Witches and Wizards – 14th August 2023

There’s only a small role to be played
No one is more important in the game
Better to choose not to be insulted
By those who wish the rules remain

The witches and wizards will try
To knock you off your shaky feet
Their game is a lonely one
Where they’re happy to have you beat

To feel better at another’s expense
Does not a balanced life bring
And that tiny role that belongs to you
Is the truth that lets you sing


Today I’m feeling:

A little slow to go. Lost in a little canna paranoia. Reflecting on who I am and what I’ve done and what’s left to do. What’s next?

Life is such a boring existence when seen through a focused lens. Everything is dull. There’s nothing new anymore. No wonder left in the world. Most of the time we just busy ourselves to ignore it.

I’d better get busy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding salad at the Walking Street today. I had Amy’s lasagna for lunch and by the time it got to 5 pm, I knew I needed to eat something else and started craving salad. At first, I couldn’t find my usual favourite stall to buy at, though eventually found another as I was just starting to wonder what else I could eat. Topped with some English Cheddar chips, I could’ve eaten another bowl full.

The best thing about today was:

My head getting back together and realising that I’m okay. At least, I think I’m ok! 

How are people so sure of themselves? Everything they do is trivial and ridiculous. I know this about myself and I’m certain it’s not just me!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I didn’t answer this question yesterday and today I’m leaning towards what I almost wrote yesterday in that I’m running out of time to get all the things done that I would like to do. I’m thinking that I have to stop watching so many YouTube or TV shows. Ironically this thought was triggered by a video I was watching about how our attention spans are so short these days. 

Something I learned today?

Ipswich Town are in first place in the League Championship. They’ve only played two games so far though! Maybe my old team will be back in the big league next year.

Rista sent me this picture because she’s away playing kabaddi in Kanchanaburi and she was smart enough to ask me if she would have to keep up with my classwork. I told her not to worry about it and enjoy herself but to send me pictures. I was surprised and appreciative that she did. She’s a good kid. She separated herself a little from some of her friends who were diverting her attention away from things she has decided she wants to do.

Three Rivers – 7th June 2023

Stepping into the river of joy
I’m held high with its pleasure
Even taken up to the heavens
Where our gods now take their leisure

Dragged along in the river of grief
The weight forever bearing down
Can I push my toes against the mud
Swirling dark yellow and brown?

Rowing around the river of need
Searching for a friend and destination
Sometimes smooth, sometimes wild
Within an insatiable compellation

inspired by Red Hand Files #248 (I think)


Today I’m feeling:

Good all day. Nothing got in my way. No annoying students, no annoying adults. Not even the crappy coffee in the school cafe could get me down as I rose with the caffeine hit.

Today I’m grateful for:

One of my new M4 (grade 10) students asking me if I would still be teaching her class next year. I said I didn’t think so but didn’t know for sure. She said she wanted me to teach her next year too! I’ve been teaching her for three weeks! Sometimes I wonder exactly how these kids see me through all their different eyes. I’m grateful to all of them for all that they teach me.

The best thing about today was:

Amongst many things, the clouds and sun on the mountains as I was driving home this afternoon. Huge white sunlit clouds towered above lower-level rain clouds across the mountain tops and then some valleys were highlighted with sunshine reminding me of a Miyazaki anime, all topped with a fan of rays further into the blue skies up high. Just six or so weeks ago all this looked like a nuclear winter and now it is magical. What you see has a big effect on mental health.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been getting parents’ email addresses from my class’s homeroom teacher if they would like an email to see how their children are doing in my class. I got information quickly and easily from a couple of teachers but another tried to palm me off perhaps not quite understanding what I wanted.
When I asked them again today they told me that most of their parents don’t have email addresses which is just a plain untruth and indicates to me that they just can’t be bothered or don’t want to help.
Maybe they are concerned that parents will start asking them more about their own classes. I know the teachers here are given ridiculous tasks to do all the time so sometimes it doesn’t surprise me that their focus is on themselves and not the students.
It’s also true that many parents of students at this school don’t care about their kid’s work or how they are doing. One annoying foreign teacher isn’t going to fix everything. But I’ll settle for anything.

Something I learned today?

I saw a review of the Apple Vision Pro headset which looks pretty interesting with some amazing technology. It’s not something that I would buy right now but perhaps after it got to a later generation and fitted in with what I would like a computer to do. Being able to read a comic or book just by moving your eyes would be cool. As it develops I’m sure more exciting uses will come to light for it.

What do I know for sure?

Honestly, the only thing I am sure of is that I’m going to die, everyone and every living thing I know too. Anything else is up for question.

What qualities do I want to embody in my daily life?

Honesty, caring, love, gratitude, understanding, empathy, kindness….all the words from all the self-help books.

I took this picture yesterday because, much like today, the clouds, sky and mountains were making me feel joyful.