Another true story. Shared with dVerse Prosery and to incorporate the following phrase
What will I do there
without my hands upon
your summer face?
from ‘Oh Umbrellas’ by Jeffrey Hermann.
Bus Ride To Bondi – 15th October 2025
Tag: Australia
the long bus ride
Kintsugi – 12th April 2024
Her perfect features cracked
At time’s many trials
Cool, calm and collected
Thoughts camouflaged with smiles
Bluffing her admirers
A morning mirror does not lie
Putting on a face
Of a beauty, none could deny
Refreshed and worthwhile
No longer a broken cup
She strode into the day
Happily made up
Shared to NaPoMo
25th Jun 2025 – shared with dVerse Poetics: Building from the Broken
Today I’m feeling:
It’s still early but I think I feel a little more motivated than yesterday. I’m lesson planning already and that’s going well, so it’s a good start.
I think I need to be busy, doing stuff, to keep myself occupied. If I get lazy and don’t move my brain and body I start to atrophy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The poetry folks who post prompts and ideas that inspire me to write. I don’t know how many other people might think that I write quite well but I write for myself and when I look back at things that I’ve written I often feel proud and impressed.
I started a free poetry course at one site and struggled with the first assignment which was to write about yourself. It should be easy, most of my poetry is about myself but when asked specifically to do it, where do you start?
Oddly enough, I ended up writing a poem today that was written for four different prompts but ended up being about myself almost directly and I will use it as a part of what I submit.
The best thing about today was:
Getting enough lesson plans done to feel comfortable that I know what I’m doing. I can see the way forward to having enough done for the semester and working out what is needed for the rest of the year too.
Let’s hope that the students reach my expectations of what I have planned for them; otherwise I will have to do some quick revisions.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’ve been happy to get a lot done today but have also felt a little annoyed at times, though not acted on, just in my head, by little things. It was when I was watching TV, though, that I really noticed bad tinnitus in my left ear and it’s still bothering me now.
I’m not sure exactly what has brought this on. I did play guitar for about 20 minutes but it wasn’t at a volume as excessive as I sometimes play. Usually, the ear ringing comes and goes but it seems to be hanging around today.
Something I learned today?
Utopia will only open in the morning this weekend as they will all go and celebrate Songkran in the city in the afternoons.
A couple of days ago, I learned that Nick at Daytripper will leave for Australia, where he’s hoping to work as a barista in Sydney. With him going, Art decided to close the shop completely as he is too busy to keep it going.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
As I mentioned above I did get internally annoyed many times today. However, biting my teeth through all that I did everything that Amy asked of me, particularly when she ran in from the garden with her skin boiling up in an allergic reaction to something. I got her ice, rubbed on lotions and creams, and did this and that.
She’s disappointed that she is allergic to something (probably the hairy worms), as when the temperature is good, she enjoys pottering about out there.
Our Part – 26th March 2024
When judgement comes, what may you say
In your defence?
For every tiny part you play
Comes at some expense
With violence spent, you walked away
All of it forgotten
Whilst those you hurt were forced to stay
Sour and turning rotten
When judgement comes, it will be
Seen from your heart
For better or worse, you set me free
You played your part
A part in miniature, a part of me
Reborn stronger
My part in this is plain to see
And I will stay longer
Inspired by the poem Until Then (’till the last petal falls) by Michelle Ayon Navajas and comments there.
Submitted to Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge Miniature
Today I’m feeling:
Uncertain. I just looked in the mirror and felt old and worthless. Perhaps it’s because I’m not around the energy of the kids at the moment.
Last night Amy also cried that Thailand isn’t her place anymore and that she feels more at home in Australia. There’s a lot behind that but there is also a factor that I haven’t written about here because it’s a sensitive topic and the situation is ongoing. Needless to say, I understand her feeling, whilst not sharing it.
She also asked me if I would ever go back to England to live and I said no, which made me consider her position.
I seem to have really found myself here and just have no real idea what I would do with myself back in Australia.
Anyway, this is not a new feeling or thought and is not able to be actioned upon just yet due to having our cats and our home here, which we would need to sell. Sometime in the future though, it looks a given that we will be back in Australia.
Today I’m grateful for:
My student, Nong Aoi, who called me this evening as she was happily cooking and eating with her boyfriend and friends. Despite giving me big headaches last year enough to make me worry that she was going off the rails, she has calmed down a little now and is quite sweet and affectionate. I think it’s nice that my students feel comfortable enough to call me. I’m doubtful that they call other any other teachers.
Yesterday I also messaged a little with Nong Nam, who was Aoi’s accomplice in giving me grief last year. She has also matured a little more now and said that she really appreciates that I contact her every six months or so to check in on her. Sometimes it’s the small actions that make all the difference.
The best thing about today was:
Quietly reading 2000AD and Judge Dread Megazine stories after getting home mid-afternoon. It was excellent and I was savouring the time spent.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got a glimpse of my new classes from Kru Mai today and whilst he has taken heed of my reluctance to be involved with the Integrated classes for next semester he has spread me out into other high school classes which means figuring out new lessons to teach.
I would also not teach any grade 7 classes, for which I already have a hundred lessons accumulated over the last three years. Oh well, new challenges lay ahead.
Cappuccino is still not looking too good at the moment and doesn’t seem to be able to settle himself into a comfortable position, like there’s something not right in his hips or belly. Poking around doesn’t seem to cause him any discomfort but something is obviously not right.
Amy and I are both wary as it was at this time last year that Kim got sick and went to the vet a couple of times until that fateful day she didn’t come back alive.
Something I learned today?
In medieval Europe, mercury was used in medicine and manufacturing. Hatters were specifically exposed to mercuric nitrate, a form of inorganic mercury.
By 1837, “mad as a hatter” was a common saying.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent messages out to a few more students today to check in on how they are doing. I discovered that Anchan is having a tough time of things these days.
She has been living with her uncle as the rest of her family have been put in prison for an illegal online gambling website! She says her uncle is never around so she has to take care of the house and as she is not getting any money from her mum now she has to help her grandmum with selling things and gets barely enough to buy herself food.
And all that is taking away from her school work where, amazingly, she is still motivated to push herself and enrolling herself in extracurricular activities. She’s only 14 years old.
She asked for some help with information about exchange programs to Australia and I talked a little with Kru Champ about that as it is something he is working on in the future.
It’s frustrating to see smart, motivated kids trapped in situations like this. I hope she doesn’t give up and lose herself as so many teenagers can do.
No Haiku – 12th February 2024
I ain’t got not haiku for you
Fireblossom’s word engines
Experimenting poets shirk taboo
Sober rhythms scent intentions
The art blues of lucky zeroes
The coyote and fox so cunning
Wildflowers in the weeds are heroes
The lilies in this soup of punning
Submitted to the Word Garden
27th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – taboo
Today I’m feeling:
Better for all the sleep but my body feels a little like a pharmacy sponge – soaked in medicine. I pushed through a little exercise with a six a.m. wake-up and hope to get back to full exercise again tomorrow.
Today I’m grateful for:
The That Record Got Me High podcast for featuring Cardiacs this week. Their music is so familiar to me now but it’s always exciting to hear it again.
The best thing about today was:
All the students being in a good mood after finishing their scout week. The grade 9s in particular were happy because this was the last time they will ever have to do it. Tomorrow morning the kids celebrate Chinese New Year, another morning free of classes.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I got to House this morning the shop was shut. I still went in and played with Tokyo and gave her a snack but no one was around. I grabbed a coffee at Hobby Roasters to keep going and when I went back to House later Gui apologised saying that he had slept in after working every night at his restaurant last week. No big deal as there is other coffee around.
Something I learned today?
Israel is bombing Rafah during the Super Bowl when many North Americans may be occupied. But the other 90% plus of the world is not watching football.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 16. Don’t Judge. Just because people make different choices than you, they are not stupid. Also, you don’t know everything about people, so don’t judge them – help them.
I used to judge people who were straight and boring, those who did the expected and followed paths given to them by acceptable standards of modern society. I used to hold animosity towards them. I still do in some way but much more forgiving. So long as no one is pushing their agenda on me then it’s fine.
I no longer try to push an agenda on others. Lots of things that I did that went against the grain have become mainstream now. I was judged harshly at that time. I remember what it was like. My animosity and judgement was a reaction to that. Everyone has a story and sometimes it’s worth listening to.
Cuppa Freedom – 29th January 2024
Don’t tell the Yanks that they’re not free
That’s when they start killing you and me
What a different world we might be living in
If we had chatted over a nice cup of tea!
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good. I’ve called in sick to work so that I can go to the hospital to get my medicine this morning so I’m enjoying some Utopian coffees first.
Today I’m grateful for:
A quick stroll through the local walking street market with Amy to get some dinner. I picked up some of my favourite salad that I always bought when Amy wasn’t here and I haven’t had it again in the three months since she’s back.
The best thing about today was:
Getting in to see the doctor without an appointment and whilst waiting I needed to go to the bathroom and by the time I got back it was my turn to see him.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
At one point I was watching something on TV and Amy decided to start calling people on her phone. It was impossible for me to hear whilst she was chatting away. Never mind – guitar time! I headed off to my room to play.
Something I learned today?
My old student August (she who used to love dancing) told me of her interest in playing guitar last year. Today she sent me a video of her and a couple of guitar classmates performing (singing too!) outside Central Plaza. I was quite surprised and also jealous!
I wish I was young and unafraid like her. Learning something is easier when you are young and getting up in front of people isn’t so nerve-racking unless you are really shy.
Of course, I did that too when I was young. I guess I just want to be young!
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 8. Don’t Care About What People Think. We all die in the end, do you really think it matters what people think of you?
Kinda connected to what I wrote above, in many ways I’ve never cared what people thought of me unless I knew I was doing something wrong. When I reached about 16 or 17, something changed in that I lost a lot of self-confidence, though still sometimes ran on bravado, which never served me well. And from there it was an ever-decreasing circle. Somewhere along the way and slowly but surely I got some confidence back, especially when I started doing music-related things in Australia.
I’m reminded of one occasion when I was at the front of the crowd at Frequency Lab videoing Limited Express (has gone?)’s set. As there was no space between the audience and the band and only a one-step stage it meant being in the way of things a little.
Later, Dave Harris asked me about being there and I said ‘I didn’t care’ to which he was rather taken aback but I clarified that I meant that I didn’t care if I got pushed and shoved out of the way by the raging mosh pit around us all. Of course, most people will take care not to smash into people filming or taking photos and I would too, to a certain extent but ultimately if I had missed some shots or worse still, something got smashed then I would have had only myself to blame.
If people are not happy about something then they can say something.
This reminds me of another occasion when I was at the Big Day Out one time and a girl in a bikini top was on the shoulders of her boyfriend. This annoyed a few boys who were standing behind them but instead of moving somewhere else, where there was still plenty of room they thought it would be a good idea to pull on the strings of the bikini top to try and undo and embarrass the girl. On their second attempt, I stepped in and told them to move if they weren’t happy and they soon got the message.
Anyway, back to not caring what people think. Most of us will reach an age where this will just naturally happen and we’ll no longer much care. We get settled in our ways and remain the way we are. Some of us (myself included) will remain firm and polite in most situations whilst others will be curmudgeonly and unbending. I guess that depends on one’s character.
If I’m completely honest, there will still be some occasions when I will care what certain people think about me.
No Art – 22nd January 2024
We put down our brushes
In search of gold stars
Our stick figures meaningless
If we can’t get a pass
Our caves are now bare
Or full of the perceived good
Those words we told ourselves
Have taken away our ‘could’
No teacher or priest were we
But everyone laughed
Still, we lighted a spark
And cultivated our craft
Inspired by a newsletter snippet titled ‘Why you stopped making art’ from David Elikwu. Added to dVerse here.
Today I’m feeling:
A little more awake and active than yesterday. Feeling fairly positive but also a little anxious as if something might come along to get me down. On the edge.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the different options available for muesli to buy. I was disappointed to not find my favourite crunchy strawberry muesli today but at least there were lots of different options available, though somewhat more pricey. I took a mid-range option but contemplated some of the others for when I’m back in the black.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to take the foot off the gas a little with my classes today and stretch out the work so that they had more time to contemplate, share with each other and understand in their own time. Sometimes I expect and push too much so I wanted to make life a little easier for us all.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I made a trip to Makro because I ran out of yoghurt this morning but was disappointed to find they were out of stock. I had to buy a different brand to last for a few days before going back to check again. I sure hope they continue stocking it because it’s the best!
Something I learned today?
This journalling app is trolling me. It’s been 22 days of prompts so far of ‘What is something something something this year?’ Just because the calendar starts on the first of January a year is still a year from NOW, whatever the date. Why do I have to spend a month thinking about 2024? I’m always thinking about the future. I guess journal prompts do get repetitive anyway but I find this one particularly annoying.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I gave Noah some extra support and encouragement for her negative attitude towards Teacher David. She needs to stay respectful and at least learn from her experiences even if she’s not learning English.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
2. Don’t Complain. Complaining is the biggest waste of time there is. Either do something about it, and if you can’t, shut up about it.
This is something I have gotten better at over the years. Being English it’s an extremely hard habit to break. Moving to Australia in 1994 certainly helped as Aussies generally don’t put up with the stereotypical whinging poms. I don’t remember ever being called out on it but I think their positivity rubbed off on me in general and the fact that there was certainly less to complain about in life in Australia, or at least it certainly seemed that way.
When I meet English people now though I find their complaining quite noticeable and can also fall right back into it myself. It’s like a common bond we share. Because I’m conscious of it though I do try to stop myself and counter any complaining with a positive view in response.
Yes, life is not all chocolates and roses but there’s no need to go on about it. In fact, there’s no need to say anything. Even if you are still thinking it, just keep your mouth shut.
Just A Boy – 13th January 2024
She said we can forgive him
Because he is just a boy
As she picked up the bottles
Now empty of their joy
Without a thought or care
For the wider world around
When he needs to be somewhere
He’s nowhere to be found
Anyway, cleaning is for girls
A boy can’t do it well
It’s a privilege to clean the piss
Off the floor where it fell
Dressed in the body of a man
The brain never adapted
The childish mind, a selfish mind
Remains forever distracted
Will he ever become a man?
A real man of her dreams
She’s always doing the best she can
But never enough it seems
So, she sighs, this is her lot
To be a mother of a peer
When she weighs up what’s she got
Just what is she doing here?
Today I’m feeling:
Super tired even after an almost ten-hour sleep. I felt tired around 10 pm last night but was excited to read comics and eventually went to sleep sometime after 11. On waking I still felt dizzy and had a stiff sore neck, both of which are persisting even now as I wait for my first coffee.
Today I’m grateful for:
The kale that Amy has been growing and she threw a handful of it into my lunch of fried rice today.
The best thing about today was:
Reading Roald Dahl’s Boy about his childhood whilst in bed this afternoon and then having a crazy nap. Woke up feeling tired for the second time today so have done next to nothing.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Doing next to nothing felt out of my control as I lacked motivation and energy. Handled by….doing nothing!
Something I learned today?
I found out that there is a Das Damen reissue of their first record that comes with a bunch of extra tracks. I will try to find that for sure. I think I heard that they may be making new music too. Could be interesting.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Noey was back from her holiday and in catching up she talked about going to Australia and I told her she could talk to Amy for help with going there.
Zeigen, Schweigen – 28th December 2023
What this is, is impossible to say
Inscriptions to this page
Words stated, yet left unsaid
The knowing of the sage?
So much more was said
When so much was omitted
After all that had been read
And to memory committed
By appearance, the truth unseen
Let me show you inside
Scratched upon this canvas
There’s nothing left to hide
4th Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango
Today I’m feeling:
Great. Last day before five days off. Pushed through arm and chest exercises this morning that really tested my endurance. My muscles ache and feel good.
Happy to be at school amongst all the happy kids, though many have skipped today after all the excitement of sports day yesterday.
I left pretty quickly to sit and catch up with coffee. Enjoying being here but also want to get back to the party atmosphere. Everything is easy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The lady who served me in the 7/11 this morning. It’s a job, someone has to do it and she did her job. Thank you.
The best thing about today was:
Everything. It’s been a really nice day.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Yesterday I appropriated Fah’s phone whilst she was in the stands and I wandered off taking multiple random photos just to fill up her phone. I gave it back after ten minutes or so and she shook her head at all the pictures now on her phone.
So today, to let her get me back I unlocked my phone and gave it to her whilst I was playing volleyball with her friends. I got it back about 15 minutes later and forgot about it until I got home.
I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes scrolling through 100s of photos, deleting half, considering the rest and wondering what to do with them all. There are some nice shots in there, though many were just of Fah, Jet and Mai messing around pulling faces and not many of me and the ones of me make me look old, which I am (but don’t want to be!).
Phone cameras are so good these days that it’s easy to zoom in and see every line, wrinkle or sag on the skin!
Something I learned today?
Australia is wider than the moon, with a diameter from east to west of almost 4000km! But this is only when considering diameter and not land area. If you flattened the moon out it would actually be wider.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I spent 100 baht (of my last 700 baht in the bank) on some wafer snacks for my students’ Christmas party today. I personally handed them out to everyone and wished them a Merry Christmas.
After getting home I let Amy take a nap and took myself off to my room so that she wasn’t disturbed.
As I was walking around the school I caught up with Baipad, Jan and Apple twice and Baipad was sleeping both times. The second time I dragged her up for a walk and sat down elsewhere to talk with her one-on-one.
She’s a sweet introverted kid who is resisting the responsibilities of growing up. I gave her words of encouragement and sent her back to her friends, and probably more sleep.
How did my relationships change this year?
My relationships this year have been 90% with my students and 10% with anyone else. My relationship with my students evolves over the course of the year.
The kids I taught at the beginning of the year I don’t teach so often now and we have all relaxed into a happy friendly environment in classes.
With the new students I got in May we have all gotten to know each other to varying degrees in that time. These are the relationships I value highly these days.
My relationship with Amy changed slightly again this year as she returned to Chiang Rai from Australia.
In most ways, we are back to what we were before she left. We and our relationship with each other is very familiar. It’s not boring but sometimes predictable. That is somewhat of a comfort for me at this stage in my life.
I think it is also for Amy but she still has the energy to consider going off and doing things and perhaps still looking to the future. It’s not contentious for either of us, just a matter of fact of the different stages of our lives.
Dull Drone – 25th November 2023
Imagination once so bright
Turned toys into tigers
Battered to death with culture
That no longer inspires us
Today I’m feeling:
Tired and needing that Saturday morning sleep-in catch-up. Still stuck with this dry cough. My weight this morning is down to 78.45kg because of not eating much yesterday and no doubt contributing to my tiredness.
Today I’m grateful for:
Noey at Utopia changing my water to be room temperature instead of with ice after she noticed I was coughing a lot.
The best thing about today was:
A little evening ride around to check out new advancements in our little municipality.
Lots of new things going on and we ended up checking out a shop that we have been past many times where there are just a bunch of bean bags on a lawn with no cover. It stands out a little because the shop will have to close whenever it rains.
They serve some really simple food and speciality sodas. It’s a nice environment to chill out and is pretty popular now that things are back to normal after Covid.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Much of the day felt out of my control today but none of it was in a way that bothered me. Some days are easy to accept.
Tomorrow though there are things I want to do and I will push the time in that direction.
Something I learned today?
Hayden’s girlfriend Vashti will move in with him soon. They will have separate rooms so that they can get away from each other somewhat if necessary, which I don’t think is a bad idea.
I realise that it was at the age that he is at now when I moved to Australia.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
As usual I let Noey make my coffee at Utopia and despite it not being quite hot enough, it still tasted fine. I’m happy to let her improve her skills and be her taste tester.
After an afternoon snooze I was looking forward to going out to my room and playing guitar. Amy said ‘lets go for a ride’. Ok, I thought. It won’t be long before the sun goes down so there’s still plenty of time.
As we were riding around though Amy was looking for places to eat dinner. So even though it was now apparent that I wouldn’t be home soon, I happily rode us from here to there until finding a place to eat.
How do I practice patience and perseverance?
Well, as a quote-unquote ‘teacher’ this is an easy question to answer. I was fairly well practiced in patience before but even I have noticed that I have become far more patient these days.
As to perseverance I do remember as a child and teenager giving up way too easily whenever I found things too difficult. Somehow, possibly aligned with starting work, that changed. I started to enjoy working hard and to see a job completed, even if not always well done.
I believe I learned these traits from my mother who was always working and trying things. I’m grateful for that. Thanks mum.
Ghost In Place – 30th October 2023
Bursting in without knocking
A mountain of memories returned
Those days of confusion were shocking
And a heart left badly burned
Mentally reset by counting to ten
Big brother came to soften the blow
Remembering what year it is again
And closing that door, just so
Inspired by this story at Spinning Visions
14th Dec 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Ghost
Today I’m feeling:
Positive but a little tired and soft-sighted. Exercise was tough again but easier than yesterday. Still only doing one set for this week. Hope to get back to two next week.
Today I’m grateful for:
Seeing all my happy students again, giving me hugs, telling me they missed me, asking for candy! But most of all to Aunwar who brought me a piece of cake for my birthday! A typical, kind, Muslim gift. If only he was good in class! Haha! He’ll get there.
The best thing about today was:
Still being able to duck out after the morning flag-raising ceremony and sit in the cafe for a couple of hours before hanging out with the kids again at lunchtime, distributing the knick-knack gifts that I brought back from Australia and then heading home around 1pm.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Originally we were told that we had a whole week of activities but today I found out that we start our scheduled classes on Wednesday. Not particularly bothered by this and I know that everything changes all the time now and can better cope with these annoyances.
Something I learned today?
A Chinese airline passenger threw coins into the engine when they were boarding. It’s happened more than once and each time they all said they did it for luck and a safe flight!
What is my favourite memory from the past month?
Being in Sydney again and catching up with friends and family. The blue skies, green trees and purple jacarandas; old familiar smells, sights and sounds.
One particular brief moment stands out and that was walking over the new park at the end of Barangaroo, along the piers of the Rocks, under the bridge and around to the Quay.
Throughout my travels around the city were constant reminders of events past, who lived where, warehouses, houses and venues for shows.
My life, guided by the dull dreary boredom-brown of England, then expanded by the city and country relaxed-excitement of Australia and contemplated here in hot-humid jungle-country Thailand. It’s hard not to be happy.
What am I learning about life right now?
I’m in the middle of a ten-day mini-meditation Stoicism course and whilst it covers many things I have learned already I need to keep reinforcing these things and keep them in mind and transfer them to practice.
I’m also learning that I don’t have enough time for everything and need to prioritise some things. I can easily fill my days. Every day.
1994ever 