Category: 2024

Metronome – 25th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Nature
Encompasses
Earth, wind, water and fire
A natural concert of peace
For life

Balance
In harmony
A symphony rises
Interconnecting timelessness
Steady

A double cinquain submitted to Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Nature’s Symphony

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good on waking again and all was good at school until I was just about to head off in search of coffee. A huge downpour soon flooded all the paths and the roads, already chockers with cars dropping off kids.

The rain didn’t stop for a good 40 minutes or so and I wondered whether to just head to 22 Grams or bother looking for another cafe.

I opted to keep looking and thankfully, at Couple Cups (recommended by Art at Utopia) there was a parking spot right outside. Even so, I got saturated just getting to the front door!

I’ve been here for almost 4 hours, mostly reading and my eyes are getting blurry and dusty. I’m not feeling too bad, though.

Off home to pick up Tigger and take him to the vet for his follow-up check from last week, He seems all well and good now.

I talked to the kids in my one class that I have this afternoon and they said that they would prefer not to have any work set! Uh-huh!?

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

My first interactions on Instagram after putting up some poetry there, even though I’m sure that they are just promotional accounts looking for business.

I was also grateful to get an unexpected refund from Shopee for some trousers I had paid for and forgotten all about. I ordered a shirt and some multivitamins and still had a little left to spare.

I’m feeling a little more secure financially this month so that when Amy just came and showed me a picture of two ginger kittens, I immediately said yes, let’s get them!

The best thing about today was:

Doing something different for food today. Even though it wasn’t wow, it was nice to have a change of routine.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’m running out of energy again after getting home at lunchtime and coming back to the city with Tigger. I feel like I need to eat.

Amy suggested dropping Tigger off at home and going off for pizza as soon as we can. Sounds like a plan.

(Later) We did that and I ate a lot! When we got back home, I closed my eyes whilst listening to videos of talk about the grand final this weekend.

But no rest as we were soon off to visit Khaotang to help her with her school assignment.

Whilst we were there, though, a Grab rider got knocked off his motorcycle by a truck that sped off and the guy didn’t look in good shape.

I stayed inside, trying to concentrate and told KT that she shouldn’t go to look either.

By the time all the ambulances and other vehicles had cleaned up, I’d finished putting together the text for her to read and understand.

She has some problem with this Thai teacher because he gave her grade 1 when their foreign English teacher gave her grade 4. My guess is that her English is actually better than the Thai teacher’s!

Something I learned today?

Chiang Mai is starting to flood now! Nong May has just arrived and Amy’s old flatmate will be coming next month and we were planning to go and meet everyone.

Maybe plans will change.

Please – 24th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Do you want to discover who you are
Or do you want someone else to tell you?
What is it gonna be?

Submitted to Weekend Writing Prompt #382 – Please (22 words)

My name in LandSat – just for a little fun:

Today I’m feeling:

Well slept and pretty good on waking. Not quite enough to get up a little earlier and do some exercise but at least I’m feeling better.

I got to school and because it has been raining, the kids aren’t out doing any more cleaning just yet. Much of the mud is clear now anyway.

We got advised to just send work in LINE to our classes, which essentially means that I could go back home but I’m at 22 Grams for now. I’ve set the kids some work to send me and so I’m back to catching up on reading and writing some more.

(Later) I got a little screen blind sitting, looking at my laptop all morning, so I headed home and did a little shopping.

When I got home, though, I couldn’t resist a little snooze after reading a little of David Foster Wallace’s Consider the Lobster. There was a big dark rain keeping things cool and I managed to snooze with just the window open.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Receiving an email from Jake back in Australia, replying to an order he placed with me back in April!

He seems to be doing ok though, still dealing with some anxiety issues with certain people. I told him I still have my ups and downs, too.

The best thing about today was:

Discovering that we would have classes (of a sort) today, though we could just ‘phone them in’, allowing me to sit in the cafe and do my stuff.

It wasn’t as uplifting as yesterday and I think, as I’m caught up on a fair bit of reading and writing, I should switch to doing some more lesson planning for next semester.

I miss the chairs and tables at House that I have grown accustomed to, though. I’m not so comfortable at 22 Grams. I should also check out a different space or two tomorrow. Want to get that flow back again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Out of the blue, KhaoTang called up Amy about having trouble with some class work at her school.

She was typically over the top, saying that she’s gonna die and it took a while for Amy to calm her down. KT has some kind of disorder from being smart and overweight and getting bullied when she was younger.

It was odd though, as we haven’t really talked with her often since early 2022 when Amy went off to Australia and we stepped back a bit from her and her mum as they brought too much drama to our quiet lives.

Amy got a little wound up by this latest drama but decided to help, which also involved me having to help.

It’s actually a typical Thai teacher situation that has created the problem for KhaoTang and once we got more information from her, we could understand more about how to help.

We asked her to redo her work again, now that she clearly understood the requirement and will check in on it tomorrow.

We like to help students and already have a kind of relationship with KT but she still exhibits a great lack of social skills that I’m pretty sure come from her upbringing (I don’t want to blame her mum completely).

It’s not uncommon here in Thailand either, as I have come across similar situations at my school too.

Something I learned today?

I read a lot, the info went into the brain and there it seems to be stuck. I guess there was nothing of particular significance today but hopefully that nugget of wisdom rattling around will find good use at some point.

I took this picture because this little cutie was chilling on top of a car outside 22 Grams.

A Reconciliation – 23rd September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 18 Comments

How to make something happen, how
To meet what’s left for me head-on
It’s a long road travelled upon
So what dreams of the future now?

I ran so fast to get ahead
After all the rushing around
I’ve found my feet stuck to the ground
How to make something happen, how

Can I learn from my past mistakes
Blindly followed the loudest voices
Crossroads offer too many choices
So what dreams of the future now?

How to make something happen, how
To reconcile the debris of all that’s gone?
So what dreams of the future now?

A reflection on getting older and wondering what might be next. I’m reasonably happy with my life and feel a little lack of ambition. This could be the folly of comfort but I’m tired too.
Shared with dVerse Poetry Form: Villonnet and Poets and Storytellers United – dreams and also for a course at AllPoetry.com
17th Dec 2024 – Published at Edge of Humanity

Today I’m feeling:

A little better again this morning. It was good to see more kids around school and I’ve managed to get out a little bit for a coffee kick start.

I sent a message to Kru Mai at around 10 am to see what was going on and was told that I could find 2/7 and help them out with cleaning.

So I went back to school but it was an hour and a half before I found them and they were just sitting and waiting in the canteen.

I helped out a little here and there as I was walking around but it was very disorganised and chaotic, though some of the motivated kids were doing a lot of work.

I found Jet and asked her what her class was supposed to be doing in the afternoon and her reply (as was everyone’s) was just ‘cleaning’. Whatever that might entail. She said she will probably ‘jump’, meaning skipping out of school and I laughed and said ‘same!’

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Having options for other coffee shops now that House won’t be available for a while.

I tried Hobby this morning but the coffee is not to my taste, really and also expensive at 70 baht.

In the afternoon, I went to 22 Grams, where at least I know the coffee is great but that is also 70 baht too.

Maybe I will try a couple of other places this week just to see what else is out there.

The best thing about today was:

Getting into a real flow again this afternoon whilst at 22 Grams. I caught up on a lot of reading and a bit of writing and also worked out some other ideas for publishing poetry on Instagram and Substack.

I ended up spending almost 4 hours there and was in a good mood, so I thought to drop back by school on the way home just to check in with what was going on.

However, literally as I crossed the road to my car a huge storm rained down and traffic slowed as rain flooded the roads, possibly as most of the drainage was still blocked from mud.

I decided to skip school, though it took me a fair while to get back home as the rain pelted down all the way.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’d thought that I would pick some things up from Makro on the way home too but the rain put the kibosh on that.

Not to worry, if the rest of the week goes like today, there should still be opportunity to do a little shop one afternoon.

Something I learned today?

I learned a little bit about setting up Substack to publish and then also started investigating the Buy Me A Coffee app, though I struggled to figure out how to add the widget or embed it on my pages so far.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I ended up giving Film my copy of Childhood’s End today. I hope he can enjoy it and get something out of it.

Praewa took this picture because she wanted to take photos of me helping to clean, which was a good idea just in case I got asked if I had helped at all!

Second Thought – 22nd September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

Burn all the books
It’s a cultural revolution
All the thoughts thought
Provided no solution

Dump it in the trash
Far away from winning
The sign says “not in use”
Start again at the beginning

With a second thought
Philosophy is stupid
Is it a world of facts?
Or is it only reputed?

Inspired by Existential Comics 551

Today I’m feeling:

Not too bad today, at least in the morning. I got up at a reasonable time, partly in preparation for going back to school tomorrow at the normal time.

I spent a few hours at Utopia reading and writing and could get myself into the flow for that which felt good.

By afternoon, though I ran out of energy and napped and have been lazy and run down since. I hope that feeling doesn’t carry over to tomorrow.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Noey being back from overseas and bringing me a couple of small gifts and making my coffee today. It was good to see her again and it sounded like she had a great time on her travels.

The best thing about today was:

Hmm – today felt like a day of two halves, the first with energy and positivity and whilst I still felt positive later, my lack of energy was disappointing. So nothing in particular stands out to me today.

Something I learned today?

I made my first poetry Instagram post today and will start learning more about it and give it a go to try and get some more eyes on my writing somehow. With no friends or followers added yet, though I have had zero views in 8 hours!

I also updated my MacBook and iPhone, which now means that I can mirror the iPhone and write directly from my keyboard into this app. This makes writing a lot easier and I would only have been able to do it before by paying for the premium option.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

By following students on Instagram, I found out that today is Rista’s birthday and so I sent her birthday wishes. She’s a nice, lively kid and I like her a lot.

Step Into The Light – 21st September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments
Image Credit: Danial Burka @ Unsplash

So tired of being in the dark and all alone

There’s still a mountain to climb
And will the promise there hold true?

Step into the light I keep telling myself…

Step into the light I keep telling myself…

Step into the light I keep telling myself…

Submitted to WDYS #254 (above picture prompt). The title and first line is from Archers of Loaf’s ‘Step Into The Light’ and constitute the whole of its lyric! I haven’t added much more but it represents the dark headspace I’ve found myself in recently.

My reply to this post about sitting on the fence and UK politics

I could admire Thatcher as a woman dealing with a man’s world, but as a politician I despised her.

It’s impossible to say how things would have gone if she was never elected but I see the decline of the UK starting with her.

I appreciate that things were on the decline before that but this was visible during my lifetime and one of the reasons I was glad to leave the UK in the 90’s.

“Is it so wrong to sit on the fence?” – I constantly consider this, perhaps a reflection of my own Englishness. People who don’t sit on the fence seem to have more charisma and confidence but I find the world far more grey.

I also consider that I shouldn’t express an opinion if I am not fully aware of the facts.

Today I’m feeling:

A little dizzy and out of sorts. I was up early to get to my hospital appointment and forgot to even grab a coffee first.

As I was driving here, just over the bridge, there was a loose flock of sheep on the highway and one had been hit and killed, lying in the middle of the road.

There’s still garbage and drying mud everywhere at the sides of the roads and the vague fences that used to hold in animals are all flattened.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Not taking too long at the hospital this morning and getting back to enjoy a couple of coffees before lunch.

The ENT doctor didn’t seem too worried and just prescribed some more meds and told me to come back in two weeks’ time.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing reading Childhood’s End and enjoying it a lot.

It got me in the mood to watch Interstellar tonight as my student Film kept raving about it. I enjoyed it too, but only really appreciated it in the last 20 minutes or so when some of the earlier parts of the movie started to make sense.

I think I will lend Film Childhood’s End to read. His English is pretty great and I think he can understand most of it and would enjoy it.

Something I learned today?

I know what my throat looks like now after having a tube camera stuck in my mouth. Apart from the mucus stuck inside, things in there look good and healthy.

Brisbane managed to get over Geelong today in a tough match, losing one of their players to injury too.

It bodes well for the Swans next week, except for a couple of things.

Today, Brisbane played at the MCG, where next week’s game will be played. They are also last year’s losing finalists, which gives them extra motivation.

Having said that, most of our team played in the losing final the year before that, so that motivation is there for us too.

Thinking about following sports is something that at least keeps me focused on the now. I understand the appeal to others of sports that I have no interest in.

No Refunds – 20th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Bread and water are all that’s served
At the Epicurean diner
300 dollars for the wisdom observed
But no wine for the whiner!

Inspired (possibly ripped off) by Existential Comics 552

Today I’m feeling:

Dizzy and tired still, though a little better mentally.

I think I’m understanding a little more about why I’m feeling the way I am mentally.

My routine involves teaching and writing and those both keep me in the now. Whenever I’m not doing those things, I have been updating my blog or watching things relevant to my past ie. nostalgic.

Due to the flooding and school being closed, my routine has been upended and I haven’t been doing things that have kept me rooted in the now and way too much thinking about the past.

This has got me contemplating too much about things outside my control. Perhaps it was sitting for hours (in the now) at the hospital yesterday that has brought all this into focus.

So, now aware of this, I can think about how to improve my thoughts and situation.

I slept ok until some point in the night I had indigestion and then remembered that I had drunk two bottles of soda water in the evening, something I know will get my guts rumbling when I’m lying down to sleep. I’m a slow learner.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

To the student in the shop who read the staff with my shopping list (see below).

The best thing about today was:

Sydney beating Port to make another grand final. I managed to listen on the radio, which is certainly not exciting at all and really difficult to follow but at least I was able to keep up with the game.

I’ll watch the mini-match tomorrow and enjoy that.

I’ll probably listen to the Geelong/Brisbane game too and hope that they belt the shit out of each other to make it tougher next week for whoever is the winner.

Something I learned today?

Amy asked me to pick some stuff up at the auntie’s store at Fah Tai market and sent me a list written in Thai. When I showed it to the boy working at the shop, he apologised and told me that he couldn’t read. I guess he just gets by ok on speaking.

Cave And Ferry – 19th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 21 Comments

Wet with privilege, a subtle sorrow
No more songs will come
A tuneful whistle on a country drive
All that’s left of the genius one

There is always something
And always nothing too
With little air in between
The difference is the work to do

A satisfied melancholy
A poetic drama ends
Left to wander the grounds
Bumping into friends

Inspired and pilfered from The Red Hand Files #286
12th Dec 2025 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #207 – in between

oday I’m feeling:

Really dizzy and out of sorts. I went straight to the hospital but still hadn’t seen a doctor by midday. When I asked, they said that I had to wait for a ‘special’ doctor who only arrives at 1 pm!

My head is also not in a good place right now, either. Wild thoughts of quitting and moving or just sleeping.

Health:

Physical: 5
Mental: 5

Today I’m grateful for:

All the staff who helped me at the hospital. Despite it being frustrating, I don’t think it was anyone’s fault in particular.

The best thing about today was:

Not much I must admit. I did start to feel a little more positive by the evening, so that is something at least.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I don’t know why things took so long at the hospital today. I got there at nine and finally left at 2.45 pm. I saw a doctor for less than two minutes and was told to come back to see an ENT specialist on Saturday.

Something I learned today?

I should follow up with the staff at the hospital a little quicker. It may only be a coincidence but things only started happening once I asked what was going on.

I Don’t Want To Go Home – 18th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

A smooth glossy stone
In the palm of my hand
Face reflected on the surface
Curious to understand

Who I have become
Where I have been
Slow motion, underwater
Ripples along the stream

A soft peaceful memory
The curtain closed the stage
Coming up for breath
Living a new age

I don’t want to go home
The glitter and gold
That got me here
Is only half the story told

Inspired and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions
14th Feb 2025 – Shared with No Theme Thursday and the picture above.

Today I’m feeling:

Really tired and a little low. I slept well enough and got up feeling reasonable but after coffee I just felt zapped.

This morning, Tigger had sprayed near the bin and it was dark and bloodied. Not looking forward to going to school, I readily agreed when Amy asked if we should take him to the vet.

I figured that I would go back to school again later but as my energy drained, Amy thought it best that I stay home and by 11 am, I was back in bed and sleeping for an hour or so.

Tomorrow I will go back to the hospital and get myself checked out because something is definitely wrong with my body, it’s just that it doesn’t seem to be identifiable.

Health:

Physical: 5
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Dr Arnon saying that he didn’t want to go out anywhere in the city because seeing all the mess and destruction is depressing. It confirmed for me that it is not just me feeling this way.

The best thing about today was:

More and more reading, less video watching. I’m not motivated for much else right now and haven’t done any writing for the past three days either.

No Life Ordinary – 17th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In love with trash trucks and bar signs
Dirty sidewalks and chaotic lines
Stepped on dead rats riding the rail
Soothing sirens announce a bloodied trail

A desperate reach to grab the air
The rambling mind, a heart laid bare
Spilt milk and the ding, ding, ding!
A date with disaster or a song to sing?

In love with bar signs and trash trucks
The struggle to enjoy a couple more bucks
A bustled hustle each patron employs
The sound of a memory, a beautiful noise

Shouts from the wet streets are rising
Up the five floors exercising
A cozy space amongst the debris
Dreamt by dreams, it’s no life ordinary

Inspired and phrases borrowed from this post at Spinning Visions.

Today I’m feeling:

Ok after a while but I slept badly during the night, for no apparent reason.

I thought maybe I was a little anxious about going to school today to help with cleaning up. I haven’t had this anxiety about a small, minor thing like this for a few years now and surprised to be feeling this way.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Our local shops and the tax-free shadow economy. We can get everything we need for ourselves within walking distance.

Extra items we can order online and even shop for bigger or bulk items, we can get delivered from stores in the area too.

The best thing about today was:

I finished reading another book this morning as I was drinking my coffee before heading to school. I haven’t been reading as much this year but slowly turning away from the lure of videos and back to books.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My feeling was weird today. After starting off anxious, as I was driving to school, I felt ok again but on arrival and seeing the mess and mud, I just felt off.

I can’t quite put my finger on why. It’s like the whole situation is depressing and I just want things to be the way they were, laughing and playing with my students.

I know this is unreasonable and against everything that I’ve been studying over the last couple of years.

It manifested after lunch in extreme exhaustion. I watched people chaotically working hard with little organisation and direction. After all, we are teachers, not a flood clean-up crew. But everyone wants to feel and be seen as contributing; it’s understandable.

Feeling dizzy and dejected, I came home and I was only a little revived after eating some dinner. I hope that I can sleep better tonight.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I don’t feel good about not really helping to clean up the school much today.

Baibua took this picture of me because I stole her hat whilst I was chatting with her, Air and Toey as they were taking a break from cleaning.

Legend Tree – 16th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

Is it safe to sit on old memories?
The musty heat binds spells
The hint of all possibilities
Returned to through dusted smells

The tales all began right here
The crossroads of the village meeting
Cherished moments soon disappear
Disruptions thankfully fleeting

Why did these histories not repeat?
They were where legends made
One or two remain on this street
But nothing else has stayed

Who now will push the swing,
Laugh at the falling from the tree?
To sit in the light the moon will bring
And who will remember me?

Submitted to the above picture at this week’s No Theme Thursday which brought to mind Polvo’s Light of the Moon (hence the penultimate line). The picture makes me nostalgic for my childhood village life, where legends were absolutely made, yet not repeated by the following generations.

Today I’m feeling:

OK, though a little on edge. I guess I feel a little bad for not going to school. I don’t know why but I don’t feel like helping with cleaning up there like others are doing.

Having said that, though, I will go tomorrow and see what there is that I can help with that hopefully doesn’t involve getting dirty and I’ll go work somewhere if I can. I need to find a new quiet place to work for a while, somewhere that still has a decent coffee, though!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

There being no real damage to Amy’s ribs, which are still hurting after she slipped while cleaning last week.

Hospital gave her the all clear and some medicine, though advised that this kind of injury, bruised ribs, can take a long time to heal

The best thing about today was:

Reading a few more chapters of Childhood’s End. Awesome thought-provoking stuff and in some ways makes me think of the possible peace China is promoting around the world, at least in comparison with the West.

Could humans pick themselves up and find a Utopian ideal by themselves? Could we submit to a power that provides for all? Could we accept internal Overlords without the necessity of an external alien threat?

In my mind, this must be possible. Though not in my lifetime. What about in yours, when you are reading this?

Something I learned today?

Anchan didn’t make it in time to apply for the exam for the school she wanted, but I think it’s because she knows that she would likely fail.

I’m still willing to help if I can, but not sure how much effort she is prepared to put in. I also don’t know what else is in her mind and what she has to deal with, with her grandmother.

Fatman report