I’m so happy and grateful I was aware enough to spot this snake before getting bitten. I didn’t feel scared and managed to get it away from our house. It wasn’t till later that I realised how dangerous it could be. It was very beautiful though.
Never wrestle with a pig. You just get dirty and the pig enjoys it.
American saying
To-do list
Continue with Coursera (seems useful) ½
Sort out Busy Teacher files ✅
Read more on classroom management ½
Exercise after work
Keep practising with RekordBox
Circumstances meant I didn’t achieve so many goals today as I had forgotten I had to go to the dentist after work.
Today, Jimmy sent me a message again that he saw me touch one of the female students on the cheek and that I could get the school into big trouble. I was a little taken aback as I have no recollection of the event and this is because it means nothing to me, not something that I would even think about. I racked my brain for ages and the only thing I can think of is that it may have been KhawTang who ran up to me to say hello at the assembly.
It seems a big overreaction to such innocent gestures. It bothered me though because I feel a little like I’m being singled out. I talked with Kru Noon about it and she ended up venting her own frustrations about the school too. This cheered me up in a weird way!
Anyway, it seems impossible to me to never touch the students as they always jump all over me wanting to play. We both lack each other’s language skills and body language is another easy form of communication between teacher and student. This innocent action feels turned into something sordid and crude but that is in the minds of the adults. My prime concern though is that Jimmy will use this to cause me trouble in the future.
Tomorrow we have a day off school and I will take the opportunity to get the things together for my work permit. Whilst we have to go into the city for this Amy and I will also take the opportunity to grab lunch there. I’m looking forward to a little sleep-in.
I am most proud of all the things I have done with tenzenmen – organising tours and shows are always a lot of fun. Challenging but fun. I am also proud of the time I had to deal with losing my job of eighteen years which set me on this new journey. I am also proud of the work I have been doing as a teacher – making a positive difference in the lives of some children. I am not yet fully proud of my son, though I feel it is coming. He shows flashes of inspiration that will one day all come together to make me proud.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I am able to use my native language skills and help other people to better understand. I sometimes still can’t believe that I am a teacher. I don’t feel any smarter than anyone else, even the kids I teach.
27th Dec 2022 – I started doing Laurie Santos’ online Happiness course (at Coursera I think it was) and these were my starting results. I’m not sure I went back to check after I finished the course. Either way, it was an interesting learning experience.
Accept that change is necessary, learn to accept whatever befalls you and remain cheerful in the face of great adversity. – a simple piety
piety – strong belief in a religion that is shown in the way someone lives. virtue – a good moral quality in a person, or the general quality of being morally good.
Every day I feel that I am developing inwardly. Why, then, should I be in despair?
Anne Frank
To-do list
Clean up the balloons ✅
Move the bricks and concrete base ✅
Continue Coursera study ✅
Next read-to-lead challenge ✅
Dream book questions ✅
Another satisfying day today and I feel like I have a lot of energy.
This morning I was taken aback a little when a girl student said I wasn’t good. She didn’t explain but I felt odd and wondered if someone else had been saying things about me. I tried to evaluate how rational my thinking was and decided to put it out of my mind. People may think but it’s not true.
Then, a little later, by coincidence, I came across a quote ‘You will become less concerned with what other people think of you when you realise how seldom they do.’ Tomorrow I will try to maintain this positive attitude by continued study and practising my character strengths.
I don’t really consider anything I must do. There are things I would like to do but not must.
The major events previously in my life I didn’t really consider as things I must do but I was motivated enough to make them happen ie separation, travelling to China, moving to Australia, and Thailand.
Anything I must do seems to relate to things I have chosen to do for other people so I must do them as promised. The motivation is external, from a drive that was internal.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful when the weather is cool. Sometimes it feels too cold but then I remember how unbearable the rest of the year can be. Today I have cold ears and I like it.
The nature of the universe consists in perpetual change and so this process is natural and good.
Donald Robertson on Meditations
To-do list
More work on exam questions ✅
Go and run after work ✅
Experiment with turntables for TCRAH ✅
Give books to 3 students tomorrow ½
Remember – think and listen and think! Then talk! ✅
Quite tired today as I stayed up quite late reading, wanting to finish a book. I am in very good spirits though and enjoyed all the classes I took.
Started the well-being Coursera online class today too. I’m doing a lot of study around this subject at the moment but I think it’s serving me very well. My 4 character strengths are Curiosity, Gratitude, Honesty and Fairness and I should try to practice as many of these as I can in the next week.
Amy and I went to the gym and I worked on light weights as an overall warm-up for doing more in the future. I’m sure I’ll sleep well enough tonight.
Tomorrow should be a fairly easy day and should be enjoyable too. Tomorrow I’d like to get some more things done at home. I’m slowly sorting through my room and there’s no real hurry but it would be nice to be done.
Last Sunday Amy and I, along with Mum and Dad, had to attend a funeral in Chiang Mai. It’s a three plus hour drive and meant a 5am start for us. I know we’re getting older and getting up earlier is kinda normal but damn, 5am!
I was hoping to be able to spend some time listening to podcasts but when we arrived at Mum and Dad’s and found Dad asleep in the passenger seat it was obvious that I would be driving. It was still dark as we left the city and approached the mountains. The air turned grey and dusty as the sun rose slowly somewhere in the sky and it was entrancing to watch the changes to the colours of the mountains that I was driving towards and soon driving through.
Dad’s big truck made easy time as we settled into the long valley and then through the twisting second set of mountains where a never-ending road work slows things down somewhat. I had to ease off once into the Chiang Mai valley though as, eager after the road works, I was starting to hit 140 km/h without even realising it.
This funeral was for cousin Ting’s mum. Ting had taken the time to travel an hour or so to my own mother’s funeral in the UK so it was only appropriate that we attend her mum’s and it was good to catch up with her despite the circumstances.
Monks did their thing and relatives did their thing and I followed where and when I was told. I noted the ‘No women allowed’ sign outside one of the buildings and wondered when Thailand will discover its enlightenment. Is it my place to judge and do I need to care about how people following certain religions behave? Well, if it feels like injustice it feels ok to care. Just know that progress of this sort often takes more than a single lifetime but we can hope that the progress is made before the world burns.
Having left Chiang Rai before the sun came up, we returned after the sun had set again. Chiang Rai missed us for the day and still the Earth turned without care.
And so it was we arrive at Friday and this time I’m on a solo adventure in my own car, again to Chiang Mai. This time it was for my UK passport renewal and I had allowed myself an overnight stay so as to split up the driving.
I had challenged myself since the Sunday journey to drive more conservatively and having that extra time I planned to enjoy the drive and take a few extra seconds to check out the views. It also meant I could listen to music uninterrupted for 3 or 4 hours.
For some reason I enjoy driving; I’m not sure why. This trip towards Chiang Mai was especially entrancing and I arrived in a very good mood. In fact I was a little annoyed that the first half of the travelling was complete!
The first port of call was back to International House, where I had studied for my CELTA certificate, almost two years previously. I bumped into my favourite tutor there and was pleased to have a quick chat and also to see a few other staff members that I still recognised, though had forgotten their names.
The environment here on the mini campus still amazes me, it’s so beautiful and not what you would expect. Like a holiday resort but with not much to do except study. I somewhat envied the students who would be arriving after the weekend but then I remembered the feeling in the first week when I was questioning myself whether I could do it or not.
I had hoped that they still had copies of my work for the course in the office there but unfortunately, they only hold on to them for six months. Never mind. It was nice to drive through those familiar small lanes where nothing has changed too much. The city is sprawling out that direction but has only had minimal impact so far.
Back into the middle of the city and everything went well with my passport application, though I had some difficulty making my signature similar to what it was 10 years previous. The staff laughed with me and I’m guessing it’s not that an unusual problem as they had paper prepared for applicants to practice.
Quickly out of there and across town to a book shop that had been recommended. An hour and 1000 baht later it was time to find some food and I treated myself to a tiny pizza and salad. Woohoo! Holiday time!
Dark by now, I waited at the Mohawk Bar to catch up with Facebook friend John Murrie. The bars opening time is 8pm and it was only 7pm so I sat in the car reading some more Anna Karenina, taking the opportunity to cross off one of my daily challenges. By 8.30pm the bar was still closed and Tolstoy was taking a sleep-inducing hold of me and I had to quit and head out south to my overnight lodging with one of Amy’s old school friends.
I wuz ‘ere. No one else wuz.
Tired and sleepy I was somewhat energised by meeting the two puppies of the house, once I was accepted as a welcome enough intruder. I was warned to keep my shoes away from them so placed them in my room and shut the door. Not long after, I placed myself in the room and fell asleep but reminding myself I must make an effort to talk more with my hosts Oh and Namtan when I was in a more lucid state in the morning.
In a flash it was morning and after getting my reading challenge completed before 8am, I did 40 squats, took a shower and planned a breakfast coffee for my hosts. Unfortunately, I had left the bedroom door open and hadn’t noticed the dogs sneak in looking for some bounty.
Everyone showered and set I went to get my shoes but they had disappeared. Obviously, the dogs had got them but no problem, whatever, let’s just go on a hunt for them. One under the car, another at the back of the garden. Unfortunately, they hadn’t just been deposited but chewed on and spat out! Ah well, farewell my shoes. Luckily they were just about wearable as I had no other shoes with me. The girls were very apologetic for their pups’ behaviour but I just thought it was funny. I’d had the shoes for a few years so they’d done me pretty well. Maybe an excuse to go shop for some others soon.
An excellent coffee later it was time to get back on the road and my mind was filled with wonder as I listened to good music and again enjoyed the twisting roads round rolling mountains. I counted off the landmarks backwards, breaking the 3 hours down; mountains, valley, mountains, home. The return journey never as exciting as the outset, slight melancholy following the setting afternoon sun.
However, once home I was awed by the feeling of comfort. Looking across our garden I gave Amy a big hug and declared ‘I love it here. I love this life and I love being with you.’
The local rock group down the street Is trying hard to learn their song They serenade the weekend squire Who just came out to mow his lawn Another pleasant valley Sunday Charcoal burning everywhere Rows of houses that are all the same And no one seems to care
– The Monkees
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have the energy and motivation to get up and do things. Today I took time to water the garden and clean the car.
…my memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.
Mark Twain
To-do list
Write blog about Chiang Mai trip ✅
Record TCRAH
Water garden in the morning ✅
Prepare CD cases and case some more discs ½
Clean up balloons
Once again time ran out but I had a very busy and productive day. As well as getting up and watering the garden, front and back, I also washed the car. I ate breakfast in there somewhere too.
Before the morning was out we went for coffee and photocopied in preparation for afternoon lessons. In between lunch and teaching, I also wrote up a blog entry about my trip to Chiang Mai. It wasn’t as good as it was in my mind yesterday though.
Time running out doesn’t seem to be bothering me as much as it has in the past. I’m more accepting of the fact that I can finish something later. So long as I’m getting some things done then it’s fine.
Tomorrow is back to the routine mad Monday. One of the lessons should be pretty straightforward though and hopefully, the two difficult classes will be getting used to the method of what I’m doing with them now. I hope to get the rest of the exam questions finalised this week and probably be able to finish the regular class one tomorrow if I put my mind to it.
Music from The Reactionaries, Alternative TV, Neutral Sons, Polvo, Peter Black, Hilkka, The Fartz, Elvis Costello, Captain Sensible, Rogues, Graham Parker and the Rumour, Radio Nepal, Orthrelm, Arcwelder, Guapo, Minutemen, McClusky.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to Oh and Namtan for letting me stay at their house last night. It saved me money and trouble and they are nice people.
All reading should be applied to the idea of living the happy life…words may become deeds.
Seneca
To-do list
Remember how much you enjoyed the drive today? Do that again! ✅
Take Oh and Namtan for coffee. ✅
Work through your exhaustion and provide good tuition. ✅
Do something nice for Amy today. ½
Do not complain – counter other’s complaints. ✅
Today was a very good day and I feel wonderful and happy. It started with 40 squats, a shower and reading before taking Oh and Namtan for coffee. We have a good conversation about books, reading, exercising and eating.
The drive back was very pleasant though tempered by some melancholy as many returns home can be. It’s never as exciting as the heading out into unknown adventures, no matter how small they are.
I was so positive that I was fine for the teaching and it went like a breeze.
At dinner, Amy and I chatted for a long while and I put forward the idea of how we could spend the perfect day together.
Tomorrow I hope to spend some time in my office – I love being there but feel somewhat disconnected from the house so I don’t usually stay out there late into the night.
We have some more students tomorrow but those lessons should be fun
This is a tough question. After more than 10 years together we don’t have many surprises these days. I was thinking I would like to book us our holiday in Vietnam as a surprise but curious that she may just get upset for not consulting her. We have our ten-year anniversary coming up – perhaps I could book us a place to stay for the night. Yep – that’s what I’ll do – find a 5-star resort in the mountains and we’ll spend our anniversary there.
18th Dec 2022 – I did book this but Covid got in the way as everything shut down. I booked it again a second time in 2021 and that too didn’t work out as lockdowns happened in Thailand at different stages.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for Amy when she cooks me breakfast in the morning and doesn’t complain to clean the dishes and iron my shirts. I will try to do these things more when I can share our burden.
Commonplace book for work
Use this space to write out quotes, passages and thoughts that have some meaning for me. These could come from anywhere.
On Journaling
Prepare for the day ahead
Each morning you should prepare, plan and meditate on how you aim to act that day. You should be envisioning everything that may come and steeling yourself so you’re ready to conquer it. As Seneca wrote “The wise will start each day with the thought ‘Fortune gives us nothing which we can really own.’ Or think of Marcus’ reminder ‘When you wake up in the morning tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”
Put the day up for review
Stoicism isn’t just about thinking, it’s about action – and the best way to improve is to review. Each evening you should, like Seneca did, examine your day and your actions. As he put it “When the light has been removed and my wife has fallen silent, aware of this habit that is now mine, I examine my entire day and go back over what I’ve done and said, hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing by.” The question should be: Did I follow my plans for the day? Was I prepared enough? What could I do better? What have I learned that will help me tomorrow?
To-do list
Drive slowly and safely – enjoy the journey ✅
Talk with John and learn more about him
Prepare yourself to meet UK bureaucracy ✅
Go to the bookshop if you have time ✅
Be courteous to all traffic ✅
I fairly lazily drove over the mountains today and really enjoyed it. I was somewhat sad to arrive. I managed to do everything I planned and bought 5 books at the bookshop. A bit of an extravagance as none of them are on my to-read list.
The application for a new passport was also a completely painless experience for which I’m grateful.
I have very much enjoyed today so far sit now waiting for John to arrive and open his bar. The old auntie here, collecting parking money, shouts instructions from her wheelchair, as the cars pull into the driveway. John is running on Thai time and I’m starting to flake, the long day catching up with me.
I gave it half an hour and decided to leave, tiredness getting the better of me.
At Oh’s place and loved playing and petting her two puppies – once we had become friends. I suppose I could’ve waited for John for longer but don’t feel bad for not. I’m sure we’ll meet someday. It’s just nice to put a real personality to the online persona.
Tomorrow I have to drive back and teach Khawtang and Prang/Sea. Based on how I’m feeling right now, I’m going to be exhausted. Hopefully, I can enjoy some free time on Sunday.
I’m sitting here in a hot classroom with about thirty 10 and 11-year-olds dancing, screaming, shouting, crying, punching, singing, banging doors and hanging out windows. And this is on a good day.
But it is a good day. I am in the zone. I can hear and see the cacophony whirling around me, can feel the rush of air as little ghosts dash past. But I don’t notice it. Is this what a meditative state is like? I don’t know (yet).
I sat and listened to a meditation the other night. It had some special name and special components; it was interesting but made me very anxious. After relaxing into a quieter state you had to imagine yourself climbing a steep hill and huffing deeply, gasping for air. OK, I can imagine that. But this went on for what felt like 5 minutes. Huff huff. I wasn’t sure if I wasn’t getting too much air, or too little. Huff huff. I felt dizzy. Huff huff. Nauseous. Huff huff. Anxious. Huff huff. Muscles wound tight, I tensed my stomach, itched my arms and kicked my legs. Fuck this.
Of course, I understand the purpose and I’ll check this again – maybe in a morning before I’ve had any coffee. The feeling of reaching the top of a mountain after extreme exertion will always have a relaxing satisfaction. It’s a long journey. Next time.
I’m jealous of those who enjoy the benefits of meditation and it’s not that I don’t think I can do it. I fill my time with many things and meditation hasn’t found its way onto that list quite yet. Well, it is on the list, but never ticked.
Recently I have been able to tick a lot of things though and I’m quite proud of that. Everything around is about a challenge at the moment. A challenge of change. I’ve pondered if I’m having my mid-life crisis now. I think I had a minor one when I was about thirty but on reflection, it doesn’t seem like it was that critical. I want to get that long story written down one day, perhaps just so I can still remember it or enjoy it again when I’m going senile. Who knows when that will be?
If I can tick off some little challenges and form some good habits out of them I think they will prepare me for the bigger challenges that may be ahead. The unexpected challenges, the ones that you don’t realise are messing with your head and your happiness. I’m looking for better reactions and outcomes as I know I am sometimes my own worst enemy. I want to change.
I’m in a place right now that I consider a little precarious.
Moving from Australia to Thailand didn’t feel like much of a big deal and I have been particularly happy since making this move. No longer being in such a financial struggle has allowed lots of spare time to read, listen to music, write and learn more about myself. I have never needed to be surrounded by lots of people to maintain happiness and now I am far away from those that I have made friends with around the world. So, no big deal, I can make new friends here in Thailand.
But here’s the rub. I’m very conscious of some of the nefarious reasons that people come to live in Thailand, and how many Thais can exploit that. I didn’t come here to get sidetracked with other people’s ridiculous dramas. That rules out getting involved with the more visible of the English speakers where I am. Those people make themselves known.
I understand the comfort those people find drinking, gossiping and fornicating together. In a different time, I would’ve happily joined in. I don’t want to judge them too harshly. I just don’t want to be around them.
Now, myself not being the most outgoing person in the world, I am struggling a little bit because I would at least like the opportunity to make connections with more people. Not superficial acquaintances but connections like I have made in the past.
I can now look back at the feelings my ex from Japan had as she found it difficult to maintain friendships in Australia with her fellow countrymen as the nature of migration is most often temporary (not made easier by some countries’ inhospitable attitudes towards migrants).
Now I find myself with similar feelings.
I am attempting to connect as much as I can digitally and I am mostly happy in my little kingdom at home but outside those gates is starting to become a little scary and precarious. I feel like the rug could be pulled away at any time without any hope of control.
I started to think more about this because I set myself a challenge to talk to a stranger every day. That’s when I realised that I am the stranger now. Whilst I can communicate with a Thai person on a superficial level it can rarely go deeper, rarely connect.
Otherwise, I rarely see any other foreigners where there is an opportunity to talk but now it is in my mind. I tell the students here that they should run up to any foreigner they see and just start talking. Now, I have to tell myself to do that. It may be nothing…. No, it will never be nothing – there will always be something gathered from that challenge.
A friend may not be made; a connection may be forged; but a lesson will always be learned.
Now, I really should get back to studying some Thai.
Can you tell me What it is? Does it hurt you When I do this?
I love it, I hate it, I love it, I hate it too I love it, I hate it, I love it, so how about you?
Can you tell me? ‘Cause I don’t know Why don’t you tell me Why is it so Confusing?
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I can think through things better than I could before. Even though I haven’t been severely tested yet, every little piece of learning is helping to prepare me for any difficult situations in the future.
I’m quite envious of my students sometimes when I watch them laughing and playing together. I can feel the joy and excitement – it shines through their skin. It takes me back to those utter joyful days of excitement and wonder. Nothing else mattered except the fun to be had.
It has just struck me that the event that changed me was when we were at school at night time, to perform a play. All the students were there and lots of parents too. I had such a feeling of joy and connection that I wanted to kiss everybody. I was the same age as the kids in my class now.
When I wanted to kiss boys, I was mercilessly ridiculed by some of the more sexually advanced kids and they then gossiped to other kids and I left that once joyful night totally humiliated. Hmm. That night played on my mind for a long time and is obviously still clear to me now. Fucking kids.
From commonplace book
From quiet homes and first beginning Out of the undiscovered ends There’s nothing worth the wear of winning Save laughter and the love of friends
Hilaire Belloe
To-do list
Start compiling exam questions ½
Check if emails can be compiled and printed ✅
Write more in school journal ✅
Can you find an opportunity to help someone
Keep practising – Think first, speak later
Strange day today. Only found out when I arrived that there was some event on all morning and there would be no lessons which meant changing my teaching plans somewhat. I really felt quite chill with everything today. Whilst others were complaining I thought it wasn’t useful. We always complain about the same things. We know they will happen again and again – so complaining isn’t going to change anything.
I sat in my classroom and did what I wanted all morning as I hadn’t been given any directive to be elsewhere. The lack of communication can work in my favour.
I compiled a bunch of outstanding emails and printed a bunch of things so I’m quite pleased with that. I started putting together the exam questions and have a few weeks left to complete all that.
I had lots of time as I also had no classes in the afternoon so I was able to read and write a lot. As I didn’t meet many adults today I didn’t really find an opportunity to help anyone. I would’ve liked to ask Kru Noon if she wanted me to do anything but I only saw her for about five minutes around lunchtime. I’ll keep in my mind that I should offer some help.
I spoke a bit more than necessary when I met some of the other teachers – must remember to keep some thoughts to myself. I didn’t overdo anything though. Just something to keep getting better at.
Tomorrow I will drive to Chiang Mai for my passport application. I challenge myself to drive more slowly – not over 100 km/h and to be more careful. I will go to Mohawk Bar in the evening and meet John Murrie – I’m interested in what he has to say about teaching and politics.
If I have time I will drop by International House and say hello. Also, if time and money permits I’d like to check out the bookshop that Oh recommended.
I really want to learn to meditate in an effort to calm my mind. My mind is no longer busy with negative thoughts but quite often with useless thoughts. I just want to calm those down if I can.
I also want to learn to practice the things I have been reading about and put them into action. This is far more difficult than expected and I’m hoping that just by continually being exposed to them that it will rub off on my day-to-day actions.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to manage myself and my time and be adaptable to sudden changes. Today I got given an extra class which could have been annoying but it was perfect as it is for a class I will miss on Friday so having to do the class now means those kids won’t be behind.
From commonplace book
Without knowledge of what I am and why I am here, it is impossible to live.
Levin, Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy, pg 908
To-do list
Think, then speak.✅
Do something nice for someone.
Start putting together exam questions.
Help Boyan with ideas for English camp. ✅
Practice gratitude about the school. ✅
I caught myself a couple of times and chose to stop talking and let the other person speak. At the meeting yesterday I was pleased that Boyan chose to want me to work with. He’s not an easy person to make an impression on so i felt a little flattered that he felt I was OK enough to work with. He came primed with an idea in the morning and by the end of the day we had it all fleshed out and ready to go.
I spent a good bit of time writing out why I’m grateful for the school. That was tough but I managed to fill a whole (small) page.
Ran out of time for exam questions but have everything else for the semester completed now. I also picked up the grade 6 books and have challenged myself to write a week’s worth of lessons from those (at least). Even if I don’t end up teaching that next semester it is still good to keep planning.
In the morning I got given an extra class which became quite fortunate as it meant I could complete the full week of regular English classes which wouldn’t have happened as planned as I’ll be away on Friday. This potential negative turned out to be very helpful and I handled it well. The students were really happy to see me too which made me feel good.
My general negative thoughts from yesterday have all disappeared today and I have noticed myself being more comfortable around the kids again. In some ways, not being able to hug or touch them has created a little distance which has made me care a little less about them. Maybe by care less, I mean more detached. This is probably a good thing for now.
Today I also wrote a little more to Lachlan and received audio files back from Jochen – it was nice to hear his voice again. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to edit it all yet but I’m looking forward to the challenge.
Just by chance, as I was reading Anna Karenina a perfect passage stuck out to me and became my first entry in my commonplace book (see above).
Tomorrow we have some sort of Buddhist ceremony event and I’m not sure what we are required to do and if it involves doing some sort of ritual thing. I’m undecided about whether to refuse or not. I asked George about this a couple of weeks ago and he said he would just do it – who cares? I read today to copy the actions of people you respect so thinking that that’s what I will do.
I also hope to clear out a bunch of emails that I’ve had sitting around. They are not important but challenges that may take a little time to do – I’ll see if I can print them out and do them that way.
Things to be grateful for in this school: – I have a printer! – There is aircon and fans. – There are enough resources for my teaching. – I have a lot of spare time. – The keen students make me happy. – I have a desk, electricity, chair, water, board and markers, TV and computer. – I understand what I need to do. – It’s easy to get to work. – My co-teacher is helpful and nice. – The other teachers are nice. – There’s no real gossip or if there is, I don’t hear about it. – I have good classes of kids. – There is toilet paper! – I’m learning to think whilst surrounded by noise. – I’m practising patience every day.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the ease with which I can talk with my son, something that was much more difficult when I moved away from my mum. I am so happy and grateful that I was able to afford technology when I wanted it and invested in expensive and long-lasting equipment.
From commonplace book
He had been not so much horrified by death as by life with the slightest knowledge of its origin, its purpose, its reason and its nature.
Levin, Anna Karenina by Leo Tolsoy, pg 904
To-do list
Get new passport photos. ✅
Start thinking about work permit requirements. ✅
Practice gratitude about the school.
Think, then speak. Do not complain. You will be surrounded by complainers. ✅
Write to Jochen. ✅
After attending a meeting in the morning, for a 4-day English ‘camp’ (not sure why they use this word) I was thinking a lot of negative thoughts. There was nothing particularly wrong about the items of the meeting but just the whole lack of coordinated planning got into my head. It affects the Thai teachers too as they are unable to answer our questions.
I kept my mouth shut as much as possible and started to feel complete disinterest in teaching in these schools. I even started to question my enthusiasm for teaching at home too. Thailand is getting to me a little bit.
I soldiered on and late in the day Kru Noon confided quite a lot of her doubts about the school. I used that opportunity to be quiet and she talked and talked. She had a lot of useful information though nothing particularly positive for the future at that school. So with all that, I don’t think I did practice any gratitude about the school today. Only having two lessons was a joy at least.
Amy and I both went to the track to walk/run after I got home. It’s tough to motivate yourself so I’m hoping to tie this habit with getting home from work and going for exercise. I feel pretty good at the moment (physically) and able to lose a bit of weight and keep it off. I pushed up squats to 40 and will stick with that for a week or two.
My self-control was mostly tested in that morning meeting and I think I did well and was able to tell myself ‘Shut up, don’t say anything’. Tomorrow I would like to continue this thinking before speaking practice, especially before saying anything negative. I think I caught myself a couple of times today and quickly tried to stop talking or change the subject
Prudence – behaviour that is careful and avoids risks Courage – the ability to control your fear in a dangerous or difficult situation Justice – fairness in the way people are dealt with Temperance – control of your own behaviour
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have enough money in my hand and enough time in my schedule to be able to buy myself a coffee.
From commonplace book
Dreaming is the ability to see something that doesn’t exist yet.
Mel Robbins (?)
To-do list
Call Hayden and congratulate him on doing some fundraising. ✅
It’s Monday. Classes will be tough. You are mentally prepared! ✅
You will deal with any emotional challenges calmly. Do not speak until later. ½
Run after work.
Prepare files for Jochen. ✅
It’s Monday and the classes were tough! But I was prepared for the feelings of frustration. I dealt with it as best as I could and felt pretty good about all the classes by the end of the day.
I managed to talk with Hayden after a missed call earlier in the day and we chatted for a good half an hour. He seems quite enthused with ideas at the moment and seems to be on a better path to planning his future. I did congratulate him on his fundraising activities. He’s not just thinking about himself during these times of crisis in Australia and has found a good way to apply himself in the circumstances.
No real emotional challenges came my way today but I did catch myself complaining a couple of times. It feels like a very fine line between stating some facts about events and complaining about them. At least I’m catching myself – now I just need to catch myself before saying anything.
I have a bit of a chest cough today and time ran out for us to go running too. I had the will but was still a little exhausted from driving so much yesterday.
So I took the time to prepare mp3s for Jochen, uploaded and emailed. I think the final results could be quite fun. It will be fun to put together anyway.
My self-control was fully tested in my classes today and, although I did well, I can still do better.
Tomorrow will be a test as we have a meeting about something that we haven’t really been told about and are apparently supposed to be prepared for. It is quite a normal situation these days so that is something that I am OK with.
I’m expecting that this thing is supposed to be on a weekend though and already prepared for a discussion about attendance as I have already warned them that I will not work on weekends under any circumstances.
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