Always Going Home – 30th March 2024

Outside, the sheds, rotting,
With stores of coal
And wood for the winters

Stray cats brought their kittens
to the secret stash of beers
Stolen to curious teenage lips

The washing hangs from the kitchen ceiling
Dried damp infused with boiled pork
At least the rain can’t get in

There are Proustian moments
of potpourri,
The lotions on the bathroom shelf

Creaking stairs and creaking doors
You’ve been here for hundreds of years
Standing as a home

That scary sloping floor
Will it one day fall on those
grandparents sleeping below?

In my pit
Corners of dirt, carpets of dust
How many skins I shed there?

The icy windows stuck shut
I settle under covers thick with
this year’s sweat

My love of the comfort of your walls,
crumbling as they were,
Left when I did

Submitted to dVerse – Buildings


Today I’m feeling:

More reasonable today though still not breathing properly and have itchy tired eyes.

I slept for almost 12 hours though it wasn’t all good sleep but I was happy to at least have the opportunity anyway.  Getting up late meant that the day disappeared fairly quickly.

After coffee, I came back and watched some videos before a delicious experimental lunch that Amy made of roasted vegetable lasagna but instead of lasagna sheets using soft tortillas instead.

Then some more 3 Body Problem, more videos (I didn’t move much today!) then I made it to my room to play guitar but I wasn’t quite in the mood but still managed about 25 minutes.  My room is super hot in the afternoons now and I need to go there and play guitar in the mornings when my brain feels more alert!

I’m also reminded that I need to get back to my Thaipod101 lessons now that I have some free time again.

And also I want to do some study around active listening.  I figure that after 56 years on earth, I might actually start listening to what other people have to say!  Of course, I may find out the opposite too.

Today I’m grateful for:

The cowman from a couple of doors down.

This evening I was about to go out and close the gate and noticed something black on the grass.  On closer inspection, it was cow shit!  When did that get there!  We were out in the garden in the afternoon and it wasn’t there then.

I grabbed a torch and walked around the garden just to check that whatever visitors we had had gone before going to close the gate.  When I got to the gate it was already shut.  I figured that a cow must’ve come in and the cowman found it, chased it back out and closed the gate behind him.

The mystery was soon confirmed by our CCTV system – a mum and calf with the cowman chasing them out!

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s lunch and then in the evening, Amy’s delicious peach crumble with chocolate ice cream.  What a lucky guy I am.  Or was I just smart enough to pick the best person for me to marry?

Something I learned today?

Last year in the world happiness index, China was number 1, followed by Saudi Arabia and then the Netherlands.  In this year’s report neither China nor Saudi Arabia were in the top 30.  That’s strange!  It turns out that even though their data was collected it wasn’t used in the final report meaning a white Western nation (The Netherlands) is the happiest in the world.  At least, if you cherry-pick the data to your agenda.

Also, whilst watching the Netflix 3 Body Problem it seemed fairly obvious to me that the ‘China Bad’ narrative was highlighted intentionally.  It followed the book in that it was a Chinese woman who made contact with the aliens but as the rest of the series wasn’t set in China, as most of the book was, it bluntly exposes Western audiences to a message of ’look what the terrible Chinese did.’  Sigh.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent more messages out to students about their holidays. Checking in with them.

Paen sent me another message out of the blue talking about ending her life again.  I wrote back quickly but still haven’t had an answer.  I just sent her another encouraging message. I hope she’s ok.

I took this picture when closing the gate a couple of nights ago. Is this a blood moon or air pollution?

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #51 – 15th August 2020

Music from KIV Orchestra, Rolling Stones, The Malibus, Uz Jsme Doma, YUP, Buildings, Hard Ons, The Who, Lines, Tera Melos, Lashio Thein Aung, That Fucking Tank, Unsane, Teardrop Explodes, Rancid and Wyxz.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my yoghurt, muesli and Toblerone breakfast. Healthy body, healthy mind.

To-do list

  • Awards again
  • Compliments ½
  • Record TCRAH ✅
  • Blog post ✅

It’s the 19th of August today. I’ve been occupied and happy in general but also a little blurred at the edges. As I mentioned before I haven’t been thinking about thinking so much and have mostly been getting on with living and doing.

Occasionally I trip up and forget some of the things I’ve learned recently and sometimes beat myself up too much over it. This is usually relatively brief though.

I really enjoy being in class with the kids even to the point of joining other classes. Sometimes I still feel frustrated with the system here and the kids always playing with their phones in class. This is going to have serious consequences for those kids in the future. Well, at least it will be interesting to see how things turn out.

Amy went out on Sunday night and met Miche and her friend and that really cheered Amy up. She was happy to find some people she could relax with and just talk stupid girl stuff with. She’s not so comfortable with her old friends who now live completely different lifestyles to her. I know she is still frustrated here in general though.

Tomorrow we go into the hills to do some activities at another school. It should be a fun day and at least we get away to a different environment. Change is as good as a rest.