Good and positive again. I can feel that I have a better attitude and more energy in the days that I exercise in the morning and that I should also force myself to do this on weekends and holidays as I often just fall into laziness then.
Today I’m grateful for:
The little female (age indefinable) petrol pump assistant who double-checked what I wanted and then, after filling the car, gave me two bottles of water. She tried to explain about the water but I didn’t understand. I just assumed that they were free!
The best thing about today was:
Taking time with a couple of my troublesome students this afternoon and helping them get a better idea of a grammar point. I felt relief and joy when they started getting the answers right by themselves. I even managed to get a smile out of one of them.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My first class today with grade 8s was a little wearisome. Some days it feels like they just insist on not learning. I stayed relatively calm but inside I feel a little tired and deflated from it.
Something I learned today?
The single most expensive item for the British in the American Civil War was rum.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
We went to the temple again for some follow-up Buddhist things for Grandmum. I did as was directed though wasn’t sure about any of what was happening. In the end, we served monks food and everyone (except me) at lunch too.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO 3. Spend Time with People You Love. That’s your family and best friends. If you don’t have a family, create one. Most people in life are only visitors. Family is for life.
My tribe is my family these days. I’m not particularly close to anyone except for Amy and I’m fine with that. If I ever need to make new relationships they will come naturally from within my tribe.
The internet definitely has made things easier to stay in contact with my tribe, who are scattered all around the world.
Whilst the ease of communication keeps us together, our tribe survives apart.
Pretty good though it was a struggle to get up as I had enjoyed a couple of drops of cannabutter last night that knocked me right out.
Today I’m grateful for:
Go Nuts chocolate bars. They are kinda like Snickers but cheaper as they are manufactured in Thailand (I guess). They are smaller than a Snickers bar so I usually end up eating two at a time but even then they are cheaper. I still like a little something sweet after a meal, kinda just finishes it off for me.
The best thing about today was:
Spending a couple of hours in my room listening to new music and finding new songs to try and play on guitar. I also enjoyed being in the garden watering all our plants.
Something I learned today?
I saw a message posted to our department messaging group that there is something going on in the morning tomorrow which maybe means a change to our classes. I’m hoping to arrive at school tomorrow to find out my class is cancelled! It’s no big deal if it’s not but a bonus if it is!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I shampooed Tigger again just before lunch and he put up a little more of a fight this time but I managed to get it done without any scratches, thankfully.
As mentioned above, I watered the garden whilst Amy was enjoying watching a TV show and after that, I came in and fed the cats.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO 1. Struggle Is Good. Never say “I can’t take it anymore.” Say “Bring it on!”
This has taken me a long while to realise and embrace, although looking back I can see that I did this often.
I have a capability to endure certain things that others might not. Conversely, I’m sure others are capable of enduring things I cannot. It is the attitude towards this struggle that I embrace more now so that I might look forward to the difficult tasks.
I tend to visualise and actualise the feeling of having completed something and being able to relax, satisfied that I had done something.
When I was a teenager, so long as it was something I was interested in, I could start big, wild projects that could occupy my time and mind. These things didn’t feel like a struggle. Without realizing it I soon discovered that it wasn’t always the satisfaction of finishing something that made me feel good but just the doing of it. Over time this meant that I could take on tasks that were less interesting to me because I would just enjoy the doing, the struggle of them.
When I ask my students to write out a few paragraphs of text I enjoy taking note of those who complain and those who just get on and do it. This reveals a lot about their attitude.
These days, having a space that I love to rest my head at night, I can rationalise all discomfort at uninteresting tasks knowing that when the sun goes down I have a place where I can relax and do the things that are interesting to me.
Whilst I would rarely say ‘Bring it on’ I am no longer afraid of the challenges that confront me.
I took this picture because this tree’s red flowers turn brown before splitting open and revealing their seeds. This is the first time I’ve actually noticed the seeds inside.
A little tired but in a good mood. I’ve been waking up before my alarm quite often which is a little annoying as I know I’m not getting quite enough good sleep. This morning as I was dozing and waiting for my alarm to go off I wondered if it was because I was excited to exercise. That was quite an interesting thought for me.
I moved on to Intermediate leg exercises this morning and got through it pretty easily. I don’t think I can move up to Intermediate arm exercises yet though. I still don’t have the strength in my back, shoulders and arms yet and I’m still waiting for my right shoulder to fully recover before getting back into even the Basic exercises that I normally do.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the drivers that let me cut into their queues so that I could get to work a little quicker this morning (actually every work morning!). Traffic is getting busier and busier along the bypass now and the dumb traffic light systems they have in place frustrate everybody.
Anyway, I will let people in when I am in a similar situation and see other folks being in a hurry.
The best thing about today was:
Getting paid! But now I have to be really careful with the reduced payment again this month.
Can I stick to no more than two coffees a day and nix the third that I have every other day or so? Buy less snacks, no candy for the kids, no meat sticks for the pups….?
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As soon as I got paid I settled my account with Gui at House. That was just over 1000 baht! Gah!
He has offered to let me pay once a week before but I told him I didn’t want to do that because I can fool myself by only paying 130 baht a day, convinced that that amount is acceptable. But seeing 1000 baht a week…..that I can’t rationalise!
Something I learned today?
Today was Baitoey’s birthday. I only taught her a little bit last year and she was quite quiet in class but she is always friendly and playful with me since then. I gave her 5 baht as a gift because that was the only money I had in my wallet! My last 5 baht!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
My old student Noah was complaining about T. David this morning and then in the afternoon, after they had a class together T. David complained about Noah and her attitude. So I thought I would message her and see what the story was.
She said she has given up in his class because he goes too fast and she doesn’t understand. When she told me that other students do understand I encouraged her to ask them for help (though I know she has struggled to make good friends in this class). I told her not to give up and that I will help encourage her as much as I can.
Kru Ning talked to me a little after our classes about some of the grade 7 students we share as they sometimes don’t show up to her class, or do little or nothing whilst there. I confirmed that they were a little difficult to get motivated and gave her my suggestions though I struggle with them too.
It was nice to actually have a Thai teacher ask my opinion, or for my help, with our students. I guess usually they don’t because perhaps they don’t want to admit that they are in that situation or admit that perhaps a foreigner might have another angle or useful idea.
I took this picture because when I got home I found a package from Ryu in Tokyo with his Stacked State CDs and t-shirt plus his solo CDs. I will listen to them tomorrow. A weekend of furious fastcore.
A red light when there’s no one around What a dilemma for the righteous philosopher! “Go, go, go, go”, the passengers cried Out of nowhere, a truck obliterates them all
Pretty good. A little run down from a weirdly exhausting day and I’m not excited for the rest of the week. All my classes were simple but the last one of the day is always a little frustrsting as these impatient grade 8s want to leave as soon as they can. Me too!
Today I’m grateful for:
The plentiful snacks I have around that have carried me through my busy early evening with taking to the vet again for one more blood test. I’m grateful he’s all back to normal too.
The best thing about today was:
Having to take Tigger to the vet meant more time to listen to podcasts. The day has been good (apart from the news below) but nothing really stood out as being the best. Another day in a string of reasonable, positive happy days.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Talk is that for this coming holiday will only be ten days. I’ve already booked my flights to Australia and will be going anyway. It may mean losing some pay but no matter. David was quite disheartened by the news especially as last year we had four weeks holiday. I laughingly told him to fix his attitude and turn it around to ‘at least we have ten days holiday’ but I can understand his disappointment. It’s been a tough semester and he has the two terrible grade 8 classes that I had last year. It’s tiring for real.
After getting the good news that Tigger’s blood is back to normal I called Amy to give her the good news. In turn, she told me that along with Grandmum not eating, her dad was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer and will need to go for chemo. This will all put a lot of strain on her mum and also puts my travel to Australia in jeopardy. Bad timing but what can we do? I’m not so fussed about having to change plans or losing money on flight tickets but more dejected about the ever-increasing number of upcoming funerals that lay ahead.
What do I complain about the most?
As an English person I have no idea what I complain about because I am not conscious of ever doing it. Even I notice how much other English people complain!
I ‘think’ I don’t complain about much these days but now that I am writing about it I know the sad truth.
The thing I complain about most is my student’s behaviour. This I can accept as they are aged between 12 and 16 and I know what I was like at that age. It’s just behaviour, not the person. What I really would complain about is adults behaving in the same way. I don’t hang about many adults now pretty much for this reason. Other adult’s bullshit is tiring. They don’t have the excuse of being a teenager anymore.
And I know that the same criticism can be levelled at me too. Another reason not to hang around with adults. When I fuck up like that with my kids it’s all forgotten and forgiven in the same way I would do for them.
I’ve been really struggling with pictures recently as my focus has been more internally focused over the past month or so. Things within my vision are not catching my eye throughout these days of repetitive actions. I need to add some variety into my days to change that but I’m mostly happy doing what I’m doing. This has given me an idea though. Anyway, here’s another picture of the pup from a couple of days ago.
It was in the trees, in the air Its meaning was never clear Both here and over there Sometimes hidden in fear It was simple, it was strong It would never disappear Sometimes right and other times wrong Especially after having a beer Often spoken, sometimes just thought It influences its sphere Sometimes learned, sometimes taught Or born right now and here Never met a deer with no eyes They always seem to appear Born in imagination, in surprise Boom! – an idea!
The universe is what it is, not what I choose that it should be.
Bertrand Russell
Today I’m feeling: Content, relaxed Today I’m grateful for: The staff at the hospital that administered (paperwork and execution) Amy’s second rabies shot. Hopefully her wounds heal well and there are no repercussions. The best thing about today was: Today has been consistent and modestly good, from a bit of exercise, listening to an interesting podcast about the Slits, good coffees, a fun first class, taking Amy to the hospital, then lunch at Oasis, more good coffee, a fun second class, then to the movies to watch the second Avatar movie which, whilst not a great movie was better than I expected. What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? I had to run around for, and with, Amy a lot today and couldn’t spend my usual time writing and reading at House which I look forward to. Rather than feeling grudgful I tried to savour and did end up enjoying the whole day. Something I learned today? I mostly learned this last week whilst listening to Jello Biafra interview Dominic Davi on his Renegade Roundtable podcast, though I finished listening this morning. Dominic had had a stroke fairly recently and described the experience and aftereffects of it. I’d been thinking about it on and off over the weekend especially as I am now in the age demographic more likely to experience this. This morning I was reminded again about the BE FAST acronym. Balance, Eyes, Face and then the other things I forget but I reckon you’d recognise it with those at least. This is all well and good to assist someone else but I’d be worried if it was happening to me and I was by myself or unable to communicate with others around me as Dominic described. He was helped quickly be others recognising the signs. Well, this is useful knowledge at least though I hope it is knowledge that will go unused. Describe something you learned from your mother. I’ve written about this before but I think I learned patience, hard work, solitude and don’t-give-a-fuck-what-others-think attitude from my mum.
I took this picture because I gave my students in 1/7 a spelling test and with prep and repetition took about one and a half hours to complete but it was actually a lot of fun and I think the kids even found it a little amusing, some of them doing better than either they or I expected. This is also the only picture I took today!
The best part of today was being able to snooze my alarm and then when I did get up I sat with my coffee on the terrace, calm and relaxed. I’m so happy and grateful to have these opportunities.
6th Sep 2022 – I can’t find any information about Pretty Vacant being re-released around this time so not sure why it was in my mind as my record of the week. I had taped it off Top of the Pops earlier in the year (and again, not even sure why it was on Top of the Pops this year) and I smashed that tape a lot. I think it also included some Damned John Peel Session, I still have the tape here somewhere. I have the means to transfer my old tapes to digital but haven’t gotten around to it yet.
25th November 1979 Graeme’s a Christian 2p
6th Sep 2022 – This was a big deal for me at the time despite not really comprehending anything about what it might mean. Hmm – I wonder if he didn’t come to my place on Saturday because his parents wanted him at home on Sunday so that he could go to church, or if that was even just some kind of excuse.
Never having had any real intimacy with faith I’d gone along with what I was being told at school but there was none of that at home. Having been exposed to ‘Anarchy in the UK’, I was of course, immediately curious about what anarchy meant and the simple definition was lack of government and religion, so that seemed a good idea to me! As I later became exposed to Crass my feelings would become even more vehement.
26th November 1979 Make the tea 6p 2p
27th November 1979 Dunno > Naturally 2p
28th November 1979 Replacement watch comes 4 stopwatches Luminous 41p 2p
6th Sep 2022 – Pre-hi-tech, watches were a kid’s way of showing off. I think it was Danny Dowling who had the first digital watch in school. It was LED. Everyone wanted to see it. So, I wanted to one-up him of course and managed to convince my mum to get me an LCD watch, which I duly showed off to everyone to gasps of awe. However, I was learning my first lessons in modern tech and the thing broke pretty quickly and there were no jewellers doing repairs on such modern watches yet. In the bin.
29th November 1979 1. Dr Hook 2. Queen 3. DS & BS (Donna Summer and Barbra Streisend) 4. 5. 7. Madness 2p
30th November 1979 – 2p
1st December 1979 Get the Sex Pistols File. Got it Coventry 4-1 Ipswich 2p
6th Sept 2022 – The Sex Pistols File became my bible. I would stare at the pictures every day and wonder about the lives of these crazy people. I wanted to be crazy too. I started experimenting with my hair, got my ear pierced after a while and ripped up my clothes. It was so inspiring and out of this world yet it wasn’t out of reach like David Bowie or Queen or similar. The attitude really struck me and has stuck with me to this day. As a little scruffy kid out in the sticks of Dorset, I would start to annoy everyone, without even having to do anything. It led to tough times, struggles and eventually growth.
1994ever 