“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Music from Joanna Gruesome, D.I., Mighty Baby, Univers Zero, Christian Fitness, Neos, XTC, Chokebore, The Necessaries, Electric Light Orchestra, Owen Grey & His Jets, Unwound, Ilaiyaraaja, Bollywood Funk, The Milkshakes, The Pogues, Fotriafa and Groupe El Azhar.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for a sleep-in this morning and not to be thinking too much so having a break from journalling and reading.
Music from Craw, Idylls, The Stranger Steals, Cause for Effect, Spray Paint, Chesterfields, Show Business Giants, ZNR, Caustic Resin, Full Fathom Five, Jawbreaker, Slugs, The Things To Come, BUBS, The Wimps, Elvis Costello, The Wanderers, If I Look Strong You Look Strong, Jimi Hendrix Experience and XTC.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to see the misty clouds on the mountains this morning. It made me happy to see such beauty.
This week there’s music from Estradasphere, Generation X, Hanadensha, Ken Boothe/Stranger Cole, Cat Power, Tipographica, The Monkees, Hayvanlar Alemi, Phleg Camp, 3D’s, The Fall, Keukhot, The Sneer-Towners, Sex Clark Five, Annihilation Time and The Nipple Erectors.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have so many choices for entertainment in my home.
I keep forgetting to post these but here’s #40. I had a lot of fun making this last weekend.
Music from The Wrens, Teenage Fanclub, The Freshies, Y.U.P., 2227, Cleaners From Venus, DJ Pica Pica Pica, Boredoms, Swans, Pigment Vehicle, Renaldo and the Loaf, Jaks, Callers, Bad Religion, Sun City Girls, Thingy, Leaving Trains and Karl Blake.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I arranged to meet Bruno this morning. It means I don’t have to help clean the house! Not that I mind cleaning the house, it’s just a convenient coincidence.
Music from 65daysofstatic, Stormy Six, The Controllers, Kerosene 454, Jawbreaker, Die! Die! Die!, Death, Minutemen, Beefeater, Red Cross, Necros, Hanadensha, Versus, Au Pairs, The Paper Chase, Blast, Soul Inc.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to see my friend Fern again.
Take a good hard look at people’s ruling principle, especially of the wise, what they run away from, and what they seek out.
Marcus Aurelius
Weight: 80.3kg
Resting heart rate: 44
To-do list
Well, looking at these five challenges it seems like I didn’t do much yesterday!
I did spend a bit more time reading as I was diving into the book about a girl’s abduction and trying to imagine myself in her position. I wanted to try to write down being there and all the thoughts going through my mind.
Later, I compared it with being a prisoner within your own mind – a place we can never escape.
I sorted out more CDs and feel that that task is getting closer to completion.
By the evening and time to go out, I was feeling very relaxed and happy.
As we were driving to the evening festival Amy got upset because I didn’t drive the way, the direction, she wanted. Her anger got more and more and I felt very embarrassed in front of Aing, Gus and Nu. There was no real need for it and I tried to brush it off as best I could.
Unfortunately, I was only able to do this for a short time until I felt sadness and anger too. I had to go and sit by myself for 5 minutes and calm my mind. I felt better when I returned but by then I was exhausted. Amy had a few beers and was happy though I was worried that she would drink too much and start getting violent with me again.
Things were ok though Amy was getting louder and I just felt like I wanted to be somewhere quiet. The noise of the festival was relentless, from every direction and incoherent. It gave me a headache. I tried to constantly talk myself in a positive headspace but it just got worse as Amy loudly tried to put me down in front of the others again. I couldn’t/didn’t want to have an argument in front of others and Amy knew this and used it to her advantage.
We got home and things had calmed down until Amy came and started on me again. I was tired and cranky by this point and bit back and we went to sleep unhappy with each other. I feel like there is something else behind this behaviour, not just a desire to try and control me.
I’d like to talk with Amy about this but will have to find the right time and try not to just get into another argument.
Something else that has been bothering me is Amy always talking about how all the money is with her and everything is in her name. At first, it was just a bit of fun but I’m not amused anymore. It feels like a fascist hold over me. I’m ok for her to take care of all that stuff but I don’t need reminding of it every week.
Again, I think Amy is not happy these days and doing these actions to compensate. I’d just like to see her happy and positive again – preferably without alcohol.
Music from The Reactionaries, Alternative TV, Neutral Sons, Polvo, Peter Black, Hilkka, The Fartz, Elvis Costello, Captain Sensible, Rogues, Graham Parker and the Rumour, Radio Nepal, Orthrelm, Arcwelder, Guapo, Minutemen, McClusky.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to Oh and Namtan for letting me stay at their house last night. It saved me money and trouble and they are nice people.
All reading should be applied to the idea of living the happy life…words may become deeds.
Seneca
To-do list
Today was a very good day and I feel wonderful and happy. It started with 40 squats, a shower and reading before taking Oh and Namtan for coffee. We have a good conversation about books, reading, exercising and eating.
The drive back was very pleasant though tempered by some melancholy as many returns home can be. It’s never as exciting as the heading out into unknown adventures, no matter how small they are.
I was so positive that I was fine for the teaching and it went like a breeze.
At dinner, Amy and I chatted for a long while and I put forward the idea of how we could spend the perfect day together.
Tomorrow I hope to spend some time in my office – I love being there but feel somewhat disconnected from the house so I don’t usually stay out there late into the night.
We have some more students tomorrow but those lessons should be fun
Music from The Misunderstood, Angelic Upstarts, Passage, Surveillance, 13th Floor Elevators, Lozenge, Vaz, Hard-Ons, The Damned, Queen, Captain Beefheart, Melt Banana, Crass, Hitler SS, Meat Puppets, I Am Above and on the Left, Thee Headcoats, Party Diktator, Supertramp.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be living in this part of the world. There are many times in a week when I marvel at the views of the rice fields and the mountains. Their depth changes depending on the weather conditions and time of day. There are good and bad points about every place to live but I certainly feel grateful for my time living here.
Music from Lifter Puller, Thinking Plague, Ozric Tentacles, Built To Spill, Unknown, Shellac, Parliament, Naked City, The Fall, fordamage, Boredoms, Pink Floyd and Dexys Midnight Runners.
14th Feb 2021 – Around this time things were getting very difficult for me with the school I was working at, which led to me leaving at the end of the semester – I forget exactly when perhaps late September or early October. I’ll write more about that at some point.
Anyway, with the stressful situation, I decided to adjust my focus to making a music podcast. I would often sit and marvel as my music library would be set to shuffle and so much great music just kept popping up, so I started keeping track and then making recordings of those songs. I eventually settled into a rhythm of doing one episode per week, often working 3 or 4 weeks in advance.
It was a really enjoyable habit, to focus 3 or 4 hours per weekend to put an episode together. It kept me sane until, of course, it drove me insane. As usual, I developed more ideas as I went along and refined and improved things (I think).
As with this blog, I only made the shows for my own pleasure and didn’t really care whether anyone listened or not and was happy when one or two listeners became comrades. Only after seeing that a million others were doing the same thing and not many people were listening to them either, I decided to bow out and not add any further to the noise of the internet for a while.
When I was in my mid-teens I would blast crazy music out of my bedroom window in the weird hope that people might be intrigued enough to come in and discover more about this mad world of music that I existed in. But living in rural Dorset with only the odd farmer and stray cow or dog passing by, no one ever came to enquire – or even to complain.
Now I can sit in rural Thailand and do the same.
Cat #: 080TZM
I imported and licensed the first 3 Hedgehog releases for Australia. I’d met them briefly in 2007 in Beijing and was keen to work with them.
Cat #: 117TZM
Fat City and LuXinPei are noise and alternative rock bands. Because two bands share each other’s player or idea and been a longtime friends, they make this SUPER SPLIT together. This split is a collection of the bands’ early songs and soundtrack. Though you can find many music genres here the two bands still keep their love to experiment with various sounds and structures in their songs.
CD version is factory made CD-r.
Imported under license in Australia from Zhu Wenbo by tenzenmen.
And thanks to Nisky to provide the cover picture.
All Songs’ Instruments and Vocal by Fat City and Lu Xin Pei
Record & Mix & Mastering by G.B.J.D. Records
Studio : Kill the Poor, Beijing , China
Date: Apr.-Jun. 2011
Album Cover Picture by Nisky, Shanghai, China
1994ever 