“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Inspired by two unrelated quotes from The Smarter Brain newsletter. One from Rich Dad Poor Dad, the other from Blake.
Submitted to No Theme Thursday picture prompt
Today I’m feeling:
Tired but positive.
Cap woke me up three times during the night, to let him in and out of the bedroom. Another time I needed to pee and then the birds started singing and my alarm zapped me up.
I contemplated snoozing but pushed through and struggled on with my intermediate abs exercises. I felt good about that and the cold shower but then as I was listening to my students doing pairs reading I found myself tired.
Fortunately, they were all called off for the second period to practice for the ceremony on Thursday to wish farewell to the grade 9 and grade 12 kids, giving me an extra hour free today!
Today I’m grateful for:
Max from Ad Interim contacting me again to see if I would like to help with their second album.
I’ll give it a listen first but have no issues working with them again as they paid back their first album loan within six months of receiving their records.
I’m extremely grateful to be asked to help them again.
The best thing about today was:
Nong Freya being the only student who came to my class today and still wanting to be taught.
I guessed that the class were practicing for the ceremony on Thursday and as she is somewhat excluded socially in her class I’m guessing either no one told her to be doing that or that she chose to come to class instead. Either way, if she wants to study then I will teach!
Being just one-on-one makes for a lot of clarity and ideas to be shared. I was able to see how she worked and thought about things (we were just doing a simple gap-fill exercise) and I also got to hear how well she can read, something which I don’t often get a chance to do in normal class time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As described here, there were a few surprises thrown at me today and I handled them pretty well.
Something I learned today?
You can hear a blue whale’s heartbeat from over 2 miles away. Their hearts weigh roughly 180kg.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I replaced the light bulbs in the garage and at the front of the house today.
I helped Amy by carrying some ceramic pots to where she wanted them in the garden.
I got pens for two of my forgetful students this afternoon, whereas normally I would deduct points from them.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 25. Take Action. Don’t just sit there, do something. Without action, there is no outcome.
I have followed this mostly, sometimes out of spite or contrariness, proving that I can do something, either to myself or to others and other times out of a desire to inspire; if I can do it then anyone can.
All the action has amounted to me being here, where I am in the world. Generally happy and satisfied.
inspired and choice words borrowed from this post at Spinning Visions
Today I’m feeling:
Happy and positive. I’ve been waking up a little before my alarm more often recently almost as if my body is looking forward to the day. That’s a good feeling.
Today I’m grateful for:
My student Tee, who helped fix other students’ access to use their camera and microphone on their phones so that they could complete the Quiz I asked them to do. Most of the kids’ phones are in Thai so it was difficult for me to help but once I saw he fixed it himself on his phone I recruited him to show others in the class too.
The best thing about today was:
I’m struggling to find a specific thing as the whole day was just pretty damn great!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The three annoying boys in my first class today were better than usual but their bravado upsets me. They think that they are great because they finish quickly but then get upset when I have to tell them they got something wrong and to try again. Today they complied fairly well and showed me a little more respect than normal but after the class was finished found all their empty water bottles scattered over the floor. As I was in a reasonably cheerful mood I cleaned up after them but not before taking a photo and sending it to their homeroom teacher.
A few minutes later I was talking to students in another classroom and the boys turned up trying to get my attention and then dramatically apologising. Though I wasn’t that bothered I felt like they lacked sincerity and pretended to be upset and ignored them and brushed them away. I don’t know if they will learn from this or not.
Something I learned today?
I learned today that it is difficult to teach my students to be specific when answering this very question. They confuse doing with learning, saying things like ‘I learned English ’and I had to tell them to be more specific. Even then when they said they studied modal verbs I asked them about that and they couldn’t really say what they learned. I also had to help them understand that they did not just learn things in school but they are learning from each other all the time. For a ‘thinking school’ sometimes it is difficult to get them to actually do that!
How did I put my words into action?
Last week I found out that Funfai plays tennis every day after school for two hours. She asked me if I would come and play with her.
She’s not my student but we remember each other from four years ago in Primary. She was always friendly and curious and wanted to talk. Now when she sees me around school she comes and stands nearby until I see her. She’s too polite to come and interrupt me, especially if I’m talking to other students.
I’m not sure why she likes me or wants me to play tennis with her.
Anyway, I told her I’d try and come and watch her after school one day, knowing that usually I can’t wait to get home and relax but committing to it made me feel like I shouldn’t let her down, even though she is so respectful that she wouldn’t be bothered.
Going to school this morning with my mind set to do this today, I figured that my last class would finish a little early and I could go and get some food in the city for dinner first.
A small delicious vegan plate at Oasis quelled my hunger and I got to the tennis courts on time and I chatted with Funfai for a few minutes before her coach arrived.
Incidentally one of the other coaches there recognised me from teaching at Anuban a few years ago though I didn’t remember him. He was a teacher there but quit to do coaching.
Funfai and I both felt happy that I had kept my word to come and watch her and she immediately asked me again to play. I had no sports clothes with me but thought about it a little and decided I could easily do it on Friday for 30 minutes before her training starts.
I pinky-promised her though again she said that it was ok if I changed my mind.
I want to prove to myself that I do put my words into action in this way.
How does my body feel right now?
Healthy and fitter. I still have a slight lower back ache, probably from too much lying down at the weekends and my left big toe doesn’t seem to be getting any better but is bearable. The various aching muscles from working out and all improving every day with faster recovery times. I’m keen to keep my exercise routine going as it also aids my mental health.
Busy day ahead but ready for it. Slept in the same position most of the night – must be tired out. Slept deep and well though – feel good – full workout this morning, proud of myself.
I do a lot – sometimes too much but the thing is that ‘I do’. Do something.
Gratitude Journal
I’m so happy and grateful for my deep sleep last night. I feel good.
To-do list
School on Friday was busy and rewarding. I had to take time out to talk to one student, Aon, because he was disturbing other students. He’s a good kid, pretty smart, but he can’t stop talking. After several warnings, I asked him to leave. He didn’t want to and I told him that’s OK if he’s not interested in my lesson but there are other students who are and he is stopping them from learning.
It was nice to see that everyone picked up on the gravity of this little time out. The rest of the class was fun.
Saturday afternoon Amy and I went to Mae Sai. I could feel that Amy wasn’t quite her usual happy self – but unhappy but a little sharp and direct in her conversation. She was happy again as we arrived at the market and quickly got to shopping and headed off to Chiang Saen for pizza. It was starting to get dark and I had a splitting headache.
At one point I went the wrong way and Amy got a little upset because I stopped and looked at Google Maps because I wanted to understand exactly where we were. She was right and I turned round and went in the right direction. The conversation died as I struggled to see the road but I wasn’t going to let Amy’s bad feelings affect me. I enjoyed listening to music and drove a little slower because I wanted to hear more.
Amy warmed up a little by the time we got home but I think by then we were both worn out and went to bed and to sleep. I was happy with the way I handled the situation and didn’t escalate any bad feelings. After all, it was only a slight issue. I think we understand each other well and we know our own, and each other’s, faults and behaviours very well.
Some might feel that our relationship is boring and stale but I think we are happy and understanding. I love this relationship so much.
Today (Sunday) I was happy to record two podcasts and sort out all sorts of little bits and pieces in my room. I’ll have to sort out those little annoying ants in there soon.
My days feel full but mostly without stress. I have lots of things I want to do but know I could drop dead tomorrow – really there’s no rush. It’s pretty insignificant in the scheme of things. I’m just happy to do what I’m doing whether it is interesting or not. I’m happy with this attitude.
I am so happy and grateful to have so many options available to keep me entertained.
What we believe means nothing. How we act is what it’s all about.
Eckhart Tolle
To-do list
Well, doing Just Dance in the morning definitely had a positive effect, made Amy laugh and gave us some exercise. It was a good start to the day. We’ll do it again tomorrow.
I spent most of the day in my room whilst Amy was happily drinking inside – she got the dancing mood later in the evening but then got a little teary as she was thinking about our cats, 2 of whom are approaching the end of their lives. We really love them and it will be sad when they go. But we can go at any time.
I’m feeling more in control of my emotions currently, perhaps because I’m not surrounded by the gossip and chatter at school. It’s very tempting just to quit doing it but I feel I should just keep pushing myself and improve myself. I can’t keep making the same mistakes and expect things to change.
What is something you would love to learn?
I really want to learn to meditate in an effort to calm my mind. My mind is no longer busy with negative thoughts but quite often with useless thoughts. I just want to calm those down if I can.
I also want to learn to practice the things I have been reading about and put them into action. This is far more difficult than expected and I’m hoping that just by continually being exposed to them that it will rub off on my day-to-day actions.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to manage myself and my time and be adaptable to sudden changes. Today I got given an extra class which could have been annoying but it was perfect as it is for a class I will miss on Friday so having to do the class now means those kids won’t be behind.
From commonplace book
Without knowledge of what I am and why I am here, it is impossible to live.
Levin, Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy, pg 908
To-do list
I caught myself a couple of times and chose to stop talking and let the other person speak. At the meeting yesterday I was pleased that Boyan chose to want me to work with. He’s not an easy person to make an impression on so i felt a little flattered that he felt I was OK enough to work with. He came primed with an idea in the morning and by the end of the day we had it all fleshed out and ready to go.
I spent a good bit of time writing out why I’m grateful for the school. That was tough but I managed to fill a whole (small) page.
Ran out of time for exam questions but have everything else for the semester completed now. I also picked up the grade 6 books and have challenged myself to write a week’s worth of lessons from those (at least). Even if I don’t end up teaching that next semester it is still good to keep planning.
In the morning I got given an extra class which became quite fortunate as it meant I could complete the full week of regular English classes which wouldn’t have happened as planned as I’ll be away on Friday. This potential negative turned out to be very helpful and I handled it well. The students were really happy to see me too which made me feel good.
My general negative thoughts from yesterday have all disappeared today and I have noticed myself being more comfortable around the kids again. In some ways, not being able to hug or touch them has created a little distance which has made me care a little less about them. Maybe by care less, I mean more detached. This is probably a good thing for now.
Today I also wrote a little more to Lachlan and received audio files back from Jochen – it was nice to hear his voice again. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to edit it all yet but I’m looking forward to the challenge.
Just by chance, as I was reading Anna Karenina a perfect passage stuck out to me and became my first entry in my commonplace book (see above).
Tomorrow we have some sort of Buddhist ceremony event and I’m not sure what we are required to do and if it involves doing some sort of ritual thing. I’m undecided about whether to refuse or not. I asked George about this a couple of weeks ago and he said he would just do it – who cares? I read today to copy the actions of people you respect so thinking that that’s what I will do.
I also hope to clear out a bunch of emails that I’ve had sitting around. They are not important but challenges that may take a little time to do – I’ll see if I can print them out and do them that way.
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