Cinquain is a short, usually unrhymed poem with twenty-two syllables distributed in five lines: 2, 4, 6, 8, 2. Line 1 has one word (the title). Line 2 has two words that describe the title. Line 3 has three words that tell the action. Line 4 has four words that express the feeling Line 5 has one word which recalls the title.
Today I’m feeling:
Not so terrible but I can’t speak clearly because of whatever is going on in my throat.
I felt ok to get up but once I got to school I felt tired again.
Today I’m grateful for:
My grade 10s contacting me whilst I was at the cafe, asking if I could teach them immediately, as they had no other classes today and didn’t want to wait until 2.30. It seemed like a good idea because it meant that I could finish at 12.30 and go home too.
This turned out to be a double-edged sword. The grade 10 was simple enough and the grade 8s immediately afterwards went well enough too and I headed home. However, I was low on energy and motivation and had an hour snooze and after getting up again from that, just felt like wanting to sleep more.
This meant that I didn’t do any reading or writing today and I’m back in bed again now at 7.30 pm
The best thing about today was:
I put my grade 8s into random pairs to practice conversation. Most of them complained and asked to swap partners, to which i just ignored them and asked them to get on with it.
This showed me who was prepared to just get on with it and do what was asked rather than avoiding it until the very end. None of them got away.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Despite my fairly low feeling today I didn’t let anything in particular bother me.
Something I learned today?
I came across this quote that I like: “People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.” – Soren Kierkegaard
Who are we gonna stick it to When we can’t stick it to the man? We’d rather choose not to be happy Because we know that’s what we can
When the world is contented Where can we direct our rage? There’s got to be something to fight Some violence in which to engage
We’re not searching for paradise Because anger is all we’ve known We’re the contrarian outlaws Of the world in which we’ve grown
Today I’m feeling:
A little better than yesterday. My sore throat has abated somewhat though I feel a little blocked in the nose. I struggled through the third abs exercise for the week but can feel it having some positive effect on posture and general health.
Today I’m grateful for:
No longer being in the UK. I watched a video today of someone interviewing people around Glastonbury and despite some ‘characters’ there they mostly seemed paranoid or depressed. And this was whilst they were commenting how much better than the rest of the country Glastonbury was.
The best thing about today was:
Updating some 1994 entries with STE Bulletin writing which brought back some interesting memories or more preciously, reminded me of things which I had since forgotten.
I was glad of the phone functionality to be able to scan and convert text through the camera as it saved me a ton of time though still filled up most of my four-hour break.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Two of my annoying students pushed me too far this morning though I didn’t get particularly angry with them. I did carry through my threat to take points off them in the SchoolBright system though. One of them was particularly upset when they found out I wasn’t joking but I have had enough of their continual disrespect and disruptions in the class.
Something I learned today?
I came across an advert for a Netflix series of the Three Body Problem. I can imagine that it may be a travesty compared to the books and the trailer looked interesting but not quite right. Checking a little more though I found that there had been a Chinese TV series made that actually followed the books well. Chinese TV series can also seem a little ’not quite right’ too though.
I then found that the first two episodes are free to watch online so I’ll check those out and see if it’s worth searching for the rest.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I tipped the pineapple seller 10 baht which shocked her. She was very grateful and gave me a big smile.
I comforted Nicha who was crying this morning though she wouldn’t say why. Thankfully, she was happy and dancing by the end of the day.
I took this picture because when I showed Jet the picture that Ploy drew of me she instantly said ‘That’s not you. Wait, I’ll draw you.’ A couple of minutes later she presented me with this!
Remember when then was now? You couldn’t wait to get to here And now you’re here, your desire is for then again As the past became more clear
Today I’m feeling:
Less achy than yesterday but also slightly more tired. I did do 100 jumping jacks to try and undo an aching lower back. It kinda worked but need to stretch it some more. Yesterday I didn’t read the book I planned, opting for comics instead. I also didn’t play guitar. Lazy. Today I had planned to go and visit Matt but don’t think I’ll make it. Lazy. My motivational drive is all over the place.
By the time the long lazy day had passed (still too quickly), I got a sudden burst of lesson planning on and now my mind is whirling with ideas for classes when I should be winding down and preparing to sleep.
Today I’m grateful for:
The bananas that Amy’s mum gave me last week. I’ll finish off the last two tomorrow.
The best thing about today was:
Just going at my own pace and waiting for drives to come. It still didn’t come for playing guitar today unfortunately and I think it is because my lower back is sore and sitting and playing guitar compounds it. I’ve also felt a little disillusioned with listening to music but that’s mainly because I want to read and find that difficult when there is music on. Lesson planning I can do at the same time though and when the music started I loved it and wondered why I was holding off. I need to listen to more music more intentionally again.
Something I learned today?
I was looking for something that I watched today to jog my memory about something I learned today. I went back to a classroom management video and from there ended up in the YouTube rabbit hole. I learned about one strategy that may be worth a try with my grade 7 students next semester, though would have been better at the beginning of the year. I had a plan before the start of the year but then forgot all about implementing it!
Quote: Learn to be indifferent to what makes no difference – Marcus Aurelius.
This quote can also tie in with the legacy question today. No matter what you might wish for with what you try to influence, it is out of your control. Trying to keep others in your control is to punish them with your ego.
I am constantly learning about the things in my control and becoming indifferent to what is outside. It is a practice that will never be perfected but must be continued.
This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to make a difference in the world ourselves but it is up to other people whether they get anything out of it.
What is my legacy?
I think I’m not that egotistical to expect to have any real legacy. I know that I have had some influence over various people’s lives and hopefully inspired others from time to time. Sometimes that was my purpose but mostly I was doing things just for my own pleasure.
After a generation or two, I don’t expect anyone to repeat my name but I’m still satisfied with everything I do and have done.
I took this picture because it sums up the day. Soon after this, a dark storm stuck around for the whole afternoon bringing the night sooner than expected.
Give me a bad day To show you who I am Disturb my applecart And mess with my plan
Look at you, all smiles The sun, it always shines The measure of the man Is found in difficult times
An easy day for me Fills me with compassion For those facing struggle And life comes down a-crashing
So give me a bad day I’m gonna turn it around Enduring all the pain With this attitude I’ve found
Today I’m feeling:
Good for pushing through exercise this morning setting me up for my long day ahead. I’m starting to run out of time each day doing all the things I want to do and I think something is going to have to go and that will be TV and YouTube videos. I’m already cutting down just because of lack of time. Focus on the things I really prefer and enjoy to be doing. Stop wasting time.
Today I’m grateful for:
The language learning app Drops which I use to study Thai but which I have also asked a couple of my poorer students, Namsai and Nomsen, to use to study English and they checked it out this afternoon and seemed find it a little more compelling than Duolingo. I will introduce more of my classes to Drops instead and in the future. I think it is a slightly better learning tool despite not offering any opportunities to speak.
The best thing about today was:
Kinda improvising a lesson with one of my classes today and having it go really well.
The original lesson I had planned wasn’t going to be long enough so I picked up a worksheet about ordinal numbers (they always struggle when asked what the date is) that could fill up the time. I started with it as I was expecting it to only take a few minutes.
As they were getting themselves used to ordinal numbers I figured a best way to remember them was by doing birthdays so I went around the class asking everyone and writing them on the board. I noticed some smart students grabbing pictures so they could remember their classmate’s birthdays.
Once we had all the birthdays I got everyone and asked them to form a line from the first birthday of the year to the last and then spent 10 minutes sorting themselves out and finally I took a photo of them all.
By now time was too short to finish my planned lesson too. So I got them all to write the list of names in the order that had just just stood. This took them a good thirty minutes and I could see everyone puzzling out which name came next until finally they were done. To end, a long Kahoot to reinforce their learning. Everyone was happy and maybe they even learned something.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I decided I needed to catch up a handful of students in one class and the best way to do was to clear out the rest of the students so these ones could concentrate better.
The class went well with the nine students, without all the usual distractions. They were initially a little miffed at their classmates going off for free time but soon understood the faster they got to it the sooner they’d be able to leave.
With some slow careful explanations, I could see some twinkling of understanding in most of them. They finished with 30 minutes spare and off they went and off I went to House for extra coffee.
Whilst I was there I got a message from our department head asking why my students were in the library at the time I was supposed to be teaching them. I got a little annoyed at this at first but I knew that it needed an explanation so I replied doing so. I didn’t get any reply.
Something I learned today?
Scientists have synthesised sugar out of carbon dioxide. Neat!
I took this picture because I wanted a record of the kids doing today’s lesson and lining up in birthday order. There are a few hilarious kids in this class and I hope this picture will be a useful reminder.
A familiar pain satisfies Almost spurning contempt Each feeling classifies Contradicting its attempt Mouth breathing still Forms subconscious thrill
Inspired by a sentence or two at Spinning Visions. Sometimes, the familiarity of something is comfortable even though it is something we dislike. We, as humans, really don’t enjoy change.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good. My body is a little achy from exercise but I can feel my bones getting more support from my muscles. My head is feeling positive and I’m happy to be where I am in the world.
Today I’m grateful for:
The guy who makes the Post-Avant Jazzcore Happy Hour podcast that has given me many hours of interesting listening either at home or in the car.
I mention it today because I was listening today and the music was a little minor-chordy, moody and dark and ultimately I didn’t find it quite as exciting as other times though I could feel the musicians were pretty damn awesome.
The only downside to the podcast is that I have to change the playback speed to normal as I’m usually listening to talking podcasts at one and a half speed.
The best thing about today was:
The chaos of my last class of the day! It is one of the classes that I moved to work in the canteen because I was embarrassed by them in our language building as they were extremely difficult to control.
Moving them and giving them standard tasks that they repeat each time but with a different text has allowed them to get an understanding of what is required and they can plan ahead so that they don’t have to sit around until the end of the class.
One of the advantages of being in the canteen is that the kids can spread out and go off as they please when I’m happy that they completed the work.
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve noticed that some of the poorer students have improved their skills a lot, perhaps with maturity as well as learning.
What I like the best is that they no longer fear work when they see it. Gradually over time, they’ve realised that they have to try and that is all that I’ve been asking of them. I guess you could say they’ve made me proud!
They are still a chaotic bunch as any group of 36 13-14-year-olds are prone to be but they are generally fun to be around.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
One of my classes, one of the better ones, was a bit of a handful today and tested my patience. Thankfully it was only a one-hour lesson and a fair percentage of the students understood what was required. Some days you just don’t know what you are going to get but I’ve gotten better at rolling with the punches.
Something I learned today?
Some American politicians are considering leaving the United Nations. To be honest they should as they never follow or implement the consensus opinion unless it suits them. That is not what a UN should be about. BRICS is becoming a superior allegiance of countries that does follow international law and UN resolutions and they have put forward a 10-point charter that states so. Outside of the brainwashed Western kaleidoscope of nightmares, it seems obvious where the better path forward lies.
I took this picture because Kim’s grave is finally looking the way I want. I’ll be happy if it continues like this without any grass growing through. I miss that little kitty too much.
Staring away at the whispered words The smile no longer inspires Ghostly here amongst the sleeping Letting go of what love requires
The end of the story, said goodbye Seven minutes to break a heart The one that promised themselves so much Must find the joy of a new start
Today I’m feeling:
I slept in the air-conned bedroom with Amy last night but still didn’t sleep that well, waking up with aching hips or feeling too cold! Anyway, it was better than feeling hot and Tigger had also sprayed in our bedroom and it was still smelly in there.
My first class went well and has put me in a good mood as I sit here drinking coffee preparing for my next class in four hours and by preparing I mean doing something else besides thinking about teaching!
Today I’m grateful for:
My new pants that I bought yesterday and felt good wearing today. I tried the other pair I bought but even though they are the same maker and have the same label for waist size are about two sizes too small for me. No refunds. It’s a shame but I should’ve tried them on rather than trusting that they would be the same. My mistake.
The best thing about today was:
Firstly, having my last class, the troublesome rebellious lot, going well again and being a lot of fun this time, I’m glad that I made the change of style of teaching with them and whilst I don’t feel like I’m teaching them much at least they are practising their reading, writing and speaking skills to some degree.
Then, after school, Nong Na and Amy were waiting for me and we went off to Big C to get pizza and ice cream. It was good to see Na again, she has just started at the university in the Aviation faculty and I can already hear her improved confidence in listening and speaking since I last met her when she was in high school.
She is a quiet girl, never travelled far but is a good student and somehow Amy lit a fire under her and she has shown a determination to improve her English by herself. We are quite proud that she has come so far. She had never been to the Pizza Company store or to the ice cream shop so it was quite a thrill for her and it was our treat.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It’s ten pm and I’m in bed, ran out of time to play guitar today which I kinda look forward to even though some days I sit down to play and get frustrated after five minutes of trying. Tomorrow evening I should have enough free time though as Amy will go out so I await that with anticipation. Thursday will not be free but Friday is the start of six days off so I’ll get some practice time in then.
Something I learned today?
I’m in the middle of a questionnaire to discover my style of kindness at work but my eyes are drooping and Amy is already asleep on my shoulder so I will have to learn that tomorrow. I learned other things today for sure but what were they….?
How do I cope with stress and adversity?
By not inviting it into my head so often. When it does it always upsets me that I let it get the better of me.
I took this picture a couple of weeks ago because these two-tone clouds looked amazing on the horizon. Unfortunately, it didn’t translate as well into a picture on my phone but as I didn’t find the time or opportunity to take a picture today then this will have to do. Tomorrow – must try harder!
Our society is wealthy enough to meet our needs Yet organised such that violence is needed to survive Fight not crime but instead, fight those who create it A real civil society dictates what it means to be alive
Slept badly and though I know I’m tired I also know today is an easy day, at least beyond the fact that we are running around doing my visa which is a stress all by itself.
I forced myself to exercise a little this morning even though my routine is disrupted by Amy being here and us running around doing things.
Sometimes I can see how old people get grumpy when routines are broken. I don’t want to get set in my ways but I do want to get back into an exercise routine again.
Today I’m grateful for:
The visa officer who was kind and helpful and despite us having a small issue with a bank statement he allowed my visa to be processed and I have to go back in September hopefully to receive another year’s grace.
The process is always stressful and has Amy wound up and I try my hardest to not bite and stay calm. Having not slept well I managed until around 11 am and was starting to flag. Whether Amy sensed that or not I’m not sure but I perked up when she decided, out of the blue, to buy me some nice shirts. Later in the day I also found some nice cheap work pants too.
The best thing about today was:
Having the free time to deal with all the visa bullshit without too much hassle and still get back to hanging out with the kids at lunchtime and for my single class. Then back to shopping at the mall.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I lost my temper a little at the end of my class today as we were running out of time and a few girls were playing TikTok dancing on their phones. It passed quickly when I took the phone away and told them that they could get it back from their homeroom teacher at the end of the day. When the class finished one of the girls stayed behind and was suitably contrite, asking for the phone back. I was okay to do that this time with a reminder that next time it will definitely happen.
Something I learned today?
I found out that the visa officers at immigration get their lunchtime coffees at House. They came in as I was leaving today.
What are some activities or hobbies that bring me joy?
Joy? Sometimes when I’m riding my motorbike I get a feeling approaching joy. The smells, the air (when it’s clean), the cool of the shade, the freedom to discover.
In the classroom, there are occasions when joy erupts, which is less easy when you’re on the teaching side of the equation.
Otherwise, there are times of happiness, satisfaction and fun but joy is not an emotion I particularly need to chase after. Small brief moments are preferable.
Takky took this picture because, for my visa application, we have to take photos in our bedroom, outside our front gate and, for this year, we turned the teaching room into our living room as Amy entertained there last night.
Feel the ghosts and hear the stories Factories become a millionaire’s abode A generation of magnificent glories Along pitiful streets where immigrants strode
Indifference poisons with its toxic fumes Yet the awe of history inspires For all the city night consumes Comes the morning a coffee and bagel requires
The rattle and hum of the train tracks Hints at the golden age of old Before beastie boys were graffiti rats Running away from the winter’s cold
Before the mob, before the game Hotel rooms rented for a buck Wishing the old times back again Now the towers ran out of luck
The lady lights us on the way Whether it’s another coming or going Now just a symbol of a better day One that was worth knowing
I had to sleep early last night to catch up a little. This morning I did my warmup but no exercise. Because Amy was coming with me I knew I would need to leave a little earlier to get her to her mum’s before I go to school. Amy was not in a good mood but warmed up after a while and I was feeling pretty armed and ready for the day. It’s stinky hot already.
Today I’m grateful for:
A change of routine for me. Going out with Amy and her family for lunch. It was a little different to the normal Thai food we might get and certainly different to what I usually just get for myself. Despite not being terribly spicy it had my tummy doing somersaults in the afternoon.
The best thing about today was:
My last class of the day, which caused me so much grief last week must have been feeling a little contrite as they all came and started doing work for me. I changed things up and put the class in the canteen where it doesn’t matter how much noise they make and I didn’t really teach as such but set them some writing, reading and dictionary look-up tasks. When it came to reading though I did have to coach some of them and it was good to feel that at least a couple of these kids were learning something, in particular Gam, who really showed her appreciation for the help I gave her. I think I will keep this format of lessons for this class for a little while. They will learn that the quicker they get down to work and finish then the quicker they can leave without causing any disruption to others or frustration to me.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy surprised me with a gift and as I unwrapped and unboxed it I had no idea what to expect. She had found someone in Bangkok that makes 3D portraits of cats and inside the box was a portrait of our lovely little Kim Chi. I appreciated the thought but at the moment I’m not ready for this. Amy burst into tears as soon as she saw it too and I wasn’t far behind. Like old photos of Steve being the lasting memories of him, I don’t want this portrait to replace my memories of Kim. Whilst the likeness is good, it’s not her.
I know in time it will be ok. I can imagine this portrait being on display in the house somewhere and it will serve its purpose as a reminder. I asked Amy if we could keep it away until the anniversary of her passing and perhaps it will feel more comfortable then.
Slightly shell-shocked I walked outside to close the gate and then spent some time pulling up grass and weeds from around Kim’s memorial plant which is growing where she is buried.
I love/d that cat so much.
Something I learned today?
Amy and I went to the drive-thru vehicle tax stop and got new tax discs for our bike and car. For the car though I had to pay for whatever speeding and red light infringements I’d incurred during the year, of which I know there were at least two because I just threw them away when I eventually found them in the letterbox which I only check every six or eight months. At 1500 baht it wasn’t too bad really. Less than the cost of some parking tickets in Australia.
Slightly amusing was having to go round again to get the second disc, we couldn’t just do them both at the same time.
Amy thinks this is because sometimes just one person from a village will rock up with everyone’s paperwork from the village to get done at once. I kinda like this stupid flexibility where what seems like a strict rule should be enforced, i.e. making the owner of the vehicle pick up and pay in person, can be replaced by a simple rule of only processing one payment per vehicle at a time, allowing for a comedic drive around a 100m square to queue again. The motorbike tax cost 101 baht. About 4 Aussie dollars!
What are some of my favourite things about this time of year?
Usually, it would be the cooler air but that is not happening this year due to the El Nino effect. It’s 30 degrees in the bedroom and the two fans are just stirring around treacle air.
The cycle of the seasons still confuses me a little here. This time of year doesn’t hold the same kind of meaning as it did in the UK or Australia. I don’t have any romantic connections with any of the seasons here. Last year’s bike rides around September and October are perhaps the first deep connections I have made in connection with the seasons here. It was the end of a longer rainy season and the temperatures had become more reasonable, all the dust had gone and the mud was hardening on the dirt roads again, before they were turned back to dust.
But July? It’s rainy season. I don’t go out much. Summer – it’s too hot to go out much. Winter? Winter is nice.
What is in my control today?
Me. I think I managed to keep myself in control quite well today. From a grumpy Amy in the morning to classrooms full of excitable kids caring less about learning, to running around shopping, eating with family and running out of time and energy at home, I was able to stay calm and collected (at least until I saw the portrait of Kim – but I know that wound will heal in time.)
I took this picture at lunch because I wanted to try the dessert which was a green mango ice cream with deep-fried crispy shallots, fine chilli and tamarind. That’s a pretty wild mix and something I would never have thought I would experience when I was eating 99s as a kid.
No bombs dropped No drones deployed Bloodletting stopped Society destroyed A silent terror Stalks night and day Without error Slowly eating away Bloodless coups To change regimes No power to choose Economic dreams For years to suffer To wither and die Each breath tougher A silent cry A subjugated state Media silence Returns tenfold hate Brewing violence Order dies alone Then the lies reveal The war comes home Melting beams of steel All the machinations The manipulators Warred with nations Hate generators
Today I’m feeling:
The morning went fine as I had no class and the kids in the playground were all chatty and playful so I felt pretty good hanging out at House drinking coffee. I went back early to get some paper ready for my first class to make origami hearts and that went well and everyone had a good time. For my last class, I prepared a nice little Quizizz lesson about Japan in preparation for Friday’s Japan theme. Sadly things didn’t go well. Twenty minutes into the class and about 12 students hadn’t arrived so I marked them absent. I sent a message to their homeroom teacher who said that six students were helping her. Well, thanks for letting me know. When other students finally arrived I told them that they were marked absent and could leave if they wanted. Some did. Fuck them.
From here the students that were there were already rowdy and got more so as the lesson went on. They were mostly spread out all over the floor, rolling around and playing. I kept my cool as long as I could and we got to the final question of the quiz where the students had to write two things that they learned. When they just started writing nonsense I blew it. They had already been crying to leave early so I made them wait until the actual end time and told them they would have to do the whole quiz again within the next 24 hours and answer the question properly.
I left school bewildered and pissed off. Even the younger kids are more together than this class. And why do I let it bother me? Like I said above ‘fuck them’ but really I can’t help myself. I want to try to make it better. So I have to find a different way. I’ll think about it more this week.
Today I’m grateful for:
The one or two students in that class who were paying attention and trying their best. I’m glad to see that some of them have some awareness about what is going on around them though they feel just as helpless as me.
The best thing about today was:
My first class making origami hearts was a lot of fun. I told them that they could write inside who they wanted to give their heart to and that caused a lot of frivolity. As they finished making them I handed back ever smaller pieces of paper to see how small they could go. They all accepted the challenge eagerly.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
While I was drinking my morning coffees Amy messaged me that her cousin (?) Boom had died. He had gotten sick after exposing himself somehow to some strong insecticide which started eating away at his legs. He was given medicine to help but apparently decided taking multiple doses would cure him quicker but sadly it fucked up his internal organs until they gave out. I’m not sure this is the full story but the sad thing is that it is possible he could have survived if he had money to pay for ICU for longer. Unfortunately, he had a bad habit of being spoiled by his family and had frittered away everything that they ever had. I don’t think people deserve this fate but some people certainly don’t do anything to help themselves.
In the back of my mind this afternoon, whilst struggling with my class, was having to go to the temple, possibly this evening but thankfully I don’t. I’m still feeling tense and annoyed. It looks like I will be able to go on Friday late morning as it is nearby. That’s better than having to go after the work day.
Something I learned today?
I read and learned a lot this morning but now my mind is full of saltiness. I look forward to waking up more positive tomorrow.
What does it mean to be wise?
This morning I heard a great line from Gino Jevdevic from Kultur Shock. It went along the lines of, to be old and wise you must be first young and stupid. I guess that’s no guarantee but perhaps feels like a requirement. So people seem to be wise already in their youth. Something innate for a special few though no doubt they themselves may not see it that way.
To be wise? To understand oneself, to understand the world as best as you can and for that understanding to bring contentment.
When was the last time I showed perseverance?
I think I show this quite often. For example, I will persevere with this annoying class of mine even when my thoughts are of just giving up on them. I will try to find a way to make it work for them and for me.
I’m persevering with guitar playing despite very slow progress, same with learning Thai. I have kept going with tenzenmen for 20 years already through various ups and downs.
I’ve persevered with writing here on this app too, almost a year now, so this sentence is an example of the last time I showed perseverance,
I took this picture because the sun was playing crazy with the tops of the clouds and this storm that threatened blew away somewhere else.
In my orbit, looking down Twenty-six thousand kilometres per hour Is the earth spinning? Am I moving? It’s safe up here In the most dangerous place Nearly on earth Nearby goes Elon’s debris Who was he when he was alive? I have so many questions Like why won’t they let me return? Unable to experience the thrill of danger With feet back on the ground I remember the old pictures From encyclopedias tattered and worn The lights of humanity Turning on in darkness…
Today I’m feeling:
A little tired, it took a bit of effort to not snooze my alarm but I got going and did some chest exercises again along with a distracted meditation. A cold shower and breakfast and I got going, feeling good and upbeat.
Today I’m grateful for:
Paul (Fatty) for contacting me to advise he’ll put out a vinyl album of Atrox, the band I was thrilled to join back in 1984 or 1985. I didn’t do any studio recording with them but there are a couple of live tapes with me and maybe he will use some of those. I’m cool with the idea though joked about having two hundred copies left over under his bed. We also admitted that neither of us even owns record players anymore!
The best thing about today was:
At lunchtime, I came back to school a little early from House where I’d enjoyed coffees after my morning class. I went over to the new building where the little store is to buy some rice crackers and my new grade 10 students shouted to me from the third floor. With an hour to spare, I went up to meet them and they were in good spirits as their teacher hadn’t shown up for their class. They had lots of fun interrogating me about tattoos and piercings and they seemed happy and comfortable to be able to talk with me.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got frustrated at my last class of students as they were all spread out around the room shouting ‘teacher, teacher ‘ whilst I was trying to sort things out. I banged the table really hard and shouted at them to be quiet and if they had a problem they need to come and ask me not just shout from where they are. I asked them if they treated their parents like this at home shouting for help from their bedroom. They were stunned into silence. Though I was loud and a little angry at the behaviour, I wasn’t upset and smiled at them for being quiet. The rest of the class went ok after that and I think they get it now, more than last year. They have a little better understanding of the limits with me and more self-control. Whilst this was going on Noah and little Nicha were nagging me to go to the bathroom but I had asked them to wait whilst I checked their phones were set up correctly. I’d just sent them off when I had my meltdown. I came over to help Nicha after they got back and she looked very upset and Noah said she wasn’t feeling well. They were still around at the end of class and Nicha was adjusting her skirt with Noah’s help. Nicha picked up another skirt and said ‘teacher, look’ and there was blood on it. She had borrowed another skirt from a classmate. I told her not to worry, that it happens sometimes and it’s just a normal thing and Noah said the same to try and comfort her. As with many situations with kids she soon appeared to get over it and was laughing and playing about twenty minutes later in the playground. After all this excitement though I realised that I had hurt my vocal cords shouting so loudly and I’m pretty sure my throat will be sore in the morning and I just hope it doesn’t lead to a cold or flu.
Something I learned today?
When I got home and sat down to eat, a video recommendation on youtube came up about classroom management that was totally appropriate to my day. I’m not sure I need to implement the good ideas from it just yet but it also made me realise that I do have a great rapport with about 90% of the students in each of my classes and we can and will work out the classroom together.
What am I looking forward to this month?
I look forward to every day. I look forward to nothing in particular. When I look back I can see forward.
Amy’s friend took this picture as part of a video because she was impressed that Amy could sing Aussie karaoke in the pub so well. In the picture is another Amy that my little Amy met and they decided to do this duet which I think was a Fleetwood Mac song.
1994ever 