Egged out, we must survive
Enthusiastic push to thrive
Finally, no one gets out alive
That’s the way we all go

Early birds catch the worms
The voice inside us turns
In turn, the worm learns
That that’s the way we all go

One day, in a different way
Here tomorrow, gone today
Even the early bird will say
That’s the way we all go

Paraphrased and plagiarised (in the nicest possible way) from various majestic Cardiacs songs.
Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 47

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Today I’m feeling:

Good again though that 6 am alarm was tough.  It had to be done though.  My leg workout was too much, supposed to be 3 x 64 reps of lunges but I could only manage 40 by which time my skinny thigh muscles wanted to explode.  But 40 is better than none.

Today I’m grateful for:

Matt, who kindly donated me some magic mushroom capsules as he tried them but didn’t enjoy the experience.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying a whole day out of home even though I could’ve just gone to school, signed in and come home again.  I had planned to do this anyway but it was made even more desirable because when I was leaving this morning Auntie Sue told me that the electricity would be off today as they are moving the lines to the new poles.  Great – no reason to come home early.

After signing in I spent the morning reading and writing at House whilst enjoying three coffees and even getting another lesson done for the classes on Presentations.

After that, I dropped by Central to buy a gift for Funfai as it is her birthday today and she told me she would be playing tennis at 4 pm.  I got her a notebook, pencil case and pen.  I also got the same for Anchan.

For the afternoon I went to see Matt as planned and we talked for a couple of hours catching up on each other’s lives.  He also showed me his guitar setup and pedals, all of which sound fantastic but not within my price range or even within my time limitations for being feasible.

I left at around 4 pm to head to the tennis courts though I could see in the distance very dark clouds and the wind started picking up dramatically.  Baipad messaged me that it was storming in our village as, after cancelling bike riding yesterday due to a storm, we had rearranged for today at 5 pm.

I got to the tennis courts and there weren’t many people around and the wind was already making it difficult for those there.  No sign of Funfai so I messaged her and she told me that her lesson had been cancelled.  Ah well, no worries.  I used the opportunity to go and clock out of school which I haven’t bothered to do so far this week.

As I drove back home it started to rain though nothing storm-like.  It had already blown through by the looks of things.  I figured Baipad wouldn’t want to ride and a wet road would have made it more difficult for her too, so I thought I’d drop by and see if I could chat with her a little more in-depth.

As I passed by our soi it was still blocked with electricity people running around so I assumed the power was still off at home too.  Amy also called and said that she couldn’t get home earlier when she tried as the road was blocked then too.

So I hung out at Baipad’s for an hour and did get her to open up a little more and whilst not confronting any of her issues, started to get her to think about them a bit more.

She feels comfortable to talk with me though she still lacks the maturity to know how to express herself.  I can report though that she is not happy with herself and does want to change, she just doesn’t know how and I can feel that her mum doesn’t know how to teach or show her either.  Her mum obviously has her own struggles.

Anyway, I’ll try my best to support, motivate and teach her some skills that can bring up her confidence.  It’s all valuable reminders for me too.

I came home around 6 pm and it has been raining most of the time since, 3 hours now, with a comfortable temperature again, which I, and most probably everyone, is grateful for.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got my new teaching schedule today.  It has changed a little bit from what I was expecting, with me being given 24 hours instead of the 22 that the other teachers get.  I’m not going to complain though.

I like being in the classroom, with the kids so another couple of hours is fine and it might also encourage me to stay each day and sign out like they want me to!

After arriving home I found that our internet wasn’t working, probably due to the work going on with the poles in our soi.  I hope that our provider knows about this work, but I can also easily imagine that they don’t.  At least I can still hotspot and connect with my phone tonight and we’ll be out most of the day tomorrow.

Something I learned today?

Both Jet and Praewa sent me messages today because they got their study schedules and they were upset that I won’t be teaching them this year.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

Any of the minor challenges that I’ve mentioned above didn’t feel that difficult at all (except the lunges) and my state of mind was good enough to accept everything as it came.

What kind of artist were you when you were young?

When I was about 5 or 6 I always got told off for drawing castles instead of writing.  I tried to compromise by writing something that allowed me to also draw a castle!

In my teens, I got deep into punk iconology, cut-up style and sloganeering.  I made many posters like this, including a huge one that I submitted for an art assignment.  I also painted a picture of a faceless punk in a three-piece suit, crucified on a cross.

My forays into the artistic world ended up more around words but also into producing booklets, fanzines and posters.  I don’t have the creative drive anymore to do this, perhaps hampered by a lack of time due to other endeavours such as writing.

Did you paint, colour with crayons, build things with blocks?

Painting and colouring yes but I had an aversion to building things.  Other kids had Meccano but I could never figure out what to make with it.  Similarly, with Lego, it seemed like too much effort to make a shitty version of a house or something like that.  My imagination didn’t run in that direction.

What kind of creative acts did you enjoy?

When the punk ideology hit, the ‘anyone can do it’ attitude, I wanted desperately to be the singer in a band and so set about writing lyrics.  This was from about aged 11.

A little later this also turned into writing brief poetic thoughts of which I was constantly churning out.

I always enjoyed doing that though somewhere along the way in my 20s, I stopped writing those until I started again in 2020 when I remembered how much I enjoyed it and got back to doing it again.

When did you write your first poem?

I guess it would have been in 1984 when I was 15 or 16 though I probably had some before that, written for an English class.  The earliest things that I held onto were from 1984.

What was it about?

Poems from that time were about petty thoughts and trivialities of a schoolboy’s life.  It turned serious though as depression sunk in and the future looked bleak.  Back then though I could write about any little thing that sparked my interest.  It was fun.

How did you come to poetry?

As described above, through writing lyrics.  I still consider what I write mostly as being lyrics rather than poetry.