Pretty good again. The air is pretty putrid again today. You can taste it, not just smell it.
Today I’m grateful for:
The delivery people who still manage to get our parcels to us from all around the world, despite all the disruptions in our soi from the new road being built. 4 parcels were delivered while we were out.
The best thing about today was:
The air was slightly clearer the higher up the mountains we got but then once up there it was impossible to see any view.
Most of the restaurants and resorts were closed but we found one and enjoyed Akha food and coffee before hitting Charin Pie and LungChom for desserts.
We should get home around 5 pm and hoping the electricity is back on.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In our soi, they are moving the electricity poles today so they cut off the electricity all along. And today it’s forty degrees! No choice but to go out somewhere so we took a lazy drive up to Doi Chang.
Something I learned today?
Anchan messaged me again. She is staying in Chiang Mai by herself as her extended family is working in BKK.
Her mum, who is in jail, will go to court tomorrow and may end up in prison. She sent Anchan some money to take care of herself and some bills but her uncle, whose house she stays in in Chiang Rai, demanded it all off her.
She’s only 14 and has to deal with all this. She is keen to work to support herself and is highly motivated but I’m also worried about her being vulnerable and could easily be taken advantage of.
She’s smart but the offer of good money for selling her body could sway her and I don’t want that to happen.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent Anchan 200 baht to keep her going.
She didn’t want me to send her money and I can’t afford it much either but there is little else I can do. Even emotional support can’t buy her some vegetables.
I messaged some other of my vulnerable kids today to try and keep some dialogues open.
I took this picture because these red buds stood out at this little water feature as we entered Suan Charin Pie this afternoon.
Like time is running away too fast. I should not waste what I have been given. But is any of it worthwhile? Well, it has to be. I convince myself.
Today I’m grateful for:
The man at the bottle shop who put the tray of soda water onto the back seat of the truck for me.
The best thing about today was:
Taking Baipad and her neighbour Butter (another one, a boy this time, though quite effeminate) up to the University to teach them to ride a motorbike.
Baipad struggled but Butter picked it up quickly. It was only after talking with them both a little more I discovered that Butter had learned how to ride a pushbike but Baipad never did. Butter still has a bike so I told Baipad to practice on that as soon as possible. Better she falls off that than a motorbike.
After a few more goes Baipad improved every time but she needs to practice more to get her balance worked out.
Something I learned today?
The current Zionist-enforced famine in Gaza is the highest number of people ever recorded as facing catastrophic hunger. Worse than Darfur, Somalia and Yemen.
Israel teaching the world how to genocide. The irony?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I fixed the hose with the new connector that Amy picked up. Works perfectly again.
Teaching riding a motorbike to a couple of 15-year-olds.
What’s one thing I can simplify?
I have simplified a lot over the last few years. As my main focus now is teaching I think that I could simplify my classes for my students, though more importantly for myself.
Sometimes I overestimate the ability of my students and with the usual disparity of skill levels in a single classroom it is a delicate balance to try and keep everyone happy.
I took this picture because one day these kids will look back and remember when they didn’t know how to ride a bike.
Are you receiving My vibrations, Detecting these Oscillations?
I’ve got a message for you That you’re gonna wanna hear Are you receiving me Loud and clear?
Signals in space Time has come A human race Together as one
I’ve got a message for you You’d better be ready There’s only growing up To keep the ship steady
Are you receiving These modulations? Mind control Manipulations
Message understood You’d better tell everyone That you’re ready For what will come
Inspired by the main story of the Three Body Problem and an allegory for a student of mine who is struggling to grow up to face the future. Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – radio and NaPoMo.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty healthy and active. Amy was out last night with Takky, Hangy and Berm so I had some free time to read, write and watch TV. And it appears to be more of the same tonight too. I want to be productive.
As I jumped into bed last night I caught this thought as I was opening up Telegram to get the latest reports from Rise of the Global South. ‘I read just enough tragic news that the axis of evil inflicts on people around the world to go to sleep with just the right amount of indignation.’
This month usually sees me making some adaptations to things that I do. I deleted a whole bunch of Substack subscriptions. One, because there are other things I want to do with my time and two, I’m sick of reading so much about the dysfunction and lies from and about the USA. It seems like inconsequential news to me these days. It is all so negative and decisive too. It’s not a good impact on the psyche.
I want to focus more on Asia and China as it is more relevant to my location and news is mostly just that – news. No opinions, no vague nonsense masquerading as news. And I also want to avoid news that is constantly comparing the USA and China. It’s kinda moot these days.
Today I’m grateful for:
A quiet day of few plans, all achieved.
The best thing about today was:
Spending some time dinking around in my room, trying to organise computer files, reading and writing, though no guitar playing today.
Something I learned today?
Through some miracle, Ipswich is in the top position in the Championship. It’s super close with Leeds and Leicester in the race too.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I spent some time this morning tidying up our cables along the fence.
I also cleaned out the litter tray and swept the floor in our bedroom.
Pretty good again. Trying not to think too much about the events on this day last year. We go on until we don’t.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to easily find the Chinese TV version of The Three Body Problem. I’ll watch that over the holidays.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to sneak a coffee from 22 Grams this afternoon as we took Cap to get checked at the vet. Still the best coffee in Chiang Rai for me.
Cap’s blood levels are a little high for his kidneys now so we have to get him tested again in a couple of weeks.
Something I learned today?
I think it is at the UN that the USA is always found in breach of rules and they always launch an appeal.
But appeals are never heard so that the USA doesn’t have to follow the rules until the appeal is over.
Why are the appeals never heard? Because since the last two appeals judges retired the USA has blocked the positions of any new ones.
Hmm – and they call themselves part of the rules-based order.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I ordered a 32” globe for Amy as an anniversary gift. I hope it isn’t too plastic and cheap-looking when it arrives.
I took this picture because yesterday the gardeners came and tried to trip our hedge so that we push the fence back up. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple and we’ll ask the builder who is coming to fix the drain in the garage soon.
Much improved. Almost normal even! Is it a psychological trait of mine? A mental quirk? Does my brain make me feel ill when there are things that I’m supposed to do that I really can’t be fucked to do?
And now, Sunday – usually the day before going back to work (which I love when there are students at school and detest when there aren’t and we are there just because we are supposed to be) but tomorrow is the first day of the holiday. Has circumstance suddenly tricked me into feeling well?
It’s also weird to be annoyed at having five weeks holiday this year, a week more than last year, and this is because it is the worst time of year here for air pollution and five weeks in October would be so much more preferable. But like I say it’s weird to be bothered about having extra holiday time!
Today I’m grateful for:
Uncle Nit next door who is helping us sort out some extra work that we need to connect up our drainage to the new drains being added under the widened road.
Uncle also told us that he’s never seen anything come out of our drain so I’m not exactly sure where our wastewater even goes.
The best thing about today was:
Getting this message from one of my grade 10 students Miwkey:
I am impressed and enjoy learning in the teacher’s lesson. Since I studied with foreign teachers, I have never met a teacher like you. I’ve only encountered foreign teachers who use their emotions towards their students while not paying attention to the lessons they teach in the classroom.
I kind of understand what she means – I think there are many teachers who don’t and sometimes can’t actually assist with explaining some things and just tell the students that they are stupid and should figure it out for themselves. Sigh.
I do also ask them to figure things out for themselves but I’m going to guide them with effective methods that they can remember and reuse.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Whilst at Utopia Amy called me to pick up some veggies at the market. When I got back she saw them and exclaimed ‘Noooo, not that one! Go back now!’
Luckily I was in a good mood and quickly went back and got the correct ones.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
More encouragement for students via LINE.
What word or phrase sums up this month?
Tired would pretty much be it. Is it that I’m tired after this busy school year? Because I invest so much of myself into it emotionally? It’s not really been that busy since Christmas.
Perhaps it’s a combination of that and missing the kids, the heat and air pollution and not really having any plans to go anywhere.
But I did feel better today at least.
Amy took this picture because she wanted to show off her tamarind eggs. Unfortunately, she got a crazy teacher in the shot too!
More reasonable today though still not breathing properly and have itchy tired eyes.
I slept for almost 12 hours though it wasn’t all good sleep but I was happy to at least have the opportunity anyway. Getting up late meant that the day disappeared fairly quickly.
After coffee, I came back and watched some videos before a delicious experimental lunch that Amy made of roasted vegetable lasagna but instead of lasagna sheets using soft tortillas instead.
Then some more 3 Body Problem, more videos (I didn’t move much today!) then I made it to my room to play guitar but I wasn’t quite in the mood but still managed about 25 minutes. My room is super hot in the afternoons now and I need to go there and play guitar in the mornings when my brain feels more alert!
I’m also reminded that I need to get back to my Thaipod101 lessons now that I have some free time again.
And also I want to do some study around active listening. I figure that after 56 years on earth, I might actually start listening to what other people have to say! Of course, I may find out the opposite too.
Today I’m grateful for:
The cowman from a couple of doors down.
This evening I was about to go out and close the gate and noticed something black on the grass. On closer inspection, it was cow shit! When did that get there! We were out in the garden in the afternoon and it wasn’t there then.
I grabbed a torch and walked around the garden just to check that whatever visitors we had had gone before going to close the gate. When I got to the gate it was already shut. I figured that a cow must’ve come in and the cowman found it, chased it back out and closed the gate behind him.
The mystery was soon confirmed by our CCTV system – a mum and calf with the cowman chasing them out!
The best thing about today was:
Amy’s lunch and then in the evening, Amy’s delicious peach crumble with chocolate ice cream. What a lucky guy I am. Or was I just smart enough to pick the best person for me to marry?
Something I learned today?
Last year in the world happiness index, China was number 1, followed by Saudi Arabia and then the Netherlands. In this year’s report neither China nor Saudi Arabia were in the top 30. That’s strange! It turns out that even though their data was collected it wasn’t used in the final report meaning a white Western nation (The Netherlands) is the happiest in the world. At least, if you cherry-pick the data to your agenda.
Also, whilst watching the Netflix 3 Body Problem it seemed fairly obvious to me that the ‘China Bad’ narrative was highlighted intentionally. It followed the book in that it was a Chinese woman who made contact with the aliens but as the rest of the series wasn’t set in China, as most of the book was, it bluntly exposes Western audiences to a message of ’look what the terrible Chinese did.’ Sigh.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent more messages out to students about their holidays. Checking in with them.
Paen sent me another message out of the blue talking about ending her life again. I wrote back quickly but still haven’t had an answer. I just sent her another encouraging message. I hope she’s ok.
I took this picture when closing the gate a couple of nights ago. Is this a blood moon or air pollution?
Really tired again. It feels like I just can’t get enough good unbroken sleep. Cap woke us both up again last night, vomiting up some food.
I’m starting to feel really concerned for him now. He’s not eating or drinking enough and is all saggy skin and bones. It feels like this might be his final days but I hope I’m wrong.
Maybe I’m just being overly cautious after being less concerned with Kim Chi last year.
Today I’m grateful for:
The people who found Leo after he ran off this evening and Amy had to go and ride around to search for him. Without luck, she then just happened to check a local online message board where someone had posted that they’d found a lost dog. That crazy Leo!
The best thing about today was:
Watching more of the 3 Body Problem. I don’t have energy for much at the moment and am already in bed at 8 pm.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After a couple of coffees, I cancelled meeting up with Matt and figured to go to school and sign the documents to get paid before going home to catch up on sleep. Nancy sent a reminder to go to sign the documents so that was my trigger to leave.
It was already about 36 degrees and with the bad air and lack of sleep, I was super dizzy, especially after walking up to the fourth floor where waiting for me was absolutely no one.
I was about to pass out and couldn’t wait around and so left a message with Nancy saying there was no one there and I was sick and leaving.
When I got home there was another message from Nancy saying that if I didn’t sign today I would be paid late, without giving any indication of what late meant.
I flaked into bed but couldn’t get a good rest, sleeping for maybe only twenty minutes. I tried to get Kru Mai to go and sign for me. Why not! Why do we even need to go through this nonsense every month?
At three-forty, looking like there was no other way around it I decided to drive back just to sign their paper.
I took this picture because this tree at school is blossoming and looked great with the sun rising and the school building in contrast.
Super tired again. Yesterday I managed to resist an afternoon nap and I got to sleep OK, until Cap kept crying to go in and out of the bedroom and then to be fed. Happy to know that he has his appetite but I just want to sleep more!
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy and her family deciding to go for a fish lunch out in the rice fields. It was good to do something different though it was funny that they decided on the restaurant that Bruno and I went and tried as we were riding by a year or two ago.
Also to Kru Karn who offered me her shelf space in the teacher’s room to keep my things. I’ll do that for now but may move it to somewhere more suitable later.
The best thing about today was:
Reading more about the British Empire in Africa. It was interesting to read that there were people who abhorred the colonial treatment of other human beings at the time. Interesting in that nothing much has changed, sadly.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I haven’t been able to do any more lesson planning as I haven’t been able to get more information from Kru Mai about my classes yet. It’s a little frustrating as it is what we are supposed to be doing this week and now it means I will have to do more in the actual holiday time.
When I went to school just before lunch I found lots of people cleaning out the office space for Kru Puu who will stay in there in future. Unfortunately, this means moving my stuff out from there and also not being able to use it for one-to-one speaking exercises anymore. A lot of student’s work that I was keeping to look at later was also missing, presumably thrown out. Oh well. Nothing stays the same.
Something I learned today?
I just got sent a video by Noey. It was of me riding the wrong way at the traffic lights (to save time) as I was out getting a tub of ice cream at the 7-11. She must have been on her bike at the traffic lights going in the other direction.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I messaged a few more students today and had little conversations of encouragement with them.
I took this picture because this was the view from our restaurant table at lunch time.
The truth took the wind from me I’m still not ready to stand This isn’t the way it was meant to be It’s not quite how I planned
I cannot face this world today Please comfort me, I am in need Give me the power to walk away To heal me as I bleed
Together in the world we’ve built And the challenges we are thrown After all the tears we’ve spilled We will never walk alone
A second submission to WDYS (picture above) and inspired by events from last night
Today I’m feeling:
Super tired due to waking up a couple of times during the night as Amy was checking on Cap who was very restless and crying often.
It’s still difficult to see if there is anything specifically wrong but Amy will take him back to the vet to double-check this morning.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finding Amy starting to watch the Netflix version of the Three Body Problem, so I said Hey, let’s watch it together.
I will try to put out of my mind how good the books were and try to judge this on its own merits.
The best thing about today was:
Cap seeming to improve a little after stopping one of the medicines the vet had given him a couple of days ago. He’s still not eating or drinking much but he seems to be getting better rest and looks to be in less discomfort.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I rolled with the things that were working against me and sure enough, by sitting still and doing nothing, the world revolved full circle and back into my favour.
Something I learned today?
I met Kru Ren this morning and discovered that he has been tasked with creating the full curriculum for the integrated English classes next year. He’s flummoxed! He knows what a stupidly huge task he has been given and I commiserated with him because it’s pretty crazy to be given just a few weeks (that should be a holiday) to prepare.
It seems that he is also tasked to teach it and he has made the same complaint as myself – we don’t have the knowledge level to teach the sciences and other subjects.
Even things that we do have knowledge of would take much preparation to teach at the grade 7 level.
When I was doing the same in primary it would often take me six hours prep to teach a two hour class!
Good luck Kru Ren!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I talked with Kru Lucky about information on scholarships and exchange programs to pass on to Anchan, which I duly did.
To be honest, I’m not very optimistic that she can achieve a full scholarship and I hope that she doesn’t get disheartened.
She did seem to have a couple of backup plans though so it seems she has already thought about this.
She’s a good kid and deserves better than what her situation is offering her.
I took this picture because as I was waiting for Amy this little chap flew up for a quick inspection and I just managed to get my phone out in time for this shot before darting off to his nest.
When judgement comes, what may you say In your defence? For every tiny part you play Comes at some expense With violence spent, you walked away All of it forgotten Whilst those you hurt were forced to stay Sour and turning rotten
When judgement comes, it will be Seen from your heart For better or worse, you set me free You played your part A part in miniature, a part of me Reborn stronger My part in this is plain to see And I will stay longer
Uncertain. I just looked in the mirror and felt old and worthless. Perhaps it’s because I’m not around the energy of the kids at the moment.
Last night Amy also cried that Thailand isn’t her place anymore and that she feels more at home in Australia. There’s a lot behind that but there is also a factor that I haven’t written about here because it’s a sensitive topic and the situation is ongoing. Needless to say, I understand her feeling, whilst not sharing it.
She also asked me if I would ever go back to England to live and I said no, which made me consider her position.
I seem to have really found myself here and just have no real idea what I would do with myself back in Australia.
Anyway, this is not a new feeling or thought and is not able to be actioned upon just yet due to having our cats and our home here, which we would need to sell. Sometime in the future though, it looks a given that we will be back in Australia.
Today I’m grateful for:
My student, Nong Aoi, who called me this evening as she was happily cooking and eating with her boyfriend and friends. Despite giving me big headaches last year enough to make me worry that she was going off the rails, she has calmed down a little now and is quite sweet and affectionate. I think it’s nice that my students feel comfortable enough to call me. I’m doubtful that they call other any other teachers.
Yesterday I also messaged a little with Nong Nam, who was Aoi’s accomplice in giving me grief last year. She has also matured a little more now and said that she really appreciates that I contact her every six months or so to check in on her. Sometimes it’s the small actions that make all the difference.
The best thing about today was:
Quietly reading 2000AD and Judge Dread Megazine stories after getting home mid-afternoon. It was excellent and I was savouring the time spent.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got a glimpse of my new classes from Kru Mai today and whilst he has taken heed of my reluctance to be involved with the Integrated classes for next semester he has spread me out into other high school classes which means figuring out new lessons to teach.
I would also not teach any grade 7 classes, for which I already have a hundred lessons accumulated over the last three years. Oh well, new challenges lay ahead.
Cappuccino is still not looking too good at the moment and doesn’t seem to be able to settle himself into a comfortable position, like there’s something not right in his hips or belly. Poking around doesn’t seem to cause him any discomfort but something is obviously not right.
Amy and I are both wary as it was at this time last year that Kim got sick and went to the vet a couple of times until that fateful day she didn’t come back alive.
Something I learned today?
In medieval Europe, mercury was used in medicine and manufacturing. Hatters were specifically exposed to mercuric nitrate, a form of inorganic mercury.
By 1837, “mad as a hatter” was a common saying.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent messages out to a few more students today to check in on how they are doing. I discovered that Anchan is having a tough time of things these days.
She has been living with her uncle as the rest of her family have been put in prison for an illegal online gambling website! She says her uncle is never around so she has to take care of the house and as she is not getting any money from her mum now she has to help her grandmum with selling things and gets barely enough to buy herself food.
And all that is taking away from her school work where, amazingly, she is still motivated to push herself and enrolling herself in extracurricular activities. She’s only 14 years old.
She asked for some help with information about exchange programs to Australia and I talked a little with Kru Champ about that as it is something he is working on in the future.
It’s frustrating to see smart, motivated kids trapped in situations like this. I hope she doesn’t give up and lose herself as so many teenagers can do.
I took this picture because Cap is not quite feeling well at the moment, unfortunately.
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