Tag: character

Cuppa Freedom – 29th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t tell the Yanks that they’re not free
That’s when they start killing you and me
What a different world we might be living in
If we had chatted over a nice cup of tea!

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. I’ve called in sick to work so that I can go to the hospital to get my medicine this morning so I’m enjoying some Utopian coffees first.

Today I’m grateful for:

A quick stroll through the local walking street market with Amy to get some dinner.  I picked up some of my favourite salad that I always bought when Amy wasn’t here and I haven’t had it again in the three months since she’s back.

The best thing about today was:

Getting in to see the doctor without an appointment and whilst waiting I needed to go to the bathroom and by the time I got back it was my turn to see him.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At one point I was watching something on TV and Amy decided to start calling people on her phone. It was impossible for me to hear whilst she was chatting away. Never mind – guitar time! I headed off to my room to play.

Something I learned today?

My old student August (she who used to love dancing) told me of her interest in playing guitar last year. Today she sent me a video of her and a couple of guitar classmates performing (singing too!) outside Central Plaza. I was quite surprised and also jealous!

I wish I was young and unafraid like her. Learning something is easier when you are young and getting up in front of people isn’t so nerve-racking unless you are really shy.

Of course, I did that too when I was young. I guess I just want to be young!

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 8. Don’t Care About What People Think. We all die in the end, do you really think it matters what people think of you?

Kinda connected to what I wrote above, in many ways I’ve never cared what people thought of me unless I knew I was doing something wrong.  When I reached about 16 or 17, something changed in that I lost a lot of self-confidence, though still sometimes ran on bravado, which never served me well.  And from there it was an ever-decreasing circle.  Somewhere along the way and slowly but surely I got some confidence back, especially when I started doing music-related things in Australia.

I’m reminded of one occasion when I was at the front of the crowd at Frequency Lab videoing Limited Express (has gone?)’s set.  As there was no space between the audience and the band and only a one-step stage it meant being in the way of things a little. 

Later, Dave Harris asked me about being there and I said ‘I didn’t care’ to which he was rather taken aback but I clarified that I meant that I didn’t care if I got pushed and shoved out of the way by the raging mosh pit around us all.  Of course, most people will take care not to smash into people filming or taking photos and I would too, to a certain extent but ultimately if I had missed some shots or worse still, something got smashed then I would have had only myself to blame. 

If people are not happy about something then they can say something.

This reminds me of another occasion when I was at the Big Day Out one time and a girl in a bikini top was on the shoulders of her boyfriend. This annoyed a few boys who were standing behind them but instead of moving somewhere else, where there was still plenty of room they thought it would be a good idea to pull on the strings of the bikini top to try and undo and embarrass the girl.  On their second attempt, I stepped in and told them to move if they weren’t happy and they soon got the message.

Anyway, back to not caring what people think.  Most of us will reach an age where this will just naturally happen and we’ll no longer much care.  We get settled in our ways and remain the way we are.  Some of us (myself included) will remain firm and polite in most situations whilst others will be curmudgeonly and unbending.  I guess that depends on one’s character.

If I’m completely honest, there will still be some occasions when I will care what certain people think about me.

I took this picture because if you squint at these leaves they look like they have tiny lights at their centres.

A Picture Of You – 4th April 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

This picture tells a story
But is that story true?
Is that picture of you
Really a picture of you?
Even a full life video
Is only a capture of sorts
No one can mine the depths
Of all your tiny thoughts
Be wary of judgements
On yourself and others too
A picture is not a story
It’s just a picture of you

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

John Wooden

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to inspire myself to get up early and walk and should be able to form a good habit from it.

29th August 2023 – I did form a habit of exercising rather than walking. Walking is all well and good but some summer days make it hot even at 6 a.m. and then the rainy season can be unbelievably wet and winter cold. And as I’m writing this I know they are just excuses but at least exercise counters all my excuses and can be completed indoors in aircon if necessary.

The Week That Was – 20th May 1979

You’re just eighteen, you’re heading off to war – 16th January 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

What characteristics do you wish you had?

I have all the characteristics I need but need to work harder at these: perspective, social intelligence (understanding others), spirituality, and kindness.

I am sometimes good at doing these things but often get wrapped up in myself too much instead. I would like to deal better emotionally with difficult situations. Sometimes I can’t control my feelings well enough.

After some more consideration, social intelligence is the one I want to improve most. I can do this by going out and meeting more and different people – not just those within my own sphere of interest.

1st Jan 2023 – Three years later, and having been through much of that time with pandemic lockdowns and prohibitions I don’t think I consider social intelligence so highly anymore. It would be important if I was 20 years old again but over the last year or two, I’ve become much more comfortable with myself.

I can guess that George was the influence for me to try to engage more with other people in 2020, as I always saw him happy. However, I also discovered that trying to be like other people is not always the best approach, especially when feeling let down by them. What works for him doesn’t necessarily work for me.

I’m comfortable and happy with my tribe, I know who they are even though they are not close by. I can still work on improving social intelligence within that premise instead. I don’t need to spend time meeting new people just to practice this. I feel I have better ways to spend my time. I know other people enjoy doing it but it’s not for me.

How can you get those characteristics?

I already have these characteristics but just need to enhance them further. Bring them to the forefront of memory and practice them. Be conscious of them, In order to practice social intelligence, I need to stop pre-judging people and use come conversational techniques to find out more and quickly. This skill is something I have improved on but am not really comfortable with yet. Perhaps visualising and pretending beforehand would help? I could also read more about how to do this and watch some instructional videos.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to have a small sleep-in this morning as it is teachers’ day. I’m writing this from my bed and can look out of the bedroom window at the blue sky and jungle mountains in the distance.

It is possible to live only as long as life intoxicates us; as soon as we are sober again we see that it is all a delusion, a stupid delusion.

Leo Tolstoy, My Confessions

To-do list

  • Practice RekordBox ✅
  • Record new TCRAH ✅
  • If any appropriate time arises, tell Amy about what happened with Jimmy
  • Finish work permit tasks ½
  • Exercise at gym

Amy and I spent a long day around the city sorting things for my work permit, getting my laptop fixed and buying bits and pieces for teaching. We had a nice long lunch of sushi and I felt very happy.

I was hoping to go to the gym but it was already 4pm by the time we got home and I wanted to do some other things. Amy had a couple of drinks at lunch and was starting to get a little loud. Most of the time it was fun and funny but occasionally I got a bit annoyed (internally).

I know Amy is a little lonely here in Chiang Rai because her friends are not quite in the same position and way of thinking. We know we are lucky to be where we are and with everything that we have got and there is always some sort of trade-off.

Tomorrow, it’s back to school and I have to try and remember not to touch the students. I’m pretty sure that I will get told off again sometime.

I’m considering the option of going back to CRPAO next semester as I may be able to work with George and Tang. George keeps trying to sell the option to me but I’m a little conscious of working with someone that I consider a good friend and also about my ability to work in any school system.

15th Mar 2024 – Time certainly tells the tale. I was right to be concerned about working with a close friend though I ended up extremely happy.

Where I am now is quite easy in many ways and if it were a similar situation next semester then that seems like a good option. We never know what we’re going to end up with – all options could turn bad. I definitely don’t want to be working harder for other people.