Very good. I pushed through exercise and felt good for it. At school, I comforted ****** as best I could and asked Jan to keep me updated. I feel a little hopeless about helping her and I can imagine she feels even more so.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nut’s Auntie and uncle who came and cleaned up lots of little details around our garden, in particular, pulling the weeds out from the driveway where our purple grass grows.
The best thing about today was:
Hearing from my grade 10 students that the reason that they wanted me to teach them next year is that they feel relaxed in my class and find it fun and more enjoyable than with Thai teachers. I have to wonder what some of their other classes are actually like.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
On arriving home Amy was cleaning Bruno’s high-pressure hose (and seemed to be in a bad mood) and told me he wanted it back.
I was doubtful about this as he had said to keep it as long as I needed and I still have a few places I’d like to clean up.
I was also informed that I would have to drive Nut’s Auntie and uncle back to Bruno’s after they had finished which would be soon.
I didn’t say anything, I hadn’t even got the shopping inside yet. I just accepted my fate and took a quick shower by which time they were ready to go.
Of course, once we got there, Bruno was surprised to get his machine back already as he knew I hadn’t finished with it, and said to take it back. I hushed him and told him not to worry about it, as it already revealed Amy’s little white lie and I made no complaint. Amy seemed to be in a better mood by then, so all was good as we drove back home again.
Something I learned today?
It has only ever snowed two times in the Sahara. How’s that for some relatively useless information.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Once again offering support to my students struggling with mental health issues.
I took this picture on Sunday morning because this was the same mountain that we were at the top of the afternoon before, rising out of the cool morning mist.
Struggled through exercise this morning as I’m still tired despite a long sleep and my first class was a little difficult to settle down but we all got there in the end.
Today I’m grateful for:
There not being the bad traffic I was expecting when driving home. There are some events going on around the city and surrounds during this month as well as royal visits that close off roads from time to time. But not today! Hooray!
The best thing about today was:
Doing some investigation, planning and discussion with Nampan from SpeechOdd for an upcoming vinyl release. I’m hoping that this will help me get more involved with the scene here in Thailand.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Both my first and last classes were difficult and annoying today but I persevered, having to keep the second class late due to constant interruptions. It doesn’t help that my lessons are designed for two full hours and now we only have 100 minutes.
Something I learned today?
Just as I’m writing here this evening I got a message from Jan wanting me to talk with ****** because tonight she wants to kill herself! Sigh… it’s easy to see how despondent kids can get in the home environments here sometimes.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Talking with Jan and ******, getting information from one and consoling the other.
Offering a helping hand to Freya who is also suffering from depression as well as some physical ailments.
Sharing in the happiness of Mee, who also tried to kill herself last year, but today ran up to me to give me a big hug and smiles, pronouncing that her mum is home from abroad after a long period of absence. Hopefully, this will be enough to turn her life around.
Offering to help out to teach some extra classes since two of our teachers have left recently.
How does my body feel today?
It’s pretty good today actually. I did arm exercises this morning but didn’t feel any after-effects from that during the day, even feeling compelled to do 10 push-ups in the evening. Yes, it’s not much but this weakling old man has to start somewhere and started I have.
After my exercise in the morning, I noticed a sharp pain in my foot like I was standing on a sharp stone. I then just thought that perhaps an ant had bitten me. It wasn’t until I got home after school I found that it was a thin deep cut. I didn’t feel anything whilst wearing shoes at school but in bare feet again it’s painful as hell as every time I put weight on it the cut opens up.
Apart from still aching shoulders after the weekend ride everything else is feeling just about at the normal level of ache for a 56-year-old boy.
I took this panorama picture on Saturday because the whole view was just magnificent. A picture doesn’t do it justice really. No pictures today.
Pretty exhausted but happy to relax at home and doing bits and pieces in my room.
(Later) I’m tired but not sleepy, already in bed at 7pm and will do some Thai study, book and comic reading.
Today I’m grateful for:
Old cardboard boxes and, in turn, for online shopping that means we also have them laying around to use to pack on the rare occasions I get online orders through Bandcamp.
I’m also grateful to the guy at the car wash who helped me with the air pump to put air in my pushbike tyres. I was confused because it didn’t seem to work as normal.
The best thing about today was:
Playing guitar after a few days break. I sometimes wish I had learned when I was younger as now my old fingers easily forget and get lost on the strings and for not playing for a couple of days it felt a little like starting again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Nothing significant springs to mind.
Something I learned today?
Utopia will close for three days next week as they and the Daytripper staff all head up to Phu Chi Fa for a couple of nights camping. What about my coffee!? Actually, it looks like it will be Monday to Wednesday so I should be safe!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I chatted with Noey at Utopia for a while, encouraging her to talk with the farangs that come into the shop because she has never seen snow. Maybe if she can catch a farang he can take her off somewhere to see it!
I rescued P’ti when he escaped from Utopia and held him while he ate some grass and sniffed the air for a while. He seemed satisfied with that for a while before disappearing into the back rooms of the shop.
What’s the weirdest object in your studio/home/office?
Weird?
Office: A CD that comes in a stone package?
Home: Two King-size beds in the bedroom?
I don’t know… my weird seems pretty normal to me. I don’t know or much care what other people think.
I took this picture on Saturday at Wat Chaloem in Lampang. A beautiful day for a bit of a hike up this mountain.
What is to be done once at the mountaintop? Once having surveyed the delights to be seen Can you shout into the valleys till the echoes stop? Telling all who care to wonder where you’ve been
Counting the cost when the afternoon storm arrives There’s no magic lantern to wish you safe and sound Darwin showed us that the smartest one survives Keeping their heads down back home on the ground
Exhausted! But happily so. I had a disrupted sleep with having to deal with the results of the spicy seafood sauce from last night as it got stuck straight into my bowels!
But I got up easily and quickly at 6.30 and we set off biking again soon after. We took a very dodgy detour that took us so far into the unknown, wondering if we’d ever make it back.
In a tiny village tucked in between cornrow hills, an old Auntie and uncle, who seemed a little unaccustomed to Thai, and even more so to two dirty farangs emerging through their dog-infested dirt tracks, helped stave off some thirst and hunger with a grocery of delights hidden in a shack underneath reams of old corrugated iron but do be sure to take off your shoes! Nervous dogs sniffed nervously, on the constant scavenge.
It felt like we were making good time but a breakdown in here would’ve consumed the rest of the day and it wasn’t even 8am yet.
Already shaken from intermittent dodgy rocky roads, it dawned that there was another hour and a half of this ahead!
In most part beautiful but also at times frustratingly shaky, I prayed little Fino could hold itself together.
Today I’m grateful for:
Little Fino performing, as one would reasonably expect any modern piece of expensive motoring machinery, magnificently despite the abuse I brought forth on it over the last two days. I would not be surprised if he sounds a bit cranky in the morning.
The best thing about today was:
Getting to Chiang Rai and familiar surroundings was a welcome feeling. At least if something went wrong here I had some idea of where to head for help.
After our morning wilderness adventure, I told Bruno there was no need to wait for me and we made our way separately North from Lampang.
I took some minor detours and when back into recognisable territory I decided to follow the Mae Lao klong (which was sublime) up past Singha Park and then back off the highway after following cute girls on what must have been their boyfriend’s souped-up motorbikes, that popped so loudly as they flew past fuel tankers whilst desperately clasping their phones in one hand.
Past the prison and up into Mae Yao through the back of Bandu and the university and delivered, finally, to my first coffee of the day back at home in Utopia! That coffee was the best ever!
It was already 2 pm and my ears were still full of wind, my hands shaking from hours of gripping the handlebars, and my eyes and clothes full of smoke and dust. It felt so good to be back home!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Lots of things were out of my control today and I happily went along with everything. I’m pretty easy to please.
Something I learned today?
The ACTUAL axis of evil seems to be the USA, Zionists and…… well, an axis only needs two, doesn’t it?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Spending a few baht in a village shop to give the locals some income, though I think Bruno actually paid!
In another village where Bruno stopped to stuff himself with som tum, the family there were so tickled to be serving a couple of ‘crackers’ and we happily obliged them with photos, which I hope they print out and put up one day to fade in the dust and sun of posterity.
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
The way I was raised was fine, even great. The circumstances could have been different though. However, because my father died before I even knew him I never knew what it was like to have and lose him. I wonder how much impact that has had on my personality and life in general?
My mum was very liberal with me and I got to make plenty of my own mistakes. I grew up slowly. Like most teenagers, I thought I knew everything and I could fake being mature. My mum generally left me to it.
I took this picture because this is what we spent three hours traversing the back end of beyond to come and see. An emerald lagoon in a sinkhole in the jungle mountains near Lampang. The fish in there are huge and we wondered how they got there. Signs for no swimming, fishing or feeding the fish. There’s nothing else here except for a couple of big trees and once you’ve looked up and then back down again, you’ve seen a big tree. For some reason, the car park seemed to be able to accommodate a fleet of tour buses yet it’s at the end of a dirt track that a tour bus wouldn’t be able to navigate. The shop was on the far side of the car park so when we arrived a lady jumped on her motorbike and came to a makeshift stall next to the lagoon entrance, we happily wandered by on both entry, and fifteen minutes later on exit, and she happily rode her bike back across the car park to the shop. It was only 10 am. Maybe busloads of Koreans swamp the place come the afternoons?
Great and ready to go. Up at 6am to head out with Bruno on a long ass bike ride that I’m following him along on. Right now, after 8 hours on and off we’re in the middle of some mountains waiting to go up to see a temple perched right at the top of a craggy cliff.
Today I’m grateful for:
The guy who came to help us use the petrol pump outside a village in the mountains. We didn’t need his help and he was just curious about is but we appreciated him anyways.
The best thing about today was:
Stopping in a pretty well-kept mountain village somewhere between Chiang Mai and Lampang and enjoying a coffee in an old wooden cafe overlooking a small community square where kids were playing.
(Later) We opted for going up to Wat Chaloem before it was too late and I’m glad we did. It was an expensive entry for foreigners but compared with anywhere else in the world I found it good value. After a van ride and an exhausting walk up steep steps the views from the top were incredible. When I saw the mountain in the distance as we were riding towards it through the valley, I couldn’t believe that there was a temple up there and then I was up there looking back down.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Bruno was a little frustrated with me and how slow I was riding but I just wanted to enjoy the journey for as long as possible. His personality has him racing everywhere. Well, he is the way he is and I am the way I am.
To be honest I haven’t felt quite so comfortable riding my bike since coming off it last year. That was only a minor incident but it was a good reminder of how easy and quickly an accident can happen. I’m way more cautious going around corners now especially when there is gravel on the road.
Something I learned today?
I learned a lot about the roads through the mountains around Chiang Mai and Lampang and the villages nestled within. I learned a little more about myself and about Bruno.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
At one of the lookout points we chatted with a Russian couple that live in Chiang Mai.
We deliberately stopped at a nice village cafe and I bought some expensive coffee honey from them to give them a boost.
I petted several dogs including a beauty at the temple that had a reddened eye and only three legs. It was very affectionate.
When was the last time I felt overwhelmed?
From memory that was when I was working at Woolworths and having to deal with my asshole boss. I’m sure he may have been a good boss for the company but that’s the kind of person I despise. Someone who puts the corporation ahead of people is not to be trusted!
Anyway, that situation badly affected me as it was tied in with physical pain from overwork along with depression and (apparently) PTSD. I was supremely grateful to get out of that situation as I felt myself going out of control.
I took lots of beautiful photos today but chose this picture because this is what I was faced with when I went to brush my teeth. This is Thailand, this is jungle country.
How to dodge all the cynics in the hall? Hope has the knives out against the thinkers Psyches ripped asunder of those held in thrall Long gone, the days the tailors danced with tinkers
Physically good but took me a while to feel better after yesterday’s tantrum. Listening to my student’s reading helped though. I started smiling when they tried and tried until they got the words right. Getting some writing done during the long break between classes also helped as it focused my mind on other things.
Today I’m grateful for:
Receiving an order for the Jornada Del Muerto LP from someone in the UK. Now I have to get my act together to pack it to ship there!
The best thing about today was:
Walking around school after classes and hanging out with students watching or playing their sports. It was a good atmosphere that I was happy to stay around for rather than dashing home.
Something I learned today?
China has introduced measures that allow Taiwanese people better access and integration into Fujian as a countermeasure to the US-led independence movement. The US doesn’t give a shit about Taiwanese people.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Despite being difficult in my class and me deducting points for disrespect, it was Baibua’s birthday today and I gave her twenty baht for which she was very surprised and grateful.
I congratulated Nicha for getting up the courage to talk to the boy she liked though she was disappointed that he didn’t show any interest in her.
What is something I hope to understand better?
Myself (is my obtuse answer).
Right now, it is the Thai language. I feel my learning has stunted a little recently or at least slowed. I do notice increased recognition and being able to read two words of subtitles now rather than one. I guess I’m fine with it. My brain feels like it is at capacity most of the time. Squeezing new things in scares me that it is squeezing old things out.
And, having said that, there are a million things I might hope to understand better
I took this picture on the walk up to LiKhai the other day because this beast was blocking the way with its half smile. Even if it was friendly I wasn’t keen to get near those horns or its back legs. We got by without incident thankfully.
Home Workouts Workout — Morning functional strength training
Today I’m feeling:
Awesome. I felt especially good after my short chest and arm exercise this morning.
Today I’m grateful for:
Our car. I say this because I often see old cars around that I would like to own but remember all the trouble I always had with old cars, except for The Rocket, and how unreliable they could be. So that got me thinking about how grateful I am for our little boring Nissan that keeps going despite the daily thrashings I give it.
The best thing about today was:
Getting things done in the garden and cleaning the moss from around the teaching room using the high-pressure hose. I’m really tired already but it provided a great sense of achievement also topped off with mala soup and grill.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I lost my cool as Amy badgered me for help and then started (what felt to me like) talking down to me like I was a kid. We were outside and I kicked a nearby bucket away in frustration, which then, of course, got her upset too.
I almost immediately just found the situation funny but Amy was very upset and gave me the silent treatment whilst I tried to make it up to her.
Something I learned today?
I watched some videos of the recently released City Skylines 2 video game. It looks very good but I could immediately see how much time would need to be sunk into it and it’s time I would rather spend with other things these days.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
My vile deed was losing my cool with Amy and I’m disappointed with myself because it was nothing really. I’m still trying to make it up to her but she hasn’t quite forgiven me yet.
This morning I just had the one grade 7 class and encouraged my students with their reading which is slowly improving. They should be proud of themselves.
Amy took this picture because Tangmo quietly came over as we prepared to eat an early dinner. He sat and waited patiently and occasionally begged for bits of food. After we had finished we walked him to the gate where he now understands it is time to say goodbye and he walked off home.
Two easy and fun classes where the grade 10s were teaching me how to improve my pronunciation. I let them make fun of my pronunciation so that they don’t feel too bad when I correct their English. I did some reading with them and was quite happy to see them trying and not just looking to me to tell them. I really wish that I had more time to be able to do that with them individually or in pairs.
The best thing about today was:
It was another all-around good day without one thing being better than another.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Likewise to above, anything that was out of my control didn’t get in my way today.
Something I learned today?
I should probably stop reading about the genocide of the Palestinians. It’s frustrating and inhumane. Of course, there is nothing I can do about it but at least know that if there is evil in the world it is openly on display by the Zionists. Religion, whilst preaching goodness and acceptance continues to do exactly the opposite.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Giving lots of encouragement to my grade 10 students and support to my grade 7s. Even though the 7s are still a little distracted they can get back to it if I keep shepherding them. I can see some friend group dynamics shifting a little in that class too. It will be interesting to follow.
Who do I trust the most, and why?
Obviously, this is Amy. Now we have shared 15 years of our lives together and have a deep sense of trust in each other. Our actions have proven that. Whether we are in the same country or not, we trust each other.
I am generally quite trusting of others, though also have a reasonably good radar about people. I like to think that most people are good and decent and I am also prepared to be let down.
Baipad took this picture because I asked her to take a selfie of the fursuit head that she is making. She reckons she can sell these for 150 USD! That’s wild. She’s a little critical of her work because she lacks confidence. She’s only 14 and her skills will only get better and better.
Sat here staring at the walls Tracing back this year of ruin The picture hung now calls To settle any trouble brewing Transcendence roams these halls Embracing the silence here It’s the holy land that recalls The artist’s vision clear
Walking through the lives And visions of those long gone A tiny thought survives Where this moment must belong When this awe arrives Angels will serenade the air Unfolding before the eyes Of those chosen to be there
Great. Got up as usual and did some arm exercises, went for coffees and then headed off to meet Bruno and walk up the LiKhai Valley. After a good walk up there and a super refreshing swim in the waterfall, I felt even better. A delicious affogato at Utopia after some veggie noodles and I relaxed into a fabulous afternoon nap before preparing for guests in the evening as Amy prepared Korean food for her mum, Dad, Auntie, Nong Aun and her friend and I talked a little with everyone. A wonderful day.
Today I’m grateful for:
The lady who made vegetarian noodle soup for my lunch. To be honest it was pretty bland and tasteless but somehow it felt filling and refreshing. The lady was in the shop by herself and there weren’t many customers (probably due to the holiday) but I’m glad she was there.
The best thing about today was:
Definitely jumping in the water in the stream running down the valley. The bottom of the stream wasn’t visible and I slipped down into the water, completely submerged before breast stroking across to where the water was pouring over the rocks from above. The weather today was perfect and the water was a good (cold) temperature to refresh and revive.
Something I learned today?
After NASA banned any cooperation with China in connection with space, they are now asking for samples of moon rock that China recently brought back from there.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
As we were coming out of the valley a foreign couple that we’d seen ride by earlier stopped and asked about going to Mae Salong, so I gave them the rough directions and some advice on how long it would take and where else to go.
I loaned Amy’s dad some Kabuki comic books that I have though I doubt if he can understand them fully. He borrowed some books from me a couple of years ago and still hasn’t given them back. I reminded him again as he was taking these!
If I could relive any day from my past, which day would I choose?
This ties in with the question on Sunday about my favourite parts of the city and the walk I like in Sydney. I would relive the day that TLJ and I went exploring down there when we snuck out of the office for a long lunch. I was desperately excited with new love at that time.
I took this picture because this was the swimming hole I enjoyed getting wet in today.
I’m seventeen today I’ve learned very little so far Don’t expect so much This is the way we are
I’m only seventeen This is no time for babies The future so uncertain My life so full of maybes
Yes, I’m seventeen Full of doubts and bluster I can do anything With the energy I can muster
I’m already seventeen Stop telling me what to do I can do what I want I don’t need to listen to you
I’m dead at seventeen My life already done Everything a disaster Will eighteen never come?
I’m still seventeen Inside an adult insecure Learning all about life Always growing more
Today I’m feeling:
Back to normal though I still have some phlegm on my chest but it doesn’t bother me now. I’m feeling good and positive mentally too.
Today I’m grateful for:
The bread shop at Big C that has a black sesame mochi-bread type thing that is a yummy snack and then a little chocolate pastry that I follow up with. It’s a small treat for myself sometimes.
The best thing about today was:
Having a reasonably simple but long (for me) conversation in Thai with Goya about the colours of the day in Thailand and the colours of the shirts we were wearing and our shirts for sports day. It was only as I walked away I realised that we’d been speaking in Thai the whole time and I felt a little bit proud of myself. I’m grateful to Goya for that today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had a simple class in the morning and the kids were trying to catch up on work for their science class, which frustrated me at first.
I took all their work away telling them that there was plenty of time and that if they finished my class they would be free to do the work they wanted. They reluctantly agreed and most of the class completed the work with plenty of time to spare…. except three students who wanted to go to the bathroom and disappeared for about 20 minutes.
It is still a case of herding cats with some of these kids though they are slowly improving.
Something I learned today?
Brodie Grundy has joined the Swans from Collingwood. Amy used to mention how handsome he was whenever she saw him playing but she’s not so keen now he’s looking a bit older.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Once again I offered Earn some advice because she is shy to talk to the boy she likes. I told her that if she doesn’t talk to him she will never know how he feels. And if she does talk to him then she will know and whatever way he feels about is a positive outcome for her.
Really, she is not shy at all, she is just scared of rejection. She agreed. She then wanted to focus on how pretty she was. I told her that that is only one element of who she is and not to get so hung up on it. She appreciated my advice but I’m not sure that she is strong enough to act on it (yet).
Little Nicha is also crushing on a boy in her class but insists that he doesn’t like her. She is also too shy to find out. I talked to him a little today, asking if he liked any girls in the class but he is either too shy to talk about it or hasn’t even thought about it yet. The girls seem ready for ‘romance’ whilst the boys are stuck on football and video games.
I don’t know if I have the best advice for these kids but what I do want to get across to the girls is to be strong and independent.
I joined Baipad, Jan and Apple in the canteen at lunchtime and they also introduced me to their friend Chompoo. I tried to get them all talking about things in English as much as I could instead of looking at their phones.
Quote: “You’re only poor if you give up. The most important thing is that you did something. Most people only talk and dream of getting rich. You’ve done something.” – Robert T. Kiyosaki
I don’t consider myself rich though where I live others might consider me so. I still gauge things in Aussie dollars and in comparison, I’m not rich at all. Comfortable, I suppose.
I never really expected to be rich and when I dreamt about it I was fully aware it was a dream. I never thought to try and marry rich or even chase money particularly. I was lucky to have a very well-paying job for a few years and whilst saving some I also invested it into philanthropic art with my music label.
So all this time I was busy doing things, doing something. In fact, I even made a T-shirt that just had two words on the front ‘do something’. I had been practising this even before leaving England with my free pamphlet ‘Fuck Around’.
Whether you like something or not, you have no right to reply if you are doing nothing yourself.
One of the purposes of this trail of words on this blog is to look back at all the something I did.
I got this picture from August because my students were supposed to be working but hid themselves behind some stage props in the classroom and started their own little photo shoot. As the quality of the picture shows I caught them before they got very far. I told them that if they didn’t finish my work today I would send the pictures to their homeroom teacher and, sufficiently threatened, they mostly got on with it. It was an empty threat anyway, I just wanted to see my naughty students having fun. Pictured are Fah and Nicha (holding the guitar).
1994ever 