The Retreat – 17th January 2024

Shacked up with a slacker
Who said our gold was in the hills
A guitar strapped to his back
To sing of other people’s thrills

The words are spat with bitterness
The war is raging in his head
But anger without direction
Is replaced by apathy instead

The party starts at home
With our disaffected friends
With the battle in our songs
Forgotten when it ends

Stirred into one final action
When the pipe of peace got broke
Understanding that our pain
Is only countered by the smoke

So it was, we came and went
We conquered nothing at all
We disappeared without a trace
Into the bottom of the bowl

Nearer heaven we rested heads
Too tired to take our chance
Extinguished, all those little fires
Where we no longer dance

inspired by ‘The Slacker’ in Zachary Mexico’s book China Underground


Today I’m feeling:

A little better again though still not quite right in the sinuses. Exercise got me going and I felt in a good mood for the whole day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The vegetarian food from Oasis and dessert snacks from the snack shop. Hopefully, there are snack boxes left over again tonight.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching my grade 10 class again. It’s a good feeling to have more mature students who try and want to understand more.

It did get me feeling a little like asking to spread out the classes between the foreign teachers so that not all the juniors are dumped on me and David. I know asking this is going to upset George though as he refuses to teach the younger ones, but it feels a little unfair not to split them more evenly.

I would be less tired at the end of the week and David is always talking of quitting because of the stress of his junior classes. I love those kids but I also value my health.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another day of going with the flow mostly.

Something I learned today?

As I teach my grade 10s about relationships I’m learning a little about each of them and their personalities. Toon told me she is a people pleaser whilst Milk doesn’t care if a boy is interested in her. They joked that between them they make a balanced human being.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave some leftover snacks from last night’s ceremony to some students this morning.

I drove Amy and me home and back to the city to pick up snack boxes and food for tonight’s ceremony.

I took this picture because Tokyo was pretty relaxed. I still have to be very careful with her though. She can bite really quickly and with no apparent provocation.

Little Shi – 9th January 2024

Little Shi was making his own plans
Putting his destiny in his own hands
From the fields to the city streets
Amongst the learned he competes

In the trees, he’d monkey around
Exploring the minutiae of life he found
Every little step that he was taking
Expanded the world he was making

And while those around studied well
They learned little that he could tell
He found a different meaning to success
Found his own way to progress

The things his father had been denied
Would not stop this little dragon’s rise
As the littlest kid he stood above
Remaining humble and sharing love

Until to the mountain, he climbed alone
All the horizons became his home

Inspired by a true story in Zachary Mexico’s China Underground
16th Nov 2024 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United


Today I’m feeling:

Happy and positive though starting to flake a little now it’s lunchtime.  My first class was a little chaotic and frustrating but hopefully the afternoon classes will be more uplifting.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having a bag of candy again that I can gift to random students when I feel like it.  Am I the Candyman?  A little bribery goes a long way.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to control myself when pushed to the edge of my patience several times. 

It helps that I like the kids so much and they make me laugh a lot but sometimes I wish I was just teaching the more mature students.  Sometimes I feel embarrassed for myself, wondering what other teachers might think if they came into the classroom when children are noisy and not paying attention.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I wanted to go to the hospital on the way back home but the traffic was busy and getting out of the hospital with a car now is a pain in the ass since the U-turn has been closed off because everyone was using it to skip the traffic lights.  I was too tired to bother coming back out on the motorbike so will try again tomorrow when I can leave school a little earlier and hopefully, there’s a little less traffic.

Something I learned today?

Jerry Lewis made a controversial film called The Day The Clown Cried in 1972 and it was never released and has been hidden away ever since. 

A couple of years before he died he agreed that it could be released but only after he and those that were critical of the ideas in the movie had probably died too.  So then it was decided to be released in June 2024.  The movie’s story sounds interesting and thought-provoking.  I wonder what it will be like.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As my grade 8 students were reading the text I gave them I let them try to pronounce the difficult words and gave them positive feedback when they got them right.

I followed up with Paen that she was feeling ok as I didn’t see her on Friday and she didn’t reply to my messages since then.  She said she was sick but I’m not sure if something happened with Praew that has upset her.

I was going to punish Program for being late to class without communicating with me but I decided to show him that that was my intention, but this time I will not punish him though he must remember to let me know why he is going to be late. 

Remember that this is the kid who ended up sitting in my class before doing nothing because he had picked up another student’s bag and lost his own…. I have since noticed that despite his clownish behaviour he is pretty good at English.

Tonaor randomly messaged me for advice about a logo design for her online store, which is the first I’d heard of it but I’m not too surprised. 

Kids of 13 or 14 are getting smart about making money using the internet these days.  I was happily surprised that she asked me for advice though.

This was not in my class but I took this picture as an example of a typical classroom lesson environment. To be fair, everyone had finished their work but there was no sitting quietly reading a book until the bell goes. These are my old grade 7 and 8 students, now in grade 9. There’s Phoom, Chok, Jackie and… fuck, I’ve forgotten the other boy’s name though I can picture his face quite clearly.

Beautiful Mess – 6th January 2024

Standing here amongst the detritus
This is certainly a lived-in room
The treaties of the past are scattered
Across a floor that’s never seen a broom

There’s an unused TV in the corner
Hoping the remote will be found one day
Tho’ full of dust, it’s fuller with love
A satisfying sty in which to laugh and play

inspired by the memory of living in Mick’s house – more detail here


Today I’m feeling:

Tired but relaxed.  Amy stayed at her parent’s last night and much of today and after coffee, hanging out washing and shampooing Tigger I slowly watched the day disappear reading, watching TV and not much else.

Today I’m grateful for:

The discounted milk protein drinks at the Lotus store – three for the price of two.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing reading Wuthering Heights, which I enjoyed much more than I expected.  I love finishing one book because it means I can start another! 

I also started reading China Underground at Utopia, the first two stories of which reminded me a lot of my time meeting people in China and to realise how much the world, and I, have changed since.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There is some family drama going on that I have absolutely no control over and so the best I can do is to comfort Amy and help her with figuring out the best way forward. 

It’s a frustrating situation that goes deep into Thai culture and societal norms that involve blind acceptance of the patriarchy. 

Whilst I knew about this, it is uncomfortably close to home this time.  It is also making me feel even more for the female students that I teach and wonder what of their future.

Something I learned today?

Our avocado tree is infested with giant hairy worms that are eating their way through the leaves.  I have to warn Amy to stay away from there as she will surely be allergic to their hairs.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I fist-bumped the staff at Utopia and the girl customer whom I have seen there a few times before and smiled and acknowledged most everyone else who came in whilst I was there reading and drinking my coffee.

Apart from that I didn’t have much interaction with anyone else today, even online.

I took this picture because these little fucks are difficult to see on the tree. There are five visible here and 100s more out of focus.