Upbeat, positive and happy but a little tired (I think from blurred vision – or is my blurred vision from being tired?)
Today I’m grateful for:
The local weed shop being open today, splashing water on anyone passing by.
We now have two weed shops in the village!
The best thing about today was:
Dad’s larb pla for lunch, still hot from the pan and creating a perfect sweat for this heat.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was actually looking forward to going to SanKong for an hour or so, knowing it would be a joyous occasion, everyone having fun in a communal free-for-all.
After lunch, I went and sat in the aircon as Amy, family and friends were making desserts. She said it would take a couple of hours and that was perfect. Once they’re done we can drive to SanKong, I can hang out for a bit before going home, leaving Amy to keep drinking with her friends.
I soon dozed off and not woken up again until 4.30 pm, a couple of hours later than expected. Amy was already into her wine and understood when I said I’d just go home directly as it was late afternoon now.
Something I learned today?
Yesterday there was a knife attack in Bondi Junction Westfield and five people were killed. It’s an odd feeling for something like this to happen in a place that I’m familiar with.
I took this picture because I was actually expecting to have a bunch of photos from Sankong’s Songkran celebration today but I didn’t make it and I have a sore neck.
A disappointing practice of guitar has got me down and now the blaring PA system of the neighbours celebrating Songkran is annoying me. I just want quiet – to think, to read. It was fun to see the children preparing to start splashing everyone this morning though.
The skies are clearer than the last few weeks, there’s some breeze and the temperature quite bearable. Only one thing for us to do today – shopping.
Today I’m grateful for:
Art giving me a free cake for Songkran today.
Also, Amy wanting to go to Big C and allowing me to drop a couple of things in the trolley that I wanted.
She also paid for Swenson’s ice cream for our dessert – which was great and all but nothing on LungChom’s ice cream.
Needless to say, I’m putting on weight this month.
The best thing about today was:
Finding a baby cow at the front door!
We both heard some mooing outside our living room window but it sounded to me as if it was in the field at the back. A few minutes later we heard it at the front, though thought it was still coming from the field next door.
A second time though and we went to investigate to find the little cutie confused on how to get back to its mum that was calling from the field next door.
We were eventually able to usher it out and back where it immediately got to suckling and security.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Both Baipad and Anchan have been out of contact for a couple of days.
There’s nothing to be done, I just hope that they are both doing ok for now.
Something I learned today?
I found a very funny comedian on YouTube called Dan Rath. He’s from Sydney too.
What’s a question I’ve been pondering lately?
I have been thinking a little about what is next? Am I just going to keep on documenting my life up until this point without really adding anything further to it? Am I done?
I am weirdly happy and satisfied though.
Or am I just old, tired and lazy?
Pondering questions raises more questions.
I took this picture because we take pictures of our visitors.
It’s still early but I think I feel a little more motivated than yesterday. I’m lesson planning already and that’s going well, so it’s a good start.
I think I need to be busy, doing stuff, to keep myself occupied. If I get lazy and don’t move my brain and body I start to atrophy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The poetry folks who post prompts and ideas that inspire me to write. I don’t know how many other people might think that I write quite well but I write for myself and when I look back at things that I’ve written I often feel proud and impressed.
I started a free poetry course at one site and struggled with the first assignment which was to write about yourself. It should be easy, most of my poetry is about myself but when asked specifically to do it, where do you start?
Oddly enough, I ended up writing a poem today that was written for four different prompts but ended up being about myself almost directly and I will use it as a part of what I submit.
The best thing about today was:
Getting enough lesson plans done to feel comfortable that I know what I’m doing. I can see the way forward to having enough done for the semester and working out what is needed for the rest of the year too.
Let’s hope that the students reach my expectations of what I have planned for them; otherwise I will have to do some quick revisions.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’ve been happy to get a lot done today but have also felt a little annoyed at times, though not acted on, just in my head, by little things. It was when I was watching TV, though, that I really noticed bad tinnitus in my left ear and it’s still bothering me now.
I’m not sure exactly what has brought this on. I did play guitar for about 20 minutes but it wasn’t at a volume as excessive as I sometimes play. Usually, the ear ringing comes and goes but it seems to be hanging around today.
Something I learned today?
Utopia will only open in the morning this weekend as they will all go and celebrate Songkran in the city in the afternoons.
A couple of days ago, I learned that Nick at Daytripper will leave for Australia, where he’s hoping to work as a barista in Sydney. With him going, Art decided to close the shop completely as he is too busy to keep it going.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
As I mentioned above I did get internally annoyed many times today. However, biting my teeth through all that I did everything that Amy asked of me, particularly when she ran in from the garden with her skin boiling up in an allergic reaction to something. I got her ice, rubbed on lotions and creams, and did this and that.
She’s disappointed that she is allergic to something (probably the hairy worms), as when the temperature is good, she enjoys pottering about out there.
I took this picture because Fat Tig was taking a break, as was I.
A bit agitated, deflated and flat today. Also, despite a drop in temperature (though not very significant) my body feels hotter than usual.
I got an hour or so of planning done this morning and perhaps having to do all this preparation is playing on my mind a little too.
I should also mention that last week I started taking a couple of multivitamins, a couple of resveratol and a couple of creatine supplements.
I am still cynical about their effectiveness in general but consider that I may be lacking certain things in my diet as I have been eating less for the last year or two.
So I’m not sure if it is because of the supplements or because it’s holiday time but I do feel like I have more energy and also feel less sleepy and tired. I guess I’ll find out more about their effectiveness when I get back into the swing of school again.
Today I’m grateful for:
The odd job man, recommended by Amy’s friend Hangie, who was as good as his word and came on time, replaced our roof tile (though not sure how securely!) and propped up our fence (which is definitely a temporary thing) at the corner of the garden. He only wanted 100 baht too. We gave him 200.
The best thing about today was:
Nothing in particular. My mood and energy picked up a little by the evening but not to the point of any real inspiration.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My mood was weird and unexplainable today. It wasn’t anything out of control just a general lack. Handled by soldiering on through the day.
Something I learned today?
My old student Kamboom will be in M4 (grade 10) next year (already!). She got top grades last year – she’s a good student, for sure. She wants to learn Japanese now.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
A lot of nice chats with a few of my grade 7 students just to check in to see how they are doing.
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Besides our love for each other, which goes beyond our minor niggles with having lived together for 15 years or more, the first thing to mention is the love we have for our cats.
As we commemorate little Kim’s passing one year ago this week, we stress and worry about old man Cappuccino.
All our cats have gone through phases of being healthy and happy with periods of sick and sorry. Tigger seems to be in his healthy phase at the moment and has no complications from having HIV. We know when he doesn’t feel well because he usually never refuses food, fat furry fuck that he is!
For some reason, he has started talking more and become more affectionate recently. Maybe he knows that something is up with Cap and is trying to tell us?
Another thing that we have in common is our understanding of fidelity.
We both know that if we stray then that is the end of ‘us’. That suits us both.
I personally don’t believe in fidelity for everyone, or perhaps even at all. It doesn’t seem quite natural. It is a construct of our society. But it is something that I believe in doing for myself because I grew up in this society.
The third thing that we have in common is our way of thinking. I guess this follows on from the more specific issue of fidelity.
In our relationship, we are completely understanding of each other’s interests and passions and happily let each other indulge in them alone. Where many couples insist on being together all the time, we have never subscribed to putting each other through the tortures of enduring things like my music or her love of dancing to English 90s pop!
Since I’ve stopped drinking so much this has made it a little difficult for us to go together for a night out though I do submit from time to time.
I took this picture because I’m hoping that some of these mangoes get to their full potential this year. The whole tree is sprouting like never before. But a couple already got blown off by the storms over the last couple of nights.
She, little fighting girl walking the woods, The big bad wolves ripped her pretty dress, All her dreams now become a nightmare, She skirts around the pain deep inside her.
He runs wild, teeth and snarl, with big bad wolves, Egged on and eager, salivating so, ripping at her pretty dress, her cries echo into the darkness of his soul.
Inspired after reading Yassy’s poem, the form is apparently a tetracyt. Also submitted to NaPoMo.
Today I’m feeling:
A little stressed with my morning coffee and trying to get my brain in gear with the lesson planning. It’s kicking in slowly and I’m familiar with this stage of progress when I have many, many ideas floating around and can’t keep up with them. The rest of the day has been up and down.
Today I’m grateful for:
Momo making it to lunch today, after she messaged me yesterday that she may not be able to make it. With Popo and Baitong we had a good catch-up over pizza and I’m happy to hear their English improvements since we last met.
The best thing about today was:
Firstly, not having to pay anything for my dental appointment and then trying the pharmacy at Central and finding 50mg tramadol for only 45 baht.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Baipad messaged me this morning telling me that she was in the hospital as she attempted to overdose (which I presume must have been last night).
I didn’t get much more information from her so I’m not sure what brought this on. It suggests something happened out in her family village which is a bit of a worry as she mentioned bad things happening to her there before.
In the evening Anchan messaged me that she too was also in the hospital but for her it was for stomach ulcers, brought on by the stress of her family situation, no doubt.
She also told me that she and her brother also inherited the heart problem that killed her father a couple of years ago.
Something I learned today?
This morning we found that a tile from our roof got blown off in the storm last night. Amy learned that trying to get someone to come and fix it is a complete pain in the ass.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Trying to keep on encouraging Baipad and Anchan through their difficulties.
Treating Popo, Momo and Baitong to a pizza lunch and then playing along with their TikTok videos. It was great to catch up with them, three of my favourite students.
I took this picture because how could I refuse my favourite students asking to make TikTok videos in the shopping mall in front of passing shoppers.
Born lucky, amongst cat’s kisses Brought love and calmly kept But laughing aloud cools kinship Banging loudly and can kneel
Business lull as corporations kaput Broken laws allow constables kvetching Black light awareness, cooly kindhearted Both looking around catching kittens
Pretty good though this heat is a killer. I’ve made an agreement with myself not to complain about it though.
It also seems like last night’s mala upset my stomach a little bit this morning but I should be good to go for the rest of the day?
Today I’m grateful for:
Going to Lost and Found, a new cocktail bar in Chiang Rai, after Amy was disappointed with The Space due to poor service and average food.
The best thing about today was:
Starting organising lessons for next semester. It was a bit of a headache and I only did it for a couple of hours, whilst at Utopia for morning coffee, but it is something that will kickstart my brain again to fill in all the gaps that I need.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When we arrived at The Space we sat outside next to the river but with the humidity and the sun setting suddenly there was a great birthing of insects which usually indicates the coming of rain. Let’s hope so but at this time these little critters were dropping into our drinks, food and clothes. We quickly dashed inside with everything.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
A couple of weeks ago Amy drunkenly said she wished that she had a globe and then forgot all about it – but I didn’t. I ordered one from Lazada that arrived a couple of days ago and left it for her to find this morning. Sadly, on opening the box we found that it was badly packed and the cheap plastic base had splintered a little. So my next task is to super glue it and then assemble it. Amy seemed less excited about it than when she was drunk but never mind. Happy anniversary little Amy!
Whilst Amy was extremely upset at the restaurant I tried to stay calm and enjoy some of the food and quickly picked up that we should leave with haste.
I took this picture because as Amy had checked in at Lost and Found on Facebook, earning herself six free shots!
I’ll play a song for you, in this empty room Spill my heart for no one else to hear And when I reach the end of my tune I’ll turn off the lights and disappear
The memory of my words will stay Reverberating around these cold walls And when you wander by one day You will hear the whisper of my calls
“Be careful what you wish for When hope blinds you to the signs Forgetting that less means more Living the curse of interesting times”
A little slow to get going this morning as I turned off my alarm to sleep an extra hour.
Starting to think about getting lessons in order and writing new ones for my new classes. It’s giving me some good background anxiety but I trust myself to be able to pull everything together.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally being able to book flights to Bangkok and back in May to see Arwith and the bands I’ve been working with.
The best thing about today was:
Eating mala sticks this evening. A simple thing but we haven’t done that for a long while.
It was hot enough, even at 8pm, to sweat when sitting still so eating those spicy sticks didn’t really make much difference!
Something I learned today?
Booking AirAsia flights on the website was giving me trouble but using the app on my phone worked instantly.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Staying in touch with Anchan to try and help her through this time.
Talking with Baipad about dealing with her mental health issues.
Pretty good even though I slept badly due to aching shoulders. I should probably get them checked out as it’s been painful for about six months already.
I got up early so that I could watch the Swans game this morning.
I need to book flights to Bangkok to meet up with Arwith in early May, order a filter for our air purifier and will take Baipad and Butter to practice riding the motorbike again.
In amongst all that I’ll do all the things I usually do too; reading, writing, thinking and planning.
Today I’m grateful for:
My alarm getting me up and into action this morning. I could easily have slept another three hours but glad that I gave myself that extra time to do things.
The best thing about today was:
It’s been a pretty good day all round. It was 41 degrees and the house was like an oven so I spent most of my time in aircon.
I didn’t read or play guitar today but did clear up a backlog of emails.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I got back from coffee I prepared everything to watch the AFL but it wasn’t working, which was unusual. I saw one error about location so I downloaded a free VPN and tried some different locations. None of those worked either but they also didn’t have the option to set the server to Australia.
I checked if the Highlights and Mini Matches still worked and they were fine. But even last week’s full match replays were no longer available.
I searched online to see if there might be some information about this and ended up posting on Reddit. Whilst waiting for any response I found another VPN that had an Australian server and finally, I was able to watch the game (which was an unconvincing win).
It looks like someone else had the same problem too so I guess I need to figure out a VPN to watch full games in future. The one I used, TunnelBear, has a 2G data limit and I’m not sure if that is daily, weekly or monthly. I really don’t want to have to pay for a VPN just to watch one match a week.
Something I learned today?
Butter’s mum came and introduced herself to me and when we got back from riding I also met his dad and sister, Cookie! Great names!
Cookie will start grade 7 at my school next month though I won’t be teaching her.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
More encouragement for Butter and Baipad with motorbike riding.
Butter has pretty much got it already and Baipad improved a little more today too. I think that gave her a mini confidence boost.
I can see from her actions that whatever bullying she suffered when she was younger has really knocked her self-confidence. She is still vulnerable to other people who could easily bully and manipulate her.
I also sent another 100 baht to Anchan.
When was the last time I tried something new?
Although I can’t pinpoint it I believe that I try something new every day. The journey through our minutes is diverted off course consistently. Even the Trumans Show fell apart eventually and Groundhog Day was never actually the same.
But something deliberately new? So something interesting? Not just a new restaurant, a new book, a new poem, a new song to listen to?
How about a new country, a new house, a new job, a new hobby?
Read anything here, there is nothing new and something new on every page.
Write about a time when you laughed uncontrollably.
Back in 1989 (I think) I was thrilled to be outside of England for the first time in my life and playing shows with my friends in Belgium and Holland. I soon bonded with our Dutch host Mark and we would drink, get high and laugh a lot much like any other early twenty-year-olds would.
At this one of our shows, which was an amazingly fun night where Mike, from the New York band Shaved Pigs (who had hung on a bit longer after their tour had finished the week previous) joined us on saxophone for our epic jam tune, there was a radio interview at the end of the evening.
Thoroughly happy and drunk, Mark, who was the interviewer, asked me to recite a couple of poems that I had written that he had seen before.
I think I read The Day The Apples Turned To Poison but hassled for more I was requested to read She Lost Her Virginity To A Worm. The anticipation in the room for this short poem was too much and I couldn’t even get to the end of it as Mark and I were in fits of giggles.
A fascinating radio listen? I doubt very much!
I took this picture because His Majesty was looking regal, watching over the dining room this morning. I’m so glad that he is feeling better this week.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to realise A life isn’t lived if it’s lived in fear Even though we fall we still hope to rise We sure could use a drink down here
The further we go the further back we get* The possibilities only ever feel near Along the way exclaiming ‘Are we there yet?’ We sure could use a drink down here
Wherever this winding river will lead Its waters are more muddy than clear It pays to suffer, it pays to bleed And we sure could use a drink down here
Lazy and happy. Woke up at 10 am and have not been motivated to do much of anything really.
I came across this quote yesterday that I quite liked:
“Delusions believed by billions are still delusions and the truth of one humanity embraced by even one human is still the truth.”
Abhijit Naskar
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally receiving my classes list for next semester. I have a wider range of classes so will have to do more preparation and will start getting into that on Monday.
The best thing about today was:
Eating a bowl of LungChom ice cream. It’s been a year that I’ve been denying myself because it is so nice and I was getting too fat from it, so I’ll enjoy it again now and try to resist falling into any further addiction.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Talking with Anchan breaks my heart. She doesn’t know anything about what happened with her mum in court and is sad, lonely and frustrated in Chiang Mai. I discovered that her mum is in a Myanmar prison which is just a nightmare.
I suggested many things to try and take her mind off her situation but she is in a pretty negative state of mind. She did cry that she should be enjoying her teenage life and not having to deal with all this.
I saw that her and Fah were friendly at the end of last semester so I contacted Fah and asked her to chat with Anchan, just to be a friend. I hope some contact will keep her a little grounded.
Something I learned today?
Bonism – the doctrine that the world is good, although not the best of all possible worlds
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I moved around some plants for Amy and fixed up the vine plant so that it should grow over the empty roof space and hopefully give some natural shade at least.
Mee took this picture sometime last year. I’m pleased that she is feeling better than last year.
Mother, I’m not like you I’m not wise to your ways I’m barely a teen And can see through your plays
Is it better raised like this Or for you to be taken away? When you are gone Where do you expect me to stay?
When Dad died we fought hard To make our way together Until you saw the glitter of gold That turned out to be old leather
Uncle tried a little bit but can’t even manage himself! He just takes ALL the money, I don’t know where ALL I’ve got is INSTANT NOODLES for the rest of the MONTH! Mother don’t leave me here, I know you still care…
A STRANGER came to me today and SPUN A GREAT STORY OF FORTUNE I didn’t know whether to BELIEVE HIM BUT I’VE NO ONE ELSE TO TRUST! I ALWAYS TRIED TO DO WHAT’S RIGHT BUT LOOK WHERE THAT HAS GOTTEN ME!? WITH NOWHERE ELSE TO GO I’LL HAVE TO DO AS NEEDS MUST – Sigh!
…
Mother, I don’t want to be like you I don’t want to be wise to those ways I’m still a vulnerable child at heart But I’ll hold on to anything that stays
Sadly, a situation facing one of my best and favourite students right now, though I have taken the poem where I hope it doesn’t end up for her. Submitted to the Word of the Day Challenge – Vulnerability and NaPoMo.
Pretty good again today. Though the pollution is getting worse I, at least, seem to have gotten over any allergic reaction. For now, anyway.
Today I’m grateful for:
The people who came and removed the roof from our entertainment area so that when the storms come this year the winds should just blow through instead of ripping the roof off. It’s a shame to see it all laid out on the floor to be taken away. That was expensive stuff.
The best thing about today was:
Lazily going about my day getting things done that I wanted to do, with a little bit of everything thrown in.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I ate a weed brownie and started reading about the Boer War and how some folks back then saw the British Empire’s decline in the same exact way that happened to the Romans and as is happening to the USA now.
It’s just wild to watch people (societies) walk into the same mistakes that have happened over the centuries.
Anyway, all that was fascinating until I got to the end of a section and wanted to listen to music. I stuck on some CHROMB! and put my brain into overdrive trying to keep track of what the musicians were doing.
I was happily lost in its madness and was in a trance-like state for the best part of an hour. I think I handled that pretty well then!
Something I learned today?
Wholesome news:
Dozens of Huskies Escape Pet Cafe in China
The barking mad footage from a Shenzhen shopping centre shows the dogs running wild after a customer failed to close the door properly. It reportedly took about one hour to round them up.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I took out the garbage this morning which was easier said than done as our usual dumping area on the road has disappeared with the work going on. Luckily there is another area not far away though.
I unpacked the packages of cat food, put them away in the cupboard and broke down the boxes.
I cleaned out the gutters, urging rain to come and fill them.
I watered the mango tree which is budding hundreds of tiny fruit. Let’s hope some make it to maturity this year.
I took this picture yesterday because the restaurant we went to for lunch had these two coloured grasses along their driveway just like we do. But I kinda like it in monochrome.
1994ever 