“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Playing with your brain
Knife in the head
Twist the blade, turn the handle
You’re certified braindead
Playing with your brain
Razor blade instead
Slice and splice, soft cool edge
You’re certified braindead
Lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy
13th June 2023 – I couldn’t fathom the use of lobotomy to help people with mental health issues. Thankfully it doesn’t appear to be in use anymore.
Record of the week: Organised Chaos (live), Cult Maniax – No More Beach Boys
9th July 1984
Got up. Went to school. Took the books back. Saw a few teachers there. Went down to Wimborne. Went to careers shit crap. Saw Jim. He’s coming over on Wednesday. Burd came over. We eventually found someone with some booze. Me and Muz got absolutely smashed.
10th July 1984
Went to Sharon’s. Not doing painting which pissed me off. Put dirt in a wheelbarrow and took it down garden. Rubbing down a couple of posts. Came back. Got ticket for Friday if it’s on. Met Jez, went to Ben’s. Did some taping. I came back. Watching a shit film.
11th July 1984
Got up. Jim came round. Listened to records for a while. Took dog. Went down shop. Then back. Jim rode my bike around. Went to Murray’s. I went and got a video. Watched it at Muz’s. American Werewolf in London. Jim went on. I had tea. Went to see Bernice. Came back. Don’t know what else I done. Suppose I went to sleep.
12th July 1984
Went to Sharon’s. Did this and that. Got wet. Sharon had a moan. I felt like telling her to piss off. Did more odd jobs in the afternoon. Came back. Started typing up PCH booklet. Did that all fuckin’ night. Can’t remember anything else. Whether anything happened or not I don’t know.
13th July 1984
Got up. Went to town. Got photocopying done of lyrics and some photos. Went down Poole. Left bike at Justin’s. Got coach. Got to Warminster. Got drunk on the way. Gig was an hour late. Self Abuse – good. Organised Chaos – excellent. Cult Maniax – good. Didn’t see much of the Subhumans cos had to catch coach. Walked up to Justin’s, rode home. Got back about 3.
14th July 1984
Malcolm Owen d. 1980. Got up. Felt fuckin’ knackered. Lounged around all day. Decided to go at 6. Went to Bernice’s. Went down pub cos there was some do on. John Lines bought me a drink. We then got 4 cans. Lines only wanted one. I went to Holloways. Got some photos. Had a drink. Came back. Was dark. That’s life.
15th July 1984
Got up. Lounged around again. Jez came over. I told him about my idea for a fanzine – he says he’ll help. He’s coming over tomorrow. He went on. Talked to Muz for a while. Came back. Doing PCH booklet. Went to sleep. Good weekend really.
Jolly Roger
Pork pie bodger
The whole caboodle
And fried poodle
Sweet sweet daisy
Crazy crazy crazy
Life on the rig
And an Irish jig
CB Freak at the end of the day
CB Freak, CB Freak, what’s that you say?
13th June 2023 – Jasper was really into CB when I first met him and it was a bit of a news item at the time though I never really found it that interesting. Talking to strangers you couldn’t see seemed a bit weird. Now look at what we have! We barely talk to friends and mostly talk at strangers!
Record of the week: Christian Death – Deathwish LP, Catastrophe Ballet LP, UK Decay – Werewolf 12″
2nd July 1984
Got up at 9.15. Went to Sharon’s. Did some brass polishing in the morning. It was hard. Did some wallpapering. Had some lunch. Then did some more papering. came back at 4. Got £4. Took Maico down track – couldn’t get it going. Left it at Murray’s. Got my moped and went down again. Pissed around. Took Jasper’s jump out because it’s not (?). Came back. Watched Hill Street Blues.
3rd July 1984
Got up at 6.30. Went to Sharon’s and cleaned out her yard. Weeded their terrace. Had lunch. Finished all the wallpapering with a little difficulty. Got £9. Came back. Went down track. Jasper put his jump back in. Only Scott likes him now. Came back to Gaunts. When Jasp came back we went and took the jump out again. Talked to Muz til 11. Came back. Got to sleep at 12.
4th July 1984
Didn’t go to Sharon’s today. Can’t remember what the fuck I did. This is next Tuesday night (10th) at the moment. I think I went to the track. Scott and Paul and Mayo were there. I went on. This might have happened tomorrow, I can’t remember. We all went to the common and had a game of block because no one wants to go to the track. Apparently Paul Miller’s after me cos of what we did down at the track.
5th July 1984
Didn’t go to Sharon’s again. What I discussed yesterday happened today I think. So what the fuck am I going to write? I haven’t got a clue. I don’t know. Ahh. Me, Muz, Crabb took Maico back yesterday at 11. Just for something to do. Apart from that, I don’t fuckin’ know.
6th July 1984
Went to Sharon’s today. Got absolutely covered in the paint. Did that all day. Got £8. Came back. Don’t know what I did. We all went to Houldey’s and took the piss out of them. Don’t know what else we did. I think I watched telly all night and got bored – who cares and who gives a fuck?
7th July 1984
Went to Bernice’s. Found out she got assaulted last night. Me and Lee waited for her to come out of the police station. We’re both pissed off cos of what happened. Bernice decided not to go to Bournemouth but I did. I got 2 Christian Death LPs, UK Decay 12″, Faction and Lack of Knowledge. Came back. Went to Saunders’. He didn’t get a video so I came back and played records.
8th July 1984
Got up and pissed around. Can’t remember what I did. At night me and Muz went to Houldey’s cos we were bored. Beki was in a right shit. Me and Muz went back to his place and tried to get his computer going but couldn’t so I came back.
The romance is the wreckage of your desire
The wreckage of your romance is your desire
I’m going higher, I’m going higher
And the romance
It’s the question of leadership again
All change after election
It’s another comic show the media exposes
Rammed down our throats and up our noses
The comic show – in The Star, The Mail, The Guardian
The comic show – in The Express, The Times and The Sun
Some people worship God
Some people worship more than two
Some people adhere to the bible
Some people just don’t care who
I worship – the Lord God Tomato
Eating tomatoes is a cannibalistic venture
This is how we are put to torture
Made to eat our own kind
Though some people don’t mind
The bible bashers have got it all wrong
They’ve been in the dark much too long
The Lord God Tomato is right
We don’t really have to fight
Records of the week: Conflict – 1st side of Increase The Pressure, Minor Threat – Eps 12″, Major Accident – Massacred Melodies LP, Black Flag – Three Nights
25th June 1984
Got up and stayed in my room most of the day. Zoe rang in the morning. Got petrol in the afternoon. Watched telly most of the time. Rung Jez. Had a game of snooker which I won. Came back – watched Scully then went down track. Muz is giving me bullshit. I went to James. Had a chat with him and Greg. Watched Hill Street Blues.
26th June 1984
Got up late. Watched telly most likely. I haven’t been keeping up with the diary so I can’t remember everything. I think I went down to the track. Mum’s been going on about me getting a job. Getting really pissed off with her. Watched telly in the evening. Mum has found me some jobs to do tomorrow around the house. I’m pissed off. Watching the stars.
27th June 1984
Got up late again. Cleaned out the yard. Did the bricks. Fuckin’ pissed off. I keep playing Three Nights by Black Flag. Sieved elderflower. Had tea. Went down track. Pissed around. Built freestyle jump which is pretty good. Came back. Went to sleep. Working at Sharon’s tomorrow.
28th June 1984
Mum woke me up at 9. Rung Sharon. Went over. Cleaned windows. Went to Poole with Sharon. Then to Bournemouth and back to Poole again. Then back. Cleaned garage doors and racked up grass. (?) so came back. Had tea. Went down track. Went to James. He gave me money to get a video tomorrow. Went to (???). Came back with her.
29th June 1984
Went to Wimborne. Got videos. Went to Sharon’s. Did wallpapering all day. Got £4.50. Came back. Went down track.. Burd came down. He went to Wimborne. Went to James. Got wrong type of video so went back and changed it. Came back. Poltergeist – was ok in places. Pretty daft story though. Came back at 1 and went to sleep.
30th June 1984
Got up at 9. Went to Bernice’s. Got bus down to Bournemouth. Bern bought some shoes and dress. I got some records. Both Christian Death LPs are there. Saw plenty of people. Ran out of money so came back. I came home. Went down track. No one there. Went to James’s and had a chat with everyone. Came back. Watched telly for the rest of the night.
1st July 1984
Woke up at 9. Couldn’t sleep because of stomach upset. Took aspirin and went back to sleep. Didn’t get up til 1.30. Took dog. Went down track. Digging it all up. Everyone’s getting on each other’s nerves. Came back. Went back down again. I got my light smashed. Me and Murray are thinking of setting up a delivery service. Went to sleep.
Take me for a ride
Then run off and hide
Proving that you’re blind
Suffering from no mind
You can’t see any further than your nose
What will happen to you
In the outside world of ours?
Will you find a girl?
Live your darkest hours?
Settle down, settle down, settle down
What will Murray do?
How many people are like Murray?
Take a look at yourself
What will you do?
12th June 2023 – Already writing to myself in disguise.
1994ever 