Tag: Amy

House Of Dreams – 24th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

What goes on in there?
Door ajar, window wide
Unholy noises emanate
Secrets unseen inside

Are there witches
Three crone sisters
That talk in tongues
And hypnotic whispers

A crash and a scream
There’s blood supposed
Suddenly the doors
And window closed

The shadows darken
And take their leave
Was it just a nightmare
That kids believe?

Inspired by the attached picture that reminds me of my own childhood home a little but made me think more of a house that as kids we used to pass sometimes at night and heard all sorts of weird noises coming from. Our childish minds formed ghosts and witches and we would run past as quickly as possible. A few years later and I ended up dating the girl that lived there with her wild and crazy mum and girlfriend and I soon saw for myself what was making all the noise inside. They were bat-shit crazy. It was fun for a while.

Submitted to Crimson’s Creative Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired and underwhelmed so far though I’m waiting for my first coffee. I haven’t been sleeping well due to discomfort in my shoulder and struggling to breathe clearly.

Today I’m grateful for:

That the AFL website now has a dedicated page for match replays where the scores are not displayed.  

Maybe they had it before but this is season is the first time I’ve found it.

The best thing about today was:

Realising what I can do for my grade 12 classes next year.  Last week Australia announced that they are raising the IELTS level for students from 5.5 to 6.  Already well above most kids level but as we were talking about it it reminded me of when I was teaching Chinese students online, preparing them for the Speaking exam.

So I figure why not use my class to prepare these kids and go through a different set of IELTS questions, discussing and preparing one week and then attempting the following.

It should be easy enough to find sample questions online again and it will just be a case of wash, rinse, repeat.  I love it when an idea comes to me like this because I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with this class.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Today has been pleasantly full. From coffee to immediately getting home and watching the Swans play well to beat Essendon, then straight out for buffet sushi lunch at a place we hadn’t tried before, to visit Cap at the vets and then a little shopping at Makro on the way home, straight into my room to play guitar and then to finally sit and watch some YouTube videos at around 5.30 pm.

I’ve been glad to be on the go for a change as I’ve not been moving my old bones enough for this last week or so and I’m feeling it.

Something I learned today?

I finally found out where to change the setting on my Mac to do a three finger window drag!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Amy hurried me along to not wait around with my morning coffee as I usually do today but thankfully I was up early enough to get back and watch the football with enough time for us to make it to lunch before she started biting my head off.

I’m happiest when …

Listening to music, reading a book, reading a comic, playing with students – when the joy resonates through my body bringing me to a point of savouring.  

Anything that triggers this is when I’m happiest and sometimes, if I remind myself, I can activate this feeling at will.

The Bridge – 20th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 10 Comments

The demons are attacking our integrity
The bogeyman is coming
Teeth razor-sharp

*We stand at opposite ends of the bridge
That we both hope to cross*

Unable to turn away from the pain
Manipulated and manufactured
Misused for another’s gain
Consent assumed given

*Taken from Joanna Chen’s censored article at Guernica – still found using the Wayback Machine
Submitted to dVerse – Look Sharp, Now!

Today I’m feeling:

Similar to yesterday in that I feel like I have an oncoming cold.

Yesterday’s trip to the hospital doesn’t seem to have fixed up Amy’s skin allergy so we’ll go to the city this evening to see her doctor who usually is able to help with issues like this.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s specialist skin doctor who advised exactly what she thought her problem was and prescribed medicines to help. Amy trusts this doctor and was much more upbeat after seeing her.

The best thing about today was:

Finding out which classes I will teach next semester. Some new challenges for me that have got me thinking already.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When Kru Karn first showed me my new classes I saw that I would teach my two most testing groups of students again. Ah well, I can deal with it, I thought to myself. 

As it turned out it wasn’t my classes and I found that I don’t have to teach them at all!

I haven’t exercised for over a week now due to not feeling well and also due to the toxic air. I don’t want to be gulping down big gasps of it, trying to catch my breath whilst exercising.

Something I learned today?

A Boeing employee was giving evidence in court blowing the whistle on the company (for what I’m not exactly sure).  Boeing’s lawyers asked him to stay an extra day to add more detail and answer questions.  However, the following morning he was dead by supposed suicide!  And he had already told colleagues that if he was ever found dead it would definitely not be from suicide.  Will corporations in the USA still be allowed to get away with murder?

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I messaged David that the new class lists were available so that he could go and get it from school and start preparing for next year too.

My vile deed today was cutting into traffic at the annoying traffic lights near the hospital. Minus a karma point or two.

Nothing new today so here’s Garfield again.

Faux Concern – 19th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Who determines the state of us turtles?
Is it those that pump poison into my home?
As if there is not enough for us to deal with
Better you didn’t exist and left us all alone

Submitted to Monday Poetry Prompt – determine, state, turtle

Today I’m feeling:

A little better.  I started to feel almost ok after eating some dinner last night. I wasn’t really hungry but ate anyway and glad that I did.  I struggled with sleep again last night but don’t feel too tired yet; I know that I really need to push through today and not take a nap so that I can enjoy a good sleep tonight.  Right now – 8 am – I feel like I have the start of a cold or flu again, much like I did last week.  So despite feeling better than I did on Saturday, I’m still on the edge.

Today I’m grateful for:

The hospital being close by and able to see Amy for whatever allergy is bothering her skin at 9 pm. Hopefully, it’s nothing serious but best for her to get checked as she has had attacks from allergies before.

The best thing about today was:

Playing lots of guitar although much of it was frustrating as I haven’t played much this week and I can notice the struggle I am having to get my coordination working again.

Something I learned today?

I learned what a cherita is in poetry. I will give this a go sometime.  I’m currently thinking about a cascading poem using a nomeansno lyric as a starting point.

Cherita (pronounced CHAIR-rita) is a linked poetry form of one-, two- and three-line stanzas.

Cherita is the Malay word for “story” or “tale”.

A cherita consists of a one-line stanza, followed by a two-line stanza, and then finishing with a three-line stanza.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I talked a little bit with my student Earn again and gave her some more encouragement as she figures out who she is and where she is going in her life.  As usual, it’s wonderful to watch these kids grow and mature.

How do I practice self-care on a busy day?

My days are mostly made busy by self-care!  Over the last few years, I have been bringing self-care to the forefront of my mind and I no longer mean this in a selfish way (as I might have done in the past).

My days are generally not that busy so the remaining time is taken up with self-care in the form of reading, writing, relaxation and thinking.  On a busy day, the actions are the same.  Each space must be filled with thought that ensures care for one’s self (along with everyone around).

I took this picture because the school cat Garfield was waiting for cuddles and rubs this morning.

Just A Friend – 14th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Being that she is someone who
Seeing makes me happy, the
Snowball’s chance in hell
A know-all’s what you are
But not everything is about you,
Shut up for a minute to
Hear the story I tell,
Clearly, it’s not about me
So you are the one who
Go and let me be my
Best for all of my friends,
Rest your head where you are

A golden shovel using Black Flag’s Jealous Again – “Who the hell are you to tell me who my friends are”, with bonus rhyming first words (mostly).
Submitted to Living Poetry’s Monday Poetry Prompt: Green

Today I’m feeling:

Better than yesterday for sure.  My throat is still a little itchy and my brain isn’t quite in gear but I have little to do at school today and can relax a lot.  Maybe I will even sleep in the dentist’s chair today.

Today I’m grateful for:

My new bridge that fixes my teeth up again until the next crumbling occurs. My mouth feels semi-normal again.

The best thing about today was:

Trying new coffee at Block Booster as Gui is in Japan for a week. The coffee was pretty good and the time flew by way too fast there and all of a sudden I had to rush to be at the dentist, who was predictably, running late.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I ran out of energy in mid-evening and didn’t get to write here or finish any Thai study. Never mind.

What does ‘home’ mean to me?

Home means safety and comfort.  

A little more obliquely, home is where my stuff is.  I can make a home anywhere.  

There was a period of time when, after living at ‘home’ with my mother for twenty-plus years I moved house more than ten times in the space of two years (including moving from the UK to Australia).  

Each of those places was home in some small way.

I took this picture because I had to take Amy to get noodles and whilst we were waiting the sun was a deep pink turning burning red through the smoky atmosphere as seen at the end of the soi.

Nobody Knows – 11th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 23 Comments

“Why does Spring once again offer its green clothes?”*
A break from the darkness, sprung from where nobody knows

Clinging to warmth on those dark winter nights
Hiding under covers as daylight dallies. Nobody knows

where the world is heading, these paths to be unmuddied
Always turning, the coming and going. Nobody knows

when the lights will turn off, green concedes to the dark again
Again, again – why the black dog barks, nobody knows

These clouds shower down a ridiculous rain
As I long for the green, now gone where nobody knows

*From Pablo Neruda’s ‘Book of Questions’
Shared with dVerse Meeting The Bar, a ghazal somewhat meeting the criteria!
31st Jul 2024 – Submitted to Moonwashed Weekly Prompt

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty bright and positive.  

My lower back is sore from sitting in the cinema for three hours and this morning a bit of tooth, or porcelain (I don’t know what is mine anymore) broke off whilst eating yoghurt and has left it very sensitive.  

I have an appointment on Thursday anyway so hopefully I can hold on until then.

Today I’m grateful for:

The positive feedback that I’m getting on some of my poetry.  I’m also grateful to have found many prompt pages and ideas around poetry forms which I’m enjoying trying out.

The best thing about today was:

Watching a group of various students, some of whom I knew, bonding together as there are few students around this week.  They were bonding by playing truth or dare and a drinking game, though with an assortment of soft drinks, of course.

Still, it is obvious to me where that idea will lead.  What can I say, that’s what we all did at that age.  You live and learn, hopefully without anything untoward happening.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It was a little annoying that all my first class turned up in the classroom this morning which meant I had to stay around for a while and babysit them, though I took time to visit the other classrooms too.  

All of them were lazily playing on their phones or making up their own ideas of fun.  

I managed to get out about 30 minutes early at least.

Something I learned today?

Britain mocked France and Egypt when they were building the Suez Canal until they realised what a benefit it was for them to be able to get to India two months quicker than previously, in case there was another uprising there.

When Egypt soon came unstuck and wanted to sell its share in the canal, Britain eagerly snapped it up.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I offered some emotional support to Praew who has become slightly isolated in her class recently. 

Also to Kwang who told me that her mum, who is in Bangkok somewhere, has blocked her phone calls.  I don’t think there is any animosity in it but it must suck to know that your mum is too occupied with other things to take your calls.

I took the motorbike for a little ride, sticking in some petrol and charging up the battery a little for Amy as she wanted to go to the market tonight but hasn’t been able to use the bike since it needing to be kick-started on its back stand. She’s too little to pull the bike up onto it though I reckon she could if she really needed to.

What is one thing I want to learn more about?

I’m watching a video about RipX DAW and reminded that I still need to learn more about using a DAW, particularly the one I already paid for (Ableton Live – which has been so long since I tried it that I had to look up what it was called!) and bought a midi keyboard to use with it.  

I’m really interested to do it but can see that it involves a lot of time investment that I don’t really have enough of at the moment.

Sarah took this picture of Ozone because she stole my phone out of my pocket as Praewa dragged me off to dance on the other side of the room. As she filled up my phone with pictures I only found three worth saving at the end of the day.

Bang Bang, You’re Dead – 9th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

With great spirit
She fought the world
Thought against her
Yet the world was indifferent
When she left

Submitted to Sammi Scribbles

Inspired by news this morning that one of my young female students didn’t come home last night and was seen drunk posting on Instagram. Her name is connected with the poem’s title.

Like all my troublesome students, she reminds me of myself at that age. We fail to see that others want to help us and believe that we know better.

I hope she is safe and that the title doesn’t become a reality.

Today I’m feeling:

Super tired. I slept for about ten hours and when I woke up Amy started asking me questions and I could feel that my brain wasn’t working yet. I couldn’t think what to say!

The air is thick this morning and the mountains are barely visible, my nose blocked and bloody. I guess all the talk of countering the air pollution this year can’t overcome the actual problem. Let’s pray for rain, for all the good that prayer has ever done.

Today I’m grateful for:

An evening out for a change, trying this new restaurant Friendcation. It’s a fancy, expensive, beautiful place. The owners obviously have money though we can’t see how they can make profit yet. Chiang Rai isn’t quite ready yet but in the future they could be perfectly placed to do well.

The best thing about today was:

Reading more about British colonialism in the afternoon. I’m really enjoying this book, though it is hard going with the language used. Once I get into the rhythm of it though I don’t want it to end.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy and I left the restaurant at about 10:45 and Amy wanted to go to The Hideout Bar to check it out. 

I was just tired and wanted to come home though. I didn’t see the point in us having to go tonight when we can go there at any other time to check it out. 

As I was the driver I came home and listened to Amy complaining to along the way.

Something I learned today?

I heard that Pang made it home after her friends heard that the police were going to get involved. Not sure what the fallout from this will be.

I took this picture because this was the pleasant Mediterranean garden environment for our dinner this evening,

Melt – 7th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

No melt off
Here in the tropical East
Hell’s getting hotter

Submitted to Haikai Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Exhausted despite a long sleep.  I don’t feel good after arguing with Amy last night.  Amy also doesn’t remember some of the things we discussed last night but just remembers that she’s upset.  

She forgot part of our plan this morning for taking Cap to the vet and heading to get the truck first.  It was annoying to me as it triggered another argument last night and yet was forgotten by the morning.  

I feel dumb even writing this down.  

I should be more patient, more forgiving, more understanding.  I should be better than this and I don’t know why I behave the way I do sometimes.  

As I was drifting off to sleep last night I was reminded of what I told Baipad when she was having problems with her mum, that we ‘save our worst behaviour for the people we love the most.’  I want to change that.

Today I’m grateful for:

My job and this school, today organising a great graduation event (at least after all the boring parts were completed anyway) for grade 9s and 12s, some of whom we won’t be seeing again.  

I could feel that the students were in a celebratory mood but also with a slight tinge of sadness as life will change for them all in the next couple of months, whether moving on to university, high school or a job.

The best thing about today was:

Definitely the atmosphere in the school.  It was a relaxed party time for everyone.  

I had a lot of fun with some of my monkey students and couldn’t believe what time it was when I thought about leaving.  A few kids were also keen to introduce me to their parents. 

Days like this make the grind worthwhile.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Only a couple of minor and inconsequential things that were easily dealt with.

Something I learned today?

Starbucks is having to lay off workers as the company is being boycotted for its support of Israel.  Good.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I took Amy (and Cap) to pick up her truck and she will take Cap to the vet.  Between us, at some point today, one of us needs to pick up her mum from the hospital and take her back home.  

If I’m available then I will do it, no problem.  However, as today is the M3 and M6 graduation ceremony I don’t know exactly what times I will be able to get out.

What moment from today do I want to remember?

I want to revel in the happiness that my grade 9 students were feeling for completing their first three years of high school. 

It hasn’t been easy for them or us as teachers as they were particularly affected by pandemic restrictions and having to study online for much of their first semester together.  It took them longer to bond and get into the swing of studying once back in the classroom.  

I can still remember them and their immaturity, slowly changing into young men and women, slowly figuring out their places in their world.  It’s a fabulous feeling and I really enjoy watching it.

Some photos will help me remember too.

I took this picture because Sarah is the funniest monkey. She was a problem to deal with in grade 7 but she found her way and can still have fun but also learn some things too.

With Art and Word – 6th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

With revolutionary thinking
We will knock down the wall
Of the Kool-Aid drinking
Prisoners in it’s thrall

Rise up from your slumber
Take up your arms
You are many in number
Hearing the alarms

Battle with art and word
Against the unfairness absurd

Submitted to dVerse – Slumber
7th May 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty positive though my shoulder is giving me some gip.  Something isn’t right in there and I can’t stretch or roll it out.  I’ve done very little arm exercising for the last couple of months and may just try and push through the pain to get back to it.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy and everything she does to make our house a home. I don’t want to take her for granted.

The best thing about today was:

My grade 10s not turning up for class allowing me time to organise another classes’ worksheets, staple them together and gift them back to the students. I felt good doing that, even if they just throw their work away. At least I made the effort to present their work back to them at the end of the semester.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I lost my cool with Amy when she got overexuberant whilst drunk. She was in a good mood and playful but I was tired and eating and when I didn’t know what she was doing as she tried to put her fingers in my mouth I pushed her arm away. Unfortunately that then set her off and blew up into a fight. Now we are both in a bad mood.

I will try to make her feel better but also just feel like going to bed and sleeping already. I don’t have much patience for drunken antics these days, I’m old and tired when it comes to that. It doesn’t fill me with excitement anymore.

Something I learned today?

2024 marks a special year for cicadas in the USA. It is the first time since 1803 that two specific broods of cicadas (one that emerges every 13 years, and one that emerges every 17) should be emerging together. This co-emergence won’t happen again for another 221 years.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

My vile deed was pushing Amy’s arm away and initiating a tiff. I should have been (even) more patient or be more assertive in a different manner.

I bought some cream chup-a-chups to give to my grade 9 students for their graduation ceremony tomorrow.

I took this picture because I got home to melting cats (again!)

The Storm – 5th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 11 Comments

Along the road, we met, orphans of the storm
Cursing the life to which we were born
Sitting on these steps, desperate and forlorn
Soon alone again, an orphan of the storm

Submitted to No Theme Thursday picture prompt

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but positive.  

Cap woke me up three times during the night, to let him in and out of the bedroom.  Another time I needed to pee and then the birds started singing and my alarm zapped me up.  

I contemplated snoozing but pushed through and struggled on with my intermediate abs exercises.  I felt good about that and the cold shower but then as I was listening to my students doing pairs reading I found myself tired.  

Fortunately, they were all called off for the second period to practice for the ceremony on Thursday to wish farewell to the grade 9 and grade 12 kids, giving me an extra hour free today!

Today I’m grateful for:

Max from Ad Interim contacting me again to see if I would like to help with their second album.  

I’ll give it a listen first but have no issues working with them again as they paid back their first album loan within six months of receiving their records.  

I’m extremely grateful to be asked to help them again.

The best thing about today was:

Nong Freya being the only student who came to my class today and still wanting to be taught.

I guessed that the class were practicing for the ceremony on Thursday and as she is somewhat excluded socially in her class I’m guessing either no one told her to be doing that or that she chose to come to class instead.  Either way, if she wants to study then I will teach!

Being just one-on-one makes for a lot of clarity and ideas to be shared.  I was able to see how she worked and thought about things (we were just doing a simple gap-fill exercise) and I also got to hear how well she can read, something which I don’t often get a chance to do in normal class time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As described here, there were a few surprises thrown at me today and I handled them pretty well.

Something I learned today?

You can hear a blue whale’s heartbeat from over 2 miles away. Their hearts weigh roughly 180kg.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I replaced the light bulbs in the garage and at the front of the house today.

I helped Amy by carrying some ceramic pots to where she wanted them in the garden.

I got pens for two of my forgetful students this afternoon, whereas normally I would deduct points from them.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  25. Take Action. Don’t just sit there, do something. Without action, there is no outcome.

I have followed this mostly, sometimes out of spite or contrariness, proving that I can do something, either to myself or to others and other times out of a desire to inspire; if I can do it then anyone can.  

All the action has amounted to me being here, where I am in the world.  Generally happy and satisfied.

I took this picture as a follow-up to yesterday’s picture as the flowers end up falling on my car.

The Truants – 4th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We found our place, a gathering stone
A place to hide and smoke cigarettes
To tell each other dirty jokes
And stories of first-love fumbled sex

Hidden away from prying eyes
Though all knew where we were
Once a month, rounded up
To the headmaster’s wrath incur

It was our heaven in quiet times
To laugh and joke and sing
Away from all the realities
That our wasted lives would bring

Submitted to Crimson’s Creative Challenge, inspired by the picture above.
11th Apr 2024 – Submitted to RDP Thursday

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty relaxed and happy.  A little tired as Amy kept me up late when she got home last night, tired and emotional, overthinking about family things.

Today I’m grateful for:

The jelly candies that I bought in Mae Sai last month.  I’ve been eating them myself because they are delicious but they are also a good candy to give to my students as treats.  They mostly prefer them over the fruity Mentos.

The best thing about today was:

Having my students read one-on-one and two-on-one in my classes today.  I was happily surprised by a couple of students’ improvement over the last twelve months.  I like this time of year for the relaxed attitude towards study.

I’ve thought before that it would be good if it could be like this all the time but when I think deeper it is perhaps because of all the pushing and hard work during the year that they have gotten more comfortable with their study.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In the morning Amy told me she wanted me to come home between classes to take Cap to the vet.  I wasn’t into this idea because I wanted to chill at the cafe, catching up on reading and also because with the change of plans at the weekend it meant driving to the city and back twice instead of once.  Her plan for today would’ve meant another two trips in one day.

I suggested it would be better to wait until we got the truck back and then she can take Cap at her leisure.  Thankfully she agreed to this idea before I left for school.

Something I learned today?

I saw a headline about a Palestinian mother’s newborn twin babies who were killed in an Israeli airstrike.  She had been waiting ten years to conceive.  

Zionists sure know how to inspire hatred.  This will not end well.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  24. Never Look Back Too Long. Reflecting on the past is only good for one thing: Learning.

I am taking a lot of time looking back these days as I go through putting information into this blog.  I am sometimes nostalgic but as the life lesson says, I am using this information for learning.  

I’ve almost fully given myself over to my students and Amy these days.  I’m less inward-focused in my day-to-day life even though I do do a lot of thinking.  

I’m happy where I’m at though not sure where I am going just now.

I took this picture of the flowering tree that I park my car under in the afternoons, in a vague attempt at keeping it cool. The flowers are pretty. I think I took a similar picture last year.