Maybe one day
I’ll laugh on my birthday
Devour the cake you made
As you got drunk
Waiting for the sponge to rise

Maybe one day
We’ll be lost in love again
Taking photos in the park
Fresh-faced
And newly dyed hair

Maybe one day
I’ll bring flowers to your work
And your colleagues
Will look at you with longing
To be just as loved

Maybe one day
To scratch the travel itch
We’ll be taken away
In different directions

Maybe one day
All the plans I made
Will be forgotten
Just lists on fading paper
A reminder

Maybe one day
We’ll look at each other
And celebrate together
This journey made
Surrounded by our comforts

Maybe one day
The cats long gone
I’ll push you along
Complaining about my knee
And we’ll chat about the future

Submitted to the Weekly Prompts Challenge and inspired by When You’re Gone by Colleen Looseleaf

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Today I’m feeling:

A little tired but was able to push through to do some exercise again – another AI-generated one that I ended up running through twice as it is quite short.  My abs were burning but feel ok now.

It’s super humid this morning which is energy-sapping and my first class were difficult to keep engaged and under control but I didn’t let it bother me too much.

Nomsen was messaging her mum online and then burst into tears for some reason.

After she calmed down I told her that she shouldn’t be talking with anyone outside the class during the lesson and that if she does some study it will take her mind off things.

She complained of a headache and I know she finds English too difficult but I just tried to push her to not give up.

Phu was also sleepy in the class and he also struggles with English.  The kids told me that he was up late working last night but that’s not my problem.  I guide and encourage him as best as I can but expect very little from him.

Today I’m grateful for:

My 4-hour break between classes during the day.  It gave me lots of time to catch up on some things that I wanted to read and some writing too.  I won’t have much free time for the next two days so it’s just as well.

The best thing about today was:

Hmm…nothing stands out in particular but it was a pleasurable and consistent day that I enjoyed very much.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I haven’t managed to get to my room to play guitar for a couple of nights now and I really want to.  

I’m doing a bit more lesson planning in the evenings because I’m worried that I don’t have enough things prepared for all these new classes – and I’ve hamstrung myself a little by asking the students what they want to learn about rather than just giving them canned lessons.

Something I learned today?

I talked with S* again today about what she told me on Monday about sometimes showering with her stepdad when she’s tired.  And she confirmed it and the way she described it does seem to be completely innocent and is not some kind of regular thing. Like a naturist family or something like that.

I warned her to be careful who she tells about this and she said she understood that and only mentions it to me because she trusts me.

Because of her exposure to Western culture, she considers herself only 10% Thai.  Maybe as a Westerner, she was testing to see how normal this situation was.  I told her it was pretty unusual.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As Amy flew to Bangkok to visit Nong Mai and Yaya today and will be away until Sunday I have to find my own food.  No problem, I thought, as the market would be on at the University.

As I knew that Baipad’s mum was still away, I asked if she and her sister wanted to come with me to get some food there and so I picked them up and we drove up to the Uni but because most of the students had gone home for the end of the semester the market was cancelled.

We drove around and eventually found a cheap Korean shop to eat at.

When was the last time I felt a sense of freedom?

The one time that I felt it really noticeably was on my trips to China.

On my first visits, I was surprised to see how free the environment was and I likened it to being at a large free music festival with folks just getting on with what they needed to do.  It was a far cry from my corporate work environment and the nanny state society of Australia.

Of course, for me, I was a tourist and enjoyed the freedom of being on holiday but I sensed it amongst the people in general there.  For them, it was probably just business as usual and normal.

I guess we tend to see more freedom outside of our own environments as we count every negative against us with more weight and take for granted a lot of other things.  It’s a reason to consider that one culture cannot be better than another.  Just different.

I feel this freedom living here in Thailand too but do understand that it is only in comparison with my experiences elsewhere before.

I’m really anti-stupidity laws such as jaywalking, which was enforced in Sydney CBD with a brutal crackdown and over-the-top fines.  On my first trip to China, I remember watching as pedestrians grouped together and slowly forced the cars on the road to stop and let them cross.

I imagine it is much different there now, with probably fifty times the number of cars on the road since but it showed me that people don’t need a law to counter stupidity.  If you are hit by a car whilst trying to cross the road you only have yourself to blame.

Same with holes in the sidewalk.  If you are not looking where you are going it’s your fault if you fall in.  Don’t blame the folks that made the hole.

Yes, things could be better and safer but not everything needs a law and its enforcement.  I mention enforcement as in Thailand there are many laws but they are laxly enforced.  Sometimes, this makes sense.

Which place from my childhood do I most fondly remember?

Without doubt that would be Forest Cottage – my home from aged 9 until about 20.

Most particularly my bedroom, where a lot of partying went on along with all the other ups and downs that teenagers have to struggle through.  It was my space to invite others in or shut them out.