Vacuous thoughts rise – then becoming prosaic Never surrender! Clarity comes with coffee – so life has meaning again
Shared with Tanka Tuesday using synonyms for mindless and humdrum and reflecting the struggle to write before coffee and the ability to conjure words after coffee!
On the edge. I felt good at forcing myself up and exercising this morning. Could feel my lazy body enjoying the move and stretch.
The weather today is very English and ordinary (a little warmer than in England of course). Dull, grey and spitting light droplets of rain. The dim ambience is straining my tired eyes and as I pulled up for a couple of hours at House with coffee I suddenly felt tired and run down.
Hopefully the coffee picks me up for what should be a relatively straightforward day of classes today.
Today I’m grateful for:
The bakery shop next door to House where I could pick up ingredients for Amy as her first batch of cookies had failed due to too fine a sugar for the mix.
When I got home and tasted them though, they were the best so far but I could still understand why she wasn’t happy with them.
The best thing about today was:
Sitting on the terrace in the egg chair this evening after dark, with Tigger on my lap and rain tap tap tapping down through the canopy of leaves and flowers growing over the entertainment area. The temperature is finally bearable and I’m even wearing a t-shirt tonight, though I could just as easily not do too.
Anyway, it was only a few minutes but I savoured them immensely.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was frustrated with Program (and Kwang) in my grade 8 class and asked him to leave after telling him to sit down on about ten different occasions. He tried to convince me that he was going to behave, but unfortunately, he can’t help himself and will just get up and disturb other people.
As I had said I would kick him out if I had to say his name again, I felt obliged to ensure that he left but he refused. So I told the class to just sit and say nothing until he left. He gave it a good go for about five minutes but Kwang eventually convinced him to leave and I carried on teaching and the class was great after that.
Kwang soon got up and asked to go to the bathroom, though and that was the last I saw of her too.
I didn’t let any of this bother me in particular; just wanted to put my foot down. We have fun in my class but there are limits and they need to understand what is acceptable and what is not. It’s a little sad because Program and Kwang are capable students. They just lack maturity and guidance.
I talked with Kru Karn again later but she was just as frustrated with them as all the teachers complain about them to her and she doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t understand why they are still in school as their points in our SchoolBright system have fallen below zero which generally means that they are asked to leave. Kwang’s current score is now -125!
Thankfully, my second class (grade 10s) was much smoother.
Something I learned today?
We have a new teacher teaching English. Her name is Sasha and she’s from Indonesia. She told me that she remembers me from visiting with the exchange program students last year. Her English is good and clear.
It made me wonder who is employing her and how much she is getting paid. I don’t think she speaks Thai, so I’m not sure if she is included as a Thai teacher and will be asked to do all the things that they have to do, too.
Anyway, I told her to ask me anything if she had any questions.
29th Aug 2025 – I’m guessing she must have only been teaching here temporarily as I don’t think I saw her again!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Today is Nicha’s birthday and I wished her well but I could see that she and her friends may have been expecting something more.
A little later, I popped around to the cafe and bought her back a slice of chocolate cake, for which she was very appreciative and came and gave me a hug.
She’s a good kid. I hope that she finds her place in the world and that it is a good place.
Someone took this picture because these students of mine spent the weekend away doing some kind of activity. Sadly, 4 of them decided not to come to school today and missed my fun movie class. Sad for them anyway…
A bit better again today, maybe at 85%. Struggled getting to sleep last night, maybe because I had slept so much the day before, thinking about classes and students and how things slowly change. I miss all my students in one way or another.
Today I’m grateful for:
Firstly, to the uni students at the PTT station who tried to help me put air in my bike tyres. Unfortunately, I think I fucked the tube by riding it there in the first place so nothing worked for it.
Secondly, to dependable 100-year-old uncle who replaced the tube for me, jabbering away at me about things, indicating that the tyre on the bike is too small. I didn’t want to remind him that it was him that put it on there! He also said that he could replace the starter battery but I told that that would have to wait until next month when I have more money.
Talking of which, the SpeechOdd/High Voltage records are due to be sent to me from the factory in Taiwan and I’m hoping not to get hit with too much customs tax. I also still have to pay for the cover printing too.
The best thing about today was:
There was a very good atmosphere around the school today for the last day before cracking down to studies.
Even though I could’ve gone home at 9 am I went to the cafe until midday doing some writing and lessons and then went back to school where I was greeted by students everywhere I went, I guess as I know many different students from grades 8 to 12 now.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It was an ominous sign when arriving home to see two trucks from our internet provider out on the road and sure enough, there’s been no internet at home again since the afternoon.
Time to read or catch up on other things instead.
Something I learned today?
A jiffy is an actual unit of time, defined as 1/100th of a second.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I met Fui by chance at House this morning and he told me about a school in Bangkok that his son passed the exam to enter so I got the details and passed them onto Anchan. She would have lots of hurdles to face to pursue this option but at least she can be armed with information.
I complimented Kru Mai on his outrageous shirt today!
What emotions do I feel when I think about my future?
At the moment I feel pretty calm even though the future is uncertain about which direction it may go. I’m calm because I think I can deal with it whatever happens.
These days I get more stressed and disconsolate when I think about the futures for my students. I was thinking about this when I was talking to Fui today in connection with Anchan. A smart kid who knows that she needs to get out from where she is to improve her future but can’t afford to.
When you are struggling to afford new uniforms or lunch day to day, you can’t even consider going to Bangkok to take a free entrance exam for a better school (and think about even cheap fees and cheap accommodation – anything above 0 baht is out of reach.)
I took this screenshot from a video because iPhone called me over to be in the background of her video that she posted on Instagram. She didn’t let me down gently when she said that I won’t become famous!
Born lucky, amongst cat’s kisses Brought love and calmly kept But laughing aloud cools kinship Banging loudly and can kneel
Business lull as corporations kaput Broken laws allow constables kvetching Black light awareness, cooly kindhearted Both looking around catching kittens
Pretty good though this heat is a killer. I’ve made an agreement with myself not to complain about it though.
It also seems like last night’s mala upset my stomach a little bit this morning but I should be good to go for the rest of the day?
Today I’m grateful for:
Going to Lost and Found, a new cocktail bar in Chiang Rai, after Amy was disappointed with The Space due to poor service and average food.
The best thing about today was:
Starting organising lessons for next semester. It was a bit of a headache and I only did it for a couple of hours, whilst at Utopia for morning coffee, but it is something that will kickstart my brain again to fill in all the gaps that I need.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When we arrived at The Space we sat outside next to the river but with the humidity and the sun setting suddenly there was a great birthing of insects which usually indicates the coming of rain. Let’s hope so but at this time these little critters were dropping into our drinks, food and clothes. We quickly dashed inside with everything.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
A couple of weeks ago Amy drunkenly said she wished that she had a globe and then forgot all about it – but I didn’t. I ordered one from Lazada that arrived a couple of days ago and left it for her to find this morning. Sadly, on opening the box we found that it was badly packed and the cheap plastic base had splintered a little. So my next task is to super glue it and then assemble it. Amy seemed less excited about it than when she was drunk but never mind. Happy anniversary little Amy!
Whilst Amy was extremely upset at the restaurant I tried to stay calm and enjoy some of the food and quickly picked up that we should leave with haste.
I took this picture because as Amy had checked in at Lost and Found on Facebook, earning herself six free shots!
Pretty good again. Trying not to think too much about the events on this day last year. We go on until we don’t.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to easily find the Chinese TV version of The Three Body Problem. I’ll watch that over the holidays.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to sneak a coffee from 22 Grams this afternoon as we took Cap to get checked at the vet. Still the best coffee in Chiang Rai for me.
Cap’s blood levels are a little high for his kidneys now so we have to get him tested again in a couple of weeks.
Something I learned today?
I think it is at the UN that the USA is always found in breach of rules and they always launch an appeal.
But appeals are never heard so that the USA doesn’t have to follow the rules until the appeal is over.
Why are the appeals never heard? Because since the last two appeals judges retired the USA has blocked the positions of any new ones.
Hmm – and they call themselves part of the rules-based order.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I ordered a 32” globe for Amy as an anniversary gift. I hope it isn’t too plastic and cheap-looking when it arrives.
I took this picture because yesterday the gardeners came and tried to trip our hedge so that we push the fence back up. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple and we’ll ask the builder who is coming to fix the drain in the garage soon.
What goes on in there? Door ajar, window wide Unholy noises emanate Secrets unseen inside
Are there witches Three crone sisters That talk in tongues And hypnotic whispers
A crash and a scream There’s blood supposed Suddenly the doors And window closed
The shadows darken And take their leave Was it just a nightmare That kids believe?
Inspired by the attached picture that reminds me of my own childhood home a little but made me think more of a house that as kids we used to pass sometimes at night and heard all sorts of weird noises coming from. Our childish minds formed ghosts and witches and we would run past as quickly as possible. A few years later and I ended up dating the girl that lived there with her wild and crazy mum and girlfriend and I soon saw for myself what was making all the noise inside. They were bat-shit crazy. It was fun for a while.
A little tired and underwhelmed so far though I’m waiting for my first coffee. I haven’t been sleeping well due to discomfort in my shoulder and struggling to breathe clearly.
Today I’m grateful for:
That the AFL website now has a dedicated page for match replays where the scores are not displayed.
Maybe they had it before but this is season is the first time I’ve found it.
The best thing about today was:
Realising what I can do for my grade 12 classes next year. Last week Australia announced that they are raising the IELTS level for students from 5.5 to 6. Already well above most kids level but as we were talking about it it reminded me of when I was teaching Chinese students online, preparing them for the Speaking exam.
So I figure why not use my class to prepare these kids and go through a different set of IELTS questions, discussing and preparing one week and then attempting the following.
It should be easy enough to find sample questions online again and it will just be a case of wash, rinse, repeat. I love it when an idea comes to me like this because I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with this class.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Today has been pleasantly full. From coffee to immediately getting home and watching the Swans play well to beat Essendon, then straight out for buffet sushi lunch at a place we hadn’t tried before, to visit Cap at the vets and then a little shopping at Makro on the way home, straight into my room to play guitar and then to finally sit and watch some YouTube videos at around 5.30 pm.
I’ve been glad to be on the go for a change as I’ve not been moving my old bones enough for this last week or so and I’m feeling it.
Something I learned today?
I finally found out where to change the setting on my Mac to do a three finger window drag!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Amy hurried me along to not wait around with my morning coffee as I usually do today but thankfully I was up early enough to get back and watch the football with enough time for us to make it to lunch before she started biting my head off.
I’m happiest when …
Listening to music, reading a book, reading a comic, playing with students – when the joy resonates through my body bringing me to a point of savouring.
Anything that triggers this is when I’m happiest and sometimes, if I remind myself, I can activate this feeling at will.
Rested and slow to get going. Two Utopian coffees are working their magic though I wish I could clear the phlegm out of my body and breathe clearly again.
Today I’m grateful for:
The Ruamittr ice cream in the freezer that Amy only told me about today!
The best thing about today was:
Clean (and new) sheets!
Something I learned today?
It was interesting to read an old interview with all the members of Rancid and to hear a wild story about an exhumed baby at Gilman Street!
Pretty flat and tired. Less dizzy than yesterday and my brain seems to be functioning reasonably well but I’m lacking energy and motivation.
Today I’m grateful for:
Two awesome coffees this morning where Nick was manning Utopia in Art and Noey’s absence.
The best thing about today was:
Watching the Swans beat Collingwood at the MCG (played on Friday) cheered me up, followed by watching the highlights of Ipswich beating Sheffield Wednesday 6-0.
As I was watching the AFL and thinking about how long I have followed certain sports teams and seeing how young they are, I was reminded of the time when I was the same age as the players and thinking I could’ve done that and that is 35 years ago now. Players have come and gone but the team maintains. How long will sports last into the future?
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m not feeling particularly hungry today so I only ate some snacks but did finish off the chocolate almonds.
Something I learned today?
In the UK, the Tories have let slip their true intentions for Gaza: they want Israel’s genocide to continue for as long as possible and they are worried about peace because the genocide is hurting Labour in the polls.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I did so little today and of no real consequence but I did accidentally trap Tigger’s tail in the door and he was understandably upset. I hope he’s ok. I saw him outside later but wasn’t able to check.
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