Tag: Amy

Is life too easy? – 28th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Is life too easy? Why is it so difficult to be bored these days? I need to be bored to be inventive – to break the cycle of boredom. Wandering around looking for something to do. Perhaps a return to England would help me to be bored again?

Actually, by rights, I should be bored here. I don’t speak the language well, we live in the middle of nowhere, no music scene as such – why am I not bored? Not in the way I used to be at least.

I was thinking about what it would feel like going to shows again – perhaps I would be bored with that now? Been there – done that! I get my doses of youthful energy through my students these days – though I feel sorry for them, unsure of their futures – maybe just as I was unsure of mine at their age. Some of them have a fire inside and I don’t want to see that extinguished and hope I can be a minor kindling for them. Do I care too much?

Yesterday was a long day at Amy’s parents. I tried to drink bee but my stomach feeling sore and I couldn’t make it through the second bottle. Having not drunk for so long I felt light-headed with the first bottle. Amy’s parents provided great food which lasted through lunch to dinner!

Takky and Amy drank and drank and sang and sang karaoke with Amy’s parents. I felt surprise at Amy’s dad being 74 and still drinking through a couple of bottle of Regency. That’s some stamina.

I amused myself on my phone and a couple of bike trips to buy more alcohol for them, including a nice sun-setting ride along the new river path that we’d watched being built from De Lanna a couple of years ago.

Every time I have a holiday from school, I don’t want to go back but also want that routine of getting up and doing something.

Amy is talking more about going to the UK or Australia for extended periods and potentially I could stop working. I’m thinking I would stay in our cafe/teaching room and the local uni students could come and hang out and practice their English with me, just on a casual basis. It could be nice or I could just end up lazy too, and watch TV and read books alone.

Well, let’s see. Read back on this in the future and see where life took.

16th Jul 2025 – Since this time, I’ve continued to work and enjoy it more and more, so that even now, if I had the possibility to stop working, I don’t think that I would. Amy went to Australia for around 18 months but is back now, a bit more settled but due more to circumstance, with both Cap and her Dad being sick. Otherwise, I think that she would be off again.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Amy’s parents for preparing their house and food for my birthday yesterday. Everyone had a good time and it was a good feeling.

T.M.I. – 3rd October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

*So many things to be late for
How can anyone keep up?
Have you heard the latest
Gossip overflows its cup
It’s a big world of T.M.I.
Mindless work is just distraction
Just time for another meeting
To discuss avoiding action

*I read this line somewhere and was immediately taken by it and wrote it in a notebook. Then remembered it again when I was struggling for ideas and came up with this.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to chat with Bruno and Nut at our house. It was a pleasant afternoon with food, alcohol (not me) and coffee and cake. Nut seems pretty down-to-earth and straightforward. Amy and I like that.

Pay Attention – 29th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Are you listening carefully
To the big world around?
Are you looking where you’re walking
Or just staring at the ground?

Notice all the details
Little things easy to miss
Be grateful with all your senses
From which to bring you bliss

Breathe deep the air in thanks
Test everything you touch
Taste each gift of food
With the passion you love so much

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the buttery smell this morning as Amy prepares for a busy day baking cinnamon scrolls.

Today I’ve been feeling a little antsy though I’m not sure why. I think maybe yesterday I spent too long sitting and my lower back and thighs felt sore and then I woke up with a stiff neck again. I wasn’t looking forward to another day of sitting, whether at school or at House.

So, as I was going for coffee I decided to head to 22 Grams and read there for a bit, before heading to House. How lucky I am to be able to go to two cafes before even going to work!

There’s talk that we’ll have no holiday this time and that’s kind of a bummer if it happens, but as Dylan said, it’s not exactly like we work that hard anyway. He and George don’t put in the same sort of effort as I do from what I can see and I don’t mean that as a comparison but as a statement that for them they are very relaxed about their classes and the work the students put in. I can’t help myself being fully invested in helping my students.

Nearing the end of the semester, I’m relaxing too but even though I can sit around doing as I like most of the day, I would rather be able to do that at home. Having said that, I probably wouldn’t get as much done, such as reading, blogging or even writing this!

She’s Back – 27th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

I’ve had a long shower
And I’m snuggled up with a book
I can hear strange noises outside
But can’t be bothered to look

I’m about to fall asleep
The room is dark and black
That’s when the screaming starts
And when I know she’s back

She turns on all the lights
And dances around the room
Jumping up onto the bed
I hope she finishes soon

She makes me laugh and makes me mad
I’ll always love her to bits
But right now I need to sleep
And she’s really giving me the shits

Amy has turned much of our garden into a cactus oasis, not helped much by the long rainy season this year though. It was today I noticed that this delicate cactus was being held up by this tall ants nest, originally a stick in the ground. Ants will rule the world. They are also back in our kitchen building a small nest by the back door again.

Our neighbour’s dog, Tangmo, always enjoys coming to play but tends to go a bit nuts when he sees Kim Chi, who is usually behind a screen door inside her room. Today though, we’d just let her out when he decided to come visit and after a bit of chasing around the situation above occurred.

We worry that Tangmo could easily bite Kim Chi badly as he’s so much bigger and his barking and jumping around make her scared but usually, Kim will be the one chasing him away. Don’t fuck with our cats. Tangmo just seems to want to play but isn’t quite sure of the correct cat etiquette.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for LungChom and their delicious ice cream that I ate two bowls of last night in a state of overindulgence.

Feel good today after forcing myself to do my minimal daily exercise on the weekend (this morning is rest day so I did yoga instead). I also ate two bowls of ice cream last night – which were freaking delicious but perhaps a bit too much!

Oh stayed over last night, though I was in bed by then and didn’t see her this morning either. Amy is giving her a bread-baking tutorial. Amy also did a pre-order for her cinnamon buns and got inundated with requests, so much that she will be baking for three days instead of the planned one.

I listened to day 3 of the gratitude course this morning, which gave me two very important reminders. ‘I dismiss any thoughts that entertain feelings of comparison’ and ‘I embrace my journey because it is uniquely designed just for me.’ I think these constant habits of mine are slowly having the desired positive effect, though I am not particularly challenged these days, or at least I feel as if I’m not, which could also be because of these habits.

The semester is winding down now and I’m feeling pretty relaxed. I hope that students return next semester, as I don’t have anything else planned if we continue online and I also want to start my experiment with 2/9.

Last week I was getting a bit frustrated with my guitar playing but yesterday I got back into the flow, teaching me that it’s ok to relax, take a break if necessary and try again at another time. But it is not acceptable to give up.

I’m also working up the free time and courage to get back into learning the keyboard and music software and thinking about making songs again. I know I can do it but I’m also aware of what a time sink it will be.

Amy is still constantly frustrated with the situation in Thailand and I have to try and deflect or point out our positives so that it doesn’t get her too depressed. I am attempting to deal with the situation here stoically and I am happy to tell Amy that I am ok living anywhere in the world with her.

When she’s drunk, she will chide me with ‘you love it here, you can stay’ and whilst I wouldn’t say I love it here anymore than anywhere else, I am happily aware of how easy my life is compared to the UK and Australia. Even so, I will give it up if it makes Amy happier with herself and her situation.

The Week That Was – 26th August 1979

Writer’s Trick – 25th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Far across galaxies, I was taken
Flying towards the story’s end
A misdirection, a writer’s trick
On which the reader may depend

A cliffhanger chapter break
The reader left wanting more
Another leaf is turned
In this new world to explore

Better than a Netflix series
Read a book and chill instead
I wonder who will survive
And who will end up dead?

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for Amy’s friends who all ordered cinnamon buns from her when she posted online about them. She’s going to be busy.

Woke up this morning to Amy screaming ‘help’ and my name. I thought perhaps one of the cats had brought in a snake but it was just Cap and Tigger fighting each other again, clumps of fur scattered all about the kitchen and dining room. I don’t know why they have never gotten along. They tolerate each other but barely.

It wasn’t even 7 am but I got up and forced myself to do my mini workout for which I feel good for, right now. Must remind myself about this feeling each morning.

The Great Game – 18th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

*You changed a world that was never asked
Recycled governments and remade the past
Made a play to counter power
Deciding fates from your golden tower
The mountains rose, inspiring action
Chieftains rose, combined each faction
The games played afar, on a wooden board
But real people could not be ignored
The dust and dirt, unforgiving weather
The warlords waiting, patiently clever
All the money and power wasn’t enough
Against backstabbing, lies and bluff
The game was watched by others abroad
Their armies played for a new accord
The game continues from your home
Whilst the victims just want to be left alone

*taken almost directly from Stuart Laycock’s ‘All The Countries We’ve Ever Invaded’

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for Amy’s almond buns that she has been experimenting with and yesterday she got them just right. Yummy!

Tipping Point – 11th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s a tipping point, no longer equalised
Catch it quick, as soon as it’s recognised
Adjust the balance, time for compromise
An equilibrium now realised
There’s a boiling point where the flames are fanned
Control is lost to the waves of shifting sand
Change is coming forced by the people’s hand
Too little, too late and too old to understand

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for spending time out at Amy’s parents today and getting fed plus picking up some bits and pieces around town.

The Chaotic Era – 12th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Always searching for something stable
Hoping that tomorrow the sun will rise
Campfires warming wherever able
Tomorrow’s fire fills half the skies
The pyramid’s cauldron is bubbling
Predicting the future, obviously uncertain
Our civilisation’s end is troubling
And the kings pull down the final curtain

*inspired by an early section of the The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin

Gratitude Journal

I am do happy and grateful to go on a long bike ride (even with Amy complaining) and get lost and just take in the scenery. I need to remind myself that the earth is beautiful.

Second Chance – 1st August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Give me my life to live all over again
To make the same mistakes, to suffer pain
To break my heart into a thousand pieces
Or could I iron out all those nasty creases?

Do things better this second time around
See the wisdom quicker that I found
Grow up or blow up, find the balance
Realise sooner all my hidden talents

Inevitably I would end up the same
Wishing for another chance again
Got to live now because this is all I get
Walking towards something to discover yet

27th Sep 2024 – Shared to Word of the Day Challenge – second

Weight: 77.4kg

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this pizza Amy made today. For the workers who made the tortilla, the cheese, the Earth for its avocado and the salmon that gave its life for me to eat it.

We brought Tigger back from the vet today. His blood is still not right but they want him to come home where he’s more comfortable. He looks pretty sorry for himself and Amy and I are both worried for him.

Something these days doesn’t feel right. The situation here is weird at the moment and it feels like everything is on hold so it’s hard to feel too relaxed. Part of it is just being fed up with the situation but also, even just thinking about going back to Australia, even in ten years’ time, is already on my mind. It’s like I can’t enjoy it here anymore because I know I will have to leave.

I know everything in life is like this. Perhaps this is why I am not content. I need to get my mind back to enjoying what I can because I can’t change the way things are.

A Beautiful Life – 16th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Modern life is no poetic dream
Fancy words for reality unseen
Grey buildings, dull cars in commute
Dead faces in an old fading suit

Stray dogs barking at stray cats
Dead in the gutter, eaten by rats
Rice fields planted on broken backs
A pleasant vista for tourist snaps

Instagram cafes and beauty filters
Made by dollar-a-day immigrant builders
Sunsets on mountains, time to sleep
Poetic minds now sunken deep

The toiling hordes have no time to play
With words about their tortured day
No romance in their existence
The beautiful life kept at a distance

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have Amy here to take care of the house and cook for me. She is contemplating going to the USA with Takky for 3-4 months, so leaving me to take care of all these things. That will make me busy!