Tag: amor fati

In Tune – 11th December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Maybe you’ll never get old
Death attained so soon
Treat each day
In this way
And live your life in tune

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have the app Capo that gives me a good idea of the chords to play guitar for any song I have. So yesterday I spent a couple of hours playing – enough to cramp my hands!

Yesterday I took advantage of an extra day off. Got up late, drank coffee at Utopia, reading more of the fun Slash biography, got a quick haircut at my usual local auntie hairdresser, had a quick pep talk with Na, Amy went out for lunch so I picked up some friend rice and veggies at the aharn damsang in our soi and tried out the Busabee wheat beer, which was delicious, though I struggled a little with it and having to go to the toilet all the time was annoying!

Sat in my hammock under the passionfruit until it got too hot and then slowly kept drinking in my room and ended up playing guitar for a couple of hours, trying to play along to familiar songs, got hand cramps, then switched to listening to Nomeansno really fucking loud, which was great and something I don’t do enough of.

Listening to music loud is the best way to appreciate it.

At the hairdresser, the auntie used a razor to tidy up my ear hair and it struck me what a weirdly intimate act it was, though enacted in a professional environment. I compared it to sex work – an intimate act that for the worker is just part of the job. Yes – I’m comparing sex work to a haircut! Why is sex work so demeaned?

Due to my own upbringing and environment, I don’t understand or comprehend the rationale behind people who want to adopt the profession but at the same time, it’s not my business and as there is a huge calling for work of this sort then workers should be treated with the respect they deserve.

The abundance of online pornography available should change attitudes towards sex and find a way to make the whole thing more equal and less exploitative. Less religion – more openness.

Terminal Diagnosis – 2nd December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s the one prophecy that never fails
To take the wind out of your sails
Forgotten by distraction, the world it passes by
There’s no escaping that you are gonna die

Every second that’ll never be repeated
This diagnosis cannot be defeated
Today is the day to stop pretending
And live your life because it’s ending

21st Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our washing machine that can fit a doona inside. Needed today as Tigger peed on Amy’s last night.

I was super tired last night and got into bed at about 6.30 pm. I read for a bit and then slept and slept very well, even when Amy woke up and turned the light on as Tigger peed on the doona right next to her head! I don’t know why he pees everywhere at random times. If there is something wrong, he doesn’t show it. He’s really happy most of the time, with us at least.

He fought with Kim Chi a few days ago and was having a go with Cap yesterday, too. Usually, if we see something starting, though, it seems to be Cap that starts it. He’s stupid like that! Tigger is much bigger and stronger.

Two good classes this morning and I will only do a little easy work tomorrow in preparation for a 3-day week next week. Thailand certainly enjoys its public holidays.

I’ve become involved in helping Champ with plans for the students to do a TED Talk video. I’m not sure what it involves just yet but I think it’s good to be asked to be involved. It’s a little bit of a show thing and I would prefer just to be encouraging all students to put in more effort day to day.

I’m feeling ok, though I may flake out again early tonight. I’ve been getting up a little earlier and I realise that my morning exercise has moved up to about 30 minutes from the ten minutes or so when I started doing this. I feel good after exercise and I’m definitely working off the weight but I will need to find a better balance and increase my food intake again.

Apart from breakfast, I generally only eat lunch and then snack on nuts in the evening. I’ve managed to push my lunch until 3 pm, so I have two long periods with no food intake. Just water and coffee between breakfast and late lunch.

The abs routine is getting tougher but I struggle my way through and don’t feel inclined to give up as I may have done in the past.

My blood is working, but my, my heart is dead – 18th February 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can communicate enough with non-English speakers. I will try to learn more and more.

Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly. What doesn’t transmit light creates its own darkness.

Marcus Aurelius

To-do list

  • More about emotional control ½
  • 20-minute meditations ✅
  • Sort out passport/visa change ✅
  • Sort out return visa exemption ✅
  • Give Maisarah letter ✅

Improved positive emotions today, helped by having to go to Immigration in the morning to get my visa transferred to my new passport – ie. not sitting around in school.

Gave Maisarah my gratitude letter and spent an hour or so talking with her. She’s a good person.

I felt much calmer today and though I thought about Kimi often it was happy memories of him laughing and joking.

This evening I sat for over 2 hours at the neighbour’s funeral as the monk made everyone laugh with his words, sometimes making fun of me. It was an interesting approach to often sombre occasions. Even though I couldn’t understand his words I could feel the happiness throughout those gathered and I could also see or at least understand the positive effects of community.