Great for getting up a few minutes earlier, working out and beating the traffic to work. This morning, all the kids were in happy, playful moods, so it was a good start to the day.
Mondays are pretty easy for me, even with 5 hours in class, so I felt relaxed even though I had to rush some coffees and didn’t get much writing done.
Today I’m grateful for:
The students who have been dragged into performing a play this year. Most of them are my students, either currently or in the past. I was teaching next door to where they were practising, and they pulled me in to help them with some pronunciation practice. I felt grateful that they knew that they could come to me for help.
Even though I’m already busy, I offered to help them when I had some spare time.
The best thing about today was:
My grade 8 student Manow, who for parts of last semester was shy and wary of me, had her 14th birthday today and as I called her up to the board to do the last piece of work for the class, I announced (though everyone knew) that it was her birthday and we all proceeded to sing Happy Birthday for her.
She then shared out her cake, which she had been carrying around all day and as there were only ten minutes left for the class, it quickly got devoured.
She has warmed up to me a little more now that she realises that I am there to help her with learning. She’s not great at English, but I give her encouragement for her effort.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I got home, I was happy to see that the gardeners had been and things were looking tidier again (until you look closely anyway). I was appreciative that they had left alone the part of the garden I cordoned off and asked Amy to remind them to leave, too.
But then, Amy told me to go and look out in the drive, and there were the sad remains of two of our best ghost cactuses. Sigh.
Amy asked me to pay the gardener, which has left me well short of cash this month. I asked her to send pictures of our ravaged cactuses and to ask them to take more care.
Something I learned today?
Sydney Swans beat Geelong yesterday, and I was able to at least watch the 15-minute mini-match, though things weren’t looking good as we went six goals down and didn’t get our first into deep into the second quarter. Things came together after that, though, and things are looking positive for the future this season.
It’s kind of annoying that this season, when we are doing so well, is the first season I haven’t been able to watch the full matches. I’m still not going to fork out a week’s wages for a subscription, though.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I took Baipad a piece of Amy’s carrot cake this morning.
When I showed this picture to Jet, she said she suddenly felt hungry for fried chicken!
Better but still tired out. I took it easy with my first class but I was still exhausted by the end of it. No exercise this morning either so that is now five days without. I will try to do it tomorrow. I usually feel better in the evenings than in the mornings though. Let’s see.
Today I’m grateful for:
My former self of last week for planning ahead and quickly making up some cards for a quick vocabulary game with my grade 10s. I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to incorporate it in the class but I figured out a way to make it fun and engaging for everyone.
The best thing about today was:
Gradually getting my mojo back during the day and being able to not push myself or the students too much to stress ourselves out.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
With half of my grade 7 classes missing this week I’ve had to adapt myself to just playing Kahoots about the topic that we were on and making it as fun as possible whilst not putting any pressure on about punctuality and paying complete attention.
Something I learned today?
I forced myself to listen through a podcast of a couple of North American China Hawks discussing what the best way forward was for the USA to deal with China.
It reminded me that at the highest levels of Western governments, people cling to their ideology without growth or learning. Some of the commentary had me contemplating just skipping it but I wanted to hear more opposition to the things I believe and to try to understand where some people are coming from.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Anchan skipped my class today to prepare for a national (I think) competition for a speech in Thai. She sent me a message to say why she wasn’t there and I wished her the best.
She also reminded me it was her birthday today and so I bought some sweet snacks for her and her friends. They were so cheap that there were so many of them that when I got back to school and my next class, Nemo said that it was her birthday too and so I gave her one pack.
I later tracked Anchan down in another building and gave her the rest of the snacks. She laughed because there were so many but appreciated them too. Whilst I was there, many students wished her a happy birthday and I was surprised by all the people who knew her.
I can understand her popularity though. She is a smart kid who, in my own class, I have seen make friends with almost everyone, investing time in them (and calling out ones that treat others badly). I warned her once last year not to get dragged into the bad crowd and whether she heeded that or not, she worked out what was best and was still able to maintain friendships with them. I could sense what she was capable of and she has even surprised me with her skills. Except English!
I also offered to teach Baipad, along with Apple and Jan, during the holidays if they wished. I know that this will be a struggle to get them to commit to but also maybe get them to see that this is free education that they are being offered. It would also give me something else to do apart from playing XBOX for four weeks straight!
Who would I like to reconnect with?
In some ways, I’d like to reconnect with my school friends just to get memories and stories from them from when we were at school. It’s kind of interesting to discover what ever happened to everyone but at the same time, I don’t care that much either. That seems weird to write down but I’ve lived almost forty years without knowing what happened to everyone it just doesn’t seem that relevant.
I always want to connect with people in the DIY punk scene in South East Asia though and would love to find another kindred spirit in the same way that Kimi was. Parthiban in Singapore is the nearest I have but we’ve only been able to hang out one time previously.
I should also reconnect with folks in Australia, which I do do from time to time but I’m thinking I should chat with Swerve again as we spent a lot of time working on things in the late 00’s and had a lot of fun. There are also plenty of bands that I’ve worked with that I don’t have much contact with these days too. I should get back to that.
I took this picture at 7.14 am just as I was about to leave this morning. I was surprised to see clouds on the horizon and I shot this at the very first peak of the sun rising above them.
Looking up into the darkness of the night I could have been an astronaut exploring space Tuned into the Sydney Olympics that time I could have been the one that won the race
Trudging through the muddy fields in Autumn We were as soldiers marching off to war Or on the school fields, shoes for posts We were the team with the winning score
Racing Matchbox cars down twisted tracks I will be the one praised with champagne and girls The architect of the biggest castles And a new country whose flag unfurls
But would I always come out on top With the skills that I have got? I may not know so very much But I do know what I’m not
Pretty good. I notice that I’ve been waking up before my alarm recently and with my aching shoulder meaning a lot of tossing and turning during the night along with Cap wanting the door opened a couple of times to go in and out, I’m pretty tired too.
Today I’m grateful for:
Getting new tyres on the car today. I couldn’t really tell the difference but after five or six years I guess it was time.
The best thing about today was:
Having a couple more reading classes in groups of five or six again. It’s a lot of fun even though it means leaving the rest of the class to their own devices until it is their turn.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Just as I was leaving this morning Amy told me that after my first class, I have to go and wait at the car service place until our car is ready, which is hopefully before I’m due back at school! I was looking forward to spending time at the cafe, reading and writing but I guess it doesn’t matter too much as I can do that at the car service place too.
So, after class, I grabbed a takeaway coffee, went to Mum’s, picked up Amy and with a slight detour got to the car service. It was around 11.30 by now and Amy said they thought everything should be done by 12 so we sat around waiting. I did some lesson planning for a while and then someone came and told us that everyone was on a break now and that the car won’t be ready until later.
We tried to work out what to do next as I had to come back to school and Amy was off to visit Nut. How would I get back from school to pick up the car? Amy didn’t want to have to drive back to pick me up. I figured I could get a Grab from school though that would be a pain in the ass as it is really busy around the school at that time.
Whilst we were thinking about this they said that we could pay now and it was then that Amy discovered she didn’t have her credit card and would have to go home and get it and come back anyway! So I said that she may as well come and pick me up too!
So, I don’t know if that makes any sense but all in all it was a waste of two hours with absolutely nothing achieved from that running around.
If I had been the one that had forgotten the card I would never have heard the end of it and I gently reminded Amy of this fact, taking a minute to shine in the glory of not the one being at fault this time. I’m sure this will soon be reversed by something relatively inconsequential that I will be admonished for.
So, ultimately I handled it with smug satisfaction and a little bit of annoyance.
Something I learned today?
I learned that Baipad didn’t do anything special or get any gift from her mum for her birthday which is a bit sad to hear.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I like to think that remaining calm and adaptable to the situation described above was a good deed.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 19. There’s No End Game. We, as a species, just are. Don’t try to figure it all out. Enjoy your journey.
OK, I know that we just are, life is meaningless and I am still enjoying the journey very much.
But I also think it’s ok to try and figure things out as much as I can. For myself, not for the world. I just want to figure out how to make my world the best I can and slowly I see it improving.
Fah took these pictures because my phone was sitting on my desk where she was taking notes from my laptop screen. They were a surprise to me when I went to see what photos I had taken today.
What does it feel like to function? Thoughts turned to action The picture comes alive An outlaw in this society We lose life every day Yet art will always remain The air and the food In a world where it’s easy to starve
A little dizzy still and my sore throat is back, I think from the incense at the temple irritating my throat.
Today I’m grateful for:
This Thai family around me. Not without faults but somehow welcoming and inclusive for this idiot.
The best thing about today was:
I did get an hour of free time this afternoon and got twenty minutes of enjoyable bad guitar practice.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’ve been assigned a task this evening as part of the ceremony though I’m not clear what it is. I was just told to follow the others doing the same thing. I feel like a kid in a school play who doesn’t remember where to stand or exactly what to do and just looks around at everyone else and hopes no one notices.
(Later) Well, it involved some scooting on knees and wai-ing and I hoped didn’t look too out of place as the only white non-Buddhist in the room.
Something I learned today?
This was a couple of days ago but worth mentioning that journalist Gonzalo Lira died in a Ukrainian prison. He was imprisoned for reporting truths about Ukraine’s targeting of civilians in Donetsk both before the US proxy war and in the early stages of it. It’s just another nail in the US imperialist coffin that lies about freedom and democracy.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
In between classes, I came to the temple to support the family and after class, I came to collect Amy before driving us home and then back to the city again to pick up food for Grandmum’s mourners.
August (grade 8) came to my class today sighing that she misses her boyfriend (who broke up with her six months ago). I consoled her but later sent her messages to be strong and independent. She appreciated my words but I could feel she’s not strong enough yet.
August (grade 9) took this picture because she stole my phone out of my pocket whilst I was talking with Kru Ren. This is Sunwa, August and Pat, whose birthday it was today. 15th birthday I guess, though she behaves with a little more maturity than her classmates.
A little tired but in a good mood. I’ve been waking up before my alarm quite often which is a little annoying as I know I’m not getting quite enough good sleep. This morning as I was dozing and waiting for my alarm to go off I wondered if it was because I was excited to exercise. That was quite an interesting thought for me.
I moved on to Intermediate leg exercises this morning and got through it pretty easily. I don’t think I can move up to Intermediate arm exercises yet though. I still don’t have the strength in my back, shoulders and arms yet and I’m still waiting for my right shoulder to fully recover before getting back into even the Basic exercises that I normally do.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the drivers that let me cut into their queues so that I could get to work a little quicker this morning (actually every work morning!). Traffic is getting busier and busier along the bypass now and the dumb traffic light systems they have in place frustrate everybody.
Anyway, I will let people in when I am in a similar situation and see other folks being in a hurry.
The best thing about today was:
Getting paid! But now I have to be really careful with the reduced payment again this month.
Can I stick to no more than two coffees a day and nix the third that I have every other day or so? Buy less snacks, no candy for the kids, no meat sticks for the pups….?
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As soon as I got paid I settled my account with Gui at House. That was just over 1000 baht! Gah!
He has offered to let me pay once a week before but I told him I didn’t want to do that because I can fool myself by only paying 130 baht a day, convinced that that amount is acceptable. But seeing 1000 baht a week…..that I can’t rationalise!
Something I learned today?
Today was Baitoey’s birthday. I only taught her a little bit last year and she was quite quiet in class but she is always friendly and playful with me since then. I gave her 5 baht as a gift because that was the only money I had in my wallet! My last 5 baht!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
My old student Noah was complaining about T. David this morning and then in the afternoon, after they had a class together T. David complained about Noah and her attitude. So I thought I would message her and see what the story was.
She said she has given up in his class because he goes too fast and she doesn’t understand. When she told me that other students do understand I encouraged her to ask them for help (though I know she has struggled to make good friends in this class). I told her not to give up and that I will help encourage her as much as I can.
Kru Ning talked to me a little after our classes about some of the grade 7 students we share as they sometimes don’t show up to her class, or do little or nothing whilst there. I confirmed that they were a little difficult to get motivated and gave her my suggestions though I struggle with them too.
It was nice to actually have a Thai teacher ask my opinion, or for my help, with our students. I guess usually they don’t because perhaps they don’t want to admit that they are in that situation or admit that perhaps a foreigner might have another angle or useful idea.
I took this picture because when I got home I found a package from Ryu in Tokyo with his Stacked State CDs and t-shirt plus his solo CDs. I will listen to them tomorrow. A weekend of furious fastcore.
How to dodge all the cynics in the hall? Hope has the knives out against the thinkers Psyches ripped asunder of those held in thrall Long gone, the days the tailors danced with tinkers
Physically good but took me a while to feel better after yesterday’s tantrum. Listening to my student’s reading helped though. I started smiling when they tried and tried until they got the words right. Getting some writing done during the long break between classes also helped as it focused my mind on other things.
Today I’m grateful for:
Receiving an order for the Jornada Del Muerto LP from someone in the UK. Now I have to get my act together to pack it to ship there!
The best thing about today was:
Walking around school after classes and hanging out with students watching or playing their sports. It was a good atmosphere that I was happy to stay around for rather than dashing home.
Something I learned today?
China has introduced measures that allow Taiwanese people better access and integration into Fujian as a countermeasure to the US-led independence movement. The US doesn’t give a shit about Taiwanese people.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Despite being difficult in my class and me deducting points for disrespect, it was Baibua’s birthday today and I gave her twenty baht for which she was very surprised and grateful.
I congratulated Nicha for getting up the courage to talk to the boy she liked though she was disappointed that he didn’t show any interest in her.
What is something I hope to understand better?
Myself (is my obtuse answer).
Right now, it is the Thai language. I feel my learning has stunted a little recently or at least slowed. I do notice increased recognition and being able to read two words of subtitles now rather than one. I guess I’m fine with it. My brain feels like it is at capacity most of the time. Squeezing new things in scares me that it is squeezing old things out.
And, having said that, there are a million things I might hope to understand better
I took this picture on the walk up to LiKhai the other day because this beast was blocking the way with its half smile. Even if it was friendly I wasn’t keen to get near those horns or its back legs. We got by without incident thankfully.
It’s a labour of love, not big dreams But about what being human means Sticking a dollar in the cup, passing through This is all a gift from me to you And back again, that’s our reflection Open to each other’s introspection In for a penny, in for a pound Let’s pass the bucket of life around
Today I’m feeling:
A good vibe. This morning is not too hot. I lazily prepared for the day by rolling back and forth in bed due to stiffness finally getting up and mosying along to Utopia for a delicious throat-soothing coffee. Art told me about his ride to Doi Ang Chang and it looks like a great ride so I messaged Bruno to plan to go there next weekend.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s dad feeling good enough to come out to Central and eat at the seafood restaurant there, where we treated him for his birthday, Amy’s mum for selling her apartments and Nong Aun (Amy’s brother’s girlfriend) for getting a job as a teacher here.
The best thing about today was:
The first coffee was pretty spot on. Meeting Baipad’s mum, sister and three super cute cats was fun.
The fish speciality at Laem Charoen was delicious for lunch. The afternoon and evening are a relaxing chill-out. It’s been a good day.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My sore throat was getting me down a little at times today but I finally got to rest a little for an hour or so after lunch and it’s improved a little since taking some medicine. I dealt with it by soldiering on and despite feeling a little grumpy I don’t think it showed that much.
Something I learned today?
A theory behind renewed conflict in the Middle East is to cut off oil to China. A terrorist attack is said to be rumoured on US soil that will trigger them into war with Iran.
This whole ridiculous idea seems more likely every day. The US is putting all its pieces into play in preparation. The US is isolating itself more and more from the rest of the world and the rest of the world is looking forward to its downfall.
Whilst people were scoffing at the idea of the end of the Empire last year, this view is now going mainstream.
What’s on my mind right now?
This morning I will go and meet my student Baipad and her mum to introduce myself as her teacher. She lives in our village and since opening up to me about her struggles with being bullied in primary school and her father passing away a few years ago I’ve tried to encourage and support her. As she lives close by I suggested that once a week I can bring her home from school and hopefully introduce her to Amy so she can pick up on some confidence-building skills and keep up her English, which she is pretty good at in general.
I took this picture this morning because this oversized asparagus-looking plant is so big that I had to wide angle the shot to get it all in the picture. The multiple mini flowers are cute though not the spectacle-worthy of a stalk growth of this size.
I’ve no comment on what I remember The past is done and gone I don’t understand where I am now It’s not where I belong
And everything that was said Never made a difference anyway But at least I felt better That I had something to say
A thousand slogans were chanted Marching fists into the air rose When everything was said and done Still here the jungle grows
Today I’m feeling:
Happy after a positive day yesterday. With no classes again this morning I could just enjoy the first couple of hours of the Open House entertainment and all the stalls and I actually thought it was good and well done. I realise that I have changed my thoughts and feelings about some things and can see them in a more positive light.
Today I’m grateful for:
My old favourite student Cake, who is now in grade 9 and studying science to become a doctor in the future. She was a favoured student because she always had a positive attitude. She was already reading heavy science books when she was in grade 6.
Today she was managing a booth for her science program and I asked her to tell me all about it. At first, she was worried because she said her English was not as good as it used to be but after a brief consideration she said ‘Ok, let me try!’ and she did, very well.
The booth has the same things every year and I recognised it all from before but I let her do the spiel, including about different teas and their properties after I asked which was good for a headache. She told me and gave me a free teabag to try, which I will sometime when I remember to bring it in from the car.
The best thing about today was:
Only having to be around for a couple of hours this morning and not teaching. Again the kids were all in a great mood and there was a good vibe among everyone. I was tempted to stay longer because I was having such a good time but Amy and I went off to buy a fridge and a fan and we now have a drinks fridge and bar area in the dining room.
Amy is happily making the house into the way she wants to make her feel comfortable. Things are good now but how will they be when the burning starts again and things start to annoy and upset her more. I’m still hopeful she can fill her time with things to take her mind off it.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Not a big surprise but I’d been waiting to be paid by TLC and sent a message to my boss who replied that she forgot to tell me that the school deducted my payment as I missed some days last month for my travel. I doubt that very much but like I said it’s not a big surprise really.
Something I learned today?
Today was Kru Jern’s 33rd birthday and after finding out I quickly ran to the cafe to buy a piece of cake for her.
Write about a song that always comforts and understands you.
Most of the songs stuck in my memory were not through comfort and understanding but through depression and perceived adversity. I distinctly remember playing the shit out of the Descendents ‘All’ album and The Dicks ‘These People’ album when trying to deal with the trauma of my first dumping. In a weird way they were my comfort.
There’s many songs that give me goosebumps and maybe Volcano Suns Room With A View understands me. ‘All I want is a second or two to collect my thoughts about you…I sit for hours on end, for hours on end…’
Kru Jern took this picture because Kru Ren and I are both playing dress up here. He is a video game character that I’ve never heard of and I am dressed up as a teacher.
Always found in the self-help section 4000 hours to find perfection Never enough time to exercise the mind Because excuses are easier to find
Join the green tea and chai latté set Have you tried the ice baths yet? Tried everything but it’s never enough Taking deeper breaths than Wim Hof
Personal growth junkie experimenting A life lived always just implementing Tried until all the rules were set Died before all the goals were met
Title borrowed from a Spinning Visions blog post though otherwise unrelated
Today I’m feeling:
Flat but at a reasonably happy level. I’m not particularly thrilled about being back in my room as I feel a little kicked out of my own house. But I will adjust. I’ve thrown out a lot of stuff that I haven’t touched for the last two years so now the room is clean and more spacious, Amy allowing my bookshelves to remain in the living room for now.
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff at Mana Mala for making my mala soup, especially for me, even admitting they made a mistake the first time and even though I had to wait I appreciated their effort.
Also grateful to those who wished me a happy birthday today – Hayden, Bronwyn, Amy (duh!), Aunwar, Porpieng, Baitong (today is her birthday too), Momo, Fah and another student who I’m not sure who they are!
The best thing about today was:
Going back to school again, not having anything to do, so enjoyed a coffee at House whilst reading and writing, then a second coffee at Utopia.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
This afternoon I had just finished tinkering around with some bits and pieces in my room and lay down to read when Amy called from inside the house asking me to come and help her. I complained that I’d just lay down but came anyway and she promised not to ask me to do anything else all weekend to which I laughed as we both know that she will. I handled it with grace and humour and now I hope to read (though I can hear the neighbour’s kids coming to play….hopefully Amy sends them away!)
Something I learned today?
I learned that next week the students will have activities so no teaching just yet. Gives me a little more time to get back into the swing of things again. I only did one lot of exercises this morning and whilst it pepped me up I was flagging by mid-afternoon. I’ll get back into it.
What is something I need to let go of?
Nothing. I embrace the good and the bad. I favour the good and acknowledge the bad. There are some emotions that I could let go of but they are just emotions. I can experience them without letting them have a negative impact.
Over time now I’m expecting to let go of my attachment to certain things. As I age, my belongings should necessarily dwindle until they and I no longer exist.
Amy took this picture one week ago because we were enjoying our last night in Sydney. No new pictures today.
1994ever 