Tag: afternoon nap

The Captain’s Heart – 16th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

In the desire to impose order and ritual
Where do you find yourself at end of the day?
Ahead lies the veiled valley
To walk in the everyday world
With promise, a heart full of hope
To be humbled by the universe

Receiving truth in fragments – parts
Colliding, collapsing, pulling & pushing as if
They change every night and pull you along with them
Its dark edges are still dissolving
The captain’s heart, a compass true and fierce
Brings souls together

A cento – 12 lines from 12 other poems. Each line is linked back to the original full poem.

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired this morning with aching eyes again. But it was get up and go time as we took our car to get the windscreen repaired and new tinting, which means that we’ll be out all day too.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The Honda showroom having a really nice seating area with free coffee and muffins. I sat there whilst Amy’s mum was looking at new cars.

I personally don’t think she needs to buy one but if she does, there’s a chance that I will end up with her current one.

The best thing about today was:

Getting our windscreen fixed. It’s been cracked for about three years now! Amy also wanted all the windows tinted darker, which ended up costing almost three times as much as the windscreen.

Apparently, it will keep the car cooler but I could see that it made it much more difficult to see other cars at twilight when I was driving home.

Amy also wants to get all the dings and scratches fixed up but that will have to wait until next month.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I succumbed to another afternoon nap today and really wish I hadn’t, as I woke up again feeling tired and a little grumpy. I need to plan my day so that I’m doing something in the afternoons and not get tempted to nod off.

Something I learned today?

I saw that I had a missed call from Hayden, so I called him back and asked him where he was and what he was up to and he replied, ‘Changi’. I wasn’t sure that I heard him properly but he confirmed that he was in Singapore on his way to play a show in Germany and travel around Europe a bit to meet his friends.

Well good for him, I hope that he has a great time.

He will start his new job when he gets back and probably have to pay off some credit card debt too, I’m guessing.

I took this picture because this is Amy and her first love….. alcohol.
Fatman report

Please – 24th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Do you want to discover who you are
Or do you want someone else to tell you?
What is it gonna be?

Submitted to Weekend Writing Prompt #382 – Please (22 words)

My name in LandSat – just for a little fun:

Today I’m feeling:

Well slept and pretty good on waking. Not quite enough to get up a little earlier and do some exercise but at least I’m feeling better.

I got to school and because it has been raining, the kids aren’t out doing any more cleaning just yet. Much of the mud is clear now anyway.

We got advised to just send work in LINE to our classes, which essentially means that I could go back home but I’m at 22 Grams for now. I’ve set the kids some work to send me and so I’m back to catching up on reading and writing some more.

(Later) I got a little screen blind sitting, looking at my laptop all morning, so I headed home and did a little shopping.

When I got home, though, I couldn’t resist a little snooze after reading a little of David Foster Wallace’s Consider the Lobster. There was a big dark rain keeping things cool and I managed to snooze with just the window open.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Receiving an email from Jake back in Australia, replying to an order he placed with me back in April!

He seems to be doing ok though, still dealing with some anxiety issues with certain people. I told him I still have my ups and downs, too.

The best thing about today was:

Discovering that we would have classes (of a sort) today, though we could just ‘phone them in’, allowing me to sit in the cafe and do my stuff.

It wasn’t as uplifting as yesterday and I think, as I’m caught up on a fair bit of reading and writing, I should switch to doing some more lesson planning for next semester.

I miss the chairs and tables at House that I have grown accustomed to, though. I’m not so comfortable at 22 Grams. I should also check out a different space or two tomorrow. Want to get that flow back again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Out of the blue, KhaoTang called up Amy about having trouble with some class work at her school.

She was typically over the top, saying that she’s gonna die and it took a while for Amy to calm her down. KT has some kind of disorder from being smart and overweight and getting bullied when she was younger.

It was odd though, as we haven’t really talked with her often since early 2022 when Amy went off to Australia and we stepped back a bit from her and her mum as they brought too much drama to our quiet lives.

Amy got a little wound up by this latest drama but decided to help, which also involved me having to help.

It’s actually a typical Thai teacher situation that has created the problem for KhaoTang and once we got more information from her, we could understand more about how to help.

We asked her to redo her work again, now that she clearly understood the requirement and will check in on it tomorrow.

We like to help students and already have a kind of relationship with KT but she still exhibits a great lack of social skills that I’m pretty sure come from her upbringing (I don’t want to blame her mum completely).

It’s not uncommon here in Thailand either, as I have come across similar situations at my school too.

Something I learned today?

I read a lot, the info went into the brain and there it seems to be stuck. I guess there was nothing of particular significance today but hopefully that nugget of wisdom rattling around will find good use at some point.

I took this picture because this little cutie was chilling on top of a car outside 22 Grams.

Imagine – 7th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

In my head
I lost my mind
Imagining red
Colourblind

Absent a shadow
No friend follows
A poisoned arrow
No more tomorrows

No peace of mind
Imagined I
None could find
Or satisfy

Coming back
To my senses
None so black
Beat my defences

Submitted to dVerse

Today I’m feeling:

A little sick with a sore throat and lack of energy.  I skipped my alarm and exercise for an extra 30 minutes of sleep.  I’m hoping not to have to do too much at school today.  I could do with an afternoon nap and I’m saying that now before it’s even 8 am.

(10 am) And there we are, the tipping point.  Lazily wandering from place to place and eventually being told there’s nothing for us to do today.  So here I am back at House for coffee number two.

Today I’m grateful for:

Lots of free time in which I could read, write and learn whilst sipping coffee and then later spending a couple of hours reading comics in bed, where I did indeed, enjoy an awesome afternoon nap.

The best thing about today was:

Hanging out with Michael and David for a little while this morning and then lazily walking from school to where some of the kids were doing the zip-line and we watched for a few minutes, ducked away and walked back again.  The temperature was ok for the most part and once off the highway, the walk was quite pleasant.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The typical dysfunction of Scout week activities at school used to bug me but now I listened to how they bugged David instead and accepted the advantages that we can get from it.

Something I learned today?

Andrew Huberman is into Rancid.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  13. Be Nice. I don’t mean you should be a pushover. You can be someone that doesn’t take shit and be nice about it. Just don’t insult people, think you’re better than them, or act like an idiot.

I’m a lot nicer than I used to be.  I don’t insult people or think that I am better than others anymore but I probably am still prone to acting like an idiot every now and then.  One would hope that we are all a lot nicer than we used to be but then you meet some people…..

I took this picture because these flowers have decided to grow, against the odds.

The Legend – 27th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Always the winner, always on top
The sun shines from their behind
If outsiders looking in would ever stop
The legend would be hard to find

Because they suffered just like us
Made many mistakes along the road
But when life threw them under the bus
Determination is what they showed

So the legend came to be on the lips
Of those who needed inspiration
And everybody followed the tips
For the legends in preparation

Today I’m feeling:

Slooooow to go. Turned off my alarm when it went off and enjoyed a delirious sleep, probably aided by a couple of drops of cannabutter last night which also made me enjoy some guitaring that flew by in a couple of hours. My thought to exercise a little on waking at the weekend didn’t come to fruition but I guess I have to listen to my body sometimes.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nick at Utopia for not only giving me credit today (run out of money!) but making me two fantastic coffees with perfect texture for me.

The best thing about today was:

Despite just wanting to stay home all day when Amy suggested going to Oshinei for lunch I initially said no but quickly changed my mind and I’m glad we got out and enjoyed some food at a two-for-one discount.  I was still tired and not really thinking about anything much but just enjoying the moment.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After lunch I tried to resist the afternoon nap for as long as I could by reading, finishing the first chapter of the Decline and Fall of the British Empire and then a couple of comics before finally giving in and accepting my fate.  It was an enjoyable nap though.

I took this picture because Cap was sitting on the cushion by the bookshelves when I got home yesterday, though he got up as soon as I laid down to take pictures.

Le Guin’s Law – 16th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What is it I’ve lost?
I really wish I knew
Forever counting cost
The dreams that withdrew

Always filled with hunger
Came the realisation
When I was younger
I stunted imagination

Though I roll in riches

On stock market gambles

I can’t scratch the itches
That fantasy unscrambles

Today I’m feeling:

Good to go in the morning but after lunch I flaked into a long afternoon nap from which I didn’t feel very inspired by.

Today I’m grateful for:

Paul Merton, an English comedian who I have enjoyed since the 80s. I loved his absurd humour in his TV series and now he is still on the long-running show Have I Got News For You where his very English wit still resonates with me. I can still enjoy the show whilst not having any real idea of what’s going on in the UK these days.

The best thing about today was:

Morning coffee and reading some more Wuthering Heights, followed by some pleasant (forgotten) dreams during nap time.

Something I learned today?

This app (Day One) offers a book service and it looks awesome. It would be better for me if WordPress did something like that though as that has more content. Still I reckon I might get a couple printed up for Hayden and Amy.

12th Mar 2024 – I’ve since discovered that there are services that print out WordPress sites and I will try and get one done for 2023 when I finally have finished updating it, which may still take another year yet!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I bought a T-shirt from Utopia, not because I need one but just to support them. I think Utopia T-shirts are one of the most popular shirts in our area.

What songs were the soundtrack for this year?

I decided to try answering this question knowing that this year is part on an ever decreasing tendency of listening to music. 

Without there being a specific artist I would say the two things that I have heard the most are the songs that I bash along to on guitar and the Jazzcore podcast that I listen to about once a month for an hour or so, usually when I’m napping.

Which particular small thing that your partner does irritates you the most?

I’ve been mulling this over for the day and there may be many possibilities to mention but ultimately at the end of the day anything that irritates me is a choice that I’ve made.

And this is what I will keep telling myself every time I feel that way.

I took this picture because the hairdresser’s kitty reminds me so much of Kim. A happy friendly tiny little ginger cat.

Fatman report

490 Sins – 30th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A sermon for every sin
A sin for every hour
And all the dreams later
Wishes to enter this tower

Just one more sin, one more sin
This sermon the last
Begging to be let in
From the long nights past

inspired by Chapter 4(?) of Wuthering Heights

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good in the morning and Amy and I had a nice lunch at Nut and Bruno’s. We came back and had a nap but I felt not quite right after that and now I just feel like doing nothing. I’m in bed at 6.30 already.

Today I’m grateful for:

My grade 7 student messaging me saying that he wants to talk about his mental health problems. I will meet him tomorrow. I’m glad he is self-aware enough to reach out.

The best thing about today was:

My grade 8 students coming to help or just watch my grade 7s with their reading.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Run out of enthusiasm and my stomach is feeling a little wobbly. Hope to sleep early tonight.

I took this picture because I was surprised to see this reference to the Sex Pistols Bill Grundy interview on a student’s jumper! No one had really looked at it until I pointed it but when they did they knew that fuck was a bad word.

Dull Drone – 25th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Imagination once so bright
Turned toys into tigers
Battered to death with culture
That no longer inspires us

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and needing that Saturday morning sleep-in catch-up. Still stuck with this dry cough. My weight this morning is down to 78.45kg because of not eating much yesterday and no doubt contributing to my tiredness.

Today I’m grateful for:

Noey at Utopia changing my water to be room temperature instead of with ice after she noticed I was coughing a lot.

The best thing about today was:

A little evening ride around to check out new advancements in our little municipality.

Lots of new things going on and we ended up checking out a shop that we have been past many times where there are just a bunch of bean bags on a lawn with no cover. It stands out a little because the shop will have to close whenever it rains.

They serve some really simple food and speciality sodas. It’s a nice environment to chill out and is pretty popular now that things are back to normal after Covid.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Much of the day felt out of my control today but none of it was in a way that bothered me. Some days are easy to accept.

Tomorrow though there are things I want to do and I will push the time in that direction.

Something I learned today?

Hayden’s girlfriend Vashti will move in with him soon. They will have separate rooms so that they can get away from each other somewhat if necessary, which I don’t think is a bad idea. 

I realise that it was at the age that he is at now when I moved to Australia.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As usual I let Noey make my coffee at Utopia and despite it not being quite hot enough, it still tasted fine. I’m happy to let her improve her skills and be her taste tester.

After an afternoon snooze I was looking forward to going out to my room and playing guitar. Amy said ‘lets go for a ride’. Ok, I thought. It won’t be long before the sun goes down so there’s still plenty of time.

As we were riding around though Amy was looking for places to eat dinner. So even though it was now apparent that I wouldn’t be home soon, I happily rode us from here to there until finding a place to eat.

How do I practice patience and perseverance?

Well, as a quote-unquote ‘teacher’ this is an easy question to answer. I was fairly well practiced in patience before but even I have noticed that I have become far more patient these days.

As to perseverance I do remember as a child and teenager giving up way too easily whenever I found things too difficult. Somehow, possibly aligned with starting work, that changed. I started to enjoy working hard and to see a job completed, even if not always well done.

I believe I learned these traits from my mother who was always working and trying things. I’m grateful for that. Thanks mum.

I took this picture because this was the view from my beanbag at the restaurant this evening.

Red Wine – 4th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Though I am
I used to be
Never felt strange
But do agree

a simple man
a different me
accepting change
that I must be

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but happy and positive. I got another couple of lessons completed this morning and happy with how they turned out. I’d hoped to get to Daytripper to do more but after a quick shop, I got home all sweaty and jumped into the shower and didn’t feel like putting clothes on to venture outside again.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lack of traffic in the morning meant I didn’t need to rush too much to clock in at school.

The best thing about today was:

See the attached picture.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I gave in to nap time though I think it was only for about forty minutes. I listened to the Jazzcore podcast so it was a pretty wild aural assault into my dreams. I woke up drooling.

Something I learned today?

Funfai messaged me to say she saw me at school this morning and when I asked her why she was there she said she was playing tennis again. She said she will go again on Friday so I will pack some clothes and perhaps have a chance to have a hit with her too.

What are my top priorities for the day?

Now I’m at the end of the day but I know the main priority was having organised to meet my old students and treat them to lunch. As they were also Bruno’s old students I thought it would be a nice surprise for all of them to catch up. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be difficult for the kids and if they would flake out but they made it and also in good time.

Quote: Humility cannot exist without love, and love cannot exist without humility – Saint Theresa of Avila

I always subscribed to the notion that you must love yourself before you can let be anyone else (though it took me about 40 years to actually put it into practice). Once you’ve understood how to love yourself you learn to put others first and you no longer need to seek their approval or play any kind of game with them. You can be humble before them.

Nut took this picture because I had planned a surprise for Bruno and our old students, Porpieng, Momo and Baitong to catch up together today. It’s been six months since I saw Popo and BT as they switched schools and I rarely see Momo as she switched to the Japanese program. For Bruno, he hasn’t seen them for more than five years! I’d tried organising them meeting a few times before but it never worked out. I think everyone was happily surprised to see each other again.

Making Happy – 16th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Here lies the glory days
The laughter, love and pains
Stashed ragged in a box
A jumbled collection of remains

Dried disintegrated flowers
Scattered at the grave of who I’ve been
Now forever falling forward
Towards whatever I wish to dream

Once I came back to visit
But couldn’t force myself to stay
The memories are happier now
And I’d like to keep them that way

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Tired from a long reasonable sleep. My body is aching from all the exercise this week so I’ll happily give it a little break. No plans in particular for today though I might watch the AFL replays as they should be good games. I’ll get some reading in today as I skipped it a lot this week, running out of time and energy. I need to pick up the guitar too. Suddenly I’m filling a relaxing day but at least there’s no real stress right now.

Today I’m grateful for:

A dreamy afternoon nap, spacing in and out of the jazz core podcast. Is that weird? I remember one time as a teenager Jez came around and he couldn’t believe I was sleeping and listening to Crass’s Yes Sir, I Will album cranked up and to be fair I wasn’t in a deep sleep but spacing in and out. I guess I’m well-practiced.

The best thing about today was:

Drinking late morning coffees and getting a super buzz off them. I contemplated a third but managed to restrain myself. I wish I could drink endless coffees without getting so jacked up on them.

What is it that makes you a weirdo in your space?

To answer this I might have to figure out what ‘my space’ means. In fact, I might be considered a weirdo in any space these days. But I’m projecting that onto other people. I don’t think of myself as weird at all.

My space as a teacher: not just as a teacher but as a teacher in Thailand. By being a foreigner, that immediately makes me an anomaly. We are treated differently by other teachers and students alike.

My style of interaction with the teachers is relatively normal but I am one of only two teachers I ever see engaging with kids outside of class. This could also contribute to how the students treat me differently too. 

They don’t show the same respect but they are more interactive at least. I don’t see myself as being on some kind of untouchable pedestal that this status could afford. I’d rather connect on a more friendly level. That means also having to deal with all their emotional ups and downs and behavioural issues as they are navigating their teenage growth. 

What the Thai teachers think about my style of interaction with the students I have no idea or particular interest. I’m doing the best I can with the little skills I have and if it improves my student’s lives in any way then I consider what I’m doing to be positive.

My space as a music supporter: as demonstrated with tenzenmen I have a broad range of musical interests and whilst this makes for an unsuccessful business model I don’t wish to be defined within a limited genre because that’s just boring to me. Some people get it. 

As a person that was in the middle of a ‘scene’ in Sydney, I was also, somewhat purposefully, separate from the other people involved. In many ways, I just didn’t want to deal with all the personal bullshit going on in their lives or share any of mine. Our interactions were intentionally just involving music and getting that out there. I felt that about 80% of the people were my friends whom I could trust if I ever needed but always managed to keep myself in a situation where that need would never arise. This didn’t make me close friends in their eyes but it did for me.

My space as Amy’s partner: Amy may consider me a weirdo in many ways but she understands my aesthetic and ideals whether she understands my interests or not. 

For other people outside our relationship, I don’t really know what they might think about me as an individual but they are often confused about our relationship. For Amy and I, it is not confusing at all.

Many of her friends do not understand how we can trust each other and maintain our relationship when we are not together but that is hardly a statement on us and says more about them.

My space as a father to Hayden: I guess I’m not particularly weird in this space. I have never been much of a hands-on controlling kind of father and therefore have not been particularly stressed about his growing pains and even when it has been frustrating to watch him make mistakes I have always trusted that he will find his way in the end and slowly he seems to be doing that. I may be wrong but I feel many fathers deal with their sons in the same way.

There are other spaces I fill too but these feel like the main.

What would make today great?

Well, the day is almost done and it was a standard good day without anything particularly great occurring. It was great that the rain that threatened all day managed to hold off until I had brought the washing in. Small wins.

Noey took this picture because I got up late and Utopia were wondering where I was. That’s nice to be appreciated as a customer or even as a friend.
Fatman report

Desserts – 5th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Making pain beautiful
A fetish the mirror reflects
Aestheticised agony
The image that projects

Decorated with poetry
And kept like a secret
It’s cool and mysterious
And you get to keep it

Please fall in love and fix
Worthy of attention
Look at the beautiful mess
Deserving of affection

inspired by musings at Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Although I wanted to enjoy sleeping longer I got up and out for coffee. Amy had called during the night, though I couldn’t quite get what was happening. She was at the nightclub and I knew she could take care of herself. She hadn’t made it home but ended up calling and was staying at Aor’s house after some mini escapades. All was well though. Still feeling positive after yesterday.

Today I’m grateful for:

Sichuan hotspot. A new Chinese hotspot shop opened in Bandu so we gave it a go and filled our bellies with delicious burning chilli and peppers. I may be less grateful if I suddenly have to rush to the bathroom during the night. My stomach feels like that may be a possibility.

The best thing about today was:

Reading more of the SNFU book whilst drinking my coffees at Utopia. I’m really enjoying it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Tiredness caught up with me for an afternoon nap that I was really reluctant to get up from. I felt like I could just keep sleeping until tomorrow. I will go back to bed soon too, for a stretch of comic book reading first but I will look forward to my sleep and my dreams.

Something I learned today?

Mega Home doesn’t stop fabric spray like Febreeze or the better heavy-duty version I found at Home Pro before.

I took this picture because there was nothing particularly exciting today except for our early spicy dinner.