Tag: avocado

The Expected Surprise – 17th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Raise a toast from the bottle of heartbreak
Tears mist the eyes of dead teenage butterflies
These wounds become a comfort given time
Waxing poetic about the expected surprise

These are the happy things, preparing for grief
The painful goodbyes in the rear-view mirror
Bigger, brighter things are on the way to love
Slowly, gently, this will all become clearer

Butchered, mangled, inspired by this post at Spinning Visions
Submitted to #Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge Expect

Today I’m feeling:

A little lazy. I was going to get up with my alarm but still sleepy, Amy almost shouted at me from her bed, getting up, where are you going….? Jesus, let me wake up a little! I brushed my teeth, took a piss and got back into bed for another hour of sleep where I had a dream about us being able to drive on a piece of A4 paper as if it was a car!

Today I’m grateful for:

The trees that Amy’s mum planted on our land years before we came here and have grown to provide great shade from the sun but now have gotten so big that their roots threaten to cause problems to the foundations of our buildings.  We will cut four and I hope the remaining three will be able to grow faster and stronger to provide shade again into the spaces that will be left.

The best thing about today was:

Having a tidy garden again once the gardeners had finished their work, the smell of cut grass wafting through the house.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve noticed (again) that I don’t really like being in my man cave so much – it’s not quite comfortable for me and whereas in the living room of our house I feel like I am centred, in my room I feel like I am on the periphery. It’s only a remove of about six metres but it makes all the difference. 

I’m having to force myself to go there to get certain things done and figuring out ways to do other things back in the living room without having all my stuff scattered around.  This is a compromise of Amy’s return to our home.

Something I learned today?

An avocado is a berry.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I wished Noey a happy holiday as this will be the last time I see her at Utopia until next year.

I bought an onion in the local market and thanked the lady who commented that I spoke good Thai.

I nodded appropriately to the gardener who explained what they would do to our trees though I only caught a few words. I could understand the gist especially when he pointed at some leaves that looked like they were getting eaten by some bug.

I did the washing this morning, hung it out and brought it back in in the evening.

I shampooed Tigger’s head as he is getting the scabs again that he got last year around this time.  He wasn’t happy but accepted his fate well enough and of course, went outside as soon as he could and rolled around in the dirt again.  He really loves our home.

What changes did I experience this year?

The biggest change has been at home of course, with Amy being back in the house, cleaning up and bossing me around.

Other changes have been more subtle, such as my slow improvement to health and fitness. Also my adjustment in confidence when riding the motorbike since coming off it.

And if I look closely I can see signs of my skin sagging a little around my cheeks and neck as my I struggle with gravity. Even lying down can’t help.

I took this picture because here’s one tree down, and three more tomorrow. It’s going to look so odd for a little while.

Grasp – 29th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The future is heading faster towards me
Time is running out to get things done
But what exactly is it that I should be doing?
I must be serious but want to have fun

When did I stop enjoying my life?
I can’t remember when I last laughed
Satisfaction always seems beyond my reach
No matter how many times I grasped

Today I’m feeling:

I can’t say it’s been a good day but my feeling has slowly brightened since its beginning at least.

Today I’m grateful for:

The security guard at Central who didn’t move me on from waiting in the car outside the entrance whilst Amy ran in to get lasagna sheets for cooking lunch tomorrow. Thanks, dude. I saw you doing a great job moving barriers for the VIP car owners.

The best thing about today was:

A big sushi dinner in an odd little family cabin space near the city. What it lacked in amenities, atmosphere and Japanesness was made up with good tasting food. Makes me want to go back to Japan though. Nothing beats the real deal.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After Baew and Mee had gone last night I helped Amy clean up the room not realising they had broken a glass and I had just walked barefoot through its remains. Luckily no damage done. Amy and Baew had managed to get through three bottles of wine and they both looked droopy-eyed and worse for wear.

I went in for a shower whilst Amy stayed a bit longer to clean and listen to music. After I finish my shower Amy appears with a bleeding foot, presumably from stepping on some rogue piece of glass. But she’s also annoyed that I didn’t answer her calls from the outside room to come and help. I hadn’t heard her calls as I was in the shower so not much I could really do about that. She didn’t quite see it that way but angrily told me that she was fine. So I went to bed, I was so tired by now. 

In the morning I woke up and Amy wasn’t in bed and didn’t look like she had been. I went around the house and outside and the car was also gone! I called her mum but she hadn’t heard anything. I jumped on the bike and went around to her friend’s houses nearby and around the hospital car park looking for our car but no sign. 

When I got back home the gardeners had arrived adding to the confusion. Stranger still, Amy was in the kitchen doing the washing up.

Asking where she had been I couldn’t get a straight answer but her foot seemed to be fine. 

By now I was starting to feel wound up and angry. I didn’t know what to do. I took some deep breaths and tried to calm myself. 

Often in situations like this I’ve found that just carrying on as normal and not showing any emotion will help so I asked Amy if there was anything she wanted me to do today to which she said no so I said ok, I’m going for coffee.

This first coffee tastes very bitter.

Something I learned today?

I really am badly affected by the lack of sunshine. It gets me down more than it should. I wonder if I don’t get enough sunshine even when it’s sunny because it’s too hot to be outside. 

Anyway, these last two cloudy days have made the temperature more hospitable. I contemplated sitting in the hammock but still working my way up to it, preferring to sit in front of the TV instead for now.

I took this picture because the avocado tree is proving to be a battler after being brutally cut down by our gardeners.

Just Words – 3rd August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 12 Comments

I just want to play with words
Fumble them around my mouth
First, seconds and thirds
North, East, West and South

No serious poem is this
Just a pleasure for me to write
Pen on paper is bliss
Without them there is blight

The Week That Was – 31st December 1978

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the avocado season here, providing lots of fruit for us to eat. Hopefully one day our own trees do the same.

4th Dec 2025 – both our trees died, eaten by some unknown bugs. We have a new one growing but it will be years before it may ever fruit.

Tonight I have no extra online teaching classes as Maeve will do her IELTS exam today. She is very good at English but I think she will fail the exam. I am not really an IELTS teacher and don’t really want to be seen as one. I much prefer just to have conversations so that the students feel more comfortable and familiar with the language. This is what I’ve been doing with Ashley. After a couple of cancelled flights to Australia, it seems she may suddenly be able to go there tomorrow. We’ll see. Especially as Australia is locked down and China may be headed that way too.

I was thinking how much I enjoy speaking with those two and why I am more comfortable to chit-chat with younger people in general. Perhaps I’m envious of their naivete and the possibilities they have for their futures. It’s why I want to push my students in the classroom to be the best they can be and I hope I can follow their lives into the future and watch all their stories unfold.

Most people around my age, and even a couple of decades younger seem stale, boring or dead! Or, sometimes like myself, feel so superior in our hard-earned wisdom, feel we are better than everyone else.

I love to teach my students how to find the answers to questions, rather than giving the answers. This skill will serve them better in the future.

In sad news, Mee’s father passed away from Covid at the weekend after being in a coma for a week or two. The cases of death are having less degrees of separation from my life and it is a confusing time. I would like to be locked up in the world of my home, just to venture out for supplies rather than having to come to school each day. Even with no students here it just all feels risky. Along with the vaccines – who knows how that will play out.

It feels like we are living through real history right now but we fool ourselves that we weren’t always doing that before. History is what’s happening, as they say.

I really must try and compliment someone today. I try to see so few people that it has been difficult for me to compliment others. I don’t count complimenting my students, baristas or Amy. That would be too easy. And I’m not about the easy!