Tag: air pollution

Day In Court – 5th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 13 Comments

Mother, I’m not like you
I’m not wise to your ways
I’m barely a teen
And can see through your plays

Is it better raised like this
Or for you to be taken away?
When you are gone
Where do you expect me to stay?

When Dad died we fought hard
To make our way together
Until you saw the glitter of gold
That turned out to be old leather

Uncle tried a little bit but can’t even manage himself!
He just takes ALL the money, I don’t know where
ALL I’ve got is INSTANT NOODLES for the rest of the MONTH!
Mother don’t leave me here, I know you still care…

A STRANGER came to me today and SPUN A GREAT STORY OF FORTUNE
I didn’t know whether to BELIEVE HIM BUT I’VE NO ONE ELSE TO TRUST!
I ALWAYS TRIED TO DO WHAT’S RIGHT BUT LOOK WHERE THAT HAS GOTTEN ME!?
WITH NOWHERE ELSE TO GO I’LL HAVE TO DO AS NEEDS MUST – Sigh!

…

Mother, I don’t want to be like you
I don’t want to be wise to those ways
I’m still a vulnerable child at heart
But I’ll hold on to anything that stays

Sadly, a situation facing one of my best and favourite students right now, though I have taken the poem where I hope it doesn’t end up for her. Submitted to the Word of the Day Challenge – Vulnerability and NaPoMo.

3rd June 2024 – Submitted to Reena’s Xploration Challenge #333

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again today. Though the pollution is getting worse I, at least, seem to have gotten over any allergic reaction.  For now, anyway.

Today I’m grateful for:

The people who came and removed the roof from our entertainment area so that when the storms come this year the winds should just blow through instead of ripping the roof off.  It’s a shame to see it all laid out on the floor to be taken away.  That was expensive stuff.

The best thing about today was:

Lazily going about my day getting things done that I wanted to do, with a little bit of everything thrown in.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I ate a weed brownie and started reading about the Boer War and how some folks back then saw the British Empire’s decline in the same exact way that happened to the Romans and as is happening to the USA now.

It’s just wild to watch people (societies) walk into the same mistakes that have happened over the centuries.

Anyway, all that was fascinating until I got to the end of a section and wanted to listen to music.  I stuck on some CHROMB! and put my brain into overdrive trying to keep track of what the musicians were doing.

I was happily lost in its madness and was in a trance-like state for the best part of an hour.  I think I handled that pretty well then!

Something I learned today?

Wholesome news:

Dozens of Huskies Escape Pet Cafe in China

The barking mad footage from a Shenzhen shopping centre shows the dogs running wild after a customer failed to close the door properly. It reportedly took about one hour to round them up.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I took out the garbage this morning which was easier said than done as our usual dumping area on the road has disappeared with the work going on.  Luckily there is another area not far away though.

I unpacked the packages of cat food, put them away in the cupboard and broke down the boxes.

I cleaned out the gutters, urging rain to come and fill them.

I watered the mango tree which is budding hundreds of tiny fruit.  Let’s hope some make it to maturity this year.

I took this picture yesterday because the restaurant we went to for lunch had these two coloured grasses along their driveway just like we do. But I kinda like it in monochrome.

The Baton – 4th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

You got all of me
The good and the bad
And for all to see
The happy and sad

Take up this race
Carry the baton on
Please take my place
I love you, son

Submitted to WDYS and NaPoMo

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. The air is pretty putrid again today. You can taste it, not just smell it.

Today I’m grateful for:

The delivery people who still manage to get our parcels to us from all around the world, despite all the disruptions in our soi from the new road being built.  4 parcels were delivered while we were out.

The best thing about today was:

The air was slightly clearer the higher up the mountains we got but then once up there it was impossible to see any view.

Most of the restaurants and resorts were closed but we found one and enjoyed Akha food and coffee before hitting Charin Pie and LungChom for desserts.

We should get home around 5 pm and hoping the electricity is back on.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In our soi, they are moving the electricity poles today so they cut off the electricity all along. And today it’s forty degrees! No choice but to go out somewhere so we took a lazy drive up to Doi Chang.

Something I learned today?

Anchan messaged me again. She is staying in Chiang Mai by herself as her extended family is working in BKK.

Her mum, who is in jail, will go to court tomorrow and may end up in prison. She sent Anchan some money to take care of herself and some bills but her uncle, whose house she stays in in Chiang Rai, demanded it all off her.

She’s only 14 and has to deal with all this. She is keen to work to support herself and is highly motivated but I’m also worried about her being vulnerable and could easily be taken advantage of.

She’s smart but the offer of good money for selling her body could sway her and I don’t want that to happen.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan 200 baht to keep her going. 

She didn’t want me to send her money and I can’t afford it much either but there is little else I can do. Even emotional support can’t buy her some vegetables.

I messaged some other of my vulnerable kids today to try and keep some dialogues open.

I took this picture because these red buds stood out at this little water feature as we entered Suan Charin Pie this afternoon.

No Hope – 31st March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A lottery ticket’s luck
To a loser’s life will suck
Muddling on through the muck
Hope is a waste of energy

Waiting for a winning hand
To cross the line in the sand
If it doesn’t go as planned…..
Hope is just poor expectation

These tragedies will never fail
To inspire us to rail
Against them, tooth and nail
Hope is a waste of time

Don’t just hope for the best
Without committing to the test
There is never a second’s rest
For the heroes and their inspiration

Submitted to Ovi Challenge – Hope

Today I’m feeling:

Much improved.  Almost normal even!  Is it a psychological trait of mine?  A mental quirk?  Does my brain make me feel ill when there are things that I’m supposed to do that I really can’t be fucked to do? 

And now, Sunday – usually the day before going back to work (which I love when there are students at school and detest when there aren’t and we are there just because we are supposed to be) but tomorrow is the first day of the holiday.  Has circumstance suddenly tricked me into feeling well?

It’s also weird to be annoyed at having five weeks holiday this year, a week more than last year, and this is because it is the worst time of year here for air pollution and five weeks in October would be so much more preferable.  But like I say it’s weird to be bothered about having extra holiday time!

Today I’m grateful for:

Uncle Nit next door who is helping us sort out some extra work that we need to connect up our drainage to the new drains being added under the widened road.  

Uncle also told us that he’s never seen anything come out of our drain so I’m not exactly sure where our wastewater even goes.

The best thing about today was:

Getting this message from one of my grade 10 students Miwkey:

I am impressed and enjoy learning in the teacher’s lesson. Since I studied with foreign teachers, I have never met a teacher like you. I’ve only encountered foreign teachers who use their emotions towards their students while not paying attention to the lessons they teach in the classroom.

I kind of understand what she means – I think there are many teachers who don’t and sometimes can’t actually assist with explaining some things and just tell the students that they are stupid and should figure it out for themselves. Sigh.

I do also ask them to figure things out for themselves but I’m going to guide them with effective methods that they can remember and reuse.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whilst at Utopia Amy called me to pick up some veggies at the market. When I got back she saw them and exclaimed ‘Noooo, not that one! Go back now!’

Luckily I was in a good mood and quickly went back and got the correct ones.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

More encouragement for students via LINE.

What word or phrase sums up this month?

Tired would pretty much be it. Is it that I’m tired after this busy school year? Because I invest so much of myself into it emotionally? It’s not really been that busy since Christmas.

Perhaps it’s a combination of that and missing the kids, the heat and air pollution and not really having any plans to go anywhere. 

But I did feel better today at least.

Amy took this picture because she wanted to show off her tamarind eggs. Unfortunately, she got a crazy teacher in the shot too!

Always Going Home – 30th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Outside, the sheds, rotting,
With stores of coal
And wood for the winters

Stray cats brought their kittens
to the secret stash of beers
Stolen to curious teenage lips

The washing hangs from the kitchen ceiling
Dried damp infused with boiled pork
At least the rain can’t get in

There are Proustian moments
of potpourri,
The lotions on the bathroom shelf

Creaking stairs and creaking doors
You’ve been here for hundreds of years
Standing as a home

That scary sloping floor
Will it one day fall on those
grandparents sleeping below?

In my pit
Corners of dirt, carpets of dust
How many skins I shed there?

The icy windows stuck shut
I settle under covers thick with
this year’s sweat

My love of the comfort of your walls,
crumbling as they were,
Left when I did

Submitted to dVerse – Buildings

Today I’m feeling:

More reasonable today though still not breathing properly and have itchy tired eyes.

I slept for almost 12 hours though it wasn’t all good sleep but I was happy to at least have the opportunity anyway.  Getting up late meant that the day disappeared fairly quickly.

After coffee, I came back and watched some videos before a delicious experimental lunch that Amy made of roasted vegetable lasagna but instead of lasagna sheets using soft tortillas instead.

Then some more 3 Body Problem, more videos (I didn’t move much today!) then I made it to my room to play guitar but I wasn’t quite in the mood but still managed about 25 minutes.  My room is super hot in the afternoons now and I need to go there and play guitar in the mornings when my brain feels more alert!

I’m also reminded that I need to get back to my Thaipod101 lessons now that I have some free time again.

And also I want to do some study around active listening.  I figure that after 56 years on earth, I might actually start listening to what other people have to say!  Of course, I may find out the opposite too.

Today I’m grateful for:

The cowman from a couple of doors down.

This evening I was about to go out and close the gate and noticed something black on the grass.  On closer inspection, it was cow shit!  When did that get there!  We were out in the garden in the afternoon and it wasn’t there then.

I grabbed a torch and walked around the garden just to check that whatever visitors we had had gone before going to close the gate.  When I got to the gate it was already shut.  I figured that a cow must’ve come in and the cowman found it, chased it back out and closed the gate behind him.

The mystery was soon confirmed by our CCTV system – a mum and calf with the cowman chasing them out!

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s lunch and then in the evening, Amy’s delicious peach crumble with chocolate ice cream.  What a lucky guy I am.  Or was I just smart enough to pick the best person for me to marry?

Something I learned today?

Last year in the world happiness index, China was number 1, followed by Saudi Arabia and then the Netherlands.  In this year’s report neither China nor Saudi Arabia were in the top 30.  That’s strange!  It turns out that even though their data was collected it wasn’t used in the final report meaning a white Western nation (The Netherlands) is the happiest in the world.  At least, if you cherry-pick the data to your agenda.

Also, whilst watching the Netflix 3 Body Problem it seemed fairly obvious to me that the ‘China Bad’ narrative was highlighted intentionally.  It followed the book in that it was a Chinese woman who made contact with the aliens but as the rest of the series wasn’t set in China, as most of the book was, it bluntly exposes Western audiences to a message of ’look what the terrible Chinese did.’  Sigh.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent more messages out to students about their holidays. Checking in with them.

Paen sent me another message out of the blue talking about ending her life again.  I wrote back quickly but still haven’t had an answer.  I just sent her another encouraging message. I hope she’s ok.

I took this picture when closing the gate a couple of nights ago. Is this a blood moon or air pollution?

For What It’s Worth – 29th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Tell me what you want me to say
And I’ll say it
Just slip a dollar into my hand

The great shepherds of society
Created an illusion of fear
To maintain their demand

For whatever it’s worth
I’m just as happy as all the other people
I know

So drop some silver in my pocket
Buy me now
Before I go

Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – buy now.

Today I’m feeling:

Really tired again.  It feels like I just can’t get enough good unbroken sleep.  Cap woke us both up again last night, vomiting up some food.  

I’m starting to feel really concerned for him now.  He’s not eating or drinking enough and is all saggy skin and bones.  It feels like this might be his final days but I hope I’m wrong.  

Maybe I’m just being overly cautious after being less concerned with Kim Chi last year.

Today I’m grateful for:

The people who found Leo after he ran off this evening and Amy had to go and ride around to search for him. Without luck, she then just happened to check a local online message board where someone had posted that they’d found a lost dog. That crazy Leo!

The best thing about today was:

Watching more of the 3 Body Problem. I don’t have energy for much at the moment and am already in bed at 8 pm.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After a couple of coffees, I cancelled meeting up with Matt and figured to go to school and sign the documents to get paid before going home to catch up on sleep. Nancy sent a reminder to go to sign the documents so that was my trigger to leave. 

It was already about 36 degrees and with the bad air and lack of sleep, I was super dizzy, especially after walking up to the fourth floor where waiting for me was absolutely no one. 

I was about to pass out and couldn’t wait around and so left a message with Nancy saying there was no one there and I was sick and leaving.

When I got home there was another message from Nancy saying that if I didn’t sign today I would be paid late, without giving any indication of what late meant.

I flaked into bed but couldn’t get a good rest, sleeping for maybe only twenty minutes. I tried to get Kru Mai to go and sign for me. Why not! Why do we even need to go through this nonsense every month?

At three-forty, looking like there was no other way around it I decided to drive back just to sign their paper.

I took this picture because this tree at school is blossoming and looked great with the sun rising and the school building in contrast.

The Opposite Is True – 21st March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

In a world of lies
The opposite is true
It’s little surprise
To either me or you

When Newspeak terms
Manipulate meaning
The population learns
Between-the-lines gleaning

When news is not news
Opinion and not fact
Open to abuse
And control how we act

I never thought
To live in 1984
After being taught
And then taught some more

Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and phlegmy.  Coughing lots from my chest and struggling to breathe a little too.  May succumb to an afternoon nap today!  I’m saying that and it’s not even 8 am.

Today I’m grateful for:

Yukari for sending me all the Limited Express CDs that I’m missing, along with some extra things to check out.  Sadly I couldn’t avoid paying the customs tax without it becoming a big pain in the ass to deal with.  Never mind.  You win some, you lose some.

The best thing about today was:

Spending the morning at House blogging and writing.  And drinking coffee.

Also, in the afternoons recently, when I’m home I catch up by adding blog posts from 1998, capturing emails, that I miraculously saved to text files at the time, of conversations with TLJ.  They’re a trip to revisit again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whilst I managed to push through the afternoon without a nap, I ran out of energy, needing to eat, before getting to practice guitar and now, after eating I feel lazy and sleepy and will probably get an early night (of reading!)

Something I learned today?

A student (Min) that I never taught but would often chat to around school told me that now she has finished high school she will go to Maejo University in Chiang Mai to study business and hopes to possibly get into real estate.  Not a bad goal to aim for.  I wished her luck.

Amy and I are considering buying the land next door to us as with the road widening going on and more construction in the area, prices are being pushed up.  It could be a good time to invest but it’s also a risk.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent a few messages to various students to see what they are up to during the holidays.  Keep them practising English a little and trying to come up with responses beyond ‘eat, sleep, play game’!

The Bridge – 20th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 10 Comments

The demons are attacking our integrity
The bogeyman is coming
Teeth razor-sharp

*We stand at opposite ends of the bridge
That we both hope to cross*

Unable to turn away from the pain
Manipulated and manufactured
Misused for another’s gain
Consent assumed given

*Taken from Joanna Chen’s censored article at Guernica – still found using the Wayback Machine
Submitted to dVerse – Look Sharp, Now!

Today I’m feeling:

Similar to yesterday in that I feel like I have an oncoming cold.

Yesterday’s trip to the hospital doesn’t seem to have fixed up Amy’s skin allergy so we’ll go to the city this evening to see her doctor who usually is able to help with issues like this.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s specialist skin doctor who advised exactly what she thought her problem was and prescribed medicines to help. Amy trusts this doctor and was much more upbeat after seeing her.

The best thing about today was:

Finding out which classes I will teach next semester. Some new challenges for me that have got me thinking already.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When Kru Karn first showed me my new classes I saw that I would teach my two most testing groups of students again. Ah well, I can deal with it, I thought to myself. 

As it turned out it wasn’t my classes and I found that I don’t have to teach them at all!

I haven’t exercised for over a week now due to not feeling well and also due to the toxic air. I don’t want to be gulping down big gasps of it, trying to catch my breath whilst exercising.

Something I learned today?

A Boeing employee was giving evidence in court blowing the whistle on the company (for what I’m not exactly sure).  Boeing’s lawyers asked him to stay an extra day to add more detail and answer questions.  However, the following morning he was dead by supposed suicide!  And he had already told colleagues that if he was ever found dead it would definitely not be from suicide.  Will corporations in the USA still be allowed to get away with murder?

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I messaged David that the new class lists were available so that he could go and get it from school and start preparing for next year too.

My vile deed today was cutting into traffic at the annoying traffic lights near the hospital. Minus a karma point or two.

Nothing new today so here’s Garfield again.

Gift Return – 18th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

I.

This time is a gift I give
Sharing these pictures on a page
The words a gift from the past
So that you remember the age

This love is a gift I give
To teach is to learn is to teach
Wisdom is the gift I offer
Put within your reach

II. (Rolling Haiku)

The gift keeps giving
To the wisdom of learning
Each generation
To the wisdom of learning
The gift keeps giving

Submitted to No Theme Thursday

Today I’m feeling:

Tired because I had slept too much over the last two days and so struggled to sleep last night along with Cap wanting to be let out and back in again three times.  I hope to get home in the early afternoon and catch up on some sleep then.  The air is still making me feel dizzy and sick too.

Today I’m grateful for:

The four staff at the post office who I communicated with Google Translate telling them that I didn’t want to pay customs tax on a parcel from Yukari in Japan.  The shirt and CDs were already expensive and I don’t want to have to pay even more just to receive them.

Anyway, in my mind I’m already resigned to having to pay the tax but I thought that I would try my best to not and the four guys were all a little stuck as it is just their job to collect the money and send it to the customs people.

I explained that the things in the parcel were just some stuff that I left in Japan when I was visiting there and it was just being sent back to me.  The value on the customs declaration is just for insurance claims if it gets lost.  They were sympathetic but said they just collected the money.

This would be different in Australia where you have a good chance of not paying import duty if you can argue a good case as I have done in the past on several occasions.

Well, as it was up to the customs people I asked them to call them and explain the situation.  They tried but said there was no answer, maybe because it was lunchtime.  OK, when you’ve talked to them you can call me and I gave them my phone number and left.

I doubt that they will call as none of them speak English so I will go back in a day or two and see what the situation is.

The best thing about today was:

Getting my grading files all done and dusted by 9.30am, allowing me time to enjoy coffee before a little bit of shopping, where, finally, Big C has the Strawberry Granola in stock again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I suppose the situation above that I describe about the customs tax is out of my control and I dealt with it calmly and softly.  There was no point in getting upset with the staff at the post office – they were just doing their job.

How do I deal with uncertainty?

I remind myself that everything is uncertain.  When you consider that everything is uncertain and that you have been dealing with this reality for 56 years already, you might not be exactly sure how you deal with it but like my mum always said you ‘just get on with it.’

I have become more flexible and accepting of change over time, something I know that Hayden often struggles with.  I have also reduced my expectations around things being a certain way – Thailand has taught me this quite well.

I took this picture because Cap looked like he was curled up in a warm winter house with a fire roaring nearby which couldn’t be further from the truth. This old man is still so cute.

Love I Feel – 15th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

This is not love I feel
Salty sweat drips off my cheek
And falls onto your neck

Make a pillow of your shirt
That got this thing started!
Let’s rest here a while
Pretending that this is love I feel

Submitted to Friday Writings #117 – Sensual Clothing

Today I’m feeling:

Not as good as yesterday.  Woke up with a chest full of phlegm that was keen to be expelled.  

A little dizzy and unclear though I’m very happy that my teeth feel more normal again and I’m getting used to being able to eat on both sides of my mouth (for a while at least) and not flinch when drinking cold drinks, though I am still mentally preparing for it.

Today I’m grateful for:

The chocolate almonds that have been sitting in the fridge and that I just opened.  I can’t remember who gave them to us now.  I had to stop myself from scoffing too many.

The best thing about today was:

Talking and playing with the last few students I knew that were hanging around at school this morning.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My body is rebelling against the air pollution and the medicines to soothe my inflamed throat and stop my eyes from itching.  The day is a dark yellow pall, like a 14-hour twilight.  Not much I can do about it except wear a mask. Even that irritates my ears and gives me a headache.  Damn, this weather sucks.

Something I learned today?

Do you know why movies are called movies? It’s because the pictures move. Makes sense, right? And then you remember that movies were originally silent. And what we call movies today were originally called talkies, to distinguish them from silent movies. It’s a fun reminder that we live in a tiny branch of all the possible futures that could have existed.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I helped Amy pack the gift packs for the monks tomorrow.

I helped Auntie cut a couple of banana trees so that she could park her car on the land next door and I parked her hi-tech car for her, having needed to be shown how to lift off the handbrake because there was no handbrake, just a button.

I took this picture because tomorrow is Amy’s brother’s wedding and they’ve prettied up the living room and it looks nice.

Just A Friend – 14th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Being that she is someone who
Seeing makes me happy, the
Snowball’s chance in hell
A know-all’s what you are
But not everything is about you,
Shut up for a minute to
Hear the story I tell,
Clearly, it’s not about me
So you are the one who
Go and let me be my
Best for all of my friends,
Rest your head where you are

A golden shovel using Black Flag’s Jealous Again – “Who the hell are you to tell me who my friends are”, with bonus rhyming first words (mostly).
Submitted to Living Poetry’s Monday Poetry Prompt: Green

Today I’m feeling:

Better than yesterday for sure.  My throat is still a little itchy and my brain isn’t quite in gear but I have little to do at school today and can relax a lot.  Maybe I will even sleep in the dentist’s chair today.

Today I’m grateful for:

My new bridge that fixes my teeth up again until the next crumbling occurs. My mouth feels semi-normal again.

The best thing about today was:

Trying new coffee at Block Booster as Gui is in Japan for a week. The coffee was pretty good and the time flew by way too fast there and all of a sudden I had to rush to be at the dentist, who was predictably, running late.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I ran out of energy in mid-evening and didn’t get to write here or finish any Thai study. Never mind.

What does ‘home’ mean to me?

Home means safety and comfort.  

A little more obliquely, home is where my stuff is.  I can make a home anywhere.  

There was a period of time when, after living at ‘home’ with my mother for twenty-plus years I moved house more than ten times in the space of two years (including moving from the UK to Australia).  

Each of those places was home in some small way.

I took this picture because I had to take Amy to get noodles and whilst we were waiting the sun was a deep pink turning burning red through the smoky atmosphere as seen at the end of the soi.