Tag: Amy

Start To Finish – 4th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Ever since time begun
– You were nothing and no one
– – Born from dirt and sun
– – – This is the beginning

– – – There’s nothing to be done
– – You’re nothing and no one
– There’s nothing to come
This is the end

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge – Helpless

Today I’m feeling:

Quiet and confused but more settled throughout the day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The end of the holidays!

As often happens I end up deleting lots of things that keep me updated with news from around the world. This time I’ve deleted a lot of subscriptions to reports from the USA or geopolitics that generally involves the USA.  It’s sad and frustrating to watch the wild thrashes of a beast in its death throes so I’m putting out of my sight.

The best thing about today was:

I went out to get some sodas and dropped in to see if Baipad was back home now, which she was and I chatted with her for a few minutes.  

She seemed ok and was glad to be back from her Grandmum’s though as soon as she was back her cat knocked her phone to the floor and broke it!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Yesterday’s roller coaster of emotions ended on a sour note, as even though Amy had eventually been happy and grateful and affectionate towards me I couldn’t shake the rest of the bad feelings out and when, as she often does, she drunkenly came to me for sex I calmly said that I wasn’t interested tonight and was annoyed at the fact this only usually happens when she is drunk.  When I’m rebutted in my approaches at other times I will laugh it off and wait for another day.

To be approached when drunk feels insulting to me.  I know I shouldn’t feel like this but it had been a long day for me and I was nowhere near in a loving mood.

And Amy took great umbrage at this and stormed off slamming doors and going to the other bedroom.  I left it for a while and came and asked her back into our bedroom and cuddled her til we both slept.

Although there were no hostilities this morning Amy didn’t want to communicate and so I was as pleasant as I could be and left her to it.  We continued the day quietly without talking further about what happened in particular.  I feel OK but could also feel better.

Something I learned today?

Sydney Swans are top of the table in the AFL after beating GWS and Geelong losing to Melbourne.  It’s a bit of a surprise, to be honest.  The media rarely focus much on the Swans as they have just been a consistent team without flash or bravado and they (the media) focuses on the Melbourne teams for gossip and rivalry.

And Ipswich Town have won their last game of the season to make it back into the Premier League next year.  Wow!

And then double wow, stumbling across a video podcast of interviews with Ipswich legends from my youth.  I watched one episode today with George Burley.  Amazing.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I took some candy for Team Utopia.

Hot, So Hot and Wet – 30th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Once loving to hug and hold
Long ago days of rain and cold
But now, if the truth be told
The winters burn hot

In a switch, the summer scorch
Sees retreat from the porch
From the airconned room reports
Let’s siesta until twilight

Finally, the storms arrive
Life returns to bloom and thrive
Another year we survive
Thanks to the monsoon

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 45 – season

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again.  Got up and exercised and am now out for coffee.

A couple of days ago when I was moving the tree I got bitten by an ant on the inside of my little finger and now it is distractingly itchy.  Because of the location it’s not easy to get a nice satisfying scratch on it and it’s super annoying.

Today I’m grateful for:

Art lending me a backpack that I can use on Sunday to go to Bangkok.  I also found out that Monday is a national holiday so I don’t have to worry about not being back in time to start work!

Also, a sneaky little doze whilst listening to video discussions on YouTube whilst Amy did the watering and washed the car!

The best thing about today was:

Watching more of Three Body.  I’m loving the slow pace of it.  It seems each April holiday is marked by watching some TV series or other whilst avoiding the heat.  A couple of years back it was Narcos.

I think last year though I ended up playing Xbox more than watching TV and I actually had planned to do that this year but in the end just didn’t bother.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was on a roll and in the zone whilst sipping coffee this morning, first reading, then inspired, then writing.  But I started to feel a little dizzy and knew I needed to come home and eat.  Otherwise, I would have loved to have stayed longer and written more.

Tomorrow I won’t have so much free time as we will be running around most of the day doing things for Grandmum’s 100-day ritual.

Something I learned today?

Israel’s prime minister Netanyahu is likely to have an arrest warrant for war crimes issued by the International Criminal Court.  Whilst it is likely just a symbolic gesture and he would unlikely ever be arrested at least it shows the world stands against him.

Russian president Putin also has an arrest warrant issued by the ICC but that was instigated by USA propaganda and that is all falling apart.

The world is starting to rise against the genocide perpetuated by Israel on the Palestinians and supported by the USA war machine.

Also, last night I watched a video from Thai Talk with Paddy and he was presenting 12 things that he didn’t like about Thailand.  Whilst many other farangs agreed with some or all of his points there were others that I couldn’t believe just how self-righteous they were.

I don’t understand how you can say someone’s opinion is wrong.  You don’t have to agree but you must be smart enough to at least counter their opinion.  These days people don’t bother to do that just believing that they are right.

I don’t know why this particular video and comments stood out to me, maybe it’s been accumulating for a while.  I will cut out this view of negativity as much as I can because it is just a waste of time and energy.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Noey and Natalie were in Utopia whilst I was there this morning and they were preparing for a presentation.  I wished them luck.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

I did as much of the exercises as I could this morning though I am weak in certain (most) areas.  3 sets of 60 lunges had to be cut down to 3 sets of 40 and 3 by one minute of static Superman I just held for as long as I could.  But I didn’t skip or give up.

I took this picture because I’m hoping this tree can survive the move from pot to ground.

Shadow’s Whisper – 25th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Take my hand, I’ll walk you home
Stay with me forever
The sun don’t shine when all alone
Let’s do this together

I’ll still be there in your dark days
Whispering inspiration
Don’t listen to what the devil says
Despite his adulation

Along the way, through thick and thin
Even with bridges burning
Because even if we don’t win
At least we are still learning

Submitted to WDYS #235

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy to get up despite kinda waking up at around 7 am when I could’ve got myself going but instead dozed until around 10 am. My body is aching in a good way.

Today I’m grateful for:

An afternoon storm today!  Hooray!  It was a bit of a surprise.  

Unfortunately, it also highlighted that the builders that came to fix our gutters in the garage have actually made it worse than before. Sigh.  

It seems impossible to get anyone to do a ‘proper’ job of anything here sometimes.

The best thing about today was:

Amy being out in the evening with Paew leaving me happily at home with the cats, Youtube and comics for company.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After getting up late and knowing Amy was going out I decided I would only have a light lunch and then get my favourite fish dish in the walking market in the evening.  I also figured I might buy another hash brownie to relax even further.  

Anticipating this had my mouth watering but sadly the fish stall wasn’t in the market today and the shop that usually sells the brownies was closed!  

Never mind.  There’s lots of time to enjoy everything.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

I spent the last ten minutes before getting up this morning contemplating whether to skip exercise this morning as even laying in bed my thighs were still aching from working out two days ago. 

But I forced myself and even though the app keeps giving me push-ups to do I just figured to replace some of them with arm curls instead. I did some knee push-ups though. Maybe one day I’ll be comfortable doing push-ups. 

Maybe. One day.

I took this picture because this is what our new gutter is like and it’s only now I see that it is so shallow that in big rains here it’s going to force water into the roof. I don’t get why they’ve done it like this. It’s just fucking stupid.

Endless Teapot – 24th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The bright lights of obscurity
Are following me around
But I’m the one doing it
You’re nowhere to be found

The purpose or the point
Discovered in the doing
And when one thing is done
There’s always more brewing

Submitted to NaPoMo

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy to get up but I’m enjoying the ache in my body from exercise. I’m already reminiscing about the lost time of this holiday despite actually being more productive than last year. I’ve got into the groove of taking it easy and am now feeling anxious about getting busy again in the next couple of weeks. Though I know well that I can deal with it easily enough.

Today I’m grateful for:

A brief small storm at around 7pm that whilst not hanging around for long meant a drop in temperature that even allowed us to turn the aircon off for a while!

The best thing about today was:

Tigger coming for cuddles about 7 or 8 times.  He’s getting more affectionate with his age.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I didn’t get a chance to read more of my book today as I ended up busy with other things.  I did get some comic reading in and a chapter from another book that I delve into every now and then.

Something I learned today?

A US senator was complaining that a bag of steel brackets needed for weaponry was costing 90,000 dollars.  A Chinese seller responded offering to sell the same thing for 8 dollars!  And the reality is that US Defence spending from Chinese sources has quadrupled over the last few years.  So the US military is becoming dependent on parts for war with China that are….made in China!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan a little more money so that she can get back to Chiang Rai as she is stuck in a village outside Chiang Mai at the moment.

I helped Amy moving around some furniture on the terrace as she wanted to change it up.  It looks good and change is good.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

Despite the last two days of not enjoying playing guitar I picked it up again for about 20 minutes and was a little happier with my ability.

What are my thoughts on growing older?

In the last couple of years, I’ve enjoyed the wisdom that age has brought me but recently, with the feeling of time disappearing too quickly, I’m pining for the days of boredom I used to endure as a teenager.

Too much knowledge is a dangerous thing? I know it’s just the way of looking at it. Perhaps I am bored now but don’t really know it?

It can’t be helped to wonder about being able to live your life over again but now I have to take a positive attitude with me with what remains.

I took this picture yesterday and along with other garden pictures sent them to Sharon and Rob.

Of Clay – 20th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The philosophy museum is empty

Its concepts all on display
Our idols enjoy five minutes
Our heroes constructed of clay

But when you wish away the bad
You’ll wash away the good
*The fool thinks he leads
He’s clearly misunderstood

Beyond all the shootings stars
Who are getting down and dirty
Time to sacrifice yourself
To become a god at thirty

Our idols had their time
Reconstruct our heroes of clay
The philosophy museum is open
Its concepts all on display

*quote from Tolstoy. Partly inspired by Existential Comics #546. Submitted to NaPoMo.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. Did some exercise again and thankful for it as I can feel my lazy muscles trying hard to pull my body together.

Today I’m grateful for:

Getting out of the house for a day as Amy suddenly came up with the idea to drive to Toeng, so after coffee, we set off, ate huge prawns in Toeng, cake in a rice field cafe somewhere, dropped by to see Wan in Chiang Khong, up to Chiang Saen for some snack shopping in the walking street, and finally a Maekhong riverside fish dinner before getting home 9 hours after leaving.

It was good to be out, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow and staying in!

The best thing about today was:

Having a quick video call with Hayden before our lunch was served.  He’d just come off a 20-hour shift with one of his difficult clients but seemed pretty chipper.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy is pre-menstrual so whilst she was pretty good today she also got a bit wild every now and then.

Something I learned today?

Crispus Attucks was an American whaler, sailor, and stevedore of African and Native American descent, who is traditionally regarded as the first person killed in the Boston Massacre, and as a result, the first American killed in the American Revolution.

I took this picture because…. cake! The photo was better than the cake.

Friday Antidote – 18th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Making Monday Friday
Smile through gritted teeth
The best day of the week
Comes down to belief

No day is hump day
Every one a joy
Waiting for the weekend
A folly to employ

So savour every minute
Life only starts when you begin it

Submitted to dVerse – Friday and FOWC with Fandango — Antidote
23rd Jun 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – folly

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty inspired after a good sleep.

The crying cats woke me up to feed them at 8.30 so I got up and did that but knew I wanted more sleep.  Back in bed and I eventually got up at around 11.30.  Hooray for a good long sleep!

I think I ended up sleeping at around 2am last night as I was reading comics til 1am and then listening to the Henry and Heidi podcast about Rollins Band.

Today I’m grateful for:

A guy called Pran.  He is Baipad’s mum’s boyfriend and he got in touch with me today because he wants to understand more about Baipad because they may end up all living together.

Baipad put us in touch and was ok for me to tell him everything.  I kinda understand why she doesn’t want to tell him directly.  Baipad seems to like him so I hope he is a trustworthy and good guy.

The best thing about today was:

Getting back to some guitar practice. This holiday has been on and off for me, not wanting to go out into the oven of my room in the afternoons.  But today I told myself to get back to it.  It was a struggle to play and I know that it just needs more practice and that the more I do, the better I will get.

I also told myself that I need to get back into exercise too.  I downloaded a new app to try out for motivation and will start tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Nothing wildly out of control.  I accepted that I woke up late and was even happy about it as I got enough good rest.  

At various times throughout the day Amy would order me to do something and I was in the mood to acquiesce without complaint.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

With Baipad’s approval I told Pran everything that I knew about Baipad’s experience and also gave my suggestions as to what might help her.  I also told him that I understood Baipad’s mum too.

Anchan said that she wanted to go to a friends house and bake.  I told her to stop thinking and get going.  Later on she told me that she had a good time.

Momo took this picture last week because I asked her to. With me is Baitong – a funny favourite of mine.

When Peace Is Treason – 15th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 18 Comments

This is our genocide so that makes it ok
We’re making money and making them pay
Never been the good guys, why start now
Doublespeak makes us believable somehow



Accepting that our morals are better than yours
Peace is treason in this world of wars
If you don’t agree then we’ll have to kill you

And when we need an enemy, you know, it’s still you



Blessed are we with the God-given guns

Bombs with the power of multiple suns

No longer left with any place to hide

Welcome to our wonderful genocide

22nd Jan 2026 – What’s Going On? – peace – New poems were asked for but as this is still going on (and slowly being forgotten) I think it needs to be said again.

Today I’m feeling:

A little slow to get going this morning but now I’m coffeed up and lesson planning so my brain is engaged.  Kinda don’t want to stop except I need to eat something!

Today I’m grateful for:

The weird Chinese tea that tasted like medicine but successfully cooled my mouth at the mala soup restaurant.

The best thing about today was:

Starting with a bang and feeling good winding down from around lunchtime until nighttime!  I could’ve gotten more done but things will get done at the right time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Baipad told me that she was hoping her mum would be sympathetic and understand how depressed she was after taking an overdose but whilst in the hospital she asked “Why don’t you just die?”  Jesus Christ.  I didn’t know what to say except that ‘I’m sorry’

Something I learned today?

Tibet is actually called Xizang.  Not even the locals have ever called it Tibet.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

After Baipad told me what her mum said I consoled her and advised her to tell the doctor as much information as she can about her situation and feelings.  She’s a little shy and scared to talk about this, preferring to hold it all in but it’s obvious that this is having a negative effect.

We dropped a case of beer to Goleng and thanked him for taking care of Amy last night after she drank too quickly and threw up around 7pm and passed out soon after!  Despite that she said she had a great time and everyone was laughing with her this morning.

I took this picture because today was the last day for splashing water for Songkran.

Circle Story – 14th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A silent sigh
as the last page turns
So many questions remain
The story continues evolving
Searching to explain

A sharp intake
of breath and
The tale keeps on spinning
On the shoulders of giants
Children’s awe-struck grinning

A soft fall
to the climax of the day
Eyes scan for a new dream
A sequel to the joy
That this day has been

Inspired by this post at htysdaily.com which was inspired by the same prompt that I used here. Also shared to NaPoMo.

Today I’m feeling:

Upbeat, positive and happy but a little tired (I think from blurred vision – or is my blurred vision from being tired?)

Today I’m grateful for:

The local weed shop being open today, splashing water on anyone passing by.

We now have two weed shops in the village!

The best thing about today was:

Dad’s larb pla for lunch, still hot from the pan and creating a perfect sweat for this heat.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was actually looking forward to going to SanKong for an hour or so, knowing it would be a joyous occasion, everyone having fun in a communal free-for-all.

After lunch, I went and sat in the aircon as Amy, family and friends were making desserts.  She said it would take a couple of hours and that was perfect.  Once they’re done we can drive to SanKong, I can hang out for a bit before going home, leaving Amy to keep drinking with her friends.

I soon dozed off and not woken up again until 4.30 pm, a couple of hours later than expected.  Amy was already into her wine and understood when I said I’d just go home directly as it was late afternoon now.

Something I learned today?

Yesterday there was a knife attack in Bondi Junction Westfield and five people were killed.  It’s an odd feeling for something like this to happen in a place that I’m familiar with.

I took this picture because I was actually expecting to have a bunch of photos from Sankong’s Songkran celebration today but I didn’t make it and I have a sore neck.

Kintsugi – 12th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 23 Comments

Her perfect features cracked
At time’s many trials
Cool, calm and collected
Thoughts camouflaged with smiles

Bluffing her admirers
A morning mirror does not lie
Putting on a face
Of a beauty, none could deny

Refreshed and worthwhile
No longer a broken cup
She strode into the day
Happily made up

Shared to NaPoMo
25th Jun 2025 – shared with dVerse Poetics: Building from the Broken

Today I’m feeling:

It’s still early but I think I feel a little more motivated than yesterday.  I’m lesson planning already and that’s going well, so it’s a good start.  

I think I need to be busy, doing stuff, to keep myself occupied.  If I get lazy and don’t move my brain and body I start to atrophy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The poetry folks who post prompts and ideas that inspire me to write.  I don’t know how many other people might think that I write quite well but I write for myself and when I look back at things that I’ve written I often feel proud and impressed.

I started a free poetry course at one site and struggled with the first assignment which was to write about yourself.  It should be easy, most of my poetry is about myself but when asked specifically to do it, where do you start?

Oddly enough, I ended up writing a poem today that was written for four different prompts but ended up being about myself almost directly and I will use it as a part of what I submit.

The best thing about today was:

Getting enough lesson plans done to feel comfortable that I know what I’m doing.  I can see the way forward to having enough done for the semester and working out what is needed for the rest of the year too.

Let’s hope that the students reach my expectations of what I have planned for them; otherwise I will have to do some quick revisions.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been happy to get a lot done today but have also felt a little annoyed at times, though not acted on, just in my head, by little things.  It was when I was watching TV, though, that I really noticed bad tinnitus in my left ear and it’s still bothering me now.

I’m not sure exactly what has brought this on.  I did play guitar for about 20 minutes but it wasn’t at a volume as excessive as I sometimes play.  Usually, the ear ringing comes and goes but it seems to be hanging around today.

Something I learned today?

Utopia will only open in the morning this weekend as they will all go and celebrate Songkran in the city in the afternoons.

A couple of days ago, I learned that Nick at Daytripper will leave for Australia, where he’s hoping to work as a barista in Sydney.  With him going, Art decided to close the shop completely as he is too busy to keep it going.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As I mentioned above I did get internally annoyed many times today.  However, biting my teeth through all that I did everything that Amy asked of me, particularly when she ran in from the garden with her skin boiling up in an allergic reaction to something.  I got her ice, rubbed on lotions and creams, and did this and that.  

She’s disappointed that she is allergic to something (probably the hairy worms), as when the temperature is good, she enjoys pottering about out there.

I took this picture because Fat Tig was taking a break, as was I.

No Hope – 31st March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A lottery ticket’s luck
To a loser’s life will suck
Muddling on through the muck
Hope is a waste of energy

Waiting for a winning hand
To cross the line in the sand
If it doesn’t go as planned…..
Hope is just poor expectation

These tragedies will never fail
To inspire us to rail
Against them, tooth and nail
Hope is a waste of time

Don’t just hope for the best
Without committing to the test
There is never a second’s rest
For the heroes and their inspiration

Submitted to Ovi Challenge – Hope

Today I’m feeling:

Much improved.  Almost normal even!  Is it a psychological trait of mine?  A mental quirk?  Does my brain make me feel ill when there are things that I’m supposed to do that I really can’t be fucked to do? 

And now, Sunday – usually the day before going back to work (which I love when there are students at school and detest when there aren’t and we are there just because we are supposed to be) but tomorrow is the first day of the holiday.  Has circumstance suddenly tricked me into feeling well?

It’s also weird to be annoyed at having five weeks holiday this year, a week more than last year, and this is because it is the worst time of year here for air pollution and five weeks in October would be so much more preferable.  But like I say it’s weird to be bothered about having extra holiday time!

Today I’m grateful for:

Uncle Nit next door who is helping us sort out some extra work that we need to connect up our drainage to the new drains being added under the widened road.  

Uncle also told us that he’s never seen anything come out of our drain so I’m not exactly sure where our wastewater even goes.

The best thing about today was:

Getting this message from one of my grade 10 students Miwkey:

I am impressed and enjoy learning in the teacher’s lesson. Since I studied with foreign teachers, I have never met a teacher like you. I’ve only encountered foreign teachers who use their emotions towards their students while not paying attention to the lessons they teach in the classroom.

I kind of understand what she means – I think there are many teachers who don’t and sometimes can’t actually assist with explaining some things and just tell the students that they are stupid and should figure it out for themselves. Sigh.

I do also ask them to figure things out for themselves but I’m going to guide them with effective methods that they can remember and reuse.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whilst at Utopia Amy called me to pick up some veggies at the market. When I got back she saw them and exclaimed ‘Noooo, not that one! Go back now!’

Luckily I was in a good mood and quickly went back and got the correct ones.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

More encouragement for students via LINE.

What word or phrase sums up this month?

Tired would pretty much be it. Is it that I’m tired after this busy school year? Because I invest so much of myself into it emotionally? It’s not really been that busy since Christmas.

Perhaps it’s a combination of that and missing the kids, the heat and air pollution and not really having any plans to go anywhere. 

But I did feel better today at least.

Amy took this picture because she wanted to show off her tamarind eggs. Unfortunately, she got a crazy teacher in the shot too!