Softly on the summer breeze, the satin dress Illuminates the room as she steps into the Light, gathered at her chest, the guests Knew not to question the apparent apparition Eyes greyed blue and deep, she will Never be yours to keep, but still…..
Broken by all the glamour and gold Left alone, to suffer the weight of eyes Under the hammer, bought and sold to Everyone, where each time she slowly dies
Made to be broken, a businessman’s dream Failure point unspoken, a money-making scheme Shiny new things, a feeling that is funny A bottom line sings when rolling in the money
Today I’m feeling:
Reasonable. I’d like to go for a bike ride but it’s so hot with high UV plus the air is still a little hazy so views from up the mountains aren’t so clear. I feel like these April holidays are kinda useless.
Today I’m grateful for:
The step ladder that I use around the garden. Today, to cut back the vine and fold back part of the roof that got messed up in the last storm. It seemed urgent as the skies darkened and distant rumbling approached but then just as quick the clouds disappeared and bright a scorching sun came out. Looks like I’ll have to water again this afternoon.
The best thing about today was:
The neighbour’s kids all came into the driveway to ride their bikes whilst I was watering the garden and they all laughed and played when I sprayed them with water. They’re all between 6 and 9 years old. Full of life and energy, full of hope.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Came back for morning coffee to find that Cap had thrown up on my old 1984 diary and songbook. Perhaps not too much damage, though a lot of the diary was written in tiny felt tip which is already hard enough to read so there may be even more illegible writing there to strain my eyes. What can I do? It’s one of the reasons I’m working to get all this digitised as quickly as I can.
Something I learned today?
The 2nd biggest bank in the US has gone under. I don’t really know what this means, like what happens next or why it happened in the first place but it seems to be occurring often right now.
What has keeping a journal taught me?
As a daily habit, it has helped me get thoughts out of my head, whether good or bad and into paper. When I review these over time they give me an idea of my long-term growth.
I took this picture because I think it reflects my disorganised appreciation and annoyance with living in Thailand. It’s messy and uncoordinated yet looks appealing and attractive. This little stream runs at the back of the shops and market on the university side of the highway. The other side to home.
Suck up all the art Fill yourself with beauty Become a state of being Admit yourself this duty We need you here You’re needed now Your inquisition Inspires somehow
Within enrichment’s search Potential will be realised Corrosive forces negated Leaves creatives satisfied This is your art Your appreciation Forever fuelling Fires of inspiration
Today I’m feeling:
Surprisingly ok despite a lack of sleep last night.
Today I’m grateful for:
The traditional Thai brooms that I used this afternoon to sweep leaves off our paths and terrace. I’ve grown to like them over time. I used the prefer a hard sweeping brush but that wouldn’t be so useful for these leaves.
The best thing about today was:
Finishing my first class with about 30 minutes spare so I let the kids go and some invited me to play volleyball with them.
Later some of my students from my second class seemed in a jovial mood and happy to come to my lesson when usually they have other things on their minds.
Both classes were quite raucous but I was able to eventually guide them through and maybe even one or two of them actually learned something.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m still playing catch up on household chores and want to vacuum and mop the floors but I can’t get everything done. Or perhaps I’m just a little too lazy to knock it all off in one night.
Tomorrow afternoon I’ll have some extra time but I’m already thinking to go to Daytripper and chilling there!
When I’m thinking about things getting out of my control for this question I’m usually focused on emotional control and in general that has been quite stable recently.
Something I learned today?
I found out about a group of women called Codepink who have been protesting in the US against the war in Ukraine and against the sabre rattling and machinations of the war machine towards China. Good on them. Now they need to get the rest of the American people on board to convince their government against further escalations.
What am I thinking about right now?
The smell of cat pee! My students. Cat pee. Making the bed. Washing my hands. A snack? The smell. My own pee. My aching back. Today’s journal entries. A whole lot of thoughts about nothing in particular. My version of ignorance is bliss.
I took this picture because I’ve had to cover my mattress with Snake Brand Prickly Heat Cooling Powder in an attempt to cover up the smell of cat pee. I’m not sure how well it’s going to work or what side effects I might experience once laid down in bed.
The smell is overpowering. If there is a purgatory it is surely full of cat piss. Sitting and making video presentations over the weekend was reasonably enjoyable as far as having to do extra school activities goes though the conditions to make them were less than favourable and it wasn’t exactly made clear that we had to do them and why we had to be doing them there and then. In fact, it was my guess that it wasn’t necessary at all and by the end of the day nothing was said when neither David nor I had finished videos. I had already decided on what I wanted to do and that I would submit it later when conditions were more suitable. What has all this got to do with cat piss? One of our bastard cats (otherwise lovely) pissed all over my bed and it sank into the mattress. No matter how much perfume I sprayed on it and had beautiful new clean sheets it meant that every time I rolled over and awoke slightly that terrible smell brought me around and I started thinking about perfecting this damn video! I’m not sure I’ll make it – I suppose I could be doing it now. Well, that’s kinda my story for the weekend and despite only about five hours sleep I feel okay right now at 10 am. My first class was rowdy but okay. The kids were super happy to finish early and I went and played volleyball with them for a bit before their next class. I’m trying to figure out if I’m imagining the smell of cat piss or if it is somehow on my skin or clothes or just particles of ammonia stuck in my nose. I’ll have to figure something out for the mattress before sleeping tonight – I’d like to put it in the sun but worried other cats will come along and add to the odour.
8th Nov 2023 – I never made any video in the end and typically, nothing was said. None of the foreign teachers have been doing it so far. Keep smiling.
I am so happy and grateful that I got up early and decided to go for a ride. Despite bad sunburn, I went to some amazing places and saw so many beautiful things that filled me with such joy. So happy!
To-do list
Get up early and go! ✅
Get some more June blog posts prepared
More reading
Try the long meditation again
Jigsaw and Inner Engineering½
The get-up-and-go went exactly to plan and I was hoping that I would get back before it got too hot. Unfortunately, I didn’t get back until around 4pm and am burnt crispy, suffering burning pains on my arms and knees. The ride was incredible though.
My thoughts were filled with joy and I was savouring the moment so strongly I thought I might cry. I smiled and laughed at everyone I saw as I ran out of sealed roads and discovered many 10-house hill tribe villages as I went higher and higher. I joked with myself that I got tired of seeing so much beauty.
I’m so happy to have done this ride today. Tomorrow I hope I’m not in too much pain!
Oh, what beauty I wake with, wrapped in her smooth tentacles. A delight to behold in hazy mornlight. A flicked switch lets us ten minutes more ponder dreams just dreamt and what’s in store.
When finally eyes open full through sleepy dust Sandman left, I rush towards her lips to welcome the new day. Soon sadness takes her as she prepares her head for the assault of new studies. I humour her softly and we both understand.
My day away from her is frantic and if adrenaline could be tapped I’d sell you a barrel. When our paths cross once more she is chef and smiling in anticipation of our evening ahead. This cold old blown night sees us streaking off to pump iron with guys who’ve pumped iron too hard. We opt for more gentle affairs as rowboats, cycles and steps set our hearts a-booming in our ears and we leave satisfied we’ve fit ourselves in ten short minutes – but we are properly happy this first hurdle has been taken.
Dinner on laps we watch skaters ice skating for medals decided on some pompous judges opinions. Who shall so decide what is best? Let’s value each and every performance for what it is. I enjoyed it all, not caring about placings or pride.
Now my Broni sleeps dog day tired while I write away and wonder what else I may do. I do not wish to disturb her so I may just slide down beside her once naked and light turned off.
Goodnight dear reader; I hope you, too, find happiness as I.
1994ever 