Never admit that the gods will win
Even if you know it true
It’s your dream you’re murdering
If such you are admitting to
Accept the contradiction
So that the greatest art is created
It’s a long line of tradition
In which the battle is clearly stated
Children born with great dreams
Eyes turn cold when they learn
Nothing is ever what it seems
And for that, the heart must yearn
The lovers and kings will dance and drink
Until they can masquerade no more
Because there comes a time to stop and think
What was all that dancing for?

inspired by this post by John Coyote

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Today I’m feeling:

I slept so badly last night maybe because I had that nap that left me exhausted but also not helped by the humid air that even with the window open and the fan sucking in air did little to help. Woke up before my alarm and bumbled around before riding my pushbike to Utopia. Still not sure how I feel yet.
(Later) I managed to get going and keep going until now, late afternoon, shopping and vacuuming and just now playing guitar and reading but my body is feeling like it will enjoy sleep again. Let’s just hope it is better than last night.

Today I’m grateful for:

Haagen and Mei for getting a very drunk Amy safely home tonight. I don’t like to see Amy like that, it looks like it has gone beyond happiness and towards oblivion. I’ll never ask her to stop drinking because I know she enjoys it so much but I would like her to moderate better. As I’m not drinking these days it is difficult for me to share her feeling and I find myself frustrated. I generally don’t like hanging around people when they have had too much to drink unless I feel compelled to take care of them. Of course, I will take care of Amy and I hope that sometime she will start to feel like me in that the hangovers counter the pleasure to a negative degree.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling better than yesterday though I am wondering if I may be sick with something. Last week there were free covid test kits in the teacher’s room as many people supposedly have had it recently. Also, a couple of my students have looked sick in my classes.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I asked Art to come with me to the aircon repair shop next door to Utopia and see if he could convince them to come and fix mine. This time the lady said that the mechanic was too busy. So it seems like he’s not sick anymore. Well, too bad for them. They did mention another aircon shop and Art sent little Art out to see if they could help but he soon came back and said that they close on Sundays. I really appreciate all the help they gave me and makes me feel that I have at least some friendly local acquaintances here.
I will drop by that shop tomorrow afternoon and see if they can help me. I’d like to get it fixed before Amy comes back which we realised is only 4 weeks away now!

Something I learned today?

I watched a video of a mosh-style hardcore band (Speed) touring South East Asia and it reminded me of the documentary I took part in about ten years ago. Watching the reactions of the band members to the quirks of South East Asian life and the enthusiasm took me back to my own experiences and made me miss Kimi and the thought that I will find it hard to travel there again without him being around. Writing this also reminded me to contact Asikin, Kimi’s widow, which I just did.

How can I improve this moment?

Damn, I’m in bed, about to do some Thai study and a bit of reading before sleeping. The aircon seems to be working again (fan only) and I’m prepared for a good sleep. This moment may only be improved by actually being asleep.
I will try to improve with some positive reflections to take into my dreams.