Tag: car

Ugly Duckling – 4th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I lied to myself for a long time
I always understood the truth
Under the twisted thoughts of mine
Born of the immaturity of youth

It’s always a struggle, always a fight
To keep the evil demons at bay
Complacency can be found in the light
And the beasts come out to play

Finally, I sought to reject these lies
Because I was slowly killing myself
I broke the bonds of the feeblest ties
And my mind rediscovered its health

Today I’m feeling:

Good and fairly positive. I woke up with a start as my alarm went off implying that I didn’t get enough sleep. I pushed through exercise knowing I was burning up some fat stores as I didn’t eat much at all yesterday, not feeling that hungry, and weighing in under 80kg again today. Throughout the day I was surprised at how well I was feeling and I put it down to the exercise I’ve been doing which inspired me to keep it up.

Today I’m grateful for:

The packet of Tong Garden jumbo raisin medley that I mix with a small packet of party snack mix to add some texture and flavour for a pre-dinner treat.

The best thing about today was:

Being greeted by so many different students, many of whom I didn’t even know, some talking to me about other students in my classes. Everywhere I walk around school students want to talk or at least communicate with me though they can sometimes get cheekily upset when I forget their name, though I might not have spoken to them for three months. I’m slowly starting to find where each little ‘gang’ hangs out at lunchtime so if I’m in the mood and have time I will happily wander around for an hour stopping for chats, play, and sometimes even learning.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In the morning I realised what I’d planned for my class today they had already done, so I quickly threw together a spelling test, 20 words open book and 20 words closed, along with a word search game for each.
I started the class with the word search but it soon became apparent that it was really difficult and was going to take longer than expected. As I wanted to do both word searches and tests in one hour I quickly jumped online and remade the second word search easier. Even with that though we didn’t manage to get everything done.
There are some poor students in the class who really struggle with spelling and a couple that didn’t write anything at all on the second one. I told them that it didn’t matter if they got everything wrong but they must at least try. One student did indeed get every word wrong but I could tell from what she’d written that she was at least listening and trying. That’s what I prefer, especially as opposed to some others who just copied from their friends.

Something I learned today?

I learned that two of my favourite students had a falling out a few weeks ago and I was a little surprised by it at first but on reflection it’s pretty normal for kids this age. I heard both their stories but couldn’t really get to the bottom of it and either way, I still love them both for who they are with me.

In the morning I had been updating blog entries from 1984 and was disparaging towards Rupert with whom I had been friends with just a week or two before and unfriendly a month or two before that. At that time I was a couple of years older than these two students today, which goes to show how immature I was at then despite hearing how mature I seemed from other people.

What do I hope to experience some day?

Sometimes I miss that feeling of excitement and discovery of new love but it’s been so long and I guess I’m somewhat jaded, just by my age, that if the situation ever arises again I doubt the feeling will be the same. Really, I prefer the feeling I have now anyway, of ongoing love, trust and satisfaction.

I’m avoiding the question. 

Have I had all my experiences already? I’m barely shocked or surprised at anything these days. I’m appreciative of being appreciated or rewarded with kind words or even awards but they don’t emotionally charge me at all. I feel like I’m just doing what I do. 

I guess I could do some thrill-seeking or travelling. But ultimately everything boils down to the same thing. Being in one place is much like being in another.

Okay, I hope to experience continuing happiness with my little Amy wherever we are in the world. I hope I can take my current feeling of contentment with me in whatever is next in my life.

I took this picture because this shy little cat often sleeps in the shade of my car whilst I’m drinking coffee at House. It’s too nervous for petting though.

Cleitus – 28th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

My saviour come, rescue me
We’ll sit and drink as friends
Until a change of direction flows
Towards the most deadly ends
In a rage, a spear picked up
Stabbed through the heart that breaks
A friend now forever dead
Another left living with his mistakes

Today I’m feeling:

A little refreshed though a little slow to go. A delicious sleep-in this morning occasionally broken by light pouring in and cats crying to be fed. Two Utopia coffees have me buzzing. It’s almost a shame that I still have to go to school for a couple of hours. I’ve never been able to feel comfortable with spending free time before going to work. I’m more of a get-up-and-get-to-work person. Get it over and done with and relax after it’s finished.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having a working reliable car that I was able to drive through a big storm to get to work this afternoon. The rain was so heavy that most cars pulled over until it passed. I was on a tight schedule, though obviously, I slowed down.

The best thing about today was:

Wandering around the school finding my students doing various activities, mostly unhappily and having fun with them. I was in a good mood because I only did about ten minutes work and was about to make my way home again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whilst I was sitting in the car preparing to leave, my phone connected to the car to play my queued podcasts as normal, I looked at my phone and there was a message saying that the app I was using would be discontinued next month. Just as I finally had things set up and running smoothly on it. Sigh.
Inevitably, when I got to school at the appropriate time there was lots of sitting around waiting before I was due to do anything so I did some research, downloaded a new app and found all my podcasts again and set my queue up again. All done!

Something I learned today?

If you want to lose belly fat you should do some active exercise approximately two hours after waking up. I’m often in the classroom around that point and I’m pretty active. I’m not much of a sit-down teacher.

How do I show love and support to those around me?

An interesting question as it’s not something I consciously think about. If someone is sad I will be empathetic. If they are struggling I will talk with them. I’m going to wimp out here and say etc etc.
But I would also say that I don’t get too involved in other people’s lives so I might not know so much about what is going on with them anyway. I don’t need my nose in everyone’s business either.

I took this picture because I love to see the sun hit the mountains whilst clouds are hanging around, heavy like this one was. I’m thankful to be able to see the wonders of nature almost every day.

Own Goal – 31st July 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In a carefully worded statement
Facts were twisted and obscured
The lines crossed were blurred
And both sides eventually demurred
One step forward, two steps back
Holding hands, stepping into a hole
A status quo must be maintained
Until someone scores an own goal

You are a human being, not a human doing.

Ryan Holiday

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that our little car is healthy enough to get us to Chiang Mai and back on a quick turnaround trip. Good health to you, Almy.

Space Invaders – 8th May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Give us a great galactic invader
Intent on total human destruction
Forget past indiscretions and focus
Efforts toward united instruction
Now imagine there was no invader
But we treat each other with that in mind
Remove hunger, poverty, crime and corruption
Everything that has made us unkind
Is it just too much to wish for?
Something that we can never achieve
Put our faith in the love of each other
The one truth that we need to believe

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

Robert Frost

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to offer help to people by picking them up with our car.

We got that attitude! – 4th February 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful that our car started this morning because Amy said she had a problem with it last night. It’s great to have a reliable car.
I am so happy and grateful for Miche to be Amy’s friend and for her and Amy to go out last night and have some fun. Amy has been enjoying the garden but it’s good for her to get out otherwise she is stuck here all the time. So I’m thankful Miche is her friend.

The best thing about today was talking with Dylan about music. He asked me about the feeling when Kurt Cobain died and I asked him how old he was – but he hadn’t even been born. We talked about the Beatles, Bob Dylan, Gorillaz etc

We got that attitude! – 14th January 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the heating in my car this morning. I didn’t even know that it could warm the car I just thought it was for cooling.

The best thing that happened today was watching one of my classes just get on with doing some work without much complaint. I was spellbound for a few minutes. I only had to tell them once and they got on with it. The feeling didn’t last for long but I certainly enjoyed it.

Can’t you sit still? – 28th January 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the heater in my car this morning. It feels very cold!

Learning how to sit still and obey others is the necessary prerequisite to learning how to sit still and obey yourself.

thought on Chinese education at Slate Star Codex

To-do list

  • Write about what you read today! ✅
  • Typhoon for revision – can it be done? ½
  • Find time to connect with someone. ½
  • What gift could you give Kru Noon?
  • Answer more challenges in your book. ✅

Had a lot of free time again today for which I’m very grateful. I wrote a few things down from what I was reading which made me realise that that is what I should be doing all the time.

An interesting Daily Stoic article talked about morning starts – movement, mindfulness, mastery. Things that I have been starting to do more and more anywhere. I feel like I have become a happier and more rounded person recently – still not challenged by a highly emotional event though.

A new challenge for this book is to recall and savour a time/event in my past and do this every night for five minutes or so. Tonight I will think about the time I helped Limited Express (has gone?) to tour Australia.

Tomorrow I was thinking about going somewhere else to buy coffee just to use my Curiosity Character Strength (which I did today by driving back home a different route) but Amy is taking the care so I’ll think about that for another day. I want to try many of the different examples of performing to Character Strengths just as an extra challenge.

Another important thing I learned today is that experiences make us happier than material things and I want to keep that in mind.

I want to be stereotyped, I want to be classified – 28th December 1994

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Today reminds us to count our blessings, it being one year since Steve passed away and it sure don’t seem like all those 365 days have gone by without seeing or talking to him. Each day has been recorded here for my benefit, each day busy with preparations and plans, so much done and said, it doesn’t seem possible that he hasn’t been here with us (all of us who knew and loved him). His life and actions still strong in our minds and hearts, an inspiration to us all, forever.

And typically, me and my beloved sweetheart are so damn busy today we don’t get much time to dwell about the past, today we’re running around buying ourselves a car and organising financial support from the bank in order to do it. a severe strain on our monies – in fact we are nearly broke at the end of the day, but shit, money isn’t everything and we know we’ll manage and as if we are being looked after by some other force, our next door neighbour offers us the lend of two chairs so now we have somewhere to sit in our lounge and then C_ and P_ lend us table and chairs so we have somwhere to dine and our house is turning into a home – with a car in the drive!