Lazy to get up despite kinda waking up at around 7 am when I could’ve got myself going but instead dozed until around 10 am. My body is aching in a good way.
Today I’m grateful for:
An afternoon storm today! Hooray! It was a bit of a surprise.
Unfortunately, it also highlighted that the builders that came to fix our gutters in the garage have actually made it worse than before. Sigh.
It seems impossible to get anyone to do a ‘proper’ job of anything here sometimes.
The best thing about today was:
Amy being out in the evening with Paew leaving me happily at home with the cats, Youtube and comics for company.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After getting up late and knowing Amy was going out I decided I would only have a light lunch and then get my favourite fish dish in the walking market in the evening. I also figured I might buy another hash brownie to relax even further.
Anticipating this had my mouth watering but sadly the fish stall wasn’t in the market today and the shop that usually sells the brownies was closed!
Never mind. There’s lots of time to enjoy everything.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
I spent the last ten minutes before getting up this morning contemplating whether to skip exercise this morning as even laying in bed my thighs were still aching from working out two days ago.
But I forced myself and even though the app keeps giving me push-ups to do I just figured to replace some of them with arm curls instead. I did some knee push-ups though. Maybe one day I’ll be comfortable doing push-ups.
Maybe. One day.
I took this picture because this is what our new gutter is like and it’s only now I see that it is so shallow that in big rains here it’s going to force water into the roof. I don’t get why they’ve done it like this. It’s just fucking stupid.
Lazy to get up but I’m enjoying the ache in my body from exercise. I’m already reminiscing about the lost time of this holiday despite actually being more productive than last year. I’ve got into the groove of taking it easy and am now feeling anxious about getting busy again in the next couple of weeks. Though I know well that I can deal with it easily enough.
Today I’m grateful for:
A brief small storm at around 7pm that whilst not hanging around for long meant a drop in temperature that even allowed us to turn the aircon off for a while!
The best thing about today was:
Tigger coming for cuddles about 7 or 8 times. He’s getting more affectionate with his age.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I didn’t get a chance to read more of my book today as I ended up busy with other things. I did get some comic reading in and a chapter from another book that I delve into every now and then.
Something I learned today?
A US senator was complaining that a bag of steel brackets needed for weaponry was costing 90,000 dollars. A Chinese seller responded offering to sell the same thing for 8 dollars! And the reality is that US Defence spending from Chinese sources has quadrupled over the last few years. So the US military is becoming dependent on parts for war with China that are….made in China!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent Anchan a little more money so that she can get back to Chiang Rai as she is stuck in a village outside Chiang Mai at the moment.
I helped Amy moving around some furniture on the terrace as she wanted to change it up. It looks good and change is good.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
Despite the last two days of not enjoying playing guitar I picked it up again for about 20 minutes and was a little happier with my ability.
What are my thoughts on growing older?
In the last couple of years, I’ve enjoyed the wisdom that age has brought me but recently, with the feeling of time disappearing too quickly, I’m pining for the days of boredom I used to endure as a teenager.
Too much knowledge is a dangerous thing? I know it’s just the way of looking at it. Perhaps I am bored now but don’t really know it?
It can’t be helped to wonder about being able to live your life over again but now I have to take a positive attitude with me with what remains.
I took this picture yesterday and along with other garden pictures sent them to Sharon and Rob.
Pretty good. Did some exercise again and thankful for it as I can feel my lazy muscles trying hard to pull my body together.
Today I’m grateful for:
Getting out of the house for a day as Amy suddenly came up with the idea to drive to Toeng, so after coffee, we set off, ate huge prawns in Toeng, cake in a rice field cafe somewhere, dropped by to see Wan in Chiang Khong, up to Chiang Saen for some snack shopping in the walking street, and finally a Maekhong riverside fish dinner before getting home 9 hours after leaving.
It was good to be out, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow and staying in!
The best thing about today was:
Having a quick video call with Hayden before our lunch was served. He’d just come off a 20-hour shift with one of his difficult clients but seemed pretty chipper.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy is pre-menstrual so whilst she was pretty good today she also got a bit wild every now and then.
Something I learned today?
Crispus Attucks was an American whaler, sailor, and stevedore of African and Native American descent, who is traditionally regarded as the first person killed in the Boston Massacre, and as a result, the first American killed in the American Revolution.
I took this picture because…. cake! The photo was better than the cake.
The crying cats woke me up to feed them at 8.30 so I got up and did that but knew I wanted more sleep. Back in bed and I eventually got up at around 11.30. Hooray for a good long sleep!
I think I ended up sleeping at around 2am last night as I was reading comics til 1am and then listening to the Henry and Heidi podcast about Rollins Band.
Today I’m grateful for:
A guy called Pran. He is Baipad’s mum’s boyfriend and he got in touch with me today because he wants to understand more about Baipad because they may end up all living together.
Baipad put us in touch and was ok for me to tell him everything. I kinda understand why she doesn’t want to tell him directly. Baipad seems to like him so I hope he is a trustworthy and good guy.
The best thing about today was:
Getting back to some guitar practice. This holiday has been on and off for me, not wanting to go out into the oven of my room in the afternoons. But today I told myself to get back to it. It was a struggle to play and I know that it just needs more practice and that the more I do, the better I will get.
I also told myself that I need to get back into exercise too. I downloaded a new app to try out for motivation and will start tomorrow.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Nothing wildly out of control. I accepted that I woke up late and was even happy about it as I got enough good rest.
At various times throughout the day Amy would order me to do something and I was in the mood to acquiesce without complaint.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
With Baipad’s approval I told Pran everything that I knew about Baipad’s experience and also gave my suggestions as to what might help her. I also told him that I understood Baipad’s mum too.
Anchan said that she wanted to go to a friends house and bake. I told her to stop thinking and get going. Later on she told me that she had a good time.
Momo took this picture last week because I asked her to. With me is Baitong – a funny favourite of mine.
This is our genocide so that makes it ok We’re making money and making them pay Never been the good guys, why start now Doublespeak makes us believable somehow
Accepting that our morals are better than yours Peace is treason in this world of wars If you don’t agree then we’ll have to kill you And when we need an enemy, you know, it’s still you
Blessed are we with the God-given guns Bombs with the power of multiple suns No longer left with any place to hide Welcome to our wonderful genocide
Today I’m feeling:
A little slow to get going this morning but now I’m coffeed up and lesson planning so my brain is engaged. Kinda don’t want to stop except I need to eat something!
Today I’m grateful for:
The weird Chinese tea that tasted like medicine but successfully cooled my mouth at the mala soup restaurant.
The best thing about today was:
Starting with a bang and feeling good winding down from around lunchtime until nighttime! I could’ve gotten more done but things will get done at the right time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Baipad told me that she was hoping her mum would be sympathetic and understand how depressed she was after taking an overdose but whilst in the hospital she asked “Why don’t you just die?” Jesus Christ. I didn’t know what to say except that ‘I’m sorry’
Something I learned today?
Tibet is actually called Xizang. Not even the locals have ever called it Tibet.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
After Baipad told me what her mum said I consoled her and advised her to tell the doctor as much information as she can about her situation and feelings. She’s a little shy and scared to talk about this, preferring to hold it all in but it’s obvious that this is having a negative effect.
We dropped a case of beer to Goleng and thanked him for taking care of Amy last night after she drank too quickly and threw up around 7pm and passed out soon after! Despite that she said she had a great time and everyone was laughing with her this morning.
I took this picture because today was the last day for splashing water for Songkran.
Upbeat, positive and happy but a little tired (I think from blurred vision – or is my blurred vision from being tired?)
Today I’m grateful for:
The local weed shop being open today, splashing water on anyone passing by.
We now have two weed shops in the village!
The best thing about today was:
Dad’s larb pla for lunch, still hot from the pan and creating a perfect sweat for this heat.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was actually looking forward to going to SanKong for an hour or so, knowing it would be a joyous occasion, everyone having fun in a communal free-for-all.
After lunch, I went and sat in the aircon as Amy, family and friends were making desserts. She said it would take a couple of hours and that was perfect. Once they’re done we can drive to SanKong, I can hang out for a bit before going home, leaving Amy to keep drinking with her friends.
I soon dozed off and not woken up again until 4.30 pm, a couple of hours later than expected. Amy was already into her wine and understood when I said I’d just go home directly as it was late afternoon now.
Something I learned today?
Yesterday there was a knife attack in Bondi Junction Westfield and five people were killed. It’s an odd feeling for something like this to happen in a place that I’m familiar with.
I took this picture because I was actually expecting to have a bunch of photos from Sankong’s Songkran celebration today but I didn’t make it and I have a sore neck.
It’s still early but I think I feel a little more motivated than yesterday. I’m lesson planning already and that’s going well, so it’s a good start.
I think I need to be busy, doing stuff, to keep myself occupied. If I get lazy and don’t move my brain and body I start to atrophy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The poetry folks who post prompts and ideas that inspire me to write. I don’t know how many other people might think that I write quite well but I write for myself and when I look back at things that I’ve written I often feel proud and impressed.
I started a free poetry course at one site and struggled with the first assignment which was to write about yourself. It should be easy, most of my poetry is about myself but when asked specifically to do it, where do you start?
Oddly enough, I ended up writing a poem today that was written for four different prompts but ended up being about myself almost directly and I will use it as a part of what I submit.
The best thing about today was:
Getting enough lesson plans done to feel comfortable that I know what I’m doing. I can see the way forward to having enough done for the semester and working out what is needed for the rest of the year too.
Let’s hope that the students reach my expectations of what I have planned for them; otherwise I will have to do some quick revisions.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’ve been happy to get a lot done today but have also felt a little annoyed at times, though not acted on, just in my head, by little things. It was when I was watching TV, though, that I really noticed bad tinnitus in my left ear and it’s still bothering me now.
I’m not sure exactly what has brought this on. I did play guitar for about 20 minutes but it wasn’t at a volume as excessive as I sometimes play. Usually, the ear ringing comes and goes but it seems to be hanging around today.
Something I learned today?
Utopia will only open in the morning this weekend as they will all go and celebrate Songkran in the city in the afternoons.
A couple of days ago, I learned that Nick at Daytripper will leave for Australia, where he’s hoping to work as a barista in Sydney. With him going, Art decided to close the shop completely as he is too busy to keep it going.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
As I mentioned above I did get internally annoyed many times today. However, biting my teeth through all that I did everything that Amy asked of me, particularly when she ran in from the garden with her skin boiling up in an allergic reaction to something. I got her ice, rubbed on lotions and creams, and did this and that.
She’s disappointed that she is allergic to something (probably the hairy worms), as when the temperature is good, she enjoys pottering about out there.
I took this picture because Fat Tig was taking a break, as was I.
Much improved. Almost normal even! Is it a psychological trait of mine? A mental quirk? Does my brain make me feel ill when there are things that I’m supposed to do that I really can’t be fucked to do?
And now, Sunday – usually the day before going back to work (which I love when there are students at school and detest when there aren’t and we are there just because we are supposed to be) but tomorrow is the first day of the holiday. Has circumstance suddenly tricked me into feeling well?
It’s also weird to be annoyed at having five weeks holiday this year, a week more than last year, and this is because it is the worst time of year here for air pollution and five weeks in October would be so much more preferable. But like I say it’s weird to be bothered about having extra holiday time!
Today I’m grateful for:
Uncle Nit next door who is helping us sort out some extra work that we need to connect up our drainage to the new drains being added under the widened road.
Uncle also told us that he’s never seen anything come out of our drain so I’m not exactly sure where our wastewater even goes.
The best thing about today was:
Getting this message from one of my grade 10 students Miwkey:
I am impressed and enjoy learning in the teacher’s lesson. Since I studied with foreign teachers, I have never met a teacher like you. I’ve only encountered foreign teachers who use their emotions towards their students while not paying attention to the lessons they teach in the classroom.
I kind of understand what she means – I think there are many teachers who don’t and sometimes can’t actually assist with explaining some things and just tell the students that they are stupid and should figure it out for themselves. Sigh.
I do also ask them to figure things out for themselves but I’m going to guide them with effective methods that they can remember and reuse.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Whilst at Utopia Amy called me to pick up some veggies at the market. When I got back she saw them and exclaimed ‘Noooo, not that one! Go back now!’
Luckily I was in a good mood and quickly went back and got the correct ones.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
More encouragement for students via LINE.
What word or phrase sums up this month?
Tired would pretty much be it. Is it that I’m tired after this busy school year? Because I invest so much of myself into it emotionally? It’s not really been that busy since Christmas.
Perhaps it’s a combination of that and missing the kids, the heat and air pollution and not really having any plans to go anywhere.
But I did feel better today at least.
Amy took this picture because she wanted to show off her tamarind eggs. Unfortunately, she got a crazy teacher in the shot too!
When judgement comes, what may you say In your defence? For every tiny part you play Comes at some expense With violence spent, you walked away All of it forgotten Whilst those you hurt were forced to stay Sour and turning rotten
When judgement comes, it will be Seen from your heart For better or worse, you set me free You played your part A part in miniature, a part of me Reborn stronger My part in this is plain to see And I will stay longer
Uncertain. I just looked in the mirror and felt old and worthless. Perhaps it’s because I’m not around the energy of the kids at the moment.
Last night Amy also cried that Thailand isn’t her place anymore and that she feels more at home in Australia. There’s a lot behind that but there is also a factor that I haven’t written about here because it’s a sensitive topic and the situation is ongoing. Needless to say, I understand her feeling, whilst not sharing it.
She also asked me if I would ever go back to England to live and I said no, which made me consider her position.
I seem to have really found myself here and just have no real idea what I would do with myself back in Australia.
Anyway, this is not a new feeling or thought and is not able to be actioned upon just yet due to having our cats and our home here, which we would need to sell. Sometime in the future though, it looks a given that we will be back in Australia.
Today I’m grateful for:
My student, Nong Aoi, who called me this evening as she was happily cooking and eating with her boyfriend and friends. Despite giving me big headaches last year enough to make me worry that she was going off the rails, she has calmed down a little now and is quite sweet and affectionate. I think it’s nice that my students feel comfortable enough to call me. I’m doubtful that they call other any other teachers.
Yesterday I also messaged a little with Nong Nam, who was Aoi’s accomplice in giving me grief last year. She has also matured a little more now and said that she really appreciates that I contact her every six months or so to check in on her. Sometimes it’s the small actions that make all the difference.
The best thing about today was:
Quietly reading 2000AD and Judge Dread Megazine stories after getting home mid-afternoon. It was excellent and I was savouring the time spent.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got a glimpse of my new classes from Kru Mai today and whilst he has taken heed of my reluctance to be involved with the Integrated classes for next semester he has spread me out into other high school classes which means figuring out new lessons to teach.
I would also not teach any grade 7 classes, for which I already have a hundred lessons accumulated over the last three years. Oh well, new challenges lay ahead.
Cappuccino is still not looking too good at the moment and doesn’t seem to be able to settle himself into a comfortable position, like there’s something not right in his hips or belly. Poking around doesn’t seem to cause him any discomfort but something is obviously not right.
Amy and I are both wary as it was at this time last year that Kim got sick and went to the vet a couple of times until that fateful day she didn’t come back alive.
Something I learned today?
In medieval Europe, mercury was used in medicine and manufacturing. Hatters were specifically exposed to mercuric nitrate, a form of inorganic mercury.
By 1837, “mad as a hatter” was a common saying.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent messages out to a few more students today to check in on how they are doing. I discovered that Anchan is having a tough time of things these days.
She has been living with her uncle as the rest of her family have been put in prison for an illegal online gambling website! She says her uncle is never around so she has to take care of the house and as she is not getting any money from her mum now she has to help her grandmum with selling things and gets barely enough to buy herself food.
And all that is taking away from her school work where, amazingly, she is still motivated to push herself and enrolling herself in extracurricular activities. She’s only 14 years old.
She asked for some help with information about exchange programs to Australia and I talked a little with Kru Champ about that as it is something he is working on in the future.
It’s frustrating to see smart, motivated kids trapped in situations like this. I hope she doesn’t give up and lose herself as so many teenagers can do.
I took this picture because Cap is not quite feeling well at the moment, unfortunately.
I’ve got some energy today, mainly through having ideas for lessons for next semester, which I need to focus on this week in preparation.
I just hope that what I’m working on is suitable for the students and not above their level.
I sometimes overestimate how skilled the students are and as this is my first time teaching grade 12 I have some reservations.
Today I’m grateful for:
Cap being able to come home from the vet. He hates being there as he is a princess scaredy-cat a lot of the time.
I doubt he slept much for the last three days but the saline has helped stabilise his blood levels and hopefully, he soon gets his appetite back.
The best thing about today was:
Getting on a roll with my lessons. I checked with the grade 12 teacher from last year and they were very supportive of what I was hoping to teach some of these students.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I talked to Kru Mai about changing one of my classes so that they matched the other classes in that grade and he said he will look at it.
But in the process of that conversation, the annual discussion of integrated study came up again and our grade 7 and 10 classes may need to follow that format.
I argued against this unless we are given the lessons to teach (which is not likely). Every year they try to implement this and it’s always been shot down but it looks they are going to try and muscle it in somehow this time.
Also, any rejigging of our classes may also mean I don’t end up teaching the grade 12s that I just spent all day working on lessons for. I asked if that could be left alone because I hope that I can get this opportunity to test out my skills and abilities, as well as the students.
Something I learned today?
USA TikTok users said that they were worried if the company was sold to a US corporation, believing that it would be more censored and restricted than it is currently as a subsidiary of a Chinese company.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Amy asked me to do many little things for her this evening and I’ve done them as required, even though it interrupted things that I was doing.
I took this picture because the full moon was looking rad as I went out to help Amy in the teaching room. She has plans for it but I’m not sure exactly what yet.
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