Are you receiving My vibrations, Detecting these Oscillations?
I’ve got a message for you That you’re gonna wanna hear Are you receiving me Loud and clear?
Signals in space Time has come A human race Together as one
I’ve got a message for you You’d better be ready There’s only growing up To keep the ship steady
Are you receiving These modulations? Mind control Manipulations
Message understood You’d better tell everyone That you’re ready For what will come
Inspired by the main story of the Three Body Problem and an allegory for a student of mine who is struggling to grow up to face the future. Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – radio and NaPoMo.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty healthy and active. Amy was out last night with Takky, Hangy and Berm so I had some free time to read, write and watch TV. And it appears to be more of the same tonight too. I want to be productive.
As I jumped into bed last night I caught this thought as I was opening up Telegram to get the latest reports from Rise of the Global South. ‘I read just enough tragic news that the axis of evil inflicts on people around the world to go to sleep with just the right amount of indignation.’
This month usually sees me making some adaptations to things that I do. I deleted a whole bunch of Substack subscriptions. One, because there are other things I want to do with my time and two, I’m sick of reading so much about the dysfunction and lies from and about the USA. It seems like inconsequential news to me these days. It is all so negative and decisive too. It’s not a good impact on the psyche.
I want to focus more on Asia and China as it is more relevant to my location and news is mostly just that – news. No opinions, no vague nonsense masquerading as news. And I also want to avoid news that is constantly comparing the USA and China. It’s kinda moot these days.
Today I’m grateful for:
A quiet day of few plans, all achieved.
The best thing about today was:
Spending some time dinking around in my room, trying to organise computer files, reading and writing, though no guitar playing today.
Something I learned today?
Through some miracle, Ipswich is in the top position in the Championship. It’s super close with Leeds and Leicester in the race too.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I spent some time this morning tidying up our cables along the fence.
I also cleaned out the litter tray and swept the floor in our bedroom.
Been through all my mp3s Got them into folders Making them easier to find Tagged with genre holders Downloaded semi-legally Some, decades ago Now they are all mine Apparently so
Now I have cloud storage Folders I can share 7 million songs Are waiting for you there Music, the great healer In any shape or form From drum to vinyl to CD And now digital the norm!
Been through all my vinyl got them into plastic sleeves protection from the dust and grime that passing time it leaves Cathartic, it was wholesome remembering the time when I purchased each and brought them home when they were all then mine
And now I have a flight case with a selection waiting there to play on my turntable and with some others share Music, the great healer it is a remedy to cure or at very least bring respite as its purpose is so pure
A little better this morning. I started feeling a little better last night but crashed out early deliriously in and out of consciousness hearing the duff duff of the DJ and Amy’s screams. Amy was the last one standing, as usual, dancing on her own as everyone else retired and left.
Today I’m grateful for:
Aing and Now, who have been borrowing our bike and car but put petrol in them and got the front tyre of the bike replaced when it went flat last night.
The best thing about today was:
Reading more of this book about the Rise and Fall of the British Empire, this time about the way the British dealt with China from 1800 onwards.
I’ve read about this history before and it still makes me upset. I kind of felt smug whilst reading it this time though, knowing how the UK is fairing in the world these days compared to China.
Something I learned today?
In Vietnam, for many drunk drivers, it’s cheaper to abandon the bike than to pay the fine. Now the police are wondering what to do with them all…
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I helped Baipad with work and motivation for about an hour and a half this morning and I think she carried on working after I left and hopefully finished them all.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 21. Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously. Yeah, yeah, you’re an individual, and people have to take you seriously, I get it. But at the end of the day, we’re all a bunch of ants trying to chase the same things. Lighten up.
I don’t take myself too seriously though I do take what I do seriously.
People say I am serious but I think that it is just that I am not easily amused by many people, not adults.
It’s hard to be serious surrounded by naughty 13-year-olds much of the day and whilst it’s still easy to fall down to their level I hope I at least pull them up a little bit to mine.
I don’t mind being a clown or a fool for the sake of the kids. It makes me laugh to think of adults looking down on me for clowning around.
I recently received a letter from PastMe which I had written one year previously. In that letter, it was scout week and Aing and Now were here for Aing’s graduation. And so it is this time, scout week and Aing and Now are visiting again for their friend’s graduation.
Yesterday we went on a walk up to Khun Korn waterfall where I couldn’t help myself and stripped down and jumped into the freezing waters and felt the breath pushed out of my body by the water dropping the ten metres or so onto my head. It felt amazing. I feel revitalised but also tired today.
It was a funny coincidence that for scout week the M3 students were also at Khun Korn so I dropped by and saw them all getting cold, wet and dirty. They looked like they were having begrudging fun.
The future is not clear so I’ll just keep going until I receive this letter and can reflect back on what happened. Amy and I have discussed possibilities such as my going to Australia for a little break and then coming back together. This would be around the end of the year. She is also considering going to work with Mai for a while if she gets pregnant again. She is definitely going to Athens and Santorini in July before coming back to help me with my visa again. We also discussed her return here to maybe teach a little again and think about opening a small cafe/restaurant here. I still hope she decides to do that because that was one of our original plans when moving here. I wonder what the situation will be by the time of reading this!?
The world is open to many possibilities for us, which is a good place to be.
Will I remember the struggle this year of dealing with my troublesome classes? Will it have been any better with my new classes? I hope I have found some strategies for better dealing with it.
I’m also busy being lazy. Reading, watching TV, listening to music. But also spending a lot of time updating 1994ever.com. Not that it will ever be finished but I hope I’m closer to having all the pre-2000s information completed by now. There’s still a lot of stuff to go through.
I’m enjoying life though not quite as much as last year. Right now, I feel a little stuck in an anticipatory wait. Maybe I need to make something happen next. Or maybe it’s just a feeling and not my reality. How am I feeling now?
These letters to myself are not as easy to write as they are to other people! So with that I’ll be off for now!
Today I’m feeling:
Sick with a cold. My sore throat was hurting through the night and I woke up with a head full of snot. I think I’ll not hang out for too long this morning before heading home and finding some medicine, rest and sleep.
Today I’m grateful for:
The pharmacy that was open in the village where I bought medicine for fever, sore throat and itchy nose. KhaoTang’s mum’s shop was closed today as were a few other places, possibly due to the Chinese New Year.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling very relaxed despite my sickness. I had nowhere to be and nothing to do beyond whatever I wanted. I wrote to Rob and caught him up on some of my news. I’ll try to keep that communication going again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Despite being hungry, eating was a bit of a struggle. I didn’t really have an appetite and even though I knew the food was tasty my receptors weren’t getting the message. I forced myself to eat it all though.
Something I learned today?
China made a microchip that uses light rather than electrons. It is said to be three thousand times faster than its electron equivalent and uses so little energy in comparison that it could last for 500 years before needing a recharge.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 15. Rest Before You Are Tired. Even if you love your job, and every day seems like a holiday, you need to take time to rest. You’re a human and not an android, never forget that.
I love rest but I also hate it. I lay down too much and spend many hours reading in that position. I love reading. It feels like resting. I like to get things done. I always like to be lazy. I push myself too much and my body forces me to stop. I’m still working on getting the balance right. Another decade or two and I should be good to go!
I took this picture because I thought these tiny little flowers were cute when I walked around Mum’s garden last week. My mind has been focused on words rather than pictures this week.
Tired, relaxed and lazy again. Today is a repeat episode of yesterday pretty much. Not excited, not unhappy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The cake that Amy came back with at lunchtime, presumably from Nong Oh who she was out with. A light chiffon with cashews in a thick caramel topping. It was nice in that it didn’t taste as sweet as it looked.
The best thing about today was:
Cleaning up the last pile of junk on the floor of my room. There is stuff there that is inspiring me to think of new lesson plans so I hung on to quite a bit of it. The floor is clear but I still need to go through the stuff on the shelves and that will mean more inspiration and ideas and then a concern about lack of time to execute all those ideas.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In the scheme of things, I did very little today. If there was anything out of my control then it had no lasting resonance with my memory.
Something I learned today?
From watching the interview with Nathan Rich I discovered that you can inject whisky into your veins and get drunk from it. I mean, it makes sense but it seems like a stupid thing to do when you can just drink the stuff!
That guy has certainly had an interesting life and we share a weird connection in that we both got into computing as a way to raise ourselves up in the world (and both into punk and then with interests in China).
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Today was all about Amy and being sympathetic to her situation with the unfolding drama therein.
Was the killing of hundreds of hairy worms on the avocado tree a good or vile act?
Tell about something you love doing that you’re terrible at. And tell about something you really do not like doing that you’re great at.
For the former, I guess it would be playing guitar, though I don’t really think that I am terrible. I’m just not good.
For the latter maybe Maths, though again, I wouldn’t say that I was great at it either. In fact, if I think about it I actually like learning about Maths but have an aversion to it because of a long-held hatred of my high school Maths teacher.
Even then, I’m over it (I should be because it was 40 years ago!) so I need to think of something else here.
It’s tough. I don’t consider myself particularly great at anything and at my age now I’m not really doing anything that I don’t like doing anymore.
I took this picture because this pup is cute and loves me.
Excellent. Got up 5 minutes earlier than usual so that I can incorporate some stretching into my morning exercise routine. Also gone back to two lots of exercise. The habit is fairly well entrenched now so doing a little extra is not too much of an issue.
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru David joining me briefly for a coffee at House. It cut into my writing time but actually, I appreciated a quick chat about AFL and racist English hooligans!
The best thing about today was:
Getting home around 2pm and getting lots of things done earlier than usual (trying to prioritise things). It’s not even 6pm at the moment and just a couple of things left to do. I was already contemplating going to bed and reading comics and I’ll do that soon I think.
I need to adjust my sleep time a little too, with getting up five minutes earlier and extra morning exercise. I don’t seem to have any problem falling asleep but I’ve not been getting good sleep recently due to waking up with pain in my right shoulder.
Something I learned today?
I read an interesting article on the West’s history of the Great Leap Forward in China and how no one who went there could find any evidence of a famine at all. There were food shortages due to 3 years of crop failure and the US, intent on destroying the Communist Party of China, then sanctioned grain into the country. However, the CPC continued to distribute grain to those most in need.
The whole narrative is posited to be pure Western propaganda and the figures quoted for the number of people who died were just the usual number of people that died anyway. When something is quoted as ‘6 million people died during the famine’ it implies that it would be on top of the normal death rate.
The author provided lots of evidence and it also reinforces other articles I’ve read recently stating that the US war with China started when they realised the Nationalists would be defeated by the communists.
Over time, I’ve become more convinced of the lies and deceit at play in the hands of the USA and it has become much harder to decide what is the truth. As the old phrase states, ‘If you see the lips moving then you know they are lying.’
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
The usual encouragement to my students for trying their best.
What were some moments of joy I experienced this year?
This is hard for me to recall specifically but as moments of joy did not particularly stand out (which doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy or having a great time) I do recall moments of savouring. And these too are not specific but I do recall the feeling when it occurs.
Sometimes this might be several times a day and other times maybe just once a week. It could be on a bike ride, drinking a coffee, eating food or just sitting and reflecting. That feeling has come more often in recent years rather than moments of joy.
I took this picture because Cappuccino looked beautiful sitting in the soft light of the sunrise this morning.
How to dodge all the cynics in the hall? Hope has the knives out against the thinkers Psyches ripped asunder of those held in thrall Long gone, the days the tailors danced with tinkers
Physically good but took me a while to feel better after yesterday’s tantrum. Listening to my student’s reading helped though. I started smiling when they tried and tried until they got the words right. Getting some writing done during the long break between classes also helped as it focused my mind on other things.
Today I’m grateful for:
Receiving an order for the Jornada Del Muerto LP from someone in the UK. Now I have to get my act together to pack it to ship there!
The best thing about today was:
Walking around school after classes and hanging out with students watching or playing their sports. It was a good atmosphere that I was happy to stay around for rather than dashing home.
Something I learned today?
China has introduced measures that allow Taiwanese people better access and integration into Fujian as a countermeasure to the US-led independence movement. The US doesn’t give a shit about Taiwanese people.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Despite being difficult in my class and me deducting points for disrespect, it was Baibua’s birthday today and I gave her twenty baht for which she was very surprised and grateful.
I congratulated Nicha for getting up the courage to talk to the boy she liked though she was disappointed that he didn’t show any interest in her.
What is something I hope to understand better?
Myself (is my obtuse answer).
Right now, it is the Thai language. I feel my learning has stunted a little recently or at least slowed. I do notice increased recognition and being able to read two words of subtitles now rather than one. I guess I’m fine with it. My brain feels like it is at capacity most of the time. Squeezing new things in scares me that it is squeezing old things out.
And, having said that, there are a million things I might hope to understand better
I took this picture on the walk up to LiKhai the other day because this beast was blocking the way with its half smile. Even if it was friendly I wasn’t keen to get near those horns or its back legs. We got by without incident thankfully.
Sat here staring at the walls Tracing back this year of ruin The picture hung now calls To settle any trouble brewing Transcendence roams these halls Embracing the silence here It’s the holy land that recalls The artist’s vision clear
Walking through the lives And visions of those long gone A tiny thought survives Where this moment must belong When this awe arrives Angels will serenade the air Unfolding before the eyes Of those chosen to be there
Great. Got up as usual and did some arm exercises, went for coffees and then headed off to meet Bruno and walk up the LiKhai Valley. After a good walk up there and a super refreshing swim in the waterfall, I felt even better. A delicious affogato at Utopia after some veggie noodles and I relaxed into a fabulous afternoon nap before preparing for guests in the evening as Amy prepared Korean food for her mum, Dad, Auntie, Nong Aun and her friend and I talked a little with everyone. A wonderful day.
Today I’m grateful for:
The lady who made vegetarian noodle soup for my lunch. To be honest it was pretty bland and tasteless but somehow it felt filling and refreshing. The lady was in the shop by herself and there weren’t many customers (probably due to the holiday) but I’m glad she was there.
The best thing about today was:
Definitely jumping in the water in the stream running down the valley. The bottom of the stream wasn’t visible and I slipped down into the water, completely submerged before breast stroking across to where the water was pouring over the rocks from above. The weather today was perfect and the water was a good (cold) temperature to refresh and revive.
Something I learned today?
After NASA banned any cooperation with China in connection with space, they are now asking for samples of moon rock that China recently brought back from there.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
As we were coming out of the valley a foreign couple that we’d seen ride by earlier stopped and asked about going to Mae Salong, so I gave them the rough directions and some advice on how long it would take and where else to go.
I loaned Amy’s dad some Kabuki comic books that I have though I doubt if he can understand them fully. He borrowed some books from me a couple of years ago and still hasn’t given them back. I reminded him again as he was taking these!
If I could relive any day from my past, which day would I choose?
This ties in with the question on Sunday about my favourite parts of the city and the walk I like in Sydney. I would relive the day that TLJ and I went exploring down there when we snuck out of the office for a long lunch. I was desperately excited with new love at that time.
I took this picture because this was the swimming hole I enjoyed getting wet in today.
These words are a photograph A fight against time Just a brief exposure Into this life of mine A snapshot, incomplete Make of it what you will It’s your story too This one I’m living still
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good again after a good cannabutter-aided sleep. My body is a little stiff but I was happy to see more definition when I looked in the mirror this morning. Slowly, slowly getting to the shape I might like.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s banana muffins, small, light and so delicious I ate three immediately.
The best thing about today was:
Starting a new book. This time it’s Wuthering Heights. I read the first couple of chapters and already have a feel for the story.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The internet is often not good in my room and today was a little frustrating as it it difficult to play guitar along with the app I use and then trying to prepare for my classes tomorrow. I just gave up and came inside.
Something I learned today?
It’s thought that this year China reached peak carbon. Maybe the first country to do so?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Today has been a relatively quiet day with few interactions and mostly general acts neither good or bad.
I did go and wait on the bridge for Amy’s som tum food delivery.
A future good deed I’m considering is painting our house number on the bridge so delivery drivers can find us more easily.
27th Feb 2024 – Our bridge will be gone in the next couple of months as part of widening the road in our soi. Let’s see what it all looks like in the end and maybe I’ll have to make a sign.
What is a piece of advice that I would give to my younger self?
My ten-year-old self: Take every opportunity to try new things. Don’t worry about what other people think. (I wouldn’t have taken this advice as I was too stubborn and contrarian)
My twenty-year-old self: The way you are feeling is not normal, go see a psychiatrist. Also, stop using alcohol as medication.
My thirty-year-old self: Now you’re getting there. About time. Keep going with those adventures. You still need to learn to love yourself more, this will stop you from hurting and hurting others. Stop drinking.
My forty-year-old self: You’re almost there. Almost worked everything out. Keep doing what you’re doing. Stop drinking.
My fifty-year-old self: Look at you, slowly getting fit and healthy, mentally and physically. You’re understanding that life is meaningless but don’t tell the kids that! Give hope. Share goodness. Be wary of false prophets and the pedestal you put them up on.
What is your favorite part about your town or city?
Let’s think about the three main places I have lived. Wimborne, Dorset, UK. Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. Ban Huai Phlu, Chiang Rai, Thailand.
Wimborne: After my formative teenage years growing up in the countryside outside Wimborne, when both grandparents had passed away, we moved to Colehill on the outskirts of the town but still within walking distance if the weather was suitable.
One summer I scored ten cheap hits of acid and decided to spread them out over the weekends doing a half on Saturday and a half on Sunday. From there my mind was open to many things and I would often head off out for a random walk. I loved the fields and though I rarely went near it, also the river.
One Sunday afternoon I headed down the hill into the Stour Valley with pollen floating through the air as you might imagine in a fairy tale. I knew where I was without knowing where I was, following tracks and trails over fences and through fields, ending up at the river. I don’t recall which way I ended up coming home but I revisited this walk one time when visiting my mum in 2011(?) and it was still an enjoyable excursion.
Back then, though perhaps after that summer, I would also ride my pushbike around similar areas that led to discovering the old train lines and then trying to follow them from Poole to Ferndown. Perhaps it is these times that endear me to the countryside still.
Sydney: There is a walk from around St Leonards that goes through some bushland along Flat Rock Creek, down into a ravine that opens up into a park that then goes down to the harbour at Cammeray.
This walk is sentimental for me as it recalls the time of new blooming love, passion and understanding. Long lazy walks with TLJ found my mind opening to so many new things that I needed to replace in my life. It meant leaving some things behind, heartache for some and eventually for us all.
I recall one time, escaping home with the idea that a choice needs to be made and lying in the park alone in the warm spring evening that decision was finally made. My life took a new course from there. That was 1998.
Chiang Rai: It is comparable to the area in Wimborne, a valley that leads to the river. Beyond the bypass that takes me to and from work the valley opens out long and wide, the mountains on the other side seem far far away. The jungle here has long been cleared for rice fields and there have been times that I have been riding my motorbike here, crisscrossing the land to trying and understand how everything fits together, that reminds me of the walk in Wimborne.
The first time I rode here I was so excited that I returned again the next day. I’ve given it a little break this year because things change here quite quickly so will check it out again and find new surprises.
I took this picture because Noey wasn’t working today. When she is working and I’m late she always messages me asking where I am so today I sent her this picture asking where she was. Predictably, she has exams.
It’s a labour of love, not big dreams But about what being human means Sticking a dollar in the cup, passing through This is all a gift from me to you And back again, that’s our reflection Open to each other’s introspection In for a penny, in for a pound Let’s pass the bucket of life around
Today I’m feeling:
A good vibe. This morning is not too hot. I lazily prepared for the day by rolling back and forth in bed due to stiffness finally getting up and mosying along to Utopia for a delicious throat-soothing coffee. Art told me about his ride to Doi Ang Chang and it looks like a great ride so I messaged Bruno to plan to go there next weekend.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s dad feeling good enough to come out to Central and eat at the seafood restaurant there, where we treated him for his birthday, Amy’s mum for selling her apartments and Nong Aun (Amy’s brother’s girlfriend) for getting a job as a teacher here.
The best thing about today was:
The first coffee was pretty spot on. Meeting Baipad’s mum, sister and three super cute cats was fun.
The fish speciality at Laem Charoen was delicious for lunch. The afternoon and evening are a relaxing chill-out. It’s been a good day.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My sore throat was getting me down a little at times today but I finally got to rest a little for an hour or so after lunch and it’s improved a little since taking some medicine. I dealt with it by soldiering on and despite feeling a little grumpy I don’t think it showed that much.
Something I learned today?
A theory behind renewed conflict in the Middle East is to cut off oil to China. A terrorist attack is said to be rumoured on US soil that will trigger them into war with Iran.
This whole ridiculous idea seems more likely every day. The US is putting all its pieces into play in preparation. The US is isolating itself more and more from the rest of the world and the rest of the world is looking forward to its downfall.
Whilst people were scoffing at the idea of the end of the Empire last year, this view is now going mainstream.
What’s on my mind right now?
This morning I will go and meet my student Baipad and her mum to introduce myself as her teacher. She lives in our village and since opening up to me about her struggles with being bullied in primary school and her father passing away a few years ago I’ve tried to encourage and support her. As she lives close by I suggested that once a week I can bring her home from school and hopefully introduce her to Amy so she can pick up on some confidence-building skills and keep up her English, which she is pretty good at in general.
I took this picture this morning because this oversized asparagus-looking plant is so big that I had to wide angle the shot to get it all in the picture. The multiple mini flowers are cute though not the spectacle-worthy of a stalk growth of this size.
No longer memories in a desert That night of drunken play Lost to the pictured word That claims all that happened that day
Today I’m feeling:
Anxious and excited as classroom days resume. The fun, the fighting, the lessons we all learn.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finding two useful textbooks in the teacher’s room which I immediately turned one part of the text into a lesson that I used for the grade 7 class. I figured it would be pretty easy revision and just take an hour but they managed to stretch it to two with lots of faffing around.
The best thing about today was:
Listening to the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast about the Volcano Suns album ‘Thing of Beauty’ on the way home from work and then in the evening playing guitar along to a couple of tunes from it. Love that band.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
A couple of my grade 7 students were a little temperamental in my class this afternoon and tested my patience a lot. It’s early days as we all get used to each other again and instead of getting too bothered, I tried to find other solutions to get them back in line.
Something I learned today?
I read about the China-Laos rail line that crosses the border in Laos at a place called Botan. The crossing in 1993 was little more than a single iron bar gate but now lots of investment has grown the city rapidly. Despite the economic slowdown and the pandemic’s effect on travel, Laotians are hoping that this is a springboard to a better future.
List three goals for this month.
Renew my tourist visa. This is a must!
Get back to the exercise routine I had before the holiday.
Get back to around 80kg again, whilst improving my fitness.
Nam took this picture because the class insisted on a photo with everyone showing off the koala souvenirs I gifted to them.
1994ever 