Tag: Amy

You need some kickin’, not just sittin’ – 28th August 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Busy day ahead but ready for it. Slept in the same position most of the night – must be tired out. Slept deep and well though – feel good – full workout this morning, proud of myself.

I do a lot – sometimes too much but the thing is that ‘I do’. Do something.

Gratitude Journal

I’m so happy and grateful for my deep sleep last night. I feel good.

To-do list

  • Keep that positive energy buzzing ✅
  • Full workout in the morning ✅
  • Compliments and awards ½
  • Blog posts and TCRAH recording on Sunday ✅

School on Friday was busy and rewarding. I had to take time out to talk to one student, Aon, because he was disturbing other students. He’s a good kid, pretty smart, but he can’t stop talking. After several warnings, I asked him to leave. He didn’t want to and I told him that’s OK if he’s not interested in my lesson but there are other students who are and he is stopping them from learning.

It was nice to see that everyone picked up on the gravity of this little time out. The rest of the class was fun.

Saturday afternoon Amy and I went to Mae Sai. I could feel that Amy wasn’t quite her usual happy self – but unhappy but a little sharp and direct in her conversation. She was happy again as we arrived at the market and quickly got to shopping and headed off to Chiang Saen for pizza. It was starting to get dark and I had a splitting headache.

At one point I went the wrong way and Amy got a little upset because I stopped and looked at Google Maps because I wanted to understand exactly where we were. She was right and I turned round and went in the right direction. The conversation died as I struggled to see the road but I wasn’t going to let Amy’s bad feelings affect me. I enjoyed listening to music and drove a little slower because I wanted to hear more.

Amy warmed up a little by the time we got home but I think by then we were both worn out and went to bed and to sleep. I was happy with the way I handled the situation and didn’t escalate any bad feelings. After all, it was only a slight issue. I think we understand each other well and we know our own, and each other’s, faults and behaviours very well.

Some might feel that our relationship is boring and stale but I think we are happy and understanding. I love this relationship so much.

Today (Sunday) I was happy to record two podcasts and sort out all sorts of little bits and pieces in my room. I’ll have to sort out those little annoying ants in there soon.

My days feel full but mostly without stress. I have lots of things I want to do but know I could drop dead tomorrow – really there’s no rush. It’s pretty insignificant in the scheme of things. I’m just happy to do what I’m doing whether it is interesting or not. I’m happy with this attitude.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #51 – 15th August 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from KIV Orchestra, Rolling Stones, The Malibus, Uz Jsme Doma, YUP, Buildings, Hard Ons, The Who, Lines, Tera Melos, Lashio Thein Aung, That Fucking Tank, Unsane, Teardrop Explodes, Rancid and Wyxz.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my yoghurt, muesli and Toblerone breakfast. Healthy body, healthy mind.

To-do list

  • Awards again
  • Compliments ½
  • Record TCRAH ✅
  • Blog post ✅

It’s the 19th of August today. I’ve been occupied and happy in general but also a little blurred at the edges. As I mentioned before I haven’t been thinking about thinking so much and have mostly been getting on with living and doing.

Occasionally I trip up and forget some of the things I’ve learned recently and sometimes beat myself up too much over it. This is usually relatively brief though.

I really enjoy being in class with the kids even to the point of joining other classes. Sometimes I still feel frustrated with the system here and the kids always playing with their phones in class. This is going to have serious consequences for those kids in the future. Well, at least it will be interesting to see how things turn out.

Amy went out on Sunday night and met Miche and her friend and that really cheered Amy up. She was happy to find some people she could relax with and just talk stupid girl stuff with. She’s not so comfortable with her old friends who now live completely different lifestyles to her. I know she is still frustrated here in general though.

Tomorrow we go into the hills to do some activities at another school. It should be a fun day and at least we get away to a different environment. Change is as good as a rest.

Poisoned with knowledge of good and evil – 3rd August 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Dream of sleep and shape-shifting snakes. Very tired – short fuse with drunk Amy last night – wore me out. Should I drink? Don’t want to much any more but feel at odds with Amy’s lifestyle. Maybe motivate her somehow. Not talked with her this morning, not sure what mood she is in. My mood is better but niggly, can push me over. Must try to stay calm.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can wake up in a more reasonable mood than the one I went to sleep in.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #48 – 18th July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from Lindsay Cooper, Unrest, Work and Play, Boss Hog, Sonic Youth, Code of Honor, Gas Rag, The Cichlids, False Prophets, Buff Medways, Fun Things, Fire Engines, XTC, Electric Prunes, Blues Inc, Thug, Arcwelder, Void, Makimakkuk, OMFO, Orthrelm and Park Ji Yoon.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my patience and care for Amy and for being able to turn an annoying situation into an ok one. I left her with Bee and George in the nightclub and tried to sleep in the car which was difficult but eventually, I ended up listening to music on my iPod. Listening to the Van Pelt and US Maple made me happy. Instead of thinking I had to suffer being uncomfortable until Amy was ready to leave I told myself that I get a chance to listen to great music.

British boys’ minds in a whirl – 9th July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Painkillers fog my brain – body feels relaxed but thinking gets mega tiring. Have to stay positive. George always positive – even if not inside. He’s too much sometimes – even though he’s right about many things – it puts me off depending on how I’m feeling.

Anyway – exercise this morning kicks me out of my laziness a little. I think I prefer my head to be straighter these days. Things I get to do can only be done when feeling straight. Beep beep – message. Amy crying out in her dream a lot last night.

What am I gonna talk about today? What can I achieve today? What are you thinking? Now or later? Now light sweat, aching thumbs – things begging to be done – but for what end. A sense of achievement? Purpose? Happiness? Trying to stay positive.

Will record some video today. Let’s see how I handle things. Stay positive.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be making videos again today. Sitting around doing nothing at work is ok for a while but gets boring.

To-do list

  • Post last two TCRAH ✅
  • Find more ‘school’ items ✅
  • Compliment someone – anyone! ✅
  • Silent positive wishes and ‘thank you’ mantra ✅
  • Record ‘Golden Age’ for Bruce if at home

Society’s glue bag smothers – 26th June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Looking forward to a good day today. Coriky on jukebox – don’t know song title.

Fun dream last night. Met Cake – she is still cool. Wonder when I’ll see her again. Muslim food – Yum.

Amy happy – friends moving near here – excellent news. Update Coach app – new habits – feel myself improving. Watched Sydney Swans game last night but that wasn’t fun.

Dodgy knee maybe okay now?! Realise last night that it’s not hurting anymore. Fix my toe next?! Hope. Bubble of hope. Rubber bubble of hope! Someone fix my neck forever! But don’t kill me I don’t want to die yet. Gonna happen any time. History – doomed to repeat it. Humans innit?

De Lanna by the river – enjoy your thoughts flowing by.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I spent time to put up our decorative lights last night. It was fun and they look cool.

To-do list

  • Compliment – silent wishes – savour ½
  • Finish audio for ‘good friends’ clip ✅
  • Get next blog post ready ½
  • Record new TCRAH in evening? ½
  • Scan photos

Now it’s Monday evening. The weekend was a little bit of everything and I was either lazy or too busy to write here but I’ve been feeling fine, getting things done and keeping my head straight. I didn’t get enough sleep last night though – it was Amy’s 41st birthday – dinner with her, her grandmum, mum and dad – and drama.

Anyway, I need to sleep so will come back and write more tomorrow, along with an updated checklist.

Our final day of freedom before students return to school tomorrow. The last two days have been lazy, hot and humid with nice bright sunshine. Though as I’m writing another storm has blown in from the mountains. It’s lovely to cool down but damn, that rain is cold and the air is still warm.

Feeling good again today doing bits and pieces for my blog, a little bit of video editing and drinking coffee. I cannot complain about my life situation currently. I’m happy to be healthy and able to enjoy it. I’ll try to maintain it.

We got that attitude! – 21st June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch the football in Australia from here in Thailand. It’s a nice feeling when your team does well.

To-do list

  • Visa in the morning ½
  • Enjoy drive and visit with Matt ½
  • More blog posts
  • ‘Thank you’ mantra ½

Damn, something happened to me on Sunday. I went to visit Matt and he showed me all his cool modular gadgets which was pretty interesting. After a couple of hours though I suddenly felt like I’d had enough and left quite abruptly. I didn’t really understand it – it seemed like it was time to go.

I got home and felt ok but perhaps a little odd. Amy came home and we got into a ridiculous argument over nothing so I went to lie down and breathe away the emotions. Then suddenly I felt super tired so took a shower and went to bed. This was at about 6 pm.

Apart from waking up at different times for about 3 hours total I slept through until Tuesday morning! I just felt completely exhausted and had a headache and wondering if I still have some residual pain from the work on my tooth (headache is on that side). I can also imagine this made me cranky on Sunday too.

Needless to say, I didn’t get much of anything done during this time. Now I’m having to run around to prepare things for my visa. Our annual fun week!