Tag: affluenza

I Like To Move It – 7th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Our minds never stopped moving
When difficult roads need smoothing
What does not move is dead
Is what the greatest thinkers said
Let’s move ourselves to improving

inspired by Robert Greene’s Daily Laws and quoting Aristotle

Today I’m feeling:

Strangely filled with love and goodness. I was happy to wake up and exercise, feed our cats and whilst driving to work listen to a podcast about the Clash’s Sandinista album which reminded me how much I like that record.

Then I bumped into Paul at school who had just had a heart operation last week and was back at school already and though he looks about 60 he’s actually younger than me.

I met a few students and we made each other laugh, before getting in the car to go for coffee and listening to the Bangkok Podcast about an Englishman who went across land from the UK to Thailand via lots of other places.

Everything this morning just seemed interesting and worth knowing. I want to feel like this more.

Today I’m grateful for:

My little MacBook Air that I was able to quickly install Yousician and Capo so that I could bash around on the guitar again.

My iMac won’t even get to a login screen at the moment. I live in the vain hope of it starting again after a few days rest. But I fear machines are not humans.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a few lessons organised for next semester whilst sitting in the classroom with the few kids who came to sit there. They amused themselves with the usual things on their phones but I was happy to see one group of four who asked me to move as they were making a movie.

It was enjoyable to watch them acting especially when I asked them to do it in English and they made fun, imitating me, acting like I do in class.

I also had another really enjoyable talk with Hayden that made me think about going to visit him perhaps in April next year. He seems to be finding his feet in the world. Slowly we all work ourselves out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There was no yoghurt at Makro! Oh no, disaster. My mind swirled around, what if they never get it again? I’ll have to change my diet. Well, let’s see. I dropped into Big C and got a couple of medium-sized pots but they may only last a couple of days. Yoghurt with muesli is a super easy and fast breakfast for me though. I hope Makro gets it back in stock again.

Something I learned today?

Whilst reading Affluenza, it suggests analysing your childhood deeply to understand more about your behaviour when it comes to wanting things. This made me think that I don’t really think I have finished my childhood yet! Perhaps what I’ve been doing these last few years has been my own self-analysis and along the way I have ‘cured’ myself a lot of wanting bigger, better and more.

However, I do find myself contemplating buying a nice new computer. As the book suggests though, I have to ask myself ‘do I really need it?’ My old computer has served me well for these last 10 years and I look at buying another to last me that long too. In its time it has allowed me to explore many different things with its advanced capabilities. Perhaps now though I am more settled on what I want my computer to be able to do so I don’t necessarily need something that is so overpowered and costly.

Oh, anyway, I’ve switched topics here. The point is that I still feel like I’m in my childhood. I don’t have the sense of awe and wonder in the same way as a child but I think I do have the open mind to most facets of life and living. That could also be down to just being in the right place, mentally and physically, these days. I will keep working things out. It will be a shame to reach a point where I feel that everything is worked out, that may be the end of my childhood phase.

What decisions have I made recently that make me proud?

Today I decided that I won’t buy any more ice cream from LungChom to eat with strawberries and yoghurt. It’s just too delicious but fattening! Even just writing this is making my mouth water and I’m considering changing my mind already! No! This is a decision that I will be proud of.

I took this picture because all baby animals are cute, whether human, bovine or something else; though perhaps unsure about fish.

Weil, Weil, Weil – 28th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s a moral obligation to provide
The more power, the more the obligation
Punish those with their authority
Cheating at a higher level of corruption

Yet these moral rules never applied
As they’d level the field for all to play
Perhaps we do not have moral principles
As Simone was want to say

inspired by an Existential Comics page about Simone Weil

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and dizzy, swaying between depression and happiness

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s mum and dad again, bringing me food and watering the garden when I had no enthusiasm for cooking/eating or any kind of effort. I need to water daily now as the ground is getting so parched but I haven’t had the energy for 3 or 4 days.

The best thing about today was:

Reading a lot – it was the only thing that felt satisfying. I played guitar for a while but got frustrated easily. I almost finished updating one book of writing into the blog and started preparing my old poems and lyrics so that felt like I achieved something today. For the afternoon I savoured a few more Anton Chekov short stories, a couple of chapters of Affluenza and a couple of issues of Touch and Go. I was reading to get inspiration to write some poems but my brain is still muddled from medicines though I did finally manage to squeeze out four lines.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I video-called with Amy a couple of times during the day. She had been out drinking with her flatmate and was in a happy mood. Unfortunately, I wasn’t but I told myself that I was happy to see her so happy and she did look attractive to me with her big laugh and bright eyes.

Something I learned today?

Through reading today I must have learned lots of things but perhaps they are not particularly significant as they reinforce things that I already know or believe.

What am I looking forward to in the coming year?

This is not something I’ve really thought about. I expect this year to be similar to last and that would be fine for me, I really enjoyed last year. I do look forward to Amy coming back and trying her hand at running a business here and that would entail some changes with the house and that would be an exciting development. But if that doesn’t happen I know everything will still be fine.

I took this picture because this weird plant that seems to grow easily around our cactuses (it may even be a cactus) sported some flowers I found today. The root of the plant grows at crazy angles, sometimes even turning a full 180. I’ve stuck them against some fencing to hopefully encourage them to go straight for a while!

Give Me The Shot – 25th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A rose-tinted bubble of positive illusions
Given by all as if a truth foretold
Could not prepare anyone for all the confusions
Reality brings forth as contradictions take hold

the first line is taken from Affluenza by Oliver James and the title relates to the vaccines offered for the virus of affluenza

Today I’m feeling:

Sick with a head cold. I had felt it coming on for the last couple of days but couldn’t fight it off anymore.

Today I’m grateful for:

There not being any real need for me to be at school as it is still sports day. I’m glad I could sleep in and rest more.

The best thing about today was:

A three-hour afternoon nap, knocked out by medicine for a runny nose and cough. I hope it knocks me out again tonight.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My cough is out of my control and made worse by the pain in my ribs. I think I will go to the hospital on Saturday just to get them checked.

Something I learned today?

I learned a little about the gell-mann amnesia effect which relates to confirmation bias when it comes to reading media ‘news’.

What new creative project or hobby would I like to start this year?

The one I wanted to start last year of making music in Ableton. I’m so tied up with getting my past into the blog that I don’t feel compelled to spend time on it yet though. Anyway, I’m happy either way.

I took this picture because it was hard to miss this monster on our terrace. Amy would’ve screamed if she’d seen it. She gets a very bad rash from even the hairs of these floating in the air.