Look Back And Smile – 3rd September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 24 Comments

One day we’ll look back and smile
Laugh at the silly things we did
We don’t need to do them again
There’s no need to be repeated

A rocking chair on the back porch
One day we’ll look back and smile
A book in hand, a reminder
Of happy days once in a while

Through all trials and tribulations
We found our happiness at last
One day we’ll look back and smile
At the tough times we have passed

We must recall the lessons learned
Before we get old and senile
And the final chapter beckons
One day we’ll look back and smile

Submitted to Weekly Prompts -The One-Day Prompt (5) and inspired by Sadje’s entry ‘Change will happen – one day’ using the quatern form.
17th Dec 2025 – Shared with dVerse Poetics Tuesday – looking back
20th Mar 2026 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #219

Today I’m feeling:

A little better again, though still not quite right. Big storms rolled through last night with window-rattling thunder that woke up from time to time. The rainwater in the garden now has nowhere to go as the ground is saturated.

I’m also a little anxious about how little money I have left already this month but I keep reminding myself that it is only a 30-day month, so it feels like I will get paid again sooner than some other months!

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The new mala shop that opened at the end of our soi and we tried for lunch today.

At first, it tasted so-so, but it got better as the flavours began to soak into the food and settle on our palates.

My stomach is complaining a little bit now, though.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling motivated and feeling like I was getting things done. I’m almost caught up on checking out all the music I’ve downloaded this year. I cleared out some poems that I needed to read, wrote a couple myself, did some more grading, downloaded more comics and even managed to practice some guitar.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite feeling a bit better, my voice is really croaky and it feels like something is blocking the airways.

For the last few nights, I’ve been waking up, lying on my back and gasping for breath.

Something I learned today?

Well, things have blown up badly between one of Amy’s close friends and her husband and it’s all in process right now. Without going into detail, it raises uncomfortable questions that we might ask ourselves if we were in that situation.

So the best thing to do is not get into that situation. Simple.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I congratulated the students who performed their play today and came fourth.

I then commiserated with them as the Thai teachers berated them for not doing better.

Across The Room – 2nd September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

It’s understood now
– Standing on the other side
– – Art hung in splendour

Squinting at the past
– Gone with the flow of the tide
– – Returned to sender

Perspective requires
– A distance beyond the known
– – Coughing up sunshine

A new world beckons
– The antithesis of home
– – Seemingly sublime

Caught in the moment
– Reflections in the window
– – As the train pulls in

Clawing the way out
– Of all the worlds goes to show
– – The jewel in the crown

Inspired and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions
13th Nov 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Distance

Today I’m feeling:

A little better. I set my alarm for 7 and went about preparing like any other school day, taking my laptop to Utopia and sitting there reading and writing, then a little later, doing some grading.

I came back home around 11 am and didn’t end up doing much more.

After a bike ride with Amy in the late afternoon, I did put together half a lesson but I couldn’t motivate myself to get out to my room and play the guitar.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Not running out of petrol on our bike ride this afternoon, as little Fino has been running on fumes for the last week or so.

I was also grateful to get paid, though I managed to spend almost half of it immediately, paying bills and ordering some needed items online.

The best thing about today was:

Starting to feel like I was getting a little of my writing inspiration back again.

Something I learned today?

Last night, Amy asked me if Hayden had called me and I said no and she reminded me that it was Father’s Day. In fact, he had tried to call through Facebook but I was logged in with my other account, so I didn’t know until I checked today and called him back.

He seemed a little down and told me that he and Vash had broken up. He did have some things coming up that he is looking forward to, though.

Slowly, slowly, Hayden, son.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I finished paying for the Minnesota Pocket Circuit CD to be produced today and hopefully it will be ready soon, and Team in Bangkok can start promoting his new band.

Fairlight Falls – 1st September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Fairlight falls down
side-poured through silver
trunks dripping gold

Soft feet crinkle steps
along a path hidden
under the crispy cakes

The third of March,
we two are three,
Mother and son

One foot forward,
a thought not repeated
on this path trodden once

Soft, bright and smooth
hands held in safety;
the comfort of a paw

Knowing no place to go
into the autumn stride
compelled towards the light

My first attempt at a triversen (as discussed at dVerse) using the No Theme Thursday picture attached as a prompt

Today I’m feeling:

A little better after coffee but this morning I didn’t want to get up and covered my head with a pillow to block the light and noise from Cap scratching at the door to be fed. I was slow to get up and felt like a zombie trudging around the house.

My eyes still ache and there is a weird feeling at the bottom of my throat. Whenever I tilt my head back, I’m automatically forced to cough. I want to feel normal again!

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

A little five-minute ride around the back of our house on the way back from coffee this morning.

Even though I know the roads well enough, they always look different each time I go there. Stuff grows so quickly and at the same time can be removed quickly too.

The best thing about today was:

A documentary about Rhodesia/Zimbabwe gave me some more information about the history there, after reading about it in the Decline and Fall of the British Empire.

The traveller who made the documentary also followed on into South Africa and it was interesting to note that it seemed to be safer in Zimbabwe, which I was a little surprised by.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I slept for three hours after lunch today. This was better than yesterday at least, when I slept for two hours before lunch.

Something I learned today?

Ipswich have their first point of the season after a one-all draw against Fulham yesterday.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

As I was riding around this morning, Amy called me to pick up some tomatoes. I was nowhere near the market by that time but I went back and spent ten baht!

I took this screenshot from a video sent to me on Friday morning, from three students who were off doing something and couldn’t come to class. All they said in the video was ‘We love you, teacher Shaun!’ Aww.   This is Toey and Air.

Broken Poetry – 31st August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Is this matrix worthwhile?
I miss her, I miss her so
Broken hearts will mend in time
I know, I know, yes, I know

Inside broken poetry
Made a home from a dead heart
We are creatures made to love
And duty-bound, play our part

She has gone and I’m still here
The cosmic universe chose
She’s shown me that I’m worth it
Back to the matrix she goes

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased into seven-syllable lines from the question and answer at The Red Hand Files #293

The Decline and Fall of the British Empire, 1781-1997 by Piers Brendon
(reviewed at Goodreads.com)

I love the language used in this book though it did make it a little bit of a slog but, as an Englishman myself, this was a fascinating journey. Somehow, in my youth, I was aware of the way things were going in Britain and got myself out just before the end of this book, the handover of Hong Kong.

I was appalled at the lies and deceit of the Empire and thoroughly enjoyed following its decline. I also noted how the USA was (hypocritically) critical of Britain’s colonialism before they stepped into the breach after WW2. And it fills me with warmth to see the USA making the same mistakes since then, and being able to watch their own empire’s decline in real time.

Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy and lazy. Knowing that I have the next six days at home isn’t helping either! 

I want to get myself motivated but my body is holding back my brain.

(Later) Well, I did a bit of reading and finally finished my book.  Onto some sci-fi next for something a little different.

I was able to motivate myself to get out to my room where I did some blogging, writing, listening and guitar playing, which I was glad of but didn’t feel was particularly inspiring.  

Sometimes you just have to go through the motions to work towards that habit.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s friend Fon, who dropped off a couple of small fish for us yesterday and Amy cooked them up for lunch today.

The best thing about today was:

Eating! I had breakfast, lunch and dinner today, as I’m wondering if my lack of energy is down to not eating enough. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow. 

I’m a couple of kilos up on last week, too, so I need to make sure that if I do get energised, that I work out of again.

Something I learned today?

Art was really excited to tell me this morning that Oasis will play some concerts again and that he would fly to Singapore to see them if he had to!

I took this picture because our visitor came for a chill on the grass this afternoon.

The New Normal – 30th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 22 Comments

The dream is dead, since the sixties
Turned to the seventies, nice and sleazy
Endless wars processed the hippies and pixies
Economic vandals left a peace uneasy

Was it in our name, the forever fight for peace?
Did we ever question what’s going on here?
The grabs for land then returned for lease
The struggle for survival, a punishment severe

Can the decks be cleared with genocide?
The algorithms are running the numbers
There’s no longer a place to hide
And we’re left holding only clunkers

Sign away our lives with disappearing ink
Fingers crossed and handshakes informal
Accustomed to shit we no longer smell the stink
This is the new normal – abnormal

Submitted to Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Uneasy, Weekend Writing Prompt #378 – Severe (though not 18 words – I always forget that there’s a word limit in Sammi’s prompts!), Monday Poetry Prompt: Abnormal and Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Clunkers. This could also be submitted to dVerse – stormy weather but I already submitted another poem to that.

Today I’m feeling:

Uncertain yet. I slept for about ten hours and could’ve slept more, too. I’m still coughing but it doesn’t feel so much like there’s a hole in my chest.

I’m looking forward to the end of the day already.

(Later) I was a little ill-prepared for my first class, grade 11s doing presentations, as the lesson I had could be completed quickly. 

As this class is fairly lazy, though they didn’t care and spent the rest of the time playing games or sleeping. I did go around engaging them in brief conversations, though. 

The next class were grade 11 too and we did my Scams lesson and it went well and I was particularly happy with Sugus who seems to have been trying harder over the last few weeks. She has improved her English and I made sure to tell her and encourage her.

I dashed off for coffee and caught up with reading at lunchtime before heading back to help the students with the play, cancelling my afternoon grade 8 class.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Having the freedom to cancel a class and accept the invitation from the students to help them with their play. 

I’m not sure what the teacher in charge really thought about it but she was only there briefly anyway.

The best thing about today was:

Watching my second grade 11 class set to the task that I set them for the final hour of the lesson. They all got to it quickly and would ask me for help and advice when they needed it. 

I guess these kids have matured to the point where they just need pointing in the right direction now.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I ended up leaving school later than normal and sent a message to Amy that I’d be running late and she then reminded me that she was going out for dinner, so that I would have to find my own food. 

This meant spending some of what little money I had left this month. What could I do? I have to eat!

Something I learned today?

The last day the students will come to school is the 27th of September. That’s just four more weeks! Time to wind down!

Whilst helping with the play, I discovered that my old student Achang potentially has OCD. There was a part in the play where he should grab another student’s arm but he was really reluctant to do it. 

I thought that it was a cultural thing or just shyness but the other students told me that he will always go and wash his hands and that he has a problem.

He is also supposed to be acting like a smooth-talking player but is lacking confidence in being able to pull it off.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I spent an extra hour helping with the play and gave them as much as I could, considering that they have to perform it in the next few days. 

They were all very appreciative at the end of the afternoon, though and that made me feel good.

I took this picture of Guitar, Lin and Poppy as they perform this cheerleader routine at the beginning of their play.

Under Some Allegory – 29th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Understanding
Symptoms
Apparent

Under attack
Stirring up trouble
All for a buck

Unseen by most
So obscene when seen
All will not be forgiven

Unbelievable lies proliferate
Social media vacuums
Algorithms of manipulation

Unheard, censored headlines
Smile and be happy
As the world burns around you

Commented here at Mindlovesmisery Menagerie

Today I’m feeling:

Average.  My recent symptoms are sitting there in the background and now I’m just feeling tired.  Phlegm seems to be coming off my chest a little easier now but my lack of energy is begging me to rest or sleep more.

(Evening) During the day I was doing ok but by my last class, I was completely spent and I was glad to get everyone out 30 minutes early.

I’m in bed at 7 pm and will read for a while but I’m not sure how long I will be able to keep my eyes open.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

(Being able to fall asleep before having time to write here!)

The best thing about today was:

Helping Jet and everyone else with their play this afternoon. It was really fun and the kids appreciated my directing them more than their Thai teacher. 

I could see that they were frustrated because they knew there were parts in the play that didn’t make sense but they couldn’t say anything to the teacher about it.

I will try to help them a little more again tomorrow.

I took this picture yesterday because this is the first blue sky for a while, coinciding with our garden being freshly taken care of.

Russian Winter – 28th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

The nesting dolls I keep inside
All are versions of me
The tears spilt alone, I cried
Just so that I could be

Happy to be on my own
Bitterly ostracised
Content just to be alone
Even when criticised

The nesting dolls built belief
It’s only now they start to care
Looking for their own relief
I’m only here because I was there

Inspired by this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

At first, a little better but after getting to school, I just want to sleep. Headache, cough, difficulty breathing, exhausted.

Next, to go and wait at the hospital.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

All the nurses who helped me at the hospital today so that despite having to sit around for a while it was easy to know where to go and what to do.  

One nurse accidentally flashed her soft, smooth, tanned (securely bra-ed) breast as she leaned forward and her uniform gaped a little.  I should have said something to her but opted to look away instead.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a fair bit of book reading in. I’m finally at the last chapter of The Decline of the British Empire, which I’ve been reading since January. I’m looking forward to getting back to some fiction.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Waiting at the hospital – number 260 in the queue.  Thankfully, they were already at the 140 mark and were also randomly putting people through.  The delay for me was more connected with waiting for a doctor who could speak English.  

I spent my time catching up with Substack reads.

Something I learned today?

Having read a lot of SubStack stuff I should have learned something today…hmm… I saw some pretty horrendous pictures of Israeli crimes but sadly, that is nothing new these days. 

I did see some information that Starbucks is losing lots of money due to people boycotting it because of its connections to Israel. 

I took this picture because the little one is on a rope now and can’t get into our scrumptious grass anymore. Here they are with mum, next to the fence where the gardeners had dumped all the cuttings.

Living With A Stranger – 27th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 9 Comments

*Sometimes I feel like I’m living with a stranger
I’m talking to myself
The branches hang down to the stream
A tilt to somewhere else
That I don’t know

Words are gathered and turned to stone
Scratch and blow to see old bones
I don’t know why

We keep it tethered, our world unfeathered
We’re out of step, so don’t forget
To keep your ear to the ground

Returning home to meet the stranger
She’s talking to herself
From scratch, she bakes such lovely cakes
But words are somewhere else
That I don’t know

We tilt until the room is feathered
Or blow until the stone is gathered
I don’t know why

I can see her avalanches turn into sharpened branches
To break her bones, so don’t forget
To keep your head to the ground

*Lifted from Three’s Swann Street as are the rhymes and rhythms. Submitted to No Theme Thursday (the two pictures) and The Sunday Whirl Wordle #669. This poem partially reflects on the time with my second wife, Kyoko and how, eventually, our cultural backgrounds couldn’t be overcome.

Today I’m feeling:

Not quite right. Slept early again and woke up a little later, skipping exercise. 

I want to go to the hospital to get checked out and contemplating whether to do it this afternoon or in the morning.

Health:

Physical: 5
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to leave at lunchtime and come home for a nap and a restful evening.

I decided that I would go to the hospital tomorrow and take a day off but then Amy said I should use the health insurance coverage that I get through work, which means going to the hospital in the city. Then Jet messaged me for help with her accent for her play. 

So I guess I’ll clock in in the morning and then see what they say at the hospital and decide then whether to go to school. I’d like to help Jet and I only have an afternoon class, so I could do it if I don’t feel too bad.

The best thing about today was:

Getting to my first class and finding that only half would be there as the others had to attend a meeting. It made for a much more intimate class with only twelve students and was very enjoyable.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

That half my class was missing today made me wonder how to proceed but I figured the best way was to teach the same lesson to the other half next week and let today’s students have free time, which they weren’t going to complain about.

As I was walking to my second class Iphone told me that their morning meeting was about events next week and that the school was closed! Huh!? Another student, Jee,  confirmed it too.

When Kru Tang went by my class a little later, I asked her and she said that she had only just heard about it from another student as well!

I’m used to this by now. Anyway, Monday to Thursday, we are supposed to be teaching online but we all know that that isn’t going to happen!

Something I learned today?

See above.

Black Hole 19 Again – 26th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 9 Comments

Grim-grey, red-crusted eyes shuck open
A dim day where dirty sheets beckon to stay
A vice-like grip holds firm the thoughts
Let slip to stay trapped in false reports

Thick treacled repetition day by day
Unequalled headache, a pacifier
Deep inside, uncoughable gunk sits
Wait and hide for uncontrollable fits

Thick wet air sinks from dark dead sky
To hang there; infect pock-marked lungs
Ventilate oxygen relief, breathe deep to keep
Concentrate belief to dream continued sleep

Written about my struggles with the remnants of a recent second infection of Covid 19.

2nd Sep 2024 – Submitted to Poets and Storytellers United – letters to our body

Today I’m feeling:

Halfway good. I got up feeling ok and exercise was invigorating but once at school, I felt my energy quickly dwindle. I’m hoping for a good coffee kickstart.

(Later) As I went through the day, I felt pretty good though perhaps having the feeling that my tank was empty. My last classes with the grade 8s were fun if a little chaotic.

I was in a fairly positive mood when I got home but as soon as I got out of the car and into the humid air, I realised that I was running on fumes.

Straight to eat but that didn’t pick me up and I’m showered and ready for bed at 7.30 pm. I still have a lingering headache and cough. I got medicine yesterday for the cough, which seemed to be helping but today the phlegm has just risen up into my throat and made me croaky and squeaky, which had some students laughing at me.

Health:

Physical: 5
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady at Banana who helped me with sorting a refund on the USB-C adaptor that I bought last week, which I didn’t end up needing. It may take a month to get back into my account but that’s fine.

The best thing about today was:

Many students hugging me. I’m not sure why they felt the need but there are a few girls who come and hug me. 

It isn’t a sexual thing in any way, as most of them are openly gay. It feels like a comfort for them and some form of affection that they are not receiving at home.

I’m sure I will likely get in trouble at some point, as Thai adults also seem to see the worst in any form of affection and David was warned about it recently, too.

Something I learned today?

Pavel Durov, the owner of Telegram, a generally uncensored social media messaging platform, has been arrested in France and may face charges leading to up to 20 years in prison.

I took this picture because Nomsen and Namsai insisted, as they were making TikTok videos. They had completed their work and were at least fairly quiet for most of the class.

The Appreciator – 25th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The philocally challenged
Fake connoisseur
Impressed idle aesthete
An aimless flaneur
Claims beautiful perfection
With prudent circumspection

Submitted to AllPoetry.com contest – perfection

Today I’m feeling:

A little more energetic but not much and probably only because there are things that I must do today.

Despite being so tired last night, for some reason I couldn’t sleep and I ended up reading more until 1.30 am or so.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

A slight return of energy and getting out to my room and doing a few things to catch up.

Also, the lady at Neko who explained to me how to use the dryers.

The best thing about today was:

Listening to Nomeansno’s Sex Mad whilst I was getting stuff done in my room. I haven’t listened through a full album for a fair while and it was good to singalong with at various moments.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Today we had planned that we’d do our washing and then take it to the dryers at the laundromat so before coffee time I put everything in the machine. 

As I was enjoying my coffee, the sky was looking dark and forbidding. 

When I got home, I took all the washed clothes out to the car and off to the place at the gas station. Unfortunately, several other folks already had the same idea and I didn’t want to wait, so decided to check out the place near one of the dorms.

There I managed to get straight in and waited for 30 minutes until the clothes were dry (getting some reading in too) and going home.

Then, the sun came out!

Something I learned today?

Ipswich lost to last year’s champions, Manchester City 4-1, though did manage to score first. Fifteen minutes later, though and they had let in three goals!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

As Amy was hungover this morning, I did all the laundry duty today.

I took this picture last week at The Saxophone Bar. Me, Aing and Now – photobombed by a couple of girls behind us too.