Tag: classroom

Walking To Happiness – 21st February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 10 Comments

Let’s roll the rock, let’s roll it up
The mountain doesn’t exist
When the rock, it rolls on down
In its nature not to resist

And what’s your nature? ask yourself
You are the rock, you are the mountain
Walk right on up to the top
To drink from the happy fountain

Submitted to WDYS 226

Today I’m feeling:

Good for taking an extra 30 minutes snooze this morning.  I could have pushed through and got up and exercised but subconsciously I knew that I slept late last night because I wasn’t feeling tired and I was telling myself that I should rest more.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Na bringing us a small gift today.  We invited her over again to make another contact if we need a cat sitter in the future.  We’ve never needed to ask her but I think she would be happy enough to do it and she seems quite reasonable and responsible.

The best thing about today was:

I taught my grade 10s the Sexual Abuse lesson that I had used a couple of years ago.  I had to adapt it a little and put in a lot of translation so that they could fully grasp all the concepts.  They seemed to follow it well enough, especially the video of the Thai girl speaking out about being abused by a teacher.

They particularly perked up when we came to talk about words about sex, though they started off shyly until I asked them what about all the bad words that you are not supposed to say?  Once they got the green light on that, they were off and running.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Late this afternoon I found out that there is an art event again tomorrow morning.  I asked a few of my students but they didn’t know anything about it.  As usual, communication sucks but I thought that perhaps I can use it to my advantage.

I came home and forgot about it though until one student contacted me, having obviously heard about the event from somewhere, asking if they could go to the event instead of class.  Well, doesn’t that sound like a grand idea?  But I kept them hanging and just replied ‘Maybe….’

Actually, if I had known something about it I could have prepared some tasks to at least incorporate the event into a lesson somehow.  As it is, the kids will probably wander around the event for a few minutes and then go back to the classroom and play on their phones for the rest of the two hours.  And so will I, except I will go off for coffee instead.

Something I learned today?

Hippos can’t swim but they can sleep underwater.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

The kids are mostly in a pretty good mood with the end of the semester approaching and I was being pulled in many directions to join and chat with different groups at different times during the day.

Before leaving to come home I usually walk around the park to see which students are hanging out there and I’ll chat briefly with the ones I know and sometimes ones I don’t know will start a conversation too.

This afternoon, Kaowfang, Miyor and Husna were walking by and Kaowfang, as always, was talking about the latest boy that she likes.  Then she spotted the boy that Miyor likes and I feigned to bring him over and Miyor pulled me back.

We walked off in different directions but crossed paths again a few minutes later and Miyor went off to sit down whilst Kaowfang and Husna started telling me that Miyor was angry and upset with them.  I thought maybe because we were teasing her about the boy that she likes.

I didn’t have time to get involved further in their coming-of-age quarrels but was messaged later that they were having a real problem with Miyor and they didn’t know how to deal with it.  They said she was vain, self-centred and selfish!  Wow! I didn’t see that coming.  Miyor is a pretty quiet girl in class and I never heard any bad talk either from or about her.

I asked Kaowfang if she had talked directly to Miyor about it but she said that she would just get angry and not listen anyway.

I suggested that perhaps Miyor is upset because she just doesn’t like people talking about her, either good or bad and that maybe whilst we were playing and joking about the boy she actually felt quite serious about it.  I also said that, really, it’s none of our business who she likes or doesn’t like so perhaps we can not talk about this with her next time.

Kaowfang thanked me for the suggestion.  Let’s see what happens.  Here I am still traversing the perils of teenage relationships.

What does love mean to me?

I find love a little difficult to define though I know it is what I feel for certain people and about certain things.  Love changes throughout our lives so its definition changes.

The love I have for Amy doesn’t feel the same as the love I had for my first girlfriend (which I might hesitate to even call love now).  It is also different to the love I have for my mum or my students or my home.

So what does it mean?  Warmth, acceptance, understanding, kindness, growth.

For me, love also means fidelity.  I think that if you cheat on your partner then you have stopped loving them.  I say that without judgement as I have cheated before.  When that happened I knew that I was no longer in love.

Now, having learned that I understand that it is better to break up with someone if you no longer love them, before sharing your love somewhere else.  Either way is heartbreak but one is more morally acceptable for me.

I took this picture because Nong Na came and updated us on her first year at university so far.

Another Vapid Poem – 14th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

How many vapid words I read today?
So much written with nothing to say
Some thought many were written by me
It’s true, I accept responsibility

“All the flowers shine bright in glory”
The charming prince wins every story
Look out everyone, it’s yet another verse
Praised by all yet poetically worse!

How many more vapid words will I read?

60 words written for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt: Vapid

Today I’m feeling:

Upbeat though could have done with a couple more hours of sleep. Still, here we are, up and about.

Today I’m grateful for:

This soda water I’m drinking right now.  The third of the evening.  The temperature is starting to rise a little as the mild winter fades.  I’m thirsty and probably going to suffer later having to get up to pee during the night.  Never mind.  I’m a human being and this is how my body works.

The best thing about today was:

In my first class with grade 10s I was teaching about a topic one of them had chosen – European History.  It’s nothing to do with what they are supposed to be learning about but I wanted them to suggest ideas for topics so that I knew it might hold their interest.  I found a Middle Ages in 5 Minutes video and used AI to pull out ten questions from it.  I grabbed the transcript to print out for the students and as I was expecting, they were quite shocked to see so much text and many words they’d never come across before.

I started the lesson by telling them that the topic is European History and to not be scared of what they are seeing and hearing.  What I will be teaching them in the class is English and not history.  I advised them that they didn’t have to understand everything and not to stress themselves about it.

First, we watched the video at three-quarter speed and at the end of it, the best English speaker in the class looked at me exasperated saying that she didn’t understand anything!  I told her that that was fine and not to give up.

I had drawn up a list of words for them to translate into Thai to help them a little and we talked around those a little to make sure that they had found and understood the correct meanings.  Then I had them do a word race, trying to find the word that I said in the text and they all got into that as it was competitive.

Then we watched the video again and, again, the students looked a little confused and lacking confidence.  I told them that they are feeling like this because they are expecting to fully understand something before attempting something connected to it.  I told them that that is often a luxury we can’t afford when learning something.  I said that when we are young children we might watch TV, something that we don’t understand and can’t explain but the words and pictures are making connections in our brains.  This is what they have been doing today.  They seemed dubious.

Finally, we attempted the quiz which was ten multiple-choice questions.  They needed a good understanding of English for them so I guided them with ideas of what to search for in the text, asking them questions, prompting and testing.  They all struggled through the first few questions but slowly they started being able to answer them more swiftly and I stopped them at one point praising them and reminding them of how they had arrived at this point.

Usually, these students are itching to go and eat as the class is before lunch but today we ran over time as they were all quite pleased at what they had done today.  Maybe they will remember little of the details of today but next time they are faced with what seems an ominous task they will feel more confident.  Perhaps some will be reminded of some of the information when they see pictures of old cathedrals or hear the names of some English and French kings.

That was a great lesson for all of us today!

And then….for my second class, I split my grade 7’s into random groups of 5 or 6 and had them come read together and answer questions with spoken English, rather than writing, where it is easy to copy each other’s answers.

This really tested some of the students who think they can cruise through by copying.  This is not the best method of teaching but compared with what I see going on in some other classrooms I’m hoping it is a little more effective and encouraging for the students.

I was happy with the way this class went too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Last night Amy was in a tipsy playful mood and while I was already in bed, settled into a book, she came in looking serious.  She said she wanted to talk to me seriously about something.  This was a bit surprising to me as she had been happy with her wine most of the evening.  I said ‘ok’, not really knowing what to expect.

Her face was serious and she looked teary and struggled to say words, hiding her face in a shameful manner.  I was still slightly bemused but also on my guard.  What is she going to tell me?  What is so difficult to say?  What happened?  I was mentally and physically preparing for a confession of infidelity.

Finally, after a few minutes of this acting, she proffered ‘Do you think I should get my nose heightened?  I know you like it small but I want it to be bigger.’  She laughed and cackled at this and I reminded her (as we have talked about this before) that I love her little nose but if she’s not happy with it then she can do what she wants.

She asked me ‘What would you do if I told you I had cheated on you?’  I stoically said ‘If that happened, we’d have to talk it out and decide what to do.’  Ultimately that is all that gets done in that situation whether it’s amicable or not.

Amy went off back to her wine and movie and I congratulated myself on my calm in such a situation.  It was good to practice going through an emotional test like this.  Occasionally, I will walk through situations in my head to see how I might react, mentally preparing.  It’s not always effective but it’s better than being knocked off your feet by things.

Something I learned today?

Over the last few days, I’ve been watching more Little Chinese Everywhere videos as Yan was travelling through Iran.  I learned a lot about their local crafts and was reminded of how wonderful and welcoming the people there are.  I would have loved to have gone there when I was younger but I have lost the travel bug a little recently.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

With it being Valentine’s Day, as is tradition here, students were giving out heart stickers to each other and to me too.  I also had some extra candies.  When I ran out of those I peeled off the stickers from my shirt and passed them on to students, hoping to be sticker-free by the time I got home.  

I remember last year finding these stickers in the washing machine, even weeks later because there were still some stuck on my shirt when I put it in the wash.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  17. Think About Others. Just be mindful, that’s all. We all have families, bills to pay, and our own issues. Don’t always make everything about yourself.

I believe that I am quite good at this but I would say that I do not involve myself with others lives unless invited.  

I’m not a chatterbox or the type of person who charms up banal conversation to form connections.  

Perhaps that makes me a little standoffish, maybe even self-centred but actually I care very much about people and what is going on with them and I will help when I can and forgive when they have their own things going on.

Miyor took this picture because she came to take a photo of my computer screen and I joked that she wanted a picture of me. I’ll try and get a haircut this weekend.

Walking In Darkness – 26th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Without the light, it’s easy to submit
Wild and brave men no longer thrive
Those empty spaces are full of it
Desperate hands grasping to survive

These men bleed, kept in silence
There’s no longer a world to save
Tired of all the endless violence
In darkness rot the men so brave

Inspired by this post at John Coyote’s blog
17th Dec 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – darkness

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more awake this morning after struggling to get up.  I really wanted to sleep more.  I noticed that my stomach has lost a little more excess flab so I’m happy about that.  Keep going.

Today I’m grateful for:

The receptionist at the dental clinic who happily changed my dental appointment from next week to mid-February because, and I told her this, I don’t have any money to pay until I paid again.  We both talked in a mixture of English and Thai and could understand each other clearly and I wai’d her my thanks as I left.

The best thing about today was:

…well, it seems strange to call this the best thing but it is certainly something that stands out. 

For my last grade 7 class of the day, I asked the kids to log in to the Quiz on their phones.  Aomsin, who was sitting right in front of me in the front row, said she couldn’t because she had no battery.  I explained to her in English that I told the class many times that for my class they must always have enough battery and good internet access. 

Aomsin’s English is not that good yet though and whilst she could tell that I was being serious she clearly did not understand the details.  This was Friday afternoon, the last hours of the day and I was feeling laid back and playful.  The other kids could sense that.  I told her that I take away 5 points in the system if they are not prepared. I was smiling and had no intention to do that but wanted her to know that she should always be prepared.

Anyway, I translated into Thai for her so she could understand and she nodded and looked down at her phone.  Gunn, sitting next to her, looked at me, looked at her and then looked at me again.  Aomsin then started talking in Thai, sounding like complaining-explaining and looked back up to me, with a slightly pleading face and then I saw a tear fall down each of her cheeks. 

I couldn’t believe it.  I wiped away each tear and said ‘Hey, come on, it’s not that serious.’ Again, she didn’t quite get it.  I comforted her and told her in Thai that I was only playing with her. 

Gunn cracked up laughing at her but I wanted her to feel better.  Then she started really balling her eyes out but also laughing at the same time.  Laughing and crying at herself and her friends.  It was like she really wanted to feel an emotion deeply but also realised how absurd it was.  She was smiling and laughing but couldn’t stop herself from crying. 

Other kids started paying attention and couldn’t understand why everyone looked happy and smiling but Aomsin was crying.  Gunn quickly offered a solution with his charger (why didn’t she just ask him to borrow it in the first place!) and even that couldn’t settle her down.  Gunn talked some more to her and I went and attended a couple of other students before coming back after a few minutes. 

She had settled herself by this time but when I asked her to do the quiz she said she couldn’t yet.  I got down on my knees and wai’d her my apologies many times over and both she and Gunn cracked up laughing again.

I guess it’s a good lesson for me that not everyone gets the vibe or feeling of the class and whilst I can be quite strict about what I want I’m not so often angry about anything. I can sense Aomsin is sensitive, not just in my class but in general and I should be aware of that and make sure that she understands when something is playful or serious.  I could be wrong but I don’t think she was really upset with what happened and maybe there were other things going on for her and she was having a bad day and this just tipped her over the edge.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After picking up my coffee and making sure to be back in school for first class I was wondering why the building was so quiet.  No kids!  What’s going on? You can read more below.  How did I handle it?  By taking the free time opportunity to write here.

Something I learned today?

This morning my first class was delayed as there was something going on.  As I was in the classroom ready to teach I decided to go and find out what it was all about.  It was about the upcoming election for a student to the school board. 

I walked around and ended up talking with Jet and asked her who she would vote for and why.  I then asked if she would want to run for election when she was in grade 11 and she said ‘Why would I want to do that!?’ 

Ok, I said, who do you think in your class would be suitable and she thought Anchan.  She said Anchan is a little older than the rest of the class and can control them quite well.  I wasn’t too surprised at this as I could see last year that she had some leadership qualities if she chose to go in that direction.  It was interesting to hear this from another student though.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan a positive message based on what Jet had said above, to show my support and pride in her.  I told her to keep going. (Just as I told myself this morning – keep going!)

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 6. Keep a Journal. No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. “I don’t want to be a writer” you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer.

Journaling has only become a habit since moving to Thailand and somewhat inspired by starting 1994ever to document my year in 1994.  Because I have ended up with fewer external things to do I have had more time to develop this habit and it doesn’t feel like a chore like when I was a teenager trying to keep up a diary.  As the idea states you become a better thinker and that is what I want to be.  Yesterday’s idea was about strengthening the body through exercise, today is about strengthening the brain through journaling.

I took this picture because we had to cut our three big trees down as the roots would fuck up the buildings. It looks so strange and we’re a little sad because they were big healthy trees that gave a lot of shade.

The Primal Egg – 25th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When you are walking towards your maker
Be prepared with the biggest machine gun
Point it right between their eyes
And ask them first, ‘What have I done?’

Ask your questions, demanding proof
Let there be no pulling of the leg
Your maker may only pronounce the truth
‘What came first, the chicken or the egg?’

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good but a little tired despite sleeping quite well. 

I can feel my muscles aching from the exercising that I’ve been doing.  Not just aching but feels like them splitting and dividing under my skin.  It’s a tolerable pain that indicates growth, at least to my monkey brain.  It doesn’t feel like an injury though my right shoulder is still definitely injured.  I need to find some exercises where I can still use my arms and chest without injuring the shoulder further.  I adapted my normal arms workout this morning to compensate and that went ok.

Today I’m grateful for:

Bronwyn sending me some old photos of me, my mum and my dad.  These are pictures that my mum had and I had seen from time to time in my youth. 

They were passed onto Bronwyn to leave for Hayden in the future but I’m glad to see them again. 

I also found out that there was a book that my mum wrote quotes and poetry in and I’m interested to see that at some point.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching the new grade 10 class and describing what would happen in real life if they failed to do the work that they are employed to do, just as some students did last week for my class work when I wasn’t there and assigned them something to do in my absence. 

I described our classroom as the place of employment, myself as the boss and them as the employees.  I showed them on the board that I was promoting some of my employees and demoting others and that in our classroom this would be indicated by grades. 

Everyone started at grade 2 (in the middle) but the students who did my work are now at grade 3 whilst those that didn’t are now at grade 1.  This certainly got everyone’s attention.  I told them that in a real-life work situation, they would likely no longer have a job!

I really enjoyed explaining this and I could see the satisfaction on the newly promoted students faces.  All they had to do was what was asked and they’ve been rewarded.  I feel like there was some real learning happening and it made me happy to see.  I kept the mood light throughout all this but they understood the ramifications of their actions.

In the second act of synchronicity for the day, I read this in an online newsletter and messaged the class to discuss its meaning:

“’I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday’”

Even writing this is making me feel somewhat smug! Haha.

Something I learned today?

There’s an ant species that’s unique to New York City, known as the ManhattAnt.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I’ve been trying to get Baipad to describe her own personality to me because she described her cousin’s personality as similar to her own but she could only answer with ‘you already know.’  I tried to explain that we see ourselves differently from how others see us. 

This morning I sat down with her and Jan, with Apple sitting opposite and I said, ‘Come on, let’s play a game.  Here’s a list of adjectives, pick ten that describe Apple and we had fun doing that for ten minutes.  As I left I told them that tomorrow we will do the same for Jan.  And at the weekend I will ask Baipad again to see if she can answer for herself.

I sat with one of my poor grade 7 students (Nut) in class this morning and helped her a lot with trying to understand the text we were reading and how to answer the questions.  Some days she is ok to accept my help and today was one of those.  When I went to help others she pulled me back to finishing helping her first.  I was glad to see this and I think she was glad of my help.  She will never be a great English speaker but she is doing all that I ask of her.

I sent a message to JubJib reminding her that perfection is a myth.  She happily admits to requiring perfection from herself.

What do I need to embrace about myself?

I’ve become more accepting of my own foibles as I’ve aged.  As a sign of maturity, I don’t tend to do things that I wish I hadn’t any more.  I’m equating embracing and acceptance here but they feel quite comparable at this age.  I am happy with myself and understand myself very well.  I know my weaknesses and attempt to improve them slowly without punishing myself.

Where do I hope to be one year from now?

This is an interesting question for me this time as I feel a little in limbo.  I am very happy where I am but also considering where do I go from here?

I could quite comfortably maintain my life the way it is.  I have no real goals to aim for these days, just continuous improvement.  This feels possible due to stability and not having to deal with other stresses that come with the pursuit of new things.

In this way, I’m quite happy to defer to Amy’s ideas about what she wants in the future.  That may be a big shock when it comes time for action though, this I know.

Should I have a specific goal for this coming year?  I don’t feel particularly ambitious.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 5. Exercise Daily. I didn’t get this until recently. A healthy body is where you have to start everything in life. If you can’t build a healthy and strong body, what CAN you build in life?

I was quite athletic as a child, particularly loving football but once I discovered booze and cigarettes that all slowly went downhill.

Since finally being mostly free of those vices I have started exercising and by doing it first thing in the morning I’ve been able to slowly introduce and lengthen the time spent doing it as I also slowly started to feel the benefits.

Previously I would consistently make the mistake of overdoing the exercise when I would feel the need to get back into it.  It’s a mistake probably 80% of us make.

But as I was reading more about developing habits and starting small and as I’ve been teaching my kids about doing things little by little, that idea has slowly slipped into my own brain to find a better way.

Perhaps when I was younger I didn’t want to admit that I was aging.  As it took many years to develop this beer belly I’ve accepted that it will take many years to lose it too.

Again, as synchronicity goes, I also just read this:

“The key to exercising regularly, losing weight, being more productive, and achieving success is understanding how habits work.” – Charles Duhigg

I took this picture last week because I was fascinated by the symmetry of this freshly sprouted pineapple. No new pictures today.

Little Shi – 9th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

Little Shi was making his own plans
Putting his destiny in his own hands
From the fields to the city streets
Amongst the learned he competes

In the trees, he’d monkey around
Exploring the minutiae of life he found
Every little step that he was taking
Expanded the world he was making

And while those around studied well
They learned little that he could tell
He found a different meaning to success
Found his own way to progress

The things his father had been denied
Would not stop this little dragon’s rise
As the littlest kid he stood above
Remaining humble and sharing love

Until to the mountain, he climbed alone
All the horizons became his home

Inspired by a true story in Zachary Mexico’s China Underground
16th Nov 2024 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and positive though starting to flake a little now it’s lunchtime.  My first class was a little chaotic and frustrating but hopefully the afternoon classes will be more uplifting.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having a bag of candy again that I can gift to random students when I feel like it.  Am I the Candyman?  A little bribery goes a long way.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to control myself when pushed to the edge of my patience several times. 

It helps that I like the kids so much and they make me laugh a lot but sometimes I wish I was just teaching the more mature students.  Sometimes I feel embarrassed for myself, wondering what other teachers might think if they came into the classroom when children are noisy and not paying attention.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I wanted to go to the hospital on the way back home but the traffic was busy and getting out of the hospital with a car now is a pain in the ass since the U-turn has been closed off because everyone was using it to skip the traffic lights.  I was too tired to bother coming back out on the motorbike so will try again tomorrow when I can leave school a little earlier and hopefully, there’s a little less traffic.

Something I learned today?

Jerry Lewis made a controversial film called The Day The Clown Cried in 1972 and it was never released and has been hidden away ever since. 

A couple of years before he died he agreed that it could be released but only after he and those that were critical of the ideas in the movie had probably died too.  So then it was decided to be released in June 2024.  The movie’s story sounds interesting and thought-provoking.  I wonder what it will be like.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As my grade 8 students were reading the text I gave them I let them try to pronounce the difficult words and gave them positive feedback when they got them right.

I followed up with Paen that she was feeling ok as I didn’t see her on Friday and she didn’t reply to my messages since then.  She said she was sick but I’m not sure if something happened with Praew that has upset her.

I was going to punish Program for being late to class without communicating with me but I decided to show him that that was my intention, but this time I will not punish him though he must remember to let me know why he is going to be late. 

Remember that this is the kid who ended up sitting in my class before doing nothing because he had picked up another student’s bag and lost his own…. I have since noticed that despite his clownish behaviour he is pretty good at English.

Tonaor randomly messaged me for advice about a logo design for her online store, which is the first I’d heard of it but I’m not too surprised. 

Kids of 13 or 14 are getting smart about making money using the internet these days.  I was happily surprised that she asked me for advice though.

This was not in my class but I took this picture as an example of a typical classroom lesson environment. To be fair, everyone had finished their work but there was no sitting quietly reading a book until the bell goes. These are my old grade 7 and 8 students, now in grade 9. There’s Phoom, Chok, Jackie and… fuck, I’ve forgotten the other boy’s name though I can picture his face quite clearly.

No More However – 4th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s no more debating
The words that you’re stating
Broke down my defence
Pushed me off the fence
There’s no more however
I’ll live this truth forever
No more other hand
A line in the sand
Fighting the good fight
Confirming I am right

Having said that though
No! Tell me it ain’t so!

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and happy though also a little saddened at some circumstances that arose last night when Amy’s brother and girlfriend came to visit.  Things are happening in the family space that are a little upsetting for Amy and she is quite bothered by them.  It feels like another thing to push her away from Thailand unfortunately.

Today I’m grateful for:

Funfai again as this morning she presented me with a big bag of almonds. 

One of her quirks tickles me in that when she doesn’t know the answer to a question she says ‘I don’t know’.  This may not sound odd when written down but it is sometimes quite difficult to get people here to admit that they don’t know something.  Often they will just give some bullshit answer. 

I’m glad Funfair happily admits not knowing things though.  To me, that shows a desire to learn, or an acceptance that it is ok not to know everything.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching this extra (grade 10) class.  I found out in the morning it is a pretty good class including many of my old students so it was good to have some familiar faces there because that made me feel comfortable, which in turn made the other students comfortable too. 

I’d put together a quick reading and writing lesson in the morning and wondered if we would have enough time to do it but they pretty much breezed through it and were happy to be corrected on pronunciation.  It’s a stark contrast to my grade 7 class in the morning which was like herding cats as usual.  I enjoyed both classes in different ways. 

I’m quite happy to have taken on this extra class despite it meaning extra work for me.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I still didn’t get paid yet and had to beg money off Amy to put petrol in the car.  I’m down to 61 baht in the bank and 40 baht in my wallet.  I’m taking this as an opportunity to be frugal and make do with what I already have.  Except coffee.  That is on credit, thankfully, though I hate doing it.

Something I learned today?

In Switzerland, it’s illegal to own just one guinea pig because they’re social beings and get lonely.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

This morning Paen messaged me asking if she could come and join my class with the grade 7s.  The reason being that she is developing a friendship with Praew and wants to see if she will be her girlfriend. 

As I didn’t really have much planned for the class except some Quizizz and as I’d like to help Paen make a new friend or girlfriend I allowed her to come and sit and help a little too. 

Both Praew and Paen were happy to have this chance to be together.  Paen has struggled with friendships with her peers so I’m hopeful that making friends with a younger girl could work out for her.

Are you a doer, a maker or a leader?

Out of these three choices, I reckon I’m a doer.  I’ve always been an advocate for doing something, anything and I still follow that line of thinking.

My doing recently involves the challenge of presenting a poem every day.  I’m not sure how long I have been doing it now, maybe it’s two years already.

Also, trying to go back and add information to this blog about the past is a monumental and endless task which is the kind of stupid thing I like to get into.

Previously, in the absence of anyone else doing it, I started the record label, organised shows and tours and shared the information to help others to do the doing too.

Part of that crosses over to being a maker, as I made part of the Sydney/Australia/Asia music scene and am still involved in that, though not as relentlessly as before.

As a teacher, I hope that I am helping in making responsible adults and this also crosses over to being a leader.

I don’t play well with adults and have no desire to lead them, to lead a work team or the like but seem to have fallen into being a de facto leader for my students.


I took this picture because Nudee and her friends were trying to make TikTok videos after they’d finished my classwork. I was outside the classroom and this picture was actually taken through a highly tinted window (it’s very difficult to see inside with the naked eye) so I was surprised that the picture even came out so well. Ironically, the girls were all too embarrassed to have their picture taken and I grabbed this shot before they put their hands up in front of the camera. Nudee likes to wear colourful contact lenses which make her eyes look amazing. She also has a lip-piercing which is prohibited by the school rules (hence the mask) but I have seen many kids flouting it recently and I like it.

Fighting For Freedom – 1st December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

To have the freedom to question
Are not words that need to pass these lips
All belief is uncertain
And held far away from our fingertips

Freedom is found within the mind
And questions can be asked in silence
Share the meaning that we find
And remove the systems of violence

Submitted to #WDYS

Today I’m feeling:

Better after arriving at school this morning, the kids cheered me a little.

I struggled a little with getting up and exercising but once I got going it was ok. I ate extra yoghurt for breakfast too as I think that now I’m eating better because of Amy’s cooking I’m not actually eating enough. I seem to be losing weight quite easily; it feels a little too easy. I will try to eat a little extra today but must stick with healthy things.

Today I’m grateful for:

The free time I had today and also finishing early to watch some of the students practising for their sports day events (or just sitting around waiting for instructions and complaining a lot!). The kids are sure happier to spend less time in class.

The best thing about today was:

Some of my old grade 9 students saw me working in the small teacher’s room and came to chat. One of them, August (the girl who likes dance), was curious about what I was doing on my computer. 

I was translating one of my lessons about sexual abuse in Thailand into Thai because I will teach it again to my grade 10 class whose English isn’t so good and I want them to understand as much as possible. 

As she was reading the Thai translation I was quite happily surprised when she started reading it out in English, doing the translation in her head. She was then curious about the rest of the lesson and I went through it quickly with her, asking for her opinion on what is appropriate behaviour or not. 

She had finished the work in her own class, where she was supposed to be and so stayed and asked about what other lessons I was teaching, so I showed her one about relationships, which I had also got translations for and she then helped me find better words for students to understand. 

In the end, time was up but she was enjoying helping that she was reluctant to go.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sat and talked with the grade 7 student who reached out to me about mental health. His English is very good, much better than the rest of his class, and as a counterbalance to that, he can’t communicate as well in Thai! This is causing him some problems with making friends in his class.

He is also very thoughtful but sometimes he thinks too much and goes over things again and again. He is, thankfully, quite self-aware.

I gave him some suggestions and feel like he will be able to work things out though I think his abilities will mean that he will always feel a little separate from others.

What am I looking forward to this month?

The thing I look forward to most at the moment is being at school and I think this month will be a lot of fun, with having shorter classes and the kids excited about sport, Christmas and days off.

What is one thing I learned about myself this month?

I learned that I can still keep calm despite the reasonably big stresses of money and visa issues this month. I’ve learned to trust in myself and others and that things will turn out ok. This is a little different to how I might have been five or ten years past.

In Western countries, life can be quite rigid and your posture adapts accordingly. Things need to be known and in order for them to run smoothly.

In Thailand, I’ve learned that things rarely run smoothly but that everyone readily adapts without complaint. I’ve been learning this over the five years I’ve been here so that the problems that have occurred in the last month that might have been stressful before are more manageable now.

I took this picture from a video of the super naughty (and hilarious) KB hamming it up for the camera and her friends after fighting with me about doing work. It’s difficult to get angry with her because she is so funny and she does usually finish things with a push. She is also capable but just immature and lazy right now.

Data Point – 16th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Oh homeless man, the new waiter
The undercover friend, the infiltrator
TV celebrity, the idol musician
The data points inform the position

Oh trendy barista, petulant child
Enraged protestor, a traveller wild
The service staff, the queuers waiting
The data points accumulating

Oh gentle find, words so kind
A bus conductor helping the blind
Kissing the ugliest and prettiest face
The data points fall into place

Oh fighting man, the bruise creator
The best, and worst – lover, hater
The times recalled of instant regret
The data points are all being set

Oh husbands, wives, fathers and mothers
Every conversation where meeting others
Their influence felt without fail
The data points tell their tale

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty rough in the morning but I knew as the day went on I would improve. My cough has gotten worse but the sore throat is almost gone.

After my only class in the morning, which went well enough considering, I’ve been running around getting documents copied, printed and pictures taken.

By the time I got home I was tired but not sleepy and if I had slept it would have been long and deep and then I wouldn’t sleep tonight. But that has left me a little deflated and unenthused.

I played guitar for a little while before stopping feeling a bit frustrated. Some days don’t feel right and I can accept that much better these days.

Today I’m grateful for:

The immigration officer who was sympathetic to my situation though unable to do anything to help. He was kind and friendly.

I’m also grateful to TLC to put together all my paperwork for my visa and dealing with immigration for me this time.

The best thing about today was:

The feeling of things getting done and finished by mid-afternoon, even though it’s not really completed yet. It was just satisfying that after the running around everyone said ‘ok, done’. Now wait for the next bit of running around.

Maybe I still have to do a border run to get another 30 days extension if this visa application through TLC isn’t ready in time but even that could at least be an interesting day out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

A little frustratingly in my class this morning many students were having trouble recording audio on their phones due to permission settings.

I’m getting better at figuring out how to change their phones’ language setting to English so I can then figure out how to fix the app permissions. In the course of doing this on one girls phone though I found she had about 60 porn website pages open.

I wasn’t particularly bothered about the content just that there were so many pages open possibly draining her battery and taking up bandwidth so I started closing them. When she saw that I could see these pages she wanted to grab her phone but I told her not to worry, that it wasn’t important right then and I eventually fixed her settings for her. 

When I got home I sent her a message to clean up her phone just in case another teacher or her family members might see.

I also told her that I understood that all the kids her age are curious about these things but wanted her to understand that pornography doesn’t represent what sex is really like and that it is acting.

I sent her a translated version so she could more easily understand and she soon replied, though just with a simple ‘ok’ so I’m not sure exactly how she might be feeling.

Sometimes when I see my 13-year-old female students I’m reminded about the book I read years ago about a poor Thai girl who sold her virginity at that age to an old white guy. It was sure a depressing story and I can’t imagine the desire that drives people to seek out youngsters in that way. 

Yes, they are cute, curious, sexy and everything else but actually having sex…? It doesn’t make sense to me.

Something I learned today?

I learned that I have to go and interview the primary students in the morning tomorrow instead of the afternoon as originally planned. Who knows, it might still change again in the morning….

What is something positive happening in my life right now?

My attitude. Considering I’m stuffing around with visas yet again, maybe working without pay, dealing with naughty children constantly and many other little niggles that could accumulate to get me down I’m still surprisingly upbeat and positive.

I took this picture because Pat turned up late to my class the other day with her hair like this and I found it quite amazing. I think another couple of girls who were late had helped her. Well done, good job! I still marked them all late in the attendance system though.
Fatman report

I Was A Ghost, But I Was Real – 7th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 15 Comments

When I was a ghost, my eyes were never met
Unknown, unspoken, unseen, unheard
There I stood, three monkies wiser
Until hearing the whisper of the magic word

A name on a page, a name in lights
Is that me, is this real?
Does a grain of sand on life’s beach
Really understand what the ocean might feel?

You can see me and I can feel you
Alone but never lonely, loneliness lost
Spaces filled with words and chatter
To balance it all comes at a cost

Tides are changing, shores are filling
Days and nights are both illuminating
The stories brought here remind me
Of the sandcastles we’re all creating

Inspired, borrowed, and butchered from this post at Spinning Visions (yet again!)

13th Jun 2024 – Shared with dVerse – liminal
31st Oct 2024 – Shared with What’s Going On – ghosts

Today I’m feeling:

Better than yesterday though still not quite awake, I feel. I had fun with all the kids at the flag ceremony this morning but need this first coffee for my first class.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the people who handled the parcel of records that got delivered safe and sound to me today from Turkey. 

The best thing about today was:

Spending time and effort with one one-on-one reading with my grade 8 students. Both yesterday and today’s classes are a challenge and I think it is beneficial to spend even just five minutes one one-on-one as often as possible. I can only do this with about 6 or 7 students per one two-hour class though.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My final class of grade 7s was disrupted somewhat as one student told me that a few of them were supposed to go for football practice. I told them that they could go when they finished their work but unfortunately they struggled with the work and then as it rolled past the time they asked to leave they struggled with their attitude. Many students ended up 20 minutes late for their vans as I wouldn’t let them go unless they at least attempted the work.

The kids don’t know how to help themselves and the other classmates that understand are reluctant to help now as their kindness has worn thin. The students that slacked last semester will struggle this semester as I ask them to think more about their own ideas, beliefs and feelings. Things that they can’t ask the answers from other students.

I managed to remain mostly patient throughout all this. Mostly.

Something I learned today?

I just realised that the candy I’m eating right now have little tidbits of information on them and so I just learned that crocodiles can’t stick their tongues out. Fairly useless information for 99.5% of people on Earth but there we are. I learned that today.

If I could change one thing about my life, what would it be?

I can imagine that this would be something ridiculous like not having to sleep or being able to party without hangovers! Or not die until I’m ready!

Or that I still had youthful boundless energy.

If I could change one thing about my life I would have done it already.

Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

It seems that I am always the one closest to the door so that if anyone ever breaks in to try and kill us they will go for me first. I don’t know if this is a subliminal thing on Amy’s behalf or why that makes her comfortable but it doesn’t bother me. I can sleep on any side of any bed so long as it is comfortable.

Right now we each sleep in the middle of our own King-sized beds which is both ridiculous and amazing.

I took this picture because this old boy was waiting for me to finish exercising so he could eat. Tigger wasn’t far away either. I didn’t feed them as Amy wants to do it ‘her way’ which I know is just to get their affections! I noticed that by this evening both cats are no longer looking at me with expectation but at Amy instead!

Getting Out – 6th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The world is trapped behind glass
A zoo of drunken circus chimps
We look up to others to ask
Just what is this wonder we may only glimpse?

Maybe this spectacle isn’t real?
How can something be so shiny and pretty?
When the glass shatters we feel
That the chimps are less deserving of pity

Running amok, all over our dreams
The promises now grown more distant
Nothing now is what it seems
And that nagging becomes more insistent

Inspired by the second part of this post at Spinning Visions
11th Oct 2024 – Shared with the Ragtag Daily Prompt – zoo

Today I’m feeling:

Still dizzy. Even dizzy during my poor sleep last night as my body aches made me uncomfortable. Wondering how serious this might be. But I still pushed through morning exercise hoping that that may get me going. Not quite. Will see how I fair today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Funfai bringing me a food gift. Unfortunately it was pork so I had to return it though I made sure she knew I was grateful. 

The best thing about today was:

Finally feeling better by the afternoon after sinking a cup of water with electrolytes. I’m not 100% yet but at least I don’t feel as if I might fall over now.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My first class this morning was a bit of a test for me and I almost lost it but I think the kids sensed it and were unusually quiet for a little while which softened me a little. I also recalled a daily reminder I have set – “Be grateful for what you have, for it is a gift that can be taken away at any moment.”

Something I learned today?

Some musicians I have worked with in Germany before are rushing to release a compilation to benefit women struggling through the war in Gaza. There are only four days to submit and I don’t think anyone I know would be able to commit to that. But in an effort to be useful, I passed the message on to the current folks I’ve been working with on the Jorando Del Muerto release.

Who is the wisest person I know?

I keep seeing this prompt and thinking it says who is the worst person you know!

The wisest….?

Even people I admire I don’t consider all-wise, all-knowing. Everyone has their foibles. And everyone has some wisdom. Take the best from people so that you can learn. Try everything until you figure it out for yourself.

How am I different than I was a year ago?

Change seems slow until you look back from further in the future. I don’t feel as if I’ve changed much at all in the last twelve months. I can see very minor improvements when I look back at diary entries and think to myself ‘Oh yeah, I remember doing that’ and then making decisions about where to go from there.

Answering this question for five or ten years ago would be much easier to analyse.

How am I stepping outside my comfort zone?

I’m not doing this too much these days but I can think that forcing myself to exercise is outside my comfort zone even though I’ve been doing it regularly for a couple of years now. I’ve been taking cold showers since about March and still going at the moment, testing myself to see how far I can make it into winter. I will go and play tennis with Funfai once a week, just for thirty minutes, despite my aching old bones. I’m still not often comfortable in the classroom either. I’m still learning everything.