Author: shaun tenzenmen

Australasian DIY music specialist and practising poet, amongst other things

I Fear – 28th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 12 Comments

One day at a time, I fear
A dread existentially

Made it my philosophy

Each morning my mind made clear
One day at a time, I fear


Days are done with entropy

Fallen down unhappily
Into the night they disappear
One day at a time, I fear


Broken up elegantly

What was it specifically?

Unknown circumstances here
One day at a time, I fear

Submitted to dVerse Poetry Form: Ballata and Weekly Prompts -The One-Day Prompt (4) and initial inspiration from the Charles Schultz quote there.

Today I’m feeling:

Tired still, though I didn’t sleep until after 1 am, partly because of my afternoon nap but also because I was playing a game on my phone. 

When I stopped playing and saw that it was 1.20 am, I immediately deleted the game! I can’t be using up so much time like that.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy being back and cooking or buying food for me. I’m short of money again and trying not to spend anything. It will be like this for a couple more months at least. Hang in here, Shaun!

The best thing about today was:

Getting out to my room and thinking about adding old pictures to the blog, which I did a few of today, along with some more old emails and looking through other bits and pieces of writing that I have.

I also listened to a few albums of stuff that I had downloaded, including the old Fusion live tapes. I was perhaps inspired by listening to Per Purpose as I was driving today.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I didn’t watch any TV today. But this was on purpose, as I didn’t want to find out the result of the Swans game before being able to watch the mini-match tomorrow.

I did end up watching the movie Inside Out in the evening though as Amy had recommended it and it was enjoyable and I’m curious about the second one and if it could be useful for my students.

Lots of other things were out of my control today but I never let myself get out of control.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I drove Amy and me around the city so we could eat and visit Mum. Amy loves being a backseat driver and I generally just let it slide, joking today, asking if she would talk to a taxi driver like that. She said I’m not a taxi driver and ‘I can talk to my husband any way I like’ and then, jokingly, gently slapped my face. I guess I’m special!

I took this picture because I spotted this new growth as I was opening the gate.

The Opening Song – 27th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 18 Comments

The song always remains the same
(Here we damn well go again!)
Everything and nothing is gonna change

Too late and too soon to rearrange
Is this even worth the saving?
More or less, we’re all misbehaving
Every order is rapidly falling apart
Started at the end, ended at the start

To the infinite, the future and past
Here stand the fallen, the first came at last
Every explosion will soon shake the walls
Your sons and daughters taking the falls

And we better start off along the creeks
Rowing the boats and plugging the leaks
Eagles turned vultures pointing their beaks

Alarmed at the words the majority speaks

Criticise the critters, blame all the birds
Hold on hope and the rule of thirds
Always enough was found wanting more
Now comes the battle to settle the score
Gone with all reason, gone with the wind
In the storm of the season, everyone sinned
Never again, again and again, explained
Gotta live to see that the times have changed

Submitted to What’s Going On – Changing Times with some words appropriated from, and can possibly be sung to the tune of, Bob Dylan’s ‘The Times They Are A-Changing’. Also to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – alarm.

‘Criticise the Critters’ is from a song by Phantom Tollbooth and ‘Hold on Hope’ is from Guided By Voices. Oh, I suppose I should also say that ‘The Song Remains the Same’ is by Led Zeppelin too.

25th Oct 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – leak

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and bleary-eyed again. I intended to sleep long but Cap woke me up crying at the door to be fed at 8.20 and once up I decided to utilise the time and try to get myself going.

Today I’m grateful for:

Not having anything in particular to do today except hang out washing and bring it in again!

The best thing about today was:

Getting some reading in, a little writing and good coffee to start the day.  I spent another three hours or so catching up on sleep at around midday.  I’m still looking forward to more sleep tonight.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

During my afternoon sleep, I was having a vivid dream that I was a teenager in bed, in a bedroom that was my own but not a place that I recognised.  I was trying to jerk myself off but constantly conscious that my mum wouldn’t suddenly open the door and catch me and this kept interrupting the thoughts in my imagination that I was trying to get excited about.

It was so vivid that when I briefly came back into consciousness, my imagination was still trying to decide on some kind of sexy scenario and then I started questioning myself, am I actually jerking off whilst dreaming of jerking off?

I fell back into the dream but was unable to continue. Consciousness quickly came again and I turned over in bed wondering if I had been making any noise during all this!

I slept more after this but didn’t return to that dream.

Something I learned today?

I watched a video about an adult gaming company called Nutaku and, through that, learned that about 90% of porn websites (along with Nutaku) are owned by a single company.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I helped Amy a little bit today as she is under the weather with a cold.  I didn’t really interact with many other people today.

I took this picture of Aomsin because she is shy to have her picture taken. She’s an interesting student as she doesn’t usually give much away about her feelings with her facial expressions. It was nice to catch a smile before she hid herself from the camera.

She Is Waiting – 26th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 11 Comments

She is the lone wolf
Waiting for the summer mist
To rise from the forest floors

Her thoughts are her own
Serving no masters
Comfortable in quietude

Ears alert to opportunity
Sniffing out the rats
Deadly silent stalker

She is the lone wolf
Waiting

Submitted to WDYS #246 and dVerse Quadrille #204 – summer
26th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – stalker

Today I’m feeling:

Tired still and not particularly excited for my classes, knowing that many students will be missing for various reasons, disrupting my plans.

I got up ok this morning but feel a lack of energy and my eyes are a little blurry still.

Onwards we must go!

Today I’m grateful for:

A bit of a chilled, busy day due to circumstances described below.  I’m still pretty tired at the end of the day but was expecting to feel much more exhausted after six hours in class, then dashing home and soon out again to the airport to pick up Amy.  I’m looking forward to sleep but also feeling satisfied with the day.

The best thing about today was:

Falling into the rhythm of the day with only 14 out of 35 students turning up for my first class.  The rest were mostly off doing projects and special meetings.

As the class was due to do presentations, this has to be delayed until next week.  I figured I’d try to do some pronunciation work with the few students in attendance and settled on a 90-question Quiz about the pronunciation of past tense ‘-ed’ verbs.

At the start, everyone was quite competitive but with so many questions, once they started to understand the rules for this grammar point, they all started deliberately choosing the wrong answers to wind me up.

Suitably satisfied I stopped the quiz halfway and let the kids relax for the rest of the time.

And so it went on, in my next class, about 8 or 10 students were off doing something (which luckily I heard about yesterday and had prepared for) and I did a really simple reading, translation and quiz with the predominantly J-Biz program students.

I even managed to dash off to House for a quick coffee and writing catch-up before my final class with grade 8s and a tough reading challenge for them.  I was pleasantly surprised at how well they handled it.  Not with the quality of their reading but the fact that they’ve become accustomed with doing what I ask and feel comfortable that I will assist them.  It’s a win as far as I’m concerned.  If they can’t improve their English, at least their attitude to difficult tasks will improve.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been a little frustrated with waiting on covers for the SpeechOdd/High Voltage split 12”, which Parthiban arranged with Talib in KL.  Talib has been out of contact for a few weeks now and I’m sitting on a stack of currently unsellable vinyl until I get these covers.

There’s not much I can do and Parthiban is also frustrated and decided not to work with Talib again.  Hopefully, the situation resolves soon.

Something I learned today?

I read an interesting piece about how Buenos Aires was richer and more culturally advanced than any other American city in the early 1900s until the Great Depression, followed by a series of political missteps, which saw it lose its status.  There was even a phrase, ‘To wish to be as rich as an Argentinian!’

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Even after my long day of classes, I dropped in on Kru David’s grade 9 class and helped Nicha, Yurin and Tankoon to understand what was required.  It felt good to help them and they showed their appreciation with their thanks.

I took this picture because Freya didn’t understand why I was saying ‘Sadako’ when she was fixing her hair, so I put the picture up on the screen and made her stand there too.

Vendetta Generation – 25th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Voices trembling, yet as one to sing
A collected mind travels the crow road
Where prayers and prophets seek to bring
The moon silk dreams once borrowed

A shatter as the violence worshipped returns
A zigzag missile homes in on the heart
Faced with the darkness, the torment burns
The moon silk dreams soon fall apart

Submitted to The Sunday Whirl Wordle 664 wordlist.

Today I’m feeling:

I woke up with the light before 5 am and knew I wasn’t going to get enough sleep, so I reset my alarm for a little bit later.

Even then, I still felt like I could go back to sleep easily, even after breakfast, driving to school and coffee!

As it was a special event day today, though (Thai Language Day), I soon perked up walking around school and talking with students. There were very few classes going on, so there was a fair amount of excitement in the air.

I cancelled my grade 12 class, giving them a small assignment to do instead and took it easy with the grade 8s in the afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

Chatting with students Jee and Pemai this afternoon. It started off with their gossip about Freya and helped me understand their point of view about her behaviour.  More interesting, though, was discussing differences between schools in Thailand and the West and also talking about some of the teachers and other students that they like and admire. 

Something I learned today?

Amy’s mum has shingles on the right side of her face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the effects before but it looks really bad and painful. I need to investigate more about it so that I can try and avoid ever having it too!

I took these pictures of Anchan and Jee because they gave speeches in Thai about the importance of education (so they told me) for today’s event.

The City – 24th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

You can have me over and over again
But your hands will never reach all the way around
Your honeymoon here might seem fantastic
But soon enough your feet will touch the ground

Here now where it all seems right
Sipping coffee and getting scribble down
Trees dance shadows across the windows
And soon enough this will be your town

Inspired by this post at Spinning Visions and submitted to Living Poetry – city

Today I’m feeling:

Not so bad.  I woke up a little unsure how I was feeling but pushed myself up and out of bed with a surprise alarm and kick-started myself with exercise that I really didn’t want to do but glad that I did.

I got inspired to write some new lessons after finding a podcast for teen girls, which I can easily adapt for my classes.  I guess I’m feeling a little more invigorated than the last few days at home.  I know that this is trying to tell me something but I’m kinda trying to ignore it!

Baipad didn’t come to school today, which is not unexpected.  She had messaged Fahmai already that she was crying all last night.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Mai reminding me that we needed to have 50% of our grading scores in the system. I saw a message in Thai about this at the weekend so I knew it was something being done but usually I don’t do anything unless instructed in English.

I had already been filling in scores over the last couple of months anyway, so it was no big deal to fill out the rest with the four hours I had free today.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling in control.  I felt above average all day without any wild highs or low lows and I felt that I could deal with everything that got thrown at me, which wasn’t much anyway.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Tomorrow is another event day and some of my grade 12 students are generally busy preparing things for it.  They asked me for free time tomorrow and I consented on the condition that they must submit a small piece of work by the end of the day for me.

It’s hard to consistently teach some of these classes as there are always students missing, being taken off to do other projects.  I’m getting used to it now.

Something I learned today?

Wipping came to class late and fake-crying because Kru Tan had scolded her and the team that performed in the drama competition a couple of weeks ago (despite coming second in the whole northern region!).

This evening I messaged Wipping to ask why they were still talking about it, assuming that only the winners went on to the next stage of the competition. She told me that the top 3 go on, so they will be under more pressure from Kru Tan to perform well. 

My guess is Kru Tan is old school, motivating them with threats, bullying and pressure.  All of the students involved are down and depressed about it but I’m trying to get them to deal with it and deflect away from that method of motivation.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Every Wednesday morning now I sit in on the class that used to be assigned to me and help the students with their work.  I’m glad that the Thai teacher is ok with it because it fills a bit of my day rather than just sitting in the cafe until 2.30 and it’s a no pressure class, I can just help when I want and the rest of the time I’m preparing other lessons.

After school, I was starving and decided that I would ride up to the uni market to get food and could drop in on Baipad on the way to see how she was.  Perhaps a day off was what she needed because she seemed happy and over any residual grief from yesterday.  I took both her and her sister up to the market and we all got ourselves fed.

I took this picture on Saturday because I wanted to make a joke with Baipad and Jan (walking by with NamHom), saying ‘Look, three buffalo and NamHom.’ Buffalo is the slang word for ‘stupid’ here.

Here You Go Again – 23rd July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

So many tombstones for the hydra-headed
The many heads must be better than one
The hallucinations are so deeply embedded
This anarchy and madness has just begun

A choice of two to become King Wizard
Let’s fantasise that all men are born equal
A legacy of dunces believes that a lizard
Was born to be the hero of this sequel

Submitted to RDP Friday – fantasise, Reena’s Xploration Challenge #339 – hydra-headed, Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – madness, Sammi Scribbles Weekend Writing Prompt #373 – anarchy, FOWC with Fandango – tombstone, Word of the Day Challenge – wizard, RDP Sunday – hallucination and inspired by the nonsense of US politics.

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy and tired. I set my alarm for 7 am though woke up before that but slept another hour after turning the alarm off.

As I was brushing my teeth, I wondered why I had stayed up past midnight reading last night. My eyes are aching and having trouble focusing.

I have to get myself going and hopefully these two coffees will do the trick.

Today I’m grateful for:

Struggling through today (see below) and forcing myself out on my bike, to ride all the back roads to Makro to get the last two tubs of yoghurt.  Sold out in two days!  Why don’t they order more?

The best thing about today was:

Getting little bits of everything done.  It doesn’t feel like a productive day, not that they all have to be, but there’s nothing that stands out either.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

By the time of visiting the hospital and seeing the doctor (after an hour of waiting) I was starting to feel a little down.  With the long wait it meant missing my afternoon class too.

I messaged Kru Tang to see if she could fix how to put leave into the system.  She couldn’t help fix it but also said that I should assign work to the students to do in the class time.  I argued that if I have to take leave then I’m not going to assign work that I have to follow up on.  I might as well be there.

I told her I would ask the class to use the opportunity to catch up on other class work and she seemed ok with that.  But still it added to me feeling a bit grumpy and down.

Thankfully, the trip on the motorbike had a positive effect on my mood.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

After getting back from Makro at around 6pm I went over to Baipad’s, taking a syringe and a food stick, to see if she could feed Snow with it.  When I got there, though, Baipad looked totally dejected and became teary.

I asked to see Snow and we went upstairs to where she was.  She looked back to the state that she was in on Sunday, unfortunately and I didn’t see much hope.  Baipad was sobbing by this time.

I hate seeing cats suffer, any animals.  I squeezed a little water into her mouth and rubbed her throat.  She gave a little squeak of recognition but soon dropped her head back down.  I told Baipad to give her a little water every hour or so and give her love and strokes.

Then I came home and fed our two precious boys.

Around 8pm Baipad messaged me that Snow had passed.

I took this picture because this little fella decided to join me on my ride back from Utopia this morning. It has a clear shell that looks like plastic. I’ve never seen anything like it before.

Butterflies – 22nd July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 17 Comments

Was it a fantasy? A fair fumble in the past
– Mystical ticks as the clock rewinds
That magical ache in the chest again, at last
– A blood-pumping petition reminds

Gave up reality for frolics in the dark
– Gardenias by day, jasmine by night
Naked in starlight, reignited the spark
– Gladdens the mind from a dark requite

Submitted to No Theme Thursday – the picture above, Moonwashed Musings – mystical and Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – magic
10th Oct 2024 – Shared with What’s Going On – magical

Today I’m feeling:

A little bit weary before coffee but fairly upbeat after.  Will try to get out to my room before watching any TV today, make sure I do things that are pleasurable, though take some effort, rather than just sitting watching the box all day.  Whilst content may be interesting, too much at one time gets boring.

Today I’m grateful for:

The staff at the hospital who gave me advice on when to come back to get my medicine.

The best thing about today was:

Playing guitar again for a couple of hours was fun and though my skill seems to have plateaued, I’m starting to understand it a little more deeply.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I went up to the hospital, though only after talking with Hayden about health, which reminded me to see if the psych was there.  Actually, I knew that he was only usually there on Monday mornings, so I wanted to find out if he would be there next Monday, but as today and next Monday are holidays, the department he is in is not open.  It was a vague hope that they would be.

However, a nice member of staff, with reasonable English, told me that he would be there from 1pm tomorrow, so I figured I’d take tomorrow morning off and wait at home until then and go to my afternoon class at 2.30.  I don’t want to have to go back and forth twice tomorrow as I’m short of cash and will need to refill the tank at some stage.

Something I learned today?

Biden steps down as the 2024 US presidential candidate, and civil war there feels like more and more of a possibility.

On a similar note: Jellyfish are not fish; they have no brain, heart, or bones.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I followed up with Baipad about her cat and also with Freya about herself.

I took this picture because finally, our ground is waterlogged again.

Each Dawn – 21st July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 17 Comments

I commiserate the death of me
Of everything I used to be
Soon, a forgotten memory
– Considered on occasion

The me that was, been and gone
Wisdom found me with its song
I sought new homes where I belong
– I wish I’d gotten here sooner

So it is with passing friends
In happiness that one pretends
Marching towards our personal ends
– Flowers wilt without water

Reading my own obituary
Wisdom provided sanctuary
This time too, temporary
– Each morning, new life forming

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 57 – Wisdom and What’s Going On – Elegy
23rd Oct 2024 – Shared with Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – pretend

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and sleepy. I must’ve been woken by the gardeners this morning, though I didn’t even realise until I heard shouts of ‘nong Am’ and ‘loong’ outside whilst I was taking a shower. Coffee got me going a bit and I managed to avoid watching TV until lunchtime.

Around that time, though, Baipad messaged saying that her cat had turned up after 4 days and didn’t look good and asked if I would take her to the vet. I had to choose whether to help her or not, knowing that I would have to pay, as her mum refuses to take their pets to the vet (I’m assuming it’s a financial decision on her part).  And I’m really short of money right now too. 

I cracked when she wrote that ‘otherwise I’ll just have to let her go’.  Her cat, Snow, was unable to move and felt very cold. She really looked like she might go at any minute. Baipad was predictably in tears. Anyway, the kids got in the car and we drove down to the vet near the hospital.

They said that she had feline distemper and only a 10% chance. We talked about options, and they said they wanted to put her on saline and give her some medicine and to stay there for a few hours. I agreed and told Baipad that they could figure out what to do after that. I dropped them home after paying a 500 baht deposit and told her to call me to take them back later.

Around 4pm, she messaged me again and said that her mum would go pick up the cat and a little later said that she was home again and was improving with a 50-60% chance of making it.

I was happy to hear that but also found out that her mum had to pay another 800 baht. I told Baipad that she should start thinking of things that she can do to pay her mum back.

Today I’m grateful for:

The vet nearby being open today. As it is a special holiday this weekend, I wasn’t sure that it would be.

The best thing about today was:

I played guitar for a couple of hours and got in touch with Max and Dave about them possibly sending over some tenzenmen stock for distro over there. Hopefully, that will help get some stuff out of my room.

We also had a long, big rain which flooded our lawn for the first time this year. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Due to my lack of money I’m not able to pay the gardener and had to ask Amy to transfer me the money to do it. I’ll have to pay her back next month.

Something I learned today?

I learned about the colonial city of Aden in Yemen and a little about the retreat of the British Empire from there. I’d not heard of it before but searching online it looks like a very interesting place.

I took this picture because Tigger was very much enjoying rolling in his cardboard tray whilst the rain poured outside.

Deeper Reds – 20th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

Symbolism in deeper reds
Canvas colour capture spreads
Abstract yet educated
Rhythmic patterns illustrated
Leaving be the ugly things
Elevate what this beauty brings
The fusion of knowledge

Spiritual movement college
Aims towards enlightenment
Grittily honest experiment
Evoking the scarlet sage

Dancing eyes across the page
And so the paintings change view
Now that the painting changed you
Creativity in meditation
Invitation to interpretation
Nearer to the stormy sea
Goes the light blue nursery

Animal instincts of segregation

Wisdom rises beyond illumination
Hanging our pictures on these walls
In the museum, how history falls
Risen to rhyme and rearranged
Look at me now, times have changed
In search of happiness and beauty
No submission to customs of duty
Greedy and grim, not another one

Death and frenzy have all been done
Ever since, and so it will be
Raise the tools to stave off misery
Vanquish fear with canvas maze
Inspired to passion with its praise
Spun out a web of dream delight
Hanging on the deeper reds tonight

Submitted to dVerse and inspired by the attached painting by Alma Thomas and information found about her work.

16th Jan 2026 – shared with Esther Chilton prompt #99 – red

Today I’m feeling:

My regular weekend tired, though I got up early to drop Amy off at the airport as she heads to Udon Thani via Bangkok to meet Jess.

Then Baipad messaged me that Jan will come and meet her at The Black House this morning and wanted to arrange with me to transport her there. 

No problem, though I’m looking forward to getting home later and playing some guitar, reading, writing and listening to some music.

I’m hungry already, too and it’s not quite registered yet that I have to figure out what I’m going to eat today and the rest of this week, with my regular chef being away!

Today I’m grateful for:

The drink lady at Baan Dam who complimented me on my Thai.  And then Jess also complimented me when I was able to answer her questions, though usually in English.  She was at least impressed that I understood her.

The best thing about today was:

Seeing the look of happiness on Baipad’s face when she saw Jan again.  They haven’t seen each other since March and though they chat a bit online, I could see how happy they were to just be able to gossip with each other about their lives.  One thing I really noticed was that they barely looked at their phones the whole time that they were together.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Just as I was sat comfortably in bed, Cap came to the door asking to be let in, which I did and then Amy video-called and I started talking with her, Jess and Jess’s relatives.  Cap jumped up onto bed and then proceeded to piss all over it.  Motherfucker!

I hung up the call grabbed the sheet off the bed and ran it to the washing machine, coming back with a cut lemon and some paper towels.  After cleaning up as best I could I called Amy back and was feeling a bit annoyed, at one moment feeling relaxed and the next having to deal with this.

Amy was happily drunk and laughed it off but I wasn’t in the mood.  She could feel that and we said good night.  I’ve switched all the bed linen to Amy’s bed and will sleep there tonight.

I’m dog tired, but my adrenaline is up now.  I’ll calm down soon.

Something I learned today?

When I asked one of my grade 12 students what they could do to practice speaking English when there was no one around they said that the practice with ChatGPT.  Not a bad idea.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I talked a little with Freya today and tried to pep her up as she is understandably still feeling down about what happened yesterday.

I took this picture at Baan Dam because these cute bugs would probably make Amy itch. They were everywhere!

Ruins – 19th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Pearls left at the altar
No more reveries for your name
Perfection starts to falter
Then vanish with a lover’s claim

Built to be broken
The air inside, a secret mist
Embraced by all the ghosts
The tragic altruist

Submitted to Wordle #663

Today I’m feeling:

Good, though I skipped exercise this morning as my alarm shocked me awake and my eyes were so heavy.  I thought I’d get straight back to a deep sleep but didn’t as my brain slowly engaged.  I did enjoy the rest though and I probably needed it.

I wasn’t looking forward to my first class, my lazy grade 11s on the relatively boring topic of presentations.  I try to get them going as much as I can but I think that they have other things to think about.  However, it did go well and I pulled back a little to talk with each group about their presentations and it was ok.

The second class, the grade 11 HAP and J-Biz kids, I prepped when they arrived that we would finish early and could complete the final task and bring to class next week.  They were happy with this as they had mentioned that they were overloaded with work for another class.

During that class I talked with Jee about problems between the J-Biz and HAP students in both grade 11 and 10.  She told me that the grade 11s were mostly fine but that in grade 10 they are not connecting well at all.

But she did talk to me about Freya causing all sorts of problems between everyone in the grade 11 class.  I know that there had been some issues before but I thought that it had kind of settled down now.  It seems not.

At the end of my class there was definitely some frank discussion going on between a few students and Freya.  I discussed it with both sides separately a little later but with the language barrier it was a little difficult to get to the bottom of.

It seems like Freya might have a problem with running her mouth at times and not thinking about what she is saying.  Maybe a gossip, playing both sides depending on who she is talking to. I’m guessing that she has low social skills and perhaps her background has played a part in this, though I know nothing about that.  It’s just that I feel that she might be more old school Thai than some of the other kids who are more with the times and less provincial.

Also, she may be getting a skewed understanding of how relationships work by live streaming in class sometimes and getting positive feedback on her looks from ‘fans’.

This is all conjecture on my part and I feel sorry for her because she admits to knowing that she has done wrong and bad things in the past but feels like she is being given a further chance.

I told her to talk with Kru Pooky, who I’m not sure is the best person to go to for advice, though she is a little like Freya too.  She seems to struggle with friends in the school and is always posting pictures of herself alone at cafes on Instagram, which feels a bit odd to me as she is (I’m guessing) approaching middle age, though not unattractive.  I can see Freya easily becoming like her in the future.  So, I’m not sure if that makes her a good or bad person to be talking with!

I also told Freya to talk with me later.  I’ve messaged her this evening but not heard back.  As she struggles with depression and being away from family I just hope she doesn’t do anything rash.

Thankfully my last class of grade 8s was a breeze after all that drama as they struggled with reading in front of class but they tried very hard and did very well.  A quick quiz afterwards and we were all able to get away a little earlier.

Today I’m grateful for:

The friendly lady at the cookie shop in Ban Den.  She was nice as Amy and I video called to figure out what to buy for her to take to Udon Thani.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling good listening to my grade 8s reading and having seen them improve over the week.  A few of them still don’t understand what they’re saying but at least they are getting over their fear of talking.  

It’s a good feeling to watch them evolving their skills over time.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I tried supporting Freya as mentioned above.

It was (grade 9) Earn’s birthday today and I delivered her a piece of chocolate cake from Le Paradis, for which she was appreciative, though I asked her to listen to Kru David in her class (for a change!)

I also let Spain, Praew and her friend through into the cafe so that they could sit in the aircon as the gate hadn’t been unlocked yet.