Tag: China

Dying Dynasties – 9th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Incapable of relinquishing self-image
Narcissus drowned in his own pool
Flailing wildly at the reality around
The king becomes the fool

Trying to satisfy their own myth
Yet satisfying neither foe nor friend
History shows that for every rise
Every dynasty will surely end

Soon the fall accelerates
Mistakes compound exponential
Rulers rue their overreach
Whilst the ruled realise their potential

A letter from future me (sent 9th February 2023)

Dear FutureMe,

I recently received a letter from PastMe which I had written one year previously. In that letter, it was scout week and Aing and Now were here for Aing’s graduation. And so it is this time, scout week and Aing and Now are visiting again for their friend’s graduation.

Yesterday we went on a walk up to Khun Korn waterfall where I couldn’t help myself and stripped down and jumped into the freezing waters and felt the breath pushed out of my body by the water dropping the ten metres or so onto my head. It felt amazing. I feel revitalised but also tired today.

It was a funny coincidence that for scout week the M3 students were also at Khun Korn so I dropped by and saw them all getting cold, wet and dirty. They looked like they were having begrudging fun.

The future is not clear so I’ll just keep going until I receive this letter and can reflect back on what happened. Amy and I have discussed possibilities such as my going to Australia for a little break and then coming back together. This would be around the end of the year. She is also considering going to work with Mai for a while if she gets pregnant again. She is definitely going to Athens and Santorini in July before coming back to help me with my visa again. We also discussed her return here to maybe teach a little again and think about opening a small cafe/restaurant here. I still hope she decides to do that because that was one of our original plans when moving here. I wonder what the situation will be by the time of reading this!?

The world is open to many possibilities for us, which is a good place to be.

Will I remember the struggle this year of dealing with my troublesome classes? Will it have been any better with my new classes? I hope I have found some strategies for better dealing with it.

I’m also busy being lazy. Reading, watching TV, listening to music. But also spending a lot of time updating 1994ever.com. Not that it will ever be finished but I hope I’m closer to having all the pre-2000s information completed by now. There’s still a lot of stuff to go through.

I’m enjoying life though not quite as much as last year. Right now, I feel a little stuck in an anticipatory wait. Maybe I need to make something happen next. Or maybe it’s just a feeling and not my reality. How am I feeling now?

These letters to myself are not as easy to write as they are to other people!
So with that I’ll be off for now!

Today I’m feeling:

Sick with a cold.  My sore throat was hurting through the night and I woke up with a head full of snot.  I think I’ll not hang out for too long this morning before heading home and finding some medicine, rest and sleep.

Today I’m grateful for:

The pharmacy that was open in the village where I bought medicine for fever, sore throat and itchy nose.  KhaoTang’s mum’s shop was closed today as were a few other places, possibly due to the Chinese New Year.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling very relaxed despite my sickness.  I had nowhere to be and nothing to do beyond whatever I wanted.  I wrote to Rob and caught him up on some of my news.  I’ll try to keep that communication going again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite being hungry, eating was a bit of a struggle.  I didn’t really have an appetite and even though I knew the food was tasty my receptors weren’t getting the message.  I forced myself to eat it all though.

Something I learned today?

China made a microchip that uses light rather than electrons. It is said to be three thousand times faster than its electron equivalent and uses so little energy in comparison that it could last for 500 years before needing a recharge.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  15. Rest Before You Are Tired. Even if you love your job, and every day seems like a holiday, you need to take time to rest. You’re a human and not an android, never forget that.

I love rest but I also hate it.  I lay down too much and spend many hours reading in that position.  I love reading.  It feels like resting.  I like to get things done.  I always like to be lazy.  I push myself too much and my body forces me to stop.  I’m still working on getting the balance right.  Another decade or two and I should be good to go!

I took this picture because I thought these tiny little flowers were cute when I walked around Mum’s garden last week. My mind has been focused on words rather than pictures this week.

Bare Hearts – 7th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Running barefoot along the beaches
A meditation and reflection unspoken
The past master no longer teaches
To prepare for the bare hearts broken

Knowing everything and nothing too
Knowing that something must be learned
As bare feet and bare hearts must do
The future must be earned

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions
21st Jun 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Tired, relaxed and lazy again.  Today is a repeat episode of yesterday pretty much.  Not excited, not unhappy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The cake that Amy came back with at lunchtime, presumably from Nong Oh who she was out with.  A light chiffon with cashews in a thick caramel topping.  It was nice in that it didn’t taste as sweet as it looked.

The best thing about today was:

Cleaning up the last pile of junk on the floor of my room.  There is stuff there that is inspiring me to think of new lesson plans so I hung on to quite a bit of it.  The floor is clear but I still need to go through the stuff on the shelves and that will mean more inspiration and ideas and then a concern about lack of time to execute all those ideas.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In the scheme of things, I did very little today.  If there was anything out of my control then it had no lasting resonance with my memory.

Something I learned today?

From watching the interview with Nathan Rich I discovered that you can inject whisky into your veins and get drunk from it.  I mean, it makes sense but it seems like a stupid thing to do when you can just drink the stuff! 

That guy has certainly had an interesting life and we share a weird connection in that we both got into computing as a way to raise ourselves up in the world (and both into punk and then with interests in China).

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Today was all about Amy and being sympathetic to her situation with the unfolding drama therein.

Was the killing of hundreds of hairy worms on the avocado tree a good or vile act?

Tell about something you love doing that you’re terrible at. And tell about something you really do not like doing that you’re great at.

For the former, I guess it would be playing guitar, though I don’t really think that I am terrible.  I’m just not good.

For the latter maybe Maths, though again, I wouldn’t say that I was great at it either.  In fact, if I think about it I actually like learning about Maths but have an aversion to it because of a long-held hatred of my high school Maths teacher.

Even then, I’m over it (I should be because it was 40 years ago!) so I need to think of something else here.

It’s tough. I don’t consider myself particularly great at anything and at my age now I’m not really doing anything that I don’t like doing anymore.

I took this picture because this pup is cute and loves me.

To The Bliss – 18th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Challenge the unchallenged
Surrendering to the blissful
Ignorance, life unexamined
Anxiety becomes wishful
– A fate worse than death!

inspired by Existential Comics
submitted to Moonwashed Musings

Today I’m feeling:

Excellent.  Got up 5 minutes earlier than usual so that I can incorporate some stretching into my morning exercise routine.  Also gone back to two lots of exercise.  The habit is fairly well entrenched now so doing a little extra is not too much of an issue.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru David joining me briefly for a coffee at House. It cut into my writing time but actually, I appreciated a quick chat about AFL and racist English hooligans!

The best thing about today was:

Getting home around 2pm and getting lots of things done earlier than usual (trying to prioritise things).  It’s not even 6pm at the moment and just a couple of things left to do.  I was already contemplating going to bed and reading comics and I’ll do that soon I think. 

I need to adjust my sleep time a little too, with getting up five minutes earlier and extra morning exercise.  I don’t seem to have any problem falling asleep but I’ve not been getting good sleep recently due to waking up with pain in my right shoulder.

Something I learned today?

I read an interesting article on the West’s history of the Great Leap Forward in China and how no one who went there could find any evidence of a famine at all.  There were food shortages due to 3 years of crop failure and the US, intent on destroying the Communist Party of China, then sanctioned grain into the country.  However, the CPC continued to distribute grain to those most in need. 

The whole narrative is posited to be pure Western propaganda and the figures quoted for the number of people who died were just the usual number of people that died anyway.  When something is quoted as ‘6 million people died during the famine’ it implies that it would be on top of the normal death rate. 

The author provided lots of evidence and it also reinforces other articles I’ve read recently stating that the US war with China started when they realised the Nationalists would be defeated by the communists. 

Over time, I’ve become more convinced of the lies and deceit at play in the hands of the USA and it has become much harder to decide what is the truth.  As the old phrase states, ‘If you see the lips moving then you know they are lying.’

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

The usual encouragement to my students for trying their best.

What were some moments of joy I experienced this year?

This is hard for me to recall specifically but as moments of joy did not particularly stand out (which doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy or having a great time) I do recall moments of savouring. And these too are not specific but I do recall the feeling when it occurs.

Sometimes this might be several times a day and other times maybe just once a week. It could be on a bike ride, drinking a coffee, eating food or just sitting and reflecting. That feeling has come more often in recent years rather than moments of joy.

I took this picture because Cappuccino looked beautiful sitting in the soft light of the sunrise this morning.

Difficult Dance – 8th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

How to dodge all the cynics in the hall?
Hope has the knives out against the thinkers
Psyches ripped asunder of those held in thrall
Long gone, the days the tailors danced with tinkers

inspired and borrowed from this post at the Marginalian by Maria Popova

Today I’m feeling:

Physically good but took me a while to feel better after yesterday’s tantrum. Listening to my student’s reading helped though. I started smiling when they tried and tried until they got the words right. Getting some writing done during the long break between classes also helped as it focused my mind on other things.

Today I’m grateful for:

Receiving an order for the Jornada Del Muerto LP from someone in the UK. Now I have to get my act together to pack it to ship there!

The best thing about today was:

Walking around school after classes and hanging out with students watching or playing their sports. It was a good atmosphere that I was happy to stay around for rather than dashing home.

Something I learned today?

China has introduced measures that allow Taiwanese people better access and integration into Fujian as a countermeasure to the US-led independence movement. The US doesn’t give a shit about Taiwanese people.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Despite being difficult in my class and me deducting points for disrespect, it was Baibua’s birthday today and I gave her twenty baht for which she was very surprised and grateful.

I congratulated Nicha for getting up the courage to talk to the boy she liked though she was disappointed that he didn’t show any interest in her.

What is something I hope to understand better?

Myself (is my obtuse answer).

Right now, it is the Thai language. I feel my learning has stunted a little recently or at least slowed. I do notice increased recognition and being able to read two words of subtitles now rather than one. I guess I’m fine with it. My brain feels like it is at capacity most of the time. Squeezing new things in scares me that it is squeezing old things out.

And, having said that, there are a million things I might hope to understand better

I took this picture on the walk up to LiKhai the other day because this beast was blocking the way with its half smile.  Even if it was friendly I wasn’t keen to get near those horns or its back legs. We got by without incident thankfully.

In The Presence Of God – 5th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 15 Comments

Sat here staring at the walls
Tracing back this year of ruin
The picture hung now calls
To settle any trouble brewing
Transcendence roams these halls
Embracing the silence here
It’s the holy land that recalls
The artist’s vision clear

Walking through the lives
And visions of those long gone
A tiny thought survives
Where this moment must belong
When this awe arrives
Angels will serenade the air
Unfolding before the eyes
Of those chosen to be there

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions
13th Dec 2024 – Shared with dVerse OLN
9th Apr 2025 – Shared with Moonwashed Weekly Prompt

Today I’m feeling:

Great. Got up as usual and did some arm exercises, went for coffees and then headed off to meet Bruno and walk up the LiKhai Valley. After a good walk up there and a super refreshing swim in the waterfall, I felt even better. A delicious affogato at Utopia after some veggie noodles and I relaxed into a fabulous afternoon nap before preparing for guests in the evening as Amy prepared Korean food for her mum, Dad, Auntie, Nong Aun and her friend and I talked a little with everyone. A wonderful day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady who made vegetarian noodle soup for my lunch. To be honest it was pretty bland and tasteless but somehow it felt filling and refreshing. The lady was in the shop by herself and there weren’t many customers (probably due to the holiday) but I’m glad she was there.

The best thing about today was:

Definitely jumping in the water in the stream running down the valley. The bottom of the stream wasn’t visible and I slipped down into the water, completely submerged before breast stroking across to where the water was pouring over the rocks from above. The weather today was perfect and the water was a good (cold) temperature to refresh and revive.

Something I learned today?

After NASA banned any cooperation with China in connection with space, they are now asking for samples of moon rock that China recently brought back from there.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As we were coming out of the valley a foreign couple that we’d seen ride by earlier stopped and asked about going to Mae Salong, so I gave them the rough directions and some advice on how long it would take and where else to go.

I loaned Amy’s dad some Kabuki comic books that I have though I doubt if he can understand them fully. He borrowed some books from me a couple of years ago and still hasn’t given them back. I reminded him again as he was taking these!

If I could relive any day from my past, which day would I choose?

This ties in with the question on Sunday about my favourite parts of the city and the walk I like in Sydney. I would relive the day that TLJ and I went exploring down there when we snuck out of the office for a long lunch. I was desperately excited with new love at that time.

I took this picture because this was the swimming hole I enjoyed getting wet in today.

Exposed – 3rd December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

These words are a photograph
A fight against time
Just a brief exposure
Into this life of mine
A snapshot, incomplete
Make of it what you will
It’s your story too
This one I’m living still

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again after a good cannabutter-aided sleep. My body is a little stiff but I was happy to see more definition when I looked in the mirror this morning. Slowly, slowly getting to the shape I might like.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s banana muffins, small, light and so delicious I ate three immediately.

The best thing about today was:

Starting a new book. This time it’s Wuthering Heights. I read the first couple of chapters and already have a feel for the story.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The internet is often not good in my room and today was a little frustrating as it it difficult to play guitar along with the app I use and then trying to prepare for my classes tomorrow. I just gave up and came inside.

Something I learned today?

It’s thought that this year China reached peak carbon. Maybe the first country to do so?

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Today has been a relatively quiet day with few interactions and mostly general acts neither good or bad.

I did go and wait on the bridge for Amy’s som tum food delivery. 

A future good deed I’m considering is painting our house number on the bridge so delivery drivers can find us more easily.

27th Feb 2024 – Our bridge will be gone in the next couple of months as part of widening the road in our soi. Let’s see what it all looks like in the end and maybe I’ll have to make a sign.

What is a piece of advice that I would give to my younger self?

My ten-year-old self: Take every opportunity to try new things. Don’t worry about what other people think. (I wouldn’t have taken this advice as I was too stubborn and contrarian)

My twenty-year-old self: The way you are feeling is not normal, go see a psychiatrist. Also, stop using alcohol as medication.

My thirty-year-old self: Now you’re getting there. About time. Keep going with those adventures. You still need to learn to love yourself more, this will stop you from hurting and hurting others. Stop drinking.

My forty-year-old self: You’re almost there. Almost worked everything out. Keep doing what you’re doing. Stop drinking.

My fifty-year-old self: Look at you, slowly getting fit and healthy, mentally and physically. You’re understanding that life is meaningless but don’t tell the kids that! Give hope. Share goodness. Be wary of false prophets and the pedestal you put them up on.

What is your favorite part about your town or city?

Let’s think about the three main places I have lived. Wimborne, Dorset, UK. Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. Ban Huai Phlu, Chiang Rai, Thailand.

Wimborne: After my formative teenage years growing up in the countryside outside Wimborne, when both grandparents had passed away, we moved to Colehill on the outskirts of the town but still within walking distance if the weather was suitable.

One summer I scored ten cheap hits of acid and decided to spread them out over the weekends doing a half on Saturday and a half on Sunday. From there my mind was open to many things and I would often head off out for a random walk. I loved the fields and though I rarely went near it, also the river.

One Sunday afternoon I headed down the hill into the Stour Valley with pollen floating through the air as you might imagine in a fairy tale. I knew where I was without knowing where I was, following tracks and trails over fences and through fields, ending up at the river. I don’t recall which way I ended up coming home but I revisited this walk one time when visiting my mum in 2011(?) and it was still an enjoyable excursion.

Back then, though perhaps after that summer, I would also ride my pushbike around similar areas that led to discovering the old train lines and then trying to follow them from Poole to Ferndown. Perhaps it is these times that endear me to the countryside still.

Sydney: There is a walk from around St Leonards that goes through some bushland along Flat Rock Creek, down into a ravine that opens up into a park that then goes down to the harbour at Cammeray. 

This walk is sentimental for me as it recalls the time of new blooming love, passion and understanding. Long lazy walks with TLJ found my mind opening to so many new things that I needed to replace in my life. It meant leaving some things behind, heartache for some and eventually for us all.

I recall one time, escaping home with the idea that a choice needs to be made and lying in the park alone in the warm spring evening that decision was finally made. My life took a new course from there. That was 1998.

Chiang Rai: It is comparable to the area in Wimborne, a valley that leads to the river. Beyond the bypass that takes me to and from work the valley opens out long and wide, the mountains on the other side seem far far away. The jungle here has long been cleared for rice fields and there have been times that I have been riding my motorbike here, crisscrossing the land to trying and understand how everything fits together, that reminds me of the walk in Wimborne. 

The first time I rode here I was so excited that I returned again the next day. I’ve given it a little break this year because things change here quite quickly so will check it out again and find new surprises.

I took this picture because Noey wasn’t working today. When she is working and I’m late she always messages me asking where I am so today I sent her this picture asking where she was. Predictably, she has exams.

Bucket Of Life – 11th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s a labour of love, not big dreams
But about what being human means
Sticking a dollar in the cup, passing through
This is all a gift from me to you
And back again, that’s our reflection
Open to each other’s introspection
In for a penny, in for a pound
Let’s pass the bucket of life around

Today I’m feeling:

A good vibe. This morning is not too hot. I lazily prepared for the day by rolling back and forth in bed due to stiffness finally getting up and mosying along to Utopia for a delicious throat-soothing coffee. Art told me about his ride to Doi Ang Chang and it looks like a great ride so I messaged Bruno to plan to go there next weekend.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s dad feeling good enough to come out to Central and eat at the seafood restaurant there, where we treated him for his birthday, Amy’s mum for selling her apartments and Nong Aun (Amy’s brother’s girlfriend) for getting a job as a teacher here.

The best thing about today was:

The first coffee was pretty spot on. Meeting Baipad’s mum, sister and three super cute cats was fun.

The fish speciality at Laem Charoen was delicious for lunch. The afternoon and evening are a relaxing chill-out. It’s been a good day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My sore throat was getting me down a little at times today but I finally got to rest a little for an hour or so after lunch and it’s improved a little since taking some medicine. I dealt with it by soldiering on and despite feeling a little grumpy I don’t think it showed that much.

Something I learned today?

A theory behind renewed conflict in the Middle East is to cut off oil to China. A terrorist attack is said to be rumoured on US soil that will trigger them into war with Iran.

This whole ridiculous idea seems more likely every day. The US is putting all its pieces into play in preparation. The US is isolating itself more and more from the rest of the world and the rest of the world is looking forward to its downfall.

Whilst people were scoffing at the idea of the end of the Empire last year, this view is now going mainstream.

What’s on my mind right now?

This morning I will go and meet my student Baipad and her mum to introduce myself as her teacher. She lives in our village and since opening up to me about her struggles with being bullied in primary school and her father passing away a few years ago I’ve tried to encourage and support her. As she lives close by I suggested that once a week I can bring her home from school and hopefully introduce her to Amy so she can pick up on some confidence-building skills and keep up her English, which she is pretty good at in general. 

I took this picture this morning because this oversized asparagus-looking plant is so big that I had to wide angle the shot to get it all in the picture. The multiple mini flowers are cute though not the spectacle-worthy of a stalk growth of this size.

Photographs – 1st November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

No longer memories in a desert
That night of drunken play
Lost to the pictured word
That claims all that happened that day

Today I’m feeling:

Anxious and excited as classroom days resume. The fun, the fighting, the lessons we all learn.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding two useful textbooks in the teacher’s room which I immediately turned one part of the text into a lesson that I used for the grade 7 class. I figured it would be pretty easy revision and just take an hour but they managed to stretch it to two with lots of faffing around.

The best thing about today was:

Listening to the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast about the Volcano Suns album ‘Thing of Beauty’ on the way home from work and then in the evening playing guitar along to a couple of tunes from it. Love that band.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

A couple of my grade 7 students were a little temperamental in my class this afternoon and tested my patience a lot. It’s early days as we all get used to each other again and instead of getting too bothered, I tried to find other solutions to get them back in line.

Something I learned today?

I read about the China-Laos rail line that crosses the border in Laos at a place called Botan. The crossing in 1993 was little more than a single iron bar gate but now lots of investment has grown the city rapidly. Despite the economic slowdown and the pandemic’s effect on travel, Laotians are hoping that this is a springboard to a better future.

List three goals for this month.

Renew my tourist visa. This is a must!

Get back to the exercise routine I had before the holiday.

Get back to around 80kg again, whilst improving my fitness.

Nam took this picture because the class insisted on a photo with everyone showing off the koala souvenirs I gifted to them.

The Price Of Peace – 20th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Reality doesn’t care about your shoulds and shouldn’ts
The way out of suffering is the same on any scale
Would you side with peace or with the wouldn’ts?
Determined to see the negotiations fail
Does the price of peace negate your profits?
How many bodies are on your bottom line?
The brave will do the right thing to stop it
Not afraid to call the reality a crime

First two lines borrowed from Caitlin Johnstone

Today I’m feeling:

Slow but positive. Got home at around midnight and found the documentary about the making of Dogs in Space on TV so watched that and then there was a show about an explosion on an active volcanic island in New Zealand that killed 22 tourists. It was pretty compelling and kept me up til 2 am.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s co-workers to have become good friends and colleagues over the last 18 months. They were quite emotional to say goodbye today at dinner.

The best thing about today was:

Walking through Balmain down to the ferry, with a beautiful full blue Australian sky, purple jacaranda blooms scattered across the ground and the scent of jasmine everywhere.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy wants to dance this evening and I’m tired already but know that she will miss all this very much. I sat just outside in the foyer reading and finally, Amy came out.

Something I learned today?

China’s divorce rate has dropped for three years in a row. This seems surprising considering that time includes pandemic lockdowns where it would be assumed that families having to spend so much time together would get on each other’s nerves and separate easily.

What are you afraid of?

Toothache. At the wedding, I broke some more off one of my teeth whilst eating risotto of all things. The nerve isn’t exposed thankfully but it’s only a matter of time before more pieces break off and fall out. Toothache is the worst!

I’m afraid of other more existential things too but right now it’s toothache!

What am I longing for right now?

Knowing a long flight is ahead tomorrow I’m longing to be back home again.

I took this picture because it was a beautiful day to be a tourist in Sydney so that’s what we did.

Skipping Down The Street – 21st September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes we play like children
Before we remember who we are
No more skipping along the road
Or taking a joke too far
 Why blush embarrassed at the fun
 Of pretending to shoot an imaginary gun?

Now the world is our playground
We’ve forgotten exactly how to play
Life suddenly got so serious
And we let it get in our way
We removed ourselves from our dreams
Made them into our children’s themes

3rd Apr 2024 – Submitted to The Daily Spur – adjust

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and energetic with any underlying feeling of tiredness just from exercise. Is it ironic that I’m feeling the best I have felt in a long time whilst Amy’s family is all struggling with their health and the stress that goes along with it?

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding a parking space outside the 7/11 next to the hospital as I had to go and wait with Amy’s dad whilst Amy’s mum went to grab some food and move her car. I bought a protein drink there to keep me going as I’m not sure when I’ll get home. I’m hungry after a long day.

The best thing about today was:

For my last class of the day, I gave the students a difficult listening and spelling test. I sat them apart and told them they couldn’t speak to each other. They had forty words to listen to and then spell. What made me happy was that all the students took it seriously and the ones who hadn’t been paying attention were being found out.

This was the real goal of the lesson. I don’t much care about the results of the test.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I knew that I would have to take Leo (Amy’s dad’s dog) for a walk after work and had built that into my thought schedule for the day, knowing that I would be tired as this is my busiest day of the week. During the morning I got a message from Amy that I was also needed after that at the hospital to relieve Amy’s mum for a while. Whilst not that unexpected it meant readjusting my mindset that now I wasn’t even sure when I might get home and to eat. Again, I submitted myself and got my mind straight about it. No point in being upset.

Something I learned today?

I learned the reason why China had to develop its own GPS system. In the mid-90s the USA declared a Chinese ship was delivering chemical agents for weaponisation to Iran, without any evidence at all. The USA forced the ship to stay at sea and demanded other countries refuse to let the ship dock. The Chinese offered for independent assessors to come and check the ship but the USA refused! Then they switched off GPS for the ship to use so the captain didn’t know where they were going. After 20 days the crew ran out of food and water until finally supplies were sent from one of the Gulf countries and it was allowed to dock. When the contents of the ship were checked it was all harmless as the Chinese had said. The issue of the USA’s ability to turn off GPS and later banning China from using the suddenly ill-named International Space Station pushed China to forge its own path ahead.

What are some of my strengths?

Patience, determination (when I care), perseverance, easy-going attitude.

At least that’s how see myself. I wonder what others might think my strengths are?

How do I find peace?

I think I found it by travelling a long way and forfeiting a lot of the things that previously brought me pleasure in a less peaceful world (big city rat race office job). 

Making life a little less complex and being in an environment with fewer choices has made me more peaceful. If I had done this 10 or 20 years ago I think I would have felt more restless but right now it’s perfect.

Quote: Happiness is a virtue, not its reward – Baruch Spinoza

I didn’t understand this on first reading so shoved it into ChatGPT asking it to be explained to a twelve-year-old. Then I could make sense of it. 

The point of this statement seems to fall into place with time and practice. I can recall times when I knowingly did good things for some vague notion of brownie points. Maybe by repeatedly doing things like that, I learned the habit of doing good things and in time my reasons for doing them became less contrived. I have become happier over time as I’ve matured. 

I don’t believe in karma as such, in that I don’t believe that if I do something good then something good will happen to me, but that if I do something good it just makes me feel better. My karma is internalised rather than hoping for some kind of reciprocal external reward.

I took this picture because this was the result of trying to get excitable Leo onto his leash!