind my ear.

The best thing about today was:

Getting some good feedback on some of my recent poems.  I didn’t get a chance to write anything new today but whereas I used to be about a week behind in posting poetry I’m now a month ahead.  I’m enjoying writing and learning different forms and playing with it a little more.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I snuck up on Nong Fah and stuck a wet finger in her ear as she was lying down looking at her phone in a classroom. She went off in a huff and Jet said that she had PMS and had been moody all day (although she was fine in the morning when I saw her).

Knowing that it is best not to do anything more I played a bit with some other students but saw Fah dabbing her eyes with a tissue and looking really upset.  I watched her from a distance and wondered at the loss of emotional control that many females get once a month.  I can never really understand what that must feel like.

I caught her eye before I left for my own class and tried to express my sympathy with her.

Almost instantly on arriving at my own class, I could see that KanomBang was grumpy with me and her friends tried to explain that she too had PMS.  “That thing…..girls….once a month…”  I love it when the kids realise that they successfully communicated something in their second language.

Anyway, KB soon picked herself up a little bit and was ok.

It’s so weird to see the bewilderment on these kids’ faces when they go through this.  Like ‘Why the fuck am I feeling like this and can’t change it?’

After I got home I messaged a mini heart to Fah and said that I was sorry she was upset in the classroom.  She too, had recovered herself a little by then and was happy to chat a little.  I told her I was sorry I snuck a wet finger in her ear and she laughed and said she was sorry that she behaved the way she did, which I, of course, told her there was no need to apologise.

As an aside, interestingly my super smart grade 8 student Film questioned me in class why I treated boys and girls differently, something that he had picked up on perhaps when the ‘couple’ in the class were ‘fighting’ with each other.  I say ‘fighting’ because it is really just puppy love quarrel-play – nothing serious.

The kids listening were very interested when I replied that I treat girls differently because of the way I can see they are treated in Thai society and that boys are seen as superior and are spoiled more.  This got them talking a lot and whilst the girls agreed in general they said that their own families treated them like princesses.

It was an interesting idea to leave them with, to think and talk about.

Something I learned today?

I learned that Monday is a day off and on Wednesday students won’t come to school.  

Apparently, there will be a sports event at the stadium for about 10 days which is going to make traffic even worse in the mornings.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Nicha a little pep talk when she was looking down this morning.

After I’d finished teaching I saw my old grade 9 students with Kru David and I checked in with a few of them who were struggling with his work.  Earn was all happy with herself because she told me that she had finished and, being a little suspicious, I asked if she had copied someone she shushed me and immediately admitted that she had.

I asked her what program she might do next year and she said the Chef program. I said that’s great and encouraged her to at least get what she could out of being in the English program this year.

As I was leaving I saw Aida sitting by herself and also looking down.  I actually didn’t recognise her at first as her head was tilted downwards with her hair covering her face.  Her friends said that she was upset and tired today and when I met her at lunchtime she was resting her head on the table but with a quick chat she said that she would be ok to do my work in the afternoon.

I was intent on leaving quickly but seeing her again I stopped and sat with her and also gave her a little pep talk. She didn’t say much until I asked her if everything was ok at home and she opened up that she was having some problems with her mum.  We didn’t get into it but I told her that she can talk to me at any time if she needs to.

Immersion – 30th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

No moon, no stars distract
My world is on this page
Immersed in the act
A real story for this age

A wide world, web wild
Spinning in my head
Weaving my inner child
With the written and said

Wonders of the word
My world on this page
Only silence is heard
Projected from the stage

Submitted to WDYS #240

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired but positive.  Snoozed my alarm and skipped exercise this morning otherwise I feel like I will be totally exhausted by tomorrow night.

I’ll see how I feel tomorrow morning but hope to do some exercise again.  I can feel my abs holding me together a little better!

Today I’m grateful for:

All the folks that grew the watermelon, picked, cut and packed it and sold it to me in the market this afternoon.  Refreshing and cooling.

The best thing about today was:

After school, I did a quick walk around the lake again to see who was around and bumped into my quiet grade 8 students Earn and Nampan who I had also just finished teaching about 15 minutes earlier.

I asked them if they liked studying with me and they both grew big smiles and said yes and when I asked them why they said that the class was fun and that I am funny.

It was nice to hear that and made me feel good.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The afternoon grew super humid and dealing with a restless class of grade 8s was hard work and made me sweaty.  Film came and stood next to me waving a fan saying that I was sweating too much.

When I bumped into some other students they said that I looked tired and I realised that I was feeling it and when I got home I went straight out to pick up some food at the walking street.

I had planned to go and eat with Baipad and her sister later on but couldn’t wait.

Something I learned today?

Teaching my grade 12 class about IELTS today I asked the students what they knew about it, what they wanted to know and at the end of the lesson, what they had learned.

During this lesson, we all learned that the test costs about 7,350 baht here in Thailand.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent a message of support to Namsai who cried in class today because others made fun of her not knowing how to spell a word.  I got really upset with the rest of the class about it at the time.

Whilst not particularly vile I did cut in traffic on the way to school and upset some ute-driving workers who sped up to force me out.

The last traffic lights before school are a pain in the ass and take too long because of the way they are set up (just one direction can enter the junction at a time).  As the turning lane moves the slowest I usually drive down the freer lanes and cut in which is usually easy because the Thais are either so chill or so lacking in attention that they don’t move quickly and leave big gaps to cut into.

Driving to school is probably my least favourite part of the day.

I took this picture last night as our birdy was on her nest. I had to stand in our living room behind the blinds and then zoom in to get this shot without frightening her off.

Maybe One Day – 29th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Maybe one day
I’ll laugh on my birthday
Devour the cake you made
As you got drunk
Waiting for the sponge to rise

Maybe one day
We’ll be lost in love again
Taking photos in the park
Fresh-faced
And newly dyed hair

Maybe one day
I’ll bring flowers to your work
And your colleagues
Will look at you with longing
To be just as loved

Maybe one day
To scratch the travel itch
We’ll be taken away
In different directions

Maybe one day
All the plans I made
Will be forgotten
Just lists on fading paper
A reminder

Maybe one day
We’ll look at each other
And celebrate together
This journey made
Surrounded by our comforts

Maybe one day
The cats long gone
I’ll push you along
Complaining about my knee
And we’ll chat about the future

Submitted to the Weekly Prompts Challenge and inspired by When You’re Gone by Colleen Looseleaf

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired but was able to push through to do some exercise again – another AI-generated one that I ended up running through twice as it is quite short.  My abs were burning but feel ok now.

It’s super humid this morning which is energy-sapping and my first class were difficult to keep engaged and under control but I didn’t let it bother me too much.

Nomsen was messaging her mum online and then burst into tears for some reason.

After she calmed down I told her that she shouldn’t be talking with anyone outside the class during the lesson and that if she does some study it will take her mind off things.

She complained of a headache and I know she finds English too difficult but I just tried to push her to not give up.

Phu was also sleepy in the class and he also struggles with English.  The kids told me that he was up late working last night but that’s not my problem.  I guide and encourage him as best as I can but expect very little from him.

Today I’m grateful for:

My 4-hour break between classes during the day.  It gave me lots of time to catch up on some things that I wanted to read and some writing too.  I won’t have much free time for the next two days so it’s just as well.

The best thing about today was:

Hmm…nothing stands out in particular but it was a pleasurable and consistent day that I enjoyed very much.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I haven’t managed to get to my room to play guitar for a couple of nights now and I really want to.  

I’m doing a bit more lesson planning in the evenings because I’m worried that I don’t have enough things prepared for all these new classes – and I’ve hamstrung myself a little by asking the students what they want to learn about rather than just giving them canned lessons.

Something I learned today?

I talked with S* again today about what she told me on Monday about sometimes showering with her stepdad when she’s tired.  And she confirmed it and the way she described it does seem to be completely innocent and is not some kind of regular thing. Like a naturist family or something like that.

I warned her to be careful who she tells about this and she said she understood that and only mentions it to me because she trusts me.

Because of her exposure to Western culture, she considers herself only 10% Thai.  Maybe as a Westerner, she was testing to see how normal this situation was.  I told her it was pretty unusual.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As Amy flew to Bangkok to visit Nong Mai and Yaya today and will be away until Sunday I have to find my own food.  No problem, I thought, as the market would be on at the University.

As I knew that Baipad’s mum was still away, I asked if she and her sister wanted to come with me to get some food there and so I picked them up and we drove up to the Uni but because most of the students had gone home for the end of the semester the market was cancelled.

We drove around and eventually found a cheap Korean shop to eat at.

When was the last time I felt a sense of freedom?

The one time that I felt it really noticeably was on my trips to China.

On my first visits, I was surprised to see how free the environment was and I likened it to being at a large free music festival with folks just getting on with what they needed to do.  It was a far cry from my corporate work environment and the nanny state society of Australia.

Of course, for me, I was a tourist and enjoyed the freedom of being on holiday but I sensed it amongst the people in general there.  For them, it was probably just business as usual and normal.

I guess we tend to see more freedom outside of our own environments as we count every negative against us with more weight and take for granted a lot of other things.  It’s a reason to consider that one culture cannot be better than another.  Just different.

I feel this freedom living here in Thailand too but do understand that it is only in comparison with my experiences elsewhere before.

I’m really anti-stupidity laws such as jaywalking, which was enforced in Sydney CBD with a brutal crackdown and over-the-top fines.  On my first trip to China, I remember watching as pedestrians grouped together and slowly forced the cars on the road to stop and let them cross.

I imagine it is much different there now, with probably fifty times the number of cars on the road since but it showed me that people don’t need a law to counter stupidity.  If you are hit by a car whilst trying to cross the road you only have yourself to blame.

Same with holes in the sidewalk.  If you are not looking where you are going it’s your fault if you fall in.  Don’t blame the folks that made the hole.

Yes, things could be better and safer but not everything needs a law and its enforcement.  I mention enforcement as in Thailand there are many laws but they are laxly enforced.  Sometimes, this makes sense.

Which place from my childhood do I most fondly remember?

Without doubt that would be Forest Cottage – my home from aged 9 until about 20.

Most particularly my bedroom, where a lot of partying went on along with all the other ups and downs that teenagers have to struggle through.  It was my space to invite others in or shut them out.

I took this picture last week because… well, it was a pretty evening as I rode home from No Name and the reflection in the lake attracted me enough to stop.

Inklings – 28th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

I get the feeling you are
Always impatient to arrive
As to why lips are burning shut
My space dreams a guttering flame
Burning the world
After the rain

To learn its secrets, get its power
Needs no spotlight, no orchestra
The inklings of chaos are cleverly concealed
But how do I explain
The shriek and howl of party boys
In a dark, secluded spot

Inspired but too late to submit to the dVerse April cento challenge. Cento: A literary work pieced together from the works of several authors
Line 1: Peter
Line 2: Dwight L. Roth
Line 3: Sanaa Rizvi
Line 4: Rob Kistner
Line 5: Kim Whysall- Hammond
Line 6: gillena
Line 7: Jedediah Smith
Line 8: Ron. Lavalette
Line 9: Punam
Line 10: Colleen Looseleaf
Line 11: Brendan
Line 12: kittysverses

Today I’m feeling:

Good.  I was having a crazy dream when my alarm went off but I was so deep in it that I instantly couldn’t remember it.  My first thought after turning the alarm off was ‘What was I just dreaming!?’

I forced myself out to my room where I discovered that the exercise app I use can now generate an AI routine targeted at your choice of muscle groups and it was good.  It pushed me a little more than normal and I was glad of it.

Hopefully, it is a feature that I can continue using for free as I’ve only ever used the free routines in the app.

Today I’m grateful for:

The random students who told me that they missed me.  I don’t even know who they were but I’m assuming that I have taught them recently and am just not familiar with them yet.

The best thing about today was:

My class of grade 10s this afternoon, which also had a whole bunch of new students added that I had to quickly familiarise myself with, who quickly picked up on the activities that I was teaching and got a little competitive with each other.  

By the end, it seemed everyone enjoyed it despite some students struggling with English and not really being interested.

Something I learned today?

Kru Tang now works in the high school and has been tasked with putting together the new Integrated Program.  She seemed just as frustrated as everyone else with this task.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I walked around the park after classes to see who was hanging where and with who.  I found Baipad in her usual place with another girl I didn’t recognise but soon learned that it was Cookie, Butter’s younger sister.

I had meant to ask Baipad to introduce me to her one morning as I knew that she would be starting here this semester but then forgotten all about it.

I’ve met so many new students already this semester that I can’t even bring Cookie’s face to mind again right now.

I gave them both a candy and Baipad asked me why I always had candy.  I laughingly said that it is because I am a good person and I jokingly complained to her about why she never gives me anything.

Amy took this picture because we have new housemates staying on our balcony. The plant that they have nested on is a little too close to curious cats so we raised it up on a chair where hopefully our cats decide that they are too lazy to investigate further.

A Few Syllables – 27th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

All it takes is a word
A few syllables could start it all
Pick a pill to swallow
Which side of the fence to fall?

All of the grasses green
Yet muddied by the other
Pick a path to follow
Cling tight to your brother

All it takes is a word
A few syllables to end everything
They all rang so hollow
With the violence they bring

All it takes is a word
A few syllables to make peace
To calm the stormy weather
And hostilities to cease

Today I’m feeling:

A little slow still.  I felt really tired when I went to bed but then found that I couldn’t get to sleep and then when I woke up it felt like it must still be the middle of the night but it was already getting light.

I had a very dry mouth and was finding it difficult to breathe. I skipped exercise hoping to get an extra few minutes of sleep but I just ended up tossing and turning.

I was thinking about school and how Amy said that it was unfair that I was given extra hours to teach while Princess George could just walk away from classes that he doesn’t want to teach.

I was also thinking that maybe I’m investing too much time in my students and need to balance things better.  It does bring me great pleasure though and I felt happy to walk around this morning with many students, old and new, wanting to fist-bump and chat.

Today I’m grateful for:

That my first time with another new class of grade 12 students was pretty easy despite a poor standard of English for many students.

They were all excited when I asked them for ideas of something for me to teach them in English and chose things like ghosts, psychology, Naruto and NASA.  It got me up and running with many ideas which I can reuse again later for other classes.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching.  It was enjoyable and I feel like I’m pretty well on top of things though I know that I have a lot of planning ahead still.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was still wound up by the builder who responded to a Facebook post that Amy made questioning his lack of professionalism.  This was the only way that she has managed to get a response from him and he was trying to transfer his anger back to Amy.

He was somewhat successful with that but her mum and I calmed her down a little and we talked more about it when I got home so that we are both on the same page with the details.

I’m not sure if we will get any refund and I’m not banking on it but we’ll give it a try and see if he has any remorse for running away from his responsibility.

Something I learned today?

Something odd when talking with a grade 12 student called S*. She told me that her stepfather is from the Netherlands and he always speaks English with her and that is one reason that her English is reasonable and that she speaks straightforwardly and directly, which often upsets her Thai classmates.

But the odd thing was that she mentioned that her stepdad sometimes showers with her and dries her off.  I wasn’t sure if I misheard what she said and she was so blasé about it that perhaps she did think it’s normal and there’s nothing untoward about it.

It was definitely weird to hear that for me though.  I will try and get clarification from her some time though.

Oh, and Southampton beat Leeds to get promoted to the Premier League which is a little treat I enjoyed.  I’m happy for my old friends in Southampton and because Leeds are the team that my old grumpy workmate Robert supported.

I took this picture because my old students are always happy to see me.  I hope I can see some of them again in high school. Me, Tonaor, Namthip, Dena, Nicha, Mei, August, Namkhing and Fah.