He was Biden time on the course The master of mischief will Trump us again Jumping out of the Bushes bedlam Oh! Bah! Ma – hullaballoo! Clint on his high horse “Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?” Will you pick up the gun?
A quadrille for dVerse – rumpus (I slightly cheated). Apart from the presidential references, there is Clint Eastwood of western movie fame and his classic lines from Dirty Harry. The final line references this Bill Hicks routine. The title is from this Black Flag song.
Tired but awake with a headache. My sleep was much disturbed by aches in my shoulders and arms due to my exercise this week, so I skipped it this morning.
I have a few things to do today connected with the SpeechOdd Malay tour and the Minnesota release and hopefully will play some guitar too. I didn’t make it to my room often last week.
Today I’m grateful for:
My village and the folks therein.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to keep going after a filling lunch and resisting the temptation to lay down. Before that, I had already gone to Sinthanee and got a new battery for the bike and picked up the fish at Betagro for Amy to cook for lunch. My two morning coffees seemed to keep the lights on in my body after waking up tired but not sleepy.
Lunch could have finished me off, though. My eyes were feeling heavy as my body was breaking down the fish and rice. I drank a bottle of soda and knew it was a bad idea to lie down with all that bubbling around inside me so decided to walk around the garden and on seeing our dirty car I decided that I could take it to the garage to be cleaned as we will drive to meet Mei and Hagen at Singha Park tomorrow for lunch.
Also, I thought it might be a funny catalyst for some rain as it hasn’t rained in the four days since we got the gutter replaced, so we still don’t know how effective it is.
On the way to PTT, where I normally get the car cleaned, I dropped into Utopia and asked if they knew a local shop that could fix the puncture on my car, and they told me that Art recommended the shop right next to the PTT. Easy. And I picked up another coffee, too!
At the PTT, they couldn’t clean my car immediately as there was a truck delivering fuel, and they said they could only do it after that had finished. No problem, I’ll go and get the puncture repaired.
In the shop the guy there got straight to it and within about ten minutes had fixed everything and delivered me a screw that had caused the problem. And only cost 150 baht. The fish this morning was more expensive!
As it was so quick, I went back down to the car cleaning place next door to Sinthanee, and they said it would be about an hour as they had a couple of cars in already. No problem. I could go across the road and talk with Baipad for a bit.
At Baipad’s, her mum was finishing off a customer’s hair, and NamHom was playing an online game and talking with the other player, her friend, on her mobile phone. Kids these days! So lucky. Her mum kept telling her to go and get Baipad from upstairs, but she was too engrossed, so I watched her playing and scoffed when she failed at the quest she was trying to complete, which, to my surprise, she was completely unbothered by; she just kept starting again without complaint. I would have thrown the phone down in frustration many times if that had been me when I was younger! So, I’m not sure how I feel about that. Is she not frustrated due to resilience or to a lack of emotion?
Anyway, the customer left, and mum forced NamHom to go up and get Baipad, and I asked her mum if it was her car outside and if she would like me to teach Baipad all the things inside, without actually driving anywhere. She said that that was fine but that Baipad was probably too scared to drive anyway and shook her head. I think she would like Baipad to step up a little bit with taking action.
And so talking of which, NamHom came back downstairs and started playing again, saying that she knocked on the door and told Baipad to come down. 20 minutes later, and no appearance. Her mum said that she was probably playing on her phone all last night and was still sleeping now and had locked her door.
She sighed, I sighed, but whatever. I walked up to Lotus and got some Curcumin drinks and went back to the car wash and sat in their waiting room from where I called and chatted with Hayden for a while.
Once the car was done, outside, inside, underneath and another 250 baht gone I felt pretty lively and inspired to keep going so, once home, got into my room and sent off a message to Unite Asia about the Speech Odd tour, wrote to Johnny in HK about the Bennu 12”s and whether he’d be interested in the Minnesota Pocket Circuit release. I also set up a Facebook event page for the Speech Odd tour and started to feel like I was really getting connected back in with things.
I was tired and dizzy but inspired again. I practiced guitar for a little while and then played along to a couple of songs until my amp cut out from playing too loud. Time to go back inside and relax.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was unfazed about things today, even Amy telling me to do this and do that, I looked at her with a fun mocking face.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I told the puncture repair guy that Art at Utopia had recommended him so that they both got some recognition within our community.
Being that she is someone who Seeing makes me happy, the Snowball’s chance in hell A know-all’s what you are But not everything is about you, Shut up for a minute to Hear the story I tell, Clearly, it’s not about me So you are the one who Go and let me be my Best for all of my friends, Rest your head where you are
A golden shovel using Black Flag’s Jealous Again – “Who the hell are you to tell me who my friends are”, with bonus rhyming first words (mostly). Submitted to Living Poetry’s Monday Poetry Prompt: Green
Today I’m feeling:
Better than yesterday for sure. My throat is still a little itchy and my brain isn’t quite in gear but I have little to do at school today and can relax a lot. Maybe I will even sleep in the dentist’s chair today.
Today I’m grateful for:
My new bridge that fixes my teeth up again until the next crumbling occurs. My mouth feels semi-normal again.
The best thing about today was:
Trying new coffee at Block Booster as Gui is in Japan for a week. The coffee was pretty good and the time flew by way too fast there and all of a sudden I had to rush to be at the dentist, who was predictably, running late.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I ran out of energy in mid-evening and didn’t get to write here or finish any Thai study. Never mind.
What does ‘home’ mean to me?
Home means safety and comfort.
A little more obliquely, home is where my stuff is. I can make a home anywhere.
There was a period of time when, after living at ‘home’ with my mother for twenty-plus years I moved house more than ten times in the space of two years (including moving from the UK to Australia).
Each of those places was home in some small way.
I took this picture because I had to take Amy to get noodles and whilst we were waiting the sun was a deep pink turning burning red through the smoky atmosphere as seen at the end of the soi.
My rats, my rats, my little gutter rats We ran together, we released the bats Our bondage brigade marched ever on We instinctively knew who was the clever one With cider right beside her bag of glue Hellzapoppin as all the young savages dü On mattress castles, the princess and the pee And stinking dogs shit wherever they be No glamour in this clamour drenched in sweat We know we grow to be the best ones yet D. cried about courage, and soon he was dead If the man doesn’t get you, he’s always in your head Nuclear ghosts haunted all our youth Marching in millions seeking some truth The sham in 69 was still in 79 too We loved in vain but knew that love was true And so those glories now dare not be repeated Angry eyes glared, “ever feel like you’ve been cheated?” That revolution sparked is now a faded glory Who now to stop the world with their own story?
People’s opinions are mainly designed to make them feel comfortable; truth, for most people is a secondary consideration.
Bertrand Russell
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful Amy got back to Sydney safely and is happily amongst her friends there again.
Forced myself to do exercise this morning. Good coffee next! Dream? George was in it but I can’t quite remember the details now. Enjoyed yesterday a lot. Will do again today right? Coffee time.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my passion to discover new interesting music. It takes my mind to do many different places.
Good five-minute warmup workout better than yesterday. Happy – feeling happy a little tired and sleepy but awake if not alert. Some aches from drilling on the weekend. Hurt hurt. Yawn. Did things and doing things – keep going – want to do more. Have things to do at school. No problem.
Enjoying life – reading, music, TV – looking at the stars – the rain – not so much the heat! I can’t stay happy. Amy is happy most of the time. We have our world – we only let the right people in.
Weight: 79.3kg Resting heart rate: 44
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I don’t have to do any work this morning even though the kids are back at school. I offered to do something but was told it was ok.
To-do list
Compliment – savour – positive wishes ✅
Post more TCRAH to blog ✅
Finish and audio and video ✅
Record more blog entries to catch up ✅
It was weird to have students around the school again but it was good to see some of my old students and they seemed happy to see me again. Lots of students showed their love for George and were very happy.
We ended up not doing anything again today and George thought we could get out for coffee if we really wanted to but I didn’t think that was such a good idea. I also offered myself to help with Teacher Champ but he said not to worry.
Anyway – I managed to cross off all my tasks today – reminding myself about complimenting people – JJ and Sheena.
I savoured my lunch as usual – but I put more effort into it. I also offered private best wishes to everyone though I could have thought to do that whilst stuck in traffic trying to get out of school. It took me an hour to get home today whereas it normally takes 20 minutes.
So, first day is done and we can relax into whatever it is that we end up doing. It’s good that there doesn’t seem to be much pressure on us even when we will have to teach. The environment here is very good so far.
I have been doing very short workouts in the morning, along with meditating, writing and language learning – all before going to work. It feels good to have achieved those things early in the day and it seems like they are having a beneficial effect on my thoughts.
Bronwyn told me that Hayden isn’t doing too well today. I didn’t have chance to call him during the day and he didn’t pick up when I tried when I got home. I hope he’s ok and pulls through all this.
Tomorrow, I have to renew my visa and not expecting any problems this time. It should be another simple enough day and anyway, I think I’m prepared for anything else that comes my way.
Music from Cause For Effect, The Fall, All, Non Compos Mentis, Unwound, The Who, Black Flag, Beau Navire, Maximillian Colby, Sir Millard Mulch, Thin Pillow, Volcano Suns, Angst, And The Earth Swarmed With Them, Empat Lima and Captain Beefheart.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for Sichuan pepper. Numbs my lips and creates havoc in my stomach but it tastes so good.
You solve the problem that caused the visible problem.
You avoid the problem.
When solving visible problems, it’s easy to signal value creation to others. If you work in a large organization with a regular paycheck, few people ask if the problems should exist in the first place. Instead, everyone thinks you’re indispensable because you’re so busy solving problems.
As you move toward avoiding problems before they happen, visibility decreases. Explaining what you do all day becomes harder and more subjective. Rewarding people for something that didn’t happen is very difficult. Thus, it becomes risky for the employee to avoid problems.
From Farnam Street’s Brain Food Newsletter
“If you work in a large organization with a regular paycheck, few people ask if the problems should exist in the first place.” Reading this took me right back to my old IT office job.
I really loved that job when I first started. It was overlooking Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Opera House. I worked my ass off to learn as quickly as I could. Years later I was rewarded with a technical administration position, which was better than it sounds.
It was a steep learning curve which involved a lot of testing, installations, maintenance, programming and 24 hour support. The product was a top of the range piece of software. It had just turned the year 2000 and money was flowing freely through the institutions that were supported. Work was interesting and fun.
Slowly, money started to dry up and upgrades were delayed. Often the users would demand it whilst their finance departments would not agree to pay for it. These battles went on consistently for about a decade. During that time all that I needed to do was to make sure the thing kept running. My typical work day could be over after 5 minutes of checking emails. So I made good use of the super fast internet, the office supplies and the printers.
Eventually they started replacing the product I was supporting with a cheaper alternative. Of course users complained because now their minor problems were turning into major problems. To save money, costed money. But it was more cost effective for my employer to pay penalties to the customer for fuckups than it was ensure the fuckups didn’t happen in the first place.
Eventually, after 13 years of arguing for better planning and products, sitting quietly doing my own things on company time, I was made redundant. It was an amazing relief to be honest, and it changed the course of my life. Much for the better, I like to think.
Now, wherever I am working, I can see the same redundant systems in place. The ‘work smarter, not harder’ mantra hasn’t managed to infiltrate everywhere as yet.
It won’t work, Won’t work no more….
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for our beautiful house. It feels like a home.
I am so happy and grateful to make friends with these puppies, even though they ate my shoes.
To-do list
Reply to Kieran ½
Catch up with Stoa and Daily Stoic ✅
Search more about TOEFL for Bruce ✅
Write a blog entry ✅
Get more CD cases finished! All? ½
An easy two-lesson day that could have been easily disrupted when I was told I could no longer use the library so I had to think quickly about new lessons which wasn’t too stressful.
I was pretty quiet today, still a bit tired from the weekend. I even lost my wallet at one stage but that didn’t phase me and I figured where it may have fallen out of my pocket and sure enough they had found it in the cafe. That’s the first time I have ever lost my wallet or anything out of my pockets. That’s a pretty good record but hopefully not a sign of things to come.
Things I could have improved on would be to not join in when other teachers are complaining. I don’t do it too much but it’s easy to fall into it.
I feel like I got a lot done today but still like I have a lot to do. None of these things are essential but one I do have to start getting on top of is the WDS tour so I’ll get back on to that tomorrow. I also start teaching Bruce online again so that will be a bit of extra cash coming in too.
“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on—it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance—unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 11.18.5b
I’ve never been a manly man. Well, I say that, though I can remember trying to be one from about ages 11-14. Then I started getting bullied a bit at school and realised I wasn’t ever going to be a strong boy physically.
Not me but you get the idea…
I retreated into my mind but taking resentment and bitterness there. I filled myself with seething hatred for everything around me, confusing what I considered personal injustice with larger injustices of the world. Everything was against us. It was us and them, whoever us was and whoever they were.
I dove head first into the moshpits of punk rock. Besides my mother, punk really was a rock for me to hold on to. Sometimes I clung too tight but eventually I found my way.
Justice and fairness are still amongst my top character strengths, thankfully along with curiousity and gratitude – those two came later.
These days I’m trying to calm my mind to bring some inner peace but the tunes of yesterday still rattle around from dawn to dusk. This inner noise is it’s own sort of peace, it’s familiarity calming, the anger gone.
Man is spelt big M.A.N. it’s the letters of the law, Man is spelt big M.A.N. that’s who the law is for.
– Crass
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the supportive teachers around me. They have helped me cover a lesson today and it was easy to stand once I found the right person to talk with.
You can’t learn what you think you already know.
Epictetus (paraphrase)
To-do list
Arrange someone to manage the class I miss. ✅
Make another blog post around an article. ✅
Ride bike to get a haircut.
More Coursera/another DIY article. ½
WDS – follow up on BKK and Yogya shows. ½
I’m starting to feel comfortable and relaxed at school. Able to deal with unexpected conditions, which seem to arise often. I still feel connected with the students but not so intensely involved. I will do what I can for them and try to prepare a good plan for them for learning but I’m going to over-invest my time, even though I do really love to push myself and always think to do the very best I can.
Without the pressure and expectations from the school for continuing with them next semester I am enjoying all the situations, good and bad, and I realise now that this is how I should try to feel all the time at work.
It’s just occurred to me this idea in opposition, of being a very organised person and having to work in a very disorganised environment. Instead of a strict organisation of ideas for lessons, I should have an outline plan and then be ready and organised for disruption. So, a good solid base to work from and then prepared to add on to it. Work smarter.
I talked a little bit with Kevin today and he was surprised at my involvement in music.
I also managed to complete deleting about 90% of my ‘friends’ on Facebook. Most of them are unnecessary for my day-to-day and if either I or they wish to connect again for any reason we are still able to but I’d like to think of myself using Facebook as opposed to Facebook using me. Communicating in short sound bytes is not effective and nuanced, becomes frustrating and just making me anxious about useless things.
I want to concentrate more on writing on my blog – that gives me a deeper satisfaction. It’s not particularly important if anyone sees it or not – I just want to go through the process, forge a habit, think better and ultimately feel better.
1994ever 