Tag: cleaning

Bare Hearts – 7th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Running barefoot along the beaches
A meditation and reflection unspoken
The past master no longer teaches
To prepare for the bare hearts broken

Knowing everything and nothing too
Knowing that something must be learned
As bare feet and bare hearts must do
The future must be earned

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions
21st Jun 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Tired, relaxed and lazy again.  Today is a repeat episode of yesterday pretty much.  Not excited, not unhappy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The cake that Amy came back with at lunchtime, presumably from Nong Oh who she was out with.  A light chiffon with cashews in a thick caramel topping.  It was nice in that it didn’t taste as sweet as it looked.

The best thing about today was:

Cleaning up the last pile of junk on the floor of my room.  There is stuff there that is inspiring me to think of new lesson plans so I hung on to quite a bit of it.  The floor is clear but I still need to go through the stuff on the shelves and that will mean more inspiration and ideas and then a concern about lack of time to execute all those ideas.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In the scheme of things, I did very little today.  If there was anything out of my control then it had no lasting resonance with my memory.

Something I learned today?

From watching the interview with Nathan Rich I discovered that you can inject whisky into your veins and get drunk from it.  I mean, it makes sense but it seems like a stupid thing to do when you can just drink the stuff! 

That guy has certainly had an interesting life and we share a weird connection in that we both got into computing as a way to raise ourselves up in the world (and both into punk and then with interests in China).

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Today was all about Amy and being sympathetic to her situation with the unfolding drama therein.

Was the killing of hundreds of hairy worms on the avocado tree a good or vile act?

Tell about something you love doing that you’re terrible at. And tell about something you really do not like doing that you’re great at.

For the former, I guess it would be playing guitar, though I don’t really think that I am terrible.  I’m just not good.

For the latter maybe Maths, though again, I wouldn’t say that I was great at it either.  In fact, if I think about it I actually like learning about Maths but have an aversion to it because of a long-held hatred of my high school Maths teacher.

Even then, I’m over it (I should be because it was 40 years ago!) so I need to think of something else here.

It’s tough. I don’t consider myself particularly great at anything and at my age now I’m not really doing anything that I don’t like doing anymore.

I took this picture because this pup is cute and loves me.

The Alien – 19th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Came along in a shiny craft
Took one look and loudly laughed
Said ‘These things are sadly daft!’

Abilities deeply bereft
Nothing even worthy of theft
Closed the hatch and quickly left

Left no trace of any sort
Radioed home and did report
The value of this place is naught

Today I’m feeling:

A little worse again as all the phlegm gathered in my chest has decided it wished to evacuate, during the night. In an effort to stop constantly coughing, I shoved an extra pillow under my head and tried to raise my top end up so that the green slime stayed down in my chest until the morning. This tactic only had minimal effect though and it seems I have a constant supply of rising mucus now as I sit coughing into my coffee.

Today I’m grateful for:

Bruno’s high-pressure hose again, as I got back after coffee and with a burst of energy cleaned up the paths and area outside the kitchen and they are now gleaming white. They should stay like that for a year or so.

The best thing about today was:

The mango sticky-rice flavoured ice cream that didn’t really taste like mango sticky-rice but was delicious in its own way. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When using the high-pressure hose at the back door I knew the muddy water was going to spray under the door and into the kitchen a little (because nothing fits properly in Thailand!) and sure enough, it did.

After I finished Amy asked me why I didn’t close the door when I was hosing. I did!

I was hoping she would clean up but she asked me to and in the end, it was pretty quick and easy. No big deal.

Something I learned today?

I watched an interesting video of an American guy who was in Laos and trying to visit the casino area in the Golden Triangle. Casinos are already sketchy places in my eyes and I was totally put off them after visiting Macau.

This guy found a few sketchy things too but where there’s money, there are workers (willing or not) and as this area of the world is so poor people are easily lured there.

Commenters were worried about his safety and it made me consider some of the sketchy situations I found myself in some places before too. I think I just figure most people have good intentions and those that don’t don’t generally fuck with you if you don’t fuck with them.

What are three words to describe how I feel right now?

Satisfied, content and (is there a single word that describes a sore neck?)

I took this picture because I dropped off some lanterns at Daytripper and the reflections on the waterlogged paddy fields were enticing. I enjoyed a nice early afternoon coffee there too.

Wonderland – 25th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Pinned to the floor, mouth full of dirt
Listening carefully for the next scream or roar
Unable to feel hurt, waiting for a hand
To pull back up to the new wonderland

No feeling in the toes, eyes red and wet
Blood pulses slowly down the nose
It’s not over yet, a forever-shifting sand
Every day a vision of this wonderland

Darkness surrounds, night is as day
Sharing space in these sacred grounds
Desperate again to play, desperate again to stand
Amongst the ruins of this wonderland

In and out of sleep, time for final dreams
All the promises no one was able to keep
Who knows what it means when it was all planned
And the devils came to play in this wonderland

24th Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy but alive. As my body slowly revives from another rude awakening I’m sitting outside watching birds searching through the long grass for snacks or useful detritus for nest building, which I’m grateful to see they are taking full advantage of all our trees and safe nooks.

Today I’m grateful for:

Aing, Now and their two friends who helped look after our house and cats and best of all were very quiet and gentle so that us and our cats weren’t disturbed.

The best thing about today was:

Sushi buffet for dinner that I had saved up my hunger for, only eating a couple of pieces of bread around lunch time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Having our house back to ourselves has set Amy off on a cleaning frenzy despite being tired and full after dinner and this leads to lots of ‘do this, get that, get this, do that’ to which I oblige and after a little while say ‘anything else?’ hoping that there isn’t!

Something I learned today?

Talking with my student Baipad I found out that she is part Lahu and of Chinese descent. I only discovered this when she told me she was staying in a village somewhere and when I looked it up it was the Lahu village that Bruno and I stopped at the time we rode out to Tha Ton.

What’s an opinion I held for a long time but changed?

When I was younger I ignorantly believed in freedom and anarchy. I say ignorantly in that I just didn’t know enough about it but I believed in the good of people in general, to help each other and make it work.

Age brings cynicism! I understand the appeal of less governance but ultimately I feel as if it is from the perspective of Western self-centredness and that leaves a lot of places for some to be left behind. Over time I’ve come to appreciate the ‘benevolent dictatorship’ of China, if I can call it that.

A well-governed country may not satisfy everyone when it comes to freedom but it seemed ironic to me when visiting that there was a feeling of more freedom in China than there wass in Australia (though I appreciate this was speaking as a guest).

Thailand is also way more relaxed in its rule of law, which has its upsides and downsides, of course. The government here is also not quite so benevolent to its people, or as well organised.

Governments that are corrupted are the scourge of the planet. It doesn’t matter what form the take. Corruption is the key.

Who Wears The Crown? – 23rd October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Where the waters glisten night and day
With all the pearls of wisdom on display
There’s a bridge over untroubled waves
That draws the diamonds a gambler craves

Awash with stories, a rain with dice
There are twenty floors of a winner’s advice
A promise of the life richly deserved
Park your dreams in the spot reserved

Pearly smiles are this devil’s greeting
The chase of the highs is forever fleeting
One more roll, one more spin or turn
The future is no longer of concern
From the shore or dreams, ships depart
Into the mists of the broken heart

Today I’m feeling:

A little anxious about all the things that need to be done when we get back home but also thankful that home is there waiting for me.

(Later) Amy was straight into cleaning mode so I dashed out for coffee revival at Utopia. Once back home though I got sucked into the whirlwind.

Today I’m grateful for:

The hotel staff who helped us in the morning, the taxi driver who told us about his BYD electric car, the Thai Smile check-in staff who was very helpful with our bags, the airport staff we interacted with, the pilots for flying us home, the cabin crew who gave us a snack and water, Aing for picking us up at the airport on time, Now for washing the car (badly but I appreciate the effort), Art for a great first coffee home, the seller for his fish for our dinner. All the people in and out of my space that didn’t kill me today.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling positive and content despite all our running around. Getting back to our home was a little strange for a moment but when I jumped on the bike to go to Utopia I suddenly felt free again. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Aing and Now had two friends staying over and asked if they could stay for a couple more days. For me, it doesn’t really matter as we are still busy running around and Amy didn’t have any problem either except when we met them they didn’t say anything except hello. Amy was upset about that and I tried to rationalise it away. It’s pretty Thai style but still…

Also, despite us just getting back we had to drive into the city for dinner at Amy’s parents as her brother was here for the weekend and flies back early in the morning. It was literally, drive there, eat and drive back!

Something I learned today?

I caught up with all my Substack reading over the last couple of days so lots of stuff went into my eyes and possibly made it to my brain. I think I read one article twice without even realising it. Anyway, one thing that I do recall is a breakthrough in quantum computing. I don’t understand exactly what the machine was doing but the computation took one-millionth of a second whereas it was estimated it would take our current fastest supercomputer ten billion years to complete! That’s outrageous! But will it be useful? Time will tell.

What’s my earliest childhood memory?

I’ve answered this before and I’m a little curious if I would say the same thing now. It must be something from living in Bransty, Whitehaven. I have quite a few memories from there but can’t quite put them in order. The most important memory is from when I was 4 years old (and I even wonder now if that’s right but I’ve made it that age over the times I’ve recalled it) and crying because I didn’t want to die. I assume this may have been triggered by talking to my mum about why I didn’t have a father like other kids. Learning about death is pretty traumatic for a four-year-old.

I took this picture because I’m back home and our giant asparagus plant thing is about to do something. I don’t recall there being amazing flowers but it’s obviously part of its reproduction cycle. The other one that grew before hasn’t flowered again since it did back three or four years ago.

Spreading The Pain – 10th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

I hate myself and I’m letting go
I’m about to tell you what I know
Transferring hate counters my pain
Until I start to feel the hate again

A vicious circle, beyond my control
I chose to further damage my soul
If you refuse this hate from me
How will I ever learn to be?

Closed my mind to all your tales
All my successes feel like fails
I found myself brought to my knees
To spread more pain as I please

A walking contradiction runs away
From all the friends that want to play
A pain no longer able to bear
And no helping hands left to care

A loser in life, love and existence
Taking the path of least resistance
Kill me now, I’m scared to commit
Suicide – I just can’t do it

Today I’m feeling:

Bleary but upbeat. I hung around at school for an hour enjoying hanging out with all the many students I know and even some I don’t know. I came out for coffee but sitting here for a couple hours has seen my energy levels fall and I decided to cancel my class this afternoon and go home, especially as Amy leaves again tomorrow morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Some sun breaking through for an hour or two to dry our washing. I still have a couple of doonas to take to the laundromat that will need washing and drying which I’ll try and do this weekend.

The best thing about today was:

Coming home to find that Amy had mopped and vacuumed before she leaves tomorrow. As we have another long weekend coming I can enjoy a clean and relaxing house.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

We’d told Aing that I fly to Australia on October 12th so asked her to come here on the 11th. As I had to tell Bronwyn and Jochen what dates I would be there I thought to double-check my flight details and discovered that I actually leave on the 9th! Luckily we hadn’t booked her ticket already! With a few messages back and forth everything is confirmed and we’re good to go!

Something I learned today?

I watched another Jerry’s Take On China about how the US is stirring up trouble in the South China Sea about a reef claimed by both China and the Philippines. Amazing how easily reality can get distorted through the lens of corrupt and compromised media. I find it difficult to reconcile that I’m more likely to trust Chinese state media these days. At least in amongst the weirdly Asian political presentation style it is just generally facts that are stated. No opinion or bias just plain reporting. The criticism will be that it is completely biased to the party’s doctrine but that criticism can also be directed to any Western media these days too. No matter the many-party system, there is really only one party. As the old saying goes, ‘It doesn’t matter who you vote for, the government always wins’.

What are some of my favourite song lyrics?

All the quotes that I entered here for 2022 I entered into a little notebook to send to Hayden. As there was lots of space left I decided to fill it with lyrics that I love. But when going through them and looking at them as words they somehow lose their impact. Some words carry their emotion in the way they are sung along with the memories of sweet times gone.

I took this picture because I received a nice package from Reece in the USA containing the Flesh Narc compilation which I will release soon, along with a whole slew of bonuses that I will have to find time to enjoy.

I Know What You’re Thinking – 23rd July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 23 Comments

Dieter, where did you come from?
And where are you going on that train?
A coat and cigarette keep warm
There’s a look on your face I can’t explain

Your eyes reflect the blur outside
You look lost in what’s gone past
Speeding headlong backwards, onwards
Out into the cold world so vast

Moving at speed whilst quietly sitting still
The dust of the morning on your mind
Stepping onto the platform, time stood still
As you contemplated what you’d find

When you look out, you’re looking for me
I don’t mean for me to be seen
I mean you’re seeing the things I see
Reflected in all the places that I’ve been

I recognise your heart and passion
I see you collecting everyone’s thoughts
The future is heading right toward us
As we must navigate these ports

inspired by the attached photo, written about at Spinning Visions blog
15th Mar 2024 – Submitted to dVerse ONL
19th Jun 2024 – Submitted to dVerse – traveling by train

Today I’m feeling:

Struggled to get up after a difficult sleep. It was still over 30 degrees in my bedroom at midnight so I had to shove the fan next to the open window again and by the time it was getting light, I started to feel cool. Having the weight of the two fish I ate last night sitting in my stomach didn’t help either. Finally, I slowly stretched, cobra, child’s pose, cat and cow and opened my eyes. I felt okay. I talked myself into riding my pushbike to Utopia and eventually (see picture below) am relaxing with caffeine, considering a third cup to cap it all off.

Today I’m grateful for:

Window polish/cleaner. And Amy. Combined they made the kitchen window clean again. Free of lizard shit, cobwebs and other detritus. I can see clearly again as I chug down a glass of water or wash out the cat bowls.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling like things are coming together around our house again as Amy tidies, cleans and rearranges everything to her fancy. When I’m here by myself I’m just living but when Amy is here with me it feels like home again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I guess the morning start going to Utopia with Tangmo following along was a little test as I had to leave again before I could even have coffee and ride back, taking Tangmo home. But I dealt with it with calm acceptance and just enjoyed the ride and tiring ‘mo out.

Something I learned today?

I must’ve learned something today! Oh! I read a couple of interesting interviews in the Punk Planet book. 

That whole book has me reevaluating certain things about my role within the punk/DIY scene. I think when you are deep in the middle of something like that you take it very seriously. Sitting a little outside of that scene now puts into clearer context how others might have viewed it at the time. 

One of the interviews was about a scene member’s frustrations with the changes he’d seen at the time (mid-90s) and it felt a little trivial in retrospect but I also understand that a lot of time has passed since and more world experience gathered.

Of more interest was the other interview about protests about the gearing up for bombing Iraq in 1998. 

The interviewee was from our scene but had somehow found himself on live TV (CNN) addressing the warmongers in the US government. In the interview, he was hopeful about the movement of protest against this but history ended up differently as political manipulations saw to it that Iraq would be crushed and crippled for a long time. 

Almost every on-the-ground report I have heard was about how welcoming the average Iraqi was to strangers. The same propaganda that is currently loose on Russia and China must not be allowed to lead to military conflict. 

But the warmongers will continue to beat their drums until the tide of opinion is so overwhelming that it cannot be ignored. 

We hoped for that in 1998. Hoped for it in 2003. Hoped again and again. As situations in the most powerful Western countries deteriorate maybe we are edging nearer that change. Perhaps the world is waking up.

What are some things that help me feel calm and relaxed?

Meditation seems to help a little though I’m never quite relaxed when actually doing it. Perhaps the accumulation and habit is part of this process. Exercise helps too. I still don’t use my body enough but I’m slowly getting there.

Medication has ironed out my wavering emotions and I’m comfortable with that. 

I took this picture because crazy Tangmo ran beside me as I rode my push bike all the way to Utopia. Crazy dog. He was scared when I sat down because he wasn’t sure where he was. He couldn’t come in and if I came in he would’ve scratched at the door so there was nothing to do except ride him back home and come back for coffee on the motorbike as it was hot and sunny by then.

Blesses These – 10th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Princesses, such sweet peas
No stresses, eager to please
Impresses, hungry honey bees
Caresses, eyes of hes and shes

These princesses turned a lot of heads of their fellow students as they dressed up. It’s one of the arguments for having school uniforms instead of letting the kids dress how they would like.

Today I’m feeling:

Good so far, probably because I went through my usual work morning routine. Drove to work, clocked in and came back already as I have no classes today. It’s 8.15 and I’m here sitting in Utopia. Can I keep up this positive feeling? I have a couple of tasks to complete, cleaning and visa application forms, which I put off over the weekend. I know I’m going to have to force myself to do them. Do it you lazy prick!

(Later): I did it.

Today I’m grateful for:

The little pieces of gym equipment I have. I use some stretching bands with handles to do a little leg, neck and shoulder routine some days and I recently bought some rings which I can hang from and which I hope that one day I may even be able to do a pull-up. Just one. That would be enough for me.

The best thing about today was:

Trying to learn to play Bolero on guitar. I can play each part correctly after a few attempts but can’t nail it all the way through yet. I like it to play though – it has a good feel to it. In the app I use it is a level 7 song, a little above where I’m currently at. 
Yesterday I also managed to scrape through a level 11 rendition of the metal version of Asturias. That’s a fun song to play but level 11 is way out of my league. I can’t hit the strings that fast.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It is slightly annoying that I still have to go to school and sign in even if I have no class but at the same time, I’m glad I did because going through that morning routine has kept my energy boosted throughout the day.
I really should organise myself to have things to do on the weekend otherwise my lethargy takes over.
Amy is back on Friday for about three weeks and I’m sure she will keep me busy somehow or other!

Something I learned today?

It’s a new year of freshers at the university and the first day sees clean bright white shirts and pressed skirts. Weirdly I didn’t notice many boys as I was walking around the market. Do they start on different days to the girls?

How does the weather impact my mood and daily activities?

Everything impacts my mood. I noticed today that I felt disappointed that the kids weren’t very chatty and playful. I wonder if I depend on them too much to spur on my own happiness. It was only a brief thought but even those small thoughts impact my mood.
As I was driving back I could see the soft wispy clouds on the peaks and in the valleys of the mountains. It was beautiful and inspiring despite the general grey of the skies. It reminded me a little of the Lake District. It’s weird to feel down in Thailand when the skies are grey. I think it’s a trigger to my memories of England. Even when it is grey here the temperature is still high. It’s almost the opposite here in that the heat and humidity are so over the top and oppressive. That becomes annoying when you feel as if there is no escape.

I took this picture because big dumb Tangmo comes for rubs but smells so bad I rub him with my feet.

On Anger – 12th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Why is it cold in winter?
Why do I get sick at sea?
And why the hell do the people
In the street keep jostling me?

Today I did some things wrong
And maybe I got some things right
What can I do better next time
I’ll reflect on that each night

inspired and borrowed from Seneca

Today I’m feeling:

Good. A little nervous to get back into the classroom but it will be good to get back to it for the last five or so weeks of the semester.

Today I’m grateful for:

My step ladder and broom that allowed me to get to the leaves on the coverings of the outbuildings so that I could clean them up a little. If I want to complete the job I need to get up on the roof again. Not sure I’m quite ready for that adventure.

The best thing about today was:

My mind. From waking til bedtime my mind has been happily occupied with restful and positive thoughts. I even stopped myself a couple of times and thought ‘hey, I feel good!’ Could it be down to a good eight or nine-hour sleep? Can I convince my brain to get eight hours more often as perhaps my aim of seven hours is not serving me best?

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

All good today perhaps because I have been thinking about my classes tomorrow and how to counter the risk of them getting out of control. I’m not sure I’ve done enough but tomorrow will tell the tale.

Something I learned today?

Yesterday I learned that there is no border crossing between Turkey and Armenia. Something to do with the two countries not having good relations though I don’t know why.

Today I read Fukuyama’s The End of History essay which was written in 1989. It was an interesting read that in hindsight has perhaps been proven not to be quite as predicted. I would like to see his reflection on it now.

What brings my life meaning and purpose?

My thoughts are the only things that can bring my life meaning and purpose. My thoughts may drive me to action and those actions will be assigned meaning and purpose by my thoughts. And my actions and thoughts will be assigned meaning and purpose by others, though they may not be the same.

I took this picture because this is the friendly happy cute dog at the shop next to Utopia where I’m getting LardNa for lunch before heading to Daytripper again to hang out for the afternoon.

The Real Secret – 29th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Six million years of work went into this
I know it seems weird to explain
There’s no magical shortcut or formula
To access the power within your brain

inspired by Robert Greene’s Daily Laws

Today I’m feeling:

A little more clear-headed and positive.

Today I’m grateful for:

My hairdresser and her Kim Chi lookalike cat, that rolled and rubbed whilst I waited my turn. The hairdresser cuts my hair as I ask no matter how stupid it seems to her. I can fix it with gel and time as I like. I’m glad she tidies up the back and sides and even trims the hair in my ears, which does make it difficult to pull them out whilst I’m waiting in traffic but never mind, I still appreciate it.

The best thing about today was:

Watching a Chinese movie called Better Days which was pretty good and I’m glad of the fact that I was able to watch it all in one go which I’ve been finding difficult recently as I find myself getting bored more quickly with things these days perhaps victim of the TikTok quick hits of dopamine that the youth are enjoying.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The dirty floor is out of control and I’ve handled it by ignoring it. Next weekend Aing and Now will come and stay on Sunday so I know I will have to clean on Saturday so I’m waiting until then if I can bear it.

Something I learned today?

I watched Jordan Peterson talking about his employer asking him to attend social media reeducation classes which sounds a little odd. He’s a health expert ( I can’t remember exactly what) and sometimes posts online about things unrelated to his job such as politics.

I suppose the things he says could impact his employer by association if they were some form of hate speech and it seems like there are some folks out there who are so easily offended these days that that is what they think it is. It seems gone are the days of differing ideas and opinions.

Since the Twin Towers were destroyed you are either with us or against us, no matter what. Bin Laden has achieved exactly what he wanted as Western capitalist democracies eat themselves from the inside with this attitude.

I try to be sensitive to everyone’s opinion unless I really do find it hateful but most people’s ideas are born from ignorance or circumstance.

What is my biggest dream for the year ahead?

A lot of this type of question in January. My biggest dream is to live to see next January. A lot can happen in a year. Dream? I don’t know. I’m comfortable, I have all I need.

I took this picture because I heard Kim growling whilst I was reading in bed. It’s unusual for her to growl so I got up and found this. I don’t know who brought it in. From nose to tail, this ex-rat was longer than Kim’s body.

Day Is Done – 14th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A day of too much time
Passes by lethargically slow
Nothing got done
And the day is gone before you know

Today I’m feeling:

Motivated and relaxed

Today I’m grateful for:

Our drain cleaning tool (again). It’s a bit of an effort but gets our pipes cleared 90% of the time and is a simple device. Good decision to buy it.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling like I did very little and realizing I’d done quite a lot, tasks that I knew would take some effort like fixing the screen outside my room and cleaning the gutter from the garage roof, which has my toe throbbing from a nasty cut. I’m feeling half dead and half alive. I know I could’ve done a lot more today but everything felt like there was little hurry.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Nothing much today. Late afternoon I found the neighbour’s kids riding around our lawn and I found it amusing kind of reminding me of my old home in Whitehaven and the garden we had there where we left it open so people could easily walk through the alleys. We had many lodgers who came and went and I was used to there being many different and changing people around.

Anyway, whilst it’s not out of my control it is something I’m choosing not to control.

Something I learned today?

I got into watching One Championship women’s atomweight fighting and had been following teenager Victoria Lee, younger sister to Angela.

Today I found out that she died on December 26th aged just 18. She didn’t look much different to my students and had a bright future ahead. Although her death has no personal meaning to me it doesn’t seem fair or right. I also feel extremely lucky to be here at 55.

Have you ever been bullied?

When I was in middle school I was bullied by older kids. I purposely stood out as the only ‘real’ punk kid and was tormented by the older kids calling me Sid. I tried to brush it off but it definitely helped make me bitter towards humanity.

I couldn’t understand how people could be so normal and boring and also not furious at the situation they were growing up into. I didn’t want to be them so I brought it on myself but better that than an average Joe.

When I became one of the older kids I sometimes resorted to bullying but I understood it wasn’t the right way to go about things. I also wasn’t beefy enough to be threatening.

I did acquire a vicious tongue though and was never afraid to speak my mind.

I took this picture because this gunk came out of my bathroom sink pipes! No wonder water was backing up. I could only unblock it so far and not sure how long it will be before I have to do this again. So much for a beautiful picture every day. However, it should be recognised I can do some dirty work every now and then. My hands aren’t always soft and clean.